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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  December 22, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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( band playing intro music ) >> welcome stephen colbert! >> stephen: whoo! thank you. thank you, everybody. welcome to the show. hey! that's my band. welcome to the late show, everybody! whoo! whoo! welcome to the late show, everybody! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you very much. you're very kind! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you very much, everybody. welcome to "the late show." thanks, everybody. you know, i'm so excited. i'm your host, stephen colbert. and tonight, whether or not you are aware of it, is a momentous occasion, because this is our
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( cheers and applause ) that's nice, 50, of course, is the golden anniversary, so i bought everyone on my staff their very own gold bond medicated powder. ( laughter ) how you feeling, jon? >> jon: dry and refreshed! >> stephen: that means it's working. all right. 50 episodes. i can't believe we reached the big 5-0 in just ten weeks. to put that in perspective, it took "new year's rockin' eve" 50 years to reach 50 episodes. ( laughter ) that's a hell of a pace. of course, this is really about you and me, audience and host, 50 whole episodes together and after all that time, i got to say, there's still a spark. i can't believe-- i mean, 50.
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every night. i don't even mind that sometimes, halfway through, you fall asleep. ( laughter ) by now we know each other so well we can finish each others... >> sentences! >> stephen: i was going to say pasta, but sure, sentences too. i know we said we wouldn't get each other anything, but i got you a fantastic show tonight. ( cheers and applause ) first-- yeah! all right! first, i will be sitting down with the great sylvester stallone. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: adrian, adrian! adrian! >> stephen: his new movie "creed" is about rocky balboa training the son of apollo creed. i believe in the next one he trains ivan drago's son, vladimir putin.
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after that, after that-- i'll be talking with the newsman's newsman, mr. ted koppel. ( cheers and applause ) ted has a new book about hacking threats on the internet. i'll ask him what town he was born in and his mother's maiden name. and we'll have a performance by the band "my morning jacket!" ( cheers and applause ) my morning jacket took that name from an old coat they found. this is true, with the initials m.m.j. on it. they were this close to naming the band "dry clean only." and we're going to kick things off in just a second. but one last thing: jon, did you catch the ford ecoboost 400 nascar race yesterday? >> jon: i-- no. >> stephen: you didn't catch that? >> jon: i didn't catch it. >> stephen: you didn't catch that? it was great.
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it's like to be going 200 miles an hour right on somebody's bumper. plus with the g.p.s. going the whole time, "follow the highlighted route; in 1,700 feet, turn left, then turn left. continue... turning left." anyway, for those of you who did not see it, kyle busch stormed from behind to win the last seven laps, thus defeating three other championship contenders to bring home the 2015 nascar sprint cup. and i personally want to offer my congratulations to kyle, so let's do it right now. kyle busch, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) congratulations! >> thank you so much! >> stephen: that is good looking! nascar sprint cup champion, kyle busch! that's a beautiful-- >> hey, hey!
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that is really nice. now this is the sprint cup, right here? >> this is the nascar sprint cup trophy. >> stephen: looks like it would be hard to drink out of. >> i think you pour anything in it and it's going to come right out the bottom. >> stephen: all right, well-- >> good observation. >> stephen: it was an amazing comeback-- >> thank you. >> stephen: not just in the race but in the season. i understand you missed the first 11 races because you broke your left leg and right foot. >> other way around, close enough. >> stephen: left foot-- right-- whatever. >> yes. >> stephen: you broke a lot from the waist down. >> i broke some things. it wasn't good. it hurt! >> stephen: well, as a sprint cup champion and the winner, not only do you get this wonderful trophy, but more importantly, kyle, you have qualified for the "late show with stephen colbert" cinnamon toast crunch 400. >> say what? >> stephen: that's true. >> really! >> stephen: kyle busch. kyle busch. ( applause ) kyle busch-- >> did you want to hold this thing? >> stephen: i would love to hold this thing. kyle busch. kyle busch. you're never getting it back now... kyle busch-- >> that was probably a really bad idea. >> stephen: will you race me?
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it? ( cheers and applause ) >> yeah! >> stephen: this is a regulation pinewood derby track, verified by the international pinewood derby governing body, which i believe is the nearest cub scout troop. kyle. >> yes. >> stephen: you will be driving car number 18, a toyota, sponsored of course, by m & m's. >> m & m's krispy! >> stephen: while i will be behind the wheel of number 11, right here, brought to you by the good people at cinnamon toast crunch. ( cheers and applause ) cinnamon toast crunch, slightly more nutritious for breakfast than a bowl of m & m's. all right, are you readykyle? >> i was born ready. >> stephen: all right. jon batiste, will you start us off. >> jon: yeah! gentlemen, on your mark...
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( cheers and applause ) >> yeah! >> stephen: jimmy! >> whoo! >> stephen: let's see that again in slow motion! ( laughter ) kyle, i would like to present you with the cinnamon toast crunch cup. >> thank you. >> stephen: congratulations. kyle busch, everybody! 2015 sprint cup champ! >> tonight, stephen welcomes sylvester stallone; ted koppel; and a musical performance by my morning jacket!
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human. and now, it's time for "the late show with stephen colbert!" >> stephen: hey, everybody. ( cheers and applause ). let the games begin. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thanks, everybody. thanks so much. thanks, jon! ( cheers and applause ) that's exciting. that's exciting. hey, y'all, i'm not sure if you are familiar, but it's already november 23rd. which means we're only three days away from thanksgiving. there is only one thing the host is always in charge of, and that's the turkey.
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de-brine it, give it a deep sensory butter shiatsu, and remember, if you put the stuffing inside the bird, there is a risk of salmonella, so remember, put the stuffing inside the bird. that's why it's called stuffing . roll the bones, live on a high wire. stuffing on the side is not stuffing, unless it's stove top stuffing, one of our sponsors. stove top, eat it. and i got to tell you, this thanksgiving, i'm feeling a little betrayed, because it has just been revealed that the grocery store labels on the turkey mean very little. "fresh, young, natural," meaningless. by the way, i googled fresh, young, natural, and i-- i would like to apologize to everyone at cbs human resources. i understand that i violated company policy and it will not happen again. apparently fresh turkey just means it's not fully frozen.
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allowed to die of old age. natural turkey has the same legal standing as cheez with two es and a z, and wild turkey means you're too drunk to care any more. ( cheers and applause ) the point is, it seems like the only ones you can trust these days are the good people at butterball. they're all about helping you understand your turkey. in fact, butterball's been running a toll free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. the most commonly asked question, how do i thaw my turkey? of course back in 1981 the answer was with a pair of leg warmers. ( laughter ) every year, the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save the turkey's life. ( laughter ) and while the hotline opens on november 2nd, not surprisingly the volume peaks on thanksgiving day, so right now, butterball is
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the phone. but no one is calling. so to give those nice talk line operators something to do, this morning i called the butterball hotline... ( cheers and applause ) and i asked them some of the urgent turkey questions on my mind. this is... >> "the late show" presents: thanksgiving turkey tips with our friends at butterball. first things first. i called the butterball turkey tip hotline: >> butterball turkey talk line, nicole speaking, how can i help you? >> stephen: hey, nicole, this is stephen colbert, from "the late show with stephen colbert." >> well, hi, stephen, how are you today? >> stephen: i'm doing fine, how are you, nicole? >> we are fantastic. >> stephen: i have a question about my turkey, could you help me with that? >> absolutely. >> stephen: what is the best way to thaw this thing out? >> great question. that is the number one question
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>> stephen: i got mine in the garage in a hefty bag, and i poured in a jug of antifreeze. >> oh my goodness, you know, we don't recommend that. >> stephen: thanks for your help. >> all right, thanks, stephen, happy thanksgiving. >> stephen: bye, you too. hi, turkey talk line, who is this? >> this is chef tony, how may i help you? >> stephen: is that your name or is chef your title? >> chef's my title and tony is my first name, yes. >> stephen: i have a question for you, tony. >> yes. >> stephen: i got a nephew who wants me to make tofurkey this year. what is the best way to let him know he's no longer welcome in my house? >> he wants to do a vegan style turkey? >> stephen: he does. >> that is almost impossible to do. >> stephen: how many people are there, there? how many of those-- are you all in the same room together? >> we're all in the same room. there are five of us here. >> stephen: tony, if-- if-- if you are being held against your will, just say, happy thanksgiving. >> happy thanksgiving. >> stephen: okay, i understand. i understand, loud and clear. we're going to get someone to you right away. stay where you are, tony, don't go, stay strong.
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>> butterball turkey hotline, this is janice. >> stephen: janice? >> yeah. >> stephen: hi! hey, i plan to serve my turkey with some cranberry sauce, which i like with a hint of orange zest and red wine, but the thing is, my kids like it plain. so should i serve both kinds, or should i leave my family and move to barcelona and pursue my dream of being a dancer? >> i would probably start with leaving the wine out of cranberries first and go ahead and add that later. >> stephen: so serve it without the wine to the kids, and add it for me. >> absolutely. >> stephen: with the wine, mh- huh. >> absolutely. >> stephen: i like to take a packet of orange lick-um-aid and pour it upside-down into a bottle of pinot grigio, shake it up a few times, and just put a nipple on the top and crawl into a corner. >> you know, whatever works. >> stephen: janice, happy thanksgiving. >> happy thanksgiving to you too! >> stephen: okay, bye. >> hi, this is phyllis from the butterball turkey talk line, how can i help you? >> stephen: phyllis? >> yes. >> stephen: hey phyllis, it is stephen colbert from "the late show." >> how are you? >> stephen: i'm doing fine, how are you today?
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we're talking turkey here. >> stephen: let's talk turkey. here is how i prepare my turkey. i have deep unresolved feelings of rage, and i-- they come out when i baste the turkey. i do what i call hate-basting, where i just jab it with the baster, and pretend it is the face of people who have wronged me. here is my question, will that flavor come out in the turkey? >> well, that's not our department here, you know. we-- we are-- we are the cooking line, we are the experts. and we will tell you-- >> stephen: i understand. i have got you on the phone-- i have got you on the phone though, as long as i have got you on the phone here; don't you ever need to let off some steam? >> you betcha, yes. >> stephen: i mean, halloween is easy, because have i done some unspeakable things to a pumpkin. >> oh, really, i can imagine-- i can imagine you do that. but why don't you-- why don't you just be good to the turkey this year? >> stephen: okay, thanks very much, happy thanksgiving! say hi to tony. bye. >> good afternoon, turkey talk line, chef tony, how may i help you? >> stephen: tony, it's stephen again.
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without catching my house on fire, and as a quick follow-up question, can you connect me to the fire department? >> well, don't put a wet turkey into hot fat, no. >> stephen: never fry a wet turkey-- >> never fry a wet turkey in hot oil. >> stephen: --in hot oil. >> that is correct. >> stephen: okay. stay strong, tony. again, happy thanksgiving? happy thanksgiving? >> happy thanksgiving. >> stephen: you're breaking my heart, tony. we'll be right there. >> this has been thanksgiving turkey tips with our friends at butterball. >> stephen: we'll have some more turkey tips later on in the show. now stick around for sylvester stallone. ( cheers and applause ) arturito soup! okay, okay.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is the writer and star of the rocky, rambo and expendables films. this week he returns to his iconic role playing rocky balboa in the film "creed." >> everything i've got has moved on. and i'm here.
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'cause i said to myself if i break, if i'm hurt, whatever. i ain't going to fix it. why bother? >> i'm just some bum living in your crib, just nothing. >> you're a good kid, a good fighter. but you got your whole future ahead of you. mine? back there, that's like one of them guys on that wall. in the back. in the past. >> stephen: please welcome sylvester stallone. ( cheers and applause ) i like that. i like that entrance you just did. >> oh really? >> stephen: not every guest takes the time to do a little
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on stage. >> that was because i couldn't see. ( laughter ) that's your biggest fear, you come out, you do a flop. >> stephen: oh, yeah. you can fix everything with editing. >> really? >> stephen: yeah. >> let me try it again. >> stephen: yeah. well thank you so much for being here. >> it's my pleasure, really. >> stephen: you know, everybody knows the film "rocky" knows you from that. people may not know, may not remember that won the oscar for best film in 1977. >> right. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you starred in it, you were nominated for both writing the screenplay and acting that year. only two other people, charlie chaplin and orson wells, have ever been nominated in those two categories in the same year. ( cheers and applause ) that is an incredible breakout year for you. >> it really was. >> stephen: and now, 40 years later, here you are playing rocky balboa again, training michael b. jordan, who plays apollo creed's son and the reviews are extraordinary. how does it feel to be loved for playing rocky now here 40 years
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>> it's the greatest gift. i know that sounds cliche and trite but at one time i thought, "you want to just be remembered as this main character?" and then as i got older, i said what a privilege to be able to do this and then to be able to carry on for so long and then to have a couple of young filmmakers, 27 years old, come in and find new life in the movie. rocky's story has basically been told. but now "creed," michael b. jordan and director ryan coggler have created an entirely new-- i wouldn't say beginning of a series, but a character that really speaks for today's youth, and what's happening today. whereas i spoke for what happened to george washington, you know, way back, abe lincoln what he was going through. >> stephen: but you were struggling. you were a little bit like rocky because were you struggling. you didn't have a dime to your name. you were offered $300,000 to sell the script to "rocky." >> right. >> stephen: and have somebody else be in the role.
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why was that story so important to you, why did you write it? >> you know, i have a few crossroads in your life andd i just realized that if i was ever going to be successful or at least true to my dreams, this is the part. because i was always being cast as kind of the heavy. i was the one that was would mug jack lemmon, mug woody allen. i was the mugger! i mugged kojak. like, "go get the mugger." i thought, "okay, why don't i take a character who is kind of a mugger...a, you know... a loan shark but he also has a lot inside that no one has really seen before so you combine the two and out came rocky. >> stephen: well, was it hard to convince, you know, the people who were putting up the money that you should be the person playing? >> oh my gosh. >> stephen: how about the rest of the cast? did they have any doubts in you? >> 100%. i doubted myself, sure. are you kidding? they said basically "over our dead body."
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at that time, you had a lot of young actors who were energetic, jimmy caan, burt reynolds, ryan o'neal, everyone fancied themselves as a fighter. and they said "who is that guy with a crooked mouth and droopy...? no, forget him. he looks like a heavy bag, you know. leave him. he could be used in the gym scene, you can punch him." that was pretty ch it. but again, it was just one of those things. and i don't know if it could happen today because really i was not qualified, if you look on paper. it was a terrible choice they made. i just got lucky. >> stephen: now were you-- did carl weathers, had you known him before? >> no, no, no. what happened carl weathers. >> stephen: the original apollo creed was carl weathers. >> it was. he was fantastic in it. but we had cast a fighter named ken norton who has the distinction of actually fighting muhammad ali two times and breaking his jaw, so he was big. he was so big that i-- i thought
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was a vein in his arm. you could literally see veins. so the day, two days, three days before filming he goes, "i decided, i changed my mind. i'm going to enter the abc superstar competition in the bicycle race," i go, "you're kidding me. i said you don't have 250 pound bicycle guys." but he left. so they made an emergency phone call for anyone who could sort of fit the part. and he was living in oakland. he was an oakland raider. he gets on an airplane, like a piper cub, comes down, he is in a bad mood, carl was. and he comes in, i'm sitting there in the office, all slumped down, he goes, "show me the script." i go okay. and he reads the script, he has this big voice and then the director goes, "why don't you stand up with me and see if you can move around." he slapped me-- like, i go, "damn!" and he's huge! and then he says why don't you two read a scene.
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"sigh. to tell you the truth, i could do a lot better if you gave me a real actor to work with." >> stephen: wait, does he know you're playing rocky? >> no, no. >> stephen: he thinks you're just... >> he thinks i'm there to clean up. you know? and i thought, "perfect. hire him. he's perfect." >> stephen: we have to take a little break. can you stick around? i would love to talk some more. >> sure. >> stephen: all right, we'll be back with more sylvester
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( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back.
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stallone. well, you know, you got known as rocky, you got known as the guy with the big muscles. were there some parts that you wanted to go out for, they were like no, no, no. that is not a part for rocky. >> no, yes, there were many parts. but unfortunately, i want to be, like, "can you be the book seller in 'notting hill'?" no, i'm not going to play that. really, i wanted-- "could you play like a school teacher in something like...what was it? not "mr. todd,", the one like peter o'toole did, "mr. chips." he looks more like "mr. chipped tooth," you know. so, the guys were like "why don't you play a mugger?" i go, "okay." >> stephen: back to square one. >> so i go back to square one. they said, "okay. how about this character named rambo?" ( cheers and applause ) so i realized, the thing is-- i didn't realize i was the 11th choice. everyone was away for rambo. >> stephen: who else was up for rambo? do you know?
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it was steve mcqueen. it was deniro, it was pacino. i'm telling you, it kept growing. jimmy caan. it got down to zippy the monkey and then sly. ( laughs ) >> stephen: besides being an actor, you know, as i said, you were also nominated for best screenplay. you started off writing your own stuff. did you think of yourself as a writer? >> no, no, no. actually, and i tell people this, that i was not exactly what you call...i was not edgar allen poe as a student. i was not very erudite. but i learned that i was not doing well as an actor, perhaps never even going to make it as an actor. so at least try some other avenue. so i kept all these thoughts inside. and in my down time, i literally would write. or i would go to the movies with a tape recorder. tape record what was being played at the time, let's say it was "easy rider," and then listen to it and then try to rewrite the script with using different words, like play games. >> stephen: wow, yeah. >> and i just learned how to write screenplays. >> stephen: wow, that's incredible. like teaching yourself to play a
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>> i had nothing better to do. >> stephen: well, you're also, people don't necessarily know this, you are also a painter. >> a painter. >> stephen: this is some of your work. this is-- this is, of course, you as rocky. and what is this over here? >> this is what rocky really looks like after a fight. this is what you would think, conceptualize, like "this is a glamorous job." but at the end of the night, it's not such a is a very painful, lonely experience. >> stephen: you actually have gotten more abstract with your work over the years. >> yes. >> stephen: let's put up this one. this is beautiful. this is my favorite one right here. >> thank you. >> stephen: that's gorgeous piece. does it have a name or story behind it? >> it is whatever you want it to be. because, i'm not saying that-- it's a kidney stone with a rabbit. and what it is, as you get more and more into painting and you start to focus on the abstract, you leave to the viewer the right to make up its own decision. in other words, you use your imagination.
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feeling that the more and more paint, the more simplistic you try to become and you leave more to other people's imagination, instead of being so literal. >> stephen: you are deep, sylvester stallone. >> i almost put myself to sleep. thank you. ( applause ). >> stephen: "creed" is in theaters this wednesday. sylvester stallone, thank you so much for being here. >> my pleasure, thank you very much. ( cheers and applause ).
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( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. welcome back, folks. you know, as you watch this, it is after midnight. meaning there are now only two days until thanksgiving. making it all the more urgent to get thanksgiving turkey tips with our friends at butterball. this is... >> the dramatic conclusion of thanksgiving turkey tips with our friends at butterball. >> thank you for calling the butterball turkey chat line, this is christopher, how can i help you? >> stephen: christopher, hi. this is stephen colbert. if i'm running short on turkey, can i just break into a "boston market," steal one of the
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home and tell everyone that "oops, it shrank?" >> well, you know that turkey is not chicken. >> stephen: i'm pretty sure chickens are baby turkeys. >> no, no. they are two different birds. >> stephen: okay. i'm in a new relationship and i'm dating a guy who walks around with a big hoodie and a mini stereo that blasts reggae songs. in certain ways i'm ashamed of him, and even repulsed by him. but our sexual chemistry is like nothing i've ever experienced, and for the first time in 30 years i feel like i'm alive. my question is should i tent the bird with foil or should i let it roast uncovered? >> the way we roast a turkey is by cooking it uncovered for two thirds of the cook time and as soon as it starts to smell like thanksgiving, you are going to pull out a piece of aluminum foil, fold it in half, make a little tent and tent it right over the breast. >> stephen: i didn't catch all of that, but i assume i'm supposed to put foil on it for some period of time? >> this is nicole with the butterball turkey hotline. >> stephen: nicole, nicole. thank god. >> hello again.
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turducken this year and i'm trying to get the duck into the turkey. but the turkey is having none of it. it keeps running away. i got the chicken into the duck and i got to say, the duck doesn't seem happy about that either. um, it's walking funny. >> well, i don't know if i can help you there. i could help you with your stuffing questions. >> stephen: i'm stuffing the turkey in a special way this year before i ship it to a friend. i put the stuffing in the individual balloons before i insert them in the turkey's body cavity. and my question is, are you a cop? because you have to tell me if you're a cop or else this is entrapment. also can police dogs smell through turkey meat? >> you know, they probably could and i can assure you i'm definitely not a police officer. we have never heard that before, that is something new. >> stephen: yeah. yeah. okay. thanks so much, nicole. i'll talk to you later. >> all right. well hey, happy thanksgiving! >> butterball turkey talk line, this is sharla. >> stephen: sharla, maybe you can settle something for me. is it baby in the bassinet and turkey in the oven?
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i've smoked a fair amount of pcp. >> i think you just want to follow those directions. >> stephen: follow those directions. >> with that turkey. >> stephen: all right. >> butterball turkey talk line. this is alice. >> stephen: hi, alice, this is stephen from "the late show." how are you? >> i'm fine. happy thanksgiving. >> stephen: happy thanksgiving to you too. what size turkey would you recommend for 47 people? >> i would recommend about a pound per person. >> stephen: a pound per person? so, a 47-pound turkey? >> no, no, would you have to buy several turkeys. >> stephen: i only want to buy one because it looks prettier on the table. >> you probably won't have enough turkey to pass around. >> stephen: hey, alice, i enjoy a crouton-based stuffing with my thanksgiving dinner, but my sister-in-law enjoys crack cocaine at all times of year, do i still have to invite her to dinner this year? >> oh dear. no, i think you can choose whoever you want to invite to thanksgiving dinner, that is your choice. >> stephen: whoever i want. okay, thank you so much. hey,y,appy thanksgiving!
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>> this has been thanksgiving turkey tips with our friends at butterball. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: we'll be right back
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( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest was the host of "nightline" for 25 years and is one of the most respected journalists of our time. please welcome ted koppel. ( applause ) >> 50 shows, has jon ever worn the same suit twice? >> stephen: no, i don't think he has worn the same shoes twice. you have won eight peabody awards, 11 overseas press club awards, 42 emmys, you have been managing editor of the discovery channel and news analyst for bbc america, a commentator right now on npr. as someone who is been in journalism for a long time, what do you think of the state of today's journalism? how is it doing?
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the form of a list of 17 cats that look like world leaders. >> well, we've got mao tse-tung, we've look, the state of journalism... we are so fragmented now, we have so much journalism. everyone is in competition for a tiny little fragment of the audience. and whereas 30 or 40 years ago we used to be in competition to try and give people the news that they need, now we're in competition to give people the news that they want. and people like you end up doing more serious studies of serious subjects, in a funny way, than news people. >> stephen: trying to get me fired, ted? >> no! hell, no. >> stephen: well, you've done a serious study in your new book, it's called "lights out." >> we are about to determine whether the colbert bump still works. >> stephen: oh. ( cheers and applause ).
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much like-- much like samantha on "bewitched" would only use her witchcraft when she absolutely needed to, tonight i'm invoking the colbert bump for ted koppel's book. >> yes! >> stephen: we're taking the bump out of cold storage. "lights out." this is about the power grid or the hackability of america's power grid. >> it is. >> stephen: before we get started, when we say power grid, what do we mean? is there one grid of power across the united states? >> no, there are three power grids. we've got the eastern interconnect, which goes from the east coast past chicago. more than 100 million people are covered by it. texas has its own power grid, the west coast has its own power. >> stephen: wait a second. texas has its own power grid? what are they planning, ted? >> texas has its own power grid. >> stephen: they're ready to cut us loose at any moment. so what could happen? you mean, someone could hack the power grid? how would they do that? >> not someone. the chinese could, the russians could. they are already in the power grid.
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have 3,200 power companies in this country. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> we have to maintain the perfect balance between the amount of electricity that is generated, and the amount of electricity that is used. only the internet can do that. the internet cannot be perfectly defended, so the internet is vulnerable, our power grid is vulnerable. the chinese could take it out. the russians could take it out. they probably won't, but iran is getting better at it. north korea is getting better at it. and most dangerous of all, isis. they have the money, you know. while we are worrying about all of these terrible threats, things like what happened in paris, the greatest danger of all is that they can attack our infrastructure without ever coming. >> stephen: so what is the nightmare scenario? power grid goes down, let's say the whole eastern power grid goes down. how long are we talking? >> up to months. could be months.
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of people without electricity for a period of months. it is-- it is beyond imaginable. >> stephen: so it would be restoring us to a 19th century economy. should i buy a butter churn, ted koppel? >> that's not a bad idea. if i were you, i would also buy a whale oil lamp. >> stephen: i already have a whale bone corset. so, what can be done? are there any answers in here, or is this just something to make me so panicked that i read it and set myself on fire? what is-- are there answers in here? >> there are a couple of suggestions in there. what i'm really hoping, stephen, we're in the middle of a political campaign, right? this is an issue that needs to be discussed. it shouldn't be a democratic issue, it shouldn't be a republican or conservative or liberal issue. if we can get people to talk about it, we're creative people. we will find answers. >> stephen: is there a candidate
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year who you think cares or is willing to bring up something like infrastructure? >> well, jim webb in fact brought it up at one of the debates and we all know what happened to jim webb. >> stephen: uh-huh. what happened to jim webb is that we no longer know what is happening to jim webb. >> that's exactly right. >> stephen: it's too bad. he is a good man. but okay, you have covered every presidential election since 1964. what do you make of this one? >> well, i'm going to resort to that great statesman winston churchill who once said "the americans will always end up doing the right thing. but only after they have exhausted every other possibility." ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, i certainly hope you're right. ted, thank you so much. >> thank you. >> stephen: ted koppel's book, "lights out" is available now wherever books are sold. and it just got the colbert bump.
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karl, don't you have friends coming over? yeah, so? it stinks in here. you've got to wash this whole room are you kidding? wash it? let's wash it with febreze. for all the things you can't wash, use... ...febreze fabric refresher whoa hey mrs. webber inhales hey, it smells nice in here and try pluggable febreze... continuously eliminate odors for... ...up to 45 days of freshness pluggable febreze and fabric refresher... ...[inhale + exhale mnemonic]...
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is that coffee? yea, it's nespresso. i want in. you're ready. get ready to experience a cup above. is that coffee?
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>> stephen: here with the song "tropics," ladies and gentlemen, my morning jacket. ( applause ) >> tropics off the map through the glass ceiling on the right path out of body for the first time in a long time
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window to another world worked all day worked all night gettin' nowhere drove all day drove all night gettin' nowhere out of print threw caution to the wind window to another world >> tropics off the map through the glass ceiling on the right path out of body for the first time in a long time
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heart of progress
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>> in suspended animation on the same page tastes change frame by frame erase traces of the past do the math repeats itself best of friends until the end if given the chance the silent observer
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watching always ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> stephen: the album, "waterfalls" is available right now, my morning jacket,
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