tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 25, 2016 10:35pm-11:38pm MDT
she was right over there. since then i found myself in the middle of an online conspiracy theory. as you may know many of hillary clinton's opponents have been questioning whether or not she was healthy enough to be president. so when she was here i challenged her to see if she was strong enough to open a jar of pickles. she did it. and thousands, maybe millions, are convinced that i somehow rigged the pickle jar. one of those peel alex jones high find very entertaining. he is one of those guys who believes big foot is responsible for 9/11. he believes everything. he applied his investigative powers to a pickle jar that he believes was loosened. >> there is no pop when she opens it. she acts like she has to turn it all the way around. like she's opening a can of peanut butter. but anyone who has opened a
vegetables, tomatoes, garlic, olives, whether it be pickled fruit, knows there is a pop. you don't turn around it. you can't open a captain pickles that way. you pressure down and pop it open and then unscrew it. no pop. she acts like it pops at the end. this is fake. >> i agree. this is a canned conspiracy. this video, d minutes he calls it a pickle can like 30 times. do they even sell pickles in a can? and that was not the end of. this it went on. >> first let's show it blown up. and then in slow motion. here it is.
that's not how you open a can of pickles. >> jimmy: right. only a maniac would open a captain pickles. if you ever feel bad about your job, there is a grown man who spent a full seven minutes yelling about me and a pickle jar on television. let's say we did loosen the jar. what does opening pickles even prove? i have to imagine one of perks of being president is you never to have open pickles again. probably not even allowed. to after studying the video to the physical part of his investigation. >> i'm going to show you again. can we zoom in to show people what she did. she claims she went around. she does this whole fake like she's straining. let me company hillary clinton real quick. give me a wide shot. i'm making a bernie sanders sound. going in a big circle.
[ groaning ] like that. they come off with pressure. >> jimmy: what the hell is going on here? i mean, seriously. [ applause ] there are people in the pickle industry who won't devote this much time and energy to talking about pickles. i feel like it is only a matter of time before the jar gets subpoenaed. and i asked if they had any video of the pickle jar backstage. this might shed some light on the situation. >> are you sleeping? >> no, no. >> i need you to do me a favor. very important. hillary clinton will be here in a little while. tonight on the show i'm going to ask her to open this pickle jar to see if she's strong enough to be president. i need you to guard this.
nobody taps it. all that of it is very important. it must not be tampered with in any way. i'm counting on you. the future of this country could depend on this jar. >> okay, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. >> jimmy: did you just eat a pickle [ chewing sounds ] >> i love pickles. >> jimmy: why, you little pickle monster! this is why trump wants to build a wall. i don't want to make a joke. the stakes are very high and clearly alex jones has put a great deal of thought into this subject.
watching over us. i have something to say. can you get in real close? you just had to keep digging, didn't you, alex. the man was so simple. all she had to do was open a jar of pickles and the white house would be all ours. mine and hers. we had it all worked out. this went all the way up to vlassic. but you couldn't leave it alone with your twisting and your popping and your poking your nose where it shouldn't be poking. you blew the lid right off our pickle can. you just couldn't stop. it stops now. i'm afraid this little game is over, alex. now that you had to open your big mouth. i have no choice but to kill these pickles. the juice of these pickles is out, alex jones. [ laughter ]
the new world order sends its regards. that's right. we staged the pickle jar stunt. i guess we should stage we staged the donald trump running for president stunt. by the wearing i would like to point out he has publicly failed to even open a single jar of pickles. he was in tampa yesterday when he unveiled his latest and greatest tike hillary clinton. >> the only people enthusiastic about her campaign are hollywood celebrities, in many cases, celebrities that aren't very hot anymore. >> from the sitcom happy days, scott baio.
celebrities news, there are reports that ryan lochte might be on the list for the new season of "dancing with the stars." nobody tell minimum stars are another word for celebrities. he thinks he gets on dance in outer space. that should be interesting. i don't know about the fox trot but i bet he'll be great at the back pedal. [ cheers and applause ] we should say, it is kind of reassuring to know whenever a career, "dancing with the stars" is always there to mess it up a little more. speaking of abc stars, kerry washington who is beloved, on scandal, also nominated for an emmy playing anita hill in the confirmation right now, and there's buzz that she might get nominated for an oscar, too, for her role in a very scary new
[ phone buzzing ] [ screaming ] >> group text. you'll never get off. >> i love that. [ cheers and applause ] >> we have to take a break. when we come backer we did some very sneaky with sneakers. we went on the street and showed people what we claimed were the new kanye west easies. they were not that but we have that. and this week's unnecessary
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. natalie portman, usher raymond iv. starting on sunday in the middle of the nevada desert, the burning man festival lights up again. burning man, if you don't know, is the festival that answers the question, what is it like to do paote in 110 degrees? if you are thinking of going,
if you have a lighter, some old wicker furniture and headlights. it will be hot. 88 degrees. the weather has been very harsh this summer. this is a report from the nbc station in ft. wayne, indiana. it is a cautionary tale about what happens when the meteorologists and director are not on the same page. >> that looks like a tornado. if i can get it superimposed on top of this. we have ourselves tell him to pan back to the right. pan back to the right. pan back to the right. we're missing the wall cloud is to the right. right in there. that is our wall cloud. that's what we're looking for. this is what we're seeing, this is the wall cloud. if we can stay, tell them to stay right in the middle. we're missing it again. this is where the wall cloud is. don't zoom in. that's not anything. this isn't any type of rotating scud.
tornado. if they can zoom back out, that would be great. we have a tail cloud at the tail end over there. the tornado, the fun cloud. they're going the wrong direction once again. >> a funnel cloud. i would watch 40 episodes of that show. hey, this is a busy time for kanye west. in indianapolis, he kicked off his new tour. it is called the i don't want to keep one the so i'm going on the road tour. in addition to the tour, kanye and adeedas are releasing a new line. this is for toddlers and infants. the yoift boost 350. for babies it will cost $130 which is a lot to pay for a person who doesn't know how to walk yet. but these shoes are the most expensive item your child will ever fill with apple sauce. every time kanye releases new once, they sell out in minutes.
can have a chance. people sleep outside to get them. if you're lucky enough to get a pair, they're $300 but you can sell them to ebay for four times price. swoe the news of a new shoe coming out. we wanted to give fans a sneak peek at the even the newer boost. the only catch is there's no such thing as the boost. we showed people a pair of sneakers we bought on ebay for $13.50 will the fans catch on to that when we give them a sneak peek to the new shoes? the answer is no. >> kanye west is launching a new line of shoes. we wanted to get your opinion. >> i love shoes. i'm a shoes guy. you know? i'm a dancer. >> tell us what you love about
classic. >> i really like them. the look is fancy. i like the accents here. >> it age too much. it has that kanye on it. >> these are legit. they're adidas so you can't go wrong there. >> what do you think the laid liz say when they see you? >> they'll be inviting me over for a house >> leather designed to feel like canvas. >> it really feels lovely. soft and smooth. >> they're first shoes ever made for standing. what do you think? >> i feel like i could stand for a while. >> a wi-fi hot spot into the shoe. if you take your phone out, do you see how it gets better? >> yeah, it does. >> would you wear this shoe?
>> how much would you pay? >> like $300. >> i would go about $699. >> they don't feel like they're a cheap shoe what so ever. >> they don't feel like i bought them from $13 from ebay, do they? >> no. definitely not. >> one thing that makes they will so exclusive is kanye hand picked the children that made >> he did make them in america in. >> they're american children. >> thursday night, it means it is time to bleep and blur the moments. it was this week in unnecessary censorship.
>> it's not a robbery. at that point you're [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> and then you have bill clinton [ bleep ] the attorney general in the back of an air maybe for 39 minutes. >> a can of pickles. >> i didn't want to caress you ask stick my [ bleep ] down your throat. >> i would be the worst bachelorette ever. i woul immediately. >> i know this would -- you have. >> yes, i did. >> which animal do you think has the biggest [ bleep ]? elephant? >> i [ bleep ] myself. >> the only way you'll know is to try. ? [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: that's robert randolph sitting in with the cletones. he's been with us all week, and you can see him live with zz top, on sunday night, in boston. >> i had too many in and out burgers this week. >> jimmy: how many did you have? >> i'm not sure. >> jimmy: it's dangerously close to the theater. you have to be really, really careful. tonight, he's a singer and an actor too, he plays sugar ray leonard in the new movie ?hands of stone?, usher raymond the fourth is here. when he's a singer, he's usher. when he acts, he's usher raymond the fourth. and so far, everybody loves usher raymond iv. that's for sure. then later, this is his single. it's called ?little bit more.? jid yenna. >> jimmy: next week on the show, we have quite a week, we will be visited by terrence howard, terry bradshaw, zooey deschanel, aaron eckhart, wolf blitzer, ben stein, will be here
glass animals, nathaniel rateliff and the night sweats, yg and bonnie raitt. no, yg and bonnie raitt will not be appearing together. that will be a lot of fun. >> jimmy: our first guest is the rare oscar-winner who is just as comfortable around a wookie as she is in ballet slippers. she is the writer, director and star of the new movie ?a tale of love and darkness?, it is in theaters now. please welcome natalie portman. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is your first time here. >> it's kind of shocking. >> jimmy: you just moved to los angeles. right? >> yes. >> jimmy: from paris. is that a little bit of a shock to move to l.a. from paris? >> yeah. everyone smiles a lot here. >> jimmy: is that right?
they're more, they're very -- cool. >> jimmy: does that bum you out or do you get used to it after a while? >> you get -- i didn't realize that i got used to it until i got here and i was so surprised when like, you get in an elevator and someone starts a conversation. and they're so nice. someone would smile at my child. and i would be like, what a good >> jimmy: you wandered into a land of laker girls or something. everybody has a grin on their face. why do you think it is? is there a cultural thing? is it sadness? is it considered rude to be friendly to others? based on my experience is yes, it does seem like that is the case. >> there's a lot of, i feel like they're very -- a lot of rules of politeness and codes of behavior. >> jimmy: wow! >> there, that you have to
here. >> jimmy: yeah. it's really loose here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: maybe a little too loose here. >> we feel like making the person next to you comfortable. you smile at them because you want them to feel good. >> jimmy: how long did it take to you learn the rules? >> i haven't learned all of them. i'm sure. a friend of mine taught me when you go in some place, you have to say bon js jour before you go anywhere else. and then wait two seconds before you say anything else. can't say do you have this in another size? or they'll think you're super rude and then they'll be rude to you. but if you're like, hi, do you have this in another size? sure. i'll help you. >> jimmy: it is like talking to siri in a way. make sure you got her attention and then go from there. how old is your son? >> 5. >> jimmy: 5 years old. so is french his primary
>> jimmy: has he seen you in star wars yet? >> he has not but he knows about it, of course. it's kind of a shame. when i made it, i was like, this is going to be the coolest thing one day when i have kids. i can show them. and boys, of course, are obsessed with it and know all about it before they've seen it. then i realize, i die in the movies. so it's kind of a scary thing to show your kid. >> jimmy: yeah, it's scares him. it's worse if he likes it. you can't show him black swan either, i guess. that's very strange. that's something else. >> jimmy: and you're adjusting? everything is okay now? he goes to school? all of those things? >> yeah. everything. >> jimmy: i want to talk about your movie. i saw that you had some very great reviews from the "l.a.
peter travers. is that something, this is the first movie you ever directed, wrote, produced, did you everything. craft services, the catering. is that something you want to see what people are saying or do you put it out of your head? >> i try not to look. i tend to believe the worst stuff the most. and i feel like it actually does kind of stop me from doing stuff. brave. trying things. so i try to stay away. of course, people-the worst is if someone is like, don't listen to them. you're like, i don't know -- >> jimmy: do you have people that say that to you? >> totally. >> jimmy: those people should be out of your life, by the way. >> they think they're being nice. i loved it. they're wrong. >> jimmy: are these french people over there or are these americans? >> this was great. the people were -- i didn't look
congratulations. it's so nice what they wrote. so that was a nice feeling. >> jimmy: we'll take look at the movie and we have a surprise for the audience when they see the chip. it is not exactly what we expect from natalie portman. it is in theaters. it is "a tale of love and darkness." ? attention parents! get to kohl's now for great savings on all the denim your kids want!
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>> it is my first language. i was born in jerusalem. i moved here when i was 3 and my mom is american. my hebrew stayed at that level so i had to get it up. >> i would like to test all my friends who went to hebrew school. >> i feel like everyone knew how to read torah and didn't unrstand what they were saying. >> so now you flipped it. and the little what is his name? >> amir. >> jimmy: explain who he was. >> one of the great writers and peace activists in israel. this is the story of his childhood and how he and his mother created all these stories together. and she kind of helped inspire his imagination. >> jimmy: how old were you when you started acting? >> i was 11. >> jimmy: do you feel like you
do you feel more equipped to communicate with a child actor? >> yeah. i think i always got to feel like i was playing when i was working so i want to krcreate tt for him. i was a weird kid. i was a little adult. i remember when i was 13, i was on a set and the actor i was working with was smoking. and i took his cigarettes and broke the whole pack. and my mom was like, no, no, no. for you. she's like no. >> who was the actor that you did that to in. >> man, it's so long ago. >> jimmy: was the guy happy? >> not at all. not at all. he was not amused. >> jimmy: so when you're working with a young boy like this, do you break his cigarettes? >> basically. >> jimmy: i tried on make it fun
and there were certain things that i picked up from other directors that i had worked with. i worked anthony when i was younger. and he used to switch lines to sort of surprise you, to provoke you. there is a scene when he is supposed to run out and be really excited about his garden. and after two, three takes, the spontaneity goes out for a kid. and so i would have the actor opposite him be like, there is an ice cream truck outsid >> jimmy: but then is there an ice cream truck outside? >> no. he gets excited -- >> jimmy: so that really only works once, huh? it is very impressive. congratulations. the movie is called "the tale of love and darkness." natalie portman, everyone. we'll be right back with usher raymond iv. eyes shouldn't express your age, they should express how you feel.
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you really captured him, by the way. >> thank you. >> jimmy: he is one of my all time favorite athletes. i really enjoyed seeing you in that movie. the movie for those who don't know is about the life of roberto, of course, sugar ray and guerin had two great fights. >> three. >> jimmy: well, three fights. the last one wasn't -- they weren't exactly in their prime. is that smug remember? do you have any memory time? >> sugar ray leonard, he represented the movement of the sport. for someone to look like he did, and does. >> jimmy: he still looks exactly -- >> 60 years old, still incredible. as a boxer, he is a statement. >> jimmy: has he seen the film? >> he did see the film. as a matter of fact, at the premier, while everybody else was looking at the screen, i
the whole time to get his reaction. so the sex scene comes up. yes! >> jimmy: he liked it. [ cheers and applause ] >> with his wife, fyi. >> jimmy: with his wife. the sex scene was with his wife. i don't know if he was in the theater alone or what. did you train for the sex scene? >> i had a n lead up to it. >> jimmy: how long did you take -- >> for the sex scenes? >> jimmy: how long did it take you? >> i trained for a year of boxing. you know, in preparation, i really wanted to understand what it was to think, move and feel like boxer. i had to lose about 20, 25 pounds. i ate for my blood type. for the most part i really wanted to get it. you can play any sport but you can't play boxing.
windmill. i remember thinking that was the greatest thing i had ever seen when i was a kid. did you learn to jump rope for this movie? or did you know how to do that beforehand? >> i mean, i knew how to jump rope. but so you understand, jumping rope is an art form that is really great if you're good at it as boxer. and some guys are a lot more nice than others. it is something that i really worked on. >> you brought some -- are these real jump ropes? we have to get you a better jump rope than this. this is a 99 cent jump rope. will you jump rope? >> i can jump rope. i thought would you want to talk about the film but i'll jump rope. >> jimmy: take everything off. >> everything?
pants, jewelry. no, no, no. don't worry, guillermo, you're the only one who takes his pants off for the show. ? >> part of the process is being great at i. you have to get it going. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! that's something else. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have to get your jewelry back on. can you jump the jewelry? can you jump the necklace? >> no. >> jimmy: i want to congratulate you. i know you're part owner of the cleveland cavaliers and you won your -- can i tell you something? he know you're breathing a little bit. i kind of forgot that you were part owner.
mind. during the celebration, that guy looks just like usher. what is he doing up there? >> 11 years later. it turned into an incredible one night. >> jimmy: one night. >> that champagne shower was incredible. >> jimmy: oh, you were part of the champagne shower. did you wear goggles? or did you go au naturale? >> i wore goggles. wear scuba gear. don't even have a champagne shower. if you do, do it next time of you may want to do it next year. >> i think we should win next year, too. >> do people ask you for tickets all the time? >> oddly, i get more asked for my concerts.
concert tickets. people are going to ask for box seats. speaking of your music career, you have something to announce. was that like four years ago? >> four years ago i put an album out. now after some ups, some downs -- >> jimmy: you're really winded from jumping rope, are not you? >> i was overdoing it. my new album goes -- >> jimmy: this is your new album? is that you? september 16. is that a bust of you? >> it is. by daniel. >> jimmy: you need a little bit of some kind of proactive or something. wow! so it's coming out soon. next month. that you've given us.ncement >> yes.
>> jimmy: thanks to natalie portman, usher, apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, here with the song ?little bit more?, jidenna! ? are you ever gonna you should make up your mind take you back to my shrine ? ? and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night
how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? yeah, i got the feelin' you've been here before ? ? you needed tonight like a weekend ago ? ? yeah, you in or you out or you playin' or foldin' we in need of a moment ? ? are we ever gonna you should make up your mind take you back to my shrine ? ? don't you pay them no mind let them be, let them go ? ? she was made for my eyes we escape at times and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know
? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? yeah, the party gets shallow the deeper we go telling you secrets that you shouldn't know ? ? yeah, i feel like it's just you and me on the floor we in need of a moment ? ? a we ever gonna you should make up your mind take you back to my shrine ? ? don't you pay them no mind let them be, let them go ? ? she was made for my eyes we escape at times and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need
? oh oh oh oh hey hey hey hey just a little bit more ? ? oh oh oh oh ? wahala she no dey give me wahala she no dey give me i don' want you plenty, plenty ? ? i don' want you plenty plenty, oh me, oh my ? ? plenty, plenty, oh nah plenty, plenty, oh me, oh my plenty, plenty, oh nah ? ? plenty, plenty and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night and a little bit more ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night they don't know how you like it ? ? i'm gonna need a whole night and i'ma need the whole night
? olual uweaway uweaway ? ? no, the chief don't run the chief don't, no the chief don't run ? ? ? before the red cups and the backwoods smoke me and mom in the shack in the woods, bro ? ? i was sleepin' on the floor with the oven door open ? ? while i dreamt about the places that i would go ? ? we would go door to door to door all day we were begging 'em to lay up in the foyer ? ? i was sittin' with the hookers in a motel hallway waiting onna blind audition like it's broadway ? ? no these madams looking like a fleet of foxes rat pack chief of staff like sinatra ?
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