tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC March 30, 2011 3:05am-4:00am PDT
-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] crazy new york city crowd right up. hey, everybody. thank you for coming. welcome -- welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." hey -- [ cheers ] today was the second day of spring. yeah -- [ cheers and applause ] you can always tell because the weather gets a little warmer, the flowers start blooming, and i start wearing tube tops around the office again. [ light laughter ] it's just so exciting. [ scattered cheers ] some big tech news, you guys. big tech news. after at&t bought t-mobile this week, at&t customers are worried the merger will make the network even slower. [ light laughter ] but good news, at&t customers, that's not even possible. [ laughter ] impossible. [ applause ] now way that could happen. everyone's been following march madness, but it's been a few days without any games.
it's been so boring, president obama said he actually wants to focus on situations in libya and japan. [ laughter ] -- there's no games to watch. speaking of libya, moammar gadhafi is said to be hiding out in a series of underground tunnels. that's basically admitting you're evil, right? [ laughter ] i mean, no one -- no one every goes, "i'm innocent of all charges. now, if you need me, i'll be hiding out in a series of underground tunnels." [ light laughter ] check this out, a new study found that many woodwind and brass instruments used by high school bands are contaminated with bacteria. so remember kids, always practice safe sax. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i was just reading about this, in a new interview, martin sheen says he knows what his son charlie sheen is going through. when asked what that is, he said, "lots of drugs and porn stars." [ laughter ]
i just saw this, new york city has a new service that let's you fight a parking ticket online. and this is nice, to make you feel like you're talking to a real clerk, your computer will spend the whole time chewing gum and talking to a friend on the phone. it's just like -- [ laughter ] -- great, the computer is ignoring me, just like the person would. listen to this, the federal government may soon cut the number of passengers allowed on city buses because americans have gotten heavier. i'm confused, if heavy people want transportation that's big, slow and has to stop every five seconds, why don't they just walk? [ laughter ] [ applause ] and finally over the weekend, mark zuckerberg changed his relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship." [ audience oohs ] yeah, and that girl just changed her relationship status to, "ca-ching!"
[ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we have a fun, fun show tonight, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching us. our pal, nbc news anchor, the number one man, brian williams is here! [ cheers and applause ] we love it when he's here. perennial nba all-star, dwight howard of the orland magic will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we got music from the one and only richard ashcroft, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be great. ladies and gentlemen, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros & cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ]
♪ >> jimmy: tonight's topic is, spring break. [ boing ] [ light laughter ] that's right. it's that time of year again. lots of college kids going buck wild on the beach right now. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of spring break. here we go. pro, it's drinking, it's partying, it's hooking up. con, it's exactly like any other day of college. [ laughter ] pretty much. pro, you've been hitting the books hard and now it's time to relax on the beach. con, and have your friends write, "penis patrol," on your chest with sun block. all good times. pro, we're in mexico. shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. con, we're in mexico. gary just got shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. [ laughter and applause ] -- two beers and leave. pro, you can get super drunk and embarrass yourself because, hey, no one will remember anything
any way. con, you have been tagged in 354 photos on facebook. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] not good. that's not good. pro, appearing on mtv's "spring break." con, 9 months later appearing on mtv's "16 and pregnant." [ laughter and ohs ] [ scattered applause ] pro, you and your bro stumbling back to the safety of your hotel room and passing out. con, waking up and going, "did we?" [ laughter ] that doesn't happen. [ boing ] [ laughter ] pro, you finished third in a wet t-shirt contest. con, in the amateur man boobs division. [ laughter ] hey, a win is a win. a win is a win. and finally, pro, you get to party all day and all night with no responsibilities. con, it's like being a kardashian for a week.
[ cheers and applause ] that's the "pros & cons," everybody! we'll be right back with more "late night." come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ host: could switching to geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? host: do dogs chase cats? ♪ 70's era music sfx: tires squealing ♪ 70's era music sfx: tires squealing vo: geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
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"late night hashtag." here we go. now, earlier today, i went on twitter and i started a hashtag called, "that was awkward." for example i tweeted out, "clive davis motions to me, i lean over and kiss him on the cheek, he only wanted to whisper something in my ear." that is a true story. [ light laughter ] it was a crowded restaurant. some hip restaurant in manhattan like minetta tavern, or something. i see clive davis and go, "hi." and he goes -- i said, "how you doin?" and he goes like -- and i think like "the godfather" or something. and i went down and he went like -- come here, come on, give me some sugar i thought. and -- [ laughter ] i just leaned in and was like -- [ smooches ] [ laughter ] and everybody at the table was like, "what?" [ laughter ] he was like, "how you do? your show is very good." i was like, oh, okay, that's all he wanted to tell me. i'm like, "i'm sorry i just kissed you on the cheek." but, anyways -- this is where you guys some in.
go on twitter. tweet out something awkward or embarrassing that has ever happened to you and make sure to include the hashtag, #thatwasawkward. i'll look at all of them tonight and put some of my favorites on the show tomorrow night, so tune in. [ cheers and applause ] you might see your tweet on the show. [ applause ] everyone, i am so excited right now. coming up is my favorite game. [ light laughter ] this game is amazing. if you like carpets and you like samples, you're going to love this. it's what we call "the wheel of carpet samples!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] let's give it up for tonight's lucky contestants. come on over.
♪ >> jimmy: welcome, welcome you guys. how does it feel to be contestants on "wheel of carpet samples"? >> awesome. >> so excited. >> jimmy: awesome and great. >> little nervous. >> jimmy: real nervous? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, very, very good. [ light laughter ] incase you don't know the rules, here's a quick refresher. on this wheel we have dozens of carpet samples. only the best varieties of course. we've got, velvet sunset. sandy camel, nuget illusion, [ light laughter ] dapper frog and, of course, we have tonight's mystery sample. [ eerie music ] that's right. we have the mystery sample. questlove, can you tell us what tonight's mystery sample is? >> questlove: tonight's mystery sample is -- beige. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hi, there, what's your name and where are you from? >> i'm grace from doylestown, pennsylvania. >> jimmy: welcome grace from pennsylvania. audience, are you ready to help me out? let's
spin-that-wheel-of-carpet- samples! [ cheers and applause ] all right, go ahead. give it a good spin. there she is. watch out. i don't want to get rug burn. [ laughter ] here it goes. where it lands, nobody knows. oh -- electric smurf! you got it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] here you go. you landed on electric smurf, which means your score is 2,476. [ lighting ] uh-oh, you know what that sound means? it's time for the lightening round. which means, it's time for a carpet sample fun fact. >> announcer: carpet sample fun fact fa andrew jackson was borin 1757. . >> jimmy: keep that in mind. thank you so much. [ laughter ] scoot down that way. contestant number two, come on over. how you doing my friend? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: nice to see you. what is your name and where are you from? >> i'm dan from allentown, pennsylvania. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. i heard they're closing all the factories down? >> yeah, they are. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ]
>> jimmy: dan, do you know the game, marry, screw, kill? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i give you three names and you have to say who you'd marry, who you'd screw and who you'd kill. all right? so, marry, screw, kill, the animaniacs. who would you marry, who would screw, who'd you kill among yakko, wakko and dot. >> i would marry the girl, dot. [ light laughter ] i would -- [ laughter ] wait -- all right then. i would screw the little one. [ boing ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry, that's incorrect, that's incorrect. the correct answer was kill all three. they're cartoon animals, you sicko. you're a sick dude. [ cheers and applause ] all right, she's got 2,476 points, which is the most you could possibly get. you think you can top it? >> i hope so. >> jimmy: here we go -- let's spin-that-wheel-of-carpet-
samples! go for it my man. give it a decent spin. [ drum roll ] very nice. very controlled spin. where it ends, no one knows. but a lot of people care. oh! infinite seahorse! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ infinite seahorse. you know what that means? let's put three seconds on the clock. you know how it works, when i say, "go," you have to name as many things as you possibly can. ready? go! >> seahorses, carpet samples, seahores and more carpets samples and boxes. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: ah, sorry. sorry, you forgot llama. we were looking -- we were looking for llama. there it is. there's a drawn llama. here you go. your score is 18,557. please set to the back of that line. contestant number three. here he is. what's going on my friend? [ cheers and applause ] >> it's going good. it's going good. on the show. >> jimmy: you're on the show. here you are. what is your name and where are you from? >> my name is tunnel from the bay area, oakland, california.
[ slide whistle ] >> jimmy: do you know what that sounds means? it's time for a word from our sponsor. please enjoy this never before seen director's cut of the tootsie roll pop commercial. >> mr. owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? >> let's find out. one, two-o, three -- [ crunch ] three. >> are you [ bleep ] serious? [ laughter ] what the [ bleep ]. you just bit it. you didn't even lick it. [ bleep ] >> how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? [ crunch ] the world may never know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, contestant number three. it is time to spin-that-wheel-of-carpet- samples. that's what i'm talking about. go for it my man. very nice. very smooth motion. this is fantastic. uh-oh. oh, i got a feeling.
fuzzy walnuts! ♪ fuzzy walnuts. now, this is one of the closest matches in a long and storied history of "wheel of carpet samples." questlove, who is tonight's winner? [ drum roll ] >> questlove: tonight's winner of "wheel of carpet samples" is -- contestant number two. >> jimmy: hey, you won! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you won a brand new carpet sample. look at this. it kind of goes with your sweater, this is fantastic. [ laughter ] it's almost like camouflage, no one will even know you have a carpet sample. this is genius. sorry guys, you did not win. so, you're a bunch of losers. i'll take this from you. please, be nice. so sorry about this, you guys. you did not win. but, no one goes home empty-handed here on "wheel of carpet samples," so each of you are getting a $300 gift certificate to the apple store. >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: here you go. sorry you didn't win. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] spend it on whatever you want. congratulations, you are the big winner, my man.
got yourself a carpet sample. do you know what you're gonna do with it? >> i'm gonna sit on it. >> jimmy: there you go! [ laughter ] he's gonna sit on it. i'm just kidding, we have a gift certificate for you too, my friend. thank you for playing. hey, you guys, that's all the time we have. see you next time on, "wheel-of-carpet-samples." we'll be right back with brian williams. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] just how irresistible is new kellogg's crunchy nut? you won't want to wait 'til morning to eat it. ♪ [ beep ] ♪ ♪ the perfect blend of sweet and nutty in every irresistible bite. new kellogg's crunchy nut. go ahead, it's morning somewhere.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everyone. our first guest is the emmy and peabody award-winning anchor and managing editor of the "nbc nightly news," which has been the number one newscast for six years running. please welcome back to our show our good friend, mr. brian williams! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we love having you on the show. thank you. >> i realize the tribute that represents. >> yes, you are the first guest to get their original song created by the roots for you. >> oh, it's unbelievable. >> jimmy: yeah, we're big fans of you over here, clearly. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for always having me. >> jimmy: yeah -- oh, please. you were just in egypt, right? >> it seems like yesterday afternoon, and yet, of course, it's been weeks and several crises ago. but yeah, richard engel and i were like on a hotel balcony doing play-by-play of a gun battle all night on cable. the secret police in the hotel --it was off the hook for a while. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't understand. you have a beautiful family. do you worry about this?
does it concern you? you have the emergency suitcase packed and ready to go right in your office? >> but this is the life we've chosen, as a great man once said. my family -- my wife and i have been married 25 years. she was a tv producer before we got married. look, my kids hate it when they see the bag. i can't lie to you. but they have grown up that way, whether it was packing for summer vacation and instead i go to katrina or whether it's iraq or afghanistan and dangerous places. that's part of the deal. and part of me sitting here, i'm thinking of our people in tripoli and benghazi and part of me would like to be in libya right now. there's a -- once you've done it and you know all our correspondents in the field, you want to be there with them. and you want to be on this story. >> jimmy: it's crazy at this time, right now. i think -- am i counting wrong? are we in three wars? >> we're in three. it's early yet. we've got some time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, what is happening? can you take me through -- like -- >> so you got your iraq winding down. you got your afghanistan nobody
loves, and the greatest americans we've ever fielded are over there. you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> staff sergeants making no money at all, getting a combat bonus, supporting a family back home, slogging through it, and then we have fired, as of today, 162 cruise missiles from mostly u.s. navy ships and submarines offshore. so while they are not fighting on the ground, remember this is fuelers, pilots, all those deckhands, all those men and women working on all those ships. aircraft fueling them up. there is a lot of people engaged in this third front. >> jimmy: have we ever seen anything like this in our country? >> we haven't been this busy. i don't think our military's been at this busy a footing. >> jimmy: it's insane. and our goal for this libya thing is so that kadafi -- or gadhafi -- is there a real thing? >> you know, pick one. >> jimmy: pick one? >> yeah, we have a couple spellings. i've gone with the "g." i've gone with the "kh." gone with just the "k." >> jimmy: "haddafi?" >> never that.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, never -- won't try that one. >> but, yeah, the goal can't be to take him out. he's not a target. the pentagon briefer said last sunday, "look, if he happens to be in a building that we hit -- you know?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "if it was me -- i don't know. i don't remember anything." because that is just insane, i think, with all of that going on. and it feels like to me, that president obama is playing soccer in rio with kids and hillary clinton seems to be weirdly stepping up, almost like she's being very presidential, i feel like. isn't it weird? >> it might be a bit unfair. he -- you've got to remember, jimmy, the machinery of the presidency, a lot like when you travel, the machinery of the presidency comes with the president. when you travel, you get the "late night" computer and your paging devices, so that decisions back in new york about guests, musical order can be made by you. the president has scrambled
phones. he's got video conferencing. he's got the three big irishmen in his life, donnellan, brennan and daley, who are part of his inner circle. he's got all of his people. they are all reachable while he may come back early from this trip to south america, i think the command and control -- american people like to see the president in the white house. >> jimmy: but why is he there again? >> this was a trip that -- to have canceled this -- >> jimmy: it costs so much money. >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: he can't get a refund? come on? [ light laughter ] what is going down? he's making ncaa -- doing his brackets on espn. i'm like, "who is advising this man?" >> i think we've seen a little political 'tude coming out tonight. this is interesting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on? a little -- >> i think this is interesting. i've never heard you go into this area before. >> jimmy: i don't usually do it, but i feel like -- i get upset. i go, "what --" i mean, i have better people advising me than the president does. >> actually, i've met your staff. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you're right. >> just one thing to remember.
every cruise missile, about like $1 million, 162 of those, think of what goes into launching each one. >> jimmy: sure, yeah, yeah. target selection, all of that. it's -- >> jimmy: i mean, it's a tough job. it's a crazy job. >> you feel like you have to hang on to something. >> jimmy: i'm always -- i'm very patriotic. i'm always rooting for the president. i just feel like -- i feel like i want to hear from him. >> well this is a tough perception. the white house has to deal with this. because, seriously, if you're saying it and you do hear this across america, it means it's real. and it means they've got to deal with the perception. even though he's with his daughters and they get very little time off, he's down in south america, three country tour, doing all of the official business. i don't work for them. i cover them all equally, democrats, republicans, they've got an appearance issue, if you're saying they do. you have that kind of sway across this country. >> jimmy: exactly. he watches the show all the time. [ light laughter ] you have that -- people laugh at
that. [ laughter ]r afn a million years. they have come all the way to the east coast with the winds around the globe. there's just minuscule traces of radiation, but it's all one planet. it can't go anywhere else. >> jimmy: should we be freaked out as a country? can i eat sushi? >> yes, you can eat sushi. [ light laughter ] everything will be tested. everything will be safe. >> jimmy: you wanna go eat some sushi with me? [ laughter ] >> i can't believe i'm the one reassuring you.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on! we never hang out. we'll get some sushi, some sake, have a good time. >> i've never eaten sushi. i don't eat sushi. i'm allergic to shellfish. so, i would probably go into shock my first time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and i would blame radiation, thinking you had become spiderman or something. [ laughter ] you'd probably turn into a superhero. i appreciate talking about the tough stuff and the news stuff. when you come on our show -- >> i have a blast. >> jimmy: we flowed you on the news. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: we always have fun with that. i love doing that. [ applause ] we give you some fun names. >> yes, you have. and thank you very much for that. [ laughter ] just having a name in life wasn't enough for me -- [ laughter ] -- and a reputation. now, when i walk down fifth avenue, i get to hear "bri-willy," which is fun. >> jimmy: bri-willy. bri-willy's a good name. bri-wi. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then my favorite one that we gave you last week was bri.will.i.am. [ laughter ] >> that's good. >> jimmy: bri.will.i.am. >> the joy you take in it --
[ laughter ] -- is this disturbing to me. >> jimmy: i want to thank you, because you always come on. you always get the laughs and gosh, we love you so much. every single time you come by our studio. >> you have to remember, every time i come here, "nightly news," a few floors away, completely goes on hold. america's leading newscast. [ laughter ] so i can come up here, be called names half the time. [ laughter ] i have to calm down a nation, as i think i've done here tonight. [ laughter ] this one's half way under the desk. >> jimmy: i was worried, and you calmed down a nation. you did. >> i'm worried about you. you need to get out a little bit. it's okay out there. [ laughter ] look at you. you're in a crouch. you're -- [ laughter ] i've never seen you like this. >> jimmy: i'm freaked out. >> you had a week off. you've got everything going for you. you have a fantastic show. you have one of the best bands
in the music business just a few feet away. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and on top of that, i can eat sushi. >> yes. eat up. drink up. go at it. >> jimmy: fantastic. brian williams, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] the "nbc nightly news" airs every night at 6:30 p.m. right here on nbc. brian williams, once again! dwight howard joins us next. come on back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ne [ male announcer ] this is lara. her morning begins with arthritis pain. that's a coffee and two pills. the afternoon tour begins with more pain and more pills. the evening guests arrive. back to sore knees. back to more pills. the day is done but hang on... her doctor recommended aleve. just 2 pills can keep arthritis pain away all day with fewer pills than tylenol. this is lara who chose 2 aleve and fewer pills for a day free of pain. and get the all day pain relief of aleve in liquid gels.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest this evening is one of the elite players in the national basketball association, a five-time all-star and two-time nba defensive player of the year, as well as an olympic gold medal winner. he's here to talk about some of the great charity work he's involved with, and also to discuss this -- his new children's album entitled "shoot for the stars." this guy is one of the coolest out there. please welcome nba superstar dwight howard, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: dwight howard! that's what i'm talking about. you always know how to make a good entrance over here, and i appreciate that. >> oh man, thanks for having me again on the show. >> jimmy: come on, you were here. you were here a year and a half ago, when we were first starting out. >> long time. long time. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, now you are here, you're in town. don't daydream anymore. [ light laughter ] come on, this is happening now. the dream is real. you are here, you're in new york, yep. and you're playing the new york knicks. please be nice. please be nice. [ laughter ] can't you throw the game or can't you sit on the bench? [ light laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: we've lost the past six games, i think. >> it's okay. i promise. >> jimmy: really? >> the knicks are a great team. they're going to be great.
it just takes a while. they just -- they just changed their whole makeup. >> jimmy: yeah. carmelo just came over. >> carmelo -- you have chauncey, amar'e, you know, all these guys are trying to learn to play together and it takes a while. they are going to have these bumps in the road to where they miss a couple of games and then they go on a big winning streak and then they start losing again. it happens. so all the fans from new york, just stay calm. you know, you gotta crawl before you walk and new york is going to be on top one day. >> jimmy: all right. that's good. i appreciate that. >> they're gonna lose wednesday. >> jimmy: come on, you gotta go hard. speaking of you, you are going to become a free agent in 2012. can you come to new york? [ light laughter ] come on. come to new york. this will be fun. [ cheers and applause ] it will be so good. we love you. it would be great. >> i'll come to new york when we play the knicks. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, come on. are you going to stay? are you going to stay at orlando? >> i want to stay. i love orlando. it's a beautiful, beautiful city.
i have a nice two bedroom house there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a studio apartment, i'm sure. that's cool that you're going to stay. because after the whole lebron thing went down, i don't think that ended well for him or for anybody. i mean, even for miami. i guess, yeah, you can't really talk about it, i guess, but did you learn a lesson? what are the nba players talking about? >> i don't think people had a problem with him leaving. i think it was just the way he did it. coming on tv and -- it was like breaking up with your girlfriend on national tv. >> jimmy: it hurts, right? >> yeah, it hurts. i just felt the pain from all of the fans in cleveland. they just saw their hero go to another city. so i was hurt, you know, for the city and hurt just watching lebron have to get up there and do the special, you know, because i could just tell that he was hurt, you know, about leaving cleveland. >> jimmy: who do you think made him do it? like agents and managers people
like that? >> they say it was a crystal ball. he had a crystal ball. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, shook it. turned it upside down. said, "yep." yes or no? the magic eight ball? >> yeah, the magic eight ball. he gave cleveland seven good years of basketball. he put cleveland on the map. i just felt like he just wants a championship. you know, it's not about the money, because he took less money by going to another team. >> jimmy: he just wanted the championship. >> he just wants to win. >> jimmy: interesting. cool. speaking of cool things that you're doing, i love this. look at this record right here. look at this. come on. "shoot for the stars," dwight howard, i love that cartoon. it's great. you've got a super moon out there, super moon fans. [ light laughter ] did you see the super moon, by the way? the super moon was this weekend. [ light laughter ] it was a giant moon. it was a crazy moon. >> no way. >> jimmy: yeah. this past weekend. super moon, google it. >> outside? >> jimmy: outdoors, yes. [ laughter ] >> no, i'm saying like -- you for real?
>> jimmy: it's a real deal thing. it's a crazy thing. >> so the moon was like -- >> jimmy: it was bigger than normal and it was brighter than normal, and e.t. flew over it in a bicycle. [ laughter ] >> i did e.t. >> jimmy: look at this. you're singing on this with all these little kids. i think this is so cool of you to do this. are you a singer? >> well, i used to sing back in the day. back in high school, i was in the choir. >> jimmy: were you really? >> i was. you know, my teammates call me montell jordan. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: montell jordan? "this is how we do it?" ♪ this is how we do it this is how we do it ♪ >> jimmy: do you give a little? do you know any? no? do you know any? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> i don't know how to do it. ♪ >> jimmy: how about you got "day-o" -- you got "day-o" on the album.
>> "day-o," "shout," "jammin'," -- >> jimmy: "hoop, there it is." >> "hoop, there it is." "let's get it started," "abc," -- >> jimmy: you have "you can't touch this." >> "you can't touch this." >> jimmy: i love that. >> i was talking like charles barkley on that song. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: how does charles barkley go? [ as charles barkley ] >> "listen, everybody. listen. [ laughter ] lebron james is the best player to ever play in the nba! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] listen -- listen, duane wade, we do t-mobile commercials together. make your free throws!" [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, you gotta pick up this record. it's good. dwight does all this cool stuff for his charity, his foundation. dwight howard, he's a good man. [ cheers and applause ] when we come back, can we throw a little three point shoot out? when we come back, dwight howard and i are going to have a random object shooting contest. see you after the break. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
dwight howard right here. [ cheers and applause ] we're about to face off in a random object shooting contest. the way the game works is that dwight and i take turns trying to shoot the random objects on this table into that basketball hoop behind me. [ light laughter ] let me show you what objects we're shooting today. we have the last two shamrock shakes in new york city. [ light laughter ] that's right. don't drink it. we got it this afternoon. [ laughter ] we have tourist fanny packs, from a couple of tourists that came to see our show. we have travel "scrabble." travel "scrabble" and we got the gyros from a street truck. gyros. and for the money ball, we have vhs tape reminders with the cord attached and a good movie in here. who knows? it's probably "back to the future" or something awesome like that. this is what we got right here. what do you think, dwight? that's the money ball, by the way. that's two points. >> yeah, uh -- >> jimmy: you're excited. >> yeah, i am, but i don't think we're going to make any. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i definitely will. so let's do this. bring it on.
board. playing it off the board. ♪ all right, come on, you can do this one. >> underhand. [ laughter ] ♪ why is my milkshake still stuck up there? >> jimmy: i'm gonna knock that milkshake out. ♪ [audience ohs ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right, the only way to win is if you lose this one and i sink mine. ♪ >> oh! [audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: for the win! [ cheers and applause ] for the win. [ cheers and applause ] [ sad tuba ] [cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good shot! dwight howard, everybody. give it up for my man. you guys, richard ashcroft performs next. come on back.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we have a great show coming up tomorrow. the creators of south park, as well as the new musical on broadway called, "the book of mormon," trey parker and matt stone will be here. [ cheers and applause ] he was featured in the documentary, "waiting for superman" and he's doing great things for education, geoffrey canada will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] a great guy. and we got music from friendly fires. that's all tomorrow, so join us tomorrow night. [ applause ] but first -- oh, i love this guy. our next guest is a rock and roll superstar who just released his forth solo album, "united nations of sound," the leader singer of the verve. i mean, come on. ♪ bitter sweet symphony
that's life ♪ this guy's insane. [ light laughter ] he's going to perform the single, "are you ready." with a little help from the roots, please welcome richard ashcroft! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ whoo ooh whoo ooh yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready ooh, are you ready for the day ♪ ♪ he's gonna come back down to earth i hope you're gonna pray ♪ ♪ that you're with us as we beam him right up he's got a little place for me in his loving cup ♪ ♪ are you ready ooh, ready to see i'm out here in babylon come out here with me ♪
♪ are you ready yeah, i'm ready oh, are you ready are you ready ♪ ♪ are you ready oh, i'm ready yeah, i'm ready oh, i'm ready ♪ ♪ are you ready are you ready i'm ready to die ♪ ♪ 'cause i've lived a life of sin ♪ ♪ and i heard that us sinners have got a chance with him suicidal, ooh yeah ♪ ♪ deep inside my soul i've been praying there's somewhere else for me to go ♪ ♪ come on people ooh, don't you hear my pain i'm out here in babylon waiting for the day ♪ ♪ i'm ready oh, i'm ready yeah, i'm ready yes, i'm ready ♪ ♪ yes, i'm ready
oh, i'm ready ooh, yes, i'm ready ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm ready are you ready are you ready ♪ ♪ oh, i'm ready 'cause i'll paint the town with blood ♪ ♪ i've been losing so much since i'm feeling love with people ♪ ♪ ah yeah the whole human race i wanna put you in my arms ♪ ♪ and give you a love embrace ♪ jesus sweet, jesus jesus can't you hear ♪ ♪ please don't leave us on our own living here with fear ♪ ♪ i'm ready yes, i'm ready oh, i'm ready i'm ready ♪ ♪ yes, i'm ready oh, i'm ready ooh, i'm ready ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm ready yes, i'm ready yes, i'm ready ♪
and see them live wednesday in new york. visit latenightwithjimmyfallon.com for an exclusive bonus performance. my thanks to brian williams, dwight howard, richard ashcroft! and the greatest band in "late night," the roots, right there, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thank you for watching. have a good night. i hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪