tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC February 18, 2012 12:35am-1:35am PST
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. thank you so much. i feel the love. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. it is friday. it's time to have some fun. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much, everybody. let's get to the news here. >> we love you! >> jimmy: did you guys -- oh, i love you, too. [ cheers and applause ] i love you, sir. [ laughter ] did you guys see this? i heard that yesterday in san francisco, president obama made an unscheduled stop for chinese takeout. yeah. it was weird seeing obama paying for chinese. usually, it's the chinese paying for obama. [ laughter ] you that's why -- that's right. it's interesting to see that. >> steve: opposite day. >> jimmy: yeah, it's been -- it's been a busy week for the president. this week, he attended a fund-raiser hosted by a producer for the soap opera, "the bold and the beautiful."
which explains obama's new slogan, "i'm barack obama. or am i his evil twin, derek?" ♪ [ laughter and applause ] got to put some smize in there. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: hey, guys, this monday is president's day. you guys psyched? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. i plan to spend the day reading up on our presidents and reflecting on the impact that they had on our nation. i'm just kidding. i'm going to watch "teen mom" marathon on mtv, but still -- [ cheers and applause ] -- the presidents would have wanted it that way. some sports news. yesterday, lebron james said it would be fun to play for the cleveland cavaliers again. [ booing ] yeah, cavs fans were like, "seriously? you're a jerk. you're a traitor. and when can you start?" [ laughter and applause ] "that would be cool, man. it'd be awesome. come on back." [ applause ] speaking of basketball, everyone is talking about new york knicks
guard jeremy lin. [ cheers and applause ] well, listen to this. listen to this. a man in california is trying to cash in on the jeremy lin craze by trademarking the term "linsanity." man, i bet jeremy lin finds that linfuriating. [ laughter ] [ applause ] get this. a new study found that using a cell phone can make people more selfish. [ light laughter ] i didn't finish reading about it because i had to use my iphone to buy myself a president's day gift, so i was just like i had to get that. [ light laughter ] you guys hear about this? france is planning to build a theme park inspired by napoleon. [ light laughter ] that's weird. each roller coaster has a sign that says "you must be this short to go on the ride." it's just -- [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: -- very interesting. [ applause ] some travel news. today, air australia stranded
4,000 passengers after filing for bankruptcy. while southwest airlines stranded 4,000 passengers because that's just how they roll. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a new study found that a record high 3% of kids are being home schooled. or as home-schooled kids put it, "three? that's my favorite letter." [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great show tonight! super fun! [ cheers and applause ] first -- first, i just want to show you guys our -- it's our new and improved iphone app right there. it's "jimmy fallon's wake up call." all right. so, you bleep-blorb that guy. it's basically just a clock. [ light laughter ] it's pretty inventive. but you can do any clock you want. there's a cheap motel room one there.
digital tron times. that's pretty cool. but here's the deal. you set the alarm and what happens is i call your phone. so, i virtually call your phone to wake you up is what happens. so, you set the alarm, and you have different calls to choose from. we have 22 new ones just added. if you already have one, this is the update, so -- you set the alarm and it will call and it will be like -- >> you've got wake up call. >> jimmy: you know, something like that. or we got -- this new one's pretty good. [ speaking chinese ] [ laughter ] chinese. chinese, yeah. so, it's chinese wake up call. it's pretty good. but the whole reason i did this whole thing is because -- you know when you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock? what is it? like seven minutes? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: nine minutes or something ridic -- who makes that? >> steve: the man. >> jimmy: screw you! >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i want to make my own snooze, my man. i don't like this. so i did it so you can choose your own snooze. 5, 10, 15, 20, hour, seven hours. [ laughter ]
you can wake up -- [ cheers and applause ] you go, "i want to wake up tomorrow." bang. you wake up tomorrow. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] check it out. it's 99 cents in the app store right now, you guys. "jimmy fallon's wake up call." pick it up. it's pretty fun. you guys, we have a big show tonight. one of the funniest people in the world -- ricky gervais is here! [ cheers and applause ] he's always funny. also on the show tonight, the beautiful and talented thandie newton is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] ooh la la. and we have music from school of seven bells! oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] good show tonight. also, i want to make sure you guys know next week is broadway week here at "late night." we'll be having performances from "how to succeed in business without really trying," "porgy and bess," "ghost." you know the movie "ghost"? >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: they're doing it as a play. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: yeah. and they're debuting it on our show next week. so you can get to see if you like it. i think it's going to be good. "anything goes." that play's going to be here.
and "sister act." all next week. crazy performances. it's good. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you saw it? you liked it? yeah, good. look at this. i've got this new nike fuel thing. nike fuel band? have you guys heard about this? yeah. it's like -- i -- i don't know really what it is. but you press the button -- you press the button, and it says fuel. [ laughter ] and it tells you how much fuel -- how many fuel units. they made up a new unit of measure. [ laughter ] >> steve: like a joule. like some sort of the same -- it's not calories? >> jimmy: i don't know what it is. fuel units. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: so, right now, i'm at -- >> steve: so far you've used -- >> jimmy: yep. >> 1318. >> steve: 1319! >> jimmy: 1319. oh, right there. banging on the desk was one fuel unit. [ light laughter ] 21, 22, 23, 24. let's see what happens. >> fuel. >> steve: whoa! ♪ >> jimmy: let's see how much fuel i can muster up during the show. [ laughter ] anyway -- >> steve: that seems so natural. >> jimmy: you look good tonight. so do you.
you do, too. and you and you and you and you and you and you, and all the way out there. [ cheers and applause ] so good tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? what is it? 1331! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's like a gyroscope or something. do you have yours on? >> questlove: no, i don't know how to do it. >> jimmy: you don't know how to do it? oh, it's easy. i just -- you just put it on. [ laughter ] >> questlove: okay. >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know if there's instructions. >> steve: you wear it. >> jimmy: you wear it, yeah. i mean -- yeah, i mean, arsenio hall should do -- should be the spokesman for this. he'd just be whipping fuel units like -- >> steve: yeah, with a dog pound? yeah. [ laughter ] or -- >> jimmy: dj pauly d. [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ yeah yeah fuel units yeah fuel units here yeah ♪ hey, guys, today is friday. [ cheers and applause ] fuel unit. that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. i check my inbox. i return some e-mails, and, of course, i'll send out thank you
notes. [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind today, so i thought if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out a few of my weekly "thank you notes" right now. is that cool? [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. james, could i get some "thank you note" writing music, please? ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> steve: he's so coy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like he's never been on camera. he says, "hi, mom." >> steve: aww. that's cute. look how cute he is. [ laughter ] look how cute he is! >> jimmy: gosh. >> steve: oh, man. >> jimmy: ridiculous. >> steve: he's a little cutie. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, aroma therapy, for sounding like the place lavender goes to talk about its problems. [ laughter ] >> steve: feeling a little blue. ♪
>> jimmy: thank you, polaroids, for sounding like something a polar bear gets when he sits on his ice hole too long. [ laughter and applause ] ice hole. >> steve: ice. ice. how many? >> jimmy: that's probably two fuel units. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, guy boarding a plane with a guitar, for pretending to be really casual while clearly thinking, "ask me about it. ask me about it. ask me about it. ask me about it. ask --" [ laughter and applause ] getting there. "oh, excuse me. sorry. just got to put this up. it's a gibson 46b. they don't even make these anymore." [ light laughter ] "i started playing when i was 15, but -- i'm going to nashville." [ laughter ] "what's that? you didn't ask me? oh." [ laughter ] "anyways -- not even strings on that thing. you can't put them on. it's too rare." [ light laughter ]
♪ thank you, the letter y, for looking like the letter t if it just landed a successful gymnastic dismount. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] very nice. ♪ thank you, glenn close and the oscar nominated film "albert nobbs," for showing us what would happen if conan o'brien had a baby with charlie chaplin. [ cheers and applause ] "albert nobbs." she's great in it. >> steve: yeah, she's great in it. [ applause ] ♪ thank you, dated slang expressions, for still sounding really cool. psych! [ laughter and applause ] psych.
♪ thank you, the moments right before i start a diet, for allowing me to eat every single unhealthy food i have in my house just to get rid of it. [ cheers and applause ] can't throw it out. >> steve: we can't keep these jalapeno poppers. >> jimmy: "can't throw it out, man. i got to eat these snickers bars right now. and first, if you -- oh, excuse me. sorry, i just got to put this -- >> steve: is that a gibson? >> jimmy: "it's a gibson 280c." >> steve: oh. you mind? i'm sitting -- >> jimmy: "they don't even make them anymore, yeah. this is sunburst. usually comes in, like, a gold flake color." [ laughter ] "but you're not even allowed to -- you don't even put the gold face down. it has to be gold face up because the paint will come right off." [ laughter ] >> steve: and how long have you worked at this chili's? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "the specials tonight are --" [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, mount rushmore, for getting the presidents stoned. [ laughter and applause ] there you go, you guys! those are my "thank you notes!" we'll be right back with more "late night!"
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! it is time to take a look at the news of the now, the news of today and the news of the now. it's time for "night news now." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> tonight, mitt romney responds to newt gingrich's accusations that he can't break dance. >> i don't think he knows what he's talking about. >> george clooney asks local reporter "did you see that little kid?" >> did you see that little kid? >> in sports, tiger woods talks about having indian food for the first time in six years. >> my body is feeling explosive again. [ laughter ] >> it's time for "night news now." >> jimmy: hello. and let's see what's happening. republican candidate rick santorum has made significant headway in the gop primaries. here's a brief clip from the
recent debate. and now to sports. [ laughter ] or as i like to call them, "sports." in sports, balls of various shapes and sizes were moved back and forth by oversized human men and victory units were disbursed accordingly. these young men clapped their hands while this older man grabbed his wrist. and now -- [ laughter ] "tick tock tech talk." your source to the latest in technology developments. today we're talking iphone rumors. we expect a new model to be released in the coming months, so our "night news now" future projectionists have been hard at work over the past six weeks, putting together this image of what they expect the new iphone to look like. [ laughter ] now, for the traffic. let's check in with dennis and the "night news now" chopter. ♪ [ chopper blades whirring ]
[ chopper blades whirring ] >> a whole bunch of cars down there, jimmy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, dennis. in office news, lately there has been a disgusting burnt coffee smell in the office kitchen. so we sent our investigative reporter, craig whitman, to check it out. >> something stinks in this office. no, not that. it's this coffee pot. someone poured out the last bit of coffee and put the pot back on the heating element. now the acrid smell of burnt coffee is wafting throughout the entire office. the question on everyone's mind is, who would do such a thing? my investigation was hitting dead end after dead end, until finally, a break in the case.
>> i think it was peter. >> but who was this peter? i decided to pay peter a little visit. see if we couldn't sniff out the source of this horrible smell. hi, peter? craig whitman. i wonder if i could ask you a question. >> yeah. go ahead. >> did you leave the coffee pot on in the kitchen earlier? >> yeah. >> back to you in the studio. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, craig. now, let's check in with our weatherman, gary. how are you doing, gary? >> not very good, jimmy. i recently got word that my house is -- >> jimmy: now a report on the ongoing debate between the republicans and democrats. let's shoot over to our roundtable discussion segment, "political words." ♪ >> thank you. politics, discussions, global world talking points. democrats, republicans. democrat. >> look, barack obama. large scale statistics. shoring up tangible foreign oil to his tax plan. here we are. main street. wall street. 2012.
time to america. now. >> solid points. on you, republican. >> where we differ. republican. standing tall underneath tax code. 22.2% high increase for election this year. next year. our children are going to take what our children give them for the future. but right now, and into the future, watch out. >> some proper talk down. tender remarks, hitting the point. both sides. politics. wait and see. yes. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, gentlemen. and now for my final brain dump. there's political conflict. sports is happening all over the place. iphone maybe. traffic, yes. weather happening. coffee stink. peter did it. and finally, before we go, this is what ron paul would look like if his face were upside down. >> most of the things to improve the environment -- [ laughter ] is getting the government out of the way and enforce contract laws and enforce bankruptcy laws. ♪pp]use rs and alause ch >> jimmy: that was "night news now." stick around. we'll be right back with ricky gervais! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our first guest is a very funny comedian, actor and writer, whose new show "life's too short" premieres this sunday at 10:30 p.m. on hbo. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, ricky gervais! ♪ too short life is too short life is ♪ ♪ too short life is too short life is ♪ ♪ too short [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our program. >> oh. >> jimmy: very, very nice. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was a very cool stroll, coming out. >> well, i don't know. you might be running out of things -- so i thought i'd stretch it out in case you're -- you know, you can -- cut it down, can't you?
[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so you want us to edit down your entrance? >> i like your hair. >> jimmy: you do? >> it looks like you cycled here, really fast. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it does, right? on this side only? >> talking of hair. >> jimmy: yeah? >> last time we met -- >> jimmy: do you remember that? that was insane. >> we were on a plane, coming back from the golden globes, right? from l.a. to new york. and i got on there and he was behind me. and he was showing me pictures he'd taken of this poor guy's wig in front of us -- [ light laughter ] that had -- that had parted. >> jimmy: yeah. i had to take a picture of it 'cause i'd never seen anything like it in my life. it was clearly a crazy wig. >> but that always happens. that always happens. >> jimmy: but that was insane. >> but you can always tell a wig. people put on wigs -- guys put on wigs and they think, "well, no one knows i'm bald." we do! you walk in the room, there's a bit sticking out the back! there's always a little bit! [ laughter ] isn't there? just a little bit in back where -- >> jimmy: it was just a shelf -- >> yeah, like your hair moves with you head. >> jimmy: it was such a shelf on his thing, i go, "i gotta take a picture of this thing." >> it was quite -- and it parted, as well, so your could, like, the mesh.
>> jimmy: it was awful -- what i did was, i pretend -- i pretend like i'm checking my e-mail. >> i do that. >> jimmy: and i get the camera ready to go and then i just -- [ light laughter ] >> i know. i do that as well. pretend i'm on the -- >> jimmy: i don't tweet it out or anything but -- >> no. nor do i, nor do i. [ talking over each other ] the other thing about it is -- the thing with wigs is, like, people get wigs -- they start going bald -- maybe they're bald at 30 or something. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and they wear a wig but they keep the same wig when they're 60. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] the wig should grow with you, yeah. >> the wig's got to grow with you. i know. >> jimmy: you should get like a -- when you get a wig, you should get a package of ten wigs. >> i think that -- yeah. >> jimmy: and it says -- look -- for every three years -- >> they'll be grayer. >> jimmy: yeah, grayer. yeah, and get -- yeah. >> 'cause your head shrinks as well, doesn't it? >> jimmy: yeah, it -- your head shrinks. >> the other thing you do, as well. you -- there was this "skymall" on there and jimmy was obsessed with this one thing. it was for a cushion, right? and the picture -- you -- >> jimmy: i mean, i don't know if -- yeah. >> i printed it out. yeah, right? >> jimmy: is this look comfortable to you? >> this -- yeah. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: "i'm just gonna take a nap. i'm just gonna take a nap, you guys. [ laughter ] don't mind me, buddy." >> "good night. wake me up." >> jimmy: yeah. >> it looks like she's been darted by a spy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was really fun -- i -- it was fun for us to be on 'cause, i guess -- 'cause we make each other laugh. >> it was great. but i feel bad for people when they see two people -- us, laughing. and i was -- i'm always conscious, as well. you know, when the air hostess does the sort of thing with the safety video? >> jimmy: yeah. >> 'cause you're a comedian, that -- they sort of look at you, thinking, "is he taking the mickey out of me?" >> jimmy: yeah -- >> and i always try and take it really seriously. >> jimmy: me too. >> like there's nothing funny about it. >> jimmy: i actually read mine -- like, i haven't read it before. >> yeah, i know. >> jimmy: and i go -- i'm setting a good example. >> but it's such a downer though, isn't it? [ laughter ] you get on there -- you got champagne -- you -- watching a film. and they come on the safety video and it's such a downer in the -- in the case of a crash. and is it -- they're not safety videos. >> jimmy: no. >> 'cause if your -- if your plane goes into a mountain at 600 miles an hour -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> "this" isn't safe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not gonna do anything! the pillow might -- yeah. the pillow might but that's it.
not everyone has this one. >> yeah, no -- >> jimmy: it is true though -- what a bum -- what a buzz kill. >> and there's always that, sort of like -- you have that aromatherapy music and it's like, "in the -- in the event of a crash --'" no, it's not calm! >> jimmy: don't say that. >> no, no. >> jimmy: that's not cool. if you're having a party -- if someone comes to your house and they're like -- they're like -- "hey -- if it -- might be fire, you guys, so -- [ talking over each other ] before we start to dance." >> yeah. and that's -- that's that thing they say -- "in an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. please breathe normally." no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's just no way. >> we're gonna die. >> jimmy: even if you're deepak chopra, you're not gonna breathe normally. i mean, he'd be like -- [ as deepak chopra ] "what is going on?!" and then you look weirder because you have a thing on your face -- >> and it says "please -- please make sure your own mask is secure before you help anyone else. and there's a little kid, just patiently -- [ laughter ] waiting, like that. >> jimmy: you know you're gonna have it on while you're helping the kid out. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> hold on. one minute. [ light laughter ] no.
no. it's ridiculous. [ applause ] every bit. and the other thing -- my favorite thing is when it gets to -- "in the event of a landing on water --" >> jimmy: yeah. >> "there is a lifejacket under your seat." and it shows you a -- you do this, right? and it says -- [ laughter ] it has a whistle for attracting attention. [ laughter ] so, you're in the middle of the atlantic ocean, right? and you're going, "oh, we're gonna die, we're gonna die!" "oh no, we're not." [ whistle ] i mean -- [ applause ] yeah, yeah. have you ever been in a helicopter? it's the loudest noise in the world. >> jimmy: the search-rescue -- >> [ imitates chopper ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: [ imitates chopper ] >> [ whistles ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like you're ever gonna find that -- oh my gosh! you guys, more with rickey gervais when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'd race down that hill without a helmet.
i took some steep risks in my teens. i'd never ride without one now. and since my doctor prescribed lipitor, i won't go without it for my high cholesterol. why kid myself? diet and exercise weren't lowering my cholesterol enough. now i'm eating healthier, exercising more, taking lipitor. numbers don't lie. my cholesterol has stayed down. and here's another number you might be interested in. lipitor may be available for as little as $4 a month with the lipitor co-pay card. terms and conditions apply. visit lipitor.com for details. [ female announcer ] lipitor is not for everyone, including people with liver problems and women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. you need simple blood tests to check for liver problems. tell your doctor if you are taking other medications or if you have any muscle pain or weakness. this may be a sign of a rare but serious side effect. [ man ] still love that wind in my face! talk to your doctor. if lipitor has been working for you, stay with it. don't wait. lipitor may be available for as little as $4 a month. get your lipitor co-pay card today at lipitor.com.
hey, brian, can i have some hwheat thins? what? can i have some hwheat thins? they're wheat thins. hwheat thins. wheat thins. hwheat thins. why are you putting so much emphasis on the "h"? what are you talking about? i'm just saying hwheat thins. wheat thins. hwheat thins. peter: can i be in your commercial? both: no! it's our thing. we're doing it. online dating services can get kind of expensive. so to save-money, i found a new way to get my profile out there. check me out. everybody says i've got a friendly disposition and they love my spinach dip. 5 foot ten. still doing a little exploring... on it. my sign is sagittarius, i'm into spanish cheese, my hairline is receding but i'm getting a weave. (falsetto chorus) getting a weave. who wants some ronald tonight!? geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm hanging out with the one and only ricky gervais. gosh, we love you, buddy. you have a new show. this is your 20th show. >> that's right. >> jimmy: this sunday, 10:30 p.m. >> well, i only do three episodes oevery y series, so -- yeah. >> jimmy: this is your series, yeah. >> i've had a career, overall by just doing lots of stuff for a
little while. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: speaking of little. i wanna know what this show is about. >> right. it's about -- it's a fake documentary and it follows the life of a showbiz dwarf -- >> jimmy: yes. >> called warwick davis. he's 3'6." and he's 3'6" in real life, as well. there's no -- there's no prosthetic. >> jimmy: no cgi? [ laughter ] >> no, we haven't got a tall actor and he's walking about. >> jimmy: good for you. >> and he's -- and he really is in films. our fictional world, his career's on the slide and -- and he really was in all those films, like "return of the jedi" and "harry potter" and all that sort of stuff, but -- >> jimmy: "willow," wasn't he -- >> exactly, yeah. but it's one of those fake documentaries that, you know, follow your life and he -- he's gotta do it 'cause he's got a tax bill -- >> jimmy: but you make him into -- you kind of make him into a little bit of jerk too. >> he is, yeah. well, we found out -- 'cause he's so likeable, the real warrick -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> that we have to make him quite manipulative and, you know, nasty so -- so people knew why they were laughing 'cause it's not -- it's not laughing at him 'cause he's small. it's laughing at him because he's sort of arrogant and, you know -- and manipulative and -- >> jimmy: yeah.
but he drives a giant car. >> so he falls out of it all the time. [ laughter ] you know? >> jimmy: no man in his real -- right mind would drive it. >> he won't let people help him so he has to has to climb up shelves and things. [ laughter ] his own ego won't let him do it. and -- and it came about -- i actually met warwick first. i called him and said, "would you like to be kicked in the face -- for 'extras'?" the film. >> jimmy: yeah, he jumped at the chance. >> he did, yes. >> jimmy: and -- and then he brought out an autobiography and he asked me for a quote for it and i gave him the quote, "pound for pound, warwick davis is one of the funniest people i know." right? [ laughter ] and he used that. and he gave me a copy of the autobiography. and it's really funny. just the things that has happened to him because -- because of his size and how people treat him. for example, certain cultures find dwarves lucky. so, he's been standing in a crowded place and japanese people have sort of come and tried to rub up against him. [ laughter ] and he's --
"i know what you're doing." but -- you know, but he's so nice, he's just -- and -- but one of the first things i found out -- he -- when he goes shopping -- 'cause he doesn't want to ask people for help, he pretends to buy a mop and he walks around knocking things into his basket. [ laughter ] and then puts the mop back. and of course, in real life, that's fine. in our world, we use that -- he gets into scrapes 'cause then you can't use that mop. and it gets him into all sorts of scrapes. and this is the other thing he told me. his wife, in real life, is a little person as well. and when they go shopping, they sort of split up and they say, "i'll meet you back here." she might get to a shop first and he goes in there and he said the staff always go, "she's over there." [ laughter ] and again, the real warwick davis says, "thanks very much." >> jimmy: yeah. >> but in our world, he goes, "how'd you know i'm not meeting that tall woman, over there?" [ laughter ] and he has real argument. >> jimmy: it's a good thing right? it's a good sort of fresh take on that. >> yeah, so he's -- he's playing a fake version of himself but, you know, a lot of it is from life and things that -- you know how a little person actually gets treated.
and it's all about exploitation of the industry 'cause most little people are -- are used as props, you know? they're used as, sort of, like, elves, or, you know -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it's about that. and in this world, he steals all the best jobs for himself because he runs an agency for other little people. so he's like -- [ light laughter ] he's like a little fascist. >> jimmy: yeah, he really is. and who do you play? >> i play myself. >> jimmy: okay. >> i play a sort of -- well, not a twisted version of myself. i am -- i sort of play -- he comes to see me and he -- the joke is that people come and say, "are you doing any more 'extras'?" "are you doing more 'the office'?" and he's one of these people. and it's sort of an excuse for him to bump into people like liam neeson. >> jimmy: you have super cameos in this thing. >> oh -- >> jimmy: it's crazy. everybody -- johnny depp is funny. >> -- helena bonham carter, sting. >> jimmy: i love that you do bits with johnny depp because he looks like such a serious guy. >> he's great. >> jimmy: but he's a good -- >> that came about 'cause everyone was sayin' that he was offended at the golden globes and i called him up and he said, "'course i wasn't." and we sort of spoofed that. he comes in -- he comes to get his own back.
about the jokes i did about "the tourist." and he goes crazy. it's an amazing cameo. >> jimmy: i love it so much. we have a clip. we're gonna show you guys a clip of a clip of johnny depp, ricky gervais. here's "life's too short." >> have i done so much to offend you? >> what do you mean, like trashing me in front of like 200 million people at the golden globes? >> that was a while ago. they were jokes, johnny. i didn't -- >> oh, they were jokes? >> yeah. >> you like jokes? >> yes. >> good. 'cause i actually got together with a few pals after the awards and we wrote some jokes about you. i want you to know this and i want you to carry this with you for the rest of your days. no one makes fun of tim allen on my watch. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: someone's gotta get his back. ricky gervais. "life's too short" premieres this sunday, 10:30 p.m. on hbo. thandie newton joins us next! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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you came and you gave without taking ♪ ♪ and i sent you away oh thandie you kissed and stopped from shaking ♪ ♪ and i need you [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thandie. >> you have the coolest house band in the world. >> jimmy: the band is the coolest, right? come on. you can't beat the roots, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] you look gorgeous. thank you so much for coming on our show. >> are you kidding? i'm so thrilled to be here. >> jimmy: and we met that one -- >> see you again. >> jimmy: we met that one time. >> it was the most bizarre thing. at the met ball. >> jimmy: yeah. >> why -- you and me at the met ball. didn't know you at all. >> jimmy: yeah, we didn't know each other at all, but we -- >> walking up the red carpet on the stairs. and all these photographers going crazy. and then we happened to be standing next to each other -- not even looking at each other. >> jimmy: nope. >> and then the photographers say, "jimmy, thandie, picture together!" and we literally --
[ laughter ] and then we just turn around and resume our other conversation. >> jimmy: and then i didn't see you the rest of the night, yeah. [ laughter ] i go, "hey --" and i meant to drop you a note and go, "hey, nice to meet you." >> i know. my husband's like, "who's that?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who's that weird guy you're standing next to? >> -- we'd been together for, like, 20 years. >> jimmy: they really did. yeah. exactly. we were laughing. like, oh, my gosh. yeah, we just met that day. >> that's crazy. >> jimmy: you know ricky, right? you guys did a -- >> he's run off, didn't he? >> jimmy: yeah, he's run off. >> oh. he's a national treasure. >> jimmy: england has some of the best comedians -- >> the best. >> jimmy: the best comedy out there. i love everybody. >> we do. we have an amazing tradition of comedy. >> jimmy: you do. i mean, going back to monty python or -- >> i used to listen to the goons when i was a kid. my dad had that -- >> jimmy: "goon show." oh, i love it. >> -- the full dvds and video. we just used to have audio tapes of the goons. >> jimmy: peter sellers. spike milligan. >> spike milligan. >> jimmy: very, very good. >> yeah, i was brought up on that stuff. >> jimmy: were you really? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: someone just gave me a bunch of all their old radio shows, "goon shows." >> amazing. the best stuff. >> jimmy: just the funniest stuff. >> yeah, and there's something about it being audio that just makes it even more special. >> jimmy: yeah, because you make up the -- in your imagination, you just think of what they're doing. like -- he's like -- >> yeah, yeah.
>> jimmy: he goes, "i'm going to the army." and you hear this band go -- ♪ they play, and he goes, "stop, stop, stop." and then he goes, "i'm going to the navy." and they go, "why?" he goes, "the army's too loud." >> yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] it's clever. >> jimmy: great jokes like that. you go, "oh, my gosh." brilliant stuff. >> jimmy: how come you haven't done comedies? >> i don't know. i don't know. >> jimmy: you should. i mean, yeah. are you -- >> i think i'd love to. but i just -- you know, i got into that serious drama -- >> jimmy: i mean, you're amazing, yeah, dramatic actor. but now, you're in -- you're working with tyler perry. he's a funny guy. >> yeah, he is. although, funnily enough, we kind of swapped roles in this. you know, i'm the more comedic role in the movie and he's the straight man. >> jimmy: smart -- that's smart on his part. he's a genius. >> he is a genius. >> jimmy: he's a brilliant guy. >> he's such a beautiful man, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. now, what is "good deeds" about? >> well, "good deeds" is about two people whose worlds collide. people that would have never known each other. like you and me possibly. >> jimmy: yeah. >> if it wasn't for the red carpet. >> jimmy: uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> okay. and, whose worlds collide. and i play a janitor in his huge
corporation, and he is the head of the corporation. and he's unhappy in his life. and he's just staying at work later and later and later. so late that i'm the one doing the night shift. and that's how i meet him. >> jimmy: interesting. very cool. >> and -- and it's a love story. and it's bittersweet. because, unfortunately, i become homeless and my child gets taken to care, which is so not funny. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. yeah, yeah, yeah. well, we don't know how it ends. i mean -- >> happily. >> jimmy: unless that's the way it ends. then it's, like, well, that's really sad. yeah. but i mean, usually he has happy endings. and he makes -- it's like a roller coaster ride when you watch his movies because really happy, then very moving, and then happy again. >> and then back to happy again. >> jimmy: oh, he's a good man. >> through it all. yeah, he's great. >> jimmy: he said -- i heard that you were making him laugh the whole time. >> well, i think that must be why because on "colored girls" -- we did the movie together, "colored girls," a couple of years ago. i mean, i'm very fond of practical jokes, and i've got a terrible potty mouth. and tyler is very -- i wouldn't say straight, but he's just a little reserved and never curses. and i'm just effing and blinding all the time.
i just can't help myself. [ laughter ] and he's -- to the point where he sometimes has to actually walk away from me because he just couldn't hear it anymore. but then he asked me back. >> jimmy: what? >> i know. he asked me back for "good deeds," and i was a little shocked that he wanted me to come back again. you know. >> jimmy: because you're so offensive and shocking. >> it was so offensive. talking about poo all the time and stuff. and -- and so -- >> jimmy: talking about poo. whatever. no big deal. >> poo is a big subject. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you have a lot of material on poo? yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but also just pulling faces. i've got a really good one actually. this is the one i do for him which he literally just doesn't understand. have you got a kleenex? >> jimmy: sure. >> or anyone? kleenex? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's special. you should do this as well. get your -- get your kleenex. >> jimmy: okay. >> it's easy to do at home. okay, just get the top lip inside the teeth nice and dry. that's it. [ laughter ] nice and dry. and then just curl it up inside. it's like a cookery show. >> jimmy: yep. >> get it up inside. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah.
>> now a photo again. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] really good. >> so -- i'd be on set -- >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> and "good deeds" is a romantic comedy. >> jimmy: yeah. it's absolutely, yes. but you look gorgeous in it, yeah. >> so, we crack on into the scene. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and tyler would be off the set, you know, and i'd sort of organize myself properly. and then we'd just come in for a kiss right there. >> jimmy: yeah. i got -- yeah, yeah. >> and he'd literally have to walk away. i mean, what else are you going to do? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that guy. i love that you're doing that. it's awesome. i want to show everyone this clip of thandie newton. here it is. >> harley. >> softail deluxe. >> what do you know about it? >> her daddy used to work at a place called baker boys bikes. >> on elm? >> yes! you know that? >> i do, i do. wow, small world. i remember when i was a kid -- wow, we'd spend hours there all the time. >> you ride? >> i -- i did once.
i was about 17. we'd hang out there all day. we all wanted to get -- it's so crazy. we all wanted to get harleys, right? we just had this dream of riding our bikes all over the world, digging wells at old villages. so i started trying to learn how to ride. my mom found out i was hanging out down there, and she hit the roof. crazy, right? >> i don't think that is crazy at all. i mean, you have a good heart. >> jimmy: see, come on, see? [ cheers and applause ] "good deeds" february 24th. thandie newton, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] school of seven bells perform next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ look! here she comes!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there we go. what we got here? oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we're almost there! we can do it! we can break 1700! come on. yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ oh, it's going to be a good weekend. you guys, our next guests will release their third album, "ghostory" on february 28th. here to perform the opening track from it called "the night," please welcome back to the show, school of seven bells! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
do you feel a change ♪ ♪ is this the way you thought it would be do you feel the same without me darling ♪ ♪ you have my arms you have my legs we are one continued skin we are one continued pain ♪ ♪ oh our meeting lit a fuse in my heart devoured me devoured me ♪ ♪ you have my arms you have my legs we are one continued skin we are one continued pain ♪ ♪ oh our meeting