tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC September 24, 2015 11:34pm-12:38am PDT
the robot has plenty of company. lots and lots of people are waiting. they started at 6:00 and they have a long way to go. it opens at 8:00 in the morning and luckily the robot does not need food or water. >> what if the battery goes out? >> that's tonight in downtown palo alto? the line around the block for the little phone? >> yes. and the robot is having a great time. >> i want to go wave. >> thanks for joining us. enjoy your friday. ess devices do not pose a public health risk for adults or children. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- joseph gordon-levitt,
chris hardwick, musical guest big grams. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 336 n.c. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hot crowd. hot crowd. oh, hi, everybody. hey, welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ]
i'm your host, jimmy fallon. please, please sit down. [ laughter ] now, please stand up. now, please kneel. now, stand up -- sorry, i got pope fever. i have pope fever. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. pope francis arrived here in new york city today. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. and this is cool. he even performed his first miracle when he parted the tourists in times square. [ laughter ] ♪ make-a way, make-a way for elmo. i also saw that pope francis also held his first ever prayer here in new york city earlier this evening. yep, i guess it was halfway through his first new york city cab ride. like, "holy mary, mother of -- [ applause ] i'll get out here. i'll get out here." [ laughter ] pope's been very busy this morning. he made an appearance alongside congressional leaders in washington, d.c. and a lot of people noticed john boehner was once again crying. [ laughter ] and to no one's surprise,
joe biden expressed his emotions a little differently. watch. [ applause ] >> jimmy: finger gun. joe, i love you, buddy, but they are not clapping for you. okay, that's the pope. [ laughter ] you're sitting next to the pope. "thanks a lot." it's like standing behind the rolling stones like, "what? thank you so much. oh my god." [ laughter ] standing next to the pope. yeah. >> steve: yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: while he was in washington, the pope gave a a major speech to congress and asked them to accept immigrants as their own children. and congressmen were like, "eh, we've already got enough children our wives don't know about." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: not for me. in a speech yesterday, pope francis urged american bishops
to, quote, "flee the temptation of narcissism." then bishops were like, "ooh, he's talking about us." [ laughter ] let's get to some political news here. this week scott walker became the latest republican to drop out of the race for president. >> yeah! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: that was his wife. mrs. walker. >> jimmy: yeah, mrs. walker's here. welcome. [ laughter ] actually, though, a member of his staff said that walker plans to give two thirds of his campaign donations to marco rubio. >> whoo! >> jimmy: although it got weird when scott walker asked rubio if he had change for a five. [ laughter ] he was like, "no. don't bother. just keep it. don't worry about it." and donald trump announced yesterday that he will no longer be appearing on fox news because he believes they treat him unfairly. [ laughter ] and president obama was like, "you are adorable." i mean, really, really. how fair -- unfairly treated --?
[ cheers and applause ] wow. did you see this? in a recent interview, hillary clinton was asked which woman should be put on the $10 bill. check out her response. >> have you given any thought to the woman who should be on the $10 bill? [ laughter ] >> you know, i am very torn about it. i want a woman on a bill. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that's what she said. >> jimmy: hey, hey, jeb, jeb. hey watch it. ♪ >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: jeb, listen to the woman. [ laughter ] this is not good here you guys. i read that the u.s. postal service hasn't earned a profit in almost a decade. in fact, they've lost an estimated $50 billion since 2007. that's just mind blowing. i mean there's got to be a way to fix it, right? let's think of some ways to resolve this issue in a new
segment called "putting the roots on the spot with a a question." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] okay. tariq, we'll start with you. how can the postal service earn a profit? [ cheers ] >> tariq: oh, um -- charge more for envelopes. >> jimmy: sure. okay, quest? >> questlove: uh, uh -- charge more for paper things you put letters in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what tariq said, but sure, sure. kirk? >> maybe something with the stamps? >> jimmy: like what? >> make them -- edible? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. mark? >> mailboxes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mailboxes what? >> make them edible. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, we're not making anything edible. james, you're our last hope. how can the postal service earn a profit? >> well actually, i think it's
a matter of making the act of sending physical letters, a.k.a., snail mail, more relevant to this day and age, and in order to do that we need to streamline the process. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: maybe. how so? >> make it edible. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, check this out here. starbucks just updated its app so that you can order your coffee ahead of time and pick it up at the shop without having to wait in line. [ cheers and applause ] right. because nobody wants to spend all day waiting around at starbucks except for 80% of the people at starbucks. [ laughter ] "who's going to hop on the wi-fi? [ applause ] i'm going to stream all the 'lord of the rings' movies right now and just -- oh, i'll buy the cheapest coffee you can get. whatever that is." [ laughter ] and finally, this is cool, the "peanuts" movie is coming out this fall. and a lot people have been
using their peanut-tize me website to make charlie brown-like versions of themselves. yeah. and if you're not familiar with the peanut-tize me website, type it in very carefully. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ then i saw his face now i'm a believer not a trace of doubt in my mind ♪ ♪ i'm in love ooh i'm a believer i couldn't leave her if i tried ♪ ♪ yes i saw her face now i'm a believer yeah ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> that's what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. the iconic micky dolenz sitting in with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] micky dolenz.
oh, god. he sold 70 million albums as part of the legendary band the monkees. his new live album "a little bit broadway, a little bit rock 'n' roll" is available right now. thanks for -- micky dolenz, thank you for being here. >> thank you jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're looking good and sounding good. do you remember the first time we met? we met before. >> yeah, of course we did. you -- at universal amphitheater. >> jimmy: that's right. i op -- >> '80, '87 -- what year? >> jimmy: i think '97. [ laughter ] >> i remember telling you now that i got you on the show, you opened for us. >> jimmy: yeah. >> then you said, "well, when i'm hosting 'the tonight show,' i'll have you on." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah, no. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: yeah, no, i always keep a promise. >> i can't believe you remembered all those years ago. >> jimmy: i always keep a a promise. yeah. that was so fun. i can't believe you remember that because that was a big night for me. i got to open up for the monkees, and i even have the paper that they put outside
your dressing room door says, like, door close time, then jimmy fallon comes on, ten minutes and then the monkees. you were super great and super nice to me. i was like, i'm backstage hanging out with the monkees. it was so fun. thanks so much for being cool and thanks for coming down. i'm so happy to have you here. this is great. >> thank you, jimmy. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "little bit broadway little bit rock 'n' roll." guys, it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead tomorrow night. olivia wilde will be here. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to play a new game called watermelon time bomb. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. plus fred savage, we have music from walk the moon, and "thank you notes." [ cheers and applause ] you don't want to miss that tomorrow. but first we have a fantastic show tonight. from the new movie "the walk," you see this? >> steve: this is fantastic. >> jimmy: 3-d, imax. robert zemeckis. it's fantastique. [ light laughter ] it's about philippe petit. it's that guy that just walked across -- can you believe that really happened? he walked across the world trade center.
the towers. >> steve: on a wire. >> jimmy: on a wire. they snuck in, they shot a bow and arrow over to the other tower. i -- this really happened. and his buddies were in on it, they snuck up the other tower, they snuck a rope over and then he walked between two towers and it really happened. it's insane. anyway, he's fantastic in the movie. joseph gordon-levitt is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] can't believe that's real. >> steve: it's real. [ with french accent ] >> jimmy: i cannot believe. >> steve: it's true. >> jimmy: i cannot believe that's a real story. >> steve: no. no, sacre bleu. sacre green! >> jimmy: sacre verde. no, that's spanish. espanol? >> steve: adios. >> jimmy: si, verde. yeah. >> steve: liar. >> jimmy: plus, he's a good friend of the show and the host of "at midnight" on comedy central, chris hardwick is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he's a good man. >> steve: he's real. >> jimmy: and we have a great performance tonight, phantogram teamed up with big boy from outkast and they created big grams. that's on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] spicy. >> steve: that is spicy. >> jimmy: yeah, that is spicy.
>> steve: those are some big grams. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: talking about these? like, the things on the side? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. big grams. [ laughter ] golden grams. >> steve: yeah, golden grams. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i mean it's a bad joke, but -- >> steve: still a joke. >> jimmy: if you want to call it that. it's still a joke. >> steve: just joking. >> jimmy: it counts as -- >> steve: especially counts as a joke. come on, man. >> jimmy: big grams is here, you guys. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] guys, oh, i need your help. we're putting together this fun thing called "the tonight show" kid dictionary. so here's what i'd like you to do. you need to take a short video of your kid defining a word, any word. could be like, honeymoon, robot, avocado. think of a word. yeah. then they can say anything except the word that they're trying to define, like if the word's gum, they can be like, "it's minty, it's like rubber, you chew it, it's green." whatever. they don't even have to know what the word is.
they can just think they know and just say a definition. so shoot a short video like that and upload it to youtube with the title "tonight show kid dictionary" or go to tonightshow.com/kiddictionary. send us a video. maybe your kid will end up on "the tonight show." it'll be fun. [ cheers and applause ] it'll be good. i appreciate that, thank you, guys. now it's time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. ♪ hashtags ♪ ♪ hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: micky dolenz sitting in with the roots. this is great. this is awesome. you guys are on -- [ laughter ] you guys are on twitter, right? you use twitter? >> audience: yeah. >> jimmy: it's fun. we use twitter on our show every single week. so if you watch our show and you want to play along we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag. and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since fall is officially here i went on twitter and started a hashtag called #fallsongs. okay?
and i asked you guys to tweet out funny song lyrics about the fall. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s., so thank you -- [ cheers and applause ] -- for those tweets. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite fall songs tweets from you guys. roots, can you guys help me out? >> yeah. >> jimmy: here we go. okay, this first one from @cakestandlady. [ laughter ] she says -- ♪ ♪ watch me sip watch me latte ♪ ♪ watch me sip sip watch me latte ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sip latte. this next one's from @desertrose5. she says -- ♪ hey now you're a scarecrow get your hat on go hay ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: go hay. >> steve: go hay. >> jimmy: hay. ha-ay. >> steve: fall. >> jimmy: hay. >> steve: fall, man. >> jimmy: hay. this -- okay. this one's from @jasonholzman. he says -- ♪ i can't feel my face
until it's june ♪ ♪ nose is frostbit though i like hot chocolate ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sure like hot chocolate. squeeze that one in there. this one's from @deantweet111. he says -- ♪ leaves are changing colors and everyone's getting chilly i'm staying inside staying inside ♪ ♪ leaves are changing colors and everyone's getting chilly i'm staying inside staying inside ♪ ♪ ah ah ah ah staying inside staying inside ♪ ♪ ah ah ah ah staying inside >> jimmy: i think that went too long. that's my man, barry gibb. [ cheers and applause ] this next one's from @kay8heart. she says -- ♪ corn in the usa ♪ corn in the usa
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this last one's from @mamaheddi. she says -- ready? ♪ hello is it leaves you're looking for ♪ ♪ i can see them in my arms i can see them in the trees i just want someone to rake you but not me ♪ there you go. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] those are "tonight show" hashtags. check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever combining the harmony of barbershop quartet with the music of rihanna, please welcome the ragtime gals. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ yayo, yayo moo-la-lah yayo moo-la-lah ♪ ♪ bitch better have my money y'all should know me well enough bitch better have my money ♪ ♪ please don't call me on my bluff pay me what you owe me ballin' bigger than lebron ♪ ♪ bitch better have my money who do you think you're fronting on? ♪ ♪ like brrap, brrap, brrap like brrap, brrap, brrap brrap, brrap ♪ ♪ louis xiii and it's all on me you just bought a shot ♪ ♪ kamikaze if you think that you're gonna knock me off the top ♪ ♪ your wife's in the backseat of my brand new electric car ♪
♪ don't act like you forgot i call the shot, shot, shots ♪ ♪ like blah, brrap, brrap brrap, brrap ♪ ♪ pay me what you owe me don't act like you forgot m ♪ bitch better have my money just like brrap, brrap brrap ♪ ♪ turn up to rihanna while the whole club frickin' wasted ♪ ♪ every time i drop i am the only thing you're playin' ♪ ♪ in a drop top doin' hundred y'all in my rearview mirror racin' ♪ ♪ where y'all at? where y'all at? where y'all at? where is everybody at? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ bitch better have my money bitch better have my money bitch better have my money don't act like you forgot ♪ ♪ bitch better have my money don't act like you forgot hey ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with more "tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic, our first guest is a talented actor who stars in the new movie "the walk," which opens in imax 3-d on september 30th. you have to see it on imax 3-d. it is so scary. and everywhere else october 9th. please welcome joseph gordon-levitt, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: joseph gordon-levitt! >> thank you. >> jimmy: a talented man. a dapper man. a good looking man. a movie star. >> oh, my goodness gracious. thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you for doing that bit with us. i appreciate that. >> that was so much fun, man. i mean, i loved seeing it in the past, when you guys sent me the e-mail like, hey, do you want to do the ragtime gals? i was like, "oh my god, i get to do the ragtime gals." >> jimmy: you just nailed it. that's great because you can actually sing. i've known -- i've known you for years now. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we've done singing bits together. >> well, last time i lip-synched. >> jimmy: that's right. you didn't even sing at all. >> i didn't get to sing. >> jimmy: no one saw that, by the way. >> you know, actually -- >> jimmy: 50 million hits on youtube that thing. >> oh, i know, jimmy. i check it every day. [ laughter ] no, but actually more -- more people come up to me and say, "oh, i love the lip-synch" more than, like, "inception" or "dark knight rises" or "500 days of summer." [ laughter ] it's really funny. more people come up to me and say it's the super bass man. >> jimmy: nicki minaj, unbelievable. but now you finally get to
sing. you used to be in a band, right? >> i mean, you know, i was in a a high school band when i was 16 and 17. >> jimmy: i want to know details. i want to know every -- >> it's really embarrassing. >> jimmy: what's the name of the band? >> it was not a good band name. >> jimmy: no, that's the best. come on! what is it? what was it? was it one word? >> it's not even like funny or anything. no, it wasn't one word. it was called foad on the march. silence of course. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm trying to think. what does it mean? i'm trying to think if i can guess -- >> it was a kid at our school. he was this kid named foad. we weren't even that close with him. i don't know why we named our band after him. >> jimmy: did he know that? >> no, i don't -- it's not like our band was popular or anything. [ laughter ] foad didn't know that we -- >> jimmy: foad on the march? >> yeah, and it's spelled f-o-a-d. so, everyone if they saw it written would say fode on the march. we're like it's not fode, it's foad. and they'd be like, "why foad?" and we're like, there's no reason man! >> jimmy: no one understands us! shut the door, mom! [ laughter ] >> yes, exactly. >> jimmy: we're rehearsing!
foad on the march. what kind of music was foad on the march? >> it was, you know, it was four 16-year-old boys turning their guitars up very loudly and hurting their ears and having a great time doing it. >> jimmy: yeah. did you have any original songs? did you do cover songs? >> we did both. we had a catalog of originals. >> jimmy: did you ever play any gigs? >> we, you know, we played the cobalt cafe out in the san fernando valley. yeah. >> jimmy: you actually played a a real gig. >> for, you know, like our friends. i mean, actually those are the kind of best kinds of gigs, though, 'cause you're just doing it for fun. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it wasn't like -- i loved it. it was so much fun. >> jimmy: what's one of the original song titles from foad on the -- from foad on the march? what would i expect if i got front-row seats at the cobalt cafe? [ light laughter ] give me a taste. >> there's no seats. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: standing room only? >> i wrote a song called "fido's quest for the meaning
of life." [ laughter ] it was about a dog who died of fleas sucking his blood to death. it was the '90s, man. we were like into nirvana and stuff. >> jimmy: i'm so happy you became an actor. [ laughter ] let me tell you something, i saw this movie, i go, "oh, there's no one more perfect to play this man than you." >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: you're fantastic in the movie, "the walk." this really happened. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i can't believe this guy -- what's his name? >> philippe petit. oh, wi. [ laughter ] [ speaking in french ] >> jimmy: now we're doing donald trump. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> what? >> jimmy: baguette is huge. france is fantastic. >> actually that is the best way to have a good french accent is to duck face your lips like donald trump. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> that's the key, yeah. >> jimmy: you're fantastic.
not only do you speak french in the movie, which i knew that you spoke french, then you have to speak in english with a a french accent. >> yep. [ french accent ] >> jimmy: which is very tricky. talking like on the wire. i could never have made it. >> sounds exactly like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it does not, but man, you're so believable and fantastic. >> thank you, man. thank you. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. this guy is just an artist. he's a wire walker. is that what you would call him? >> yeah, well, that's exactly it. you know, he's half a brilliant artist and half completely out of his mind. >> jimmy: yeah. how would you come up with this idea? you go, "oh, i wanna walk on a a wire across the twin towers." >> exactly. >> jimmy: you know you can't get permission. >> but that's the thing. is we all have these things in our life that are impossible. we know we can't do them, but isn't it great when you really try to do them, anyway? and that's why i find him inspiring. 'cause he's not a superhero. he's not, like, you know, magical in any way. he was a real person, and he had this dream, and it was impossible but he did it. and i love making a movie out of that. that's the kind of thing we
should celebrate. >> jimmy: but i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] i agree with you. you're right. why not? the impossible dream, go for it. but i mean, he had his buddy on the other tower, and he's shooting a bow and arrow. >> a bow and arrow. >> jimmy: with a fishing wire. and then once they catch that, which they barely caught it. >> i like how you're starting to talk in a french accent. [ french accent ] >> jimmy: i know. to walk the walk, i have to talk the talk, you know? you walk the walk, you have to talk the talk. and he's pulling this thing over, and then now i'm gonna talk in like a brooklyn accent. [ brooklyn accent ] >> you're pulling that thing over there. >> jimmy: the freaking wire over here. pullin' the thing. [ laughter ] forget about it! you know what i'm saying? then it's just, honestly, i know that you don't fall because i know the history. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but still, i'm nervous. >> well, that's robert zemeckis. so, the film maker that made this movie, he's the guy who made "back to the future," "forrest gump," "roger rabbit," "castaway," "flight." it's such an honor -- such an honor to work for him. >> jimmy: and imax 3-d. have you seen it in imax 3-d? >> i saw it in imax. i saw it in 3-d, but not in imax 3-d. >> jimmy: i saw it in imax 3-d and i was like --
'cause you're seeing the ground and the wire, like, wobbling. and you're moving your feet over it. i'm so scared. it's -- the technology is great right now. >> the thing is a lot of 3-d movies to be honest, i feel like they kind of tack the 3-d on at the end, and it doesn't need to be 3-d. but when mr. zemeckis came up with this movie the whole idea from the beginning is what's the perfect story that necessitates 3-d? and this is what he came up with and composed every shot with 3-d in mind. i watched him do it. and to be honest, i don't always prefer 3-d movies, but this one i think is really good in 3-d. >> jimmy: yeah, and i'm assuming because i know you, you probably went in and learned to walk on a wire. >> i did learn how to walk on a a wire. philippe taught me how to do it. he insisted that he be the one to teach me. he's like -- [ french accent ] no one -- no one else understands the art, the poetry of how i walk on the wire, i will be the one to show you, you know? >> jimmy: see that's what i'm talking about. he knows how to do it. [ cheers and applause ] he acts like it's nothing. that's how good he is. but he taught you, himself. that's so rad. >> taught me how to do it. >> jimmy: and he ended up never
leaving new york after that. >> he's a new yorker. he loves new york city. this movie is a love letter to new york city. >> jimmy: it really is. and what a great city. gosh, don't you love this city? isn't it great? [ cheers and applause ] >> there it is. >> jimmy: that's actual size. >> there it is. >> jimmy: that's actual size, yeah. well, we have a clip here i want to show everyone. here's joseph gordon-levitt in "the walk." take a look at this. ♪ >> okay, okay. ♪ [ wind blowing ]
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: joseph gordon-levitt, everybody. "the walk" opens in imax 3-d on september 30th then everywhere october 9th. chris hardwick joins us next. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the possibility of a flare swas almost always on my mind. thinking about what to avoid, where to go... and how to deal with my uc. to me, that was normal. until i talked to my doctor. she told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications haven't worked well enough. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened;
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the ceo of nerdist industries and the host of the comedy central show "@midnight." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome chris hardwick! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, what do we do now? are we periscoping? >> we're periscoping. but now, we don't want to give
it away. so, i'm going to stop this now and then you'll have to watch tonight. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. it's gonna be really -- >> joseph gordon-levitt was just on. micky dolenz is here. questlove is here. jimmy's here -- >> jimmy: much different then what you're seeing right now. >> yeah, it is. this is not fun for the audience here. so i'm going to turn that off. >> jimmy: welcome. thank you for being here. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: i want to congratulate you on winning an emmy last week. >> than you very much. >> jimmy: that's my man right there. knows what he's talking about. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you get a -- you get a sting right there. >> emmy! >> jimmy: you get the the emmy sting! >> emmy sting! >> sting! >> 'cause you won one, too. we got to share this interactive award. >> jimmy: yeah. >> 'cause you do wonderful work, like, sort of crossing the platforms. so i'm honored to share the award with you. >> jimmy: your title of your show is very interactive. >> it is -- and the emmy, i stabbed my hand really bad with it, because it's a -- the wings are -- it's a deadly weapon. >> jimmy: it's a sharp award. >> it's a striking weapon and then a stabbing weapon. [ light laughter ] unlike the oscar, which is actually a very sexy award. >> jimmy: yeah. it is a very -- yeah, yeah. >> probably the sexiest award of all. >> jmy: you think that --
yeah, the oscar would be the sexiest award. did you accept and did you do a a speech or anything? >> i did a speech. we didn't -- it's so mad -- it's so stressful, because it feels like you have longer than you have. and you're like, "i'd like to thank," and they start playing the music, "everyone i've ever met in my life!" >> jimmy: and run away, yeah. but you were probably nervous, because you had a bigger thing happening. >> yeah, i got engaged the night of the -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. let's get into it. >> engagement! >> jimmy: engagement! no, tell me about the engagement. >> the engagement. well, it was -- it made me not nervous about the emmys. but my girlfriend, lydia hearst and i, have been together for about a year. and i've been planning to ask her to commit herself to me legally. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's such a a romantic way -- >> i have these documents. i see everything is in order here. >> jimmy: we are going to get a a tax break. [ laughter ] >> if i'm in the hospital, you may now visit me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i need an emergency contact. >> i need someone to pick me up
after school. >> jimmy: thank you. yeah, perfect. >> so, yeah, i was going to do it -- you guys have the same birthday, actually, september 19th. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? >> so, she was going to go to disneyland. i was performing in austin. and i was going to coordinate this whole thing with her friends. i'm going to do my show in austin, i'm gonna fly across the country, show up at disneyland, and be like -- [ mickey mouse voice ] "huh-huh, surprise, let's get married!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: in the mickey mouse, yeah, yeah. so glad you didn't do that. you couldn't have gotten the costume in time. >> i wouldn't have been able to get in the costume. >> jimmy: what's wrong with your voice? i don't know. [ mickey mouse voice ] >> hey, will you make me the happiest -- get away from me you friggin' creep! [ goofy voice ] i just want to love you forever. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't pick a a different character. just don't do it. >> it's not working. >> jimmy: donald duck is pantless. you don't want to do that. [ talking over each other ] >> so, what happened was that a a couple days before, the previous weekend, she said, "oh, it's not gonna work out at disneyland now." and so i figured, "oh my god, creative arts emmys, we're going to be dressed up anyway. i'm going to tell her there's an after party at the chateau marmont -- >> jimmy: ooh!
>> and trick her! 'cause there's an acceptable amount of deception when you're asking someone to marry you. it's the only time you can lie to your significant other and then it's adorable. [ light laughter ] that's the only time. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i know what you're -- >> so, i told her there was a a work party that we had to go to. and she said okay. and i was laughing inside the whole time we were driving over there, 'cause she was texting someone. i'm like, "you have no idea what's about to happen." >> jimmy: i got -- i was so nervous when i asked my wife. >> what happened? >> jimmy: well, i kept saying to myself, "don't cry first, let her cry." [ laughter ] because i knew -- i get very emotional. i'm like boehner. [ laughter ] i'm very emotional. so i went down on one knee and i was like -- i immediately started crying. [ light laughter ] [ crying ] when too people love each other. she was like -- she thought i was having a stroke. oh my god, are you okay? >> do you smell toast? are you all right? if you say yes, will you stop this? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you smell toast? that is -- yeah, that's a sign that you're having a stroke. >> yeah, i did not -- i was not like -- [ mickey mouse voice ] will you make me the happiest man -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> so, we got a room at the
chateau marmont. i told her there was going to be a party there. i had the hotel. i go, "just buy a crap ton of wildflowers, just throw them all over the room." >> jimmy: aw. [ light laughter ] >> so we walk into this room -- i don't know why that's funny, sir, that was romantic! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, can we get a a crap ton of flower? >> how dare you! how dare you diminish my love! >> jimmy: he had a great, very expensive crap ton of flowers! >> yeah, man! we're talking about love up here! you know what? you can go [ bleep ] yourself! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, hey, come on now! you take that back! >> no, you take that back! [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: good. ♪ >> so, i did. i got down and did -- [ laughter ] but -- i'll just go back into the story. >> jimmy: and she said -- she said yeah. >> she said yes. now, she -- her mother, who i'd been plotting with for a couple weeks, gave me this family heirloom of a ring, which i didn't have.
so i had to give her a candy ring. i gave her this candy ring. but of course, immediately, i had to soil it with, like, "this isn't the real ring!" like, i didn't want her to think, "oh, you're trying to be romantic and be a cheapskate." >> jimmy: this type of thing? >> no, i feel this fits more like -- [ mickey mouse voice ] will you make me the happiest man -- >> jimmy: that would be really creepy. that would be the creepiest thing ever. >> so, she said yes and now we're getting married next year. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's so exciting. >> it's so nice! >> jimmy: that's the greatest thing. so happy for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're doing your standup. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: now, the name of your tour is the "funcomfortable" tour. >> "funcomfortable" tour, yes. >> jimmy: it rolls off the tongue. >> "funcomfortable" tour. >> jimmy: "funcomfortable." so, how did you come up with "funcomfortable"? >> um, it's -- do you know mike birbiglia? a comic named mike birbiglia? >> jimmy: i love mike birbiglia. >> birbiglia's a great stand-up, and he said something to me a couple years ago that resonated. he said, "i go to a place where i feel uncomfortable and that's where i write from." so i started telling these stories that i should never tell in public about just embarrassing things that i've
done. and that's kind of what the genesis of it was. so, there are a lot of stories in there that i shouldn't be saying in public that people are paying to see. >> jimmy: if you want to check out where he's playing -- you're playing toronto. i love toronto. >> yeah, it's canada. practice france. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: practice france. funcomfortabletour.com. go check out chris hardwick. also your show "@midnight" -- >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: is currently airing at 11:00. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, but next week -- i know it's confusing. next week we'll be back at midnight. 'cause trevor noah is taking over "the daily show." >> jimmy: ah, good man. >> we're gonna go back to midnight. >> jimmy: well, you do a great job. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: chris hardwick, everybody. check out "@midnight" on comedy central. and for tickets to go see him on tour, you go to funcomfortabletour.com! big grams performs for us next! [ talking over each other ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ show us your game face at kohl's fall for you sale.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ flew too high fell in the sun ♪ ♪ i'm just a coolest put atlanta on the map i whip the yellow cadillac i like my seats way back ♪ ♪ i bust the sun roof open beams hit the braves cap call me chief noc-a-homa you can't beat it with a bat ♪ ♪ droppin' bombs atomic dog i could never chase the cat keep the spotlight on me ♪ ♪ they will never fade to black ooh if i speak it then i mean it ooh ♪ ♪ i will never take it back my demeanor's like a king i'm leavin' in the trap ♪ ♪ melting the ice oh
we fell in the sun love ain't no surprise we fell in the ♪ ♪ we fell in the we fell in the sun love ♪ ♪ once upon a time there was a boy named daddy fat heard he grew into a man ♪ ♪ and put his family on his back had a master plan da vinci code nobody couldn't crack ♪ ♪ even though when times got difficult he kept on slangin rap ♪ ♪ servin' nothin' but that gas cause the walls are full of plaques ♪ ♪ and not the regular unleaded or the mid we got the pack we extra-terrestrial ♪ ♪ extraordinary in the center of your solar system shinin' on the daily ♪ ♪ melting the ice we fell in the sun love
ain't no surprise ♪ ♪ we fell in the we fell in the we fell in the sun love ♪ ♪ shine like a second at the sun but it's too hot it don't matter where you're from lose your cool now ♪ ♪ dealt this dope from atl to new york dealt this dope from atl to new york ♪ ♪ shine like a second at the sun but it's too hot don't matter where you're from lose your cool now ♪ ♪ dealt this dope from atl to new york dealt this dope from atl to new york ♪ ♪ oh yeah talk about a vitamin d overdose and i do mean d ♪ ♪ melting the ice oh yeah we fell in the sun
love ain't no surprise ♪ ♪ we fell in the we fell in the we fell in the sun love we fell in the ♪ ♪ we fell in the sun we fell in the we fell in the we fell in the sun love ♪ ♪ we fell in the we fell in the sun we fell in the we fell in the sun love ♪ >> big grams album in stores now. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! that's what i'm talkin' about. that's how to do it right there. thank you so much. thank you so much. oh, fantastic. big grams! [ cheers and applause ]
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to joseph gordon-levitt, chris hardwick, big grams, micky dolenz, and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you so much for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- anne hathaway, from "gotham," ben mckenzie, pizza masters francis garcia and sal basille, featuring the 8g band with stephen perkins. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. after pope francis became the first pontiff to address the joint session of congress today, he went to meet with a group of homeless people. that's right.