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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  October 8, 2015 12:37am-1:38am PDT

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stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- joel mchale, a performance from musician and author, sara bareilles, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's wonderful to hear. in that case let's get to the news. former president bill clinton said yesterday that, "donald trump's campaign has a certain 'macho appeal.'"
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and then trump said, "whoever this 'macho' is, i want him deported. [ laughter ] i don't like the sounds of this macho." donald trump is reportedly planning new campaign events that will feature his wife melania. it's a good chance for trump to connect with female voters and a great chance for melania to escape. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's right, trump wants to campaign alongside his wife to help close his empathy gap with female voters. because nothing gets woman on your side quite like your third wife. [ laughter ] [ applause ] hillary clinton revealed yesterday that she sent a copy of her book "hard choices" to most of the republican presidential candidates. ironically giving those candidates a very easy choice. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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anderson cooper will moderate next tuesday's first democratic primary debate on cnn. he'll pose tough questions like, "who are you?" and, "who are you? [ laughter ] if that's you, then who is he? [ laughter ] i thought he was you? anyways, my next hundred questions are for hillary." [ laughter ] presidential hopeful bernie sanders reportedly had a secret meeting with new york mayor bill de blasio last month, and we happen to have an exclusive photo. [ laughter and applause ] toyota announced yesterday that they aim to have their own line of self- driving cars by 2020. the new toyota's will be so advanced, they will even be able to recall themselves. [ laughter ] "something is wrong. we need to go back to the garage.
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are you smoking a cigarette or is that me? this is bad. reverse, reverse." an iowa man named kevin mccarthy has received a barrage of angry tweets from users confusing him with the controversial speaker of the house contender of the same name. and things are even rougher for utah plumber, osama bin cosby. [ laughter ] good plumber, though. once you get by the name, he's a hell of a plumber. [ laughter ] the vatican has announced that pope francis will visit mexico next year. now that he's met all the catholics in america, he wants to see where they're from. [ laughter and applause ] crop experts in illinois are reportedly concerned that there will not be a strong enough pumpkin crop to fill the demands of both halloween and thanksgiving. but don't worry, your pumpkin
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spice lattes will be fine, because the chemical harvest was plentiful. [ laughter and applause ] that's right, experts are worried there's going to be a bad pumpkin crop, which is incidentally what donald trump asks for when he gets his hair cut. [ laughter ] a new study found that cats that are shown affection by humans are healthier than those who aren't, while humans who are shown affection by cats don't exist. [ laughter ] a new survey found that 2% of hotel guests have deliberately eavesdropped on people in a neighboring room, while 98% just heard everything. [ laughter ] no effort made. and finally, a youtube star has developed a selfie stick with a dildo attached so users can easily photograph their faces during orgasm.
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incidentally, a selfie stick with a dildo attached is also how you can describe most youtube stars. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] i am very excited about our guests. you know him as host of "the soup" on e!, my good friend joel mchale stops by tonight. [ cheers and applause ] looking forward to that. she is an amazing musician and song writer, and she has just written her first book, "sounds like me." sara bareilles is here. [ cheers and applause ] we're gonna talk to her. and then we're all very lucky because she's gonna perform a song from her new album "what's inside: songs from waitress." i'm very much looking forward to that. now before we move on, however, this -- this week russia launched military techs inside syria further escalating the conflict there, which has already displaced more than 4 million refugees. presidential candidates on the campaign trail have been debating the proper u.s. response to the refugee crisis which bring us to a segment we
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call, "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so to catch everybody up the war in syria has been dragging on for over four years. there's also a presidential campaign going on, so many republicans on the campaign trail have been using syria as a chance to criticize president obama, specifically to criticize his leadership skills. >> he thinks america should lead from behind. >> his philosophy of leading from behind -- >> when america does not lead, the world is a dangerous and a tragic place -- >> we should be this great country that's a great leader -- >> the president is the person who is supposed to be the leader. >> and the obama-clinton foreign policy -- of leading from behind, the whole world's on fire. >> seth: the whole world is on fire. [ light laughter ] and hopefully it won't burn down before this cruz supporter finds his pot of gold. [ laughter ] now, the conflict in syria has also led to a massive refugee
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crisis. and when it comes to the refugee crisis, republicans have been consistent that it's america's job to lead. here they are. >> this is fundamentally an issue that europe has to come to grips with. >> the europeans need to continue to step up here. >> europe is handling it. germany has been very generous so far, which is very surprising to me, to be honest with you. [ laughter ] >> very generous but also very surprising. trump can't even compliment someone without also insulting them. [ laughter ] i'd hate to see him on his birthday -- [ as trump ] melania, a cake. that is thoughtful in a way i did not think you were capable. [ laughter ] so why are those candidates so opposed to taking in refugees? some, like arkansas governor mike huckabee, is concerned they may be coming here for less than noble reasons. >> huckabee recently raised some eyebrows by asking this question, "are they really escaping tyranny, are they escaping poverty, or are they just coming because we've got cable tv?" [ audience groans ]
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>> seth: that's america. all the selling points of a roadside motel. [ laughter ] wait until they find out we have an ice machine. [ laughter ] that's not the only concern opponents of taking in refugees have, they're also worried that isis fighters may infiltrate the refugees and try to sneak into the u.s. along with them, even though there's no evidence of that happening. >> we cannot welcome everyone from -- who are seeking economic opportunity if we cannot guarantee that they're not terrorists. >> the jihadists, they want to infiltrate our nation. >> this could be one of the great military coups of all time. if they sent them to our country, young, strong people, and they turn out to be isis, i mean this could be a trojan horse. >> seth: that's the trojan horse you think is gonna take over the country? because i always thought the trojan horse that would lead to our downfall would be those self-driving cars, or amazon drones. [ laughter ] also, let's back up for a second, because there's one thing in particular that trump keeps saying about the refugees that deserves closer attention. >> if they send them to our
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country, young, strong people -- it looked like mostly men and they look like strong men. they're all men. and they're all strong-looking guys. there's so many men. and there's so many men that look strong. the first thing i said is, these are men, strong, strong, men. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, of course, trump isn't just upset about the men, it's also the absence of something else. >> there's so many men. i say, where are the women? there aren't that many women. there aren't that many women. you know what i'm saying? where are all the women? and they're all men. it's like, where are the women? [ laughter ] >> seth: trump is working this issue like a bouncer at a club works the door. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ as trump ]e how many are you? four dudes, no ladies, forget it. this is america. we don't import sausage. [ laughter ] so the republicans say we shouldn't be letting isis in, we should be fighting isis. and how should we do that? well, they say by training and sending weapons to anti-isis forces in the region. >> we have to arm and train our
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allies. >> we need to arm the kurds. >> i would start arming the kurds. >> seth: but in fact, the u.s. actually has been sending aid and weapons to anti-isis forces in iraq and syria, and it has not been going great. >> isis gains made possible with u.s. weapons. >> american-made weapons are falling into the hands of isis fighters in iraq. >> in all wars there are uncontrollable factors like wind, and this time it seemed to blow in isis' favor. an american delivered bundle intended to help fight isis in kobani apparently landed in the hands of the militants. >> seth: oh, my god, the wind joined isis. [ laughter ] here you are brave soldiers, fight for your freedom! son of a bitch. [ laughter ] so they want to send american weapons to opposition forces to fight isis which also has american weapons. another policy congress -- another policy congress and the obama administration tried was spending hundreds of millions of dollars training and equipping syrian rebels to fight isis in syria.
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how has that plan worked out? >> general austin, when senator carter was here before this committee in july he testified that were only about 60 syrian fighters that had been trained in our train to equip program and reinserted -- >> seth: 60 fighters? that doesn't sound like a lot. that can't be right. let's just see what general has to say. >> can you tell us what the total number of fighters remains? >> it's a small number. and the ones that are in the fight is -- we're talking four or five. [ laughter ] >> seth: four or five. so basically there are fewer u.s. trained syrian rebels than there are destiny's children. [ laughter ] don't forget letoya. also, give it up to general austin for winning the award for the most honest answer at a congressional hearing. [ cheers and applause ]
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are you sure you don't want to round it up to 10, general? nope, four. what about four or five? [ laughter ] okay. the point is the war in syria is a complex problem with no easy answers. and so far a lot of things the obama administration and congress have tried have not worked. the one clear cut thing we could do right now would be to take in more refugees. we can't keep saying we're the best country in the world and be surprised people wanna come here. they're just fleeing a war-torn region hoping for a better life somewhere. and that life is in america, a country with cable tv and a pool. [ laughter ] this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the moment's arrived. the best iphone ever is here. and you're all like... and then you remember there's verizon. which is great, because if you're going to get the best iphone wouldn't you want to have the best network?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back everybody! and please, give it up for the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] thank you guys for being here, as always. any baseball fans in the house tonight? [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. there is a wild card game tonight, so basically the play-in game between the pittsburgh pirates and the chicago cubs. i will have happened by the time this airs. i am rooting for the pirates. my dad is from pittsburgh. and i grew up a red sox fan, but a couple of years ago the pirates started winning again, and i jumped on that bandwagon hard.
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[ laughter ] like, my ankles still hurt from the speed with which i jumped on that bandwagon. [ laughter ] but i'm also torn, because as a baseball fan, it's very hard not to -- and especially as a red sox fan, it's hard not to also root for the cubs. i was born in evanston, illinois, i went to college in chicago. i got my start on improv stages in chicago, i have a lot of friends who are cubs fans. so i will also -- i guess what i'm saying is, i'll jump on that cubs bandwagon. [ laughter ] you beat my beloved pirates, you just know that i'm on board. [ laughter ] but anyways, again, we don't know the outcome, but those of you who are watching this as it airs, you know. and just look in my face for a second and see if i'll be happy or sad. [ light laughter ] okay, cool! all right, let's move on. these days, slang terms are evolving so fast that sometimes it is hard to keep up. so, we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer in a segment we're calling, "seth explains teen slang."
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right. our first teen slang-term is, "netflix and chill." [ laughter ] now, this is a real term, that is slang for going to your boyfriend or girlfriend's house to have sex. [ light laughter ] for example, "i'm putting on my nice boxers because allie is coming to netflix and chill. hashtag, orange is the new boink." [ laughter ] now, that's a term you may have heard before, but there are some new terms that are just starting to become popular with teens. we just went over, "netflix and chill," here's a variation on that called, "newspaper and sulk." now, it's a term that means when your partner comes over, but despite your best efforts, you don't have sex. [ laughter ] let's see it in a sentence. "debbie came over, but her bird had just died, so instead we newspapered and sulked." [ laughter ] see our next term. it's, "amazon package." let's see what it means. "when you bring a guy home and his package turns out to be mostly padding." [ laughter and applause ] let's see it in a sentence.
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"brendan and i fooled around until i realized he had an amazon package, plus it wasn't the color i ordered." [ laughter and applause ] up next it's, "froho." let's see what it means. "a girl who flirts with a guy just to get some frozen yogurt." [ laughter and applause ] for example, "tessa said that if i took her to pinkberry, we could make out in my car. hashtag froho." [ laughter and applause ] moving on it's, "muck puppet." let's see what it means. when you say something that sounds dirty but isn't. for example, "last night i went down to a police lineup to finger some criminals. wait, i didn't mean it like that. hashtag muck puppet." [ laughter and applause ] moving on, "it's empty subway car." let's see the definition. "a very attractive single person you purposely avoid because there has to be a good reason they're single." [ laughter ] for example, "debbie is an empty subway car. absolutely beautiful, but she can't stop talking about her
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dead bird." [ laughter and applause ] up next it's, "the martian." it's the term for a friend who gets separated from your group, but you decide it would be too much of a pain in the ass to find them so you leave them. [ laughter and applause ] "we lost greg on the second day of coachella, but it's too late. he's a martian now." [ laughter and applause ] moving on, it's, "pumpkin spice." a noun meaning, "a dude who only looks attractive in the fall." [ laughter ] let's see it in a sentence. "dan's legs looked pasty in the summer, but now that he's rocking the flannels, he looks like a hot lumberjack. hashtag pumpkin spice." [ laughter and applause ] and let's see our final term, it's "droopsie daisy." it's a noun meaning when a guy is about to have sex but then loses his boner. [ laughter and applause ] let's see it in a sentence. "debbie finally got over her
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dead bird, but now i can't stop thinking about that little guy. hashtag droopsie daisy." [ laughter and applause ] that was, "seth explains teen slang." we'll be right back with joel mchale. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey, what are you doing? i got 17 months until i can upgrade to the new iphone 6s. i'm building a time machine so i don't have to wait. with sprint, i never have to wait. i get to upgrade to the newest iphone right away, whenever it comes out. seriously? seriously! i've got to switch to sprint. (ding) what's that? my lunch. it's just leftovers from tomorrow night. the world's best offer on iphone 6s! get iphone 6s as low as $1 a month, when you trade in your iphone 6, and with iphone forever, get a new iphone every year. forever. (trouble hearing on the phone, visit sprintrelay.com)
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our first guest tonight is an actor and comedian who you know from the show "community." and from films such as "ted" and "the informant." he's also host of "the soup" which airs friday nights at 10:00 on e! please welcome joel mchale. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: hi, friend! so nice to see you. >> thank you. just keep it coming, guys. >> seth: yeah. >> i am super-insecure. how is your finger? >> it's really good. thank you. >> you don't even know what i'm talking about. >> seth: nobody knows what you're talking about. >> never mind. apparently you don't watch the other show. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm very happy you're here. >> i'm happy to be here. >> seth: you and i have some stuff in common. we've done some gigs that not a lot of people have done both of. >> yeah. we're also super white. >> seth: super white. [ light laughter ] super white dudes. we both hosted the espys. >> yes we did. >> seth: the espn sports awards. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: and we have also both hosted the white house correspondents dinner. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. you were so nice to me, because i called seth trembling. i had ground my teeth down to nubs before the white house correspondents dinner, and i said, how -- tell me how this works. you were like, "don't [ bleep ] it up." [ laughter ]
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>> seth: i might have hung up even before i said up. i remember this. >> he didn't hear me say up. yes, and as you said to me on the phone, it is the strangest audience of all time. >> seth: yes. describe to people what it's like standing up there on that day. >> it is -- when you're with the president. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> when you're hosting a dinner. >> seth: the real president. the real president. >> you look out into the audience and it's like looking into a wax museum. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> because you recognize everybody. >> seth: yup. >> and this is -- >> seth: also, people in d.c. look a little waxy. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] they're ghouls. [ light laughter ] they're not good-looking. they're there for their brain. [ light laughter ] it's better to have it around halloween. >> seth: yeah. >> then you get up and first you have dinner with the first lady for two hours. >> seth: right. >> so you can't even prepare for
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the show. >> seth: that's very important. i'm assuming it was similar. given my druthers, i would just be pacing back and forth for two hours. >> yeah. shooting bourbon like you did before the show here. >> seth: absolutely. >> you read through your jokes. but instead you have dinner with one of the lovelier people in the world. >> seth: yup. >> the first lady. and you're making small talk like, yeah i watch "modern family" too. anyway. [ laughter ] >> seth: i also talk to her about "modern family." >> i'm sure. >> seth: she's a real "modern family" head. >> then the president opens for you. >> seth: yes. he goes first. >> the president goes first, so he is your opener. >> seth: yes. >> which i like to put on any show i'm in, the president opened for this guy. >> seth: and the president is super funny. >> which he told me too. he's super funny. no matter how you feel about politics, the guy can tell a joke. >> seth: and i want to point out, he's so funny he should close. it's crazy. >> yes. he's also the president. >> seth: yeah. that's how smart he is. he's the one who said, no, i'll go first. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: how many gigs is where he is not the last speaker? >> yeah.
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>> seth: well, it's so crazy. because they're like, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the president. up next, this guy hosted "the soup." >> right. [ laughter ] >> seth: he is so deep in cable, we don't even know what channel he's on. [ laughter ] i don't know why he got this gig. someone dropped out. >> he absolutely kills it. you don't know -- you're the last thing up before all the ghouls, the politicians in general. >> seth: yeah. >> they go to their parties. and all they want to do -- they want to go to a party. >> seth: yeah. >> and they want to get their picture taken with the cast of "glee." so you are the last thing. you told me, make it quick. >> seth: yeah. >> and you got trump in yours. >> seth: i was lucky, i had trump. >> yes. who has a great sense of humor. >> seth: oh, so good. [ laughter ] when it cut to him and the audience during mine, he looked like the old man in the mountain. just a stern profile of a face that's not moving. [ light laughter ]
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>> and for you, you were like jackpot. >> seth: oh, i was -- well again, you just want something very recent to happen -- >> yeah. >> seth: and you're not telling jokes about stuff that was -- so for me he was doing all that birth certificate stuff leading right up to it. >> in theory, if he becomes president, you're a dead man. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> they are going to send a seal team in here. >> i won't even see it coming. >> no. i can see gizmo with a hood over your head. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> leave the jokes here. you'll be great. you're hilarious. [ laughter ] this is the most classy prison i could find for you. >> seth: there is a wonderful crowd in here this evening. >> an amazing prison. it's incredible. >> seth: how is it - you -- and then -- >> then the espys. right? >> seth: so here you are. the espys. >> here's the thing. is that the white house dinner people, they are so rich and powerful, they never have to laugh again. >> seth: right. >> they're too rich. they don't care. and then the espy crowd, which
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is also super rich, powerful athletes never have to laugh again, but the difference is they're all wearing sunglasses. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it sounds like you're talking to a bunch of blind people who also can't hear anything, because they're not reacting to your jokes at all. [ light laughter ] and they told me to look at the people behind them. they're actually enjoying their life. [ laughter ] so my trump in that one was really brett favre where i said, "hey, are you sitting next to an older man with unflattering dad genes?" congratulations! you're next to nfl legend brett favre. [ light laughter ] super not happy. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> then i was making fun of the name of the redskins, and i kept repeating it, and they cut away to peyton manning, and he had a look like he had just smelled a fart or he was just confused. [ light laughter ] then i just threw this papa john's pizza at him and he was like, oh, thank god. thank god.
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so you can't rely on them to laugh at your jokes. >> seth: yeah. i did have one, a guy from the new orleans saints. i remember the day i did it. i remember he came up afterwards and he said, man i had never heard of you before. when you came out, i said, who is this? i've never seen this guy, but i thought you were great. i was going to say, without the preamble, that's a compliment. [ laughter ] >> how many years had you been on "saturday night live" at this point? >> seth: like a whole weekend. [ laughter ] >> you were a ball boy up there. you talked and everything. that's great. i'm not going to kill you, i've decided. you're welcome. >> seth: you and i share something else. we share a love of video games. >> a kidney. >> seth: yes. you are a halo guy. >> yes i am. >> seth: "halo 5" coming out. >> yes, it is. >> seth: are you excited about this? >> i don't love my kids anymore. [ laughter ] >> seth: do they know? is it like daddy getting sent away when a new halo comes out?
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>> when "halo 4" came out with the dreamy "nathan fillion" in it i was like, my life is complete. i don't need to do anything anymore. and now master chief might be dead, but he's gone awol we think. [ laughter ] now they are looking for him. i don't know what's going to happen next. the world is very big. it's like "game of thrones" but you get to play it. and you know -- there's laser cannons. so i still get very, very excited. the world is so big and the story is so good. >> seth: are your kids excited? do your kids like halo? are your kids into it as well? >> they don't like killing as much as i do, aliens. [ light laughter ] they play lego dimensions, which is more of a kid game and i'm also in it. >> seth: okay. oh, you're presented in the game? >> yeah. i'm literally in my video. my kids were excited about it, for like, 30 seconds. it was so great. and i was like, you know other
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daddies don't do this? and they were like, "we don't care, dad." [ laughter ] but i have taken that lego dimensions and i put the halo on top of it and it's like pigs in a blanket inside my xbox one. but yeah, they love those. they do play a lot of games. because we can't really parent them. [ light laughter ] >> seth: right, you let the council raise them. >> right. yes, and i feel like they're really good coordinated with their fingers now. >> seth: so when are you getting into it on "halo 5?" when is the official day? >> oh, i don't know. october 27th. [ laughter ] but yes, i'm very obsessed. >> seth: bye, boys. >> what's your game of choice? >> seth: i'm like a madden. >> "halo 5?" >> seth: madden or fifa guy. i like to play sports. but we recently -- my wife and i recently had a conversation about maybe how that's not the best use of my time. [ laughter ] >> you host a show every night! >> seth: we came to a conclusion together, that it's not the best use of my time. and it was both of us. and that's the great part about it. >> really? [ laughter ] you are a terrible liar.
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>> seth: i know. >> but your face has gone -- >> seth: it's true. i'm so happy about it. [ laughter ] but now i use my time differently. it's better. everything is better now, joel. have fun with your video games. my life is better than yours. [ laughter ] >> how often do you -- i'm repeating that in the mirror every morning. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: congratulations on season 11 of "the soup" as well. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: live from talladega. >> talladega on the 23rd. >> seth: "the soup" airs friday nights at 10:00 on e! check out "halo 5: guardians" available october 27th for xbox one. we'll be right back with sara bareilles. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (cole) alright listen up. we all know that directv's better at this whole tv thing. so, to beat them, we're gonna get bigger. we're gonna merge with cableworld. (exec 1) cableworld? i can't stand those guys. (exec 2) they're the worst. (exec 3) they're totally incompetent.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody! our next guest is a grammy nominated recording artist who just released her first book, "sounds like me: my life so far in song." she also has a new album "what's inside: songs from waitress" that will be available on november 6. please welcome to the show, sara bareilles. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome. i'm so happy to have you here. >> thank you. i'm so happy to be here. >> seth: i want to start right off by applauding you for your honesty because you admit in your book you agreed to write a book just so you can have that exciting glow of being someone who is working on a book. >> bragging rights.
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>> seth: bragging rights. >> we're all looking for them, right? >> seth: yeah. so you're talking about the period after you say yes to a book before you start working on the book so you can say to people, "i'm working on a book." >> yeah. basically. that lasted all of a couple months. >> seth: right. >> before i ever sat down and actually tried starting to write the book, which, as it turns out, is kind of challenging. >> seth: yes. [ light laughter ] everyone i know -- a lot of my friends have written books and they all have this really excited period where they're like, "wow, i can't believe i'm writing a book. it's going to be so much fun." and then you see them and they're just like -- ashen with the reality of writing a book. [ light laughter ] did you have that as well? did you romanticize the idea of what it was like to write a book? >> completely. >> seth: yeah. >> and in fact, i read all of your friends' books. and they are very good. i had this image of -- i'll get a cabin in upstate new york and a bassett hound or something. [ light laughter ] and you're like, no. no. >> seth: then i'll sleep and the bassett hound will finish the book. [ laughter ] >> but they don't type well. >> seth: they don't. they're terrible typers. >> not a lot of words per minute. >> seth: you can tell something
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is good there but ultimately the spelling is so bad. [ light laughter ] you know. it's so funny you said you read all those books, because that's the other thing that everyone who writes a memoir they like, then end up reading books to put off writing a book. >> of course. i've never read so much in my life. [ laughter ] >> seth: every time i have anything that i need to write, a writing thing i'm like -- i think, i what i need to do is do some reading. >> all you really need to do is read. yeah. >> seth: then when you read a good book, you're like, i got to do some more writing. you talk in this book about your life in music, and one of the things as somebody who came up, you had to sing in some very odd venues in the beginning. >> i did. >> seth: a lot of small, odd venues. >> you kind of take what you can get at the beginning. and i was in los angeles. i was recently graduated from ucla. and i would play anywhere. there was a kosher chinese restaurant. [ light laughter ] >> seth: is that genghis khan? >> that's genghis kahn, yeah. >> seth: yeah. i've been there before, yeah. i guess there aren't a lot of kosher chinese restaurants. [ laughter ] >> i know. how many could there be? there's one and it was -- i have a lot of recordings from that particular venue.
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there was a big oversized -- i think used it to be a strip club. there are still stripper poles but like, no strippers. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's really sad. [ laughter ] like, what happened to the strippers? you don't want to ask. [ laughter ] >> there's a guy in the back. follow me. >> seth: you also talk about writing your first hit song and how it sort of came out of sitting down with a songwriter and being very frustrated with the kind of songs he wanted to write for you. >> there were a few of these moments that had happened. i think "love song" kind of came out of a culmination of a few years of feeling a lot of things about the way people felt about my music. people were very forthright with how much they didn't like what i did. [ light laughter ] really specific, actually, about what they thought i was doing wrong. but i got set up in all these co-writing meetings, which is an awesome way to make music, but i was too young and too naive and
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sort of didn't know who i was at that time, anyway. there was one in particular that i went to this guy's little cottage in santa monica and he slid a piece of paper across the table and he's like, "you can take any of these titles." i'm like, "i'm sorry?" they were like "2 good 4 u." >> seth: oh. >> they were like letters and numbers. and it wasn't. >> seth: no. that didn't. >> and he's like, i get you're young. you want to just do like something fun. it's like ♪ just have fun and then he's like walking out the door into the other room and he goes to record his own idea. >> seth: oh my goodness. [ light laughter ] it's called "just have fun." that was one of my favorite songs. [ light laughter ] >> doesn't sound like a fun -- >> seth: it's a really good song. >> that was really good. >> seth: that was my summer jam one year. [ light laughter ] obviously now you perform in nicer venues but you'll still have situations with technical difficulties. and you talk about -- is this true -- that when, when stuff has gone haywire, one of the
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ways you'll keep the audience engaged is you'll just start singing the little mermaid. >> your giving away my secret. >> seth: this is your secret. this is -- when this happens, it means that something's gone wrong. >> because i'm going to tell you why, right now. people love this song. [ light laughter ] people love -- they love the little mermaid. they love ariel. they love her wishes for her life. and they want to go on the ride with you. i'm telling you right now. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so if a speaker tips over and everybody's like, oh no. you can sing the little mermaid and everybody just comes back. >> i'm going to show you right now. >> seth: okay, great. >> audience. >> seth: oh my god. [ cheers and applause ] >> are you guys ready? do not make me look bad. this is like my series. [ light laughter ] ♪ look at this stuff ♪ isn't it neat [ light laughter ] ♪ wouldn't you think my collection's complete ♪ wouldn't you think i'm the girl ♪ ♪ a girl who has they love this part. ♪ everything yeah. [ light laughter ] and then you can just go on and on and on from there. >> seth: now, how often -- [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.
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thank god that worked. >> seth: i know. in all the times you've done it, have you ever heard a man's voice? [ light laughter ] >> no. >> seth: okay good. i didn't hear that many that time. >> well, the women are louder. >> seth: yeah. they are louder and more passionate about it. >> and harder, stronger. >> seth: they can remember lyrics better. you -- this is very exciting. talk about your show "waitress" which you have this -- you're going to do a song for us after this. >> yes. >> seth: so how did this come by? you wrote this musical, yes? >> i did. i joined this project about three years ago. i got approached by the director diane colins and had lunch in a restaurant in times square, and she told me about the movie which came out in 2007, which i hadn't seen at the time. and she's like, would you ever consider writing for a broadway musical? and i grew up on musical theater and had always imagined like, returning to the stage but i hadn't really considered it in
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this role. so i watched the movie and sort of fell in love with its message. it's very feminist but in an odd way. it's just a really beautiful story. and i said yes again, kind of like "i'm writing a musical." [ laughter ] and then cut to three years later where i'm like "i'm writing a musical!" [ light laughter ] >> seth: "i'm writing a book" is very different. >> yeah. >> seth: like when you said "i'm writing a book" earlier like, "i'm writing a book." but "i'm writing a musical" is a whole -- >> you have to be smart. you have to be virginia smart. yeah, yeah. >> seth: i'm very excited you're going to stick around and do a song from it. >> yes. >> seth: thank you so much. i can't wait. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with music from sara bareilles. ♪ from time in the service... those years
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: performing her new single, "she used to be mine" from her forthcoming album "what's inside: songs from waitress," out november sixth. please welcome back the very-talented sara bareilles. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ it's not simple to say that most days i don't recognize me ♪ ♪ that these shoes and this apron that place and it's patrons ♪ ♪ have taken more than i gave them it's not easy to know i'm not anything ♪ ♪ that i used to be although it's true i was never attention's sweet center ♪
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♪ i still remember that girl she's imperfect but she tries ♪ ♪ she is good but she lies she is hard on herself she is broken ♪ ♪ and won't ask for help she is messy but she's kind ♪ ♪ she is lonely most of the time she is all of this ♪ ♪ mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie she is gone but she used to be mine ♪
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♪ it's not what i asked for sometimes life just slips in through a back door ♪ ♪ and carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true ♪ ♪ and now i've got you and you're not what i asked for if i'm honest i know ♪ ♪ i would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two ♪ ♪ for the girl that i knew who'll be reckless just enough ♪ ♪ who'll get hurt but who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised ♪ ♪ and gets used by a man who can't love
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and then she'll get stuck ♪ ♪ and be scared of the life that's inside her ♪ ♪ getting stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her to fight just a little ♪ ♪ to bring back the fire in her eyes that's been gone but it used to be mine ♪ ♪ used to be mine she is messy but she's kind ♪ ♪ she is lonely most of the time
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she is all of this ♪ ♪ mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie she is gone but she used to be mine ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: sara bareilles, everyone! pick up, "sounds like me," now. and download "she used to be mine." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to joel mchale, sara bareilles everybody! and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening i'm carson daly. this is "last call" from skylark

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