tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC October 26, 2015 11:34pm-12:38am PDT
the comedian and actor is famous for being ruthless needling celebrities at awards show. some were surprised that the hollywood foreign press association invited him back. watch on nbc bay area on january 10th. get ready for some laughs. >> oh, yeah. >> he is pretty funny. and he is sharp with his humor. before we go, tuesday morning, how's it looking? >> going to be cloudier than the past couple of mornings. the possibility of drizzle in san francisco and the peninsula. through the day don't expect a ton of sunshine. temperatures will be cooler as well and maybe spotty showers in the north bay. best chance of rain on wednesday. 4:30 a-m. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests --
i am your host "trippy" fallon, and -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ keep clapping, you showoffs. [ laughter ] of course, you may have heard, i had yet another mishap. this time i injured my other hand right after getting an award from harvard. that's right. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] even when i get into harvard, i still embarrass my parents. you couldn't wait one night! you couldn't wait one night! [ applause ] i got the nicest messages from everyone over the weekend. fans sent me get well soon cards, while my hand doctor sent me a picture of his new ferrari. which is a really nice one. >> steve: top of the line. >> jimmy: it's really nice. guys, i want to say happy, happy birthday to hillary clinton, who turned 68 today. [ cheers and applause ]
happy birthday. asked what her favorite gift was, she said, "donald trump." [ laughter ] interesting. >> jimmy: happy birthday. i also saw this weekend that bill clinton and katy perry headlined a major event for hillary in iowa. bill asked katy how they could reach younger voters, while katy asked bill why they were the only two there. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> steve: follow my poll. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you bipartisan? [ laughter ] last week, you guys, joe biden announced that he will not be running for president. yeah. he made the announcement with president obama right by his side, and you could tell it was an emotional moment because at one point, obama actually gave biden a shoulder rub. [ laughter and applause ]
let me get in there. i want to get in there. you guys, did you see last week democratic candidates, lincoln chafee and jim webb announced that they are dropping out of the race. which raises the question, what if two trees fall in the forest and there's nobody there to hear it? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] is that right? that's right, everybody, lincoln chafee announced he's dropping out of the race last week, and one of the biggest problems he faced was a lack of name recognition. okay? and so it was even apparent, this is real. it was apparent at the speech where he said he was quitting. listen to the guy introducing lincoln chafee. this is real, we didn't make this up. >> ladies and gentlemen, governor lincoln "chaffy." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you got to be kidding me, man. the man you've been waiting for, licorice coffee. [ laughter ]
if he had any second thoughts, right, there i made the right decision. >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: over on the republican side, the candidates will hold another debate this week. it will take place in colorado. [ cheers ] which will get weird when stoners see ben carson speak and like, "whoa, what's he smoking?" [ laughter and applause ] ah, this made me laugh. yesterday our pal chris christie, did you hear about this? our pal chris christie was kicked out of the amtrak quiet car for talking too loudly. yep. christie on a train, marking the first time the little engine said, "i don't think i can, i don't think -- i don't think i can." [ applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: that's right. chris christie was kicked out of an amtrak quiet car. apparently he was laughing a a little too loud when he heard i injured my other hand. well, there you go. we have a great show.
give it up for the roots, everybody! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody, welcome to the show. we had a week off the show, and i did have a great week off. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: did you have a good week off? >> steve: fantastic, we went to my nephew's wedding. it was fantastic. >> jimmy: i did -- i went to memphis, tennesee. [ cheers ] yeah, it was great. i gave our pal, justin timberlake -- i inducted him into the memphis music hall of fame. [ cheers and applause ] it was great, it was well-deserved. really fun, i love memphis. and then i went to puerto rico. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: to dorado beach. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah, it was really -- oh yeah, yeah. and i had a great time. and then on saturday -- >> steve: what happened saturday? >> jimmy: saturday i went to -- can you zoom in on this?
this is the only band-aids that we have in the house. i don't have adult band-aids anymore. we don't have them. we just have them for the babies. so anyway, saturday i was inducted into the harvard lampoon and given the elmer award. it was a big deal to me. [ cheers and applause ] i love -- i respect the harvard lampoon. we had a parade in cambridge, i was on chariot and i had a a horse take me through harvard square, and i was waving to everybody. it was really fun. and so props to the belmont high school band, who marched us through, they were great. [ cheers and applause ] and the cambridge police department, who escorted us through. so then later that night, they're going to do a laser light show, that's a thing, with the harvard band. so like, they're out there and they're unbelievably great. and there's lasers going with smoke, it just got dark, it's probably round 8:30 or something, i don't know what time it was. and so i go, that's cool. maybe i'll present them with some type of award, because it was nice for the band to do.
they don't get paid for this. so i go, i'm going to give them a bottle of jagermeister. and i'll just give that -- i'll present that to the band like that's an award for them. so somebody gets me a bottle of jagermeister. they get it for me, so i'm out in the street. i get it, and apparently some girl was going to kneel down and give me a flower or something. so she knelt down, i didn't see her, and i was like -- >> steve: boing! >> jimmy: i was like, what? this hand is already gone. so i was like -- so i threw the bottle and then i just landed on broken glass. and -- [ audience aws ] oh, yeah. and pools of blood everywhere. and i go, ha, ha, ha, i'm laughing. no. but turns out it wasn't that bad. anyways, i took more pictures, i put my hand in my pocket. and then i went inside, i looked at the ent -- i'm sorry, the emt. there's an ear nose and throat doctor there. [ laughter ] >> steve: i know you're hand's not right -- >> jimmy: he couldn't help me. he couldn't do anything. couldn't help me at all. he says i have perfect hearing. >> steve: really? what? >> jimmy: i figured i'd get it checked while he was there.
the emt said, "you should probably go to the hospital, see if there's any glass in your hand." so i went to the hospital. like, i'm so used to going to hospitals. it's kind of fun. i went in, and everything's all right and all great. so, a couple band-aids, they're going, oh, i'm fine. so thank you to the lampoon -- [ cheers and applause ] --the harvard band, the belmont high school marching band. the crimson dance team, jonathan adler, mel horan and everyone over there, i had the best, the best time. and the then i got home yesterday from boston, and my wife was like, "i'm so lucky i'm married to you." and -- [ laughter ] i'm like, limping in. bandaged and everything. so i wanted to show you this video. this is -- i have two little daughters. one's two and one's ten months. so the 10-month-old, i'm trying to teach her how to say yes and dada. you know, she kind of says dada, or she said it before. it sounds like a-da-da, which counts. and so this is her. this is frances. >> yes.
>> frannie, can you say, yes? oh wow, frannie. frannie, can you say, yes? yes, daddy, yes! wait a minute. what are you doing? frannie, say, dada. [ raspberries ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on! >> steve: come on! no respect. >> jimmy: show some respect! >> steve: no respect. >> jimmy: i work hard. [ applause ] unbelievable. guys, it's monday, we're so happy to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up. giant. tomorrow night, our pal drew barrymore will be here. [ cheers and applause ] she has a movie, she has a new book. i love her so much. we're going to play a game called "pup quiz" together. it involves puppies. it's really fun. it's trivia and puppies. plus we have music from 5 seconds of summer then later this week, sandra bullock, rod stewart, will forte, kate upton and alex rodriguez will all be dropping by.
[ cheers and applause ] and on friday, dana carvey and demi lovato will be joining us. you don't want to miss those guys. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a fantastic show tonight. some surprises, maybe, too. anyway, this guy's a very, very funny man. every time he comes on he's unbelievably great and has a a new memoir called "david spade: almost interesting." [ laughter ] it's actually really interesting, and it's so him. it's written in his voice. it's like having a conversation with david, he gives all the scoop and all the stories about -- eddie murphy stories and the chris farley stories. anyway, it's a great book. david spade is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] what are you doing? >> steve: that's his doctor's car. >> jimmy: that's my doctor's car, yeah. plus, we love it when he stops by. the one and only mike tyson is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and this guy's a professional. this guy is the best.
>> steve: he's a pro. >> jimmy: he's talented. he's a pro. he's the best. we love him, blake shelton is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] "reloaded." hey, guys, i'm excited, because we're about to play a brand new game. it's time for "spin the microphone"! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ spin the microphone spin the microphone ♪ >> jimmy: all right. before we begin i'm going to need some people to play with. so please, welcome the coaches of nbc's "the voice," adam levine, gwen stefani, pharrell williams and blake shelton! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> that was really nice. >> very nice. >> jimmy: adam levine, come on. nice to see you. >> no problem. no problem.
>> i totally forgot about that. >> jimmy: yeah. guys, thank you for being here. we're about to play a game of "spin the microphone." it's a brand new game. >> okay. >> jimmy: basically, it's a a musical version of spin the bottle. here's how it works, one us will spin this microphone here, whoever it lands on has to draw a card from this stack. each card has a song title on it. if you want to sing it yourself, go ahead, but you also have the power to pick someone else at the table to perform it, instead. >> now those are some new rules. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a big deal. >> it wasn't like that when i was young. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where are the voices at? if you don't knothe wos, the lyrics are going to be written on cue cards. it should be easy for everybody. if you don't know the song at all, you just got to wing it. okay, sound good? >> okay. >> jimmy: okay good, here we go. >> the stupidest game i've ever played. >> jimmy: thank you, blake. [ laughter ] always great having you here, man. all right. here we go. this is -- i'll spin first. >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> this is not. this is real. >> jimmy: oh! hmm. [ cheers and applause ]
which one is this? i really want to sing. [ laughter ] so i can just pick? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i want to give it to adam levine. >> what is it? >> jimmy: oh, it's "oops! i did it again." [ cheers and applause ] need the words? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] come on! go up there onstage. you have to know this. this is britney, baby. >> it's not so much about whether i know it. >> jimmy: yeah, you definitely know it. do it and -- >> hello. >> jimmy: oh, that's adam. do it now. [ cheers ] do it -- >> you already look stupid. [ laughter ] you haven't even started. >> jimmy: roots, want to give him a note. ♪ >> oh, yeah. okay. ♪ yeah, huh where's my snare? ♪ oops i did it again i played with your heart i'm lost in the game
ooh baby baby ♪ ♪ oops you think i'm in love i'm sent from above i'm not that innocent ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> aww! take that, america! >> jimmy: thank you very much. i knew you knew that song, yeah. thank you, adam levine. adam since you just sang that, you can spin it this time. >> doing my walk of shame right now. >> jimmy: that was fantastic. you can spin it around and then hopefully it lands on you and then you can sing the next one, too. >> oh yeah, that would be great. i hope that happens. >> oh, wow. >> awkward. >> jimmy: you pick the song. >> okay. so am i supposed to say it out loud. >> jimmy: yeah. you can say what song it is and if you're going to sing it or not. >> i'm definitely not singing this. blake is definitely going to sing this one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what you get. that's what you get for being a
a wise guy. >> what is it? >> "ymca," which is right up your alley! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! oh, that's perfect. that's fantastic! fantastic! >> you happy? >> jimmy: have you ever sang this before, blake? "ymca"? i think i've seen you sing it at stadiums. [ laughter ] >> that would imply that you've actually been to one of my shows. so, no, you haven't. >> jimmy: i've been to your shows. >> you haven't been to any of my shows. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> yeah! ♪ ♪ young man there's no need to feel down i said young man pick yourself off the ground ♪ ♪ i said, young man 'cause you're in a new town there's no need to be unhappy ♪ >> here we go! ♪ it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a y-m-c-a ♪
♪ you can have a good meal it was meant to enjoy you can hang out with all the boys ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ y-m-c-a [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ah! that was nice. that was nice. [ laughter ] that was nice, blake. >> it was awful. >> jimmy: that was fantastic -- [ slide whistle ] [ boing ] >> jimmy: you know what that means? >> it sounds like an erection. it sounded like an erection. >> whoa! [ slide whistle ] [ boing ] >> jimmy: you're right, it does. yeah. >> somebody has an erection. >> jimmy: that's what happens when blake shelton sings "ymca." [ laughter ] it's time for. >> what is happening? >> jimmy: guilty. guilty. "oops, i did it again." [ slide whistle ] [ boing ] [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: all right. time for the duet round. blake, you spin around, and this time get to choose a a partner to sing with you. >> i really hope it lands on gwen. 'cause i made her look so stupid, having me sing that song. >> i nailed it! >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] why did you do that? why did you do that? wait. do you choose or i choose? >> ah -- you wish. >> oh, my god. >> this is best night of my life. >> i want pharrell to do this song because it's called "it takes two." >> jimmy: who are you going to sing with? >> this a duet, if i got to do "it takes two," then jimmy's got to do it with me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy! jimmy! >> jimmy: all right. i can do it. give me a microphone. >> here we go! >> jimmy: use the mic stand or take it out? >> it's whatever you want to do. ♪
♪ yeah wow yeah wow yeah wow yeah wow ♪ ♪ i'm gonna rock right now i'm rob base and i came to get down ♪ ♪ i'm not internationally known but i'm known to rock the microphone ♪ ♪ because i get stupid i mean outrageous stay away from me if you're contagious ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm the winner no i'm not the loser to be an m.c. is what i choose 'a ♪ ♪ ladies love me girls adore me i mean even the ones who never saw me ♪ ♪ like the way that i rhyme at a show the reason why man i don't know ♪ ♪ so let's go 'cause it takes two to make a thing go right ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, wow. >> the way that i rhyme on the show. >> yeah. >> when i don't eat, vmo, so let's go, bro. >> jimmy: all right, there we go. unbelievable. all right. >> that was so good. >> jimmy: we have time for one more duet. probably want to give the mic a a spin. that was good. >> i feel like you used your upper register on that one.
it was very raspy and had a a really good vibe to it. thank you. >> jimmy: thanks, coach. [ laughter ] >> god, this game's stupid. >> jimmy: no it's -- [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry. >> it was on adam. >> it's like, right there. my bad. >> there you go. >> jimmy: no, you can go up again, if you want. >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: well you're going up either way. so don't worry about this, blake. >> yeah, because i feel like it would be really cool to see gwen sing "hotline bling." [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, yes, yes! yes, yes! >> along with -- >> oh, come on! >> jimmy: yeah! come on. "hotline bling." you know drake right? it's fantastic! >> do you know it? >> i mean i don't know it good, but -- >> great. this is going to be awesome, then. [ laughter ] >> wait, wait, wait. ♪ you used to call me on my cell phone late night when you
need my love ♪ ♪ call me on my cell phone ♪ >> bling. ♪ late night when you need my love and i know when that hotline bling ♪ >> bling. ♪ that can only mean one thing ♪ >> bling. ♪ i know when that hotline bling ♪ >> bling. ♪ that can only mean one thing ever since i left the cowboy ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's it, bling. >> bling. bling. bling. that's all the time we have for "spin the microphone." my thanks to adam levine, gwen stefani, pharrell williams and blake shelton. stick around we'll be right back with david spade. bling. ♪ bling. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
franco: lenny, they're still booing! lenny: look. look, here, crouch down a little. lenny: rockstar 101. back to back. lenny: classic. it's getting a little weird. rated teen. playstation because now i've got pantene i knshampoo and conditioner hair, but i'm never gonna stop. the pro-v formula locks moisture inside my hair and the damage from 100 blow-dries is gone. pantene. strong is beautiful.
"almost interesting," it comes out tomorrow. it is truly funny. please welcome david spade, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we love you, man. we love you. >> look at that. >> jimmy: we know you from the cover of the book. >> yeah. >> jimmy: welcome, welcome back to the show. thanks for being here, my friend. >> great to see you, buddy. >> jimmy: we didn't talk about the snl 40th last time you were here did we? >> we talked a little but we never finished. i remember the 40th anniversary was a lot of fun. i got to chat with you a lot there. >> jimmy: yeah, you were great. >> surprising to see kim and kanye. do you remember they were there floating around? >> jimmy: yeah. >> kim and kanye were sitting in front of me. the first thing i thought was, this is the only place on earth i thought i could escape these two for three hours. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: right, yeah. >> where do they fit in the puzzle, you know? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but i go, when they make fun of you in asketch, it doesn't count being a cast member. but, you know, whatever. no one explained that. [ laughter ] so -- [ cheers and applause ] so -- but honestly -- [ applause ] but they were there. and i was like, you know, i was on the show six years. that's great. you can sit in front of me. [ laughter ] and then, i was only six years. so i thought, i got it. i got it. [ laughter ] but then, i did this buh-bye sketch. >> jimmy: oh yeah. >> 'cause they were trying to cram me in there. you know, higgins on the show, i called him. i go, "hey, what if i did buh-bye, like, you're leaving an airplane, but people are just leaving the sketch? like an easy way to, like, do to it and cram me in." he's like, "fine." >> jimmy: and it was a famous sketch. >> famous sketch, sort of. [ light laughter ] so i go, i sort of pictured it in the hallway. you know when they do sketches and the sketch is over, you go out in the hallway and you do the little bit out there. but we did it on the stage of the "californians" set. so we do that bit. >> jimmy: you had all big -- it was all big celebrities. >> yeah. taylor swift and kerry washington -- >> jimmy: bradley cooper >> anyway, i write them all in
this bit also and to be nice, it's sort of a group effort. they're all like, sure, sure, sure. meanwhile, they couldn't care less. it was sort of jury duty. whatever. they had to do it. [ laughter ] so i'm gonna -- they do the sketch. i'm like buh-bye, it sort of doesn't make any sense. fine. but we all went along with it. and so during the sketch, you know, bradley cooper kisses betty white and all that stuff. so, when they leave, by the time they do it -- first of all, i have to give taylor swift notes that day. and taylor swift is stunning. like i've never -- i don't think i've seen her in a long time. i was like, "god [ bleep ]." like, when you see her up front. so i have like 30 seconds with her to go, "hey, here's your dumb line and, you know, thanks for doing it. and then norm walks up behind me -- "david." [ laughter ] i go, "yes?" and he goes, "introduce your friend taylor to my kid." [ laughter ] meanwhile, his kid -- i'm looking down his kid's like 20 years -- he's up here. and i go, "norm, i have 15 seconds with her. no one's the getting laid this weekend. [ laughter ] all right? just relax." i got to get to work. you know? we're all in -- it's all about the show. >> jimmy: did you and taylor get along? >> she was sweet. she was like, "oh, you look familiar.
are you my dad's friend?" [ laughter ] i'm like, "no." actually she was like, "my grandpa?" [ laughter ] i go, "no, no, no. getting colder. i'm a superstar actually. sort of like you. i see you at the meetings." [ laughter ] and then we do this sketch, and we do it. everyone bumbles their lines cause no one cares. obviously it's just a fun show. we're all screwing up. so they walk by, i'm like, "buh-bye." she sort of bumbles her lines. kerry washington gets some of them right. bradley cooper gets 2 out of 3 wrong. [ laughter ] he has three lines. so then i go, then the sketch is over. i'm like, "was that it?" so, then i go in the quick change room and i hear bradley cooper next to me. and i go, "dude, how did you get "american sniper?" you're horrible! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you said that to him. yeah, yeah. >> and he's over -- and he goes, "my god, dude, i sucked so bad. i don't know what was that?" i go, "you kissed betty white and you blanked out on me!" [ laughter ] and he goes, "exactly. exactly." >> jimmy: look at the back cover here. >> that was the other idea for the cover. that was gonna be "rags to
bitches" was the other title. [ laughter ] but they -- >> jimmy: i'm happy they -- >> they didn't want it at the book store. >> jimmy: i'm happy, yeah. that they changed it. now it's called, "almost interesting." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it says, "a story about how pip-squeak from arizona became a pip-squeak from l.a." [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, that's very good. a twerps -- we'll be right back with more david spade. we'll talk about this book. >> lots more. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ mmm, denny's pumpkin pecan pie pancakes
are the perfect halloween treat. and you don't need a head to know it. haha, yes! denny's new pumpkin pecan pie pancakes just 4.99. denny's. welcome to america's diner. we heard you got a job as a developer!!!!! its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay... guys, i'll be writing a new language for machines so planes, trains, even hospitals can work better. oh! sorry, i was trying to put it away... got it on the cake. so you're going to work on a train? not on a train...on "trains"! you're not gonna develop stuff anymore? no i am... do you know what ge is?
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're hanging with our good pal david spade. oh, my gosh! [ cheers and applause ] here's the book right here. >> it's a big deal. >> jimmy: comes out tomorrow. >> yeah, buy it. >> jimmy: by david spade, "almost interesting." i love this whole book. i read it cover to cover. >> that is nice. >> jimmy: it's like having a a conversation with you, because there's a lot of little asides. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's the way you
deliver your comedy. [ mumbles ] >> right, exactly. it's hard to do that in the book. i did the audio version. >> jimmy: you did do the audio version? >> yeah, 'casue it's hard to go good-doo-eesh and try to write it in there. so i have to -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like, like look at this right here. can you see that in there? >> what does it say? >> jimmy: it's at the top, at the top here. >> oh, it says i learned a lot, oh and i put free plug. >> jimmy: random twitter posts. then you put your twitter address with a free plug. [ laughter ] >> i plug my own thing, yeah. >> jimmy: free plug. it's a lot of those things, but i learned a lot of stuff i did not know. of course, i want to know all about "saturday night live" and chris farley and the eddie murphy story. but then, i -- and the skippy story. >> oh, yeah, the guy attacking me. yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] there's too many insane stories. >> jimmy: insane. there's too many insane, i loved every bit of it but i didn't also know that you were in a fraternity. and this is funny. >> i was in a fraternity. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: does he look like a a frat guy? he looks like a real tough -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i had my little alligator shirt. i was like, collar up! [ laughter ] and i was, but you know, they bring in the fraternity. my brother was in it, too, and,
they're a great bunch of guys. so i go through the first week where they're nice to you, and i'm so dumb. i mean, i've seen "animal house." like it flips right away, but i don't -- i go, "no, not these guys." so immediately they hate me. and they're like, "on the ground, ass [ bleep ]. i'm like, huh? like, wait, you were just nice to me? so, i'm a pledge and i have to do everything they want, and they call you at like, 4:00 in the morning. go get river rocks and bring them down to the house and bring me some jack daniels. i'm like, that's my job now? i have to go to school tomorrow. so i'm at a work party, which we have every three days. we're drunk, 2:00 in the morning. it's boiling hot in arizona. i have my shirt off. they spray paint a number one on me cause i was funk number one. and then they put olive oil and paprika all over me. for what -- just, for no reason. [ laughter ] and then, it's to humiliate me. and we're sitting there and my brother's in the fraternity. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so we're all just sitting there sweating it out, getting yelled at. my brother walks up with this drink, and he goes, "hey babe, hey buddy, you okay?" and i go, "i'm not doing too good, man." [ light laughter ] he goes, "you dying of heat?" i go, "yeah." and he goes, "you want ice
cubes?" i go, "yeah." and he goes, "okay, hang on. this pussy wants ice! [ laughter ] everybody else on the ground! [ laughter ] and i'm," like what, what?" and i go, "my real brother." and everyone's down doing push ups, and he goes, "here's your precious ice." i'm like, narf-narf-narf. [ laughter ] i didn't even care anymore. i'm like, "give me that god [ bleep ] ice!" they're all like this. >> jimmy: he sold you out. i love it, it's the best. >> oh, my god, yeah, yeah, yeah. true story. >> jimmy: how about a farley story? can we squeeze in a farley story. there's a lot of them. >> quick one. we were at "snl" and he's dating this girl that works there that you might have known, worked for lorne. and then they broke up, and he came back super cocky. he's like, and he goes, "heard she's got a new boy toy." and me and sandler were like, "yeah, yeah, dating a guy." and he goes, "well, he might be better looking than me, but he ain't richer, he ain't funnier and he ain't better -- whatever. >> jimmy: more famous. >> more famous. yeah. we were like, "uh, yeah, it's steve martin." [ laughter ] and he was like, "what?"
we're like, "0 for 3." yeah. [ laughter ] he's like, "god!" yeah. >> jimmy: there's so many more things. get the book. get the audio book. >> all right, all right. >> jimmy: we love this guy. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: david spade, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: "almost interesting" comes out tomorrow. don't go anywhere. mike tyson will be here when we come back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if you have moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis like me... and you're talking to a rheumatologist about a biologic, this is humira. this is humira helping to relieve my pain and protect my joints from further damage. this is humira helping me reach for more. doctors have been prescribing humira for more than 10 years. humira works for many adults. it targets and helps to block a specific source of inflammation that contrubutes to ra symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal
infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. talk to your doctor and visit humira.com this is humira at work. ♪ ♪ stand out. by design. ♪
powerful. ♪ by design. of our burgers with free refills nighof fries for just $6.99. yup, you'll finally look forward to mondays with our biggest, juiciest deal ever. monday night is $6.99 burger night. new and only at applebee's. small job? no, doing the whole living room. hey you guys should come over later. the exclusive one-coat color collection from behr® marquee interior. every color covers in one coat, guaranteed. turning a two-coat job into an easy marquee® afternoon. sfx: phone chime they're still at it. ♪ behr® marquee. behr's most advanced interior paint and primer. exclusively at the home depot.
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not only is our next guest an actor, author, and boxing legend, he also has his own cartoon series called, "mike tyson mysteries" which has its second -- it's funny. [ laughter ] it has a second season premiere on sunday at 12:15 a.m. on adult swim. ladies and gentlemen, give it up for mike tyson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] i'm coming back, baby. just got out of bankruptcy. man it's going to be money again. >> jimmy: no. come on. >> man. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! you know, i had to go a little budget. i had to, you know when you're doing hard, i went on, i was scared to check my credit. have to do, you know -- that credit karma stuff, man. >> jimmy: you got messed up with you that? >> no, man. it's okay now. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> everything's good now. [ laughter ] don't have to hide now. >> jimmy: no, i understand. yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> looking like when you first met me. when jimmy first met me i was looking good. i had a plane, i had the girls, i had everything, jimmy. all of that! but, you know, things are getting better. [ laughter ] credit cards, man. right? >> jimmy: credit cards are the worst, yeah. >> do you know your score?
[ laughter ] do you know your score? you need to know your score. >> jimmy: i don't' think i -- >> cause, you think you're fly because you got some loot, and then you go check your score. you say, whoa, got all this [ laughter ] right? have you ever dealt with that yet? you thought you're ballin' and then finally can't buy something? there's nothing. >> jimmy: yeah. i have not. not yet. >> you can't buy something, but it's nothing. you can't buy it. >> jimmy: well, you shouldn't have a problem with that because you got the show, "undisputed truth." >> yeah. i'm making -- it came back, baby. i came back from a low. babe, i was low. babe, i was down. >> jimmy: now you're back! no, i know. >> i'm back now. i'm back now! [ cheers and applause ] i was never leaving, baby! you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're just -- [ laughter ] >> i get tired sometimes. i went through a lot. >> jimmy: no. i know. >> jimmy: no, yeah. you had a tough life. >> yeah. no doubt about it. >> jimmy: yeah. you know who was here recently? >> who? >> jimmy: jamie foxx. >> jamie foxx?
>> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> he scored big time, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. that's not my point. that's not my point. the point was -- yeah, he did score big time. his credit score is in the, like, high 890s. [ laughter ] >> yeah, he scored big time, man. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's in the high 90. you, he said to me, he said that he's working on a a mike tyson movie, he's going to play you in a movie. >> yeah, yeah. you know, jamie, i don't like to say, but jamie, i've know jamie a real long time. >> jimmy: he said, yeah. >> a really long time, and, so he was doing stand-up. and he's a new guy, and he started making some jokes and -- >> jimmy: about you? >> yes. and no one laughed and somebody said, "mike's in the audience." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then he just stopped. [ laughter ] somebody said, i said, "tell him, yeah, go ahead, do the joke, but it better be funny." mike said, "do the joke, but it better be funny!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then -- >> he did the joke and it was really funny. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, it was, yeah. >> jimmy: well, maybe his sense of humor went on you a little bit, because you're very funny. you have a great sense of humor. >> you think so? "mike tyson mysteries" the
second season! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. that's what i'm talking about. >> it's gonna premiere november 3rd! 12:15 am! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] uh! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. >> what happened? >> jimmy: the second season. >> yes. we went through the first season. the second season is also a a season we did in a rapid fort and i want to get to season third. because season third's gonna be really good. because season third is a a possibility, we may have people like flavor flav. snoop doggy doggy dog. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. it's very funny, and it's a a giant hit. but it's kind of like scooby-doo meets mr. t almost, but it's you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's really what it is. >> no it's not. me and mr. t are different. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, yeah, totally. questlove said that, i didn't say that. >> questlove: hey, don't blame
me! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> questlove: i love the show. >> questlove! [ cheers and applause ] questlove! >> jimmy: no. i think i know what you're are you talking about. are you talking about questlove's instagram? did you happen to see something? [ light laughter ] quest, quest insted something out the other day. it was a meme. >> what happened? >> jimmy: it's never pop culture official until mike puts his two cents in. [ audience ohs ] >> well that's cold blooded, that's cold blooded, i always thought me and you were cool? >> questlove: we are cool! >> i never talk to you on the phone, man. >> questlove: we're cool. >> jimmy: it says, you used to call me on the cell phone. [ laughter ] >> you used to call me on the telephone. mother [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wait you can't -- do
it. do it. do it. here, you can do it. you can do it. ♪ ♪ you used to call me on the telephone ♪ ♪ you want to be alone with me ♪ ♪ you call me on the telephone ♪ ♪ for you to get the big bone on ♪ ♪ >> sorry about that. >> jimmy: mike tyson, everybody. season two of "mike tyson mysteries" premieres sunday at 12:15 a.m. on adult swim. blake shelton performs for us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (cole) alright, now that we have merged with cableworld, we are so excited to hear your big ideas on how we're going to take on directv. so over to you. (newhart) thank you. full disclosure. we forgot to come up with ideas.
(cw exec) yeah, we got messed up last night. you're lucky we're even here. (newhart) but, we did bring breakfast. (jmh) bagels? (newhart) nope. (woman) oh my goodness. (newhart) peel and eat shrimp. (cole) not how i would have gone but it's good, it's innovative. and that's what we want here. (vo) get rid of cable and switch to directv. call 1-800-directv. htake care of what makes you,e. you. right down to your skin. aveeno® daily moisturizing lotion with 5 vital nutrients for healthier looking skin in just one day. aveeno®. naturally beautiful results®
there had to be people willing before thto fight for it,ation, to take on the world's greatest challenges, whatever they might be. so, the u.s. army masters not only tactics and strategy, but also physics and chemistry. we make battle plans and create breakthroughs - in medicine, science and engineering. our next mission could be anything. so we prepare for everything. ♪ i used to get really stressed in these online shopping forms. last name. how about last time. now i breathe easy, with the ancient art of yoga...
and masterpass. this pose is called "downward facing hog." yoga's hard, right? you want a bite? more for me! the easier way to shop online. masterpass from mastercard and your bank. it's the shortcut to priceless. we're testing hanes with x-temp technology. hey dad! emily? ready? no! wait! slow down a little! oow! it's designed to keep help keep you cool.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: performing "gonna" -- once again, "iron" blake shelton. there he is, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> watch this! ♪ whew ♪ ♪ i'm gon' take you for a date take you for a ride gonna get ♪ ♪ you over there on the passenger's side ♪ ♪ i'm gonna put the radio on your favorite song gonna crank it on up and get you singing along ♪ ♪ hey hey all right girl i'm diggin' on hittin' on you tonight it ain't a maybe it's open ♪ ♪ now wishing a woman
it's a damn right hold you tight baby i'm gonna ♪ ♪ ♪ so what's it gonna take what's it gonna be we can pump it on the boulevard ♪ ♪ or kick it in the country me and you you and me money back guaranteed love you every night and ♪ ♪ daytona i'm gonna hey hey all right all right girl i'm hittin' on you tonight ♪ ♪ it ain't immediate it's open now wishing i wanna it's a damn right hold you ♪ ♪ tight baby i'm gonna love you all night long til the ♪ ♪ crickets start chirping girl i ain't just flirting i'm certain ♪ ♪ i'm working on a long-term plan gonna be your man gonna put a ♪ ♪ little rock steady on your hand yeah ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ hey hey hey hey all right all right girl i'm hittin' on you tonight ♪ ♪ it ain't a maybe it's open now wishing i wanna it's a damn right hold you ♪ ♪ tight baby i'm gonna hey hey hey hey all right all right ♪ ♪ girl i'm ooh thinking on hittin' on you tonight it ain't a maybe it's open now it's ♪ ♪ wishing a woman its a damn right hold on tight baby i'm gonna ♪ ♪ ♪ hey hey all right hey hey all right whoa hey hey hey hey ♪ ♪ all right all right hey ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to david spade, mike tyson, adam levine, gwen stefani, pharrell williams, blake shelton! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- clive owen. star of off-broadway's "ripcord," actress rachel dratch. from "project runway junior," tim gunn. featuring the 8g band with arcade fire's jeremy gara. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? everybody good? [ cheers and applause ] all right, in that case, let's get to the news. the new york mets are in the world series. [ cheers and applause ] which means a lot of new yorkers are going to stand in front of a