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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  December 11, 2015 12:37am-1:38am PST

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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- presidential candidate, hillary clinton, from "sisters", actress samantha bee, music from andrea bocelli, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seeyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. i'm very happy to announce this. tonight is our 300th episode of "late night." you're here for 300. [ cheers and applause ] and much like the film "300", this afternoon we celebrated by
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taking our shirts off and doing some pretty homo-erotic fighting. [ laughter ] today this was sparta. [ light laughter ] all right. let's get to the news. the "new york times" and cbs released a poll this morning that shows donald trump in his strongest position of primary season. while jeb bush remains in same position -- fetal. [ laughter ] i don't wanna do -- i don't wanna do this this anymore! [ applause ] i want to go back to florida. this is so hard when nobody likes you. [ laughter ] following criticism about his comments on muslims, donald trump said this morning, he is postponing a trip to meet israeli officials until after he becomes president. oh, did you hear that? the sound of hillary laughing all the way from her dressing room. [ cheers and applause ] keep it down! trying to do a show here.
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"time" magazine yesterday released a series of outtakes from donald trump's cover shoot with a bald eagle, including a gif of the republican front runner being attacked by the bird. [ light laughter ] it's not the bird's fault. he thought trump stole his nest. [ laughter ] just in case -- just in case you haven't seen it, can we see that gif real quick? [ laughter ] all right, but let me say something real quick. you can criticize donald trump all you want. that is exactly how i would react if an eagle went for me and the rest us, too. [ light laughter ] real hard to be tough when a bald eagle is making a move at you. [ light laughter ] during oral arguments in a case about college affirmative action yesterday, the supreme court justice antonin scalia said that black students thrive when they are in a less advanced school, a slower track school, where they do well. though black students say it's not the worst thing they've ever
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heard from a guy in a robe. [ audience ohs ] oh, did you think that was a ghost and that's why you all made ghost noises? [ laughter ] ooh! [ light laughter ] senate minority leader harry reid, today, called antonin scalia's claim that black students do better in lesser schools racist. i agree. everybody does better in lesser schools. in fact, it's arizona state's motto. [ laughter and applause ] i should note our head writer went to arizona. that's why we end up with jokes like that. a new study released today finds that happiness does not improve health and longevity. the study is titled, "bernie sanders." [ laughter ] facebook, today, announced a new service called facebook at work, or at most people call that --
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facebook. [ laughter ] oh, this wasn't for at work? [ light laughter ] golden globe nominations were released today and sylvester stallone is up for best actor in a supporting role for his part in rocky reboot, "creed." stallone says he's confident and is already working on his acceptance slur. [ laughter ] [ slurring words ] [ laughter ] i didn't even know it was a movie. [ laughter ] i thought it was a documentary. [ laughter ] this is my fifteenth rocky movie. [ laughter ] kim jong-un announced today that north korea has developed a hydrogen bomb. and i think i speak for all
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americans when i say, "not now, buddy. we got a lot going on right now. if can you just wait until after the holidays? [ laughter ] that would be fantastic." that's right. kim jong-un announced that had north korea has developed a hydrogen bomb. then to demonstrate it, he drank a two liter bottle of diet coke and ate a mentos. [ laughter ] [ applause ] in more kim jong-un news -- [ light laughter ] kim jong-un will be sending his personal all-girl band to china next week in an effort to improve the relationship between two countries. they'll be playing all their hits like, "never let me go", "can i stay here a while", and their newest single, "seriously though, i'm begging you, please don't make me go back there." [ laughter ] an artist in china recently demonstrated beijing's smog
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problem by sucking up air in a vacuum for 100 days and then compressing the collected dust into a solid brick. which, by the way, is also how they make cliff bars. [ laughter ] just very dense. they're very healthy for you. just very dense hundred-day dust. walmart introduced their own mobile payment app today which allows customers to use their smart phones in place of credit cards. and if you really want to have some fun, ask one of the greeters to show you how it works. [ laughter ] why are you paying me with your phone? [ light laughter ] i don't know how to make change for a phone. [ light laughter ] and finally, the university of vermont has announced they will now offer a course on the science of marijuana. the earliest it's offered is 2:00 p.m. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have --
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[ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for you tonight. hillary clinton is in the house. and -- [ cheers and applause ] and i have it on good intelligence that while she's here tonight, she may announce she's running for president. [ laughter ] it could be a big deal for our little show. also, you know her from "the daily show." she's in the new film, "sisters." samantha bee is in the house tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and he is quite simply one of the greatest singers on earth. andrea bocelli is here this evening. [ cheers and applause ] how 'bout that? how 'bout that for a lineup for show 300? now, if i may, there's something that i've been meaning to get off my chest. around this time of year, a lot of work places, ours included, do holiday gift exchanges and i'm sorry, i just have to say this.
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secret santa is the worst -- >> at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60-second profanity-laden tirade about secret santa gift exchanges and, in his opinion, how they are a waste of time and money. network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue we were unable to edit this portion of the show. [ light laughter ] in short, seth believes that buying terrible presents for random co-workers shouldn't be called "secret santa." it should be called "who the hell is debby?" [ laughter ] seth then laid out the difference between regular santa and secret santa, saying, "regular santa is a jolly old man who gives out presents to children. secret santa is an accountant named carl who gave me a half empty pack of cigarettes." [ laughter ] seth continued, "oh, and no one wants an i.o.u. for a free back rub, craig." at which point, craig responded, "in that case, how about a front rub?" [ laughter ] craig then smiled, and began to apply clap stick to himself. seth shook his head and said, "you're disgusting." to which craig replied, "oops, you saw your secret santa present," while waving the chap stick seductively.
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seth then said what he always says, "get out of here, craig." and then seth angrily showed the gift he received from last year's secret santa, which was a charger for a phone he does not have. [ laughter ] at which point seth said, "i guarantee you the person who got me this has never met me." to which fred responded, "i think it's a great gift." [ laughter ] at which point seth replied, "were you my secret santa?" to which fred responded, "shrug." [ laughter ] at which point seth said, "did you just stay word 'shrug'?" to which fred replied, "yes. it's a new thing i'm trying where i say things instead of doing them. wink." [ laughter ] and then seth said, "oh, i don't like that." that to which fred said, "frown." [ light laughter ] then seth replied, "but we're getting off topic. were you my secret santa?" to which fred responded, "i'll never tell. but, if you don't like my charger, will you give it back?" [ laughter ] to which seth replied, "no. middle finger." [ laughter ] seth concluded by saying, "instead of secret santa, we should all just set $20 on fire and get on with our lives." [ laughter ]
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nbc would like viewers to disregard seth's opinons about secret santa, as they do not reflect the network's position, and make him seem like a raving lunatic. we now resume our broadcast. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so put that in your stocking and stuff it. woo! that felt good to get off my chest. we'll be right back with hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ give extra. get extra.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night", everybody. our first guest is currently the front-runner for the democratic nomination for president in 2016. please welcome to the show, hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm great. >> seth: i'm so happy you're here. >> thank you >> seth: you look wonderful. you look well rested. and i can't understand how that's the case. >> yeah, that's an optical illusion. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay, gotcha. now, this is your fourth presidential campaign. >> right, yeah. >> seth: well, you know, you've been through two -- >> yes, right. >> seth: certainly with your husband. >> exactly. >> seth: i have to say they seem like the worst things on earth. [ light laughter ]
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can you have any fun doing it? and as you do more of them -- have you learned any lessons that are making it easier this time around? or is it impossible for them to be easy? >> well, i think that they are really hard. you won't get an argument from me about that. it is incredibly demanding and exhausting in every way you can imagine. but i do have fun. i do have a good time out there. and it's usually because something funny will happen. somebody will say something. or i will meet a person out there on a rope line, at an event, and you just get a connection. and it really does have its moments. so, i try to hang on to those moments, because they are outnumbered by just the sheer demands that go with it. >> seth: and when you say hang on to those moments, if you meet a nice person on the rope line you just won't let go. >> i hang on to them. i do not let them go! [ laughter ] >> seth: then your team is like, "hillary we have to leave." >> and then i start stalking them and that gets me into all kinds of trouble. "wait, wait, come back.
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you're so nice. i really like talking to you." >> seth: and then they're like, "i was going to vote for her" -- >> but she's too little weird. >> seth: a little creepy, yeah. >> a little weird. [ laughter ] >> seth: i want to ask you a couple questions about donald trump. [ laughter ] first question -- have you heard about him? [ laughter ] >> you know, i have to say, seth, i no longer think he's funny. >> seth: yes. i will say, i started feeling that way -- [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. i think for weeks, you know, you and everybody else were just bringing folks to hysterical laughter and all that. but now he has gone way over the line. and what he's saying now is not only shameful and wrong, it's dangerous. >> seth: these are his comments about muslims -- [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, it is. yeah, right. and look, he's been kind of an equal opportunity insulter. he's gone after all kinds of folks.
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>> seth: has he mentioned you at all? >> a few times. [ laughter ] now, that i can laugh at, because you know, it's about me. >> seth: you're in good company with the world. >> i'm in good company. [ laughter ] but this latest demand that we not let muslims into our country really plays right into the hands of the terrorists. and i don't say that lightly, but it does. he is giving them a great propaganda tool. a way to recruit more folks from europe and the united states. and because it's kind of crossed that line, i think everybody -- especially other republicans -- need to stand up and really say, enough. you've gone too far. that's not who we are. that's not the kind of country that we believe we are. and we're just not going to tolerate it. so, i hope more people will do that. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, obviously, one of the events that i think spurred this latest chapter of things trump said were the
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san bernardino shootings. and you know, we have lived through so many tragic shootings in recent months. obviously, gun control is a big part of your campaign. how can you convince people now that gun control -- considering how many times it has tried and failed -- that it is anything more than a fantasy? >> well, it isn't. in part because most people in america, 92% the last i checked, and 85% of gun owners, support these common sense measures. universal checks, closing the gun show loophole, closing the online and charleston loopholes. and doing whatever we can to repeal the immunity from all liability that gun makers and sellers have. and this latest example i think has really mobilized people. we can't get a vote in the congress to prohibit people who are on the "no fly" list from being able to buy a gun in america. now, if you're too dangerous to fly in america, you ought to be too dangerous to buy a gun in america.
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[ cheers and applause ] so, i think more people are getting frustrated by, you know, the refusal of representatives to stand with the majority of americans, the majority of gun owners, and take on the gun lobby. i'm not saying any of this is easy, because they are incredibly powerful. they intimidate people. they really try to make anybody who bucks them pay a political price. but i know we can do this in a way that is consistent with the rights of those who, under our constitution, can buy and own guns without opening the door so wide that we have people who should never have a gun -- people who are felons and fugitives and stalkers and people with serious mental illness and now potential terrorists -- from getting guns. >> seth: i do believe there is this core group of gun owners are responsible gun owners. yet i feel like those who want gun control and certainly those in the democratic party have
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sort of failed to connect with that nra membership that agrees the idea of universal background checks. why has it been such a failure? is it because the nra leadership is too strong? is it because that lobby arm is too strong? how -- this will never happen. gun control will never happen without the help of responsible gun owners. why hasn't that connection been able to be made? >> i do think we all bear some responsibility for that. yes, it is a big political risk for people. because when my husband passed and signed the brady bill, the assault weapons ban, a lot of the democrats who joined him because they thought it was the right thing to do lost their seats in the next election. now, my husband was reelected, because he has a way of being able to talk to people. [ applause ] yes, right? >> seth: good at that. >> so he went to places and he said, you know, look. he hunted, he learned to shoot. i did too. so it is not a total foreign
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alien concept that people have guns and use them for appropriate purposes. and i do think that we don't have the right approach to it. and we do need on reach out to more responsible gun owners. and begin to try to say, look. we can do more to prevent as many deaths as possible. we're not going to prevent them all. that's not likely. but we can sure do a better job than we're doing now. >> seth: i think it is irrational -- there's obviously so many guns in this country, we're never getting those guns back. >> no. >> seth: those people are gonna have those guns. and i think the messaging has been so -- whether it is the nra that's framing this or the failure of message. this the idea that no one is coming for anyone's guns. >> no, no. >> seth: i think it's just let's try to be a little bit more reasonable with who the next guns go to. >> well, that's exactly right. if you are trying to keep people paying dues and supporting your organization, you want to keep them upset.
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so the nra, 30, 40 years ago is not the nra of today. there were ways for people working together to try to figure out how we can have some common sense gun safety measures. today, they want people to feel like the black helicopter is gonna land in the backyard and your guns are gonna be taken. totally unbelievably untrue. but it does create doubt, then they just drive right through that. so, we have to do a better job and we have to do it from the bottom up where more people in the communities, more local gun owners, stand up for it. we have to try to do more from washington. >> seth: that's great. will you stick around? [ applause ] 'cause i want to give a quiz on my home state of new hampshire. we'll be right back with more hillary clinton! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." we're here with hillary clinton. [ cheers ] so, you obviously you spent some time at the white house. you lived there for eight years. >> i did, yes. >> seth: so, is it true -- is
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this true that when you left, you put on sunglasses and said i'll be back? is that true or -- >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a rumor, okay. that's a rumor. >> an urban myth. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> absolutely. >> seth: what are the biggest perks to living there and what are the biggest drawbacks to living there? >> well, the biggest perk is the honor of living there. because, you know, you do feel like you're part of history going all the way back. everybody who works there are so patriotic and so committed to the job. so it's great being around them. it's beautiful and you get to have your friends over. you get to have some good parties. >> seth: and you -- when your friends come over, you never -- they never do that thing like where do you live again? they just know. [ light laughter ] you don't have to give the address. they're never like, text it to me. yeah. >> yeah, no, they kind of find their way. >> seth: yeah. >> some of them can't get through security, but, you know, that's their problem. >> seth: yeah, you shouldn't be friends with those people. >> yeah, shouldn't be friends with those. meet them off campus somewhere. so there's just a lot about it that is very, you know, just very significant.
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and i'm not running for president to go back to live in the white house. [ light laughter ] but the idea of living in the white house is this incredible privilege. however, it is the biggest fish bowl. and as harry truman once said, the white house is the crown jewel in the american penal system. [ laughter ] >> seth: that makes a lot of sense. >> because, you know, you're watched all the time. >> seth: yeah. >> you have all of these, you know, obligations which are part of the job. and it is a little bit difficult ever just to take a deep breath and, you know, hang out, watch your show, do whatever it is you want to do. >> seth: you're already start making excuses -- [ laughter ] for why you're not watching the show. >> no, no. i'm trying to set up the circumstances so that i can. >> seth: right, understood. well, to be fair -- >> no meetings in the situation room when seth is on. >> seth: oh, good, good, good. >> we have to set some standards here. >> seth: absolutely. now, you having been a first
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lady, what qualities does your husband have that would be good for that job? [ laughter ] like what -- knowing what you brought to it -- [ cheers and applause ] like, being the first spouse. >> okay, all right. well, i really haven't given this a lot of thought, but maybe i should. >> seth: yeah. >> he's a great host. >> seth: yeah, i would imagine. >> oh, yeah. so any event, you know, i could really count on him to make people feel comfortable, welcome them in the white house. he could -- he loves giving tours. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's good. >> he'll probably want to do a lot of that. go down to public tours, hey, let me show you what i think is neat about the white house. so, there's no doubt that role, he'll have it down. you know, picking out flower arrangements -- >> seth: maybe not his strength? >> no, maybe not. maybe, you know, he is kind of veganish. >> seth: oh, okay. [ light laughter ] >> i mean, he is vegan to the point that he doesn't eat any meat. >> seth: okay. >> he doesn't eat any dairy, but he does have fish. >> seth: okay.
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>> so, i'm sure there is a name for that but i don't know. >> seth: gotcha. >> and he might have some, you know, useful information about menus. >> seth: like if a vegan comes to the white house. >> yeah. what do you feed a vegan? >> seth: gotcha, that's good. >> exactly. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's very good. >> so, i think -- he will be great in, you know, just being a good adviser. >> seth: right. >> that's a very important job. i'll ask him about the economy and ask him about what we should do in dealing with a lot of the difficult people in the world, like your favorite potential guests, vladimir putin. >> seth: so basically like what regular married couples do about their own personal finances and their lousy friends. [ laughter ] what are we going to do about barbara? >> i have no idea. >> seth: i don't want barbara to come over again. >> but there's so many rooms, 132 rooms. we can put her somewhere. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, there you go. now, is there a reality -- you get called to the situation room, how hard is it gonna be to keep him out? [ light laughter ]
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>> well, maybe there'll be occasions when i don't want to. >> seth: right, so, there you go. >> i mean, you know, he's a former president. and he has been asked to do things by both president obama and president george w. bush and he's worked with president george h.w. bush and president carter and all of the, you know, living and still very active former presidents. >> seth: yeah, it's nice to have one of those around. >> yeah, and there's a lot you can learn. and there are all kinds of special missions. like president obama asked bill to go to north korea -- i saw you had quite a bit about kim jong-un on earlier. >> seth: yeah, i got another guy. he's very helpful. >> yeah, he's a guy -- yeah, invite to be on the show too. [ laughter ] so they had captured two american journalists and they were holding them. and it was a pretty terrible situation. so, we kept, through the state department, reaching out saying, come on. you, know, we want our american citizens back. these two young women.
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and they kept saying, no, no, no. and finally, this was his father who was still alive then came back and said, well, we would turn them over to a distinguished american who would come to north korea. well, so then we kept offering names of distinguished americans and none of them were acceptable and we couldn't figure out, is this real or not? >> seth: right, like where did you start? were like at taylor swift? >> oh, yeah, anybody. [ laughter ] no, you know, seriously. he is like, both his father was, his father was and he is just fanatic about american sports and entertainers. >> seth: right. >> and you know, they -- they go nuts if they can just get movies that are favorites. and remember dennis rodman went to north korea, remember that? >> seth: it was a big deal. >> yeah, well, whatever. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: so, i think "whatever" was the takeaway from that. >> whatever. yeah. so eventually, you know, they said no. we would really like former president clinton to come.
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and that's a little awkward. i'm secretary of state. [ laughter ] you know, i said, well, okay. if president obama agrees, it's fine with me. and so president obama and i had this conversation. we agreed that we should. so then we had to, you know, send my husband over. and the one thing that we had to do, which was kind of hard, is we had to tell him he could never smile around the north korean president. >> seth: really? >> yes. no smiling allowed. [ light laughter ] he could not look like there was anything of interest or fun about being in pyongyang to rescue our two journalists. >> seth: that would be very hard for him i would imagine. >> very hard for him, yes! [ light laughter ] so, we had to practice. [ laughter ] >> seth: fantastic. >> oh, yes. we kind of laid all this out. and so if you see pictures from him going over there, he's just staring straight ahead.
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[ laughter ] he has no expression on his face. and it all worked out. we got them out. but that's the kind of thing, you know? you never know why you might need to use him. >> seth: all right, i wanna finish. that's good. and again -- [ cheers and applause ] i think we can all say that about any of our spouses. >> absolutely. >> seth: you never know when they're gonna be handy to have around. >> absolutely, yes. >> seth: all right, so, new hampshire. i'm from new hampshire. >> i know, i'm here asking for your absentee ballot. >> seth: well, it's -- we're a very proud state. i wanna give you -- 'cause you got that primary coming up. i wanna give you some new hampshire trivia. are you ready for this? >> well, i don't know. we'll find out. >> seth: all right, what is the new hampshire state capital? >> concord. >> seth: well done. concord is the correct answer. [ cheers and applause ] that was an easy one. that was an easy one. what is the largest city in new hampshire? >> manchester. >> seth: manchester, yeah. i went to high school in manchester. [ applause ] >> excellent. >> seth: and if you wanna be cool with the kids, you can call it manch vegas. >> manch vegas.
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[ laughter ] >> seth: at least that's what they called it in 1996. so, it's probably not -- what is the state motto? >> live free or die. >> seth: it is live free or die. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, live free or die. >> seth: when you grow up in new hampshire, it is a fun thing to scream at your parents when they ground you. [ laughter ] what rock formation is pictured on the new hampshire state quarter? >> okay. the old man in the mountain. >> seth: the old man in the mountain is correct. >> the old man in the mountain. >> seth: follow-up, what happened on may 3rd, 2003? >> is that when it collapsed? >> seth: it collapsed, yeah. too soon. don't bring it up. [ laughter ] >> and the whole face fell off. >> seth: the whole face. it's now just mountain. [ light laughter ] the nose, nothing stayed. >> the once but former old man is gone. >> seth: name the only president who is from new hampshire. >> franklin pierce. >> seth: yeah, franklin pierce is right. that's such a burn on new hampshire. [ cheers and applause ] our only president isn't even the most famous franklin president. what fictional tv president is from new hampshire? >> oh, "west wing."
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yeah, jed bartlett, right? >> seth: nicely done. look at this. [ cheers and applause ] who won the 2008 new hampshire democratic primary? >> me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: last question is a big one. >> oh, boy. >> seth: name three "snl" alums from new hampshire. >> can i -- can i get a life line to the audience? >> seth: yeah. >> well, you. >> seth: so, you've got two to go. [ light laughter ] >> who? >> audience: sarah silverman! >> seth: sarah silverman is correct. >> yay! >> seth: and one to go. >> okay. come on. >> come on. you know this one. you can do it. >> audience: adam sandler! >> adam sandler. >> seth: adam sandler! there you go. you got all three. [ applause ] and i am so touched that i was the only one you knew right away. hillary clinton, everybody. we'll be right back with samantha bee. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. our next guest is a very funny actress and comedian who you know from her work as a correspondent on "the daily show." you can see her in the new film "sisters", which opens december 18th and on her new talk show "full frontal", which premieres on tbs in february. please welcome to the show, samantha bee. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> i'm well.
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how are you? >> seth: good, wonderful to have you here. >> thank you so much. hillary clinton? >> seth: hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] >> hillary clinton. >> she always does my warm-up. that's so nice of her. [ laughter ] >> seth: when you go out on the road she warms up the audience? >> yeah. we're going to be at coconut comedy club in schenectady. >> seth: i look forward to that. i've seen the film "sisters." i went to the premier this week. you're very funny in this film. this film is amy and tina going back to their childhood home and partying like teenagers one last time. >> that's right. i play a character named liz who is like a buttoned up mom -- >> seth: yep. >> who cuts loose at the party in a big way and goes topless. as one does. >> seth: you are in a bra pretty much the whole movie. >> i'm in a bra. when i went for my costume fitting, i was like, this is such a big deal for me. they don't even wear two piece bathing suits or anything like that. this is a really big moment for me. i came out of the dressing room. i faced this wall of people and they're like, "that bra is so funny! look at you in that horrible
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bra!" and i was like, "ha, ha, ha, ha. that's my actual bra. " [ laughter ] my actual bra was the same as their comedy mom bra. >> seth: that's fantastic. congratulations. >> i hesitate to tell you that i haven't had much of an upgrade since then. but, you know. >> seth: did you ever party like that? when you were a teenager, did you ever have one of those house parties? >> this is such a horrible story. when i turned 15, my friend had a party for me. and it started -- she had parents who worked all the time. if you work all the time, you should never leave your children alone in the house, because her parents did. she had this, like, mild teen party in the basement. and we all had braces. and i had bermuda shorts and two popped polo collars. [ light laughter ] you know what i mean? then as the party progressed, we were all listening to depeche mode and eating finger food. all as adults started wandering into the party. like hooligans from the area. >> seth: like local roughs? >> local toughians.
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they started filtering into into the basement. and it got so crowded that i was cowering in the laundry room surrounded by jugs of vodka that all these people had bought. and at the end, at the conclusion of my 15th birthday party, there was a bottle fight on the street and someone got their eye slashed out. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: oh, my god. >> yeah. and then he ran back into my party. >> seth: oh, no! >> he ran back down stairs. and he was like, "my eye is falling out!" and his eye was falling out and the ambulance came. >> seth: the best party ever. >> best party ever! you really can't top that. >> seth: that is fantastic, when someone leaves an eye in your driveway. [ light laughter ] >> that is true. it's really true. >> seth: so i'm so excited about this. you have your new show. you were so wonderful on "the daily show" -- >> thank you. >> seth: and now you have your new show, "full frontal." >> yes, "full frontal" >> seth: and that's very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! i can't believe. it starts february 8th on tbs. i can't believe i have to wait until february. >> seth: i know. because we have this great political season going on right now that people like me are enjoying.
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you've released some promos. are fans reaching out, are they clamoring to see you get started? >> well, some fans are clamoring. you know you get -- when you put stuff out and you are out in the world and a public figure, people respond to you in a variety of ways. i'm sure you know that. >> seth: absolutely, yeah. >> many people are positive and you love to read their comments and you're so happy. other people leave comments that are more -- indicate a simmering rage and a full hatred of you. so we actually -- one thing we have done is we set up our own trolling hotline. >> seth: oh, for trolls. >> for trolls only. 1-844-4-trollz. trolls with a z. >> seth: okay. >> 'cause if you're a troll, it's with a z. >> seth: okay, yes. of course. >> so if you have any like horrifying -- we're just trying to consolidate all the comments. >> seth: so if someone wants to say something awful about you, instead of tweeting it at you, they can call this hotline and scream it. >> we just want people to know that their comments are important to us. [ light laughter ] we want to prioritize them in levels of threat violence. >> seth: that's very nice. and trolls appreciate that. >> you know what? we care about your opinions. >> seth: i think one of the very
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exciting things for everyone is that you are a woman with a late night talk show. >> i know! >> seth: that's very, very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] >> exciting for me too. >> seth: took far to long for that to happen. >> thank you. >> seth: and "vanity fair" did a photo shoot this year. i was in this photo shoot. it was a photo of people who had late night shows. you might notice one thing is similar about all these people. >> something is missing. talk about trolling. >> seth: you tweeted a photo. you thought it was remiss that they had forgotten to put you in. >> i felt like someone was missing from that photo. >> seth: and i have to say, i really credit the photo you chose. >> thank you so much. >> seth: so great. that's you as a centaur with lasers coming out of your eyes. >> you know, as one does. >> seth: what made you choose this photo? it is a wonderful photo. >> oddly enough, i had that photo on my phone. >> seth: a pre-existing photo on your phone. >> this pre-existed, because
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when we were putting the show together, i thought wouldn't it be great -- we were sort of talking about it in the summer. wouldn't it be great if they carved me into the side of stone mountain? just as a centaur with laser eyes shooting out at the confederate general? so my friend miles, who is an executive producer, on the show created that photo for me. i had it on my phone. i was in a pumpkin patch with my children and someone tweeted me this photo from "vanity fair." >> seth: the original photo. >> the original photo from "vanity fair" and i thought, it just so happens that i have this centaur photo. we put it together at a cider doughnut station on long island. >> seth: that is a perfect thing for a mom who just got a talk show to do. >> that's right. who is wearing a hideous bra underneath her leisure clothes. >> seth: i am not alone in saying how excited i am for your show. >> thank you so much. >> seth: and how well deserved it is and get on the air, because we're waiting for it. >> be crazy america. >> seth: samantha bee, everybody! "sisters" opens december 18th and "full frontal" premiers on tbs in february. be right back with music from andrea bocelli. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tonight's guest is the most successful classical solo musician ever, and one of the best selling artists in music history. his latest album, "cinema", celebrates the greatest movie songs of all time. performing "music of the night," from "the phantom of the opera", please welcome to the show andrea bocelli. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ night time sharpens heightens each sensation
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darkness stirs and wakes imagination ♪ ♪ silently the senses abandon their defenses slowly, gently night unfurls it's splendor ♪ ♪ grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender turn your face away from the garish light of day ♪ ♪ turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light and listen to
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the music of the night ♪ ♪ close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams purge your thoughts of the life you knew ♪ ♪ before close your eyes let your spirit start to soar ♪ ♪ and you'll live as you've never lived before ♪ ♪ floating, falling sweet intoxication
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touch me, trust me savour each sensation ♪ ♪ let the dream begin, let your darker side give in to the power of the music that i write ♪ ♪ the power of the music of the night ♪ ♪ ♪ open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind you and i can make my song take flight ♪
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♪ help me make the music of the night ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: andrea bocelli is on tour now. for u.s. tour dates go to andreabocelli.com. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to hillary clinton, samantha bee, andrea bocelli, and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey, folks! welcome to another fun-filled edition of "last call."

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