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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  June 14, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

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duty after a crash today. what you're looking at now is live pictures of a procession for officer michael katherman about to get under way this evening near the regional medical center in san jose. we presume they will soon be taking the hearse of the officer to the coroner's office about a 10 to 15-minute drive. this is a long line of san jose police cars and san jose fire department vehicles at mckee and jackson near the regional medical center where they expect to take the hearse over to the coroner's office. 34-year-old michael katherman, an 11-year veteran of the force, he leaves behind a wife and two sons. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- don rickles, lena dunham, musical guest dj shadow
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featuring run the jewels, and the legendy roots crew. >> questlove: 488, mexico! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! yeah! i feel the love tonight! welcome! hot crowd! looking good tonight! welcome, everybody! welcome, welcome, welcome! welcome to "the tonight show"! this is it! you're here! you made it! [ cheers and applause ] it's all you.
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thank you very much. welcome to the show. we're gonna have fun tonight. let's get to some news stories here. a big upset in the nba finals last night. that's right, the cavs beat the warriors in game five. [ applause ] [ boos ] big fan, big fan. lebron james and kyrie irving each scored 41 points. irving said he was just trying to help the team. then lebron said, "just don't let it happen again." [ laughter and applause ] that's enough of that. meanwhile, the warriors steph curry. we love steph curry. he just released -- [ cheers ] did you hear this? he just released his new shoes for under armour. these new sneakers. and a lot of people are saying -- you know what i'm talking about? i know you're a sneaker head, yeah. a lot of people are saying they're dad shoes. just see what you think, this is a real picture. [ laughter ] and dads were like, "well, whoever she is, that stephanie curry makes some
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nifty shoes." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ i like the way they're white i like them all night and i like them ♪ ♪ wearing new shoes >> jimmy: they do -- they do look like the shoes -- they look like the shoes my dad would wear when he mows the lawn. >> steve: yeah, like new balance. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you know? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: they should come with like, grass stain around the bottom. [ laughter ] actually, it turns out steph curry is coming out with a bunch of other products aimed at dads. first, he's releasing the "steph curry cell phone belt clip." >> steve: oh my god. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the coolest one. >> steve: s.c. man. >> jimmy: then he's releasing the "steph curry pleated khaki shorts." >> steve: love it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: and finally next week he's releasing a new pair of shoes called the "steph curry socks with sandals." [ laughter and applause ] so he's putting them all out. >> steve: hey. >> jimmy: they are cool. >> steve: bring it on, father's day. >> jimmy: got father's day covered, yeah. let's check in on the election here. i saw that donald trump celebrated his 70th birthday today. [ boos ] [ cheers ] that's right. i guess instead of blowing out his candles, he just insulted them until they put themselves out. [ laughter and applause ] [ as trump ] "put you out. you're the worst part of this cake."
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that's right, today was donald trump's 70th birthday, so to celebrate, here's donald trump and his closest friends singing "happy birthday." ♪ happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday ♪ ♪ dear donald trump happy birthday to me ♪ >> jimmy: isn't that nice? [ cheers and applause ] that was really cool. happy birthday, donald. actually, since it's donald trump's birthday, we thought it would be nice to go over some of his greatest accomplishments up until now. take a look. first in 1946, donald trump was born. in 1949, used blocks to build wall. made nanny pay for it. [ laughter and applause ] 1956, beat his friends at monopoly, then wrote his name on everyone else's hotels. [ laughter and applause ] after that, 1976, accidentally invents the duck face. look at this. [ laughter and applause ] next, in 1987, published "art of the deal."
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soon after in 1991, filed for bankruptcy. [ laughter ] 1993, inspired an entire line of dolls. i didn't really know that. [ laughter and applause ] 2004, he published his second book, "how to get rich." also in 2004, filed for bankruptcy. [ laughter and applause ] another milestone in 2009, he published his third book, "think like a champion." followed right after, by filed for bankruptcy. [ laughter and applause ] 2016, becomes republican nominee. and finally, in 2017, america files for bankruptcy. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] and this is a little -- >> steve: just a little timeline. >> jimmy: you see how it was done. >> steve: little factual, little fyi. i saw that sunday's episode of "keeping up with the kardashians" revealed that kim, khloe, and kourtney found out rob was engaged to blac chyna by reading it online. [ audience oohs ] in rob's defense, that's also how the kardashians find out they're even in the same room together. [ laughter ]
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like, "omg, tmz says you guys were also in the kitchen. where are you? [ laughter ] hi. i know you're here. [ laughter ] i thought you were somewhere else. but you're here. hi." [ laughter ] get this, you guys. uber just started letting users in seattle reserve a ride as far as 30 days in advance. though it's a little weird that they still let you see where your driver is that entire time. [ light laughter ] it's like, wait, taking his family to the beach. i read that the nasa spacecraft "juno" which launched in 2011 is scheduled to arrive at jupiter in july to take pictures of the planet. when asked what kind of camera it bought, juno was like, "crap. [ laughter and applause ] i gotta go back and get the camera." and finally, if you have kids you might want to listen to this.
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they just put out new sleep guidelines for babies which say infants need up to 16 hours of sleep each day. or as the parents put it, "hey, tell that to the baby." [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hot crowd. big crowd. we have a big week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, jay leno and jeff goldblum will be here. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jay's coming back, i'm so psyched. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: and we have music from wale, that'll be great. that's tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] later this week, we have dwayne johnson will be stopping by. we have something fun planned with him. [ cheers and applause ] plus, jim gaffigan, ricky gervais and brian regan will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] very funny, funny week full of funny people. speaking of funny people, we
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have a fantastic show tonight. i love this man so much. everybody loves him. he's a comedy legend and it's an honor to have him here tonight. the hilarious, the great, don rickles is dropping by. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] come on. >> jimmy: he's already mad at me. he's already backstage. he's mad. he's not talking to me. >> steve: what'd he say? >> jimmy: well he just doesn't want to be here. he doesn't want to come on the show. [ light laughter ] i keep -- i go, don, because i went and i had dinner with him last year, and i said, "you can come on the show whenever." he goes, "yeah, i want to come on the show but i don't play ping pong!" [ light laughter ] "you don't have to play ping pong. i mean, we do games and weird things sometimes with the guests. we don't do it all the time. you don't have to do it." i said, "just come on and talk." he's like, "whatever. jimmy kimmel over here." [ light laughter ] i go, "stop calling me jimmy kimmel." he did it all night. [ laughter ] so i talked to him. i'm happy he's here. i'm happy to have him on the show. but he doesn't want to -- >> steve: he's not happy. >> jimmy: no, he doesn't -- no. he's ready.
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he says i yell too much. >> steve: you yell too much? >> jimmy: he says, yeah, i yell when the guests are coming up. like right at this moment right here when i'm saying his name, that i yell it too much. every time he watches the show, he goes, "you yell too much. why are you always yelling? don rickles is here." you know, he's smacking the desk and hitting. i go, "well i'm excited that you're here." he goes, "all right, get out of here." [ light laughter ] so i just walked by his dressing room. i said, "don, it's jimmy." he goes, "who cares?" [ laughter ] i think he's going to be here. but he's the greatest. i love him so much. >> jimmy: don rickles is here tonight. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't wait. i can't wait. i love him. plus, she's the creator and star of the hit series "girls" and she's also -- she has a new documentary coming to hbo called "suited," lena dunham is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] always doing something fun. later in the show, lena and i are going head to head in a a game of box of lies. [ audience oohs ]
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plus, we have music from dj shadow featuring run the jewels! >> steve: woah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it's gonna be good. hey, guys, it's time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for pros and cons. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of "father's day." >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: it's this sunday. it's a day to celebrate all the dads out there. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of father's day. here we go. pro, it's the most important day of the year for fathers. con, besides mother's day. [ cheers and applause ] well that's -- >> steve: true. that is true. >> jimmy: pro, telling your dad you love him, you appreciate him, you're forever grateful for all he's done for you. con, trying to find the right text emoji to convey all that. [ laughter and applause ] they should make one of those. >> steve: yeah. that's tough. it's hard. >> jimmy: pro, he spent 20 years teaching you how to be a man. con, you'll spend 20 years teaching him how to use an ipad. [ laughter and applause ]
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we'll that's comes with the territory. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: pro, telling your father you're proud of him. con, having your father respond, "hi, proud of him. i'm dad." [ laughter and applause ] beautiful. good dad joke. pro, buying your dad a a treadmill with all the special features he wanted like a heart rate monitor, a a distance tracker and a a calorie counter. con, and a beer holder. it's important. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you gotta have a beer holder. >> jimmy: that one's true for my dad. he would walk on the treadmill and drink a beer. [ light laughter ] >> steve: hey, at least he's walking. >> jimmy: yeah, that's true. >> steve: he could be sitting and drinking that beer. >> jimmy: he could be sitting. exactly. yeah, that's true. >> steve: he's walking and drinking a beer. >> jimmy: he eventually stopped walking on the treadmill. [ light laughter ] >> steve: well, yeah. but at least now he's still drinking the beer. >> jimmy: yeah. exactly. pro, saying thanks to the man who brought you in this world. con, then adding, "okay, so, we good?" [ laughter and applause ] pro, giving your dad a pair of the new steph curry shoes. con, him saying, "i'm a dad, not a mall walker." [ laughter and applause ] they look comfy. i like them. >> steve: comfy. >> jimmy: they look comfy. >> steve: you can wear them
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anywhere. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, looking for a gift that says, "dad, i know we haven't always seen eye to eye, i know we've argued. but i'm so proud to know you, and i'm so lucky you're the man who taught me to be the person i am today." con, seeing a tie and going, "perfect." [ laughter and applause ] there we go right there. that's the pros and cons. we'll be right back with don rickles, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ (whistle) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ now go left, left, left, left. ♪ ♪ run to old navy for activewear from $5.00 and up to 50% off the entire store.
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you mean like they got married?t union of a cheez-it and a chip. umm... i guess... you'd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. oh, it's a lab coat so... hey everyone, joe's getting married! bam bam ba bam... oh, i'm not... we take time for our cheese to mature... ...in our crispy cheez-it grooves. for every 10 nights i stay, i get one free.s rewards program is simple. this however, will not be simple. you gotta ride the belt, captain obvious. i have liquids in my body! which has that one scene you forgot about.. so you use your go-to parental blocking device... which also happens to be your go-to snack. baked with real ingredients. no artificial flavors or colors. introducing good thins. your go-to good.
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after as their getaway car,t of foua new development:e a prius prius owners from all over america have descended on the chase - hi! to play what appears to be an automotive shell game with authorities. ♪ it's total confusion down here. the prius 4 have literally vanished. they're just gone. [laughing] i don't think anyone could have predicted this. toyota. let's go places.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a true legend in the world of comedy. there's just nobody -- [ laughter ] just let me introduce you. don't say anything yet. >> just shut up and do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he'll be performing this thursday night at the nycb theatre at westbury, here in new york in a show called "don rickles & regis philbin: a a rickles and regis laughfest." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the one and only, mr. warmth himself, don rickles, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a standing ovation. they love you! they love you! standing ovation! come on. that's it. see, this is great that you come on the show, because you should come on more often, because we do love you here, and you look happy to be here. >> you don't have to tell them. they know. [ laughter thank you for the standing ovation. god bless you. and i want you to know from the bottom of my heart, i'm doing this show, it's a mercy mission, believe me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> just read the notes that say, "you're the greatest." that's crap, there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're the greatest. >> that's it. [ laughs ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what? >> hide the funny finger.
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how is that, by the way, better? >> jimmy: it's doing better. thank you for asking. >> like i care. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i am happy that you're here. i get excited when you're here. >> well, i get excited too to be on a show that's this stiff. i'll tell you this. now, this show, you're doing great. i'm surprised you're still on. i really am. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> i mean, i go back to the days of johnny carson, rest his soul, and all the biggies, you know? and now you're one of the kings, you know, and i'll be honest. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the public is wrong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? i can't believe -- >> you're a great impressionist. they don't realize the impressions you do. >> jimmy: well, thank you, yeah. >> you don't have to lean over. i hear you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry, i do, i do -- yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> he got a frog on his ass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i'm happy you're here because you give me notes now and then. you tell me about the show.
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sometimes i'm too loud. >> no, no, first time we met, i said take your hands out of your pockets, remember? >> jimmy: i did. >> you used to do the monologue with your hands in your pockets. what was the score, 6-0? [ laughter ] anyway, that's a little deep. i'm sorry, i didn't realize we were in yugoslavia. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what was the score, 6-0? >> i know what i said. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, i'm sorry. i just wanted to remember it. that's all. i just wanted to remember it. >> god, i can't believe it. >> jimmy: you look so happy to be here. oh, my gosh. >> are you kidding? it's my dream for this kind of money. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's your birthday. you turned 90 years old not too long ago. >> 90 years old. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you still got it. you still got it, buddy. >> well, thank you. like my wife barbara said. she's not here tonight. she's at the jewelry store. [ laughter ] like she said, "the mind" -- as you know, you're a very young man yet. "but you got to work. if you keep the mind going, everything turns out pretty good." you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> if you just lay around on
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the couch, like i do, you go bad. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. you're constantly out on the road. >> well, yeah, you got to work and keep going. you young people, always keep going because if you stop and just hang around. like my grandchildren, and they're not kids anymore. but people always say, "what do you doing, ethan?" "i'm going to relax." anyway. [ laughter ] 17, he's relaxing already. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you do the show with regis philbin, who we love as well. what happens with that show with regis philbin? >> well, it's made it weak for me. [ laughter ] no, regis is a dear friend. 40 years, we know each other. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, he's a great guy to be with, you know? if you're on an island, and you're lonely, you need him. he's the kind of guy going, "i'm regis!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he'll wake you up, let you know you're alive. >> you know, for all those years he was on those talk shows, and he's always been a a prince of a man and a great challenge, really. and we go out to dinner once in a while, and it's always great, because he never picks up the check. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's always good for him, yeah.
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>> jimmy: no, you know, i want to ask you these questions because you go, and you come here and you have these stories, but you hang around with, not only regis, but there's other legends, frank sinatra. >> oh, you know, rest his soul. you young people, he was the most charming, terrific, man in the world. besides his great voice, he was fun to be with, you know. >> jimmy: but you have these stories -- can i have you tell these story about how you had frank come over to impress a a girl that you were -- >> yeah, well, those days, i was -- how old were you when you got married? >> jimmy: i was probably 34, 35. >> is this a guessing game? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. >> no, no, 34 -- and i was about 38, something like that. anyway, so i was with this girl one night. i said, "listen, frank." he was at another table in sam's hotel in vegas. i said, "frank, if you could come over and just say hi to this girl, it would help me a a lot. because she said, 'do you know frank sinatra?'" and she was putting on the lipstick, you know, up around the nose practically. [ laughter ] and i said, "yeah." i said, "don't worry, sweetheart, good friend." he called me "bullet head," by the way.
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i said, "frank." he said, "yeah, bullet head." "if you could come over and say hello while i'm sitting with her." you know, it's a score. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm there. he said, "you got it, kid. you got it. but don't come right away." so i'm sitting there. all of a sudden, frank walks over. he goes, "hi, don. how are you?" and i go, "not now, frank! can't you see i'm eating?" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good story to make him do that. [ applause ] well, it was your 90th birthday. we wanted to do something special for you tonight. so we have a special cake if you don't mind. and here to bring it out is my main man, regis philbin, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, buddy. this means a lot to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> how are you? >> jimmy: you guys know each other. [ cheers and applause ] this is regis philbin. you guys know each other. >> oh, my god! >> jimmy: that is regis philbin right there.
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>> look at this cake for you. happy birthday! >> jimmy: happy birthday to you, don. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: go ahead and make a a wish. close your eyes and make a a wish. >> you close your eyes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not making a a wish. you close your eyes. >> all right, i'll close my eyes. and you just disappear. all right. >> jimmy: all right. make a wish. make a wish. >> before i even touch the cake. i have diabetes. but this will really kill me. [ laughter ] i do, i do. all right. i'll make a wish. >> jimmy: just close your eyes and make a wish. >> okay, you close your eyes. >> jimmy: there we go. there we go. >> he has writers for this. >> anyway, okay. i'm going to blow out the candle and then go back into the mind, okay. [ laughter ] >> make a wish first. >> don't tell me what to do. [ laughter ] >> just make a wish. >> never tell a jew what to do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a second, come on. >> we're chosen people. we had a couple of bad breaks, but the chosen people. okay. one, two, three. [ laughter ]
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>> oh, one of those trick candles. >> you can't even do that. >> jimmy: there we go! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don rickles! happy birthday, don! regis philbin! [ cheers and applause ] go see don and regis this thursday at nycb theatre in westbury. we'll be right back with lena dunham. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ owen! hey kevin. hey, fancy seeing you here. uh, i live right over there actually. you've been to my place. no, i wasn't...oh look, you dropped something. it's your resume with a 20 dollar bill taped to it. that's weird. you want to work for ge too. hahaha, what? well we're always looking for developers who are up for big world changing challenges like making planes, trains and hospitals run better. why don't you check your new watch and tell me what time i should be there. oh, i don't hire people. i'm a developer. i'm gonna need monday off.
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again, not my call. officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. woo hoo! over you to you tom! things have gone totally around the bend. has the world gone completely bold? new doritos mix. four snacks in one. (vo) you can check on them. you can worry about them. you can even choose a car for them. (mom) honey, are you ok? (child) i'm ok. (announcer vo) love. (mom) we're ok. (announcer vo) it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a golden globe award-winning creator and star of the hbo hit hbo series "girls." she also produced a brand-new documentary called "suited," which will air june 20th at 9:00 p.m. on hbo. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome lena dunham! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: welcome back. >> i'm so stoked to be here! it's been exactly a year since i've gotten to be in your presence in this fashion. >> jimmy: oh, you gotta come more often. >> i really want to, you guys don't invite me that much. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, you can come next week, if you want you can come tomorrow. >> great, i'm so thrilled. and, to be here the same day as don rickles. i mean it's all just a surreal dream. >> jimmy: it's an honor, right? this is fun, right? to get to see him. >> it's the best. i love to spend time with you. and the audience knows that we have a back story, so. >> jimmy: we do.we have a a thing, yeah. >> an energy. >> jimmy: i got to say congrats on season five of "girls." >> yes. >> jimmy: is that this season? this is season five. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's a fantastic season. >> thank you. yeah, we had a really great time making it. now we're shooting our final season, season six. >> jimmy: that's it? >> that's it. >> jimmy: the final one?
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>> it's the final countdown. >> jimmy: i know, are you sad? >> yes. i feel like the sadness is going to hit me super hard -- hi. i feel like the sadness is going to -- >> jimmy: didn't questlove, didn't you do the opening of "girls"? >> no, he's doing it this season. >> questlove: not yet. >> he's got my e-mail address and we're in communication. [ laughter ] on a number of topics. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, wait a a second. wait a second. [ laughter ] because you do a different opening. >> we do a different color to our opening credits. and he put in the request a a while ago that he might like to be the man who decided the color. and i just keep f'ing it up. it's like the one thing i really haven't been able to nail. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so this is the year we nail it. >> jimmy: sorry to keep bringing it up. >> it's okay. [ laughter ] so yes -- >> jimmy: what a great season, i've got to say. i love, obviously, the girls in "girls" but also andrew rannells is fantastic. >> he's the best. he's one of most delightful people in the world. >> jimmy: yeah, he's a good guy. you're always doing fun stuff outside of the show as well. so we're going to get to that. but i follow you on instagram. you've been putting a lot of throw back thursday photos of you.
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and i have a really cute picture. this is you at 7 years-old. >> yes. >> jimmy: explain this -- look at this. [ audience aws ] i mean, this is all business. >> so, we were getting our picture taken. a family portrait by this really amazing photographer. timothy greenfield sanders. and then i was pretty excited because i had purchased this blazer at daffies? does anybody remember daffies? [ applause ] a discount super store. this blazer was nicole miller kids, and i remember it was $49.99, which was a real -- it's a lot of money to spend on a kid in 1994, or whatever. >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. >> so i was like, i need this blazer. it's going to help me become who i am. my father had given me this brooch which was a symbol of african fertility -- [ laughter ] so that's a cool gift to give to a 7-year-old. [ laughter ] and then i was, like, we finished the family portraits. and i was like, let me in there, i've got something i need to do. >> jimmy: you wanted one by yourself? >> i wanted one by myself and i wanted one that really expressed what i felt what my station in life was.
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which was like, mogul power. >> jimmy: you were all business. >> my mom told me at this point in my life i referred to my bedroom as my office. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, i'd be like, "heading into the office." this blazer, i want you guys to know, i would wear this to school with a rotating array of brooches, and then come home and be like, "why don't i have any friends?" [ laughter ] i think it's super clear from this picture. >> jimmy: this is not a a 7-year-old. >> i was reading barbara streisand's autobiography at this point. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you werealso really into the theater, puppet shows. >> so into puppet shows. to the point my parents were exhausted. my mom says people used to feel sorry for her on the subway. because we'd be riding the subway and i'd be like, "do you want to hear my long island accent? do you want to hear my italian accent?" she'd be like, "no one wants to hear any of it!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really, either one? >> no. >> jimmy: 'cause i have two little girls now. they're just starting to figure out puppet shows. they love it. it's really, really fun. but i've never had a theater in my own house. a teatro? >> my parents had just gotten back from italy and made the
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choice to build me this teatro. >> jimmy: you think it's a big deal. but it has a teatro of lena. they also -- just your face. describe the disgust of this teatro. [ laughter ] >> i was pretty peeved because my sister was one, useless, and i was like, "why in god's name would she get her name on the teatro, when all these performances are 100% me, creatively and otherwise?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i created, produced, directed and starred in my puppet show. this is my teatro! >> yes. this is my teatro! i would like you to know my parents took the teatro away and put it in storage about six months after they gave it to me. the biggest thing, that i was into was -- i had a hairless cat at this point. guy, may he rest in peace. another ill-conceived gift from my kind and loving parents. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a hairless cat? >> i hairless cat because my mom's allergic. so she got me this beautiful hairless cat. this little pink creepy sweetie guy. and i got in trouble because for a role in the puppet show, i drew eyebrows and a toupee on him with a sharpie.
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[ laughter ] and i remember my dad screaming, "the cat is not a a toy!" [ laughter ] and then the teatro was gone. and it took like six months for the sharpie -- it's hard to get sharpie off a a cat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. do you think that's where you got your bug? that's where you got the idea to be an actress and a writer and a director and a creator? >> definitely. and i think my parents were like so deeply indulgent. my mom just recovered a tape of me and, like, i guess i'm around this age, and she gave me a cassette player. and it's all me going, "this is lena dunham's cat radio hour! an hour devoted to cats!" [ laughter ] and it's like, horrifying. i did a whole commercial for science diet. like a whole -- i was like, "feed your cat science diet. anything else is garbage!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you wanted to do it, man. you had the voice. >> i wanted to do it. i was like, mom, how did you stand this? she was like, "this was the best because you would go alone in a closet with a tape recorder and i could just be by myself." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. well i think it added to what you're doing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: "suited." please tell everyone what this documentary is.
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>> we're so proud of this. jenny konner. my creative partner and i have produced a documentary by a a director called jason benjamin, called "suited." and it's about a tailor in brooklyn. called bindle and keep. >> jimmy: bindle and keep? >> bindle and keep is the name of the tailor. i think it sounds very sophisticated. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they create clothing for trans and gender-nonconforming clients. so, it's about -- what i love about it, is it's a a really, you know, we talk a a lot about the civil rights issues that are facing the trans community and i'm so glad we do. but i love that this is a a little bit more of a a day-to-day way in to certain aspects of the struggle. like, we all gotta get dressed. look at you, you get up and put a suit on every day. some days it probably feels good and some days we go, "i feel like garbage." >> jimmy: not really. i mean -- [ laughter ] no i'm just kidding. of course, of course, of course. >> and we forget how much clothing impacts and informs our identity. and so when you're part of a a community where nobody is thinking about making clothing specifically for you, when you get a piece of clothing that
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really fits you, it's a really emotional moment because you get to really settle in to your identity. and i got to get a suit made by them. and just by being kind of a a chubby girl in hollywood, i'm not comparing that to the challenging experience of being a marginalized person in america. but i mean, in the world we work in, having a butt is basically illegal. and so it's really nice when you put on clothes and they fit. they built me a suit and i was like crying. 'cause i'm just so used to like -- [ bleep ] using -- i just cursed. [ laughter ] i'm just so used to having to take a pair of pliers to get my pants on that it just felt so good to put on clothes that fit. >> jimmy: there's nothing like a tailored suit or anything tailored at all, it's a game changer. but you'll see in this clip. it's beautiful. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's from lena's new documentary "suited," which airs -- >> i'm sorry i cursed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we just had don rickles on the show. i think you'll be fine. [ laughter and applause ] don't worry about that. >> i asked judd apatow if i
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should ask mr. rickles for a a picture. he said yes. and i said, "should i ask for a a picture where he's holding my breast?" and he was like, "have a little respect." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no -- >> no, he doesn't want it. i do want it. it's complicated. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anyways, let's show a a clip from lena's new documentary called "suited." >> yes. >> jimmy: it airs june 20th on hbo. take a look at this. >> every client is different. i love to make them suits and potentially make them feel as good as they deserve to feel. >> the shoulders? >> 15 and a half. 11 and a quarter. >> it's all about just feeling great in your body. especially when people have been struggling their entire lives, and they finally get into something that really fits them. that really fits them the way they always envisioned something would fit them. that's not fashion anymore. and that's what we're after. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "suited." lena and i are playing box of lies when we come back. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with lena dunham. we're about to face off in a a game of box of lies. now here's how it works. upstage there are a bunch of boxes containing objects neither of us have seen before. taking turns, lena and i are going to select a box and open it on our side of the table, out of view of the other person. you'll remove the object from the box, show it to the audience. and then look at your opponent and tell them what's in your box. you may be lying. you might be telling the truth. your opponent has to guess either lie or truth. if you guess correctly, you get a point and you guess wrong, the other person gets a point. first to two points wins. lena, you're our guest. why don't you pick the first box. >> i would like the audience to select the box. >> auidence: nine! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: wow, that was a a scream. >> i heard nine. >> jimmy: a blood-curdling scream. >> four, four, four, four. >> jimmy: blood curdling scream from the audience. all right, there you go.
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>> there's been consensus on four. >> jimmy: okay. that was a little hint right there. looked a little mid-weight for me. didn't look heavy, didn't look light. not sure what it's going to be. [ suspenseful music ] ♪ [ laughter ] uh-huh. okay. this is a good poker face right here. this is a good -- yep, you're thinking, "i don't know if it's funny, not funny." >> it's pretty funny. i'm having a little trouble. okay. sorry. it's just really funny. it's a banana. but it has had sideshow bob hair applied to the top of it. >> jimmy: yep. >> googly eyes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and a little hole is cut where a raisin has been placed like a nose. i don't -- i can't make this up. so that's what they gave me. >> jimmy: you can't make it up.
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why would you make it up? >> why would i make it up? it's insane. why would i make that up? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let me tell you something, lena, this isn't any teatro. [ laughter ] this is box of lies. and i say you lie! am i correct? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah! ♪ what was it? that's pretty funny, though. >> it was funny. i know how i messed up because i went too far with the oh my god, look at this thing. >> jimmy: that was a giveaway. >> yeah, i messed up. >> jimmy: guys, what number? [ audience shouting ] this guy yelling nine. screaming. okay. let me go. [ strained ] all righty. come on. come to daddy. ooh -- oh, boy. >> this is a charade! >> jimmy: so heavy, this is not a charade, this is real life. this is hard game to play. wow. of course.
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[ singing ] [ laughter ] it's a barbie hot tub with three of the brady bunch kids in it. [ laughter ] >> you're the biggest liar i ever met in my life. >> jimmy: want to rethink that? >> nope. >> jimmy: you're correct, okay. [ laughter ] big deal. a rubber duck. i stuttered a little bit. >> three of the brady bunch kids inside? first, like you could recognize a barbie hot tub immediately. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i probably could. i have two little girls. and i collect barbies. [ laughter ] >> that is of the '80s, my friend. >> jimmy: throw my age around. [ laughter ] what number for lena? [ audience shouting ] three, one? okay, here we go. ♪
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>> okay this one's not heavy but it's not not heavy. let's see. >> jimmy: this is for the win. whoever wins this wins the whole thing. [ dramatic music ] okay. [ laughter ] >> it's a book of grimm's fairy tales. >> jimmy: okay. >> with a little tag that says "open me." and then i opened it. and there's a fat bottle of whiskey inside. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> i don't know what to say. don't know what to say except -- [ mocking ] >> jimmy: i don't know -- i don't know how it got here. i didn't even know. really? [ laughter ] you don't know how it got here? you're the one who opened the box. that was in the box.
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>> it's just so weird. it's so weird. [ laughter ] like, what am i supposed to say? i can't lie about this. it's too weird. >> jimmy: now i'm thinking you might be telling the truth. [ laughter ] >> i mean, it's just -- >> jimmy: it's just what? you lie! >> no! >> jimmy: gah! i'm so mad! [ cheers and applause ] it really is a grimm's -- i thought -- grimm's fairy tales. ah! lena dunham, everybody! "suited," airs june 20th at 9:00 p.m. on hbo. we'll be right back with a a performance by dj shadow featuring run the jewels. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ hey, i'm in heaven. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is a trailblazing instrumental hip-hop dj and producer whose new album, "the mountain will fall" is out
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june 24th. performing "nobody speak," featuring run the jewels, give it up for dj shadow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey picture this i'm a bag of dicks put me to your lips i am sick ♪ ♪ i will punch a baby bear in his lips give me lip ♪ ♪ i'ma send you to the yard get a stick make a switch i can end a conversation real quick ♪ ♪ i am crack i ain't lying kick a lion in his crack ♪ ♪ i'm the i will show up at your crib take a hit♪ ♪ hit your momma on the booty kick your dog cut your cheek ♪ ♪ fat boy dressed up like he's santa took pictures with your kids ♪ ♪ we the best we will cut a frowny face in your chest little wench ♪ ♪ i'm unmentionably fresh i'm a mensch get correct ♪ ♪ i will walk into a court steady right screaming yes ♪ ♪ they are guilty all my brothers they are death ♪ ♪ hey hey you wanna hear a good joke ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked ♪ ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked ♪
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♪ hey ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked ♪ ♪ get running start pumping your bunions i'm coming ♪ ♪ i'm the dumbest who flame throw your function to funyons ♪ ♪ flame your crew quicker than trump sucks ♪ ♪ you buzzin' ♪ now face the flame sucka your fame and fate's done with ♪ ♪ i walk charlie brown peppermint patty linus and lucy ♪ ♪ put coke in woolie smoke doobies and roll with snoopy ♪ ♪ i still remain that fat black rapper that's spits a loogie ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ladies and gentlemen, dj shadow! ♪ hey hey hey hey [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked hey ♪ ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked hey ♪ ♪ ♪ nobody speak ♪ nobody speak ♪ nobody speak ♪ nobody speak ♪ nobody speak ♪ let's go let's go ♪ ♪ only facts i will shoot a
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baby duck if it quacks with a luger ♪ ♪ top billin' come cops and villainous shots blocked ♪ ♪ shipped off and caught y'all feeling it ♪ ♪ el-p killing it killer mike killing it ♪ ♪ what more can i say we top dealing it valiant without villiany viciously file victory ♪ ♪ burning looting and pillaging burn towns and villages ♪ ♪ murderers try to hurt us we curse them and all their children ♪ ♪ i just want the bread and bologna bundles to tuck away ♪ ♪ i don't work for free i am barely giving a buck away ♪ ♪ tell little johnny mommy take their stuff away ♪ ♪ here's some fun son now run get it the gutterway ♪ ♪ hey mike ♪ yeah ♪ you want to hear a good joke ♪ ♪ hey hey hey el you want to hear a good joke ♪ ♪ new york you want to hear a good joke ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked hey ♪ ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked ♪ ♪ hey hey hey hey ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked ♪
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♪ hey hey hey ♪ nobody speak nobody speak nobody speak ♪ ♪ nobody speak nobody get choked ♪ ♪ >> dedicated to all of the victims of violence from chicago to orlando. spread peace. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you so much. dj shadow! run the jewels! [ cheers and applause ] "the mountain will fall" is available for preorder now! we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to don rickles, lena dunham, dj shadow and run the jewels! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentleman. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night.
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i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- maya rudolph -- from "game of thrones" actor michiel huisman -- music from brandy clark -- featuring the 8g band with john tempesta. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. that's good to hear. let's get to the news. president obama gave a speech this afternoon in which he angrily called out republicans for being too obsessed with his refusal to use the term "radical islam" or as fox news reported

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