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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  July 22, 2016 12:37am-1:38am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ] >> live from 30 rockefeller plaza, it's late night with seth meyers. tonight, carlo, featuring 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'mset meyers, this is late night, and we are live at 1:23 a.m. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. how's everybody doing this morning?
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[ cheers and applause ] all right. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump gave a 76-minute speech tonight, and there was definitely a scene. >> law and order -- law and order, law and order. [ laughter ] >> hey, if you're going to give a 76-minute speech that late at night, maybe don't mention other things people could be watching. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] trump said law and order tonight more times than an actor's biography section of a broadway playbill. [ laughter ] sorry. that was the most new york joke. ivanka trump introduced her father tonight says he is color blind and gender neutral, which that means that trump cannot use the bathroom anywhere.
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[ laughter ] i have to go in my pants? no, no. today was the last day of the republican convention with the theme, make american one again, and after listening to trump's plan for the country, i nearly oned in my pants. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the republican convention had a theme each day, and today's was make america one again. let's be honest, that was not the first draft. [ appl on the first night of the republican national convention donald trump was taken a tasks by the advance after walking on stang with their song, star of the champion. really surprised the band, didn't want to be associated with you. and then we got to seeing; everyone over the past four days came out with the wrong music,
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by now the rnc walk-on music that should have been used. take a look. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ applause ] >> that was rnc walk-on music
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that should have been used. ted cruz spoke at the convention last night refused to endorse donald trump for president. i'm kind of surprised that he has a backbone that's been considering that he has no face bone. [ laughter ] her husband cruz was escorted from the republican convention by security as people yelled goldman sachs. if you say it three times, hillary clin -- if you say it three times, hillary will appear. donald trump said as president he would consider breaking nato agreements by immediately offering aid to ore countries. personally i'm the only nato that i ever thought i would hear associated with donald trump would be a shark nado. donald trump joined his running
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mate on stage and appears to make air tip gesture at him and tried to send trump to gay re-education camp. former trump adviser spoke out against critical of remarks about trump calling him a pimple on the of history. this, of course, would be the -- of history. >> speakin out against the republican party, saying intends for dangerous reproductive right. not only that, but they're the leading cause of national -- ladies and gentlemen. and what can i say.
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it's going to be a fun night. we're live. first time we've been live. watch this [ laughter ] [ applause ] that just happened. donald trump officially accepted the republican nomination in an hour plus long speech that casts a dark view of america based on fear and more information, for more on this it's time of a closer look, live. >> we leave in america where everyone can get the education and training that they need to
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succeed in college, in career, and in life, why? because america deserves better. why? because america deserves better. why? because america deserves better. >> i don't know. after a week of people screaming guilty and lock her up, america deserves better sounds a little tame. something boyfriend would say to her ex-husband after three roza. then marco rubio appeared a video message probably in hopes of one projected on screen, trump would stop calling him little marco. >> can you see me donald. and ted cruz, many wondered how cruz could endorse trump after bitter campaign battle, the answer was, he just wouldn't, he threw the hall elicited a hardy round. >> stand and speak and vote your
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conscience, vote for candidates up and down the ticket, who you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the constitution. to fight for freedom. to protect our god given rights. even if it goes with tone we don't agree. >> is there anyone more comfortable being hated than ted cruz. look at him. he's like an alcoholic who needs a drink first thing in the morning. he runs on booze. this morning, cruz was confronted by an angry delegate after making a pledge to support the nominee. >> i'll give you this response. i'm not in the habit of supporting people who attack my wife and attack my father. and that pledge was blanket
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submit if you go slander and attack hidy, i'm going to come like a sur vile puppy dog and thank you very much for my wife and father. >> when chris christie heard this, he said, roof, roof, roof, roof, down, chris, it's okay. [ laughter ] . after the speech it seems he was rattled when he took the stage that moved in for a kiss before bailing. what was trump's thought process there? i'm going to kill ted cruz. i'm going to kiss -- wait. don't tease us with an air kiss. america deserves better. [ applause ] . he gave impressive speech by
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donald trump the man and then she introduced her father and one big question, how would trump top his monday entrance when he entered like e.t. returning to earth. would he rise delivered by drone or would he arrive wearing ted cruz's kelp. instead, he decided with the inappropriate father daughter touching. >> and more traditional introduction for donald trump and the rock star one. >> mike pence must have seen that and thought, where was my hip tap. as for the substance of trump's speech he made one thing totally clear, we are currently living in a nightmare. >> our convention occurs at a moment of crisis for our nation, images of violence in our streets and the chaos in our communities. our roads and bridges are falling apart, our airports are
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third world condition. >> violence spilling across our borders, death, destruction, terrorism and weakness. >> trump talks about america like he was pitching a show to the sci-fi recognize. few things you're recognized but you're advised on him. these are people living in burned out shopping malls. must have made an effort to reach out, asking people in the lgbt community, it did seem like the first time he lgbtq [ applause ] >> he said that like he was getting pat say jacked lettered for the wheel of fortune final round. >> i'll do a t pat.
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>> he also tried to demonstrate why he has the humility to set us back on the right course. >> nobody knows the system better than me. . [ applause ] which is why i alone can fix it. >> i love when trump makes a gesture of a man who also can't believe this is happening. as you know, trump is not big on details he did lay out some of his plans. >> we will repeal and replace disastrous obama care. you will be able to choose your own doctor again and we will fix tsa at the airport, which is a total disaster. >> i don't know about that last one. if trump gets elected, the airports are going to be pretty
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crowded. one way ticket, dan, to anywhere please, anywhere. [ applause ] in the end, despite his history of questionable business practices, trump tried to cast himself as a hero of the working class. >> people who work hard but no longer have a voice. i am your voice. >> i can say, you're definitely my voice. i've watched so much the last year, i think in your voice. the day my son was born, i remember thinking, this is the best baby, i'm in love. i'm going to lo this baby deeply. that was the gist of trump's march. the far more revealing trump thomas came not in his speech in new york time's interview in which trump was asked about a series of urgent policy issues and responded with answers that were literally incomprehensible. for example, when a reporter asked him, what kind of change could you make in terms of nafta
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without fully withdrawing from it? how could you? trump responded with this. you've got to be fair to the country. everyone is leaves. carrier just announced they're ing a massive plant. so i have a friend who builds plants and then i have to go. i have a friend who builds plants that's what he does. he's the biggest in the world,c does. he doesn't build apartments, he doesn't build office space, he builds plants. i said how are you doing, he goes unbelievable, oh, great, that's good, thank youing about the united states, right, because he's based in the united states. i said, good, so the country is doing well. >> he said, no, no not our country, you've got to see what i'm doing in mexico, the new plants we're building. that's what he does, one story plants, you understand? well, i think i understand, but there's something i'm unclear, what does your friend do, is it
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plants? >> yes, i am a fan of the future and cyber is the future. that's right, donald trump is a fan of the future which. because as bad as those comments were, the most dangerous things trump said today, is that he wouldn't automatically defend nato allies if they were attacked by rush shachlt nato is -- trump said if nato ally was invaded by rush shay, have they fulfilled their obligations to us? if they fulfilled their obligation, yes. if not, he would tell the world, you would be fulfilling yourself. >> he should have his own line of negative reading cards. this will be a closer look. card. this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be rig we'll be right back.
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thanks for being here. with mor "late night," everybody! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ and these are the lungs. (boy) sorry. (dad) don't worry about it. (vo) at our house, we need things that are built to last. that's why we got a subaru. (avo) love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.
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ahh! this is probably more of a breakroom activity. ya think? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give welcome back everybody. please give it up for the band right over there. yeah, also he's sitting here with us all week. we had incredible of adam
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wheeler, thank you so much for being here. adam. and check it out, the upcoming new album, please shake it with me, available everywhere accept 16. it's great having you here, adam. i want to thank our live audience here. . everyone at home, we stayed with last night. now, if you've got a chance to look at the paper this morning, you might have seen there was a new study. it's time for "you burn" [ applause ] >> over here at the burner, let's turn on the gas and load
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it up. >> first stop, pokemon go. can we stop. if i wanted an app to help mep find monsters, i will download tender. in order to play this video game, i have to leave my house, that defeats the purpose of playing a video game. it's like flying to beijing to get chinese delivery. look up from your phones do you want to be a guy whose cause of death who is hit by a bus. pokemonth goment we all know what's like to walk inside someone's mouth. we know when it accounts for a nice breeze. okay, thanks for making it look like i just had sex on a stair master in a sauna with patrick
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huing. today, the heat. sandals, you're not a shoe, you're display case for the most disgusting part of the human body. why is it society loses its mind overseeing woman's nipple but we're cool looking at a toe. by the way no guy wearing sandals has ever gotten laid, just ask jesus, side burn jesus. hey, sandals, you burn. family camping trips, i'm sorry, is this suppose to be relaxing, sleeping on the ground, hanging to food and trees you know who doesn't have bear it is raddison. there's nothing worse when the whole family should share one tent. the 14-year-old boy says i can't master bait for a week. >> seth wouldn't last two days. >> camping, jump in, because you urn because you burn. the republican convention you know you're weak when people say
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maybe donald trump speech will turn things around. you've got plagerized speeches. you guys didn't get a five-minute standing ovation i could have started my show on time. hey. what are we suppose to do with a button for the losing candidate, send it to africa for the little kid for their carolina panther super bowl jersey? we'll edit that out. the republican -- republican convention, you're over, thank god you're over. thank god. you burn. live television, everyone is tuning in hoping the network sensor is asleep at the wee. let's find out. so. so. [ bleep ] meat balls ]
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bleep ] pie, grass [ bleep ] lipstick peacock big -- peacock ] -- live television [ bleep ] [ applause ] right on time. you burn. we'll be right back. me. this has been ya burnt. we'll be right back withle lesl jones. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody, our next guest you know from "saturday night live," starring in "ghost busters," and welcome back to the show, our very good friend, leslie jones. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> seth: leslie! [ cheers and applause ] lesl leslie. >> yes, baby. >> seth: want to remember and impress upon you we are live because i was watching you last week on live with kelly, 9:00 a.m. in the morning, and you dropped an f-bomb. [ laughter ] >> my curse words don't know what time it is. [ laughter ] >> seth: did you know as soon as you did it. >> as soon as i did it. when you talk to your grandma and a curse word slips your tongue, oh, grandma, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say it. >> seth: so happy to have you here. get this out of the way. you had a traumatic week, active on twitter, i am, you had a hard week, people starting attacking you on twitter. awful terminology. >> terrible.
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>> seth: i was proud of you, you stood up for yourself, drew attention to it, and it seems like maybe this is going to be the beginning of progress towards what happened on twitter? >> i hope so. i mean, first of all, i want to let everybody know that i did not leave twitter, okay. >> seth: yao back? >> i signed out to deal with what was going on, went to bed, and i woke up the next morning, and they are saying, oh, i left twitter? wait, i didn't leave! you know, one of those type of things of, like, insults -- what's scary about the thing is insults didn't hurt me. unfortunately, i'm used to insults, but what scared me was the injustice of a gang of people jumping against you for such a sick cause. it was, like, i mean, they just, like, everybody has an opinion, and it all comes at you at one time, and they really believe in what they believe in, and it's
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so mean. like, it's so gross and mean and unnecessary. so it was just, like, one of those things of, like, okay, so if i had not said anything, nobody would have ever known about this. it would have never -- all those people still would have an account, and it was one of the things of, like, hey, you know, what i said when i approached facebook, they was on it. twitter? i was on them, like, yo, this is -- okay, it's like, that's my favorite restaurant. i love the food there. three people just got shot in front of me. y'all need to get security. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: well, you know, there's a lot of really smart people in that company, and they really need to try to start sorting out, not just people like you, but people who don't have a public forum because it happens to so many people. >> and i met the ceo of twitter. there is a ceo. >> seth: really?
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>> it's just jack. >> seth: that's it. that famous when you have one name. >> jack. jack. he's cool. we got, like, a whole bunch of accounts taken off of twitter. >> seth: good. >> it's not right. it's not right to gang up on everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it's important because, of course, there's also so many lovely interactions on twitter. >> yes. >> seth: when you perform with the fans, and this is nice, outpouring of your fans putting to the videos. we have some. take a look. >> i don't care about the videos. we love you, leslie. >> we stand behind you and love you, leslie. >> we love you, leslie! we love you! the power of panic! >> leslie jones, you are a black statue beautiful woman. you got played, girl! why you let those people upset you.
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>> we love you, we want you to know this, you have a very special place in my heart, you inspired me and inspired a bunch of other human beings out there who love you. >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> that is so, yes, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] yes. that was awesome. that was, like, that was one of the things where i was, like, oh, man, that is so cool. like, you know, that many people reached out to you, like, oh, wow, that's -- i'm affecting that many? that's bold. that makes you go, oh, man, i'm not going nowhere. >> seth: stay put. >> and to let people know, freedom of speech, because i know a lot of people came at me with that, messing with freedom of speech, hey, hate speech and freedom of speech, two different things. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i have so much more to ask you about. you going to stick around? >> yes! >> seth: we'll be right back with more leslie jones! ♪
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>> what did you do? >> i fixed it. this is so inappropriate for this vehicle. >> oh, we have fun. ♪ >> let's go. >> let's go. >> oh, sorry, i'll let you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: leslie jones! i want to talk about "ghost
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busters," but quickly, this is exciting m one of the reasons you can't leave twitter, you live tweet "game of thrones," and because of that, we did a piece where we watched it together, i had not seen episodes, and you had. there was a moment in an episode that i want to show you real quick. okay, now this is upsets me. i love you, and i'm going to say this, but you need to fix that [ bleep ]. baby, move, go within you, you know what i'm saying? that's what i'm saying. zigzag. >> seth: oh. [ cheers and applause ] the reason i show that, the ran i show that -- >> it's so funny. >> seth: you met the actor.
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>> yeah. >> seth: and posted this video. so happy. i think you thought he was actually recon. >> yeah, man, and he had -- he told me the whole time we was talking, like, you know i'm not actually -- i'm not actually him. i said, you are [ bleep ], did they get me? >> seth: i don't know! oh, leslie. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i should have known! not to bring this up. >> it's 1:30. >> seth: it is. it's find. >> oh, my gosh, he was so cool. he likes the shishkabob. >> seth: so cool. all right. ghost bussers, a movie for kids? >> yeah.
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>> seth: whole family, right? >> yeah. they had some -- >> seth: all right, who would win between them? >> i hate when people ask me stupid stuff like that. walters is all -- ghost busters don't have ice equipment. okay? it's a whole -- that's just a whole different thing. >> seth: okay. so you did not appreciate my hypothetical? >> no, i don't! >> seth: let's move on. >> how will we take him out, dragon glass, i guess, build something with glass in it. so then we could. >> seth: see, see. >> i don't know why. >> seth: that wouldn't be a problem. you can solve the problem. i remember you were back in the dressing room, and you were -- i gave -- you were talking about
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the stunts you did in the film. i feel like you maybe got more than you bargained for with how many stunts you had to do. >> first of all, the whole time, i said, yo, paul, i'm a comedian, i'm a comedian! stop making me jump off stuff! [ laughter ] and he always would give me the key line, always, like, i'm a ghost buster. [ laughter ] go guest them ghost busters. [ laughter ] >> seth: you don't need to be moving around like that. >> yeah, tool for that. >> seth: you got -- this is excellent. i thought the first time i saw this this was a fan dressed up like you because it's so life like. that's really good. >> i, first of all, this particular picture doesn't have
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it, but i have one where i was sweating, like, the wax statue is sweating like i sweat? [ laughter ] i went up to her, like, why? what? >> seth: so you want -- you wish it was happier? >> no, it was just weird looking at myself, and i'm, like, when i'm dead, you're still going to be here. [ laughter ] i feel like i need to just like break in there with a lighter and stand under there. you're not going to live past me. >> seth: your dying wish to melt that? >> you're not going to outlive me. [ laughter ] >> seth: no one outlives leslie jones, that's my theory. will you stick around -- >> i'm a war lock. i know that's a male witch. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's all right. you're breaking boundaries. stick around? >> yes. >> seth: all right, leslie
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♪ >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody, we have carlo mirarchi, chef, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you, guys. >> seth: thank you for being here. now -- >> we have a lot of stuff. a lot of stuff. this is not a -- oh, it's alive. >> wow. >> seth: goodness. >> staying back here. >> seth: leslie, did you know that this was alive?
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[ laughter ] >> this is a king crab. >> seth: goodness. so where is this from? [ laughter ] >> this is from -- >> seth: you are a ghost buster, would you behave? >> from norway. >> seth: okay. >> yeah. [ laughter ] first things first, we have to have a drink really quick. >> seth: you want a drink? >> you started drinking before -- >> it's 2:00 a.m. this a is a drink we make in the restaurant, it's juice with gin in it. >> seth: >> gin always puts me on my back, son. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how much gin would you have to have to get involved with this? >> oh, that would have to be a gang. that's a big old at. what's that mean? >> seth: cheers, everybody. >> cheers.
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>> seth: oh! [ laughter ] >> yeah, it's strong. >> seth: so these are alive too? >> they are. >> seth: great. >> they take eyeballs, dude. >> of course, they are creatures. >> seth: this is -- >> i need another drink. [ laughter ] >> seth: this is, like, good late night stuff. [ laughter [ laughter ] well, leslie and i, 2:00 a.m., we'd be in the room, and what do you want to eat? you'd say a giant crab. [ laughter ] >> and gin. all right. so we got crab, shrimp, scallops. >> seth: what's that? >> sea -- >> there's prickly things on it.
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likes like balls -- >> don't make it that. >> no more green drinks for me! [ laughter ] set scallops. >> okay. >> alive. >> wait, live scallops? >> it was. this is -- oh, that smells good. >> we cure the scallop in it. [ laughter ] oh, boy. [ laughter ] >> seth: so the scallop is going in. >> scallop's in the pan. >> seth: everything go in the pan? >> we'll see how much time we have. >> seth: houw long you cook the scallop? >> just until a little color. >> chef ramsey.
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>> a little broth. >> what broth? >> melon. >> like watermelon? >> crenshaw melon. >> like from california? [ laughter ] there you go. what do you like? what do you like? >> white people be eating anything. [ laughter ] >> seth: this is all totally normal! >> it's not normal. you got a big crab here. >> seth: you didn't grow up in a white family. we have this every night. >> thank god. [ laughter ] i would have never ate. look at this, though. look at this. look at this. careful. look. >> leslie. >> oh, look, it's going to get your drink. [ laughter ] >> seth: this shrimp was fully alive when you put it in there?
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>> no. >> seth: all right, good. >> take the eyeballs out, it's dead now, for real. that's not how we cook shrimp in compton. >> corn meal, salt and perp. i have not seen you pull out the salt and pepper yet. >> seth: what are these? >> black lime. >> okay. >> it's black? >> dried lime. >> this is not a lime, dude. look how hard it is. that's the best smell. smells like coffee chocolate. man, if you could feel how hard this is, man. [ laughter ] that's a lime, though. >> seth: where's the scallop? >> on the plate already. >> seth: can we start it? >> we're getting there. >> the eyeball shrimp now. >> seth: we got -- we are live. we got about -- >> oh, live. >> 90 seconds.
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>> seth: all right. >> king crab. put that in there? really quick. >> is that him? >> how many -- >> oh! >> seth: how many servings of crab can you get? is a leg a serving? >> you going to kill him? he have to get bags checked first? >> it's good. try it. really? it's butter. it's just butter. >> that's not butter, dude. there's something in there. i don't put that on toast. what is that? >> butter. >> now that does look kind of tasty. >> yeah, there you go. >> seth: just patience, see what happens? >> a little bit. >> seth: now what do we do? >> i want to know what that is. >> seth: comes up to a sweat.
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okay. you don't have to -- all right, here we go. >> what is this? i don't understand why? >> seth: it was the gonad of the anim animal. >> like the balls? >> organ. >> seth: you told leslie jones it was the gonad. >> you serving up uterus, okay, i'm not eating a uterus. >> seth: this is going very well. [ laughter ] oh, goodness, what's this? >> flowers, coriander. >> seth: we're going to eat this, and we'll be right back. >> i'm not eating this. >> seth: we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: she ate it and she loved it, leslie jones jones, a this has been live, everybody. we'll see you tomorrow! good night, everybody! ♪
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