tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC August 29, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am PDT
co-fouer gave the is in a st. pope a model of a drone faceboo hopes to beam internet access to areas lacking connectivity. you notice there he got out of the suit and went back to the tee shirt look. >> yeah. you know what i also noticed was he didn't have a phone in his hand, which is refreshing, you know, being the hea o faceok. he can take a break too. face-to-face with the pope. thanks for joining us on this monday night. we'll see you back here on tuesday. cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller nter in the heart of new york city, it's "the toght showrring jiy fall." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- kevin bacon, meghan trainor, musical guests meghan trainor
featuring yo gotti and the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 522! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! oh, hey, that's what we want! that's exactly what you want right there. welcome, everybody. thank you so much. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] this is it. you're here at the show. you made it. you are the show. thank you, everybody. t t, here'what peoe night.
are talking about. of course, ithe electi. donald tru is trying tturn poll numbersround and relyold his suppters that if he's elected, the white house will become the people house. [ lighlaughter ] heas like, "becae i ain't living in that dump. laht ] i'm ing et a manon dn the street. applau and i'll check in evy her week [ laughter ] face timly." and listen to this, donamp's truoctor, harold bornstein -- you see th guy, he's in the news? well, he says he only ok five minutes to write the lette claiming that trp will be e healthiest person to er be esident. only took him five minutes to write that, yeah. [ light laughter ] in the doctor's defense, if you walk in exa and there'a ked ump you' like, ll rig -- yeah, no, yeah. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] put your clothes on. put your pants on. get out of here." get this, the ceo of wendy's says the election is hurting the chain's burgerales, because people are spending
less because they are worried about the future. [ laughter ] let's beonest here, if you're eating a wendy's baconator, yore probably not too concerned about the future. [ laer and applause ] i hears really good for your heart. gimme two baconators. [ laughter ] >> steve: gimme them biggie fries. >> jimmy: i want a small fry. >> steve: okay, all right. >> jimmy: i'm on a diet, dude. sve: i'm woied abouth futu. >> jimmy: ittast is a sandwi. and this is just crazy news. anthony weiner is back in the news. [ cheers and groans ] with another sexting scandal. he's like the michael phelps of sexting. he keeps saying he's going to retire, every four years he's back. [ laughter and applause i just said goodb -- why are you back? and he wearing a speedo. [ light laughter ] and, of course, lastightas the mtv video music awards. [ cheers and applause ]
one of the bigst moments of the night was the speech kanye west gave, where he acally mentioned the exes of im and his wife. [ light laughter ] as most people call that, a a best man toast. [ laughter and applause ] "janet was way hotter, but not nearly as nice as you, samantha. you're nicer than she was. she was our favorite [ light laughter ] speaking of kanye, he kicked off his "saint pablo" tour on thursday night, and surprised fans with a floating stage that moved over the audience. most fans said it was awesome, while the people who paid extra for front row seats were like, "where the hell's he going? [ lahter and applaus] kidding me? have the worst ats inhe house? kanye! come back, kanye!" [ light laughter ] ♪ kanye-o! nye-o! ♪ kye come back
or me gonngo home ♪ kanye-o.er and applause ] kanye-o. check this out, snoop dogg is speaking out against the nfl's ban on marijuana. you believe that? [ light laughter ] >> steve: shocked! >> jimmy: he's saying that the league is erreacting, that people who smoke weed just want to eat and go to bed. [ light ughter ] yoll be able to tell if a a quarterback is stoned if he keeps yelling, "hut, hut, pizza hut! pizza hut! [ laughter ] baconator! baconator! let's get a -- i lovehose things." some international news. kim jong-un reportedly threw a a huge outdoor dance party on thursday to celebrate the successf test of north koa's ballistic missile. residents described the party as fun, excitingand mandatory. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ i've been dancing for 11 hours! laughter ] kanye-o!
♪ say kanye say kanye ♪ ♪ say kanye say kanye say kanye-o ♪ oh, this isn't good here. two united airline pilots were arrested before a flight from scotland to new jersey over the weekend, because they were suspected of being too drunk to fly. [ light laughter ] what worri me about that story is the phrasing "too drunk." [ laughter ] he's just tipsy, don't worry. splash some water. he can fly the plane. [ laughter ] he'll sober up before we land, don't worry about it. and finally, i saw that twitter just added a "night mode" inthatdjusts the screen lightingke it easieror ers tweet ithdark it's also called the "anthony weiner mode." [ laughter ] there you go. we have a giant show. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, nice to see you guys. hey, guys, it is mony. we are so happy to bback. we've got a big week of shows coming up. mel brooks will be here tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] we'll talk to mel. hopefully about gene wilder. ve some great stories from mel. mel brooks. fantastic to talk to him david spade will be here. he's alws funny, david spade. [ cheers and applause ] harry connick, jr. has own ow. >> stevewhoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll talk to him about that. meg ryan will be here. [ cheers and applause ] we love meg ryan. and the most decorated olympian of all time. michael phelps will be joining us here at the show! [ chrs andlause ] we love michael phelps. then on friday -- you know i ve micndov magician dawire my vote micians, [ cheers and applause ] he's coming back friday.
i know -- have you seen the show at nomad? >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: the actual show? to iyore bee >> questloveye. >> jimmy: it'snbievae. he does this show at the nomad hotel here in new york. it's sold out like a month in advance. but if you can get tickets, go see it. dan white is coming back. he's gonna perform. it's a small room. and he does tricks right in front of you. n seen anything like -- he'll makehifloat. an'll be right in front of me. d basically he just does this. [ lahter ] >> steve: i can see your arm. >> jimmy: gotta use your imagination. >> steve: yeah, yeah. pretend it's not there. >> jimmy: look, it here? >> sve: my god, where is it? i don't see it. oh, your hand. >> jimmy: no, my hand's there, yeah. but look, ready? >> steve: ready? >> jimmy: keep looking. close your eyes for one second. now look back. [ laughter ] >> steve: where'd it go? [ applause ] >> jimmy: magic. he duff keoes st no, he's much er tn that. yoll f out. anyways, frida y got ce e the show it's going to be gat.
bufirst, we ve grehow tonight. this guy is just the best. from the new amazon pilot called "i love dick." [ laughter ] >> steveoh! kanye! >> jimmy: kany ♪ msay ny y kanye say kanye say kanye ♪ >> steve: hey, wait a second. >> jimmy: i'm not wearing my glasses. the new amazon pilot, it's call "i lo dick." dick is -- he playa a character, dick. >> steve: okay. oh, he plays a character. okay. >> jimmy: no, he's not -- he's the nicest dude ever. >> steve: he's lovely. >> jimmy: yeah. but if he wasn't, he's just playing a character. he's the nicest de ever. "ie dick" is a show on amazon. light laug ] >> steve: it's on amazon, sure. anthony weiner's in it. [ laught ] >> jmy: no, he's not. no, at's not true. [ cheers and appuse ] you know, i only saw the pilot. it might be true. >> steve: only saw the pilot? >> jimmy: i only saw the pilot. >> steve: i don't kn. again, i just like to learn. >> jimmy: you read the cue cards. you tell me what the show's called. >> steve: it's -- hey, guys, from the new amazon pilot
called "i love dick." >> jimmy: there you go. yeah. kevin bacon. >> steve: kevin bacon is here tonight, come on. [ cheers and applause ] the baconator. >> jimmy: i can't -- maybe i'm reading it wrong. maybe i'm reading it wrong. >> steve: why don't you try reading it? >> jimmy: we should all try reading it. tariq, can you just read the name of the pilot? >> tariq: oh, okay. from the new amazon pilot, "i love dick" -- >>teve: ok, we there we [ laughter and applause ] tariq: kevin bacon is here tonit. >> jimmy: just want mak pys the character -- kevie night, ybod [ cheers and applause ] fuy y,tegu we veim. it's a good show, too. kevin and i have something special planned, a little different. >> steveright,ight. -- we hope. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no. no, no, no, no, no. something totally -- no. >> steve: scrumptious. >> jimmy: it's a variety show. it's funny. >> steve: it's funny. >> jimmy: it's comical. it's musical. yeah, yeah, yeah. anyway --
>> steve: nothing to do with his show. >> jimmy: nothing to do with his show, no. i hope everyone watches it. but, no, we're doing a a different thing. >> steve: different thing entirely. >> jimmy: a musical thing. a musical -- >> steve: a little thing laughter just a little thing. j: , i dn'tay i s litt thing >> stevewondering. >> jimmy: yo avege siz thing is going tbe happeng tonigh stevehey!ppus] jim: t kn anyi don'ing about it plusshe iseyd taleed. every time s's oe show, she destroys. e's the best. our pal, meganrainor is stopping by. >> ste: ah! [ cheersnd appuse ] >> jimmy: her new record, "thank you." we're gonna talk to her. fousere show goi tperfm it's going to be a great show, everybody. >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's going to be fun [ cheers and applae ] you know, whenever i get some down time here at the show, i like to go on instagram and scroll through all the photos. >> steve: i know you do. you love it. >> jimmy: i just think it's so much fun. and the one thing i've noticed is that a lot of time two people will write the exact same captions. but the pictures they post will be completely different. i'll show you what i mean in this nt segment. it's called for -- it's called
"pre thi" ♪ ♪ picture this [ appl ] >> steve: that's peppy. jimthat's bad. ♪icture this cture this picturis ♪ ♪ yh, ptu this ♪ picture thi picture is ♪ [ laer ] >> jimmy: almost like michael mcdonald did it. like a doobie vibe to it, yeah. ♪ ♪ picture this [ light laughter ] les take a look at this first example. it's from cnn and webm they both wrote, "our number one source for a of our medical knowledge." here's the picture they posted. cnn posted a picture of dr. sanjay gupta. webmd posted a picture of donald trump's doctor. >> steve: wow, there you go. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the number one source. >> steve: number one source. >> jimmy: let's ke going. this one is fr natgeo and the discovery annel. >>oh, great.
>>immy: ah theyotote, "it's fascinating to watch these primitive creatures interact like real humans." [ light laughter ] natgeo posted a picture of a a family of apes. >> steve: aw. jimmy: the discovery chanl poed a pictu of the nttants from "bachelor in paradise." [ applause ] i can't believe they're -- >> steve: they're almost human. >> jimmy: look at him. he's dring a car. >> steve: oh, my god! they're wearinclothes. >> jimmy: yeah. that was an entrepreneur. [ laughter ] they are all entrepreneurs. >> steve: all of 'em. every single one. >> jimmy: "uh, i'm an entrepreneur. ugla ] my name's chad, and right now i'm currently an entrepreneur. and i entrreneu from my mom's basement. [ laughter ] a lo i entrepreneu all day long." this one is from the nfl and cvs. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: they both wrote, it'september." nfl posted a picture of a a football game. cvs posted a picture of christmas decorations. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: very early. >> jimmy: coming soon. might as well get it now.
>> steve: only 180 shopping days. >> jimmy: checheap,, eap. >> ste: cheap, cheap, chp. >> jimmy: chea ext one is fm e department of defense and the pentagon. they both wrote, "the wors trtor in american story." the depament of defens posted a picture of edrd snowden the pentagon posted a picture of the verizon guy who now does sprint commercials. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: i know, that's crazy. >> jimmy: what's the deal with that? >> steve: he's like benedict arnold, no less. who's he doing the ads for? >> jimmy: can you hear me now? here's a caption from bill clinton and melania trump. they both wrote, "what i see every morning en i wake up." [ light laught ] bill clinton posted a picture of hillary clinton. melania trp posted a picture of the naked donald trump statues. [ laughter and alause ] the statue is in her -- >> steve: the statue's in her house? >> jimmy: it may be in her bedroom. >> steve: you doknow. >> jimmy: i don't know this next one is from hilly clinton d donald trump. they wrote, "he was our first."
hillary clinton posted a a picture of george washington. donald trump posted a picture of the quaker oats guy. [ applause ] easy mistake. >> steve: easy mistake. >> jimmy: big deal. stewiiam penn.im: he d somethig >>te: did something. founded pennsylvania. >> jimmy: let's keep going. this next one is from tesla and president obama. they both wrote, "0 to 60 in 5 seconds." tesla posted a picture of a a car. president obama posted a picture ofimse in his first yen office and hif now. laughternd applause ] stressful job. >> steve: that is stressful. >> jimmy: stressful job. >> steve: the leader of the free world. atessful jimmyhere the lasone he. from hillary clinton and chris christie. they both wrote, "this should be free for every single american." hillary clinton posted a a picture of college. chris christie posted a picture of guacamole from chipotle. [ laughter and applause ] he's right! >> steve: should be free! >> jimmy: that's all the time we he for "picture this." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody! [ chee and applause ] ♪
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>> in 1989, tom petty released his critically-acclaimed solo album, "full moon fever." petty teamed up e.l.o. front man, jeff nne, to write e albus opening track, "free falling." it would become petty's longest charting and most famous song to date, and one would play at sold outhows for years to come. but, america never heard his first draft until no ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ she's a good girl loves r mama loves horses and america too ♪ ♪ she's a good girl crazy about elvis love horses
and her boyfriend to ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ ♪he loves hor d she so lov rnbows she loves flows rsesoo ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ she likes football but she's really loves horses she loves horses really rlldoes ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ but if there's one thing she loves most about horses that they're horses that's the one thing♪ [ laughter ] ♪ if she could be clear e's a se she lovehorses la dee da dee da ♪ ♪ she digs horses
yeah she's nuts about horses ♪ ♪ she enjoys horses says yes she does ♪ ♪ she loves horse hair rse teeth and horse noses ♪ ♪ she loves horse ses t ♪ she likes ponies t not as much as hses she lis rs much much more ♪ laughter ] ♪ sheikes unicorns but she calls 'em horny horses ♪ laught ] ♪ she loves horses yeah that's what she loves ♪ ♪ she doesn't like goats she don't like llamas she doesn't care for them crazy kangaroos ♪ ♪ and i'm a bad boy 'cause i don't like horses she loves horses
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♪ [ chrs and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an emmy award nominated and golden globe winning actor starring in a television pilot called, "i love dick" -- [ laughter ] which is available on amazon video, [ laughter ] you can go watch it and rate . [ laughter ] please welcome the very talented kin bon, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ jimmy: good, man. welcomback. we always love when you come on the show. thank you so much. than for dng tom petty bit with us. >> that was so fun. it was so intimidating. because, you are the master of
those musical impressions. >> jimmy: you had it nailed. i coul't do it better. i used to, but i can't even do tom petty anymore. >> and i'm just, like, such a a giant tom petty fan too so. >> jimmy: me too. >> i wasinof like th is lioubly terrying [ ht ] >> jimmy: it was great. what's your favorite tom petty jam? do you know if you have any? >> oh, my god -- >> jimmy: do you do favorites or no? >>'m a lismaker, but i g a docu the other y,e, literally, like a couple weeks o, and this great documentary on tom petty, and i just went, oh, that's my favorite, no, no, no, that's my favorite, no, no, no -- >> jimmy: that one's good, like, "oh, 'don't do me like that.'" that's a good one too, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, although actually, i'd say "don't do me like that." >> jimmy: "don't do me like that" is a good one? i like -- ♪ don't come around here no more ♪ >> actually, that's my favorite. [ laughter ] ♪ whenever you're looking >> that's a good one. >> jimmy: i love it. well, you're very musically inclined. we've done a beach boys bits on the show, with you, and thanks for always playing with us. but you're on tour all the time as the bacon brothers. >> yes, the bacon brothers just literally got off the bus like
a couple days ago, we were on the bus for over a month this time. >> jimmy: how's the bus? how would? see that's what i would look forward to is the bus. >> it's good. it's good. you know when we first started. >> jimmy: i would, i agree with that. i want to get on the bus. everyone go to sleep, get on the bus, we've got to get on the road. >> yeah, i know. i had exactly the same thing. we were in my brother's station wagon for many, many years and then we finally put together enough shows in a row that it made since to get the bus. and the first time i walked on, i was like, "oh, my gosh, this is amazing!" >> jimmy: yeah! >> oh, my gosh, "i'm bob seger!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah! >> i was just, like, knocked out. because you know -- i'd say the bloom is off the rose you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> as of right now it's ten old smelly dudes, bunk beds for over a month. >> jimmy: bunk beds! >> it gets -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i love bunk beds! >> it gets, it gets a little old. >> jimmy: i said it like arnold schwarzenegger. [ arnold impression ] "bunk beds!" [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "you've got to ride the bunk beds! we love bunk beds!" >> these guys are nodding, you know. i mean, it's like fun for a a second. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no come on. that sounds like fun.
it's like camp! >> you have your own bus, don't you? individuals? >> questlove: well -- [ laughter ] >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: some of us, some of us do, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> but, you know my brother and i, we're grown men, and he's nine years older than me. when we were kids we never slept in bunk beds, now we sleep in bunk beds. you know it's like, "hey what are you doing up there? come on man!" >> jimmy: "what are you dreaming about brother?" >> not quite like that. it's more like, "don't step on my head!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. are you a good -- but then everyone has to wake up at the same time. >> oh yeah. the thing is that i am -- what you don't want to be is what i am. which is, the neatest of any of them, so if you're the neatest guy, you're constantly cleaning up. so i'm constantly cleaning the bus, and i wake up earlier than everybody. i'm out there with, like, you know disinfectant spray, and i'm spraying around. [ laughter ] and i'm looking and there's, somebody left a bowl of cereal in the sink, and i'm just thinking, "what, what did you think was going to happen to the bowl of cereal -- [ laughter ] in the middle of the night?" >> jimmy: you're one of those guys, yeah, yeah. >> who's going to move that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who's going to clean these dishes, huh? [ laughter ] >> yeah. it's nuts. and that's who i am.
>> jimmy: that's your roommate, yeah. >> i know it's boring. but i've become that guy. so i was thinking it would be nice to have a bus butler. the roots probably have that. do you have a bus --? no bus butler? >> him! >> jimmy: tariq gets a bus butler? you take care of everything. >> throws everything away. >> jimmy: just throw it all out. >> tariq: that's my motto. you leave it out, you didn't want it. >> right, exactly. then the guy comes in, goes, "yo! where's my bowl of cereal?" >> me. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, "i like it soggy. yeah that's the only time i can eat it." [ laughter ] >> so -- >> jimmy: when you do -- when you do all your gigs, you do mostly originals or do you do covers as well? >> no we do mostly originals. yeah, we throw a couple covers in. we just did a -- we just worked out a mashup of "i want you back" and "foot loose," which was fun. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: oh that's cool. jackson 5? >> yeah, jackson 5 yeah. i'm a giant jackson 5 fan. >> jimmy: oh yeah, me too. >> big, big jack -- first song i ever wrote, i actually in my mind, wrote it for michael jackson from me. i was 11 -- [ laughter ] so it didn't make it's way to michael. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: no, no. not yet, because -- like, in the -- what type of michael, which year? >> like little boy michael because we're the same age. >> jimmy: like when he was young? like the, "ben" type of? >> right, yeah. >> jimmy: you're 11? what was the 11-year-old michael? was he doing, "ben" then? >> yeah. >> jimmy: "ben," where he's singing to rat? best friend was ben the -- [ laughter ] >> it was awesome. >> jimmy: what was the song you wrote? >> well, all of my songs, i was a very, very romantic child. i mean, i remember always being heart broken from the time i was little. i mean being in love with some, you know, girl in school, the teacher -- [ laughter ] you know, the girl next door, barbara eden in a bottle, you know, whatever. [ laughter ] i'm just like, i was always in love. so this is -- so the songs i wrote were heart break songs. so it was called "all the world looks lonely through lonely eyes." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 11 years old? oh, my gosh. dude we could have been friends at 11, come on. "all the world looks lonely through lonely eyes." >> yeah.
>> jimmy: and you wanted michael to sing it like -- >> i wanted michael to sing it yeah. >> jimmy: like sad like that like? ♪ all the world looks lonely through lonely eyes ♪ ♪ all the world looks lonely >> it wasn't 6/8 but that's okay. [ laughter ] ♪ if you're with me baby i'm just messing with you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was it fast or slow? >> it was slow. ♪ all the world looks lonely through lonely eyes ♪ ♪ ♪ all the world looks sad through sad ♪ ♪ 'shamon' now lonely eyes ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> i think it could've been a a great song. it couldn't wait. >> jimmy: no it's not too late. we can always make it happen. we would make it work. segue. let's talk about "i love dick." [ laughter and applause ] yeah. you play the character, dick. >> i do.
>> jimmy: and now explain how this is. it's very cool we live in a a time like this where in amazon -- uh, no, not that. [ laughter ] a time where amazon is going to say, if you go to amazon video, right, you watch the pilot, you watch "i love dick", and then it's only the one episode is made? that's crazy. >> yeah we just one-half hour pilot. i mean, it's really cool in one way, and in the other way, it's a really, really high profile audition. because we -- they put it up there, and, you know, people get to comment on it, and respond to it. and then they, my, my future, my -- food on my table, my children. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my gosh, please. >> it's in the hands of people who will either say yeah or nay. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah or nay, they went old school with that. like it's not yes or no, yeah or nay. >> i don't know how they do that. >> jimmy: probably five star ratings. >> i actually went on the other day and i wanted to check to see how it actually worked, and i was this close to sending a a comment, "it's awesome, i loved it." you know. [ laughter ] but i was like, no this is just
too lame, man. >> jimmy: yeah, because if you get busted, then you're like yeah i wrote five stars on this one yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, it is really great. you know, i love kathryn hahn. >> kathryn hahn is on fire man. >> jimmy: gosh she's fantastic. i just saw her in "bad moms." >> yeah, "bad moms" she's incredible. >> jimmy: she looks totally different though then the -- >> she's in "captain fantastic" with, you know, it's just -- she's doing amazing work. >> jimmy: and griffin dunne. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and if i could explain the show for you what i would say was. >> tough to explain, yeah. >> jimmy: well it's two -- a a couple who moved to i want to -- where is it? >> marfa texas. >> jimmy: marfa texas. i've never heard of -- >> audience: woo texas! >> all right. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i love that you bailed at like, "woo texas!" not marfa i would never set foot in there. >> north america! >> jimmy: dallas! [ laughter ] but it is -- looks beautiful marfa texas. >> it's incredible, yeah. >> jimmy: it almost looks fake yeah but it's a real place. and these guys move there, and
they both, husband and wife, they both secretly kind of fall in love a little bit with their professor. >> that's me, yeah. >> jimmy: and that's you. >> he's kind of like a, he's sort of a celebrity in the small town, you know, sort of an iconic figure, but only in this very, very kind of specialized place. >> jimmy: yeah, he's super cool, he wears cowboy boots, he like rolls his own cigarettes, and yeah, i guess. this is a clip. here's kevin bacon and kathryn hahn when she meets dick for the first time. yeah. take a look at this. >> hi. >> i'm chris kraus. >> hello, chris kraus. >> dick, right? >> that's me. >> well, love that you just go by dick, because usually someone would you know blend as born a richard that they would rich, rick, richie, ricky. there's so many. >> just dick. >> is it possible i saw you on a horse yesterday? >> yeah, i have a ranch just outside of town. >> oh. how big?
>> you want to know how big -- my ranch is? no more polite to ask a rancher the size of his acreage than to ask a lady her age. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there we go, that's useful. he's a stud! kevin bacon everybody! the pilot episode of "i love dick" is now on amazon video, go watch it and rate it. we'll be right back with meghan trainor. stick around, everybody! kevin bacon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ well she loves to say, "well, fantastic!" a lot. i do say that, you see... i study psychobiology. i'm a fine arts major. nobody really believes that i take notes this way, but they actually make sense to me. i try to balance my studying with the typical college experience. this windows pc is a life saver! being able to pull up different articles to different parts of the screen is so convenient. i used to be a mac user but this is way better.
hey, can we get some beers? beer! ice cold beer! what beer? ummmm... redd's apple ale! i'll take one too. me too! hey! redd's apple ale! redd's apple ale. crisp like an apple. brewed like a beer. i'll have that goat cheese garden salad. that gentleman got the last one. sir, you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. can i keep the walnuts? sold. but i get to pick your movie. can i pick the genre? yes, but it has to be a comedy. a little cash back on the side. with the blue cash everyday card from american express, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. throw. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express.
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>> jimmy: that's for me? >> yes, that's for you. >> jimmy: for me? first of all, you look fantastic. >> thank you. hi. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love it. >> hello. >> jimmy: i'm hoping this is what i think it is. >> i got a tail. >> jimmy: you got a little tail? >> i think. >> jimmy: can i -- >> yeah, i got a little tail. i'm a giraffe. >> jimmy: you of course are a a giraffe. i love it. [ laughter ] >> i didn't want to wear a a dress, and this is goes with my "me too" video. so, i went. i got you something. [ laughter ] i'm exhausted. >> jimmy: i'm so excited about this. >> oh, you got it. >> jimmy: yeah! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what do i do? how do i do this? how do i do this? >> put it on. put it on. >> jimmy: i heard you, though. i'll take it up -- i'll take the jacket off. [ cheers and applause ] >> ditto. >> jimmy: i have -- >> hi. >> jimmy: all right, just -- >> hello. >> jimmy: stall for time. [ rhythmic finger snapping ] just -- yeah. >> how you doing? >> jimmy: talk about the album. [ cheers and applause ] >> how you feel? >> jimmy: yeah, this is good right here. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i see my brother. what's up, bro? hey.
>> jimmy: this is super comfy. i like this. >> and i've already fallen on the show, so i'm already embarrassed of myself. >> jimmy: no, no, no. i do want to talk about that, though, by the way. [ laughter ] >> sweet. >> jimmy: yeah, this is nice. >> oh, oh, ooh, ohh. >> jimmy: wait. you got to help me on it. >> get it. get it. get it. get it. [ cheers and applause ] hot, hot, hot, hey. >> jimmy: is this right? >> yeah, i like -- they give you a little velcro version of it. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you. >> that's fine. oh, sorry. oh, hot. [ laughter ] oh, no! >> jimmy: watch it! watch it, kevin bac -- watch it, kevin bacon! >> i'm sorry. my b, my b, my b. yeah, i was helping. oh, i'm sweaty. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> put on that. >> jimmy: okay. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> yeah! >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> oh, great. >> jimmy: i'm so happy. thank you so much. this is awesome. [ sighs ] >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: please, welcome back to the show because we love having you here. >> you're about to sweat! >> jimmy: no, this is good. >> i'm sweating. >> jimmy: it feels good. >> okay. i feel good. >> jimmy: um, last time -- [ laughter ] last time you were here -- [ laughter ] last you were here -- >> yes. >> jimmy: you did, you just fall down. >> i did.
>> jimmy: you fell -- >> i was just so excited. >> jimmy: well, we loved you. well, you crushed. you hit a home run. >> too hot. >> jimmy: what song was it? was it "me too"? >> "me too," yes, this one. >> jimmy: you did 'me too." and, it was great, and it was going well. and i saw -- and it was great. and you did all the dances. i go, "oh, my gosh." it was -- >> what a star. >> jimmy: ten out of ten, and then, you looked at me. you kind of -- >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: you turned around, and you were, like -- you were, like, like, to the -- "great job!" and -- >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i was, like -- >> jimmy: then you did, like, a a turn this way -- >> i tried to be james brown. >> jimmy: but something, like, happened with your heels. >> i'm not james brown. yup. >> jimmy: and then, i just saw you just go, like, "woah, woah." [ laughter ] and then, like, and nothing i could -- i tried -- i wish if i was closer, i would haved saved you, but i was over at the desk -- >> yeah, sure, yeah. >> jimmy: watching, and i go, "okay." so then -- [ laughter ] i didn't do that. i didn't do that. [ laughter ] i went over. i went over, and i said -- >> you got there, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i said -- >> you laid down with me. thank you. >> jimmy: well, i laid down next to you. i didn't -- >> you could have been like, "get up!" you know, but you didn't. >> jimmy: i would never do that. but i said, "hey." i said, "it was all good up to the end." i mean, that was --
[ laughter ] >> yeah. you were like, "you were so close." >> jimmy: so close. it was perfect, perfect up until the last. so the -- [ sighs ] well, you got up, and this is what a professional you are. you did it again. >> oh, yeah. i did. >> jimmy: the whole song. >> i was like, "no, please. let me try again." >> jimmy: and you didn't fall. >> i didn't fall. >> jimmy: no, and then, when were done with the show, i said, "thank you so much for being here." and you go, "i think we should air the one where i fall." >> yeah, because i went back to the -- i always get the sound and how good it sounds. and i went back, and i saw both takes, and i saw my face just was full of fear on the second try, like, "don't fall. don't fall." and i was like, "do you know what? the first one's better. let him have it. i'm gonna fall eventually one day, so let this be it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] that's how cool you are -- [ applause ] for doing that. and, the song went platinum. >> yes, it did because of that. >> jimmy: it went plat -- because of that. thank you. the song went platinum. i mean, the first two songs off this album went platinum. >> yeah, they're doing well. it's great. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: this is the most fun thing ever. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. let me sing my song. >> jimmy: you're on "the untouchable tour." >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's the name of the
tour, and you're going to be at radio music city hall next week. >> i am. i've never been there. >> jimmy: you've never been inside. >> i've never been inside. i don't know that it looks like. >> jimmy: oh, it's gorgeous. >> i'm gonna google it eventually, but -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i never -- >> jimmy: oh, you're gonna freak out. >> oh. >> jimmy: it's the best sound. it's beautiful. it's, like, golden -- it's gorgeous. >> wow. >> jimmy: we're gonna be neighbors for, like, today. >> oh, my god. you want to come by? >> jimmy: i'm gonna show up -- yeah, of course. i'll come by on this. yeah, i'll be, like, "hi!" >> "welcome." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "i'm here to see meghan! yeah, let me in!" [ laughter ] "why don't you let me backstage?" yeah. >> i where this for sound check. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, you wore that, like, walking around last time. i loved it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, they look good. >> they're comfy. i don't like clothes or dresses, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: me neither, yeah. [ laughter ] my clothes or dresses, yeah. what are you doing for us tonight? >> i'm singing "better" tonight, and i'm not going to fall because i have comfy shoes on. >> jimmy: yeah, all right. you have comfy shoes on tonight. [ applause ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. and i got my friend, yo gotti here. >> jimmy: you're here with yo gotti. >> yo gotti. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yo gotti, and you got comfy shoes on. >> comfy shoes. >> jimmy: you know we love you,
and i wanted you to be here every single week. i tell you that all the time, but i really mean it. we love you. you're so nice. >> i love you, too. >> jimmy: your staff is nice to us, and we just want you to have the best time here. and, so when you -- yeah, and so, when you -- yeah. when you fell, i felt bad, because i, "oh, no! i don't want you to fall down." [ audience aws ] you know, i -- i didn't -- >> "oh, no. we like her." >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] with some people, it was just, "ah, let her fall." >> i'm not the only one that fell, right? that's not true. >> jimmy: yeah, i think, uh -- [ laughter ] >> i can't be the only person that's fallen on the stage right now? >> jimmy: anyone ever fell? >> embarrassing me right now. help me out. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, they're pointing at you, sir. you, mr. dinosaur. >> jimmy: oh, me? >> you did. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i guess i did fall, yeah. >> yeah? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: of course i fell -- i've fallen a lot of times, yeah. [ laughter ] well, i fell bad. do we have the chelsea handler thing? do you have that clip? >> oh, yes. >> whoa! oh, my god! oh, my god, no! [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: my hand -- my hand went into broken glass. >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you laughing -- what are you laughing at? >> do you have scars on it? that's not funny. >> they have it on -- >> jimmy: it was rough, man. i was just trying to go with the flow because we just started, and i was like, "i'm fine.
i'm totally fine." >> oh, my. >> jimmy: i'm like, "chelsea's new book." and there's blood all over the place. [ laughter ] but she was a good sport and cool about it. but anyways, yeah, so are you. >> nice. >> jimmy: so now we know you're not the only person. me and you fell. >> yeah! >> jimmy: we're in the club. >> i'm in. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: meghan trainor, our pal! [ cheers and applause ] she's gonna perform "better" after the break! come on back! meghan trainor! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ if i want to go up... hello... if i want to go down... noooo... then if i want to come back again... it's perfect. yes! now that we've added adjustable base, my favorite part is to be able to lift your legs up a little bit, lift the head up a little bit, and it feels like i'm just cradled. i love the adjustable bed cause i love it when i'm watching tv. and there you have it. change your sleep, change your life... change to tempur-pedic. now thru september 11th, upgrade and save on select tempur-pedic mattresses and adjustable bases during our labor day event.
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♪ hey lmaybe let's play upl our the digital part.r job, but it's a manufacturing job. yeah, well ge is doing a lot of cool things digitally to help machines communicate, might want to at least mention that. i'm building world-changing machines. with my two hands. does that threaten you? no! don't be silly. i'm just, uh, going to go to chop some wood. with that? yeah we don't have an ax. or a fireplace. good to be prepared. could you cut the bread?
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing her new single "better" featuring yo gotti, once again, meghan trainor! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ finally blew up in my face crash and burnt to pieces you got what you want from me i gave you what you needed ♪ ♪ i was warned but fooled by charm and you deserve
to be alone ♪ ♪ and i deserve better better than you i deserve better better than you ♪ ♪ i deserve better tell 'em what they already know ♪ ♪ i deserve better go tell 'em what they already know ♪ ♪ i used to cry to all my friends but they would say i told ya ♪ ♪ finally i can breathe again the weight is off my shoulders ♪ ♪ i was warned but fooled by charm and you you deserve to be alone ♪ ♪ and i deserve better oh oh better than you you you i deserve i deserve better ♪ ♪ much better than you babe
i deserve i deserve better ♪ ♪ tell 'em what they already know i deserve i deserve ♪ ♪ tell 'em what they already know ♪ ♪ let's talk about the word "deserve" or talk 'bout what the world deserves a queen ♪ m let's talk about that four-letter word love i think you deserve a king ♪ ♪ i think you deserve the world and everything in it ♪ ♪ and i try to go get it to show you what i tell you i'm sorry tomorrow i promise that i ♪ ♪ try to do better i'll do whatever for mine and i ain't tryna be your friend's friends ♪ ♪ or your quote unquote fake friend that's why i hate friends ♪ ♪ i'd rather see you laugh than see you cry i'd rather see you leave than tell a lie ♪ ♪ for real >> shout out to my exes. ♪ i deserve better better than you you you you i deserve i deserve it better than you ♪ ♪ i deserve i deserve it i deserve i deserve it i deserve i deserve it ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kevin bacon, meghan trainor, yo gotti! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- michael moore. from "southside with you," actress tika sumpter. music from troye sivan. featuring the 8g band with allison miller. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well, isn't that great to hear. let's get to the news. organizers are reportedly struggling to find a moderator for the first presidential debate because of anticipated accusations of bias from donald trump.