tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC September 15, 2016 12:37am-1:38am PDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, joseph gordon-levitt, comedian lewis black. music from calum scott. featuring the 8g band with matt garstka. >> ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is late night. how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] >> seth: good. that's wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump will appear on "dr. oz" tomorrow, while his traditional doctor will appear on "law and order svu."
[ laughter ] i didn't know she took all of those pills. donald trump taped an episode of "the dr. oz show" today where he showed the audience a one page summary of a recent physical and here it is. [ laughter ] donald trump also reportedly told the audience he likes eating fast food because, quote, at least you know what they're putting in it. donald, 11 secret herbs and spices. their entire marketing campaign is literally based around how you don't know what's in it. they won't even tell you who the real colonel is. [ light laughter ] during the taping of "the dr. oz show" this afternoon, the results of donald trump's physical reportedly revealed trump is considered overweight, to which trump replied he'd like to lose 15 to 20 pounds which is crazy considering he already dropped like, 300 pounds in
july. [ applause ] >> seth: today was hillary clinton's third day off the campaign trail since 1953. [ laughter ] hillary clinton released updated health information today with doctors saying her physical exam was normal, and she is in excellent mental condition. unless, you know, there's balloons. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: that's why she wants to win. more balloons. a new poll shows that among jewish voters hillary clinton is leading donald trump by 42 points, but for you, 40 points. [ light laughter ] it's the best that i can do. i have a daughter in college. you're killing me. [ light laughter ]
hacked emails from former secretary of state colin powell show he recently referred to donald trump as a national disgrace and an international pariah. said trump, "listen i love pariah. i have all of her albums. so that's a compliment to me." [ applause ] libertarian presidential candidate gary johnson took out a full page ad in today's new york times asking to be included in the first debate, and green party candidate jill stein took a full page ad out of the new york times and folded it into a neat little hat. [ light laughter ] >> a high school student has developed an app that helps teens locate a welcoming group of kids in the lunchroom called "sit with us" or as bullies call it, "victim finder." [ laughter ] and finally a guacamole themed
restaurant is set to open in new york on friday and it already turned brown. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, finally, so excited, new yorks going to finally have a guacamole themed restaurant. from the new film, we have so many great guests tonight, from the new film "snowden", an absoulutely fantastic actor, great guy, joseph gordon-levitt is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he will be here talking about his upcoming stand up shows on broadway, one of my favorite comedians, lewis black is in the house tonight. and we have music from u.k. singer song writer calum scott tonight, so that will be great as well. [ cheers and applause ] but before we get to all of that, as you've probably heard, donald trump still refuses to release his tax returns. one reason he might be doing that is so we can't actually confirm how much money he has given to charity and now a new report suggests that the donations that come from trump's personal foundation are almost
entirely other people's money. for more on this it's time for a closer look. ♪ [ applause ] >> carson: in general, trump's aversion to paying people like contractors, and employees who did work for businesses, has hurt him. even now on the campaign trail, it causes him problems. for example, you may remember this dance troop of young girls called the usa freedom kids, who performed at a trump rally earlier this year. ♪ ♪ cowardice are you serious apologies for freedom i can't handle this president donald trump ♪ ♪ knows how to make america great deal from strength or get crushed every time ♪ ♪ >> that song sounds like it was translated from english to japanese and then back to english. [ laughter ] ♪ big man white house dolphin hat pineapple little mouse ♪ [ light laughter ]
well you'll never guess what happened next, donald trump stiffed the usa freedom kids. >> the usa freedom kids are calling on trump to pay them. their manager, father of one of the girls, says the trump campaign broke agreements with them, refusing to let them sell cds at a rally and then cancelling performance in iowa after they'd already travelled there. >> now the usa freedom kids, those little girls, they are suing donald trump. >> seth: trump is being sued by a group of children because he won't pay them. think of how sad that is. right now the usa freedom kids are at home trying to find words that rhyme with subpoena. [ laughter ] then again, in trumps defense, look what happens when he does give money to kids. [ laughter ] and this isn't just the usa freedom kids. trump also used to have a policy office in d.c. now most normal presidential candidates have policy offices where staffers work on ideas to fill out a candidates platform
but trump's policy office quickly fell apart once again, because he stiffed people. >> the washington post reports tonight that the trump campaign's policy staff has collapsed. one of the people who quit, told the washington post, quote, "it's a complete disaster. they use and abuse people, the policy office fell apart in august when the promised checks weren't delivered." campaign spokesman jason miller, acknowledged the washington policy office grew smaller in august but he called the effort a success. >> seth: oh yeah, i mean it definitely was a success. i mean, just look at the extremely in depth policy plan the trump team came up with to fix obamacare. >> repel and replace with something terrific. >> seth: something terrific? [ light laughter ] that's not a policy that's a frank sinatra b-side. did they at least come up with a detailed policy plan for fighting isis? >> i would bomb the [ bleep ] out of them. [ laughter ]
>> so obviously trump did not care that his policy office fell apart. in fact, trump has been so resistant to having actual policies, that by his own telling, it took repeated badgering from his daughter ivanka, to get him to unveil a new maternity leave policy yesterday. >> i'm going to roll out a plan to help our mothers and our families get affordable quality child care for their children, and my daughter ivanka is going to be involved. she is the one that's been pushing for it. so daddy, daddy, we have to do this. and it's true. >> seth: just to be clear i don't care about women, she does. okay? also she's a successful business woman and mother of three. you make her sound like veruca salt. daddy, i want paid maternity leave, and i want it now. [ laughter ] do it, daddy. do it. [ applause ] >> seth: so trump's unwillingness to pay people has resulted in lawsuits and a lack of policy. now that might give trump a
reputation as something of a miser, but at least there's all the money he has given to charity, right? he and his campaign have bragged about that so many times. >> anyone who knows about donald trump and his career knows that this is a man who's given away tens of millions of dollars to charitable causes. >> i know donald trump has donated over $100 million to charitable causes over the last number of years. >> number one, i am a nice person. i give a lot of money away, to charities and other things. >> seth: but without proof, in the form of tax returns, reporters had to check for themselves to find trump's personal donations. one reporter in particular, david fahrenthold of the washington post has been trying for months to track down trump's charitable giving, and he's come up almost completely empty. >> so far i've called 326 charities that seem to be closely tied to donald trump looking for evidence that they had gotten money from trump, and between 2008 and this may, i found just one donation out of trump's own pocket. that was in 2009 and it was for less than $10,000. >> seth: so his campaign claims $100 million, but reporters can
only find $10,000. that's like saying you have a private jet when you only have a private jetta. [ laughter ] so that's trump's personal giving, and then theres the donald j. trump foundation. >> the foundation has trump's name on it, so you'd think it consist, at least in part, of trump's own money. but not only has trump not given to his own foundation in years, the foundation has actually charged charities for using trump facilities. >> donald trump hasn't given any of his own money to the foundation that bares his name. since his last donation in 2008. in many cases, if not all the recent ones. he takes the money that's been donated to his own foundation, puts his name on it, and gives it to other people. for two years the trump foundation gave liberally to the palm beach police foundation. and the group hold it's policeman's ball at trump's mar-a-lago resort every winter. but get this wolf, trump's mar-a-lago actually charged the police foundation for using the ballroom. not a small amount either. the foundation's tax records show it paid trump more than
$500,000 over the course of two years for two of the balls it held there. >> seth: when has anybody ever been paid half a million dollars just for holding two balls. [ laughter ] oh, come on. guys, no. [ cheers and applause ] and on top of that trump also apparently used some of the money in his foundation to buy things for himself, including in one instance, according to the washington post, trump spent $20,000 of money earmarked for charitable purposes to buy a six foot tall painting of himself. now so far, no ones been able to find that painting but that's not the craziest part of the story. the craziest part is that trump already had another giant painting of himself. who needs two giant paintings of themselves. when i check into a hotel i feel bad asking for two key cards. the painting even caught the attention of president obama, who mentioned it while
campaigning for hillary clinton on tuesday. >> one candidate's family foundation has saved countless lives around the world. the other candidate's foundation, took money other people gave to his charity, and then bought a six foot tall painting of himself. [ crowd jeers ] i mean, he had the taste not to go for the ten foot version, but. >> seth: man am i going to miss stand up comedy obama. [ laughter ] it's only a matter of time before he starts doing campaign events in front of a brick wall. y'all see this uh, trump painting? you know the eyes follow you where ever you go. unless you go into a black neighborhood. what else. [ light laughter ]
you know, i think trump has a reverse picture of dorian gray situation going on. trump looks like [ bleep ] but the painting stays young forever. [ laughter ] what else. anybody here got a wife? make ya eat healthy? and that wasn't the only -- [ applause ] bizarre purchase trump made with his foundation's money. because according to the washington post, trump used money donated for charity to buy himself a tim tebow signed football helmet. and for everybody who thinks trumps going to turn the economy around because he's a brilliant business man, he spent money on a helmet signed by tim tebow who is currently playing a different sport. i also own a framed michael jordan jersey. [ light laughter ] so to recap, trump won't give money to children that perform at his rallies, or staffers who work on his policy proposals, but he will use other people's money to buy signed football helmets and a giant painting of himself, and he still could be
the next president. as the usa freedom kids put it. ♪ i can't handle this this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with joseph gordon-levitt. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is the story of how mr. bonejangles met his match. mr. bonejangles was always looking for something. but he never found it. until one day... seven in dog time... exactly what he didn't know he was looking for fell right in his lap. was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price? no, of course not, he's a dog. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. marshalls. your surprise is waiting. brewmaster. risktaker.. i sold everything i had to own a brewery.
you might have heard its name... stella artois be legacy so you have 20 more bags. my yoga instructor calls it the death spiral. i call it living the dream. with the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express.
it's more than cash back. i have to tell you something. dad, one second i was driving and then the next... they just didn't stop and then... i'm really sorry. i wrecked the subaru. i wrecked it. you're ok. that's all that matters. (vo) a lifetime commitment to getting them home safely. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. intrthe only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. it's a crisp, refreshing twist on lemon lime. insist on the twist. that lets you write con the screenen
>> seth: welcome back everybody, and please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] we've been lucky to have one of the best progressive rock drummers out there sitting with the 8g band this week. from animals as leaders matt garstka everybody. right over there. [ cheers and applause ] animals as leaders has a new album "the madness of many" coming out november 11th. so be sure to check that out. thank you so much for being here matt. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest tonight is a talented actor. who you know from movies like "inception" and "the dark knight rises." starting friday you can see him as edward snowden in the new oliver stone film "snowden" let's take a look. >> most people already catalogue their lives with public consumption. >> well they catalogue part of their lives and they do it by choice. we're not giving them the choice. we're just taking everything. >> most americans don't want freedom. they want security. it's a simple bargain. good girl, good girl. >> if you want to play with all the new toys and be safe, you pay the price of admission.
>> except people, they don't even know they've made that bargain. >> please welcome to the show joseph gordon-levitt. [ applause ] ♪ >> how are you? >> i'm well, thanks man. >> seth: congrats on the film. it's fantastic. >> thank you. >> seth: and now when i see edward snowden and you really nailed it. was that a hard process to figure out how to be edward snowden? >> thanks man, you know it actually gives you a lot to go on when you have someone real who's been in videos and interviews that everyone has seen all over the world and it's also an extra, kind of, set of responsibility because people can say well, yes, that's right or that's wrong. >> seth: sure. >> when you're making up a fictitious character they can't do that. >> seth: and you actually did go to moscow to meet him once. yes? >> yeah. >> seth: were you worried about going to moscow? >> i was.
to be honest. yeah, it's the first time i had ever done research for a role. you don't consider acting like a dangerous job, really. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean i've done some fight scenes and been on wires and whatnot. >> seth: "man on a wire." so you didn't actually do that? >> i did. i mean i did but it's pretty safe when you're doing it in a movie. you're not really risking your life at all. i mean i had to have a conversation with my wife where she was like, okay, you have to tell me this is completely safe that you're going to russia right now. and i'm like, jesus, what am i doing, like? >> seth: yeah. >> but the thing is that, you know, oliver stone the filmmaker and his co-writer kieran fitzgerald they went to russia nine times to meet mr. snowden about the script. so they brought me on the fourth or fifth trip. >> seth: so they had done a few test runs. >> yeah. >> seth: and when you first sat down with him. what was the first thing -- did he have any questions for you? >> yeah, you know. the first thing he asked me, he was like maybe you can settle a dispute between me and lindsay. i met with him and his long time girlfriend lindsay mills played
in the movie shailene woodley. >> seth: shailene, who's great. >> thank you. i just said thank you on behalf of shailene. [ light laughter ] i'll tell her that you thought she was great. >> seth: but when she says, you're welcome, that's for me. >> i'll let her know, i mean i'll let you know what she says. but yeah ed was like you can settle a dispute between me and lindsay. is it hit record or hit record which, you know, is this company i started it's like this play on words. i was like you know about hit record? hit record, it's both actually, man and thank you. >> seth: when you say it to edward snowden you know about that? do he say, i know everything, dude. [ light laughter ] >> exactly. >> seth: that's kind of my jam. is knowing everything. >> yeah. >> seth: do you get the sense that he was wary even with the pedigree of people like oliver stone and yourself. is he wary of the fact that this film was being made about his life. >> yeah, i mean wouldn't you be sort of embarrassed if someone was making a movie out 9 years of your life including like, your love life. >> seth: i have no 9 year period that i'm cool with. >> yeah, no.
[ laughter ] me neither. >> seth: i once stung together two days that i'd be all right with but that was about the limit, yeah. >> but i mean the thing about him -- the truth is i think, you know, this is a guy that is risked his life to do what he did whether you agree with what he did or not, i mean the fact is that he risked his life and i think he cares less about his own personal comfort than he does about the fact that, you know, the american people know about this mass surveillance that's happening so, i think he can put up with the embarrassment of having a movie made about his love life. >> seth: and the movie does a very good job, even with everything i read about it and news reports i've seen about it, does a good job of laying out exactly how much the privacy was put at risk and how much we gave up. you know, i feel like people either think he's a hero or the worst villain on earth. do you feel there's a lack in your research, a lack of nuanced opinion about him? >> yeah, i mean that's the first thing i noticed. and i'm guilty of it. when oliver stone first offered me the job of edward snowden i
was like, okay, wait, edward snowden i know i've heard that name before but like, which one was he and what did he do exactly? and i realized i didn't know. you get so much news -- >> seth: sure. >> you scroll through your feed, and you look at a million things for five seconds, and i think it's sort of indicative of how we are these days and it felt good to have a reason to like, dive into one subject for a longer period of time. because both sides, people who like him and people who don't like him are really overly simplistic. they try to narrow him down to like 140 character tweet. >> seth: you were spending time with him and i know then not just met him but video chatted with him a bunch, do you have a sense now more as to why he did it and more importantly why he didn't two through official channels? why he did it the way he did it. >> right, that was one of my first questions. you know, it's like the cliché is what's my motivation? you know, as an actor. but it's actually true. you have to know why your character did what he's doing and that's the question. why didn't he just complain within official channels.
so i heard this story. i read about this story. there was a congressional hearing that happened a few months before snowden did what he did, and this guy named james clapper who's the director of national intelligence. this is the guy who oversees the nsa and cia and other intelligence agencies. he answers to the president, really powerful guy, he goes before congress he swears to tell the truth and he was asked by a senator is the nsa collecting millions of records of american citizens and he said no. which was just an outright lie. so, you have to ask yourself if edward snowden's boss's, boss's, boss's, boss's, boss just lied under oath to a senator about these mass surveillance programs. what's it going to really accomplish for edward snowden to say to his boss, like, hey i'm note sure if this is right. i think it violates our -- it's not going to do anything. >> seth: it made sense that he didn't go to hr and say i'm having real problem, you know? [ light laughter ] i read that when john cusack
went to russia to meet him he brought him cool ranch doritos because they don't have those in russia, which i can't believe. >> shocking. >> seth: what kind of society is that? >> without cool ranch doritos. >> seth: did you find in your time with him did you see it sense anything else he maybe missed from the states? >> no, i mean and john cusak is a more thoughtful person than i am. >> seth: so you didn't bring him anything? >> i didn't bring him any doritos. i remember we had lunch together when we were talking and he ordered a cheeseburger which is, you know, the most american thing you can order but they didn't quite bring fries, you know? they had like some kind of russian salad, and russian salad is not what we think of as salad. it doesn't involve vegetables so much as like mayonnaise. [ laughter ] pretty much anything that they can shop up and put in a bowl with lots of mayonnaise, that's salad. salad, in russia. >> seth: your russian got really good. >> wasn't that good? [ laughter ] i worked on that. >> seth: how long were you there? that's amazing.
>> my russian friends are going to be so pissed. >> seth: you met snowden's parents last night at the premiere, yeah? >> that was actually really sweet. i had never met them before. >> seth: are they happy that this story is being told? >> they were really, really generous with me. they came up to me and they were like, first you captured our son. you really seem like him and thank you for playing him and we know that, you know, this could attract criticism, he's a polarizing figure and we just want to thank you and that really meant a lot to me. it's not often that -- i act in movies. it's not often that you hear from someone's mom or dad who misses their son telling you that what you did was meaningful to them and i don't know, i felt really grateful to have that moment. >> seth: well that's fantastic. you deserve it. it's a great performance. thanks so much for being here. always great to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, man. >> seth: joseph gordon-levitt everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "snowden" opens in theaters this friday. we'll be right back with lewis black. ♪ [ applause ] should masterpass that, now.
that was fast. because i masterpass. your current gel antiperspirant wet ais.sticky now, we're going to show you how degree dry spray is different. degree dry spray. degree. it won't let you down. can i get anyone a beer? make it a redd's apple ale! redd's apple ale. also for a limited time in ginger apple. anything meant to stand a body without proper foot needssupport can mean pain.
the dr. scholl's kiosk maps your feet and recommends our custom fit orthotic to stabilize your foundation and relieve foot, knee, or lower-back pain from being on your feet. dr. scholl's. nversus a lube strip. a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schick hydro®. free your skin®. denny's introduced new and now we're introducing free pancakes for kids. who's crazy idea was this? well, we're pretty sure we know who. for a limited time, kids get our new pancakes in any of these flavors, free.
>> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a best selling author and grammy winning comedian. you can currently see him on broadway in "lewis black:black to the future." he is performing monday nights through october 24th at the marquis theater. please welcome back to the show our friend lewis black. ♪ ♪ [ applause ] >> seth: so here you are. lewis black. doing a broadway show. you're doing a show on broadway right now. >> that's right. >> seth: and you started, i did not realize this. you started as a playwright before stand up comedy. >> yeah. because i wanted to know what poverty is really all about. >> seth: got you. >> and so i began as a playwright. i wrote plays until i was 40. >> seth: wow. and did they -- when did you know i don't want to do this anymore, i want to do stand up comedy? >> the turning point came when i
finally had a play that was being produced at the alley theater in houston which is kind of like aaa ball -- >> seth: okay. >> for writers. >> seth: so you're close. >> you know, the next thing is off broadway, broadway. so i'm getting there. that's like, what i really, you know that was -- i was hoping and we got there and the show was going on and it was a musical, that i had written with my friend rusty magee and it's opening night and the two critics were sitting across from us. behind the two critics is a woman that we invited her and her husband. she's been our bartender for like 35 nights. >> seth: okay. >> rewriting the play. they have this place is called icehouse down there. it's like a dollar for a beer. you could leave them a bottle of scotch and then pay them a quarter for ice, it was heaven. [ light laughter ] and we invited her to come see the show. >> seth: that was very nice of you. >> yeah, and it was a mistake.
>> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] >> she is sitting behind them and the folks in the cast all knew her. they started to notice that she didn't look well. the first act was ending, when it ended some of the actors said "you can go you don't have to come -- you can come back again and see the second act. that'll be good, you'll see it then. please feel free." and she's "oh no, no, i'm going to be fine." so second act starts. she is sitting right behind the two drama critics. it's 8 minutes into the second act. the thing is going well for the first time because the second act was a piece of crap. [ laughter ] so now the actors are fooling everybody. it looks like it's going to be some what of a success. we're going to sneak by. all of a sudden she starts to throw up, and it's not like a fun throw up. it's not a quiet throw up. it's that -- the kind that everybody in the audience goes "uh, uh, uh, uh." and that's -- and i turned to my
friend rusty and i said, and that's the end of our career. [ light laughter ] >> seth: then you went into stand up. and you're at -- you're doing your show on monday nights at the same theater that has the gloria estefan musical. >> yeah. >> seth: was that a choice? did you want to be there? >> my first choice was to do it on the set of "cats." i thought that would be perfect. >> seth: so they'd walk in they'd see you do stand up but just on the "cats" set. >> yeah, exactly and i could scratch things and stuff. i could use the litter box. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you talk a lot about the election in the show. some people have said "oh, donald trump, that must make your job as a comedian so much easier." do you feel that's truth to that or do you think it's false? >> i think it's false. i think that it's made -- i mean like you know, you're sitting here. >> seth: yeah. >> and you know i was watching the first part and you sit there and you put on -- the news is -- the news is funny. >> seth: yeah. >> you don't have to -- all you have to do is go, "ta-da!" [ applause ]
at least they'll root for -- how do you make funny something that's already funny? how do you make it funnier? >> seth: yeah, he is genuinely funny. he's genuinely funny. >> yeah, i know it's hysterical. >> seth: yeah. you have known trump for a long time. you've known about trump and one thing you have a strong opinion about are trump's buildings. >> when my father came to new york, awhile back, when trump tower initially opened, which was years ago, he wanted to go see it. and i said "okay" and i took him there and we walked around and he looked and he looked and he turned to me after we had seen it and he said, "this is, i think, what rome looked like just before the fall." [ laughter ] >> seth: can you watch cable news? is that how you sort of keep yourself informed? is that -- >> it's how i wake up.
i turn it on and then i lose my mind. [ light laughter ] you sit there, they've got to be stopped. four analysts for anything that happens, "what does deplorable mean?" it means deplorable, jackass! you know? [ cheers and applause ] those debates, the debates haven't even happened yet and they're going to end and there's going to be eight or 12 of these idiots, sitting around telling us, like we didn't see it, what we just heard. i know what i heard! these are ears, schmuck! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i feel -- i know this has happened in the past but i feel like this year more than ever you keep seeing on these panels of those four of the eight or the 12. there's always a few people who are campaign surrogates. >> yeah. >> seth: they are there to
represent the campaign. >> yeah, isn't that unbelievable. >> seth: yeah. >> you know that the analysts aren't enough. you have got to have somebody defend the person who is not there. and the idea, the only time i've ever heard the word surrogate used is sexual surrogate. >> seth: sure. >> so whenever i see a trump surrogate or a hillary surrogate, i feel like they have sent them on instead of donald and hillary screwing us, they have sent these surrogates on to screw us. >> seth: so it's sexual for you. >> it's still very sexual. it's the only way i can get through it. >> seth: do you have a message for trump supporters? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] and i'm saying this as a friend, if you vote for donald trump, you're gonna go to hell. [ laughter ] and i know this. >> seth: you know this.
>> i know this because, god told me. [ laughter ] and he calls me. he has my hotline. >> seth: okay. >> and every time he talks to mike huckabee he calls me up in order to calm down. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so wait, god talks to huckabee first. and then he gets all -- >> he gets all wound up. he's got all of that, kind of, nonsense going on and god doesn't have time for that. >> seth: this is fantastic that you're doing these shows in new york. thank you so much for making time for us as well. >> oh it's my pleasure, always. >> seth: always great to see you. >> good to see you. >> seth: lewis black everybody. [ cheers and applause ] he is performing "black to the future" mondays through october 24th at the marquis theater on broadway. we'll be right back with more late night. ♪ ha-ha-ha! um-hmmm! hey! nikki! what are you doing here? you tell me, stephen. what? i'm snapping.
you've been streaming my videos all morning. now you're with this thing? no! it's not you! it's verizon! they limit my data. i had to choose. come on, girl. let's get us a man with unlimited data. why pay verizon more for data limits? introducing t-mobile one. one price. unlimited data for everyone. choose from a mouthwateringe new varietyred grill menu. seared to juicy perfection over split american oak... like savory wood-fire grilled chicken with two sides for just $9.99. the new wood fired grill. only at applebee's at i love most about tempur-pedic mattresses... is that they contour to your body. it keeps us comfortable and asleep at night. change your sleep, change your life...
change to tempur-pedic. to sleep happy guaranteed, and zero percent apr financing, visit mattress firm. people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. gentle, non-habit forming advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. follow your own sense of style... because, you want to be confident. t.j.maxx really helped us express our creative side. that's the best part. you don't know what you're going to find. i always find great deals on shoes... purses... we're a team. yeah. maxx life at t.j.maxx.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. we mentioned our guest drummer. i just want to take a quick second and welcome someone else to the show sitting in all week with the 8g band is norwegian black medal guitarist gorbon hausinfrud [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for sitting in, gorbon. >> praise you for having me in your kingdom lord meyers. >> seth: well, it's not a kingdom, gorbon. it's just a talk show and you can just call me seth. [ light laughter ] well, thank you for sitting in. so anyways i wanted to take time here to talk about some of the very exciting guests we have coming on next week.
>> seth. >> seth: gorbon? >> can you hear me seth. >> seth: yes? >> seth. >> seth: are you speaking to me telepathically? >> yes. >> that's impossible how can you do that? >> an ancient tribe of norse witches performed paganistic rituals where my soul transcended my earthly body and entered valhalla, where odin himself taught me how to free myself from the shackles of speech and gave me the power of mind to mind communication. >> seth: that's amazing. >> seth. [ light laughter ] i have a question for you and it's very important. >> what is it gorbon? >> seth. >> seth: yes? >> how do you stay so trim. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what? >> you look so svelte. how do you manage your weight? >> seth: i don't know. i guess i just watch what i eat and exercise. >> that makes sense ever since we had the twins i'm always yo-yoing up and down with my weight. i have ten pounds that i'm always losing or gaining.
i think i have a slow metabolism. >> seth: uh-huh. >> i scheduled an appointment with the trainer. i don't know. we'll see. >> seth: yeah, yeah, trainer. [ laughter ] >> i feel like when i workout i get more hungry because i'm burning more calories so then i eat more. and i'm like, hey, i just had an hour on the elliptical, i can totally have a frosty. i earned it. why not treat myself? and then the frosty totally cancels out the hard work i did on the eliptical. talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry gorbon, did you telepathically connect with me just to talk about working out? >> no, seth, i have more to speak to you about. i have a dire warning for you seth. >> seth: a warning? what is it? >> seth. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what? >> enjoy your son while he still is a little baby. >> seth: uh huh. >> they really do grow up so fast, seth. i think that it is harder for me because i am the twin's primary caregiver. >> seth: hold on, gorbon, you're a stay at home dad?
>> yes, rachel is the breadwinner. she works in the city doing corporate real estate law, and i stay at home with the boys. feels just like yesterday i was changing little david and elijah out of the diapers, and today i dropped them off at montclair jewish day school for first grade, seth. >> seth: gorbon, you're jewish? >> yes, i converted for rachel. do you want to see a photo of the kids? >> yeah, sure. >> great, let's just see, hold on. just going to find a photo of them. [ light laughter ] >> seth: did you find one? >> not a good one. >> seth: maybe just show me after the show? >> dammit. >> seth: what. >> nothing, i got an e-mail from j. crew i thought i unsubscribed. >> you know what gorbon, we got to wrap this up. >> no seth, wait, i have a very important message for you that you must heed. >> seth: okay. what? >> seth. >> seth: yeah?
>> start looking for preschools now. >> seth: all right, you know what? get out of my head man. i've had more than enough of you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth, seth. seth. who are you talking to. >> seth: who was i talking to? gorbon. wha -- he was just there. >> gorbon? oh, he had an appointment with his trainer. >> come on, girl, get it. >> oh, my ass. >> get it. >> seth: we'll be right back with music from calum scott. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ my brother and i have always been rivals. we would dream about racing each other, in monaco. ♪
we were born brothers. competition made us friends. wish bold in the 2017 camry. toyota. let's go places. ♪show me what you got ♪show me what you got ♪show me what you got introducing the only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. new mist twst. ♪let's twist! insist on the twist. ♪let's twist!
mmi'm talking to you,me! creamy white cheddar mac & cheese with bacon. can you feel it? you like that don't you? you taste so creamy. the little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. you naughty little... did you just spank your lunch? yes. nice. food you want to fork. introducing devour. your current gel antiperspirant wet ais.sticky now, we're going to show you how degree dry spray is different. degree dry spray. degree. it won't let you down. how are you doing today? that's how i am. with the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. my only concern is that this is where we put food. a dog's foot is cleaner than a human's mouth. is it? cleaner than my mouth. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express.
one in six countries, with accompanying music videos surpassing 125 million views. making his u.s. television debut, please welcome to the show, calum scott. [ applause ] ♪ somebody said you got a new friend does she love you better than i can ♪ ♪ there's a big black sky over my town i know where you're at i bet she's around ♪ ♪ and yeah i know it's stupid ♪
♪ but i just gotta see it for myself ♪ ♪ i'm in the corner watching you kiss her oh oh oh ♪ ♪ i'm right over here why can't you see me oh oh oh ♪ ♪ and i'm giving it my all but i'm not the guy you're taking home ooh ♪ ♪ i keep dancing on my own i just wanna dance all night and i'm all messed up i'm so out of line yeah ♪ ♪ stilettos and broken bottles ♪ ♪ i'm spinning around
in circles ♪ ♪ and i'm in the corner watching you kiss her oh ♪ ♪ i'm right over here why can't you see me oh ♪ ♪ and i'm giving it my all but i'm not the guy you're taking home ooh ♪ ♪ and i keep dancing on my own ♪ ♪ and oh no ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ so far away but still so near the lights come up the music dies ♪ ♪ but you don't see
me standing here i just came to say goodbye ♪ ♪ i'm in the corner watching you kiss her oh oh oh ♪ ♪ and i'm giving it my all but i'm not the guy you're taking home ooh ♪ ♪ and i keep dancing on my own ♪ ♪ and oh no ♪ and i'm in the corner watching you kiss her oh no ♪ ♪ and i'm right over here why can't you see me oh no ♪ ♪ and i'm giving it my all but i'm not the guy you're taking home ooh ♪ ♪ and i keep dancing on my own ♪
♪ so far away but still so near the lights come up the music dies ♪ ♪ but you don't see me standing here ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: calum scott everybody! download "dancing on my own" and go to calumscott.com for dates. his first headlining north america tour this fall we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]