tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 13, 2017 12:37am-1:38am PDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- gerard butler. comedian and actor patton oswalt. featuring the 8g band with joe russo. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. following the aftermath of hurricane maria, president trump tweeted this morning that the white house cannot keep fema, the military, and first responders in puerto rico forever.
forever? it's been three weeks! [ light laughter ]!5 that's like saying you worked with scaramucci forever. [ laughter ] what's your hurry? we still have troops in germany! what are they doing, checking hitler's pulse? look, we can afford to keep troops in puerto rico until long after you've left the white house. maybe even until christmas. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] white house chief of staff john kelly gave the daily press briefing today, and said his job is not to control president trump -- it's to find president trump. [ light laughter ] "donald, where are you? time to run the country, big guy. donald?" [ applause ] during the press briefing today, john kelly said that president trump's tweets don't make his job more difficult. really? because they're making mine impossible. [ laughter ]
do you have any idea what i would give to be making a hillary clinton pantsuit joke right now? [ cheers and applause ] "oh, are you the president or in the galactic senate? oh, come back!" [ light laughter ] "golf" magazine is calling senator lindsey graham's claim that president trump shot a 73 during a recent game together patently unbelievable. [ light laughter ] "golf" magazine is calling the president a liar. [ laughter ] so that's it -- that's all the magazines. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today is spanish language day, and i took spanish -- [ cheers ] yeah. i took spanish in high school. so i'd just like to say, [ speaking in spanish ] [ laughter ] it comes from the heart. [ cheers and applause ] a "los angeles times" report indicates that president trump will often call sean hannity after his fox news show airs. we here at "late night" actually
received a transcript of the end of their most recent call. see for yourself. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, arabic is now the most common language among new immigrants to the u.s. the second most common is whispering. "what the hell is going on here?" [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a woman in wisconsin reportedly traded a single packet of mcdonald's limited edition szechuan sauce for a car, so now she's the proud owner of a definitely stolen car. ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] from the new film, "geostorm," gerard butler is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] he's got a new standup special on netflix. he's one of my favorite comedians. "annihilation" is the special. patton oswalt is the comedian. [ cheers and applause ] before we move on, a couple
weeks ago i was talking about football, how much i love football, how i want my son to like football. my son and i are both in a football pool this year. he's only 18 months old. [ light laughter ] so it's a three-strike pool. you pick one team a week, if your team loses, that's strike one, so on and so forth. so i've been picking -- the way i've been picking is i've been using a lifetime of being a football fan. i've been using analysis, i read about games, i keep up on players. the way my son ash has been picking his teams is i put plastic football helmets in a bag and he just takes one out. we are five weeks into the season. i am out of the pool. [ light laughter ] ash only has one strike. so this is heartbreaking. heartbreaking to me. [ applause ] so wednesday mornings we make our picks, i put the helmets in the bag, very exciting for me. we film it every week. and this week -- he usually only takes out -- he doesn't take out one at a time. he'll take out multiple ones and then he has to hand me one.
and it was very dramatic this week because he -- it was down to -- the two he took out were the patriots and the chiefs. the chiefs are playing the steelers, who i love. and so i desperately wanted him, when i saw those two, to give me the patriots, not the chiefs. very dramatic. take a look. >> hey, ash. will you pick one? will you give me a ball? just one. just one. [ gasp ] the patriots. thank you for not giving me the chiefs versus the steelers. [ light laughter ] good job. [ audience aws ] >> seth: he's getting there. he's making progress. [ applause ] but if you love money, take the patriots. he's very good. he's very good at gambling. moving on. this week, we've seen examples of powerful men at the highest levels of entertainment and politics, from harvey weinstein to donald trump, abusing their
power to silence, bully or coerce. and it's a reminder that our toxic culture of male entitlement is still very much intact. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: of course, we have a president who built his political career almost entirely on bullying. his campaign and now his presidency have been, in many ways, a performance of dominance, a performance that has in many cases been explicitly misogynist. we saw that just recently when he viciously attacked the mayor of san juan, carmen yulin cruz, for having the audacity to criticize him and speak up for her constituents. >> we have a mayor of san juan, puerto rico, who didn't attend meetings, who didn't work with fema, who really did not do a very good job. in fact, did a very poor job. but she's not a capable person. >> seth: i'm sorry. she's not a capable person? what did you do after the hurricane? you took a week to even send fema, you reminded them about their debts, and then you showed up two weeks after that and chucked paper towels like a
teenager in the break room at costco. [ light laughter ] this is what male entitlement looks like -- a woman of color literally wading through floodwaters to help her constituents being attacked by a powerful man so incompetent, he probably floods his own bathroom because he forgets to turn the faucet off. [ laughter ] "melania! it happened again! [ applause ] i made a hurricane." [ laughter ] trump is so unqualified for his job, that in the last week, a republican senator has described the white house as adult daycare, and people close to the president have called him unstable and unraveling. one adviser said aides were relieved when trump declined to appear on "60 minutes" last month because he's lost a step. he's lost a step? [ light laughter ] he didn't have that many steps to begin with. if he had a fitbit, it would die of boredom. [ laughter ] he literally started his presidential campaign by refusing to take any steps. [ laughter and applause ]
his main form of transportation is cart. trump is apparently so clueless that when one of his closest associates warned him that he was in danger of being removed from office, trump had no idea what he was talking about. several months ago, former chief strategist steve bannon told trump that the risk to his presidency wasn't impeachment, but the 25th amendment, the provision by which a majority of the cabinet can vote to remove the president. when bannon mentioned the 25th amendment, trump said, "what's that?" [ audience ohs ] in fairness, most of us probably didn't know the 25th amendment until recently. but we weren't applying for the job! [ light laughter ] i can't make a macchiato either, but if i was applying to starbucks, i would definitely google it. [ laughter ] these are trying times for the president. trump has apparently been so depressed and angry at the state of his administration, and what he sees as disloyalty from his staff that he reportedly told a close associate, "i hate everyone in the white house. there are a few exceptions, but i hate them." [ laughter ] his staff talked about him like he's a toddler, but trump is really a moody teenager whose
parents won't let him go to kevin's lake house for the weekend. "i hate everyone in this house! [ laughter ] i'm turning the faucets on!" seriously! [ laughter and applause ] based on that, we're like a week away from goth trump. [ laughter ] and when trump isn't trying to excuse his own failures by lashing out as his own staff, he's lashing out as reporters, as he did yesterday when he said it was "disgusting that the press is allowed to write whatever they want to write," and threatened to revoke the licenses of news outlets he doesn't like. he tweeted, "network news has become so partisan, distorted, and fake, that licenses must be challenged and if appropriate, revoked. not fair to public." wow. he wants to revoke the broadcast licenses of networks he doesn't like. that's really going to shrink down the channel guide. [ laughter and applause ]
"how do i get it on one?" of course, it should not surprise us that donald trump is now trying to silence and bully journalists. it's worth remembering that almost a year ago exactly, trump tried to silence and bully the 12 women who accused him of sexual harassment by viciously attacking them and even threatening to sue them. >> when you looked at that horrible woman last night, you said, "i don't think so! i don't think so." whoever she is, wherever she comes from, the stories are total fiction. every woman lied when they came forward to hurt my campaign. total fabrication. all of these liars will be sued after the election is over. >> seth: and as we know, donald trump keeps all his promises, so those women were sued and found guilty at a trial held right next to the finished mexican border wall on the same day that obamacare was repealed. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump is perhaps the most
famous example of this kind of abusive male power, but he is by no means the only one, as we learned yet again this week when arguably the most powerful man in hollywood, harvey weinstein, was accused by at least 25 women of sexual harassment, and in three cases, rape. i guess it's no surprise that weinstein is apparently just as defiant as donal trump, and reportedly already plotting his comeback. >> we spoke to harvey last night. we have spoken to him a lot, actually. he's been calling the newsroom, panicking. and his mood tends to change. you know, it started out being extremely cavalier about all of these allegations, never fully admitting to what people are claiming that he's done. but we spoke to him last night, and he was defiant. said that he was going to fight these accusations and he also even said that he was planning a comeback, like he expects to continue working, and to come back next year. >> seth: next year? you think he can come back in a year? if weinstein had himself cryogenically frozen and woke up a thousand years from now, the headline would still be, "too soon, creep."
[ laughter ] but i suppose it's not surprising that weinstein would defiantly plot his comeback just days after being accused of sexual assault, given the perverse ways he and his team tried to rationalize his behavior. weinstein himself of course first insisted, "i came of age in the '60s and '70s when all the rules about behavior in workplaces were different. that was the culture then." and one of his lawyers described weinstein as an old dinosaur learning new ways. dinosaurs don't learn new ways. they go extinct! they didn't survive because they learned to type. [ cheers and applause ] if you're a dinosaur, then this is your ice age, buddy. and unlike real dinosaurs, no one is ever going to try and bring back harvey weinstein. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this entire ordeal is yet another window into the entitled mind of powerful, predatory men who are used to operating without consequence. weinstein thought he could escape the fallout of the
allegations against him, as he did for so many years, even though those accusations were horrifying. >> at least 25 women, including some of hollywood's most prominent actresses, have now come forward, accusing weinstein of acts ranging from harassment to rape. gwyneth paltrow telling the "new york times" that when she was 22, a meeting with weinstein, quote, "ended with him placing his hands on her and suggesting they head to the bedroom for massages." ashley judd alleges that two decades ago, weinstein had her sent up to his hotel room and then greeted her in a bath robe, asking if he could give her a massage or she could watch him shower. >> seth: the only reason anyone should ever watch harvey weinstein shower is to confirm that it actually happened. [ light laughter ] he always looks like he just got rescued from a desert island. there is no doubt this horrifying story reveals yet again a culture of systemic misogyny that exists at the highest levels of society. in the last year and a half, the most powerful man in news, the most powerful man in politics, and the most powerful man in hollywood have been accused of serial sexual predation. this should not be a partisan
issue. it requires all of us to speak out and ask ourselves what we can do to address it. so naturally, some republicans and right-wing pundits rushed in to exploit the scandal for political gain. >> white house counselor kellyanne conway slammed hillary clinton's response on twitter with this. "it took hillary about five minutes to blame the nra for a mad man's rampage but five days to sorta kinda blame harvey weinstein for his sexual assault." >> seth: oh, my god, you work for donald trump, remember? you know, big dumb guy, about yay high, bragged about sexual assault on a bus, loves to throw paper towels at hurricane victims? [ light laughter ] and not only has the right jumped in to exploit the scandal, but the weinstein bombshells have also spawned some of the most perverse takes on what to do about serial sexual harassment. like former trump white house adviser, sebastian gorka who cited vice president mike pence's personal prohibition against eating alone with any woman who is not his wife. gorka tweeted, "think, if it weinstein had obeyed vp pence's rules for meeting with the opposite sex, none of those poor women would ever have been abused." i can't believe i have to say
this, but you should be able to be alone with a woman and not sexually assault her. [ cheers and applause ] in fact, if the only thing -- if the only thing holding you back is that there are other people in the room, that's a problem. that's like saying, "think, if hannibal lecter had kept kosher, those poor people would never have been eaten." [ laughter ] look, there are predators of all political persuasions and in both parties. this should not be partisan issue, and moreover, women should not be held accountable for the predatory behavior of men. this is a problem -- [ cheers and applause ] -- with systemic misogyny and male entitlement. and men need to speak up and address their complicity in the system that allows these things to happen. you want to argue that harvey weinstein is just as bad as donald trump, fine. harvey weinstein was, after far too long, found out and fired. donald trump has been found out for a year and we're still waiting. what's the hold up? not only has he been accused of sexual assault, he's also -- >> not a capable person. >> seth: this has been "a closer look."
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[ cheers and applause ] we have had a fantastic drummer sitting with us this week who has played with icons like phil lesh and bob weir, as well as one of my personal favorites, craig finn. be sure to check out an in-depth article on his band joe russo's almost dead on the cover of "relix" magazine. joe russo, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, seth. >> seth: thank you for a great week. really wonderful having you here. you know our first guest tonight from films like "300" and "olympus has fallen." he stars in "geostorm" which is in theaters and imax october 20th. let's take a look. >> let's take this thing apart and find out what happened in hong kong. >> bring it down. >> should have come down by now. >> what is that? >> i have no idea. >> all right, shut it down! >> it's not responding! >> jesus, hernandez. >> careful! >> get down! >> whoa! >> okay, get out of here! go! >> go, go, go! >> hernandez, go! >> let's go! >> somebody, open this door now!
>> watch out! >> seth: please welcome back to the show, gerard butler, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good. i'm good. >> seth: good. i -- so i can't tell you how happy i am with your beard. [ laughter ] because it looks just exactly the way i want your beard to look. >> yeah, it looks just exactly the way that i like it to look. >> seth: yeah. it's just like robust. >> yeah. exactly. >> seth: so this film -- we saw a satellite in that trailer. >> yes. >> seth: or in the clip. this is about a weather satellite that you created as a scientist that then sort of goes haywire. >> yeah. it's basically -- the film is set in the very near future. but it seems to be in the very, very near future, you know and --
>> seth: no, almost present. >> when -- >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, pretty much present when global warming has caused this -- basically all the governments of the planet to unite and build this -- this kind of complicated system of satellites that can individually control the environment. and my character's the guy who built that. but now there's an issue with it. you know, we think, oh the world's been saved, you know, this existential crisis is going to be cool. but, no, because we find a malfunction and you realize what happens if this thing is weaponized or gets out of control. >> seth: well then -- i will say not that i'm happy to hear that for the fictional role where that that happens, but if you've got gerard butler in your movie, you need something to go wrong so that you can go fix it. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: like, it's not -- i don't want to see. >> if it's not going right -- >> seth: i don't want to see -- >> i'll make it go wrong. that's for sure. >> seth: yeah. i don't want to see a movie where it's like, "oh, gerard butler creates a satellite and that's it." >> yeah. >> seth: it's over. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. no. and, also, really, gerard butler create a satellite? are you kidding me?
[ laughter and applause ] >> seth: yeah. no one -- no -- >> can i put this up here or do i have to hide it? >> seth: yeah, you can put it there if that's better. >> i feel like it's been hidden down there. >> seth: no, just put it there, yeah. >> we'll, just keep the vodka down there. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, the vodka down there. oh, good, it's still there. you -- but you have been kind of a world-saver in some movies. "olympus has fallen." this is another example. but yet, you are scottish. and, when you go back to scotland, do they consider you heroic now that you've been in these movies, playing these -- these sort of characters? >> no, not at all. >> seth: yeah. >> no. [ light laughter ] you can't get away with much in scotland. you know, it's like, you know, "oh, you think you're a big man, hey?" we did that like -- >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> i did my scottish impersonation -- [ laughter ] my scottish impersonation. >> seth: you have a great scottish impersonation. [ laughter and applause ] >> exactly, you know. "oh, you think you're a big man? hey, you're saving the world!" i remember i was in this bar once and there was a girl looking over at me. i was with all my friends, i was having a great time. it was just when i was starting to get known. and i see her and she's kind of staring at me, like -- almost like, "you're a dick, because i know who you are." [ light laughter ] >> seth: really? [ laughter ] >> and i can see her like, "eh?" like almost like that, "eh?" and then she finally walks over, and she goes, "you know, i know your face through the tele but i'm not going to tell you that because it will give you a big [ bleep ] head. [ laughter ] i'm like -- "well, why did you come here to
tell me that then? go back over there." but, hey -- >> seth: scottish flirting. >> that's -- exactly. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> so we dated for two years. >> seth: two years, right, yeah. [ light laughter ] and then she broke it off because she saw your face in a movie and she's like, "that's too much. [ light laughter ] i'll see it on a tele, but a movie is too much." >> back to the "you think you're a big man, hey? think you're saving the world?" >> seth: so you take these films very seriously, especially a film like this that's so active. you know there's a lot of stunts in this, moving around. >> yeah. >> seth: and for your health, you tried something new on this film. in order to not get sick. explain your relationship with bee venom. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. >> seth: this is a real thing. >> i'm a maniac. yeah, i don't know what i was thinking. but i had this nutrition -- i -- i had a lot of inflammation. i was hanging a lot on wires in this 65 pound space suit. and that's fine for a few minutes, you know, a couple of hours maybe. but after five weeks, it's kind of -- you know, you're hurting. so my nutritionist said, "i've got this great guy. oh, my god.
bee venom. here's this thing." >> seth: uh-huh. >> "and he's incredible." so i get on the phone with him and he's like, "listen, you know, it has all these anti-inflammatory compounds and --" i said, "dude, it sounds amazing." but, you know, he made it sound so logical and i'm thinking -- >> seth: yeah. >> --if i can stay organic and do things in a healthier way rather than having to take anything else, you know -- >> seth: yeah. >> or you know, synthetic. so i go, "okay, great. when can you get here?" he says, "well, when do you want me here?" and, i say, "tonight." he goes, "it'll cost you." and i go, "great, fly in." so he flies in. the next minute, i'm topless in my place and he basic -- >> seth: everyone else would think this is so shady. >> it's so shady. [ laughter ] >> seth: and i love -- >> and we're just getting started. >> seth: yeah, oh, gotcha. >> so he goes, "okay, check this out. this is probably about 2.3 bee stings." and gives me a shot in the arm. and he goes, "we've just go got to check that you're not allergic." so i go, "oof, that -- it's getting sort of bad -- i'm okay." so he goes, "okay." so he gives me another ten. >> seth: oh, wow! 23 bee stings. >> and then, basically, 23 bee stings. and then i have the worst rea -- i've never had an allergic -- so, i actually, i get ants in my pant -- like crawling -- [ audience ohs ]
and in my head. and suddenly my arm starts swelling up and i get all blotchy. and then my heart beating like -- i'm sure it's going to explode. and i'm going -- >> seth: this is like the origin of a superhero named "beeman." >> yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> and i say -- so i said to him -- "get the epipen!" he goes, "i can't, you'll have a heart attack." i says, "then call an ambulance!" and he doesn't call an ambulance. he goes, "let's just --" >> seth: is this the point where he says, "i'm not a doctor!" >> "i am not a doctor!" yeah. [ laughter ] i don't know even know what this [ bleep ] is. so he then -- i get over it, and i -- as i go, "okay, i'm going to be okay." he calls the guy who -- the guy who sells it to him, the guy who created this thing and he puts him on speaker. just so that guy can tell him what an idiot he's been and i can hear it. the guy says, "how much did you give him?" and he says, "i gave him, like, .8 liters or milliliters." and he goes, "are you crazy! [ light laughter ] that is not protocol! you could have killed him!" [ light laughter ] and he's like this -- [ laughter ] so anyway, he goes home, and this is where the maniac part comes in. i decide a few days later, maybe it wasn't an allergic reaction.
maybe i just took too much. so i get on the phone -- he's like -- [ light laughter ] so he talks me through. and my girlfriend was coming in to visit me at that point. we had just started dating and i didn't want her to know how crazy i was. and so i take a shot. thinking it's going to be okay. and i have an even worse reaction. and i'm -- i'm like, "oh, my god." then, i'm thinking my throat is closing over. and then i say to the driver, "okay, you've got to take me to the hospital." and i say to my assistant, "go get morgan, please don't tell her what happened. tell her i'm just late at work." and he's like -- anyway, i end up in the hospital, and they say, "what, so it's a bee sting?" and i went, "yeah." they go, "what happened?" and i said, "well, i injected myself." [ laughter ] and they said, "oh, my god, that's terrible. so, and that was tonight?" and i says, "well, it was four days ago, as well." [ laughter ] anyway. so that -- you know. >> seth: that's great. it turns out, telling that to real doctors all of a sudden was like, "that is not a good idea at any point." [ laughter ] >> oh, no. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. so it was like -- "so you think you're a big man, hey?" [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: well, i'm glad you're okay. thank you so much for being here. gerard butler, everybody.
"geostorm" is in theaters and imax october 20th. we'll be right back with patton oswalt. man, that's a great story. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know who likes to be in control? this guy. check it out! self-appendectomy! oh, that's really attached. that's why i rent from national. where i get the control to choose any car in the aisle i want, not some car they choose for me. which makes me one smooth operator. ah! still a little tender. (vo) go national. go like a pro. posting hashtag yeehaw. hashtag i have no signal and i still can't post out here.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a grammy and emmy-award winning comedian, actor, and best-selling author you know from "the king of queens" and "justified," and such films as "young adult" and "ratatouille." his new stand-up special "patton oswalt's: annihilation" begins streaming on netflix october 17th. let's take a look. >> i'm genuinely -- i'm genuinely surprised that you're in such a good mood, especially with what i'm sure you guys saw, what just went down on twitter like five minutes ago. you didn't see? no? i'm kidding. nothing happened. but that's -- [ laughter ] that's the world we're living in right now, basically. is every -- oh, [ bleep ], what did he do? what? wait? what do you mean? [ laughter ]
i almost feel like i could get out of a mugging using that for the next couple of years. like if someone put a gun in my face. give me your wallet. you know what, just take my keys, man, it's over. go check twitter. what? and i just bolt, like i could -- [ laughter ] make it. >> seth: please welcome back to the show, our friend, patton oswalt! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> good, good. hi! thanks, guys. >> seth: hi. it's always such a delight to see you. >> yes. >> seth: we met in 2004. >> yes, we did. >> seth: on the set of a film that not a lot of people have seen called see -- >> no. >> seth: "see this movie." ironically called "see this movie." >> "see this movie." >> seth: where we played film -- look at the -- look how young we are. a couple of young film students. >> look at all the hope. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> look at all the hope. >> seth: this movie was so long
ago, pictures were blurry. >> yeah, they really were. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. that's before hd. >> and that's john cho right there. >> seth: that's -- and john cho right there. the great john cho in the middle. >> there he is right in the middle. >> yeah. >> seth: i also -- we're working on a show together -- you're doing the hard work. >> yeah. >> seth: you're a cast member on a new show called "a.p. bio." >> yeah. >> seth: this is gonna on nbc in february. >> yeah. >> seth: and you were here -- yeah, give it up for a show you haven't seen. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: give it up for a show that has yet to be scheduled. >> we could have just made that up. but yeah, applaud. >> seth: yeah, we could have made that up. >> seth: that was a test. >> yeah, why not? >> seth: but you came out -- there's a thing called up front where that's where we saw each other last. >> the last -- and i'd never done up fronts. up fronts are where you come and you talk to affiliates and press about the show. and i did not know that it was a morn -- it was a dawn 'til dusk. just nonstop gab fest where you're basically selling your product. so i didn't see you that day until the end of the night at that restaurant, where we all got together. and so when i -- and i was so happy to see you. but i had so been stuck in my head, in selling the show mode that our conversation -- i was
so afraid afterward, i'm like -- he thinks i'm psychotic. because you were -- it was like, hey, man, good to see you. it's great to see you, seth. and this restaurant is fantastic. the food here is -- [ laughter ] is so -- like, i don't even remember what i said. it was just in that weird nonhuman way of -- it was like i was trying to sell you on the wonder of hanging out with me. [ light laughter ] even though we were already hanging out. it was the saddest -- [ applause ] >> seth: that was not my take on it. >> no. >> seth: no. >> okay, good, good. my god. >> seth: you and your co star, glenn howerton were on the red carpet. >> yeah. >> seth: i remember us talking about this at the dinner. because e! was talk -- they were interviewing people about the tenth anniversary of the kardashians. >> yes they were. >> seth: and you guys have a new show on nbc. so new, you're new to the network. you did not realize that e! and nbc are owned by the same company. >> no idea. and so we're going down the carpet and talking and then e! goes, "hey, can we get your thoughts on the tenth year anniversary of 'keeping up with the kardashians?'" and glenn said, i would rather cut my scrotum off with a razor blade. [ laughter ] and this is on camera.
like they're talking -- oh, well i mean, you know, it's -- you're both on -- kind of on the same network. and you could see glenn's face realizing what he had just done. and then he -- like you could hear the gears grinding. of him going -- but ten years is impressive, whether or not i want to talk about -- [ laughter ] it was the -- and i am beside him, like, just trying -- it was the -- maybe the worst save i've ever seen. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> but it was beautiful. it was one of the best -- oh, i love this so much. it's so funny. >> seth: so congratulations on your special, "annihilation." >> thank you. >> seth: obviously we saw in the clip, it's a little bit about, you know, the world we're living in now. but you also had an incredibly difficult year. >> yes. >> seth: your wife passed away. and you talk about that at length. certainly my condolences. our condolences. the title. was that -- was it hard to pick the title? or was it -- >> it was -- you know, i didn't really -- i didn't really come up with the title until i was a week away from doing the special. because that's how it felt to me at that point in terms of the
world. it felt like the world had been annihilated and then in talking about what i had gone through, i was taken back emotionally to april of 2016. and that was where i felt like i had been annihilated. there were months where i wasn't even sure if i was alive, basically. and then so as a -- almost as a joke on top of those two very dark concepts was, you know, the comedian speak of oh, i killed, i annihilated. so i was like, okay, i'll put that in there almost as an ironic -- because i was so terrified of what if i go out and tape this special and it just bombs horribly, and i'm not able to make this stuff funny. and so i just -- i almost put that in there as a reverse good luck charm, maybe. >> seth: yeah. >> if that make sense? >> seth: did you -- obvious, you know, for people who don't know, when you do a special, you're working on material for so long, so many nights. >> yes. >> seth: did -- not only were you obviously are you working towards having a product that you're proud to show people.
was it incredibly cathartic for you to go through that process of talking about this thing on stage? >> yeah, once i actually got on stage -- it was horrible, the hours and minutes leading up to it. it got to the point where i'm like, just let me go out and tape this because the tension was killing me. and then once i got out there and it started going, and when you do a special, if you've really worked it, the special takes over and it's almost like you ride the material itself. not to -- that sounds very hippie-esque -- i'm sorry about that. [ light laughter ] you know what you do man, you just -- you catch a laughter wave. and -- >> seth: yeah, sure. [ laughter ] >> and you get on your -- you get on your -- get on your smile surfboard. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and you know what you do? you ride it into chuckle beach. that's what i'm trying -- [ laughter and applause ] no, but like, you know -- but i didn't know, because i was so in my own head even doing it. but i'd be like, what if i don't -- what if the stuff doesn't take over? and i don't -- but it did. it's like -- this is what i do. and it was this very -- it was almost like the life force asserting itself, going, yes, you've gone through all of this hell, and -- but you're still a
comedian and this is what you do. and it just -- that felt really amazing to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it's wonderful. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: it's wonderful to watch. you -- your daughter, 8-years-old. >> 8-years-old now. >> seth: halloween coming up. >> halloween coming up. >> seth: does she have plans? >> she has huge plans. she has picked a very elaborate costume that we're going to -- we're still trying to put together that she told me -- she goes, i know you're going on tv. don't say my costume! >> seth: okay, great. >> like, you guys will blog about it or something. or, you know. [ light laughter ] but the thing about -- every year, her friend -- she has this friend who goes to this very progressive hippie school in los feliz, where -- it's the kind of school where that's like we don't have walls. and like, we don't -- instead of an "a" or an "f," me give a sticker of a smiling pomegranate or a worried opossum. [ laughter ] like, wait, what? you know. but they do this really cool halloween carnival every year. and they -- and the kids -- these -- you know, grade school kids, put together a haunted
house. and it's so charming. you go in, and they have -- they make hallways out of trash bags and you go down the hall and something jumps, boo, and the kids -- it's just -- and i've -- i've taken my daughter since she was three, and she just jumps in my arms and hides her head, but i can hear her laughing. she's like, thinks she -- it's hilarious for her to be scared by this silly thing. but the last year we went, i don't know why this happened, the adults at the school decided we are going to help do the haunted house. so i go in with alice, and there's a bunch of other kids, and the first thing that happens, we walked in, and this woman dressed like a witch pops out and says, "i've killed harry potter!" [ laughter ] and all of the kids go, "what!" and just, like, start crying. and then she has to start going, no, but what happened was, he used an amulet to save him -- you'll see at the end. like, she has to then tell the whole story of the haunted --
so instead of, like, a fun haunted house with werewolves and ghosts, it was, we walked in the room and then adults just pitched bad movie sequels to us. [ laughter ] i guess -- [ applause ] and what really, really bummed me out was the first year i took alice through the haunted house at this school, i saw the scariest thing i've ever seen by accident. because, you know, again, you go down these halls and stuff pops out. so i turn the last corner, and, you know, that's where you go down the exit. this long hallway. and when i turn the corner, at the end of -- at the end of the hallway, as i turn, a kindergartner had gotten lost. and the kindergartner was wearing, like, an adult monster mask. and on it's tilted on his head. so it's this giant head and this little body and he's standing under a red light bulb. so i turned the corner, and there's just this little like -- thing. [ laughter ] like, at the end of this hall, like, i -- i [ bleep ] my pants
off, like that's -- like boom! it was so -- [ applause ] i have never gotten over that. it was so terrifying. >> seth: well, i hope you have a less terrifying halloween. always great to see you, buddy. >> yes. >> seth: congrats on the special. >> thank you so much. >> seth: patton oswalt, everybody. "patton oswalt: annihilation" begins streaming october 17th on netflix. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ (upbeat musi♪) ♪ it's here! it's here! it's here! ♪ ♪ ♪ (speaking hindi) (speaking spanish)
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to the show! it's official. apple has two new iphones, the iphone 8 and the iphone x. but what you may not know -- >> seth, look at me. >> seth: i'm sorry -- ben, this isn't the time. [ light laughter ] >> seth, i have something important to ask. >> seth: sorry, everyone, this is one of our writers, ben warheit. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth, will you sit in silence with me? >> seth: what? >> seth. will you sit here for one uninterrupted minute of silence and just be in the moment with me? >> seth: no. [ laughter ] >> it's just one minute. >> seth: why would i ever want to do that?
>> because i think it's important for you to understand that, you know, you're more than just the jokes and commentary you have to offer. seth, you're not a circus clown. [ laughter ] you're a real person. you don't need to be on all the time. we don't have to fill every single second of our time with material. we're allowed to just be here. so, come on. be with me in the silence. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> seth: and do what? >> do nothing. it doesn't matter. you could look at me, you could look wherever you want. >> seth: i guarantee people will think this is stupid. [ light laughter ] >> okay. so maybe people think, well it's stupid. do you think you're stupid? i don't. i -- i don't. i think you're kind and creative. and a good boss. [ audiences aws } and a good dad and husband. and i think people in your life will still care about you. you know, even if you're not constantly trying to entertain
them. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, man. i can already tell this is making the audience super uncomfortable. [ laughter ] >> i know. i know it's uncomfortable. it's -- it's unfamiliar. and it's like -- yeah, it may feel embarrassing and awkward. that doesn't mean it's wrong. [ laughter ] be with me in the silence. you know, people could laugh or not. it doesn't matter. it doesn't have to be funny. you know, it could be boring. it's fine. just like the people will always be there writing articles and commenting under youtube videos. that's for tomorrow. right now, i just ask, in this moment, be with me in the silence. >> seth: i don't know. >> all right. i'll tell you what. if you sit here with me -- [ laughter ] for one uninterrupted minute of silence, i promise you, not only will you feel a lot better, but when it's all over, i'll show everyone a video of larry bird's
best dunks but with all the dunk sounds replaced by fart sounds. [ laughter ] and because of, you know, the light and stupid nature of such a thing, we can all then take a collective breath knowing that the moment of sincerity is over and we're all going back to doing exactly what everyone expects from us. >> seth: okay. >> yeah? >> seth: when do we start? >> we start right now. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to gerard butler -- >> seth, seth. >> seth: no. >> will you look at me? >> seth: patton oswalt, joe russo, and of course, the 8g band. >> it was easy. >> seth: stay tuned for carson daly. see you tomorrow. no, i don't want to do it again. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'm carson daly. you'e t