Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 13, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

11:34 pm
local couple. they got married in wine country. the bride and groom said they spent the last year planning their dream wedding. when the fires hit much of the planning went haywire. the venue closed when they were supposed to get married, the family came together and found a new venue. the wedding went on with a few additions to the attire. the masks help with all the smoke. >> you're in love when you determine like that. >> we need a reason to smile. we wish them the best in their life together. our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. thanks for joining us tonight. good night. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- blake lively. gabrielle union. musical guest, wu-tang, and
11:35 pm
featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 758. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness! that is a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] hi. hi, how are you? welcome, welcome, thank you very much. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome, welcome. welcome, welcome. welcome to "the tonight show"! [ cheers and applause ] this is it. this is the show to be at. [ cheers and applause ]
11:36 pm
new york city. welcome, everybody. well, here's what people are talking about. there's still a lot of leaks coming out of the white house, saying that trump's really coming unraveled. i guess he's been walking around repeating himself over and over. [ laughter ] in response trump said "that is totally false. [ light laughter ] and totally false." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] not to mention, totally false. did you guys hear this? today trump said that he met with the president of the u.s. virgin islands, even though he is actually the president -- [ laughter ] of the virgin islands. trump was like, well that explains why he was so smart, and handsome, and has such huge hands. [ laughter and applause ] another big story is the executive order trump signed on health care, and he claims it will help millions of people. and people said, millions millions, or crowd at your inauguration millions? just making sure. [ laughter and applause ]
11:37 pm
i read that trump's executive order on health care will clear the way for cheaper policies that offer fewer benefits. well we looked into it a bit more and it turns out these cheaper policies will only cover a couple of things. take a look. first they cover headaches. [ laughter ] they also cover nausea. [ laughter ] and finally, they cover constipation. [ cheers and applause ] good to know. it's good to know. >> steve: that's it? >> jimmy: it's just good to know. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: this whole thing could take a while, in fact, white house chief of staff john kelly said our government is designed to be slow. when someone asked if that can get annoying, kelly said -- [ laughter ] yes. [ cheers and applause ] i guess. you guys, today is friday the 13th. [ cheers and applause ] i heard this is funny, to celebrate, tattoo parlors are offering $13 tattoos. [ light laughter ] 'cause what could -- what could go wrong, getting a cheap tattoo on the unluckiest day of the year? [ laughter ] how do you do that?
11:38 pm
[ applause ] listen to this, guys. there's actually a trailer that just came out for a pretty scary new sequel to the horror movie "friday the 13th." take a look at this. >> his victims never saw it coming. >> i do. there's clearly some -- >> one -- >> president trump put in the best cabinet -- >> two. >> thank you. >> three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten. eleven. twelve. thirteen. the last thing they heard was his terrifying catchphrase. >> hello. hello. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: what? >> steve: what is that? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. [ laughter ] >> steve: what is that? >> jimmy: i don't know what he's doing. check this out, you guys. a company is selling a $15,000 pool table shaped like a a banana. [ light laughter ] it's a perfect way to tell your guests i'm horrible with money. [ laughter ] banana. this is nice.
11:39 pm
i read about a man in new jersey who found a winning lottery ticket in an old shirt, and won $24 million. [ audience oohs ] when asked what he plans to buy with it, he said 1,000 banana-shaped pool tables. [ laughter and applause ] that's bizarre because we just said the joke about the pool table. well, it's the end of another crazy week, and since there's too much to talk about instead of giving you a full week in review, we decided to put together a little montage that just focuses on the key words used this week. it's something we call "this week in words." enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> war of words. >> trump on the attack. >> more and more people are pushing back. >> the fact we're not afraid of trump. walking on egg shells. i came to stomp. >> corker. >> backlash. >> tempers. >> flare. >> and calling the white house an adult day care. >> discord. >> tension. >> trump. >> deflects. >> and then there's tillerson. >> let's talk about -- >> rex and trump. >> and the tillerson feud. >> the president thinks he has a better iq. >> called trump a moron. >> rocky from the start. >> nonsense.
11:40 pm
he's smart. >> infighting. >> backbiting. >> problems to solve. >> there's a lot of psycho drama when donald trump's involved. >> "vanity fair." >> says trump's losing his mind. >> an executive order. >> he forgot to sign? [ laughter ] >> baseball playoffs. >> yankees win! >> the red sox out. the astros in. >> "stranger things 2" trailer. >> can't ignore. >> "star wars" trailer. >> porg. ♪ >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] porg. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you! we have a fantastic show tonight. it's always so much fun when she stops by. from the new movie "all i see is you," blake lively is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: we love her. >> steve: she's the best. >> jimmy: she really is so much fun. later in the show blake and i
11:41 pm
are facing off in a dance battle. >> steve: ooh. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: so stick around for that. plus, she's also one of our favorites. this is her brand new book called "we're going to need more wine." gabrielle union is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to need a little bit more, yeah. >> jimmy: and we have great new music from wu-tang! [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be great. guys, today's friday. that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, return some e-mails, and of course, i send out thank you notes. and just wondered -- [ cheers and applause ] can i write them out right now? is that okay with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you so much. hey, james. you got any big plans this weekend? [ laughter ] can i -- >> steve: almost. >> jimmy: can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ♪ >> steve: wow. he looks almost life-like.
11:42 pm
>> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, porg in the new "star wars" trailer, for letting me know what it would look like if i had squeezed a guinea pig as hard as i could. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey! porg. porg. >> jimmy: just playing with him, yeah. ♪ thank you, breaking a mirror, for meaning seven years of bad luck. and thank you breaking your iphone screen for meaning seven months of being too lazy to get a new iphone. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, controls on office chairs, for making sitting feel like i'm navigating an intergalactic spaceship. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why do i need all this -- what does this chair do? ♪ thank you, netflix screen that asks are you still watching? [ laughter ] for being the most passive-aggressive way of saying dude, you need to get your life together. it's like --
11:43 pm
[ cheers and applause ] six hours? [ laughter ] you're still -- you're still watching? [ applause ] >> steve: dude. dude, are you watching? ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, milk and sugar station at starbucks, for reminding me why i never want to be roommates with the rest of the world. [ light laughter ] it's like -- throw it in the garbage. it's right there. that hole is a garbage hole. >> steve: in the hole. >> jimmy: that's the garbage hole. why would you put it anywhere else, but in that? [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, halloween eggnog. you're like regular eggnog, but with more boos. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
11:44 pm
>> steve: shake weight. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: are you working out with a shake weight? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: are you working out with a shake weight? >> jimmy: yeah, i work out with a shake weight. i do it -- before the show. >> steve: oh my god, that's fantastic. >> jimmy: it's the only way to work out. >> steve: how's your eggnog? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: how's your eggnog? [ light laughter ] does it have any spirits in it? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you dude. [ cheers and applause ] hey, higgins. how many steps you got in your fitbit? >> steve: this hand, 20,000. this one 640,000. [ laughter ] that's weird. >> jimmy: it's so interesting. [ banging ] this is very loud is the only problem. >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: you can't even hear me because you're banging -- >> steve: well, i'm just
11:45 pm
setting my shake weight down. here, i'll put it underneath here. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, no problem. it's just loud -- you can just put it -- you can just put it anywhere. you just hear -- [ laughter ] higgins. it's just too noisy, you see. you're right by the -- why do you -- >> steve: okay. i'm good, i'm good. i'm just getting a piece of gum. >> jimmy: that's not gum -- dude that's not gum, that is -- that's a condom, dude. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, bobbing for apples, for making a thing you don't actually want really difficult to get. that's all you get. [ laughter ] you want an apple? a wet apple? i don't know. ♪ thank you, hay rides, for letting me know what it would look like if the amish had invented uber pool. there you go everybody. that's my thank you notes. we'll be right back with blake lively! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:46 pm
dad: molly, can you please take out the trash? (sigh) ( ♪ ) dad: molly! trash! ( ♪ ) whoo! ( ♪ ) mom: hey, molly? it's time to go! (bell ringing) class, let's turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. who would like to read? ( ♪ )
11:47 pm
molly: i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. it's running much faster now. see? it's amazing, molly. thank you. ( ♪ ) america's favorite cookie ♪ delicious chocolate candy ♪ oreo chocolate candy bars ♪ now also available in mint flavor ♪
11:48 pm
11:49 pm
11:50 pm
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my first guest tonight, my dance battle partner, is a very talented actress who stars in the new movie "all i see is you," which is in theaters october 27th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome blake lively! ♪ ♪ let's get it on you know what i'm talking about come on baby ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. >> thank you sir. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. what are these beaut -- this is for me? >> i came to dance. >> jimmy: oh, you came -- [ cheers ] >> well, i came -- i came to win. >> jimmy: you came to win? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: the dance battle? >> but, these are for you actually. >> jimmy: these are for me. yeah, i can't battle in those. you're going to dance in those? >> yeah. yeah. no, no i have to change. because, like, these are beautiful. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> right? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> but i feel like these are
11:51 pm
better dancing shoes. >> jimmy: really? >> i've seen a lot of beyonce concerts. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: are you competitive? yeah, you are, yeah, a little bit. >> yeah. >> jimmy: have we played games? >> yeah, we've played games. >> jimmy: what games did we play? >> are you blocking it out because i win? ooh. this is the smack talking. >> jimmy: what's the last game that you beat me in though? >> i don't know, you probably always win. >> jimmy: no, i don't always win. >> no, this one i'm actually nervous to do because you're really good at this. >> jimmy: why -- i don't know what i'm going to do. >> i've watched all your youtube videos. i've tried to like -- you know how they do in the nfl, and they watch the other team, they try to see their plays and their moves? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: it's going to be fun. you are always the best. i was talking with somebody today. do you remember we did a bit like eight years ago, nine years ago? >> thanksgiving. >> jimmy: thanksgiving bit. >> yeah it was like -- >> jimmy: and i was like -- i forget what the idea was. but you were very funny. >> it was like slapping you or something. >> jimmy: it was slapping me over the -- yeah, over and over again. >> yeah. we actually youtubed it. >> jimmy: i got to look that up. but anyways, we love you. and, i love having you back. >> thank you. happy to be here -- >> jimmy: now here we are so many years later. >> i know. >> jimmy: how's your family? how's the babies? >> they're so good. thank you. i have two baby girls like you. >> jimmy: that's right. >> so -- >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old now --
11:52 pm
so, yeah it's super calm at our house. >> jimmy: is she 1 already? >> yeah, she's 1. >> jimmy: oh my good -- did you have a big birthday party? >> no. we had a -- i made a cookie monster cake. and it was so cute. you shove like cookies in his mouth. and they crumble. and she just looked at it and then just like reached for a a steak. [ laughter ] which like, i don't -- i had steak. i was eating steak. >> jimmy: yeah. in the afternoon -- >> jimmy: yeah. so, she had a birthday steak. >> so, she had a birthday steak. and then she grabbed the other one. and she's like ham-fisting two steaks. >> jimmy: how cute is that? >> i've given birth to a baby viking. she's like -- [ laughter ] i don't know. it's like she's a white walker. >> jimmy: how cute is that, just eating raw meat? >> oh, it's great. >> jimmy: like medieval times. >> yeah -- >> jimmy: her hand -- >> for her birthday, i like washed her sleeves. her sleeves were dripping in blood from the steak. a child. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what a great memory. yeah. happy birthday. your kid gets covered in blood. yeah. >> just scraping the blood out of her clothes. >> jimmy: how's james taking the new baby? >> she's good. she loves her sister. she does this thing where she just like, "i love her so much. but i'm actually really harming her now." [ laughter ] still a baby -- >> jimmy: yeah, i know that.
11:53 pm
yeah. >> yeah it's like -- >> jimmy: she's squeezing too hard. yeah, absolutely. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i think she knows what she's doing. >> but then like we were talking about halloween. and she was like, "oh, i'm going to be cinderella." and i said "oh, that's so special. does baby ines get to be elsa? no, mike wazowski. [ laughter ] it's from "monsters inc" -- the one-eyed round -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> monster. >> jimmy: that's what she has to be. >> that's what she has to be. mike wazowski. >> jimmy: yeah. she can't be cinderella. >> and then i was like, "well, what about moana? and maybe, like you can be moana. and she can be, i don't know, te fiti. this beautiful mountain -- >> jimmy: sure. >> and she wanted her to be heihei. the -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the crazy chicken? >> the weird dumb chicken. who's like, "bock bock bock bock bock." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how great is "moana," by the way? >> it's so great. >> jimmy: when you have kids -- >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: i mean, you realize how important these shows -- and some of them can be really annoying. >> i sort of watch them before, though, the disney movies. >> jimmy: you watch them before you show them to the kids? >> i feel like my husband and i wait for them to go to bed so we can turn on "moana" and just watch the part where she walks through the wave. >> jimmy: yeah! >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: i know. >> jimmy: i freak out. >> it's the best. >> jimmy: i know, i really get
11:54 pm
into it, i'm like you guys want to watch "moana"? [ laughter ] let's do it, i'm like i can't do "dora" anymore -- i can't do another "dora the explorer." i can't do it. >> no, we never did that. >> jimmy: you never did dora? oh, you're so lucky. >> but, i feel like -- i feel like with my little chunky one, she's going to have to be jackie gleason for halloween or something. >> jimmy: well this is the year you can dress them up. you're allowed to dress them up when you're one. >> yeah, i know. you can make them anything you want. >> jimmy: around four, they start making decisions. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: like -- >> yeah, i don't want that to happen. >> jimmy: i know, it's the worst. >> my husband has a decision with halloween. because i always have really elaborate suggestions for him -- like i wanted him to be sully, ines going to be mike wazowski, he should have the full sully. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: that's cute. >> furry face. but we sort of have to put on a a lot of crazy faces for our job anyway. so maybe -- >> jimmy: yeah. that's true, yeah -- >> maybe that would be too much. >> jimmy: masks and prosthetics aren't -- it's like, that's what we do for a living. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, exactly -- we dress up for a living. yeah, halloween is our life. [ laughter ] let's -- i want to talk about your movie. "all i see is you." we're going to debut a brand new trailer that's never been seen before, for everybody.
11:55 pm
thank you for bringing that to us. you know we love you. so explain what the movie's about. because it's trick -- it's really good. >> yeah, it's -- it's about a a woman who loses her eyesight at the age of 12. and then ends up getting a a corneal transplant, which you can do. and regains her sight in her late 30s -- she's married to this man. and they have a beautiful loving relationship. and he's so generous because he takes care of her. and you know. and then you sort of find out that everything you thought your life was. it may not actually be. once she can see everything. >> jimmy: i mean, that's so bizarre -- >> it's sort of different than she imagined. yeah. >> jimmy: is it tricky playing -- how would you even practice -- >> well, i was really lucky. i have a friend who helped me a a lot. he lost his sight. his name is ryan knight. and he's this incredible man. and he would walk me around with a walking stick. he helped me learn to play guitar blind. just lots of different things -- and then another friend who was putting my contact lenses in, in the movie. she had the same thing. but she had a corneal transplant as well, this girl whitney. >> jimmy: wow. >> so i was acting to her. so, when i got my sight back, i made sure that she like felt like this was an accurate moment. there's a moment where i see my name for the first time. and my friend ryan told me that
11:56 pm
he actually, he forgot what his face looks like. >> jimmy: wow. >> and so it's something you that you -- so many things you take for granted. and so yeah, i had these two amazing resources helping me. and i wore contact lenses. so that i couldn't see. and i got to know the set. >> jimmy: what would you -- just black or blurry? >> it was like looking into a a jar of milk this close. so, it was just this totally foggy white. and i got to know the set by just touching everything and feeling it. and then i got to know the people around. and you became really sensitive to smell and to sounds. and i still knew who everybody was around, like even when they weren't speaking. >> jimmy: fascinating. >> so, it's amazing how other senses really turn on. and then, i took the lenses off. and saw the apartment for the first time after getting to know it blind first. >> jimmy: wow. >> so, it was cool. and no matter what you have in your head, it's different. and, yeah it's cool. >> jimmy: very, very good. i want to show an exclusive never-before-seen trailer for the movie. take a look. >> i'll be able to see fully. >> you'll be able to count fingers on day one. by week four, you should be at 20/50.
11:57 pm
>> the operation was successful. >> i can see. >> now, take your wife home. >> gina. >> what? >> i didn't know what my name looked like. >> what's the matter? >> everything's different. different than what i had in my head. >> i've never seen my wife in a a dress like that before. >> it felt really you, huh? >> well, we don't really know what me is. ♪ >> what's wrong with your eye? >> i don't know. i have something to tell you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: blake lively, "all i see is you." is in theaters october 27th. blake and i are having a dance battle after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this
11:58 pm
this this this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can take on psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira.
11:59 pm
what's your body of proof? whoo! testis this thing on?! huh? c'mon! your turn! mmmm... where do pencils go on vacation? (loud speaker) pencil-vania! pencilvania! (laughing) frosted just right. crunch in every bite. kellogg's frosted mini-wheats. ♪ you've got a strange ♪ and i like it , ♪ ♪ you make the world seem right, ♪ ♪ you make the darkness bright, oh yes. ♪ ♪ you've got a strange effect on me, ♪ ♪ and i like it. you for four years. you named it brad. you loved brad. and then you totaled him. you two had been through everything together. two boyfriends, three jobs...
12:00 am
you're like nothing can replace brad. then liberty mutual calls... and you break into your happy dance. if you sign up for better car replacement™, we'll pay for a car that's a model year newer with 15,000 fewer miles than your old one. liberty stands with you™. liberty mutual insurance. oh, you yeah!ht butch. (butch growls at man) he's looking at me right now, isn't he? yup. (butch barks at man) butch is like an old soul that just hates my guts. (laughs) (vo) you can never have too many faithful companions. introducing the all-new crosstrek.
12:01 am
love is out there. find it in a subaru crosstrek.
12:02 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you ready? welcome back, everybody. we're hanging out with blake lively now. [ cheers and applause ] "all i see is you", october 27th. blake loves to dance, and blake knows i love to dance. [ laughter ] i think the question on everyone's mind is who is -- who is the better dancer. let's find out in a segment called "tonight show dance battle." here we go. ♪ it's the tonight show dance battle yeah ♪ >> jimmy: all right, here we go. now, this here is the dance move generator. we're going to take turns hitting this button, which will randomly select a never-before-seen dance move. whoever's turn it is has to make up a dance for that move. and may the best dancer win. [ light laughter ] blake, since you are the guest, why don't we go first? let's start the dance move generator. >> okay. just hit it?
12:03 am
>> jimmy: yeah. whenever you're ready. ♪ [ laughter ] >> i've sort of been doing that this whole interview. >> jimmy: no way. me too. here we go. trying to pretend you don't have a wedgie dance. >> okay. >> jimmy: roots, can she get a a beat? >> okay. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's pretty good. i like that one. >> and i was -- >> jimmy: you had to hide behind me -- you had to hide behind me to dance. that's a very interesting move. [ applause ] >> in that move i could successfully pick my wedgie. [ laughter ] this was like full wedgie. >> jimmy: kill two birds, man. all right. almost too real. too real. hashtag. all right. now it's my turn. let's start the dance move generator. ♪ i'm gonna put my hand on the pa --
12:04 am
catching the bouquet. okay. >> you've done this a lot. >> jimmy: yeah. exactly, okay. catching a bouquet, okay. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> that's not really fair. >> jimmy: my -- my wife is so lucky. [ laughter ] >> i've got to do more ground work. >> jimmy: yeah, it's all the shake weight, man. >> my mom got me that for christmas one year. >> jimmy: oh, i got like 10 of them. >> but it wasn't a joke. >> jimmy: oh, really? yeah, that's the -- >> she dragged us out of the car, in front of the highway doing that.
12:05 am
>> jimmy: no way, please don't do that. >> i don't know if you can air that. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. we'll have to cut that out. [ laughter ] blake. try and top that. >> okay. >> jimmy: start the generator. ♪ [ laughter ] ballerina who keeps dropping marbles. okay. >> wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. >> jimmy: definitely a new dance. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: ballerina who keeps dropping marbles. roots. ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] that's beautiful. oh, oh, look out, hey! whoa, whoa, whoa, i don't like how you dipped forward. oh, drop your marble, be careful. be careful, my goodness. please be careful. [ cheers and applause ] good pratfall. good pratfall, i thought i was real. like, oh my god. al right. >> you did floor work. >> jimmy: i did floor work. you get competitive, i see, i see. let's see if i can top that. start the generator, let's see what's up.
12:06 am
♪ that's not annoying. okay, bang! [ laughter ] heisman magician? okay? >> i don't know what that means. >> jimmy: i guess -- what does that mean? like a heisman trophy? ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] all right, i'm happy i'm not out of breath for that one. but i don't know how else to do that. the heisman -- whatever -- >> you look like you need water. >> jimmy: you're going to win this time. whatever. i'm just out of breath. i'm totally doughy right now. all right, you're clearly the better dancer. >> dancer. >> jimmy: why even compete? >> we can dance, if we want too. >> jimmy: i mean, we can leave our friends behind. >> cause if you can't dance. >> jimmy: and if you don't dance >> then you're no friend of mine. >> jimmy: then you're no friend of mine. [ laughter ] let's do one more dance together.
12:07 am
>> okay. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: let's start the dance moves generator. >> do it together, right? >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. >> 1, 2, 3 -- >> jimmy: 1, 2, 3 -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know that. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i can do that. >> yeah, like -- >> jimmy: river dancing frankenstein. >> yeah, we always do that, right? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, of course. what are we doing? >> because like -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: start from backstage? [ laughter ] >> ready? ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:08 am
♪ >> jimmy: back in the business. blake lively! [ cheers and applause ] that is all for "tonight show dance battle." our thanks to blake lively. stick around. we'll be right back with gabrielle union! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ t-mobile's unlimited now includes netflix on us. that's right. netflix on us. get 4 unlimited lines for just $40 bucks each. taxes and fees included. and now netflix included. so go ahead. binge on us. another reason why t-mobile is america's best unlimited network.
12:09 am
discover card. hey. what can you tell me about your new social security alerts? oh! we'll alert you if we find your social security number on any one of thousands of risky sites, so you'll be in the know. ooh. sushi. ugh. being in the know is a good thing. sign up online for free. discover social security alerts. mom,on my car insurance of money by switching to geico. i should take a closer look at geico... you know, geico can help you save money on your homeowners insurance too? great! geico can help insure our mountain chalet! how long have we been sawing this log? um, one hundred and fourteen years. man i thought my arm would be a lot more jacked by now. i'm not even sure this is real wood. there's no butter in this churn. do my tris look okay? take a closer look at geico. great savings.
12:10 am
and a whole lot more. poor mouth breather. allergies? stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. breathe right.
12:11 am
you know win control? be this guy. check it out! self-appendectomy! oh, that's really attached. that's why i rent from national. where i get the control to choose any car in the aisle i want, not some car they choose for me. which makes me one smooth operator. ah! still a little tender. (vo) go national. go like a pro.
12:12 am
at stanford health care, we can now repair complex aortic aneurysms without invasive surgery. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for varicose veins. and if we can precisely treat eye cancer with minimal damage to the rest of the eye, imagine what we can do for glaucoma, even cataracts. if we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you.
12:13 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: we just love this person. she is a very talented actress and writer. this is her first book here, "we're going to need more wine: stories that are funny, complicated and true," which is available tuesday october 17th. please welcome the very lovely gabrielle union!
12:14 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪e >> jimmy: you're the greatest. come on. welcome back to the show. we love you. >> thank you for having me back. >> jimmy: please. i'm psyched. i want to talk about this book. i'm very excited about it. yeah -- >> crazy, right? i'm an author. this is insane. >> jimmy: yes. you're in the library of congress. this is true. really -- [ applause ] first i want to wish you a a happy early birthday. right? isn't your birthday around the corner? >> yes. october 29th. >> jimmy: october 29th is your date of birth. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do you do? you always do fun parties. what's your theme this year? >> this year the theme is sweat suits and sneakers. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah -- the themes are always kind of geared toward people actually dancing -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> and having no excuse not to dance and getting sweaty. >> jimmy: what were the other ones?
12:15 am
you did pajama jammy jam. >> we did pajama jammy jam. we did old school pep rally where you had to dress up in your old high school -- like from your high school or your college -- >> jimmy: that's awesome. we did '80s miami vice. >> jimmy: oh. >> but, we had like live alligators. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> i mean, of course. >> jimmy: of course. one must. >> yeah. >> jimmy: if you want to dance you have to have alligators. >> right alligators. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> and 2 live crew. so that was a great -- yeah. uncle luke, it ain't no party if uncle luke's not there. >> jimmy: oh, my god. the real 2 live crew? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, fantastic. >> it was a good night. >> jimmy: and i want to get to the book. i want to say congratulations on "being mary jane." >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's wrapping up after four seasons. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, you're wrapping up with almost the way you started right? >> with the movie. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, i'm psyched about this. >> everyone's psyched. but everyone has a different idea of what mary jane's happily ever after should look like. >> jimmy: well how did -- i mean, the show started, wasn't there a movie -- >> [ inaudible ] week. >> jimmy: and then people loved it. so, go off and make it into -- it's almost fitting that it ends -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: are, you -- is it bittersweet? >> it's bittersweet. she's one of my favorite characters i've ever played. >> jimmy: yeah.
12:16 am
>> and she's completely imperfect. there was the bed-wetting stage, which was -- adult bedwetting not as fun. >> jimmy: no. but it is -- >> she had a really hard time keeping a man during the peeing stage. >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, was that me? sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: one of us wet the bed. yeah. let's talk about this, "we're going to need more wine." >> yeah. >> jimmy: how did you think of the title for this one? >> you know, i wanted the book to feel like a conversation with friends. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and when i'm with my friends telling tales out of school, we have wine. so, if the conversation starts off, "like girl, hold up, we're going need more wine." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all you need is girl? >> girl. and it's wait, hold up, hold up. we need -- bring them all back i need a a chardonnay. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but yeah, and i just wanted it to feel like an honest conversation. >> jimmy: could you give us an example of one of the stories in the book? >> okay. there's -- >> jimmy: it's great. so funny. but it goes all over the place. >> yeah, we cover a lot of ground. >> jimmy: it's so fun. it's really entertaining. >> one of the funnier stories that i can tell, is called "who hates you most?" there's a chapter called "who hates you most?"
12:17 am
and we -- we're during a a tornado warning, watch or whatever. so we're all taking shelter and bored. and someone was like, "okay, who hates you most in the world?" and i was like, "i've got a a story that tops all stories." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's a -- >> this girl -- and this is like from high school. she was like evil comment sections, like but as a real person. [ laughter ] >> and her commitment -- >> jimmy: evil comments section but as a real person. yeah. >> her level of commitment to my pain was so thorough. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> like i'd never met her. she was the best friend of the girl that had dated a guy i had dated previously. like it was that kind of loose association -- and she decided i had to like die. and she showed up at a pep rally. you know how you have like a a big pep rally right before christmas break? >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, i'm sitting there in the front row. you know my little -- my girlfriend's like you know cheerleading. and this woman -- imagine the predator. [ laughter ]
12:18 am
shows up. and she's like, "i'm going to whoop your ass, bitch!" [ laughter ] and everyone was like looking around. like -- you know obviously she didn't go to my school. everyone's looking around like somebody's about to get their ass kicked. and, i'm like, "i know. it's going to be crazy. i'm going to watch, though." [ laughter ] and i'm looking around like whose ass -- >> jimmy: who is she yelling at? >> is she going to kick? because this is crazy. and she's like, "gabrielle union, you! you! i'm going to kick your ass!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. what? >> yeah. so like security got her off -- got her out of school. and i immediately -- i'm shaking. like i've had a near-death experience -- and i call my older sister, who shows up at the school, and she's like, "i'm a fight her." i'm like, "no, we're not going to wait around. no. we've got to get home." so but like -- it's friday the 13th. so you know like jas -- you know "friday the 13th." >> jimmy: yeah. >> 1 through like 17, jason pops up everywhere? so i'm at the mall, shopping for a christmas gift for my boyfriend that she's very upset about.
12:19 am
and i'm coming down the escalator with my mother. and she's at the bottom of the escalator. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a horror movie in itself called "the escalator." because you have to run into her. >> i've got to get down. >> jimmy: you take an escalator. >> i thought i could outrun her. i tried to turn around and run back up the escalator. [ laughter ] my mom was like no, "we're going to face this." i'm like, "you don't understand." so we get to the bottom of the escalator and she proceeds to say, "i'm going to whoop your ass in front of your mama." [ laughter ] and i'm shaking. and my mom goes, "i can't believe you'd be afraid of a a girl with a bullet bra." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mom, mom stop sticking up for me. mom stop. >> she's trying to kill me. but literally for the next six months, at the nail salon -- >> jimmy: you would see her. >> at my high school games she would pop up like jason and literally want to kill me and always sounded like a wwe promo. like always with -- "i'ma whoop your ass!" [ laughter ] [ inaudible ]
12:20 am
so cut to somebody was like what's her name? i'm going to look her up on facebook. and we're shooting -- we shoot "being mary jane" in atlanta. and guess where she lives. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: lives in atlanta. >> atlanta. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> i was like oh, "she's going to find --" because her level much commitment was so thorough. she's probably in the audience right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> she's going to be like, "i told you if i ever saw you, i was going to whoop your ass bitch!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: much deeper voice now. >> very deep. very deep. >> jimmy: you've moved yet again -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: because your husband is on a new team now. >> new team. >> jimmy: he's on the cavaliers. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you're moving to cleveland. >> we are in cleveland. >> jimmy: you are in cleveland right now. >> yes. nettie and celie have been reunited. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. [ applause ] >> thank you for that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> thank you. it's a slow clap. [ laughter ] >> nettie and -- [ inaudible ] thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: well, i wanted to
12:21 am
make sure that you had the right welcome to cleveland. >> oh. >> jimmy: so to help us out, from one of his great cleveland restaurants, mabel's bbq, here is chef michael symon. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: michael, come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> i love you brother. >> jimmy: how are you doing, brother? >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. michael symon, right there. >> i love you buddy. how are you doing -- >> jimmy: thank you for doing this. >> a little -- >> oh my god, oh okay. >> i know we're going to need more wine. but we're also going to need more beer. >> jimmy: a cleveland beer. here we go. >> all right, cheers. >> cheers. >> jimmy: what -- >> to cleveland, ohio. >> oh my god, it smells so good. [ cheers ] i wanted to make sure you and dwyane got some proper barbecue. so -- >> you called it last year on your show. >> jimmy: you did -- >> you were like, you guys are going to end up in cleveland. i'm like, michael, come on. >> and it happened. >> jimmy: and i can't wait -- >> and you know how i feel about -- >> i know, we've got a little bit -- yeah kielbasa. we've got ribs. pork ribs. >> oh. >> we've got beef ribs. >> jimmy: everyone is so jealous right now. cheers. >> cheers. >> jimmy: i love you. have a great -- >> oh my god.
12:22 am
[ inaudible ] [ cheers and applause ] gabrielle union! go get her book, "we're going to need more wine," available october 17th. we'll be right back with music from wu-tang clan! chef michael symon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when i look at you, i look back on my life and i know what it was for. what if i struggled... what if i sacrificed... and what if i swore i'd succeed... so you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. well then, my great granddaughter... it would all be worth it.
12:23 am
the autumn carved turkey is back for a limited time at subway. so much turkey. forty-eight hours of protection. i don't have to re-apply this, not once. it's really soft and almost velvety as you put it on. that's like really soft. try dove advanced care for softer, smoother underarms. inspired by the world. introducing vea. with real ingredients baked right in. with no artificial colors or flavors and always non-gmo. vea. find your way to real. this is google home mini. it's the google assistant for your house, so it gets you. if you mumble... (minions gibberish) it gets you. if you talk like this: add worcestershire sauce to my cart. it still gets you. gh: ok adding now. and if you're like: hey google, play my love playlist. (truly madly deeply by savage garden plays) oh really? play my love playlist.(pony - ginuwine plays) oh yeah. it also knows the difference
12:24 am
between you and him. it's google home mini, and the rest of the google home family. what'd ya think? we're almost there. um, on the jingle though, brad, i want to feel it right here. ♪ hmm-hmm... like here, in the chest? no, no, your heart. heart. in your heart. ♪ hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. yes! close. close. we're almost there. almost. i basically got it, right? basically, almost. but you're doing great. ♪ what did i just get into? ♪ hmm? nothing. you are a true friend of the crown. dilly, dilly. dilly dilly! madame susan, you are an even truer friend of the crown. dilly, dilly. dilly dilly! what is that? this is a spiced honey mead wine that i have really been into lately. please follow, sir brad. he's going to give you a private tour of the pit of misery.
12:25 am
i'm sorry, what? pit of misery! dilly dilly! dilly dilly! here's to the friends you can always count on. i've asked chase sapphire reserve cardmembers to find my next vacation. uganda, what are you up to? that's a real silverback gorilla. i'm freaking out! 3x points on travel and restaurants. sapphire reserve, from chase. make more of what's yours. when i walked through for a cigarette, that's when i knew i had to quit. for real this time. that's why i'm using nicorette. only nicorette gum has patented dual-coated technology for great taste, plus intense craving relief. every great why needs a great how. ♪ posting hashtag yeehaw. hashtag i have no signal and i still can't post out here. woah! look out, coming through. hey thomas. howdy there joy.
12:26 am
see joy's got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. you bet i do. best phone, best network. america's largest, most reliable 4g lte network. she can post out here like she does in the city. hey twelve likes. what? likes won't get you didly around these parts. yaaw! (vo) when you really, really want the best, get the new iphone on the best unlimited with plans starting at $40 per line for four lines.
12:27 am
because everyone likes easy. sure do. because everyone is on the go. because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. reaching up. shhh. because sometimes we want it cool at night then toasty in the mornings. introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wall and the eyes, nest thermostat e. e is for everyone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:28 am
>> jimmy: they are the members of one of the most influential hip-hop groups of all time, whose new album "wu-tang: the saga continues" is out today. performing "my only one," give it up for rza, ghostface killah, cappadonna, mathematics, featuring latorre and the roots. wu-tang! [ cheers and applause ] b ♪ ♪ come on check it fallon's in the house come on come on ♪ ♪ questlove in the house wu-tang's in the house ♪ cappadonna's in the house ♪ ♪ mathematics in the house let's get 'em let's get 'em let's go ♪ ♪ ♪ girl you've got to know you'll always be my only one ♪ ♪ the only one the only one baby you're the one ♪ ♪ tonight i'm taking off so i can make time for the one ♪ ♪ cause you're the one the only one
12:29 am
baby you're the one ♪ ♪ yo floor seats roll five at the barclays my girl's physical ♪ ♪ she wanna see beyonce lipstick from hugging me close it's on the collar ♪ ♪ tomorrow night dear we gonna crash the oscars shout out to my l.a. jeweler for the chandelier ♪ ♪ around her neck yeah my baby's the best her credit line is like rza and mine combined ♪ ♪ she can ride off the lot at the drop of a dime rozay minks matching diors ♪ ♪ i cop that overseas on tours no makeup ♪ ♪ when she wake up sweatpants and the fat ass that's right ♪ ♪ watch where she laced up she playing the kitchen like patti labelle ♪ ♪ with a bunch of jokes all day like dave chappelle a checkbook queen ♪ ♪ who had a manager well and a bedroom she be doin in ♪ ♪ doin it well come on girl you've got to know ♪ ♪ you'll always be my only one the only one ♪ ♪ the only one the only one baby you're the one ♪ ♪ tonight i'm taking off so i can make time for the one ♪ ♪ cause you're the one the only one baby you're the one ♪
12:30 am
♪ look me in my eye and lie to me again tell me i'm only lover ♪ ♪ your best friend tell me that this moment we have would never end ♪ ♪ look me in my eye and lie to me again she had a couch in the library ♪ ♪ and a bed that led to a cemetery yeah shorty had money to call an audi ♪ ♪ wild as a prophecy iphone record me put on icloud let tmz report me ♪ ♪ oh what a girl what a world she bought me when our lips touch she likes it rough ♪ ♪ bustin like a rocket to the moon or bust past after ♪ ♪ they've been bounced this just like she was my soul aspiration ♪ ♪ she's the type who likes sex over masturbation ♪ ♪ and tonight i'm giving a full emancipation ♪ ♪ like girl you've got to know that you'll always be ♪ ♪ my only one the number one the only one ♪ ♪ number one the only one baby you're the one ♪ ♪ girl you taking off so i can make time for the one cause you're the one ♪ ♪ the only one baby you're the one
12:31 am
i seen you at the five and dime ♪ ♪ wasting your time oh you shine i'm looking at your --- from behind ♪ ♪ you walk by smelling like watermelon you might make me a felon ♪ ♪ my eyeballs swelling excuse me wanna have a talk with you ♪ ♪ i'm sick my medicine is can i walk with you fantasy feeds ♪ ♪ after that we can cheat laying on the bed handcuffed with hard meat ♪ ♪ smacking smack it then broke nothing can stop my continuous poke ♪ ♪ compound porno flick music daddy came with it when i wrote it ♪ ♪ i went upstairs in the middle of night i seen a young lady ♪ ♪ she was coming my way i dipped my hat said how do you do you're looking mighty good ♪ ♪ in that --- suit girl you've got to know ♪ you'll always be my only one ♪ ♪ the only one the only one the only one ♪ ♪ baby you're the one let's get em tonight i'm taking off ♪ ♪ so i can make time for the one the only one the only one ♪ ♪ baby you're the one
12:32 am
hands in the air wu tang wu tang wu wu ♪ ♪ the saga continues mathematics jimmy fallon wu tang forever ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! >> jimmy: come on! >> give 'em a hand! >> jimmy: wu-tang! "the saga continues" is out now! we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ jack: why am i sitting here at
12:33 am
12:34 am
12:35 am
jack: this ridiculously long table in the middle of nowhere? jack: to invite all my friends in the industry to try this. jack: fast food's first ever ribeye burger. jack: made with 100% ribeye beef, grilled onions, a red wine glaze and creamy havarti cheese. jack: ahh, here comes the competition now. jack: and of course, since they work for my competitors, i've obscured their identities jack: except for this guy. jack: he is so screwed. jack: try my new havarti & grilled onion and all-american ribeye burgers.
12:36 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to blake lively, gabrielle union, chef michael symon, wu-tang once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots. oh you guys -- [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody! that's impossible -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- tina fey. mlb network analysts kevin millar & sean casey, comedian matt goldich, featuring the 8g band with gene hoglan. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. following reports that secretary of state rex tillerson called president trump a "moron" this summer, white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders said today that trump still has confidence in tillerson.

50 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on