tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 21, 2017 12:37am-1:38am PDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- sofia vergara, from "ghosted" actor and comedian, craig robinson, star of "difficult people" actress and comedian, julie klausner, featuring the 8g band with gregg bissonette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. twitter announced yesterday it will be increasing its character limit from 140 to 280 characters per tweet, on a trial basis. so we're now officially at war with at least 17 more countries.
[ laughter and applause ] according to cnn, after the candidate he was backing for the alabama special senate election lost, president trump was quote, "pissed and embarrassed." incidentally, "pissed and embarrassed" is also the title of his russian hotel tape. [ cheers and applause ] stick around for embarrassed. according to reports trump's son-in-law and senior adviser jared kushner is registered as a female voter in new york. [ light laughter ] to be fair, he did register over the phone. [ high-pitched voice ] "hello, i'd like to register." [ laughter ] "well, okay. let me say, you have a beautiful voice, ma'am." [ light laughter ] while discussing the corporate tax rate today president trump said that 20 is his ideal number and he is not negotiating that number, which is the same thing he says when he orders chicken mcnuggets. [ laughter ]
a new poll has found that education secretary betsy devos is the least popular member of president trump's cabinet with a 28% approval rating. or as she calls it, this many. [ laughter and applause ] a new study has determined that people in relationships can detect infidelity in their partner's voice especially when their voice says, "oh, you're home early! [ laughter ] so happy to see you." [ light laughter ] and finally it was reported today that justin timberlake may perform at the super bowl in february, and that the jets will not. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. from abc's "modern family" one of our favorites, sofia vergara is here tonight, how about that?
[ cheers and applause ] he -- is the star of the new comedy on fox, "ghosted," he's a very funny guy, craig robinson is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and she's a fantastic writer, she's a fantastic comedian, she's on hulu's "difficult people," julie klausner is joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] so, we've talked about tonight show this week, last sunday what happened with the anthem protests, what happened with trump's criticism of players who kneel during the national anthem. and it's led me to reflect on my relationship with football, and more importantly, my relationship with the pittsburgh steelers who i deeply, deeply love. i love the steelers so much that i'm fairly embarrassed by it. i think about them way too much. they effect my emotions way too much. what's really embarrassing, i am not from pittsburgh. [ light laughter ] my dad is from pittsburgh and one of the things he ingrained in my brother and i was this
love for the pittsburgh steelers. here's how much my dad loves the pittsburgh steelers. if -- sometimes my dad will say, "hey, i have a friend and he wants to come to the show. can you get him a couple tickets?" and i always do that, and then afterwards i'll go back and talk to that person, and one of the things i always say is, "hey, how do you know my dad?" and at least once a month, that person will say to me, "oh, i was wearing a steelers hat at a restaurant and he -- [ laughter ] he just walked over and started talking to me." [ light laughter ] and then they talk long enough that it ends with them getting tickets to the show. [ light laughter ] and that's great. that's what i love about football, really a sports of any team. is that you connect with strangers. you feel an emotional connection. i also love that because football doesn't really matter, it allows you to have a real emotion about fake things. for example, because i'm a steelers fan i hate the patriots. now, i don't really hate the patriots. i just fake hate them for sports reasons, but i really hate the patriots. [ laughter ]
but you know, i don't hate people who like the patriots. for example, our cue card wally he loves the patriots, and i love wally. yeah, give it up for wally. [ cheers and applause ] even though i would say two to three days a week he wears a patriots shirt, as if to mock me. [ light laughter ] we had an actual patriot on our show, julian edelman. here's a photo of him. he was just a lovely guy. we had a wonderful time. he gave me a patriots hat, which i promptly threw in the garbage. [ light laughter ] that's not true. wally asked me for it and i told wally buy your own [ bleep ] hat. [ laughter ] and then i threw it in the garbage, but -- [ light laughter ] but the thing is, i hate the patriots, but also i don't, but i really do. [ light laughter ] and i also love the steelers so much that i love the players. i genuinely love, again -- this is all irrational. i understand this is all irrational. i love players that i've never met, that i've never spoken to, but i will say, what i realized this week is because i love these players it would be crazy for me not to want to hear what
they wanted to express, the actual feelings they had as human beings. it would be crazy to just love them as players and not the humanity of them. so for me, you know, when someone uses their platform to peacefully protest something important to them, i have a great deal of respect for that. now, a lot of people are saying there is a better time and place than during the national anthem at a football game to protest, but the thing about protests is you do them at a time where the maximum amount of people pay attention to them. and that's why it is the right time to talk about something that's important to you. no one -- you never hear someone say like, "we should protest." "where?" "quietly, in my parents' basement." [ light laughter ] [ whispering ] "what do we want?" "equality." [ light laughter ] "when do we want it?" "now." "what are you two doing down there?" "ah! uh, the pledge of allegiance." [ light laughter ] the steelers -- what's interesting about the steelers is they have a player on their team who is an army veteran.
he actually served in afghanistan. his name alejandro villanueva and he's a really interesting person to listen to this week. or at least i found him interesting to listen to, because he was both, you know, in the army and he's now on a football team. and something that he seems to understand that president trump doesn't is that when a player takes a knee in silent, peaceful protest during the national anthem, they're protesting racial injustice, and they're not saying anything about the troops. they're not saying anything about not loving this country. and i would think that when you have someone with that depth of experience of having lived in both those worlds, that would be somebody worth listening to. the other thing is, i think there's this idea that people like football more and sports and general, when they're not complicated. but particularly with nfl football, nfl football didn't get complicated on sunday. it's been complicated for a while. i think in order to watch the nfl, in order to love it as much as i do, you have to get over a lot of things that are true about the sport.
and so, because of that, you know it's too late for me, i'm always going to love football, i'm always going to love the steelers, but i have a son now. and i have a chance to maybe not indoctrinate him the way my father indoctrinated me. i have not made that choice. [ light laughter ] i'm going all in. [ light laughter ] for example, i am in a three strike football pool. you basically pick one team every week and you're allowed to be wrong three times over the course of the season, and i decided to let my year-and-a-half old son, ash, pick the teams this year. now, obviously at 18 months, he's not great with what teams are better than others, so what i did was i bought 32 tiny plastic football helmets and i put them in a bag and once a week i try to get him to take one of them out and that's the pick. the only problem is i cannot, for the life of me, get him to only take out one helmet at a time as evidenced by this. >> seth: just one, just one. ash.
just, give me one. ash, give me one. give dada one. okay, it is the panthers. >> my football. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, my god. thank you. but it was the panthers. you gave me the panthers. i cannot tell you how much i love that, and the panthers lost so he's not even good at it. [ light laughter ] i should say that afterwards, i immediately packed them back up and i put them away and he lost his mind and my wife said, "you have to let him play with them now." [ light laughter ] because of course to him they were just colorful pieces of plastic. he didn't see -- what it was like, gambling implications of it. [ light laughter ] so i guess the question is why with everything am i just full bore going in this world where i want my son to love football as much as i do? in 2005 my entire family, my parents, my brother, and i we went to the super bowl in detroit. the pittsburgh steelers, who had not won a super bowl for a very long time, won in the super bowl in 2005 and my dad, there's
things called "terrible towels" which steelers fans wave at football games and my dad just started crying into the terrible towel. and of all the times i've seen my father cry, it is my favorite. because, it is the only time i've seen my father cry. [ light laughter ] and i think about it all the time, and how happy it made me and how it is -- you know for us, and again it's irrational. i'm not saying there's any reason that anyone who isn't doing this should do it, but it's become such a family thing and it means so much to me, so, you know, i would just say that things that are important to me, peaceful protest very important to me. i hope it stays around forever. i hope football stays around forever. i do think the nfl should get rid of the patriots. and i'm not alone in that. [ cheers ] they're bad people. they're not, i'm just kidding, but they're really awful. and wally you should be ashamed of yourself and buy your own [ bleep ] hat. [ light laughter ] but, i guess what i'm trying to say is i'm really looking forward to sunday. so, thank you guys so much for listening to me ramble on --
about football. [ cheers and applause ] moving on, this week has been a perfect microcosm of the trump era, as president trump fanned the flames of cultural flashpoints, like the nfl protest. a darling of the far right, judge roy moore, won a gop senate primary in alabama. for more on this it's time for a "closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: trump of course began his feud with nfl players who peacefully protest racial injustice last week at a rally in alabama. in fairness, that's pretty much what you expect when you hear the words rally in alabama. [ light laughter ] nobody hears there was a rally in alabama, and goes, "oh! was it for transgender adoption rights?" [ light laughter ] and yet, despite tweeting repeatedly about the nfl and the anthem, trump insists he isn't obsessed with it. yesterday at a joint press conference with the prime minister of spain, he was asked if he was preoccupied with the issue while he should be focusing on puerto rico, and offered this very confusing, defense.
>> to me the nfl situation's a very important situation. i've heard that before about was i preoccupied. not at all. not at all. i have plenty of time on my hands. all i do is work. >> seth: what? [ laughter ] you have plenty of time on your hands. all you do is work? one of those things can't be true. [ laughter ] that's like saying, "i go on lots of dates. all i do is play grand theft auto." [ laughter ] but here's the thing, there's a reason trump is so much more interested in talking about the nfl than say, health care. and the reason is, trump knows nothing about policy. take his response to the crisis in puerto rico. when he finally got around to talking about it on tuesday, trump made sure to do two things, claim credit for doing a great job, and demonstrate that he knows where puerto rico is, and even that he messed up. >> we've worked very, very hard in puerto rico. it's very tough because it's an island. in texas we can ship the trucks right out there and, you know, we can do -- we've gotten a pluses on texas and on florida,
and we will also on puerto rico but the difference is this is an island, sitting in the middle of an ocean. and it's a big ocean, it's a very big ocean. >> seth: he sounds -- [ light laughter ] he sounds like a kid who forgot to work on his oral report and is just vamping waiting for the bell to ring. "puerto rico is in the ocean, which is a big ocean and salty. it is a -- big salty ocean. [ laughter and applause ] and their biggest export is -- come on, 3:00!" but every time, trump feels the chill of a policy failure,he knows he can warm himself up by stoking the fires of racial resentment, and that's not unique to trump. it's a defining feature of the modern gop. and last nights senate primary in alabama is a perfect example of this. the winner of that primary is a guy name judge roy moore, seen here yesterday riding a horse to the polling booth to cast his vote. and when you see a judge roy moore riding a horse to the polls, it's hard not to think,
"is this cnn or turner classic movies?" [ light laughter ] moore is a darling of the far right known for his many years of open bigotry and homophobia. he defied the supreme court decision legalizing same-sex marriage, and he's also called for a muslim member of congress not to be seated because of his religion and said homosexual conduct should be illegal. now, trump himself endorsed moore's opponent, senator luther strange after repeated prodding from the gop establishment. but even trump seemed to know that his base was really much more in line with moore, because at a rally in alabama on friday to campaign for strange, trump actually admitted that in not endorsing moore, he might've made a mistake. >> i'm thrilled to be here with the really great person that i've gotten to know, luther strange. luther strange knows the true source of america's strength, it's god, it's family, and it's country. we're here tonight for luther strange. and i might've made a mistake and i'll be honest, i might've
made a mistake. >> seth: wow. can you imagine trump giving your football team a halftime speech? now, let's get out there and beat the lions, who are frankly a better team and i wish i was coaching them. [ light laughter ] panthers, on three. one, two, three, lions! [ laughter and applause ] and after moore won last night, trump immediately offered his support and it makes sense that trump is now enthusiastically backing moore, because moore is very much cut from the same cloth as donald trump. he relies just as much on open bigotry as trump and seems to care just as little about actual policy as trump. take the issue of daca, otherwise known as the dreamers program, which allows children brought here as undocumented immigrants to stay in the country. you'd think moore might want to have a position on that, but when he was asked about it recently on an alabama radio show he had no idea what it was. >> would you support an end to the d.r.e.a.m.er program that president trump has still continued to push? >> pardon? the d.r.e.a.m.er program? >> yes, sir.
>> i have not -- the daca, dapa -- you're not aware of what d.r.e.a.m.ers are? >> no. [ light laughter ] >> d.r.e.a.m.ers this is a big issue -- >> no. >> in the immigration debate, d.r.e.a.m.ers are -- >> why don't you tell me what it is, dale, and quit beating around, and tell me what it is. >> i'm kind of shocked that you don't know what this is. what do you think about that? >> well, if trump's done it, well, that's what trump's done. >> do you support the ending of that program, that you didn't know existed? [ laughter ] >> well, i would look at that program, i surely would. >> let me know what you think about that d.r.e.a.m.er program when you learn about that. [ laughter ] >> seth: who knew how sassy alabama radio hosts were? [ light laughter ] "can you explain daca to me? oh, you da-can't?" [ laughter ] like trump, moore cares very little about the nuances of policies that effect millions of peoples lives and cares much more about riling his base, through spectacle and grievance. like on monday, when he appeared at a rally, in a vest and cowboy hat, and spoke about his support for the second amendment.
>> it's been very hard for my wife and myself. to weather two, nearly three months of negative ads. that we couldn't answer with money, because we didn't have it. >> why is that? >> ads that were completely false. that i don't believe in the second amendment. i believe in the second amendment. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's right. the second amendment which apparently gives you the right to defend yourself against very tiny burglars. [ laughter ] took him a while to get it out. he couldn't find it in his pocket. "car keys? no." moore and trump both appeal to their bases by fanning their resentments, and feeding their grievances. for example, moore said as recently as last year that he still believes the racist conspiracy theory popularized by trump that barack obama was not born in this country. and moore also believes there are towns in the u.s. currently under sharia law, despite the
fact that that is of course, completely divorced from reality. here's the truly surreal exchange moore had with a reporter from the website vox, that makes him sound like an expert on daca. [ light laughter ] moore, "there are communities under sharia law right now in our country up in illinois." reporter, "which american communities are under sharia law? when did they fall under sharia law?" moore, "well there's sharia law as i understand it, in illinois, indiana. up there, i don't know." [ light laughter ] reporter, "that seems like an amazing claim for a senate candidate to make." moore, "well, let me just put it this way, if they are, they are. if they're not, they're not." [ light laughter ] what the hell are you talking about? [ light laughter ] i'm starting to think that hat is covering up a massive head wound. [ laughter and applause ] "my car kicked me in the head." [ applause ] so -- roy moore is now the gop nominee and front-runner for a senate seat in alabama, and if he wins, he will join donald trump in making decisions about everything from your healthcare to national security in washington.
this is the modern republican party, although modern might be the wrong word. this is the current republican party. this has been a "closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with sofia vergara everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: for more of seth's closer looks, be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. hey steve check out this guys leg. yeah looks like a real nasty moving back in with his parents. what? no. i just broke my leg. no, this is a full blown move in to the basement, you're gonna be out of work without that money from... aflac! you might miss your rent. aww i just moved out. bummer man. hey i used to have my own place. yeah? no, no i live with my mom, but it's cool. health can change but the life you love doesn't have to, keep your lifestyle healthy with... aflac!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: also, sitting in with us tonight, he's one of the most versatile drummers in the world, and currently plays with ringo starr and his all starr band. ringo and the band are about to begin a fall tour, which kicks off october 13th at planet hollywood in las vegas. gregg bissonette, everybody. thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you, seth. great to be here. thank you. >> seth: you know our first guest tonight from her work as gloria, on the hit series, "modern family", which just began its ninth season on abc. new episodes air wednesday nights. let's take a look. >> don't rock in this thing so much. i am getting sea sick. >> well you poor thing. maybe if you would oh -- cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. calf's cramping up. calf's cramping up. gloria, i need you to rub my calf. >> no, i'm not going to touch that water. >> gloria, i'm in so much pain, you got to put a little pressure
on it. put a little pressure on the calf. >> okay, fine. i can't get it. >> move it. >> ahh! i'm in the lake! >> seth: please welcome back to the show, sofia vergara, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]tu >> seth: hi, sofia. >> i'm good. thank you for having me again. >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. i want to talk to you about the steelers very briefly. >> i mean, already? that's all you care about, huh? >> seth: it is. it is. it's on my mind. >> it's like, what's wrong with you guys? >> seth: well your guy, joe manganiello, who is a lovely person, and not just because he is a big steelers fan. >> yeah. >> seth: but you have sort of married into that world. >> yes. >> seth: and you are such a beautiful woman and i believe that if anyone, if anyone could make steelers gear look sexy, it would be you.
and then i saw this photo and realized that i was wrong. you're not -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i have to be honest with you. you always look very happy, you do not seem to have any joy in your eyes in this photo. >> i mean, it's like -- the only like i would say that it's like the -- only bad thing, like, that joe has is like he doesn't -- it's like a defect i think. is that he doesn't understand that steeler clothes is not, like a brand, you know? >> seth: yeah. i see, right. [ light laughter ] >> it's like, he thinks that that's the only thing that is clothes. like, he doesn't have a t-shirt or a shirt, or a jacket, or socks, that say steelers. it's like he doesn't understand that is not clothes. that's like -- like a thing for a game, to wear to when you go to the stadium. >> seth: yes. >> he doesn't understand. >> seth: doesn't understand. in a perfect world, he would be on the red carpet at the oscars and they'd say, "who are you wearing?" and he'd say, "the steelers." [ laughter ]
>> yeah, and -- and me too, and me too. it's like, he likes sometimes lay out things just like, "look how beautiful that is?" it's like -- i'm like, "yeah, beautiful." [ light laughter ] >> seth: and i will say, my wife has made the observation as well, that black and gold are not good colors for a lady. it is just -- >> i mean, that doesn't really -- i mean, that's not the worse part. that makes you look like a bumble bee but -- [ laughter ] the worse part is like -- it's not everyday for god's sake. you know? >> seth: yeah. >> it's like, every once in a while. like, you know -- i could have worse problems than that, don't you think? >> seth: you could have worse problems. well, i want to bring up something that might, to me, maybe is a worse problem. because joe looks like someone who would be a sports fan. he looks like an athlete. but i did not realize this until today, that he is still -- still plays dungeons and dragons. that can't be true? [ light laughter ] >> yes. >> seth: he does? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, and he's like -- he's obsessed with it. >> seth: wow. >> he has like a lot of figurines. [ light laughter ]
he has like a dungeon in the house. and he has like a lot of figurines. >> seth: like a fake dungeon, right? [ laughter ] >> well, it was like a wine cellar and -- it was supposed to be the wine cellar, and suddenly with like the month -- started to happen. it's like i wish i had brought you a picture. it's like, he has like these gigantic heads of dragons hanging from the wall. [ light laughter ] it has like a little village all in the table. it's not a wine cellar anymore. it's a dungeon. just like, gigantic chairs, and they love it, because they feel like it -- gets them in the mood, i think. [ laughter ] >> seth: so guys, he actually has friends over, and they come and go down to the dungeon. >> and they stay there forever. i just hear them. [ laughter ] i've seen very pretty girls go down there and play too. >> seth: oh, wow. and that's -- you're very forward thinking that you would let that happen. now i'm thinking -- [ laughter ] now i'm thinking that this might be all some sort of sham. [ laughter ] "no honey, they're just here for
the -- for the dragons." >> yeah, so girls play it too. but he loves it, and he invites friends. and i love it. i love being part of it but organizing the room, giving him food there. beverages. >> seth: gotcha. and do you bring down like beverages that are appropriate to dungeons, or is it just regular beverages? >> i have never really been like in a dungeon, dungeon so i don't really know what's like appropriate. i feel like columbian coffee is always appropriate, so i put like a thing there that stays hot for like six hours so i don't have to go up and down. >> seth: that's great. >> and cheese, crackers, tea. >> seth: this sounds like a lovely dungeon. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. i mean -- >> seth: i would, i mean, if it's ever free for a weekend, i will airbnb that dungeon. >> i mean, i know, when you're in l.a. -- [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, please. >> when you're in l.a., you're welcome. it's like it happens all the time in my house. >> seth: i also want to talk about your work husband, ed o'neill, who is such a fantastic actor. and you know him first from -- >> you know, he went one time to the pittsburgh steelers, too.
>> seth: i did know that, yeah. [ laughter ] i can pretend i didn't know that, but i did know that, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: and you knew him first from "married with children." >> yes. >> seth: but when you were watching it, it was in spanish and his voice was dubbed by a spanish actor. >> yeah, in columbia, we watch things dubbed. but it was, i think it was like dubbed by some actor from spain. he had like a -- he had like this voice, like an antonio banderas kind of like guy. and then that's how you know like, once you hear someone, you grew up listening to that, the first time i saw him that's what i was expecting. [ laughter ] and i'm like, "this guy doesn't even know one word in spanish." [ laughter ] it was a little like heartbreaking, but then i got used to it fast. >> seth: yes. you have a new line of is it -- lingerie? what would you call it? >> well, it's not a new line of lingerie, it's an underwear. >> seth: underwear. >> yes. >> seth: and it's called eby. >> it's called eby. it means empowered by you. and you are the woman that -- sign in.
this is a subscription underwear. >> seth: oh, okay. >> you receive your underwear in this little box every month, or every two months, or every four months and you get this amazing underwear that is like spectacular. you are donating -- well, not donating, we are giving 10% net of the proceeds -- proceeds. >> seth: proceeds, yeah. >> proceeds, to empower women. >> seth: great. >> we're helping them open their own businesses. i'm very excited about this, because it's a business for me. and with my business, i am going to help empower other women to make their own businesses. so, it's very nice. >> seth: that's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] and that's very convenient and wonderful. >> and we have all sizes, from not just like, you know, small, medium, large, we have extra small to 4x. so we wanted to include every size of -- [ laughter ] >> seth: they all deserve it.
they all deserve nice things. thank you so much for being here. it's always such a pleasure to see you. >> thank you. >> seth: sofia vergara everybody. "modern family" airs wednesday nights on abc. we'll be right back with craig robinson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ a world without accidents. for the future: to get there, we're advancing safety technology. designed not only to automatically brake but also actively steer... ...this is the most sophisticated lexus safety system ever. and a preview of what's to come. experience driver-first innovation. experience amazing. eight hundred dollars when wet switched our auto and home insurance. with liberty, we could afford a real babysitter instead of your brother. hey. oh. that's my robe.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know our next guest from nbc's "the office," and such films as "hot tub time machine" and "this is the end." he stars in the new comedy series "ghosted", which premieres sunday night on fox. please welcome back to the show craig robinson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi, craig. >> hello. >> seth: you look fantastic. >> as do you, sir. >> seth: beautiful suit. >> thank you. >> seth: and you're looking very good, and i hear that you are actually -- you've changed your diet a little bit. >> a little bit. >> seth: you're almost vegan.
>> well -- i hate to just say, i'm vegan or almost vegan, because it's truly a lifestyle, but i have been exercising vegan options. >> seth: gotcha. >> i just -- so i just got to stop eating meat and dairy, but other than that. [ laughter ] >> seth: those are the two that are really -- get in your way? >> that's the only thing that's keeping me from -- >> seth: that's the last hurdle? >> i'm 90% there. [ laughter ] >> seth: those are the two they say, are the sticking points, for most people. >> exactly, exactly. >> seth: yeah. and when -- when your friends find out you're almost vegan, are they upset? >> oh, my god. some of them, but some people like -- you know, 'cause they just can't wrap their head around it. and i was like, two years ago, if you said, "let's go to a vegan restaurant", i would have been like, "why?" [ light laughter ] but now some of them had a right to be upset, because i am, you know, the guy at dinner like, "does it have dairy in it?" >> seth: oh, you're that guy? >> "was that made with animal products?" >> seth: you don't have to use that voice. you can do it in your regular voice. [ laughter ] i saw you at the emmys. i met -- you were with your
father at the emmys. >> you were so nice and gracious, thank you. >> seth: well, he was -- what a nice guy he was. and did you guys have fun? your whole family was with you. >> it was great. it was great. >> seth: were there people you were excited to meet or see? >> oh man, no -- so many, but de niro sat like two seats -- right in front of me two seats down and then a -- when they announced his name, like he was nominated, i said, "bobby d!" [ laughter ] and like, he slowly like looked like he just turned, and you know -- my de niro face. >> seth: that's a good de niro face. [ cheers and applause ] >> full disclosure, that part didn't happen. [ laughter ] >> seth: he didn't actually -- yeah. >> yeah, i just said bobby d., and nothing happened. >> seth: nothing happened. [ light laughter ] i want to talk about your show, "ghosted." you want to clarify, because people might hear the title and think it's about something else, but you want to clarify the premise.
>> this is not about going -- like dating somebody, and then just disappearing from their life. it's not that. it's really, you know, dealing with ghosts and it could be titled "vampire", "the monster" because it's all these different --. >> seth: it's sort of like a fun -- it's like a comedy "x-files", to some degree. >> comedic "x-files", exactly. it's mulder and scully and jokes. >> seth: and you have adam scott as either your mulder or scully. i'll let you guys sort it out. he's very -- he's an incredibly talented, really funny guy. and on the show, you sort of play the skeptic. >> yes. >> seth: he plays the believer. >> yes. >> seth: but in real life, it's the opposite. >> opposite, yes. he doesn't believe in anything and i -- [ laughter ] no, he doesn't believe in that stuff, and i just don't think we're alone here. >> seth: got you. so you think -- you believe in extraterrestrial stuff. do you believe in ghosts? >> all of that, yeah. >> seth: what's the thing that you're afraid of the most? is there something? >> afraid of? i don't deal with being afraid. >> seth: okay, that's good. that's nice.
because if i believed in that stuff, i think i'd be terrified. >> i mean i -- i'm a -- scary movies scare me. >> seth: oh, really? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, like later on after the fact. >> seth: uh-huh. >> like the first -- when i first moved to l.a., you know i was living alone and stuff, and i went to see "sixth sense" and "blair witch project", not knowing i was afraid of scary movies at this point. >> seth: gotcha. >> and then i went home, and i didn't know they were going to affect me and then, like, i heard something. and i said, "they're going to have to get me on the couch, because i'm not moving any more." [ light laughter ] >> seth: that was it. >> so then i haven't seen a scary movie since. >> seth: okay, that's good. >> i don't even like when they put the billboards up. remember the one with the doll recently? "annabelle" or something? >> seth: "annabelle," yeah. >> and you just driving -- ahh! [ laughter ] >> seth: there should -- you're right. there should be a billboard two blocks earlier saying, "if you don't like scary movies, make your next left." [ light laughter ] >> exactly. >> seth: you were at the def jam 25th anniversary show. >> yes. >> seth: and i was wondering because of that, you've obviously been doing a comedy a long time. do you remember when you first
started, do you remember like a first joke? >> oh, man, yes. [ light laughter ] you want to hear it? >> seth: yeah, please. [ cheers and applause ] >> are you sure? no -- very first joke i wrote was something like, "jesus must have been black because, you know, he must've hid all that fish and bread in his afro." [ light laughter ] so, there's a story about jesus with fish and bread multiplying. >> seth: yeah, but you thought he didn't actually multiply it. he hid it in his afro. >> yeah, he just had a bunch. >> seth: so you believe in e.t.'s, but not that jesus could make extra? [ laughter ] and were your parents supportive when you said i want to do comedy? >> no. [ light laughter ] you know, i was a school teacher. >> seth: yeah, i remember. >> i remember my father saying specifically, he's like, "you going to lose that good job." so i'm glad i didn't listen. >> seth: yeah. but, he must be happy now. he got to be at the emmys. are they very satisfied with how it turned out? >> they're happy. and my mother, she got to bring
it down a notch. she'll just be at the grocery store like, at the checkout, like, "my son's on 'office'." [ laughter ] ah, what? >> seth: well thanks so much for being here. it's always such a pleasure to see you. >> a pleasure, bro. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: craig robinson, everybody. "ghosted" is new, saturday night on fox. we'll be right back with julie klausner. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sir jeremy, you are a true friend of the crown. dilly, dilly. dilly dilly! madame susan, you are an even truer friend of the crown. dilly, dilly. dilly dilly! what is that? this is a spiced honey mead wine that i have really been into lately. please follow, sir brad. he's going to give you a private tour of the pit of misery. i'm sorry, what? pit of misery! dilly dilly! dilly dilly! here's to the friends you can always count on.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is creator and star of the very funny show "difficult people." the third season is now streaming on hulu. let's take a look. >> i know i should say something supportive, but what's to become of me, billy? i don't want to be the free radical of hags, floating around without a partner. think about all the terrible gays i could attract, as a new best friend. the guy that does autobiographical shows at piano bars. someone in fashion. >> what about me? what kind of nightmare hags in l.a. am i going to attract? a burlesque dancer. a groundling. >> i'm going to throw up. >> a groundling julie. >> i'm going to throw up! >> seth: please welcome back to the show, julie klausner,
everyone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hi, julie. >> hi, seth. >> seth: it's so wonderful to have you here. >> thanks for having me back. >> seth: i enjoy, that clip is sort of you two talking about a move to l.a. >> yes. >> seth: the difference between new york and l.a. i see you as very specifically a new yorker. >> yes. thank you, thank you. >> seth: you're very welcome. you were recently in amsterdam, though. my home away from home. >> you were there for three years? >> seth: yeah, about three years. and -- a little less. but you actually believe that's the other -- one other place you could live. >> i love amsterdam. i mean, don't you? >> seth: it's the best. >> it's like magical new york with canals instead of streets, and prostitutes instead of pigeons. [ laughter ] it's -- i mean, where else could you go to the red light district in the morning and the anne frank house in the afternoon? [ laughter ] >> seth: it is a nice -- it's a nice like, little of this,
little of that. >> i love it. i love bland food, so it's sort of my favorite place. you can have panakuchen and -- >> seth: panakuchen, for those who don't know, are giant pancakes. >> yes. and these are the only photos i took on my trip. they're just of food. they don't -- i mean, maybe you can't see how magical they are based on this photograph. and truth be told, they are just a pancake, but they are so much more. they are so completely delicious. >> seth: so much more. i've had a bunch of pancakes, i have never done this, was this in amsterdam? the cat museum? >> well there's a cat museum and then there's something called the ponza boot, which is a cat boat and it's basically an animal shelter on a boat. i spent about three minutes there, thought, "what am i doing with my time?" and then i went about the rest of my life. but, yeah, if you notice, there's cats up for adoption and some of them just hang out there. that's a -- seamus. >> seth: seamus? >> it's says, "don't stroke me, i might scratch you," which is classic seamus. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, that doesn't sound like a way to get adopted. i feel like seamus should be putting out a different vibe. >> i have a feeling that seamus
is like, the bouncer of the cat boat. but then, there's also, a cat museum. like, i go abroad and i don't go to -- i didn't go to the van gogh museum. >> seth: yeah. there are long lines. you don't have time for that. >> who has time for that? >> seth: you can walk right into the cat museum. [ light laughter ] >> no kidding. yeah, and there's like, paintings of cats. and museums have paintings of cats, but they have paintings of other things as well. >> seth: yeah. >> so they're better. >> seth: yeah. >> but -- >> seth: to be very specifically a cat museum, doesn't seem like a can't miss thing. >> it was a big waste of my time, seth. >> seth: yeah, there you go. [ light laughter ] i heard you also, while we're talking about boats, cats or otherwise. you went to the provincetown film festival. >> i did. >> seth: you had to take a ferry there. >> it was a nightmare. >> seth: you did not care for the ferry. >> i'm not great with motion sickness, and i'm also like a true die in the womb new yorker. like, i'm not a new englander like you. so, the idea of motion sickness on a ferry is terrifying. and then at one point, the boat stopped, we hit something and the captain came on. and i can't do the accent but he was like, "sorry everybody, we hit a lobster pot. don't worry, this happens all the time." >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> nothing about that was reassuring. also, i thought a lobster pot
was that thing in "annie hall." i really am a new york jew. [ light laughter ] like, i thought it was like a physical pot where you drop a lobster in. it's like a cage or something? >> seth: yeah, well you have to, catch the lobsters first, and then you put them in the other pot. >> hmm, sounds suspicious. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, it does. even as i said it, i'm like, "this is crazy. i'm making this up." >> they're indigenous to -- and we both know that, yeah. >> seth: so you filmed in l.a. >> yes, for the finale. >> seth: for the finale. >> billy and julie try to move out to l.a. we fail miserably. >> seth: this is -- well this is a good photo of how you would fair in l.a. >> yes, this is me with a terrible -- [ laughter ] this is me with a terrible sun burn on a hike, basically dressed up like meryl streep in "out of africa," yeah. >> seth: yeah, and is that runyon canyon? >> unfortunately, yes. runyon canyon is very popular in los angeles, even though it smells like dog [ bleep ] and it looks like a man's back hair pattern. [ light laughter ] like, you look around and there's these brown shrubs and this like, male like, hair --
body hair pattern, and you're just like waiting for the beauty of it. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, it's pretty ugly. >> seth: when i go out to l.a., people suggest it like, i'm going to jump at it as a thing to do. >> yeah, don't. >> seth: they'll say, "oh, you know, we should hike runyon." and i'm like, "i have -- so many other things would have to go wrong for me to want to do that." [ laughter ] >> oh, no question. it's direct sun exposure, and then people are like, "well you go and you make deals and you schmooze." i'm like, "you've just made it a thousand times worse." >> seth: yeah, that's not -- it's not relaxing to go on a hike and make deals. >> what the hell? no. >> seth: also, amy poehler, one of the producers of the show, she plays, what is she? >> she plays a doula with a specialty in eavesdropping. >> seth: oh, okay gotcha. >> so she overhears one of our conversations and comes in, gives us her business card, which is just a rock. >> seth: very well cast. very -- >> yeah, and her name is flute on the show, and she wanted a t-shirt that said something funny on it, so we wrote jill stein. just because we thought that she was the only one that was not giving up on that fight. and had absolutely no remorse about how the election turned out. like no self-awareness whatsoever. >> seth: yeah, still wearing -- still rocking the shirt. >> oh yeah. she's still a jill stein
enthusiast. >> seth: if you can find one, it would be on runyon canyon. absolutely. >> yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: thank you so much for being here. it was so great to see you, as always. >> thanks for having me he. >> seth: julie klausner, everybody. third season of "difficult people" is streaming in its entirety on hulu. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ work. school. i think it's time we mixed things up. ♪ oh yeah, in your face! and in conclusion, cats.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to sofia vergara, craig robinson, julie klausner, everybody! gregg bissonette, and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening, i'm carson daly. welcome to "last call" tonight. we've got another killer line-up for you, so let's kick things off right now with tonight's "last cal spotlight. v