tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC October 23, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am PDT
trick or treating. according to zillow. san francisco has five neighborhoods that are the best places to trick or treating in the entire country. >> this is good. >> presid owe heights sea cliff laurel heights golden gate heights. and the next best san jose. rose garden, west san jose, willow glen, came bree yan park. let's stick to san francisco and san jose. >> you cannot say no to a good k kitkat bar. >> thanks for joining us. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- clive owen, colleen ballinger,
musical guest julia michaels, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 759. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. [cheers and applause]. welcome, everybody. thank you so much. looking good. welcome everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the "tonight show." this is it, baby. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: this is it. we're going to have fun tonight.
here's what people are talking about. news out of washington, president trump announced that he's releasing thousands of files on jfk even though they were already set to be released, and he said not only that, i'm declaring october 31st "halloween." [ laughter ] [ applause ] we'll all be saying merry halloween again. this is kind of crazy. there was a conspiracy theory. did you see this going around that melania -- melania trump had been replaced with a body double. did you hear this? it's a rumor, but some people are pointing to these photos as proof. take a look, so the woman on the left they say is fake melania, and the woman on the right is real melania, but it didn't help that donald trump was saying -- well he said this while standing with her. watch. >> we will be doing that, my wife, melania who happens to be right here. [ laughter ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: why would you say that? >> steve: why would you say that? >> jimmy: why would anyone ever -- she happens to really be really
here, so it's not a hologram. it is a real person. a human being -- there's no way -- and now i'm going walk through her. i'm going to walk -- maybe -- do i have a twin, i don't know. [ light laughter ] it's like david copperfield walking thruough the great wall of china. [ cheers and applause ] she may be real. she may not be real. well the story turned out to be false, but there are other theories about people in the white house that are still being talked about. for instance, these are rumors. >> steve: rumors. >> jimmy: there's a rumor that attorney general jeff sessions is actually a gnome from the rose guardian that comes to life during the daytime. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: these are rumors. i don't know -- >> steve: rumors. that's not true, that's just a a rumor. >> jimmy: there's a rumor that senator mitch mcconnell was replaced by a sad fox. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: how could i prove it. >> steve: or disprove it. it's just a rumor. >> jimmy: it's a rumor. >> steve: it's just hearsay. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] finally, it is rumored that president trump's tie is actually just a fruit by the foot. >> steve: really.
>> jimmy: he eat his -- he can eat his tie. >> steve: it's longer -- >> jimmy: edible tie. happy hallo-istmas. [ laughter ] but this story really blew up, so we actually got in touch, "the tonight show," we got in touch with the real melania, and she agreed to talk to us tonight, right now to clear things up. melania are you there? >> hi, jimmy. yes. hi, yes. i am very happy to be here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, i've never met you before. i have to say you seem a little different. >> huh -- me? no i'm just old me. me melania -- me short for melania. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: me short -- me is short for melania. yeah, i know that. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: me -- are you melania, or are you a body double. >> i'm -- i'm a melania. >> jimmy: okay. okay, well just to make our audience comfortable, and prove that you are not a body double i'm going to ask you some questions that only the real melania would know. are you okay with that?
>> yeah. sure, yeah, definitely, i want to answer your questions, and i can. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that doesn't count as a question. you are already getting nervous. >> okay. >> jimmy: don't worry. first question. >> first of three? >> jimmy: i don't know how many. [ laughter ] >> how many questions. >> jimmy: i don't know -- first of -- i don't know how many questions. >> how many questions? okay. >> jimmy: all right. let's just start with the first one. >> okay fine. >> jimmy: first of three. i don't know. what is the name of the city where you were born. >> slo -- >> jimmy: slovakia. >> what did you say? did you say slovakia? >> jimmy: yes, is aid slovakia, but that's the country. >> that was the answer? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's no way of -- >> did you say that? >> jimmy: yeah, i did say that, but i asked you the question. >> oh you were wrong? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wasn't wrong but okay. let's just go to the next question. >> okay. okay, redo, redo.
redo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: melania where in the white house is the first lady's office. [ laughter ] >> it's in the attic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, now this is. i don't know. is there an -- >> there is an attic above the -- there's how many floors? >> jimmy: three, i have no -- >> yeah, three, i was going to say three, and three plus an attic. that's where they keep the woman. that's me. >> jimmy: the first lady. last question as first lady, what have you said are your three main goals? >> there are three? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. three. just three main goals. >> three main goals. >> jimmy: there are three -- >> not the side goals. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. just give me three of the main ones. >> oh yeah, three of the main ones. sure, sure, okay, i thought -- bullying. uh, stop it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, okay. thank you melania. >> sugar. keep eating it. >> jimmy: your goal is to keep eating sugar? >> yeah no, and make sure you remember, um friendship is real. >> okay. thank you very much. melania, the real melania.
friendship is real. [ cheers and applause ] oh yeah, there you go. your glasses. doesn't even know how to put on glasses. okay. very good. oh my gosh. thank you. what? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: did you guys see this? i saw that cnn released a new ad today where they use fruit to say how they stick to the facts, and the president doesn't. did you see this? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: with the apple vote -- check it out if you didn't see it. >> this is an apple. some people might try to tell you that it's a banana. they might scream banana, banana, banana over, and over, and over again, but it's not. this is an apple. ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well president trump actually released his own response to the ad. [ laughter ] take a look at this. >> this is a kumquat. it is a very odd name for a a fruit isn't it? mike pence once told me never
say kumquat in front of his wife. wait never mind. it's a banana. fake fruit. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fake fruit? >> steve: fake fruit? >> jimmy: what is he talking about? >> steve: walnut. >> jimmy: i want to say congratulations to the john stamos who just got engaged to his girlfriend. hey john, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. she's just 31, and he's somehow still 31. [ laughter ] he just doesn't -- the guy cant age. he looks fantastic. that's right. john stamos is getting married. i heard he's got a pretty good wedding d.j. d.j. tanner. >> steve: oh, hey, hey. ho. hey. >> jimmy: guys, i saw that "boo 2! a madea halloween" finished first at the box office this weekend. that's right. tyler perry's really busy these days because he's also melania trump's body double. >> steve: really? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: check this out you guys. developers are working on a a hyper loop that could get you
from washington d.c. to new york city in just 29 minutes. [ audience ohs ] and once you are here you can take a subway from penn station to time square in just four hours. >> steve: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is pretty weird. i heard that people in hawaii are stealing cans of spam, and reselling them. so if you think you're having a a rough day, imagine being the guy waiting on the corner for his spam dealer. [ laughter ] where is this guy? come on. where is this guy? come on, get here man. [ applause ] and finally, i read that a a couple in orlando who ordered plastic storage bins on amazon got a delivery filled with 65 pounds of weed. they were like wow amazon prime is even better than we thought. there we go. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you guys. looking good. looking good. i missed you guys. >> steve: wow! thank you! >> jimmy: welcome back! it is monday! we're very excited to be back. we have a huge week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, ricky gervais will be here. we love ricky. [ applause ] we're going head to head in the "face it" challenge. this new thing we came up with, and later this week. jessica alba will be here. kelly ripa will be here. dennis leary will be joining us. >> steve: whoah. >> jimmy: and we're going to close out the week with a a performance by 2 chainz featuring travis scott. it's been going to be good week. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you for watching, but first, we have a great show tonight. he's a fantastic actor who's returning to broadway in the revival of "m. butterfly." clive owen is dropping by. [cheers and applause]. he's a stud. plus, she's super funny, and back with season two of "haters back off" on netflix. colleen ballinger is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] miranda sings, colleen ballinger. >> steve: come on.
>> jimmy: and joining us tonight for some talk, and performance of her new single, julia michaels is here, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause]. "nervous system." "nervous system." i want to say a quick thank you to everyone who went out, and bought my new children's book "everything is mama." [ cheers and applause ] it's a very long book. >> steve: very long -- >> jimmy: very very long. i don't want to give away the ending, but if you get to page 6 you are getting there. yeah, but i'm so excited about this, and we talked about it on the show, and went on different shows. anyways, we ended up on the "new york times" best seller list. number -- number one. [ cheers and applause ]. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: hey. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: number one. ♪ thank you so much for that. i really, really appreciate it. and i actually really want to say thank you to the original mama. my mama. my mom. i love you so much.
my mom got me into the whole business, the whole comedy and everything. so without my mom i wouldn't even be able to have the show, or do "saturday night live," or do movies, meet my wife, have two beautiful -- i mean i owe my mom a lot. i love you mom. so much. she came, and she heard about an impression contest on the radio, and came out, and said, "you should do this contest, because i hear you do all these voices in your bedroom," and i was like -- [ laughter ] >> steve: -- context. [ talking over each other ] the voices. >> jimmy: more than one. more than one voice. i go what else do you hear in my bedroom. let's just not get into it. [ laughter ] entered the contest. and i won. and so because of that i just stuck with it. and i just -- i don't know, my advice is if your mom is out there. just call your mom right now. when we go to commercial. tell her you love her. tell her you love her.
wake her up. what's she going to do? get mad? >> steve: guess what? she's not going to get mad. >> jimmy: she won't. she'll love it. just say, hey i love you so much. jimmy fallon told me to tell you that. listen to local -- and it's good that your mom listens to local radio stations. so listen to your local radio stations, and love your mom. i love you so much mom. so proud that you're my mother. thank you. [ applause ] let's play a game. guys it's time for bad signs. here we go. ♪ ♪ bad signs [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: bad signs is filmed before a live studio audience. >> jimmy: these are -- [ laughter ] quest don't encourage him, man. these are all real pictures of funny signs that you guys saw in a store. weird signs you saw while driving around. whatever, you took a photo of it, and sent it into us. again, these are all 100% real signs.
they're ridiculous signs. the first bad sign was sent in by eddie she in greensboro, north carolina. he spotted it outside of a a school. it says bolton academy, a grate place to learn. [ cheers and applause ] maybe mathematics -- their lead in mathematics is very big. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: they're very good -- >> steve: could have been a a heating and cooling place. [ light laughter ] for grates. >> jimmy: maybe they are in a a culinary school. >> steve: there you go with cheese, cheese grater. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this next sign was sent in by david segal in albany, new york. i went to college -- >> steve: did you really? >> jimmy: college, st. rhodes in albany, new york. >> steve: wow. fantastic. >> jimmy: four years. [ light laughter ] someone was throwing a benefit cookout. >> steve: oh great. >> jimmy: yeah, let's see what they were serving here. hamburgers. hot dogs. nachos. add chile and cheese for just 75 cents. sounds good, and let's see what it's for. the american heart association. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i get it. i get it. oh i get it. >> steve: oh i got it. >> jimmy: yeah i got it all right.
this next sign was sent in by lalita ankem in silver spring, maryland. she spotted it while out for a a walk. it says, "please try to walk without walking." [ laughter ] >> steve: what. >> jimmy: what? what dude. that is so cool, man. think without thinking. this next one here was sent in by tim rondo in alberta cananda. any canadians out there? [ cheers and applause ]. we allow four every show. [ laughter ] >> steve: yes, can't get over the wall. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he spotted it outside -- he spotted it outside a car wash. >> steve: a car wash. >> jimmy: yeah, it says -- look at this. bubble's car wash. now new owners. scott is gone. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: i'm not going. >> jimmy: scott is out of here! and you know it scott. rub it in a little bit. [ laughter ] >> steve: get out of here scott.
>> jimmy: get a job buddy! >> steve: hard work with you guys. respect. >> jimmy: next sign was sent in by aleeyah aroon-a-salam in apple valley california, it's a a parking sign they saw on campus. this is great -- it says, "attention, faculty, staff, affiliate, commuter, student, and visitor parking only. [ applause ] who can't park there? isn't that a better sign? >> steve: wait, can i park here? yeah. >> jimmy: everyone can almost park there. that's a terrible sign. >> steve: scott. >> jimmy: this next -- i'll tell you who can't park there. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you can't park here scott! >> steve: get out of here scott. >> jimmy: shut up man! whoah, whoah! [ laughter ] this next one was sent in by kim barker in columbus, ohio. she saw this in a restroom -- >> steve: in a restroom? >> jimmy: do not dispose of anything except toilet paper in the commode. please, someone flushed a wig
and flooded the basement. don't be that person. [ cheers and applause ] don't be that person. >> steve: don't be that guy. scott. >> jimmy: how am i supposed to get rid of my wig in a public restroom. >> steve: oh i got to throw away this wig. maybe they won't know that it's me scott coming into -- >> jimmy: scott, get out of here! finally the last sign was sent in by peggy glover in hales corners wisconsin. she spotted it in someone's yard. it says, "man sale." there you go. great way to nab a husband there. that's all the time we have for bad signs! if you see a funny bad sign. e-mail it to us in firstname.lastname@example.org. we might put it on the show. stick around. we'll be right back with clive owen ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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search for a missing boater in the morning. justin greer )s boat was found adrift in bodega bay monday. that story is on our website. and the f-a-a is investigating radio problems on board an air canada jet. pilots failed to respond to air traffic control as they flew from montreal to s-f-o on sunday. we )re tweeting the latest. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
the cort theater. beautiful theater -- everyone, please welcome clive owen! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you for being here. >> first things first. first things first. you just met hannah, your number one fan, my daughter. >> jimmy: i love hannah. >> she's come out -- moved to new york for the opening of the show. >> jimmy: yeah. >> now, she apparently knew you were pickling things. is this true? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you like to pickle. >> jimmy: this is my new thing. >> so she gets -- she arrives at jfk. she's going through and they pull her into a side room. and she's a bit freaked out. she walks in and they got signs saying agriculture thing, watch what you are bringing in and everything. and they say, "food stuffs in your bag. what have you got?" she was bringing come special honey they i love from poland
in. and she says "well -- oh there is some honey." "yeah. what else?" she's like, "nothing." and they were like, "you're telling us you have nothing other food stuffs in your bag?" >> jimmy: throwing her up against the wall. >> and she went, "oh my god. jimmy's pickles." >> jimmy: she brought you some english pickled onions. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter and applause ] i love -- is that her? i love her. [ laughter and applause ] >> nearly got arrested for it. >> jimmy: you nearly got arrested for these? i'm going to enjoy these. i'll send you a picture of me eating these. oh, i love her. thank you for almost doing that. she's the greatest. how are you pal? >> yeah, very good. >> jimmy: always great to see you. i'm excited about this play. this is going to be a giant thing. this thursday is the premiere. >> yeah. the opening night, yeah -- >> jimmy: i love you from, of course, "vroom." >> you've never seen "vroom." don't lie. >> jimmy: oh yeah, "vroom." [ laughter ] remember, you were in a film called "vroom." >> i do remember. my first ever film. >> jimmy: yeah.
>> a long time ago. you've never seen that film. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i've unfortunately never seen "vroom." but i'm getting around to it. i really -- it looks cute. what was the -- what's the plot of this movie? it was supposed to -- jimmy: can i guess? >> it was my first ever movie. >> jimmy: you are a man who can fly. [ light laughter ] >> well no. actually, there is a car that flies. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: alright, see this is a good film. >> the film ends with the car flying. i love that. >> jimmy: are you in "grease?" wait, so you -- wait, so you fall in love with a girl. and your love takes the car. >> it's all about two guys building an american car secretly and becomes a full of sort of rogue movie with a very ending where the car flies. >> jimmy: really? >> it's a wild film. see, you might enjoy it. >> jimmy: i love everything you are in. you know that. i love you, man. [ light laughter ] but i thought it would be fun to bring up "vroom." and see if you have any memories of the auditioning for "vroom." >> no. the strongest memory was it was a rogue movie. and at the time, i couldn't
drive. and no one me if i could so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you couldn't drive in the movie "vroom?" >> yeah. i agreed to do the movie. and the first -- the first time i had to do any driving i go, "you know i have no license." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you and your daughter are going to get arrested. you can't drive, bringing pickled goods to the states. no way. you got away with it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> i took lessons while i was shooting. >> jimmy: that is so cool. see, that's how good of an actor -- did you ever lie for a a role before? >> yeah, i mean, it is a a classic thing actors do all the time. i've done it for horse riding as well. i had an absolute nightmare. because, whenever anybody ask you questions like, "can you horse ride" you say, "yes." >> jimmy: of course. >> you are not going to say, "oh -- >> jimmy: get a different person. yeah. >> so -- i think scott just got fired from bubble's carwash. he can do it. [ light laughter ] >> so yeah -- i had an absolute horrific experience. i came over here to a tv pilot. and i couldn't ride. and the horses they were using were like these thoroughbreds. >> jimmy: i don't know how to ride horses. they're giant. >> and totally humiliated in
the end. but i eventually learned. >> jimmy: how did they teach you? how did you learn? >> well, i had two experiences actually, really bad ones where i couldn't ride. and then i got the part of king arthur. and -- [ laughter ] by now everyone knows. >> jimmy: you are awesome. i can't believe this. you don't know how to drive, yet you star in "vroom." and then, don't know how to ride a horse, you're king arthur. >> so i think the deal was about six months before we started shooting, first call i made was, i have to get on a a horse. tomorrow, yeah. >> jimmy: how -- i guess you just do it. >> so i learned. put me with a brilliant horse stunt guy and we started with a a very solid dependable thing and worked my way up to the spanish thoroughbred. >> jimmy: you were king arthur, you rode a donkey the whole film. >> no. [ laughter ] not in the film. >> jimmy: "here we go, everybody. we're going to fight for the round table." i want to talk about -- let's talk about "m butterfly." what can we really say? i will say this it is a a revival. but this is -- it's a new version. >> a new version, yeah.
it was a huge hit 30 years ago. it is an incredible story. i mean, it's hard to talk about wouldn't giving it away. but it is about a 20 year relationship that a french diplomat has with a beautiful chinese opera singer. and everything isn't what it seems. it is sort of -- it is full of betrayal and intrigue. and the actual relationship, i promise you is probably one of the most amazing things i've ever read about a couple. there's big twists at the end. it deals with gender. it deals with relationships between the east and the west. and it is really extraordinary. and when the play was done originally, it was on the back of "new york times" article. but since then, there is amazing information come about the real couple which have sort of -- david's readdressed and sort of brought into the play. >> jimmy: and julie taymor. >> julie, yeah phenomenal director. >> jimmy: she's unbelievable. "lion king." >> it's hugely -- kind of visual piece and she is just the perfect person to bring this to life. >> jimmy: not a spoiler but in the play you actually, i was
impressed. you tie a bow tie. >> i do. >> jimmy: without looking in a a mirror or -- >> well i -- i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there is no youtube video or anything. [ light laughter ] >> i have to be honest. >> jimmy: i don't know how in the heck you did this. >> i have to be honest. when we were in rehearsal, i was going to use a clip on. and the writer said very disparagingly, "like everyone who's ever played it has always tied a real one." >> jimmy: oh really? now you got to prove yourself to this guy. i don't want to get nervous. i mean if someone pulled a bow tie out on national television. [ cheers and applause ] just saying. no pressure. no pressure. come on. i want to see how you do this. because -- a little bow tying music please. >> in the play, i put it on and take it off without ever seeing it. so i never know if it's ever good or not. >> jimmy: okay. i'll be the judge of this. >> oh god, the pressure is on. >> jimmy: here we go. >> here we go. >> jimmy: alright, very nice. everything going well -- just going to try to distract you --
>> well -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: just distract you right here. there is no monitors or anything. don't look at anything. >> i'm not looking at any monitors. >> jimmy: look at this. look at this. yeah he knows what's up. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, look at this guy. does he know how to do it? or does he know how to do it? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you are a stud, man. i love you so much. and i love hannah, too. thank you so much. clive owen everybody! "m butterfly" is currently in previews opens on broadway this thursday at the cort theater. colleen ballinger joins us after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ simon and garfunkel ]
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her youtube videos have over two billion views. two billion views. [ cheers and applause ] and season 2 of "haters back off" is streaming now on netflix. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome colleen ballinger. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. you got to feel loved. welcome back. thank you for coming back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations. obviously, i love that miranda is such a character and it's so unlike you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: because, uh. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean i love her, as well. but i just love -- >> she loves you. >> jimmy: she does? okay, good. >> she loves you. >> jimmy: okay, thank you. >> she wants to be with you, i think. >> jimmy: oh she does? oh well that's so -- i love that, i love that. how did you come up with this character? how does it come about? >> i was just goofing around in college.
and i was kind of -- i was imitating girls that i went to school with. and it was totally an inside joke. i know, that sounds mean. and it is. [ laughter ] i was -- there were these girls i went to school with who were just kind of snooty and rude. and in -- they're in my vocal performance classes, you know? they were like section leaders and stuff. and they would be like, "if you want to sing high you have to lift your eyebrows really high." "if want sing low you have to lift your head back." like they give the worst advice. and they thought they were so good. so i made these videos just kind of poking fun at them. and posted them for my friends. i thought no one would ever see them. and now a lot of people have seen them. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, could you imagine two billion? >> yeah, it's scary.
that's lot of people. >> jimmy: yeah, i know that's a a really lot of people. but i mean, i guess first time you put up people didn't know it was a character or -- >> no, people hated me. and maybe they still do but they like -- [ laughter ] that was all i got in the beginning was hate. people just despised miranda. and i thought it was so funny. because when i started the character 10 years ago the internet was kind of new and youtube was a new thing. so, to get hate mail. i was like, "who are these people who are just watching my videos and writing rude comments?" like they're -- they must be so bored. like, what are they doing? so, i would egg it on. so in each video if they said they didn't like my lipstick, i would make it bigger. [ light laughter ] if they didn't like the way i was talking i would talk weirder. so, the haters kind of created the weird character. because whatever they hated, i did it more. >> jimmy: thank you haters. [ applause ] thank you haters. halloween is coming up. >> yes. >> jimmy: a lot of people are going to go as miranda. are you -- >> yes. >> jimmy: would you ever do that? would you ever go to a party as miranda or -- >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: probably, too weird, right? cause that's your thing. >> no, no, but something so crazy happened this year. so, every year like my fans love to dress up like miranda but this year there was a knock off costume of my costume. >> jimmy: yeah, i saw that. >> yeah, you did? yeah. it was crazy. and it was called like -- there were two versions. there was she sings costume. because they couldn't say miranda. and there was child she sings. and it's the worst knock off of my costume. but it just sounds so lazy, to me. it's like they were in a a meeting and they were like,
"this is a girl and it's a a child and she sings." "yeah, let's call it that." you know, like, it's just the laziest thing. >> jimmy: well legally we're not allowed to say miranda sings. >> miranda. so let's just call it -- >> jimmy: yeah, of course. we can't even say colleen ballinger. >> super lazy -- >> jimmy: "she sings?" "yeah, great idea, larry." "perfect. yeah. meeting adjourned." i was looking at the costume. i got to say. >> it's so bad. >> jimmy: this makes me laugh because -- this is not really -- [ laughter ] >> it's so bad and the pants aren't included. so it is literally a purple shirt. like, you are paying for a a purple shirt. >> jimmy: wait, the pants aren't even included? >> no, the pants aren't included and if you look it is out of stock. it's sold out! it's sold out of a purple shirt. [ laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: how are they getting away with that? >> if you want to go as child she sings -- you can't. it's sold out. >> jimmy: so bizarre. but i mean, the thing about this any girl could probably dress up as you just in the clothes they have at their house. >> yes, very true. yes. >> jimmy: it's a tee shirt, it's sweat pants and it's lipstick. >> right. correct. yeah. or you can get it online for $20. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true, yeah. [ laughter ] and make a lot of money for she things.
>> jimmy: what do we have to expect from season two? season one well -- it ended with just all sorts of the trouble. >> yeah, yeah, so. so miranda kind of left her life in a mess in season one. so season two, she has to put all the pieces back together. >> jimmy: family. >> everything was just a mess. so, miranda has to pick up the pieces. so in season two you will see a a lot of crazy things. i eat a lot of gross things in season two. i'm scarred by the memory of all the gross things i ate. >> jimmy: why does she eat all these weird things? >> miranda just loves to eat. the girl loves eating. i don't know. but i always forget when you are on set you have to eat like fifty of the things that you wrote in the script. so -- >> jimmy: for different takes. >> so, like, if i'm eating a a the popsicle. i'm eating fifty popsicles. if i'm, you know -- >> jimmy: that has to go in the guinness book there. just like, "hey, you did it?" i will say this. i've seen videos of not only your tour and your concert. but cause you're on stage like an hour and a half. but also the reaction from your fans are so -- so moving. that when people come up to you and they like, tell you that it is just good to see a girl be awkward and like, be different. and just like weird or
whatever. and how they relate to it. it is pretty cool that you are doing what you are doing. i think it is awesome. >> aw thank you. yeah, oh thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to do a clip. of the -- here's colleen ballinger in "haters back off" season two. take a look at this. >> oh, hi. >> are you -- >> yes, it's me, miranda. >> ready to order? >> he's nervous. that's so cute. first time with a celebrity. so don't worry i'm just a a regular person just like you. is that better? >> we are here to collect the money that you owe my client. >> mm-hmm. >> uh, what? >> okay, i think i know the problem. he doesn't recognize me. get ready to have your mind blown. ♪ ♪ it's me >> it's her. miranda sings ♪ >> it is her. >> from youtube the famous celebrity, here in your store.
>> i don't know who you are. >> what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: celebity, i like that. colleen ballinger. she's has new "haters back off" streaming now on netflix. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with julia michaels, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body no two of us are alike. life made more effortless through adaptability. the perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. ♪
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that one. this. that one. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest made her television debut on our show back in march, with her break out single "issues." which has streamed nearly one billion times. and is the top selling song by a new artist in 2017. to close the show tonight. she's performing her new single off her debut album "nervous system." say hello to julia michaels,
ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ come on, pal. thank you so much for coming on the show. thank you for sitting down and talking to me. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i mean, look you are on the cover of "billboard" right here. not a bad -- not a bad crowd there. [ cheers and applause ] i have to -- i want to know who are you? where did you come from? because no -- i -- i love your voice. i could listen to you -- your songs. for, i'm just streaming it in my head, forever. i just -- you started as a song writer, though, right? >> yes, i did. i started writing songs for television and film. and then i started writing for other artists. >> jimmy: so how do you just -- what do you mean you just started writing for tv and film? we can't --
no one can do that. i mean, i can't, and i mean, i work in tv. i can't write songs for tv. but i mean, you just, you just -- like, you've written -- you wrote "sorry" right? for justin bieber. >> i did. >> jimmy: yeah, a little song. that's a major -- [ cheers and applause ] please, dude. but you write -- you've written for -- for kelly clarkson. selena gomez. ed sheeran. all these people, does any one make you star struck? did you freak out? did you meet these people? did you work with them? >> yes. the only time i ever truly get star struck is when i hear them on the mic for the first time. when i'm in the studio with someone, we're all human. we all cry the same, we bleed the same. and then i hear, you know, gwen stefani on the mic and i'm like, "oh my god. [ light laughter ] that's gwen." >> jimmy: that's gwen, yeah i know. but then you have issues -- i mean no, you don't have issues. but i mean you have -- >> i mean i do trust me. >> jimmy: yeah, no, you do yeah, but -- >> i do. >> jimmy: sorry, i'm meant the first one -- i didn't mean to do that one. [ light laughter ] but you have this song. and you go i'm not giving this one away. this one i feel like i want to do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, what -- why?
why didn't you do all of them? why didn't you do "sorry?" >> it just wasn't my time. wasn't my time. i'm very nervous person. and i've never really been much of a confident person. and i think it took a song like "issues" for me to realize that it was something that i wanted and something i suppressed because i'm so fearful of it. >> jimmy: wow. but now you have an album out. i mean you're nominated for all these awards. i mean, i'm so -- i'm psyched for you. and big fan. >> this was my first -- my first tv performance in march. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, i was -- >> jimmy: you were. >> i mean, i was -- >> jimmy: you were nervous. you were terrified? [ laughter ] you nailed it but that is the fun of doing these shows. is i can look -- >> my hands are sweating right now. they are very damp. i wouldn't do this if i were you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do it. do it. come on. we're buddies for life. oh yeah. [ laughter and applause ] buddies for life, pal. what song are you doing tonight for us? >> i'm going to sing a song off
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>> jimmy: performing "worst in me" off her mini album "nervous system", once again julia michaels everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh when i used to be happy for you you could go out ♪ ♪ with your female friends and i'd be totally fine remember when you used ♪ ♪ to be happy for me you celebrate all my success ♪ ♪ without crossing a line now it's like we're scared of getting good ♪ ♪ we know the truth is that we could yeah we know ♪ ♪ that we might actually work and the truth is ♪ ♪ that we could it's the worst in me
that's bringing out ♪ ♪ the worst in you i know we can fix these kinks ♪ ♪ but the worst in me doesn't want to work on things ♪ ♪ the best of me wants to love you but the worst in me ♪ ♪ doesn't want to ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ ♪ ah ah ah ah ah it's almost like i've gotten so used ♪ ♪ to resentment that every annoying little thing ♪ ♪ you say has lost its effect it's almost like ♪ ♪ it's made you a little bit bitter when i don't always react ♪ ♪ the way you expect it's like we're scared of getting good ♪ ♪ 'cause we know the truth is that we could yeah we know ♪ ♪ that we might actually work and the truth is ♪ ♪ that we could
but maybe it's the worst in me ♪ ♪ that's bringing out the worst in you i know we can fix ♪ ♪ these kinks but the worst in me doesn't want to ♪ ♪ work on things but the best of me wants to love you ♪ ♪ but the worst in me doesn't want to i won't hurt you again ♪ ♪ if you won't if you won't but baby i won't ♪ ♪ lose you again if you won't ♪ ♪ remember when i used to be happy for you but maybe it's ♪ ♪ the worst in me that's bringing out the worst in you ♪ ♪ i know we can fix these kinks but the worst in me ♪ ♪ doesn't want to work on things but the best of me ♪ ♪ wants to love you
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to clive owen, colleen ballinger, julia michaels once again. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night" with seth meyers. thank you for watching, have a a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- mariska hargitay. from "the exorcist," actor john cho. music from zz ward featuring fantastic negrito. featuring the 8g band with sonny emory. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case let's get to the news. all five living former presidents attended a benefit concert in texas on saturday to help raise money for hurricane victims. the only way it could have been better is if there had been six former presis.