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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 25, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

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shall we talk about our weather tomorrow morning? >> why not. >> mostly clear, 50s and 60s to start. you can see by the afternoon still warm inland, 89. biggest change on sunday, 76. maybe rain next friday and saturday. >> the weekend is almost here. thanks for joining us. have a great day tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jessica alba -- j.b. smoove --
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halloween science experiments with kevin delaney and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 671. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] sit down, enjoy yourselves. enjoy yourselves. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show," baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. you're here. you made it. thank you very much. here's what people are talking about. well, it's still this speech
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senator jeff flake gave about trump yesterday. yep, he criticized trump for 20 minutes without mentioning him by name, but i think people knew what he meant when he kept referring to tweety mctweetface. [ laughter ] tweety mctweet -- trump was tweeting again today. he said that his big meeting with republican senators was a a love fest with multiple standing ovations. yep, they were mostly people getting up to leave, but still, that counts as standing ovation. [ applause ] >> steve: standing. >> jimmy: trump sent three tweets about how the senators gave him a standing ovation. it's a big deal for trump. he hasn't seen 50 people cheering him on since his inauguration. [ applause ] but today, when he was talking to reporters, trump said that he has one of the greatest memories of all time. and trump said, "and if you don't believe, ask my sons derek and ron junior." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "and my daughter, girl donald." [ laughter ] girl donald?
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that's not a -- what? i don't know. >> steve: what? girl donald? >> jimmy: that's not a name. trump also spent a few minutes talking about how he's portrayed in the media. listen to what he says. >> well, i think the press makes me more uncivil than i am. you know, people don't understand, i went to an ivy league college. i was a nice student. i did very well. i'm a very intelligent person. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, nothing says "i'm smart" better than shouting it on your front lawn. "i'm very smart. [ applause ] you, kid on the bike, i'm smart." okay, we're good, we're good. [ laughter ] get this. i read that president trump wanted to change the name of a a mountain in alaska, but the state senators said no. yeah, it turns out that trump has a lot of other famous landmarks he's offered to rename as well. i'll show you what i mean. for example, trump offered to rename the grand canyon the bigly hole.
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[ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: next up, trump offered to rename the liberty bell, the taco bell monument. [ laughter ] quiero. and finally, trump offered to rename the u.s. capitol building the huge boob. and you go -- [ laughter ] what are you doing -- >> steve: really? >> jimmy: they're not going to work. don't worry about it. and we all know halloween is right around the corner and many people still haven't picked out their costumes, so here with a few suggestions is our own "tonight show" halloween correspondent, julio torres ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great crowd, julio torres. >> hi, hi, hello, and boo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: julio, i understand you have ideas for some last-minute halloween costumes? >> yes, correct. if you're struggling to find a a costume, how about something easy like -- like the lost city of atlantis. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that sounds like more of a concept.
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how about something like a -- like a ghost, like a ghost. >> oh, sure, sure, sure. how about a ferrero rocher chocolate. [ laughter ] or -- or an e-mail forward from your dad. [ laughter ] or a raccoon foolishly wearing all the diamonds he stole. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? >> wait, wait, wait, wait. okay, how about a cashier from chipotle catching you putting soda in the water cup and going, "you lied to me." [ applause ] >> jimmy: what about costumes for people are more familiar with. like, how about a dracula or "deadpool"? >> who? >> jimmy: dracula, "deadpool"? >> you could also be a turtle who just told off another turtle and now it has to turn away and storm off very slowly. [ laughter ] or a statue who came to life
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but now has a job and a family and misses the simple days of just being admired. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: julio, i have to say, i love these costumes. they all seem pretty high-concept. is there something you can recommend that's a little simpler for people who aren't as creative. >> well, you can always be the tooth fairy being like, "dear god, i can't afford to buy more teeth. what do i even do with these?" [ laughter ] or -- or how about st. peter welcoming someone who was anti-immigration to heaven and being, like, "oh no, you forgot the forms, now you have to wait in line, i'm sorry, rules are rules." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: julio, what about something super simple. >> yeah, i mean, i'm personally torn between being a secret or a rumor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i meant like a a football player or something. >> what? but i'm -- i'm not a football player. like, would i have to, like, put on a bunch of weight? that's -- that's insane.
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>> jimmy: that's insane? >> season six of "one tree hill." [ laughter ] or -- or a telegram that never arrived that would have made all the difference. [ laughter ] or -- or, wait, wait, how about a nice green tea from starbucks that was supposed to be unsweetened but it's sweetened so now it's up for grabs if anyone wants it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anyone could take -- >> i mean, you can always go as maybe like a flamingo that's like, you know what? i'm just going to use both legs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate that. >> yeah, i mean, those are my suggestions. enjoy being a football player. >> jimmy: julio torres, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] it's up for grabs. my neck hurts -- my neck hurts from laughing. oh, my goodness.
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good suggestions right there. julio torres once again. how great is that. [ cheers and applause ] oh, check this out, guys, i saw that one of albert einstein's notes about his theory for a a happy life sold at auction for $1.5 million. [ audience ohs ] $1.5 million. it got awkward when the buyer read the note and it said, "money can't buy happiness." [ cheers and applause ] and finally, i read that there are some new airport security measures starting this week and airlines can conduct short interviews with passengers. most airlines will ask the purpose of your trip, while spirit airlines will ask if you know how to land a plane. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: oh, very nice, thank you, roots. we have a huge show tonight. she's a great actress and the founder of the honest company and honest beauty, jessica alba is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] she's so cool. yeah, we love her. plus, oh my goodness, we love this guy, he is -- you know him from "curb your enthusiasm." he's the author of "the book of leon: philosophy of a fool," the hilarious j.b. smoove is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: funniest dude around. >> jimmy: he's got blurbs on the back from -- shakespeare and einstein. jessica, j.b. -- jessica, j.b. -- you know j.b. for -- >> steve: i know j.b. for years. he's the funniest dude in the world. next to you. [ laughter ] i mean, you're the funniest dude in the world. he's number two -- >> jimmy: all right, calm down, calm down. all good bud. [ laughter ] somebody -- somebody fire him. [ laughter ]
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jessica, j.b., and i are playing catchphrase later on. you don't want to miss that. [ cheers and applause ] oh, this is great. this is really awesome. i'm excited about this. our resident science expert kevin delaney is here to tell us about his second season of his show, "street science," and then he brought some fun halloween-themed science experiments to show us. [ audience oohs ] i mean, yeah. oh, yeah. we're going to blow something up. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, it's so fun. it's so fun. guys, it is time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for pros and cons. here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of choosing a halloween costume. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: halloween's coming up and everyone is scrambling to find the perfect costume. let's take a look at the pros and cons of choosing a a halloween costume. here we go. pro, spending a few hours at a a costume party. con, spending a few days untagging yourself from every picture on facebook. [ laughter and applause ] i was never there.
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>> steve: nope, nope. >> jimmy: pro, it's a chance to put on clothes you'll never wear again and pretend to be someone you aren't. con, also known as dating. oh yeah. [ applause ] pro, dressing up as sexy mike pence. [ laughter ] con, the costume's just a suit with one button undone. oh, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] pro, buying your kid a costume at cvs. con, using the receipt to dress your other kid as a mummy. there you -- how long is this? [ laughter ] pro, spending hours trying to make your own diy super hero costume. con, giving up and going as scarred by hot glue gone man. [ laughter ] rolls off the tongue. and finally, pro, coming up with the group costume idea for you and your friends. con, realizing you don't have enough people to be trump's fired cabinet members. there you go, everybody. that's the pros and cons. we'll be right back with jessica alba! [ cheers and applause ]
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moto is here. the new moto z with moto mods. get $200 off a moto z2 force edition and free projector mod. offering a five-thousand dollar reward for anyone who can help find the two men who beat a dog to death with a baseball bat in fairfield. that story is on our twitter feed. and on our homepage: kaiser permanente reopened its hospital in santa rosa. the hospital was forced to evacuate as the firestorm closed in. 200 staff members lost their homes to the fire. more news in one hour.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a very talented actress, a a best-selling author and founder of the very successful companies, the honest company and honest beauty. everyone please welcome, jessica alba! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: jessica. >> hi. >> jimmy: so cute! oh my gosh, welcome back. you look beautiful. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and congratulations again. oh my gosh. >> thanks. [ cheers and applause ] the bump is -- >> jimmy: isn't that -- that's so beautiful. now, last time i was trying to come up with names for the baby, do you remember that? >> yes, i do remember that. >> jimmy: because you have two babies now. are they still -- >> yes, they're 9 and 6. >> jimmy: sorry. anyways, i still got to send a a present.
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>> they're my babies. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but their names are -- >> honor and haven. >> jimmy: honor and haven, so they start with an "h." >> "h" and they're words as well. >> jimmy: and they're words. >> and my husband's name is "cash" so his name is also a a word. >> jimmy: okay. oh, see, i didn't know that when i was naming -- >> so it needs to be like a a word. >> jimmy: an "h" and then start with the letter "h." 'cause his last name is warren? >> warren. >> jimmy: yeah, warren. so i went with hermit, right? [ light laughter ] i was going to say kermit, but i didn't know there was a "h," so i said "change it to hermit." but hermit warren sounds like a a cool author or something. [ laughter ] all right, wait, wait, wait. what was my other one i had? hardy, hale -- hale and hardy? [ laughter ] hale and hardy warren and then i had wee willie warren. [ light laughter ] i thought that would be really cute. >> that's terrible. >> jimmy: all right, well -- no, it's not, but i mean, these are just suggestions. >> wee willie? >> jimmy: wee willie warren, is like something -- a cool dj. wee willie warren! [ laughter ] [ mimics dj ] yeah. see what i'm saying? >> so, i mean, based off of the theme, i haven't really
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revealed a gender, but i'm having a boy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow, thank you. i didn't know that. >> you keep like, saying the boy names. >> jimmy: i know i'm -- i'm so sorry. i keep -- yeah, i didn't know that. >> but, no. and we're like super stoked. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is going to be fantastic. >> it's going to be a whole situation. yeah. >> jimmy: now, is cash excited? is he, like -- >> yeah, he was like we should name it dick with a silent "h." i'm like, "no. [ laughter ] that's a terrible name." >> jimmy: what? wait, like dihck? [ light laughter ] >> like just hdick. >> jimmy: well, the "h" is silent at the beginning? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. all right. well, no, i don't know if that's gonna work. >> no, it's just awful. he thinks it's like old school or something. i'm like, "no, it's not. [ light laughter ] no." >> jimmy: i mean, dick warren sounds cool. that sounds like that could be that could be like a detective. >> like dick tracey, right. >> jimmy: yeah, like an old-timey detective. >> don't encourage him. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: baby's born in black and white. but he must be so excited because i've known your husband for a while now, but he's now -- >> you guys did a movie
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together back in the day. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. yeah, but now he's this giant business guy. >> yeah, he like started a a company as well. >> jimmy: pair of thieves. >> pair of thieves, yeah. >> jimmy: they make the best underwear and socks. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i bought a pair and i totally thought of you. if i had your e-mail, if you ever gave it to me, i would e-mail you. [ laughter ] we've known each other for a a long time. i'm just saying. but i bought these things. they're the cutest things ever, i have to show it to you. they're kid and dad twinsie socks. [ audience aws ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get like kid socks, they can match what dad's wearing. i totally do that and i'm so -- >> they're so cute, right? >> jimmy: yeah, i love them. yeah, me and my girls walk around like -- "what's up?" [ light laughter ] yeah, we feel like studs. it's really good. how are you feeling at this point? are you having cravings? are you having -- >> i've been -- so, i didn't think i was craving anything until i realized i was -- i'm craving japanese food all the time. you're not craving any sweets at all? >> yeah, i actually dream about desserts. but i'm trying to not gain so much weight with this baby, so i just dream about them. >> jimmy: dream about low-fat desserts. >> i want, like, all the like shaved ice with, like, ice
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cream on the bottom. >> jimmy: because i have a a thing. a special -- a special shaved ice with ice cream on the bottom? >> yeah yeah. >> jimmy: well, forget the shaved ice part. but i do have -- we do have a a secret ben and jerry's ice cream that's going to come out in november. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: but i can't -- you can't -- look at this. this is not the pint. >> oh it's all -- it's like white on white. >> jimmy: it's totally snow. that's not the final -- that's not a mixture. [ light laughter ] that's not the final thing. it's not the final -- it's secret so i can't tell anybody what it is. >> oh, okay, okay. >> jimmy: it's like a limited thing only. >> so you just made it up. >> jimmy: yeah, kind of, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: but i want you to try it. and -- and -- because -- it's not a joke. you know i would never joke. >> what was your inspiration behind this? >> jimmy: interesting. i can't give away. i can't give away anything. >> okay. >> jimmy: you're going to freak out. don't say any of the ingredients. >> okay, but there's like lots of things in here. >> jimmy: that's what ben and jerry's does. >> i don't even know where to begin. >> jimmy: yeah, i know, exactly. you're going freak out right now. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: baby's like going to be flipping out right now. [ light laughter ] >> oh, it's really good. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] it's really good, right?
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>> yeah, really good. >> jimmy: isn't that really good? right. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, you take that. >> that's really dangerous. >> jimmy: that's really dangerous, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can't just have like one. >> no, you're going -- you eat the whole thing. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, you eat the whole -- >> that's one that you eat the whole thing. >> jimmy: exactly, and you go, "what is that taste?" and then you do it again, then do it, then it's empty. >> yeah, it's -- >> jimmy: and you have to get another one and do it again. >> it's like heaven. >> jimmy: yes, it's like heaven. that's not the name. [ cheers and applause ] heaven. heaven's the name. >> heaven. >> jimmy: heaven. heaven warren. >> haven, heaven. >> jimmy: no, haven, heaven, yeah, you can't do that. [ light laughter ] let's talk about honest. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, this is a -- it's the biggest thing. >> we have new cleaning products out. >> jimmy: that's how you started, right? >> so i started with this. the idea came around, a laundry detergent that i was allergic to, a baby laundry detergent that my mom recommended that i use. and that's when i went down and learned about all of these untested, potentially harmful chemicals that are in our everyday products. for babies, for you, beauty products and so that's why i was like, there's got to be one company that you can trust
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that's transparent about what's inside the product. it's quality, it's priced within reach, and you can get it anywhere you are. so that's why i launched online and now we're in a bunch of stores like cvs and we're in target and we're in nordstrom. >> jimmy: but also didn't you just get a -- like a "good housekeeping." >> yeah, we got "good housekeeping" seal of approval on all of our new cleaning products. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: that's like -- i wish that we did too, for our ice cream. "good housekeeping" said that we could rub our ice cream on stuff. >> they put it through like more rigorous testing they said than any other cleaning -- any other detergent company. and so, even though we're made with alternative ingredients, they, like, really tested and made sure that the performance was there. because usually, when you have the alternative ingredients, the performance isn't there. but we got the performance and we got the "good housekeeping" seal of approval. we got it all and the quality, you know, the quality that you want out of something that's going to be gentle on the skin. >> jimmy: every time you're here, we always play a game. >> yes, we do. >> jimmy: and normally, we play together as a team. >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: and normally we win. >> yeah, that's true. >> jimmy: you want to do it again tonight? >> yeah. heck yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. come on, come on. jessica and i are playing "catchphrase" after the break. stick around. i was going to do a hand hug. [ cheers and applause ] up here. no, the other hand. ♪ when you say wallpaper, most people think doilies and cabbage roses. we wanted to make wallpaper cool again. one of the greatest challenges of running a small business is having to do a little bit of everything. office 365 really lets us collaborate in real time. once a client sees a 3d rendering, they get it. who knew there would be so much math with wallpaper? the math feature is so amazing. love, love, love teams. it simplifies communication from everywhere. it makes our 10-person company feel like 50. i like that math. it's time to stack the savings. take 50% off hundreds of select items storewide. plus - take an extra 20% off. plus - take an extra $10 off
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that one. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show." we're hanging out with jessica alba! [ cheers and applause ] tariq trotter right here. we're about to play a game of "catchphrase." jessica and i are a team. but tariq is going to need a a partner. and we found a good one. ♪ you can see him in the new season of "curb your enthusiasm" on hbo. he has a new book called "the book of leon: philosophy of a a fool." give it up for j.b. smoove! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> good luck. good luck. >> jimmy: thank you. good luck. >> hi. >> jimmy: good luck. good luck. alright now -- >> how are you? >> jimmy: j.b. now -- >> you two, good luck too. >> jimmy: good luck. >> thank you. >> jimmy: here we go. now j.b., you're going to start the game by pressing start on this buzzer and drawing a clue from the top of the pile. you have to get your teammate to guess the clue as quickly as possible. then hand the buzzer off to the person on your right. you can make every physical gesture and say whatever you want but you can't say any word in the actual clue. if you are holding the buzzer when it goes off, your team loses the round. we play three rounds. let's take our positions. j.b., you're there. jessica, you're all the way -- all the way over there. >> okay. >> jimmy: i'm sorry to make you walk. >> no, it's fine. alright -- >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. j.b., you'll start the game off. press start and then draw your clue. good luck. it's like this is three on two right now. this is crazy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, here we go. we can do this. >> okay. >> jimmy: we get top three on two. you guys are teammates. oh, it is, yeah, you're right. it is. [ laughter ] i didn't even think about that. i'm sorry. you're actually very right, i didn't even think of that. >> tariq: we're outnumbered, we're outnumbered. >> i'm just doing the -- i'm just doing the math. >> jimmy: i know, i'm sorry,
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yeah, exactly, sorry, apologize. all right, best of luck. >> tariq: come on. [ loud noise ] [ beeping ] >> on water -- >> tariq: what's on water? surf? >> no. >> tariq: jet ski. >> what is it though? >> tariq: surfboard. it's a surfboard. [ j.b. screams ] [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. and then -- >> jimmy: oh, take the card. yeah. [ beeping ] head butt. hey, head butt, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> tariq: you can't mess with my -- [ laughter ] it's a toy. it's a toy. and you fling it. >> a yo-yo! [ j.b. screaming ] [ j.b. howling ] >> a wolf. a dog. a -- >> jimmy: i'm a man who turned into one of these. >> coyote. oh, a werewolf. [ cheers and applause ] >> piece of hair that goes right here. >> tariq: a mohawk. [ j.b. screams ] >> you thought. you thought. you can't put it down. oh. [ beeping ] >> jimmy: body rock.
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wait. wait, pop and lock. >> yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] ♪ >> jimmy: come on man. you knew it. oh, man. take him down, man. really unbelievable. how dare you? how dare you even question that that would happen? you're in so much trouble, man. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: you know what's up, man? >> we're going to get this one. >> pop and lock? >> tariq: come on. come on. don't show him. [ beeping ] >> tariq: german beer thing, like a big beer party that happens around this time of year. >> oh, um -- >> tariq: german beer. lederhosen -- lederhosen -- >> st. paddy's day. >> tariq: no. it's happening this month. it's got the name of this month in it. this month right now -- >> oh, oh, oh, oktoberfest. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how did you not know oktoberfest? oh no. [ beeping ] >> come on man. >> jimmy: okay, it's -- it's
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not an apple. not an orange but it's -- >> a pineapple. >> jimmy: yeah, well -- >> oh wait. >> jimmy: it's a type of underwear. >> watermelon. >> jimmy: like a -- >> it's a -- it's a -- banana hammock. >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] [ beeping ] >> fresh from the valley of the -- >> tariq: yo-yo. >> from the valley of the -- >> tariq: oh, god. >> fresh from the valley of the -- >> tariq: jolly green giant! [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, oh. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: you got to give it to her. what happened? what was that one? >> no, you got pop it and lock before the buzzer. >> jimmy: what was that one? >> fake i.d., how do you even -- >> jimmy: so we got the loss on that one. alright, this is it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: whoever wins this wins everything. >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> man got to go down tonight. he got to go down tonight. >> tariq: he got to go down. >> jimmy: jolly green giant. here we go, here we go. come on, partner. >> okay. in the olympics -- >> jimmy: yeah, i love it. >> they --
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>> jimmy: javelin. >> and they go over the -- >> jimmy: oh, pole vault. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah i love it. love it, love you. >> tariq: okay. legs wide open. what they call that? it's also the name of a bird. open -- bird -- >> jimmy: baby. there's a baby here. >> tariq: name of a bird. legs wide open. you laying there with your -- [ beeping ] the national bird. the national bird. >> eagle! spread eagle. >> tariq: yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jessica, all right, ready? if you're really cool and like preppy, you could like -- >> a bow tie. >> jimmy: you could do this to your shirt, golf shirt. >> oh, you pop your collar. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> in the projects -- >> tariq: a monocle. [ buzzer ] >> he got it. he got it. >> jimmy: no, he did not. [ audience boos ] no, no, no. >> tariq: are you kidding me? >> nobody in the projects has a a monocle.
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>> jimmy: nobody in the projects has a monocle. our thanks to jessica alba, j.b. smoove, and tariq. we're talking to j.b. after the break. stick around, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that one. this. that one. ♪ ♪ cilantro. parsley. spinach. basil. toothpicks?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very, very funny human being. he plays leon black on hbo's "curb your enthusiasm," sunday
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nights at 10:00 p.m. his new book, "the book of leon: philosophy of a fool," is available now where books are sold. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome j.b. smoove! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now you know how to do it. that's how you do it right there. j.b. smoove. [ cheers and applause ] with the pipe, that is fantastic. >> let me -- why would i come out here any other way? i am an author. [ light laughter ]
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>> jimmy: oh, exactly. i know that. that's what authors do. >> that's how they look. that's how they look, right? they wear a nice turtleneck. >> jimmy: yep. >> and they have a pipe in their hand. >> jimmy: yep. >> now i would have wore my wool jacket with the little pieces of leather on each elbow, or with the swede, but it was in the cleaners. so i couldn't do that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. no problem. >> but i do think i make a a perfect model if you ever do have a new writer's award trophy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a -- that's a a good -- you got the -- you get the smoove award, the j.b. smoove -- look at that. that's fantastic. >> perfect. i mean, who was the guy? who's the oscar guy? who's that dude? his body is perfect. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got to google it. but i have no idea. >> is he naked or is he in a a body suit? [ laughter ] no one ever asks these questions. >> jimmy: no, i never thought about that. yeah. i never thought about that. [ laughter ]
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"book of leon," this is based on your "curb your enthusiasm" character's voice. this is leon black, this is "the book of leon." and this is very, very exciting. >> jimmy, this is the greatest moment in the history of books. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you understand? >> jimmy: i know that. yeah. i know. >> never -- i'm speaking in the third person because i wrote this book from the mind of j.b. smoove, but this book is written in the voice of leon black. >> jimmy: do you know how tricky that is? >> it's tricky, man. [ laughter ] i had to trick myself. i had to put the durag on, the slippers on, the robe with no belt. >> jimmy: you actually had to trick yourself into writing. >> trick myself. trick myself. every time. [ light laughter ] i would sit down and i would pretend i'm leon. i had to really live through leon vicariously, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and become him, while writing for three or four hours in the basement. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's -- this is phenomenal here. >> no, it's absolutely -- >> jimmy: you have kind -- here's the chapters. "he ain't wrong, he just ain't right." that's one of them.
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[ laughter ] >> no better -- no better words spoken. "he ain't wrong. he just ain't right." [ laughter ] you know a lot of people like that too. >> jimmy: i do, actually. i do know that. >> jimmy: "black belt in bleeping." >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] >> you know what that is? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> you know my character, you know what that is. >> jimmy: yeah. you have -- i can't read half of these. >> no, you can't read half of them. >> jimmy: no. >> but that's leon. that's leon. that's the way leon and larry connect to each other. >> jimmy: "ikea parties." what is that about? >> that means you go to ikea and instead of spending on some location somewhere and paying somebody all these bucks for some ballroom, you invite people to ikea, you meet them in one of those little set-ups, you put a little rope around it and you just have a good time. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god. oh my god. >> and the party's over when they throw your ass out. see?
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[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that is exactly the way to do it. >> you got to be thinking. gotta think. >> jimmy: that is exactly the way to do it. i mean, you also give advice for big companies like uber and stuff, right? >> yeah, a lot of ideas for uber. they need to expand a little bit more. there's "uber feet." "uber feet" means that sometimes you just want somebody to walk with you somewhere, you know? [ laughter ] somebody to bounce ideas off of. you know, just to walk around with and chat and talk. [ light laughter ] call me up, you know, depending how far i'm away from you, i'll let you know, i'm around the corner, i'm five blocks away. you wait for me, but you don't know who the hell you're going to get, see? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then you'll walk with the person to wherever they're going? >> of course. i'll walk with them anywhere they want to go. "uber feet." >> jimmy: "uber feet." >> i got "uber coach." that means i go to your house, right. if you and your boyfriend, or you and your girlfriend having problems, i talk y'all through it. if it don't work out, i'll help you throw the other person's [ bleep ] out. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there's no other way to say that. >> jimmy: no, no --
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>> i can't say it no other way. >> jimmy: no, you gotta do what you gotta do. >> stuff just don't sound right. the -- just don't sound right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to talk about "curb." it's coming, this is it, man. the season's happening, it's on hbo right now. you and larry david, oh my god, everybody's -- susie essman, i love richard lewis so much, ted danson is great. great, great cast and basically just larry's got it all screwed up. >> aw, man. he's got it all. he is a genius, man. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but that show, man, larry's a fool on that show, man. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think, you know, for us all to be back again, it's absolutely amazing, man. we get to tackle some more of larry's issues, man. the whole crew is back. we're having a great time, man. we're four episodes in. we're having a ball, man. this season is absolutely fabulous, man, and it's a a blessing to be on the show where you can actually just spread your wings and have a a good time, man. it's a blessing. >> jimmy: you crush it -- you crush it in every single scene you're in, you steal, my friend. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: and i know -- it's tough to do in that thing. gosh, you are so great and i just love you so much. >> i appreciate that, man. >> jimmy: here's j.b. smoove in "curb your enthusiasm." [ cheers and applause ] take a look at this. >> it's all your fault. you fiddled with the radio and the back-up camera didn't work.
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>> you [ bleep ] up. >> no, you [ bleep ] up. >> no, no, no. you [ bleep ] up. don't blame me for that [ bleep ]. ♪ >> wow. oh, geez. [ bleep ] >> it's called good. >> damn it, look at that. that's bad. >> it's all right. i'm going to tell them i'm sorry and leave my name and number. what else can i do? >> i wouldn't write [ bleep ]. just drive the [ bleep ] off. >> no, i'm not gonna do that. i follow the golden rule, okay? "do onto others as you'd have others do unto you." the golden rule. >> i follow the golden rule too. my friend jasper golden. [ bleep ] them or they'll [ bleep ] you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jasper golden. j.b. smoove, everybody. "curb your enthusiasm" is on sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. on hbo. "the book of leon" is available now. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with some halloween science experiments from kevin delaney. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the host of "street science," which returns for a second season november 15th at 10:00 p.m. on science channel. give it up for our resident science expert, kevin delaney, ladies and gentlemen.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations on the second season of "street science." >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: what is happening this season? season two? >> oh, we're going bigger. we're blowing up all kinds of stuff. we're crashing cars, dropping cars, chemistry, all kinds of cool stuff, if you're into that sort of thing. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i'm into it. you always bring something cool to do. this is a halloween-themed -- >> right. >> jimmy: some science experiments. what is the first one you got for us? >> it's a spooky time, so spooky stuff. >> jimmy: is spooky, spooky. >> so we've got some dry ice. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so this is what we're going to do. we're going to make some bubbles. but we're going to make bubbles filled with dry ice. now, dry ice is just solid carbon dioxide gas. right? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so i'm going to drop it in. and you are going to see that it makes that fun vapor. you know, dry ice is great to use at halloween if you want to get that foggy effect. that fog is just a little bit of co2 and some water vapor. so there you go. >> jimmy: carbon dioxide and water vapor. >> and water vapor. yeah, there you go. so, once it sublimates, which is transferring from a solid to a gas. >> jimmy: i know what sublimates means. >> i know you know. [ laughter ] i'm just telling for the benefit of our friends in tv land. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. yeah, of course. please, i'm mr. sublimates.
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[ light laughter ] >> right, so now, this is what we're going to do. you got your glove on? >> jimmy: yes. >> okay, great. so i'm just going to put this over here. >> jimmy: oh, cool. >> and i've got my vapor coming out here. now i'm going to dip this in, and we get -- there you go. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] so, carbon dioxides heavier than air so the bubbles don't really float. they just kind of -- flop. >> jimmy: that's so cool. come on! >> yeah, it's pretty fun. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] all right, so now, we got some more stuff. so come on over here. >> jimmy: all right, buddy. >> i'm going to go into the pumpkin booth. and then i'll see you in a a second. >> jimmy: no, seriously? >> yeah. so you stay out there. you want to go over there. >> jimmy: this was a punishment that happened to me when i was a child. >> can you shut the door, jimmy? >> jimmy: they used to put me in the pumpkin booth. >> make sure the door is shut. here we go. [ light laughter ] okay so, what we're going to do here is -- you like jack o'lanterns? >> jimmy: yes. >> jack o'lanterns are a lot of fun. but after a while -- after halloween's over, they get kind of nasty, right? >> jimmy: yeah, that's true. >> and the last thing anyone wants is a rotten, hollow orange pumpkin sitting around for, i don't know, four years, eight years, however long it's going to be. [ light laughter ] so you want to get rid of it,
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right? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. you want to get -- you want to get rid of the jack o'lantern. >> so what you're going to do is -- we're actually using the same stuff. we got dry ice. >> jimmy: okay. >> and water, and we're going to put it in the bottle. but this time, instead of making bubbles, we're going to pressurize it by putting the cap on. >> jimmy: now why are you behind there? is everything okay? i'm going to get -- i'm going to get you out of there, sweetie. >> i believe in you man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to get you out of there, sweetie. >> i believe you baby. okay. all right. so now, i'm going to pour this water in here. >> jimmy: you're innocent, baby. you're innocent. i'm getting you out. [ laughter ] >> all right. so, the water's going to go in. and now our bottle's filling with vapor and we're going to pressurize that vapor, put the cap on. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> put the bottle in the pumpkin and get rid of the pumpkin. >> jimmy: now, do not -- do not try this at home. >> do not try this at home. and you're going to want to cover your ears too. you definitely don't want to try this at home. >> jimmy: wait -- everyone just did it immediately. you didn't even wait for me. [ light laughter ] >> hang on a second. let me get my glove off. >> jimmy: no problem, yep. >> all right, here we go. >> jimmy: all right. all right. here we go. >> here we go. >> jimmy: okay, all right,
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kevin, get out of there! >> now i'm getting out. >> jimmy: now where are you -- so, now what happens? >> so right now, all that pressures gonna build up inside of the bottle. and eventually it's going to push against the walls of the bottle. and the bottle's going to probably fail and -- well, we'll see what happens. are you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. >> so keep an eye on the top of that bottle. >> jimmy: oh, no! >> cover your ears, everybody. ready? here we go. jack o'lantern. [ drumroll ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ trick or treat. trick or treat. you all right? you all right? anything you want, jimmy? jimmy? >> jimmy: wow! >> i have a -- >> jimmy: wow. what was that? look at it.
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look what happened! [ applause ] >> don't do with your pumpkins at home. >> jimmy: do not do this at home. can we see that again in slow motion? >> oh, look at that jack o'lantern. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> pretty good. now, you all right? you all right? you were -- you were holding yourself a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah. >> don't worry. we have a thing for that. >> jimmy: wow, wow, wow. >> all right. >> jimmy: wow. >> all right, you okay? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you need to clean up? >> jimmy: i need a little clean-up. >> i got something over here. come on over. >> jimmy: okay. very good. [ light laughter ] >> so trick or treat. you like a trick? >> jimmy: i love a trick. >> you ever prank somebody by, like, tp-ing their house? >> jimmy: never, would i ever. no! never, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> they look very excited. >> jimmy: well, hang on a a second. hang on a second. okay. >> yeah, okay. so, the problem is like, you have to throw the paper and then, you know, it takes a a while. and then the dog starts barking, the neighbor comes out and -- >> jimmy: it's time consuming. >> and then before ya -- yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's the only problem i have with
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it. [ light laughter ] >> so what you want to do is you want to -- you want to use bernoulli's principle. you familiar with bernoulli's principle? >> jimmy: my principal, principal bernoulli. yeah, of course. >> principal bernoulli, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love the man. >> aerodynamic principle. so, the bernoulli principle is one of the main things that keeps airplanes in the air. so bernoulli said when fast moving air moves over surface, it creates an area of low pressure that allows lift to come up high pressure. pushes up here, cause there's low pressure here. so if you blow across the top of the paper towel -- [ blowing ] you're lifting the paper towel. >> jimmy: we get it. yeah, okay, yeah. >> okay. [ applause ] you okay? you okay? >> jimmy: yeah -- i'm winded, yeah. >> lot of wind. yeah. so now we've got some leaf blowers to do the work for you. so the "street science" team put together -- we have over 100 rolls of streamers and paper towels here. [ cheers and applause ] so we're going to decorate the studio for halloween. >> jimmy: let's tp the studio. >> are you all ready? all y'all ready? [ cheers and applause ] all right. all right.
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and our cart has wheels on it so we can aim it at the audience. >> jimmy: oh, interesting. >> one, two, three, leaf blowers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: yeah! >> we got it all the way in the back. >> jimmy: and the roots right there -- oh, my god. >> and the roots, great. >> jimmy: look at the crowd. give it up, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for kevin delaney, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] season two of "street science" premieres november 15th at 10:00 p.m. on science channel. stick around. we'll be right back. happy halloween! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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we can now use a blood sample to detect lung cancer. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for asthma. and if we can stop seizures in epilepsy patients with a small pacemaker for the brain, imagine what we can do for multiple sclerosis, even migraines. if we can use patients' genes to predict heart disease in their families, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jessica alba, j.b. smoove, kevin delaney. and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight megyn kelly. from "nathan for you," comedian nathan fielder. star of nbc's "superstore," colton dunn. featuring the 8g band with sonny emory. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everyone. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today claimed he has a better recollection of his condolence calls to the widow of the soldier than she does. pointing to his head and saying quote, "one of the great memories of all time."

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