tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 26, 2017 12:37am-1:38am PDT
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight megyn kelly. from "nathan for you," comedian nathan fielder. star of nbc's "superstore," colton dunn. featuring the 8g band with sonny emory. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everyone. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today claimed he has a better recollection of his condolence calls to the widow of the soldier than she does. pointing to his head and saying quote, "one of the great memories of all time."
[ light laughter ] trump then added, "if you don't believe me ask my wife melatonin." [ laughter ] after announcing he would not seek reelection, republican senator jeff flake said today that he believes a lot more of his colleagues will soon speak out against president trump. said his colleagues -- [ crickets ] [ laughter ] housing secretary ben carson said today that rebuilding puerto rico after hurricane maria could take anywhere between one and 100 years. and that's just the kind of precision you expect from a brain surgeon. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "be honest with me, what are my chances of survival, doc?" "some where between one and 100 percent." [ light laughter ] a new poll has found that 51 percent of democrats now have
a favorable view of former president george w. bush. [ laughter ] and that makes sense. i'd also have a favorable view of the flu if i suddenly found myself with the plague. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] amazon is testing a new service that allows couriers to unlock homes and leave packages inside. learn more about the new service on a future episode of "dateline." [ laughter ] "all he wanted was some paper towels. [ laughter ] and all they were useful for was to mop up his blood. [ laughter ] he was murdered prime." [ laughter and applause ]
the nypd is currently searching for a man who left a crime scene wearing a fedora and $48,000 watch. so please contact the authorities if you see bruno mars. [ laughter ] the new york daily news put out a quiz yesterday. challenging readers to locate niger on a map. "trick question, there's no such country said one reader." [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] today is picasso's birthday so celebrate with a weird ass cake. [ laughter ] and finally a woman recently set a world record for running an entire marathon in high heels. wow, so she finally made a break for it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. she is the host of "megyn kelly today" on nbc news. megyn kelly is here everybody.
[ cheers and applause ] he is the star of a fantastic show on comedy central. one of the funniest on tv. "nathan for you." nathan fielder is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and a wonderful actor and comedian, you know him from nbc's "superstore." he's an old friend of mine. colton dunn is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so happy to have him here. before we get to all that, the republican party is at the peek of its powers and yet it is currently engulfed in a civil war very much of its own making with several gop senators now openly warning that the president is dangerous, unstable and a threat to democracy. for more on this it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: yesterday arizona senator jeff flake gave a speech on the senate floor calling on his colleagues to challenge the behavior of president trump. the words were strong, the delivery less so. >> we must stop pretending that the degradation of our politics
and the conduct of some in our executive branch are normal. they are not normal. reckless, outrageous and undignified behavior has become excused in countenance as, "telling it like it is," when it is actually just reckless, outrageous and dignified -- and undignified. >> seth: he kind of sounds like a kid on the playground whose father told him to stand up to a bully. [ light laughter ] "i don't think you're being very nice -- not in the face." and that of course came just hours after tennessee senator bob corker went on tv to warn us all that the president is still an incompetent, unstable liar. >> i think world leaders are very aware that much of what he says is untrue. i don't know why he lowers himself to such a low, low standard and debases our country in the way that he does, but he does. at the end of his day when his term is over, i think the debasing of our nation, the
constant non-truth telling, the -- just the name calling, the things like -- i think the debasement of our nation is what he'll be remembered most for. >> seth: such is the trajectory of donald trump. he started out in a golden penthouse and ended up in debasement. [ laughter and applause ] but it isn't just -- it isn't just trump. habitual line that corker slammed. there was also his impulsive temper and volatility. at another stop on his press tour, corker went on "the today show" where he was asked point-blank if trump is dangerous and answered the question in a way that made clear the answer is yes. >> let me put it bluntly, left to his own devices, do you think the president is a threat to national security? >> i think that there are people around him that work in an effort to contain him. >> seth: not only -- [ light laughter ] not only is that answer terrifying so is the question. you shouldn't have to ask if the president is a threat to national security.
[ laughter ] that's like asking a real estate agent, "are there ghosts in the closet?" [ laughter ] the answer to that question should always be, "don't be ridiculous," but in this case, the real estate agent is saying, "yes, there is a ghost in the closet." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but according to corker -- according to corker, it's not just that trump is unfit for office, but that he's actively choosing to run his white house in a dangerous and chaotic way. corker criticized trump specifically for his apparent lack of interest in being good at his job. using one interesting turn of phrase in particular. >> look i expressed concerns a few weeks ago about his leadership and just his stability and the lack of desire to be competent. >> seth: lack -- lack of desire to be competent. that's how you say he doesn't give a [ bleep ] on cnn.
[ cheers and applause ] that's -- that sounds like the performance review for a teenager who keeps showing up late to his job at friendly's. "donny you forgot to clean the fryer before you left, you didn't put the ice cream back in freezer and in general i'd say, you lack the desire to be competent. give me your apron." [ laughter ] corker may now have regrets about trump's presidency, but he of course actively supported and encouraged trump's candidacy last year. in fact, corker appeared with trump at a rally to endorse him and encouraged people to vote for him. although, he did seem a little uncomfortable with the atmosphere of a trump rally. >> a great friend of mine somebody respected by everybody, senator bob corker. come on up, bob. come on up. [ cheers and applause ] >> i wasn't going to say anything. i just came to visit. [ laughter ] but i have to say something. the rallies that i have back at home aren't quite like this. >> pretty good.
pretty tough. >> pretty cool. yeah, this is unbelievable, isn't it? >> seth: corker has the flustered look of a guy who wandered into a biker bar looking for his daughter. [ laughter ] "oh gosh, it's pretty rowdy in here. pretty cool. pretty cool. kaley!" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] corker campaigned with trump in july after many of trump's most grotesque comments like his call for muslim ban or his claim that mexico is sending rapists to the u.s. and yet, corker's now acting almost as if he's surprised that trump hasn't completely changed his personality at the age of 71. >> you would think he would aspire to be the president of the united states and act like a president of the united states but, you know, that's just not going to be the case apparently. hopefully what presidents do is to try to bring the country together to unify around common goals and not to debase our country, if you will. and that has not happened and
i'm beginning to believe that it's not going to happen. >> seth: you're beginning to believe it's not going to happen? [ light laughter ] trump is an old billionaire with a young, beautiful wife who just became president. why would he ever think, "i've got to change my ways?" that would be like larry king going, "you know what? i'm going to start wearing belts. " [ laughter ] but here's the thing, it's not enough to hurl insults at trump. if you think the president is a danger to democracy or national security, then you have to do something about it. you could hold hearings, call witnesses, pass laws to limit his power or remove him from office. trump obviously will not change his behavior just because you insulted him. believe me. i've tried. [ light laughter ] in fact, he seems to enjoy the theater of fighting with people. on sunday when he was asked on fox news about his ongoing feuds with arizona senator john mccain and corker, trump actually insisted that fighting with members of his own party who think he's deranged is somehow good for him. >> obviously the feuding with senator corker, i think there's
a personal thing going on between you and senator mccain. do you worry that this bickering and feuding gets in the way of your agenda? >> no and sometimes it helps, to be honest with you. so we'll see what happens in the end. but, i think actually sometimes it helps. >> seth: that's right. trump thinks it helps when people call him crazy. [ light laughter ] it changes the subject from what an asshole i am. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so twitter insults and floor speeches are not enough to stop trump. you need to do something and not just about trump himself. if you really care about the health of our political system, then you also need to confront the ideology of trumpism that has infected the republican party. take for example, roy moore, the gop nominee and front-runner for a senate seat in alabama. moore is flawless theocrat who has said homosexual conduct should be illegal and that a muslim member of congress should not be seated because of his religion. not to mention the fact that he dresses like a judge at a chili cook-off. [ light laughter ]
and at a summit in d.c. earlier this month, moore went off on a bizarre rant in which he appeared to rewrite the lyrics to "america the beautiful." >> we sing the songs. oh, beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountains majesties above the fruited plains. america, america god shed his grace on thee and bound thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea. america the beautiful. or so it used to be. land of the pilgrims pride, i'm glad they're not here to see babies piled in dumpsters, abortion on demand. oh, sweet land of liberty your house is on the sand. your children wander aimlessly, poison by cocaine, choosing to indulge their lust when god has said abstain. >> seth: seems like a chill guy. [ laughter ] that's a senate candidate. usually when you hear someone rambling that incoherently they're sitting by themselves on an empty subway car.
[ laughter ] "children wandering aimlessly. poisoned by cocaine." "honey, let's get off at the next stop. we'll just walk. let's go." if people like corker and flake are unwilling to do concrete things to stop trump and roy moore, then it's hard to take them seriously. it's almost like republicans who say trump is dangerous to our political system don't actually want to do anything about it. it's like they have -- um, um, what's the phrase? >> lack of desire to be competent. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." we'll be right back with megyn kelly, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's closer looks, be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody and give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us this week, he's a master musician and performer who played with everyone from earth, wind, and fire to the b-52's. his new album "love is the greatest," featuring his group, cachet is available now. sonny emory everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, seth. >> seth: thank you for being sonny, i really appreciate it. >> how you doing? thanks. >> seth: our first guest tonight hosts "megyn kelly today" weekday mornings at 9:00 on nbc news. please welcome back to the show, megyn kelly, everybody. ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm great how are you? >> seth: good, it's very nice having you in the building. >> it's exciting to be here. >> seth: and we were talking about -- >> 30 rock. >> seth: a lot has changed, you went from a show that was on at night to now a show that is on in the morning. you were saying backstage you see your children a lot more. that must be nice. >> yeah, it's amazing. i'm having a totally different experience with them. i've gone from, "hurry up, get your backpack we've got to go!" to, "it's almost time for bed, come on gotta brush your teeth. come on, here we go." >> seth: that's great, they must be so much more into that. >> but, can i tell you that the nighttime routine is much more rewarding than the morning routine. it's just you know, like tucking them in. >> seth: oh, putting kids to bed. >> reading the stories, doing all that. >> seth: yeah. that's so great that you told me the thing i miss every night doing this show. >> sorry. >> seth: yeah. >> sorry. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's really cool of you. i thank you so much for that. >> as they age up, we'll get more time. >> seth: goddamnit, megyn. >> sorry. >> seth: i didn't need to go through this tonight. >> there's always facetime. >> seth: there's other changes from night to morning.
you've noticed in the very few short weeks you've been doing your show, usually there's a lot more to doing a morning show. >> you know, i've been amazed at how much i have to move around. >> seth: yeah. >> i used to be able to just sit at the desk and look into the camera and deliver the news. and now it's like -- i don't know, there's like, dried smoke coming into the studio and i got to walk down, like, a runway. and i gotta, i don't know do yoga. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> so you got to do all that stuff and then you got to do the serious interviews. i mean, it's the full gamut. >> seth: yeah, well in that one, i've got it over you because i just move behind the desk and just talk about the news. so i -- >> that's so nice. >> seth: yeah, you might put your kids to bed but sweet desk. >> nailed it. >> seth: you have -- you pointed out that you want to talk about politics less in your new job and i imagine that you do not miss or you could tell me, do you miss talking to politicians? >> i really do miss mitch mcconnell. >> seth: yeah. >> desperately. i miss our time together. >> seth: he should come on your morning show. >> anthony weiner like, i love -- no. >> seth: you should make scones with anthony weiner on the "today" show. [ laughter and applause ] >> um. >> seth: as like a work release. [ laughter ]
>> you know, it's one of those things, like, look, if a big -- if a big hurricane comes we're gonna talk about it but we're not going to be the weather channel. if something big happens politically we're gonna talk about it but i don't want to do it all the time like i did on cable because it's soul killing. so we'll do it, you know, where appropriate. i just don't want to do it all the time. talking -- you know with all due respect to those guys, it's -- those are not the best interviews as you know. >> seth: yeah, well i -- you know, tell me if you've found the same thing, i find and this is across the aisle, republicans and democrats do the exactly the same, most of politicians answer the question they wish you'd ask. >> right. >> seth: and so, you ask the question you want an answer to and the next thing you know, you realize, oh, this isn't it? >> and they'll take 12 minutes to answer it. >> seth: yeah. and then you get so bored that you just give up. >> right. >> seth: yeah. >> well, that is one thing i would never do. i mean, i always felt like and still do that i was there as the advocate for the audience in that -- so i'm not shy about interrupting somebody and sort of saying, boring. [ light laughter ] but that doesn't make the experience fulfilling when it's over --
>> seth: sure, when you -- >> and then it's still, they're spin masters. >> seth: they are. >> they've gotta be spin masters. >> seth: there's a lot of spinning. you mentioned if a hurricane came through you would talk about it. a hurricane of sorts has come through our nation as far as sexual harassment as being this issue that everybody's talking about. you used your show on monday to address specifically bill o'reilly who had, basically, made the point that no women in all his years had ever gone to anyone in charge of fox news and said that his behavior was bad. you very -- gave an impassioned speech which i thought was wonderful and i'm glad you did it. where you had pointed out you had gone to fox news and pointed that out and no one had done anything. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: did you know right away that you were going to do that as soon as you heard him say his falsehood about the fact, that no one had ever done it. >> it was more of a combo, honestly, seth. it was the combo of him saying that and the news that he had paid $32 million to settle a claim. >> seth: that seems like a lot, right? >> that's not nuisance value. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean that's -- i get litigations happen all the time, a lot of them are nonsense and
you pay some small amount to make them go away. $32 million is a different story. and he was renewed at the company after he did that. and i know that fox says it didn't know. the question remains why didn't they? why wouldn't you know? why wouldn't you ask before you bring this man back in the workplace and unleash him on the workforce? and so the combination of those things i just -- and what's happening in the country, it was time. it was time to tell that story. i take no pleasure in, you know, discussing fox news in that way because i had a lot of good years there and they're not all bad. they've got some great people. he is not one of them. >> seth: yeah. you -- [ cheers and applause ] i also thought -- this is very interesting to me because i think one of the things that makes it so difficult for women to report this about anyone be it harvey weinstein, be it bill o'reilly is they're immediately attacked. and one of the ways they're attacked is, oh, why would you have ever been on their show or why would you have ever posed with this photo where you're smiling? one of the things bill o'reilly did is he pointed out and
basically said, you can read them on my website that you and gretchen carlson who had accused roger ailes of this same sort of thing. had written him thank-you notes. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: do you think that speaks to exactly how hard it is for women to report this sort of thing? that -- like something that small can be used to basically impugn your character? >> i mean i think it's right out of the playbook of a lot of these guys. i mean, ask yourselves, who keeps thank-you notes from nine years earlier and puts them in a file just in case they need them, right? >> seth: yeah -- >> i mean -- >> seth: they might be that he's only ever gotten the two. [ laughter and applause ] >> any way, everybody knows you can have a decent working relationship with somebody as i did with him for years and then you get new information about said person that changes your view. >> seth: yeah. so what do you -- in general, like, not just -- in any place, in any workplace, how important do you think the, sort of, means to report this thing, this kind of thing is and what would you suggest for a workplace -- >> you know -- >> seth: to make sure it's a
place for safe for women to say this sort of thing that's going on? >> it's a great question and i have said publicly that i hate when people ask these victims when they come forward and a better word is accusers because we don't know for sure whether anybody's, in fact, a victim. what, did you report it, did you report it? or why didn't you report it? and the first question you need to ask is, was there a safe avenue for reporting? and only if the answer to that question is yes, do you get to ask that next question. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> because let me tell you, the answer to that question was no at my workplace for years. there wasn't. hr was controlled by the ceo who was harassing half of the women in the building. and so it was not a meaningful outlet and even if it had been i've spoken to so many women about this. they're afraid, even if hr is a real option. it doesn't always go your way and if you don't win this contest. you know, if you take a shot at the king you better kill him, you've heard that saying? >> seth: mm-hmm. >> if you don't win this, you know, showdown, you know what's
going to happen to you and it doesn't always -- it's not always obvious. maybe the next contract you're not quite as impressive as you used to be and you can't prove that it was the fact that you raised this complaint. so, my feeling is it's fine for the record we need to say report, go report it, report it, but i also feel like, easy for me and you to say, we've got these great jobs and we'll be fine if we get fired. the reality is, "a," women, it can happen to men too, need to form an underground army where they talk to each other and know they're not alone. and "b" men in positions of power, and women we need more of those. but men in positions of power need to not only stick up for us publicly but in the bars and at nighttime and when we're not there and when they're talking about us in this way and when we're walking out and they're looking at our ass. those are the moments you need to stand up and say, "dude, no." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: well said. well, i'm really happy you're in the building and i am very happy when you talk about things like that but i also like watching you make scones with anthony weiner, which is when is that? [ light laughter ]
is that next monday? [ light laughter ] >> i don't think they allow those visits. >> seth: yeah i don't think so either. >> i hope. >> seth: hey, thank you so much for being here. such a pleasure. >> thanks for having me. >> seth: megyn kelly, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "megyn kelly today" airs weekday mornings at 9:00 on nbc news. we'll be right back with nathan fielder. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ but also actively steer... not only to automatically brake ...we're getting closer to our ultimate goal: a world without accidents. experience driver-first innovation. experience amazing.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian and the star of "nathan for you," which airs thursdays on comedy central and has a two hour finale on november 9th. please welcome back to the show nathan fielder, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> good. >> seth: i'm glad you're back. >> thank you for having me back. >> seth: well, it's just a pleasure to see you. >> well, it's a pleasure to see you too. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] we're off to a good start. >> actually, since i was on last -- >> seth: mm-hmm. >> i understand you've had a baby? >> seth: yeah, we had a child, yeah. [ cheers and applause ]
we had a boy named -- >> congratulations. >> seth: thank you. >> i actually brought a gift. >> seth: oh, thank you. >> for the baby. since i haven't seen you since then. >> seth: okay. should i open it now? >> sure. >> seth: okay. it is -- it looks like it is $40. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. he'll love that. and that's -- and thank you, by the way -- >> use that for anything. >> seth: thank you for doing the research and finding out that his name is baby. [ laughter ] so your show, which is one of my favorite shows on television, you provide out-of-the-box solutions for business people more often than not. >> right. we go to real small businesses and give them kind of absurd or ways to market themselves and make money that have never been done before. >> seth: and -- but on a recent episode, which i was a huge fan of, you basically had to go out of the box to find a solution
for a problem you had. >> right. >> seth: which is, when you go on talk shows, you wanted to have a really good talk show story. >> right, yeah. so last week's episode i -- yeah, i don't know. you have to do these things to like promote the show. >> seth: sure. >> i'm not -- i'm not super in to doing them. [ light laughter ] but you have to, so i was like, to promote the new season i was booked on "jimmy kimmel live" at the beginning of the season. >> seth: yep. >> who is one of our competitors? >> seth: colleague. [ laughter ] >> right. so -- [ light laughter ] and i was a bit like, i'm nervous to do it, because i'm like -- i'm not like the most -- what's the word? like interesting guy. >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ]
>> so, you know, i look -- all these celebrities they have these stories they tell about how exciting their lives are. >> seth: mm-hmmm. >> and i don't really have that. so i -- i started researching talk show anecdotes like the clips that everyone says. and i constructed the perfect anecdote to tell on a talk show, which involved a luggage mix-up at an airport, me having to wear a stranger's suit to a wedding. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> finding a small ziploc baggy with a powder substance in it, in the pocket. [ light laughter ] getting pulled over by a cop. and then a big twist ending, which is i discover that in the baggie is actually someone's mother's ashes. >> seth: right. [ light laughter ] >> right. >> seth: so you made up a talk show story for yourself. >> yes. and i had the perfect story, but there's a problem because -- i mean you can't go on a talk show
and just lie. you know what i mean? >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, brian williams, you know, he like -- [ laughter ] >> seth: so what you -- >> so, i couldn't -- i didn't want to tell a fake story so i retroactively decided to make every single plot point happen to me for real. [ light laughter ] so -- and that's what you see in the episode that we aired last week is that before my appearance on kimmel i made every, every bead happen. so the story i told was factually true. i got invited to a wedding. >> seth: yep. >> i got a real cop to pull me over. i arranged a real luggage mix-up. and i had to find someone to -- i had to get someone's mother's ashes as well. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. now i should -- >> it took a lot of work. >> seth: yeah. but you did. and i saw the episode and you effectively did. >> i did it all. so it's real. i mean -- yeah, it took a lot of time and it actually -- it cost over $350,000 of my show's
budget. >> seth: that seems probably to be a huge chunk of the budget. >> yeah, it was a lot of money. i mean, that's a lot of money for anyone. >> seth: sure. [ laughter ] >> so, it cost a lot to make it all real. >> seth: well, congratul -- >> and i put a lot of effort into it, which is actually what i kind of wanted to talk to you about because -- i mean because it took a lot of work, i'd love to tell it again tonight. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i will say, and you wouldn't know this, so no apology necessary. but it's not great when someone tells the exact same story on another person's talk show. >> well, the way i see it, if you're the beatles and you write "hey jude" you don't perform that just once. >> seth: right. [ laughter and applause ] sure. >> you know what i mean? >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> they get it, right? plus also, i mean because of the
expense, like -- my accountant was saying that if i can do it on a second show i can amortize the cost over two appearances. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so you want to tell it -- >> so it's 175 per telling. >> seth: so this is for tax reasons, basically? [ light laughter ] >> that too. it's also a great story. i mean it is the perfect story. so it's gonna work again. >> seth: can i just say one more issue? i feel like you've already told everybody what the story is. [ light laughter ] on kimmel, they didn't know the story ahead of time. you didn't say here's the story and i'm going to tell it like this and this'll happen and this'll happen and then you tell it. but that's what you've done here. you've ruined the story by telling everyone what the story was. >> well, it's a great story. it should hold up. [ light laughter ] >> seth: can you tell -- >> i mean, these people -- i'm sure you guys would like to hear the story. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you should be ashamed of yourself for using that talk show move that you just did. >> oh, is that a move? i don't know. >> seth: you just goaded them into applause to make them back up the thing you're going to do whether i let you or not.
[ light laughter ] >> i didn't know that was a move. i'm not good at thee things. >> seth: oh, i think you're better than you think you are. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy, i don't have anything else. so you want to just sit here or -- >> seth: okay, it's not -- [ light laughter ] you know what? tell the story. >> oh, i called you jimmy. >> seth: you did. [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry. actually that's probably a compliment, right? [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, no. >> i don't know the ranking -- okay, so -- >> seth: so -- >> is it okay if i tell it again? just for tax reasons if i could do it in a different state it's helpful. >> seth: i would love it. i would love it. i would love it. >> okay. so maybe you could set me up by saying something like, "oh, you seem like a busy guy, do you travel a lot?" [ light laughter ] >> seth: so nathan, obviously you're a very busy guy, do you even have time to travel? >> yeah, yeah. actually -- [ light laughter ] well, now that you mention it, i
was recently traveling to a wedding and it turned out to be one of the craziest days of my life. >> seth: really? >> yeah. >> seth: what happened? >> do you want to hear? >> seth: i would -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> so i accidently took the wrong luggage at the airport and i didn't realize until i got to my hotel. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and it was a big problem because my suit that i was going to wear to the wedding was in my suitcase. >> seth: sure. >> i was just in shorts and a t-shirt. so i -- fortunately there was a luggage tage, i called the guy whose luggage it is. there wasn't enough time to make the exchange but he said, you know what? i actually have a suit in my bag, you're welcome to borrow it if you want. >> seth: that's nice. yeah. >> and so i was like, "oh, thank you." and i put on the suit. the only problem was it was way too big for me. >> seth: okay. >> i actually brought a photo if you want to see me in the suit. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, that's way too big. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah.
>> yeah. >> seth: so -- >> i look dick tracy villain or something. >> seth: you do - >> you know, i didn't have any time. i was running late. so i decided i'd have to wear it. so i'm heading to my car, my rental car and i notice that in the suit there's a small ziploc baggie with like a powdery substance in it. >> seth: wow, yeah, that's not good. >> so i'm like, "ah, i guess this guy likes to party." i don't really think about it. at this point i'm late for the wedding. >> seth: sure. >> so i get into my car and let's just say i'm going a little bit over the speed limit and, of course, i hear the sirens and a cop pulls me over. and i'm panicking because, you know, i don't want to go to jail here. so the cop comes to the -- comes to the door, license, registration. and i had forgotten that i left the baggie on the seat beside me. and when i looked at it, he looks and he goes, "what's that?" and i go, "i don't know. it's not mine."
[ laughter ] and then he says, "hand it to me." and at this point i'm panicking, so i give him the baggie and i say, "you have to believe me. it's not my suit. that's why it's so big. i had a luggage mix up." and i said, "you know, i was just talking to the guy. let me call him. maybe he can explain what it is, because it's not mine." so i dial the guy up and give him the phone. and the cop takes it and he asks the guy, he says, "what's in the baggie?" and then there's this long silence while the cop's listening. and then he hands me back the baggie and my phone and says, "okay, you're good." and so i say to the cop, i say, "well, what did he say was in the baggie?" and i'm sure you're wondering, right? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you won't believe this. you won't believe this.
and this is all true. this is all true. >> seth: because you can get in trouble if it's not. >> yeah, but it is. it was his mother's ashes. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: get out of here! get out of here! [ applause ] that is -- just a fantastic talk show story. i'm so glad we had you on. >> thank you. >> seth: nathan fielder, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: "nathan for you" airs thursdays on comedy central. two hour finale on november 9th. we'll be right back with colton dunn. in case you tell it again. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ where's gary? 'saved money on motorcycle insurance with geico. goin' up the country. later, gary' i have a motorcycle! wonderful. ♪ ♪ i'm goin' up the country, baby don't you wanna go? ♪ ♪ i'm goin' up the country, baby don't you wanna go? ♪ geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody! our next guest tonight is an actor and emmy-nominated writer for his work on the hit series "key & peele." he stars on the popular nbc comedy, "superstore," which airs thursday nights at 8:00 here on nbc. please welcome to the show my friend colton dunn, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: how are you, colton? >> good, man. how you doing? >> seth: good. we've known each other for years and years and years. >> a long time. 2001, i believe. >> seth: 2001. we met in amsterdam --
>> that's right. >> seth: because we both worked for a comedy theater called boom chicago. >> that's right, boom chicago. >> seth: a fantastic place. a lot of our friends got their start there. i was there before you. >> yeah. >> seth: you came after me. did you find -- i found a little bit of culture shock when i moved to amsterdam. >> oh, yeah? >> seth: how was it for you? >> i found a lot. a lot of culture shock. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what was most shocking to you culturally? >> let's see, probably the most shocking part of living in holland is they celebrate the holidays a little differently. >> seth: yeah. >> they start a little earlier. you know? like for them christmas kind of starts around the second week of december. >> seth: uh-huh. >> everybody starts putting up their decorations and having a lot of fun. right? so i'm riding into work on a bike, because of course everybody rides bikes. >> seth: there you go. >> and where we worked, it was still also a neighborhood, so there's little kids going to school same time i'm riding to work. but on this day in the holidays the kids all have black face on. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, like black face. >> seth: this is a -- this is a real thing. >> like, hey -- [ light laughter ]
i'm a little kid, you know. and it was weird. >> seth: yeah. >> and then they saw me and they'd go -- [ speaking in foreign language ] which means "black pete." [ light laughter ] and they were really happy about it. >> seth: yeah. they were happy to see black pete. >> yeah, see, 'cause the thing is is that in holland santa claus, he doesn't have little elves that help him deliver toys. he has straight-up slaves. [ light laughter ] and they portray those slaves by having white dutch people put on black face and run around. and the story goes if you're a bad kid, these slaves will throw you in a sack and take you back to spain. [ light laughter ] >> seth: it's a bummer story. >> it's a bummer story all around, especially for the slaves. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] and so what did you say to the children who were saying black pete to you? >> i didn't say much. i fought them. all of them. [ light laughter ] all of holland's children. >> seth: i remember you did a
sketch as a -- >> we did. actually, me and jordan peele -- >> seth: jordan peele from "key & peele." you guys played a couple of aggressive black petes. >> we have. [ scattered applause ] >> seth: and it was a fantastic sketch. and i think that -- >> that's how we fought back. we fought back with a rap song. >> seth: so you met jordan out there. >> i did. >> seth: jordan peele. and then you wrote for "key & peele." >> that's right. >> seth: and jordan, who wrote and directed the film, "get out" -- a fantastic horror film. >> that's right. did you guys see that? [ applause ] wow. >> seth: he -- do you remember? because he had that idea for years. do you remember the first time he told you about it? >> oh, yeah. i remember the first time he told it to me. and, you know, spoiler alert -- has something to do with black people getting their head cut off. and i was like, "what? [ light laughter ] you're going to make a whole movie about it?" and he was like, "yeah, man, i think i'm going do it." and he did it! >> seth: he did it. >> and he nailed it. >> seth: he fully nailed it. >> he nailed it. [ applause ] >> seth: so you guys -- so then you went and you wrote for "key & peele." >> i did. >> seth: and were there any sketches that sort of -- that
you worked on that came out of sort of working with people you've known for a long time? >> yeah. the best thing about working on a show like "key & peele" we were all just friends. and so a lot of sketches just came out of kind of hanging out. and you know how that is sort of in the sketch room. so one time i showed up to a meeting and there was no more chair for me to sit in. and so i just kind of leaned on this cabinet that was not very steady. and i'm not a little guy, so i probably shouldn't lean on unsteady cabinets. of course everyone's like, "hey, colton, why don't you just go grab a chair?" and i'm like, "nah, i'm good, i'm good. i'm gonna stand here." and they're like, "really, we think you should get the chair." "no, i'm cool, man. i don't wanna -- i don't -- i don't use chairs!" and of course we made a sketch about that. so if you can check out "proud thug." just put that in google, look up, and you'll see a sketch about a guy who refuses to sit in a chair. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's fantastic. that's how easy comedy writing could be on a good day. >> that's it -- boom. >> seth: when you're with your friends on a good day. so -- >> i typed that up and i was gone. slid down the dinosaur tail.
>> seth: you didn't need a seat. you were in and out. so you on "superstore," you play customer service. >> i do. >> seth: you do customer service. did you ever have a job like that in real life? >> oh, i did. you know, i actually -- i worked at a video store. and what a video store was is a store where people would go to -- [ light laughter ] and they'd rent a video and then they'd take it home. they'd watch it and then they'd take it back to me and i would put it on a shelf and somebody else would -- >> seth: now let's say there's a movie i really want to see and i come in and you don't have it. did you have another one that you could give me? >> i mean i would have all sorts of recommendation for other movies, maybe in a similar genre that you could rent. >> seth: gotcha. >> basically i was netflix -- >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> before netflix. >> seth: that's great. >> that's what i was. [ applause ] >> seth: and did you like your video store life? >> no. i mean, i liked the free movies that i got to watch, because again this was before you could just get free movies. >> seth: right. >> so i loved that. but the thing that connects me and garrett is he works in customer service and both of us
do not like customers and we don't like service. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] so you draw on that -- >> i draw on that strong experience. >> seth: well, man, it's great seeing you every week on tv. and it's great having you here in person. >> buddy, thanks for having me. >> seth: always such a delight. colton dunn, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "superstore," thursday nights at 8:00 here on nbc. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ t transplant... that's a whole different ballgame. i was in shock. i am very proud of the development of drugs that can prevent the rejection and prevent the recurrence of the original disease. i never felt i was going to die. we know so much about transplantation. and we're living longer. you cannot help but be inspired by the opportunities that a transplant would offer. my donor's mom says "you were meant to carry his story". sir jeremdilly, dilly.true friend of the crown. dilly, dilly! dilly, dilly!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to megyn kelly, nathan fielder, colton dunn everybody! sonny emory and the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hello there i'm carson daly with tonight's "last call" from hyde in west hollywood. we have an awesome show for you coming up. including, the music of vance joy, a spotlight on the un