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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 21, 2017 12:37am-1:38am PST

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5>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- amy sedaris, from "lady bird," writer and director greta gerwig, music from jessie reyez, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the white house has announced that president trump will pardon two turkeys at a ceremony tomorrow, despite the fact that both turkeys lied under oath about meeting with russian officials. [ laughter ]
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a republican operative who is in contact with the white house told "the washington post" that special counsel robert mueller's team is working through the staff like pac-man, which should be of concern to inky and blinky. [ laughter ] according to reports, donald trump jr. spoke briefly last year with a russian banker with ties to vladimir putin, while attending an event hosted by the nra. wait, hold on one second. don jr., okay. putin, nra! i won evil bingo! [ applause ] president trump has still not commented on allegations of sexual assault against alabama senate candidate roy moore. still? it's been two weeks. it usually only takes him 90 seconds to respond to something on twitter. in fact he's already responded to this joke. [ laughter and applause ]
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charles manson passed away last night at the age of 83, leaving trump scrambling to nominate a new head of his mental health task force. [ laughter and applause ] eric trump on friday tweeted photos of his visit to the white house, adding, quote, "it isn't quite as easy to visit donald trump in his office as in the old days, but we're so proud of him and the job he's doing to #maga." responded his father -- [ laughter ] the flagship location of macy's in new york this year will require children to schedule an appointment to sit on santa's lap. "no line to sit on this lap," said a man running for senate. [ laughter and applause ]
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hundreds of protesters gathered last night outside of last night's eagles/cowboys game and took a knee during the national anthem. and hundreds of protestors gathered at the browns' game to watch it. [ laughter ] tough times. tough times for the browns. and finally, today was former vice president joe biden's birthday, which explains why you couldn't get a seat at medieval times. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. she is one of our favorites. she stars in the new show "at home with amy sedaris," amy sedaris is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] great new show on trutv. she's a wonderful actress and the writer and director of a fantastic new film, "lady bird." greta gerwig is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from jessie reyez. so you're here on a wonderful, wonderful night for comedy and also, moving on, we wanted to address this. as republicans try to sell their
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tax plan to the american people, the trump white house seems to have settled on a slightly different message. vote for an accused sexual predator and leave american citizens imprisoned in chinese jails. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you might have heard that three ucla basketball players were arrested in china for shoplifting sunglasses. president trump helped negotiate for their release, as many presidents have done before him. and after they returned to the u.s., he tweeted, "do you think the three ucla basketball players will say 'thank you, president trump'? they were headed for ten years in jail." oh, my god, he's starting to sound like mean girl in eighth grade. [ light laughter ] "do you think becky will thank me for letting her sit with us at lunch? she was heading for ten days at the losers' table." [ light laughter ] also helping to keep american citizens out of communist prisons is part of your job. that's not above and beyond, that's eye level and right next to you. [ light laughter ] at this point i wouldn't be shocked if trump put a jar on his desk for tips. [ light laughter ]
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after that tweet the players did thank trump for doing his job, but the father of one of those players, lavar ball, wasn't as compliant. so when ball was asked about trump he said, "who? what was he over there for? don't tell me nothing. everybody wants to make it seem like he helped me out." this is the feud we've been waiting for. [ laughter ] this isn't marco rubio trying to win at donald trump's game. donald trump's game is lavar ball's game. and lavar ball's -- and lavar ball knows there's no better way to troll trump than pretending to not know who he is. [ laughter ] "who? donald trump? i'm sorry, i'm not familiar with that name. i get all my news from 'rosie' magazine." [ laughter ] and that, of course, did not sit well with our petulant manchild in chief. >> the president, as you can see there on the screen, tweeted this -- "now that the three basketball players are out of china and saved from years in jail, lavar ball, the father of liangelo --" liangelo ball -- "is unaccepting of what i did for his son and that shoplifting is no big deal.
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i should have left them in jail." >> seth: "i should have left them in jail." every time i think trump has hit rock bottom, he just bursts through the rock and keeps falling. [ laughter ] he probably got to china by falling through the center of the earth and popping out the other side. [ applause ] and while you might assume the president has better things to do with his time, he clearly remained obsessed with ball's comment all day. because six hours later he followed up with another tweet -- "shoplifting is a very big deal in china, as it should be. five to ten years in jail, but not to father lavar." [ light laughter ] so trump agrees with an authoritarian regime that stealing sunglasses should earn you ten years in jail. although, maybe trump's just anti-sunglasses in general, considering he doesn't even wear them to stare at an eclipse. [ laughter and applause ] not only are these tweets childish and embarrassing, they're also part of a disturbing pattern. trump is clearly a thug and a wannabe dictator who lashes out
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anyone who isn't sufficiently obedient. remember, one of his closest aides, omarosa, practically bragged that trump's critics would have to genuflect before him. >> every critic, every detractor will have to bow down to president trump. it's everyone who's ever doubted donald, whoever disagreed, whoever challenged him. it is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe. >> seth: and that music wasn't even added for dramatic effect, it just follows omarosa wherever she goes. [ laughter ] also, i'm pretty sure she stole that line from darth vader. here, i'll prove it. >> it is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe. >> no! >> seth: so now -- [ laughter and applause ] so now the list of people trump has attacked includes black nfl athletes, black college basketball players, a black congresswoman, and a mayor who's
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a woman of color. and who is on the list of people trump hasn't attacked? dictators, nazis, and an accused sexual predator who cosplays as creepy yosemite sam. [ laughter ] trump even found time on friday to tweet about the accusations against democratic senator al franken, who admitted to groping and kissing a los angeles radio host without her consent. now, as we said last week, franken's actions are horrifying, and while he's apologized, he will still have to face the consequences. in fact today, a second woman came forward to accuse franken of inappropriately touching her, telling cnn that he grabbed her buttocks while taking a photo at the minnesota state fair. she said, "you just feel gross, like ew, i wanna wash that off me." and you know it's bad when you're the grossest thing at a state fair. [ laughter ] that's where they deep fry twinkies. so franken's behavior is inexcusable, and democrats need to hold him accountable for it, but sexual harassment should be a nonpartisan issue. it's gross and cynical to exploit it for political gain while you've refused to condemn the abusers in your own party. trump still hasn't publicly disavowed his party's candidate for senate in alabama,
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roy moore, despite the fact that every day we get more and more evidence about how creepy moore's behavior was. as we told you last week, moore was banned from the gadsden mall. in fact, "the washington post" interviewed a woman who said moore approached her at the mall when she was a high school senior. and after she turned him down, moore called her while she was in school. a few days later, she said, she was in trigonometry class at gadsden high when she was summoned to the principal's office over the intercom in her classroom. she had a phone call. "i said, 'hello.' and the man on the other line said, 'gina, this is roy moore.' i was like, 'what?' he said, 'what are you doing?' i said, 'i'm in trig class.'" [ laughter ] man, my trig's not great, but i'm pretty sure in this case, sine-x equals disgusting [ bleep ] pervert. [ laughter and applause ] and yet despite -- despite these reports, the white house used to be telling alabamian's to vote for moore anyway so they can pass tax cuts. today white house counselor kellyanne conway went on fox to slam moore's democratic
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opponent, doug jones. and while she didn't explicitly say it, she seemed to be urging people to vote for moore. >> doug jones in alabama? folks, don't be fooled. he'll be a vote against tax cuts. he's weak on crime, weak on borders, he's strong on raising your taxes, he's terrible for property owners. >> so vote roy moore? >> and doug jones is a doctrinaire liberal which is why he's not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him. >> so vote roy moore? >> i'm telling you that we want the votes in -- in the -- in the senate to get this tax -- this tax bill through. >> seth: so according to kellyanne conway, there's now a lower bar of entry for the senate than a mall in alabama. "hey, creep. we told you. you're not welcome in this mall." "well, then i guess i'll be off to washington, d.c. where people aren't so picky." [ laughter ] now, if trump's behavior -- [ applause ] in general strikes you as the behavior of a moron, you're not alone. of course, his own secretary of state called him one in private and apparently he's not the only close aide with a dim view of the president's intelligence.
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because today it was reported that trump's national security advisor, h.r. mcmaster, mocked president trump's intelligence at a private dinner with a powerful tech ceo. mcmaster dismissed the president variously as an idiot and a dope with the intelligence of a kindergartner. [ light laughter ] and that is absurd, because even kindergartners know not to stare directly at the sun! [ laughter and applause ] this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with amy sedaris, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks" be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪"it's the little saint nick-♪ ♪little saint nick. it's the li--"♪ nailed it! ehhh, we'll work on it. take notes, son. number one: t-mobile gives you two iphone 8s for the price of one. one person gets an awesome gift, and so does the next guy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] also, so excited. this week, fred armisen is back with us. how are you doing, fred? [ cheers and applause ] >> fred: hi. >> seth: i'm always so happy to have you here, because when you're not here, we don't see each other and you're off doing other projects. and, i will be honest, sometimes you tell me about your projects and you have so many that i know are real. like, i know "portlandia," i know "you're here," i know the movies you do. but then other times i worry that you make up other things to impress us. and i just want to say, we're proud of you no matter what. you don't have to make up stuff. [ light laughter ] so -- like, for example, i heard
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you saying backstage that you were in the "justice league" movie that came out this weekend, but they cut out your part. >> fred: yes. >> seth: that's true? >> fred: i'm telling you it's true. >> seth: all right, so what was your part in the new "justice league" movie? >> fred: i played the part of gasoline. [ light laughter ] so what happens is, like, i play -- like i'm just like this gasoline and they put me like in the cars and stuff, you know the traffic scenes? >> seth: yeah? >> fred: so there's part where they're sort of like, i come out and i'm like, "yeah, i'm going to go to inside all the cars and i'm gonna be the gasoline for everyone." so -- >> seth: so you say that in character? [ light laughter ] >> fred: yes. so i'm sort of like this liquid figure. [ light laughter ] and it was a really good part. it was so good. we shot so many -- we did it over the course of, i don't know, two years, three years? [ laughter ] we shot it in london. >> seth: it just seems like a weird character to have in a "justice league" movie. because i think without it, you would just assume there was gasoline in the cars and you wouldn't wonder where it came from or whether it was a character. >> fred: that's what i said when i read the script. i'm like, "guys, i think everyone assumes that the cars are gonna have gasoline." but they're like, "no, this is great, it's like forward thinking."
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and i was like, okay. and we shot it. and i went to the premiere. >> seth: oh god. >> fred: with my grandmother, my mom. [ laughter ] my great grandmother was there. >> seth: oh gosh, wow. >> fred: and it was heart breaking to explain to them that i was cut out. >> seth: did they enjoy the film anyway? >> fred: they loved it. >> seth: great. who was your great grandmother's favorite character? >> fred: she liked, um, uh -- speedo? [ laughter ] >> seth: i really don't think you were in "justice league." give it for fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is a best-selling author and multitalented performer you know from series like "strangers with candy" and bojack horseman." her new show "at home with amy sedaris" airs on tuesdays on trutv. let's take a look. >> i was just roasting chestnuts over the open fire. it's part of an old family holiday recipe, and the lyrics to my favorite holiday song about nuts. i like to get the chestnut golden brown. perfect. now, while it's good and hot, i sandwich the nut between two
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graham crackers and a chocolate bar. scoop the chestnut on to the chocolate, so it helps melt it. put the hood back on. mmm. i call them, "snutties." [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome back to the show amy sedaris, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: hi. >> hi. >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good. i'm cheating. i'm bringing something -- i didn't tell you about it but it's like a show and tell moment. >> seth: oh, what is it? >> my friend todd oldham went to a flea market in texas and he found these fly swatters. >> seth: uh-huh. >> that somebody -- you just -- what you do is you take a fly swatter and then you just use embroidery thread and you decorate it. and then it's good like, for a sneeze guard maybe. when you're talking to someone who's close. or masquerade, right? >> seth: that's great. but then you don't use it as a fly swatter. >> no! you'd ruin it. >> seth: okay, gotcha. [ light laughter ] >> anyway, it's a good idea, right? >> seth: that's a wonderful idea. >> the holidays are approaching and it's inexpensive to make. >> seth: that's great.
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now, the reason i asked if you would use it on an insect is, i know you had some moth issues last time you were here. [ light laughter ] >> that's right. >> seth: you do taxidermy. and you had this taxidermied chipmunk. and the moths have been very unkind to it. >> yes. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] and it all happened overnight. >> seth: that happened in one night? >> they must have been planning it, because i looked up and i was like -- yeah. his name was waffles. i saved the crown. >> seth: that's nice. >> isn't that terrible? >> seth: that is terrible. >> and then they ate my squirrel. >> seth: they ate a squirrel as well? >> yeah. >> seth: and have you made any progress in stopping the moths? >> i found the nest. >> seth: you did. >> it was in my bedroom. >> seth: okay. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: where are -- are nests like up in the corner? >> it was under the carpet. i shouldn't even say. i took mushrooms one night, i was with my friend. i was like, "i think i know where the nest is." we found it under the carpet. i took an exacto blade, i was cutting the carpet. i was like, "wait a minute, we shouldn't be doing this on mushrooms." [ laughter ] so i put the knife away -- >> seth: that's good. >> went outside and then i took care of it the next day. i don't have a moth problem anymore. >> seth: that's great. but you do have a rug problem,
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it sounds like. not just -- >> oh, yeah. >> seth: not just from you, because we also talked about your rabbit tina. >> tina. >> seth: and she was chewing up furniture last time you were here. >> she chews everything, man. >> seth: she still at it? >> yeah, she's still at it. she digs and she burrouws. yeah, so i bought a new rug and it was expensive. and i have a friend who got me a deal on it. and then i picked up my mattress to vacuum underneath it, and this is what i find. >> seth: so she had -- she'd just eaten. [ audience aws ] that is -- it seems crazy that with your moth problem, you would bring another eater into the home. [ laughter ] >> can you believe that? she even went through the pad. >> seth: wow. >> but i highly recommend them as pets. they really are great pets. [ light laughter ] >> seth: they really are. you really like your rabbit pet. >> yeah, they're quiet. i like that they're prey animals and they can kick back and relax in your home. i like having that power. >> seth: oh that's nice. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: i never heard of rabbits are great so you can have power. [ light laughter ] >> well, i mean, yeah. normally, they always think they're gonna be eaten so they're all stressed out and they're -- you know. but she's not. she's kicked back and relaxed when she's not chewing and clawing. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you play -- so your show is about -- like you play a
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homemaker. but you play a bunch of different characters. >> i do. >> seth: i have some photos, and i would love you to just give me a little background on some of the characters you play. >> oh, okay. all right. >> seth: all right. so give us a little bit about -- >> that's patty hogg. [ light laughter ] she's the heir to the quarrel and hogg seed company. she's shorter than me, somehow. >> seth: oh, wow. [ light laughter ] that requires an incredible amount of acting to do different heights. >> yes, i mean -- yeah. isn't that great? and i wear a fake belly. >> seth: oh you wear a fake belly. this is -- so the nose, i have questions about. >> i've been doing that since i was three. you know where you take your nose up? well, i still do it and i have perfect skin for that. >> seth: oh, great. >> you got to have good skin to do that. >> seth: you have skin that's adhesive? >> i don't know, it's something about my skin. and i can keep it up there for hours. [ light laughter ] >> seth: it's good to know. >> and it feels good. gives it a bounce. [ light laughter ] >> seth: who do we got here? >> oh, that's the international wine lady, regional wine lady. >> seth: okay. >> and she sings a song. ♪ it's friday night i'm gonna get drunk i'm gonna get laid i'm gonna be late ♪ ♪ on monday oh, hello. [ laughter ] and i have a little alcoholic nose. >> seth: okay.
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and then this one seems very committed. >> yeah, he's my hobo. [ light laughter ] >> seth: everybody has to have a hobo. >> yeah, he hobo. he does things on the sly, you know. he's great. i do his voice. he sounds like my little brother. kind of talks up like this. hi, seth, how you doing? yeah. >> seth: so your little brother always talked up like that? >> he kinda talked like this, yeah. he gets accused for being a woman on the phone all the time. >> seth: oh, that's -- yeah. [ light laughter ] >> yes, ma'am. he just laughs. but sarah egan did all the makeup for those characters -- >> seth: sarah egan who works here? >> and now she works on this show. >> seth: yeah, she's wonderful. and i remember when she started here, she talked about what a delight it was to work with you. >> she's the best. now we need to negotiate because if we get picked up, i want her back. >> seth: i will say, like, this seems a far more interesting job to do makeup on than do this every day. >> i know. you don't even have any makeup on. >> seth: i haven't done hobo once since the show started. [ light laughter ] you mentioned your brother. holidays coming up. will you spend thanksgiving with your family? >> yes. we celebrate, we go to the beach in north carolina. my brother david bought us a house, which we call "the sea section." [ laughter ] we do a mediterranean thanksgiving, because my dad's 94 and we're greek. and so now we just make a big greek --
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>> seth: and any family traditions, other than the mediterranean? >> yes. i turn the living room into spa night. and i give everybody a facial. >> seth: okay. >> and i hire my sister in-law, who does all the work and i'm very abusive to her. [ laughter ] it's just for entertainment. and i never give her a cut of the money. and then my niece helps me with the invitations. and everyone just complains, you know what i mean? >> seth: oh, that's wonderful. [ light laughter ] >> but then they're sound asleep by the end of the end of the night, and i really don't know what i'm doing. but i mean, you know, i have good skin in my family. >> seth: yeah. >> no one ever moisturizes, you know? >> seth: right. they want that tape nose skin. >> yeah, they want the tape nose skin. [ light laughter ] i love doing it, it's great. >> seth: do you have any tips on entertaining during the holidays when you have people over? >> well, i always say, you know, just be prepared. and you know, there will be some accidents. but just take a polaroid picture of it and laugh at it in a few years. [ light laughter ] but i always hate it when you go to someone's house and they invite you for thanksgiving and you walk in and the raw turkey is sitting on the counter. and you're like, "damn it, i don't want to be here for five hours!" [ light laughter ] that's not fair. >> seth: no, it's not. >> that is not fair. and then they just encourage you
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to drink and then they have cheese balls and snacks. >> seth: that's the problem -- my biggest -- and i hold myself accountable. the amount of like, early dairy you eat on thanksgiving. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: like you know, it's like, "oh dinner's gonna be ready in two hours." and you're like, "well then i'll eat a pound of cheese and then i'll be very happy." [ laughter ] i'll be in a great mood later on. >> you're so right. it is a pound of cheese. >> seth: i hear that you -- you keep things in your fridge that are not food that you then gift? >> oh, i like to have some artwork in my refrigerator. >> seth: okay, so why -- why -- why? >> because a, it's always nice when you open your refrigerator and you see that cut off hand, you know, you get them at halloween stores. it's just a hand that's cut off, but they wrap it really nice? it's like from chop shop or something -- that name's bad. but it's in nice saran wrap. and then i have -- >> seth: so that's just a thing that you have that you want other people to see? or you take joy? >> well, i showed it to my godson. and i saw the look on his face and i just -- i just changed the subject. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> he was -- yeah, that was not cool. >> seth: that wasn't -- yeah. and that's not something he can unsee. >> no, i moved it to the freezer. it's cool. [ light laughter ]
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yeah, but it is nice when you open it up and you can see artwork. i have a nice fake milk carton, i have some fake butter boxes that i made. >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah. >> seth: it doesn't take up valuable fridge space? >> no. >> seth: oh, that's good. >> i just have lettuce in there for tina, really. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay, great. well, i don't know how to tell you this based on her carpet input, i don't know if she loves lettuce. [ light laughter ] >> i know, really high piles. >> seth: so you -- you've been on a lot of television shows. this is the first time you are running your own show. >> yes. >> seth: do you love it? >> i liked it, but it was like -- first thing, doing all those characters, i realized, wow, you know. i didn't realize i had to memorize both sides of the script, you know what i mean? >> seth: yeah. >> so that was like -- >> seth: right, because you interact with the characters themselves. >> right. then i'm like, "what was i thinking?" but you know what i learned most? i'm not kidding, it's this e-mail etiquette, you know that people have. >> seth: okay. >> i just learned how to reply all. [ light laughter ] or, you know, whose name goes first. and people pay attention to that stuff. it never even entered my mind to think about that kind of stuff. >> seth: what do you mean about reply all? you never had any reason until you had your own show? >> i just reply.
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i don't reply all. and then i hate it when people reply all and then you open your e-mail, it's like "k." or, "thanks, awesome." [ light laughter ] don't bother me. >> seth: yeah. >> my mom's motto is don't bother other people. >> seth: in general? >> i think that's a good -- yeah, don't bother other people. >> seth: was that something when you were kids? >> you get all excited, you are. like there's something -- >> seth: well, no. no, i don't mean there's something deep ,but like, as kids, were you under instructions not to be bother to people? >> well, no. my mom -- yeah, you just don't bother -- we could bother each other, i guess. and we could bother our parents. we just don't bother. you know, when someone comes to your house and says, "do you have any scissors?" you're like, "you know i do." [ laughter ] i have a craft book out. just ask me where they are, don't ask me if i have them there. it just puts me in a bad mood and i want to stab them with it, you know? [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i have another one that i can tell you -- >> oh. >> seth: is when people say, can i ask you a question? >> oh, yeah. >> seth: 'cause that's already a question. >> yes, yes, right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so they've already taken the leap of asking me a question. >> yeah, right. >> seth: or else they wouldn't have said it. >> and then you ask and then they say, "no you cannot." all right, that's some whitney houston, you know. and she does that in the documentary. >> seth: oh she does? >> yeah, yeah, yeah.
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it's a great documentary. >> seth: the whitney houston documentary? >> yeah, it's fun. >> seth: is it recent? >> yeah, it's recent. and the george michael one. i'm in documentary mode. >> seth: the george michael one i've heard is fantastic. >> yeah, it really is. i think they leave some stuff out, but i guess you have to. >> seth: yeah. >> but i like it because it's about a singer, you know? just out there by themselves performing. that's interesting. but i guess you do it every night. >> seth: not like george michael or whitney houston. [ laughter ] >> come on, come on. >> seth: just on a talent level, like, that's the thing. people who said they watched the george michael documentary were overwhelmed by exactly how talented he was. >> yeah, and how ambitious. >> seth: yeah. >> like when you're little, be like, "i want to be a big star." >> seth: yeah. i guess i wouldn't, i feel like i'd be less interested in watching a documentary about comedians. >> right, right, right. >> seth: because then i would -- anybody who said -- any time i would see somebody working really hard, i'd be like, "oh, i have to work harder." >> i know, right? >> seth: whereas, you watch whitney houston or george michael and be like, "oh, i never had that voice." i would never, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> wow, what a voice. >> seth: yeah. >> what a voice. >> seth: also, he's somebody who i did not quite understand. when he sadly passed away, i had no sense of what a wonderful person he was. >> yeah, same here. >> seth: i feel like i missed all that. and then i felt really bad. but also, you know, very impressed with the kind of guy he was. >> plus, he passed away on christmas day. >> seth: i didn't realize that.
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>> christmas day, i guess last year. your parents are coming to town for thanksgiving? >> seth: my parents are going to come to town. they're going to be on this show on tursday. >> okay, and then will you go to new hampshire to have thanksgiving? >> seth: no, they're gonna stay here in the city. >> oh, will you go to a restaurant or you gonna cook? >> seth: no, we're gonna have them at our apartment. >> oh, and you're gonna cook or did you -- >> seth: my wife's gonna cook. >> are you gonna do anything? >> seth: i'm not gonna do anything, because i'm doing a show. >> okay, that's okay. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> oh, oh, so you're not gonna do anything ahead of time or when you get home, you have one thing to do? nothing. you're off the hook. >> seth: i feel like the way you're saying this makes me feel really bad about it. [ laughter ] >> no, no. i think that's great. i'm not doing any cooking. i'm not gonna do anything either. you know. >> seth: i know, but i will. i'll try to find one thing. maybe i'll bring like a cheese ball or something. [ laughter ] >> yeah, that'd be great. >> seth: thanks for being here. it's always such a pleasure to see you. >> no, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: amy sedaris, everybody. "at home with amy sedaris" airs tuesdays on trutv. we'll be right back with greta gerwig. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a golden globe-nominated actress who you know from such films as "20th century women" and "francis ha." she both wrote and directed the
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film "lady bird," which is playing in select cities now. let's take a look. >> i want to go where culture is, like new york -- >> but how in the world did i raise such a snob? >> or at least connecticut or new hampshire, where writers live in the woods. >> you wouldn't get into those schools anyway. >> mom! >> you can't even pass your driver's test. >> because you wouldn't let me practice enough. >> the way that you work, or the that way you don't work, you're not even worth state tuition, christine. >> my name is lady bird. >> well, actually it's not, and it's ridiculous because you name is christine. >> call me lady bird, like you said you would. >> just -- you should just go to city college. you know, with your work ethic just go to city college and then to jail, and then back to city college and then maybe you'd learn to pull yourself up and not expect everybody to do every -- ahh! [ laughter ] >> seth: she's fine. please welcome back to the show greta gerwig, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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>> seth: welcome back. >> thank you. thank you for having me. >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. congratulations, the film is wonderful. >> thank you. >> seth: and you wrote it -- >> mm-hmm. >> seth: and i heard -- once you finished writing it, you knew you wanted to direct it? >> yeah, i've always wanted to be a writer/director. but i didn't go to film school. so i sort of used every time i was on a movie set to take notes, and it became my film school. and when i had this script i was like, "i think -- i think now is the time. if you don't do it now, you'll never get in the pool." >> seth: i'm so glad you did. but there were moments in your youth, in your early days of acting and being on stage where you realized that directing might be up your alley. >> yes, in retrospect -- in retrospect there were signs. one of the signs was i was -- i did a lot of dance when i was a child, and i was in a tap recital. and we were all in bee costumes, and i was about six years old. and there's a video of me looking at a girl who i didn't feel was doing it as well as everybody else and i just shove her off stage. [ laughter ] and then i tapped back on.
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and i was like, sort of, "nothing to see here." [ laughter ] she was just ruining the stage picture. but yeah, there was like, looking back, i was, you know, i was a bossy kid. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: did you have -- this film, the characters have a love of high school theater. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: and it strikes me that that must have been true of you? >> oh, i -- yeah, musical theater i loved. i mean, i loved theater, i loved musicals. and my love was greater than my talent. >> seth: oh, that's always sad. >> yes. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it was. >> seth: did you -- do you have a formative memory of your high school theater days? >> well, i mean, i have an early memory of coming to new york city and i saw -- my dad was working here. i saw "42nd street" with jerry orbach. >> seth: fantastic. >> and i saw "cats" with cats. [ laughter ] >> seth: the original "cats"? you saw -- >> all the cats. [ laughter ] and then i saw "gypsy," the musical about gypsy rose lee, who was a famous stripper, which was maybe not totally appropriate for me at that
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moment. but there was a stripper who played the trumpet, and it combined my two favorite things -- sparkly bras and loud instruments. [ laughter ] but i -- i just -- i just loved it. i loved the rows and rows of dancers and the whole thing. >> seth: i also -- we used to come in and see shows, and i saw "starlight express" which is another show you've seen. >> oh, "starlight express." anybody who doesn't know, it's about trains. >> seth: yeah. >> it's wonderful. >> seth: but everyone -- [ laughter ] that i feel like is underselling that how they -- >> yeah. >> seth: how they sort of humanize trains is it's people on roller skates. >> roller states. >> seth: yeah. >> yes. and i wanted to do a production of "starlight express" in my kindergarten. [ light laughter ] which -- >> seth: seems like there's a lot of bars to entry for that, yeah. >> so many. the first was nobody knew what it was or cared. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> but the second one was, i remember standing in my play -- like, the pre -- the kindergarten playground and it
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was all gravel. i was like, "oh, no, how are we going to problem solve this? like, how will they skate on gravel?" [ light laughter ] and this was the problem that was only existing in my head. >> seth: right. >> nobody was paying attention. >> seth: yeah, so definitely you were cut out to direct. >> yes. >> seth: though, i think that is what you're telling us. >> yes. >> seth: so obviously when you direct a film like this you have to watch it over and over and over again. >> hmm. >> seth: but you watched it screening in sacramento, where you're from. >> yes. >> seth: where the film takes place? >> yes. >> seth: was that -- did that feel like a completion of something? >> yes, it was like -- it's like "it's a wonderful life," but it's my life. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and it was in front of me. it was my -- my whole family was there, my second grade teacher was there, my first two drama teachers in high school. the mayor of sacramento, my first crush and his dad. [ laughter ] it was, like -- >> seth: that's great. >> everybody i've ever known. >> seth: did it -- was it satisfying to people? because there's always that fear of when you're telling -- >> yeah. >> seth: obviously you're telling story -- >> yeah. >> seth: but it takes place in a place that's their story as well. >> yeah. >> seth: was everybody
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satisfied? >> yeah it was -- i mean, it was incredibly emotional, and also people laughed at things in sacramento that will never get laughs anywhere else. but they, like, know what it is. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so it made me -- it was -- it was -- i don't think i'll ever beat that experience of watching the film. >> seth: one of the reasons that makes sense to me, both that you would write and want to direct it, is it's so personal, and one of the things that was interesting to me is you obviously set it closer to when you grew up? >> yeah. >> seth: and so no cell phones, which was such a fun thing to watch, a high school movie where cell phones is not a plot point. >> i know. you could not know where someone was. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> it's amazing. >> seth: yeah, and so much more helpful for storytelling that you -- >> yes. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. for any story, it's good to not know where anyone is. >> seth: yeah. >> it's a good thing. >> seth: well, because usually huge plot points are either that person showing up or -- >> yes. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. so, no, it was -- i actually -- i like, on my film sets and now i can say that, my one film set but -- i, like -- nobody has cell phones anyway. i don't like having cell phones on set because i think it helps the actors to concentrate. but i had a young cast, like, you know, 18-22. >> seth: yeah.
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>> there were a lot of young people and everyone was like, "good luck with that." like, "they'll never give up those phones," but i sold it to them as being about it's an acting thing. >> seth: oh, and they bought in? >> and i was like -- yeah. and i was like, "this is for your acting." [ laughter ] and they're like, "how great!" >> seth: you also -- i thought this was really cool. you have people -- you had your crew wear name tags? >> yes. >> seth: and not just their name, there would be a different question -- >> yeah. >> seth: a different answer every day? >> yeah, well, there was a -- i had everyone wear name tags because i fell like for actors, especially, if you're coming in for like a day or two days, it's hard to get to know everyone and it made everybody a person. so i had a name tag, everybody had a name tag. and then our -- there was a p.a. who was wonderful, dayna, who came up with the question of the day everyday. and it would be a trivia question or sort of like a conversation starter, like, "what was your go-to karaoke song?" or "what what would you do if you didn't do this?" or "what is a movie that you know you should like but you don't?" >> seth: what's a movie that you know you should like but you don't? >> "breakfast at tiffany's." >> seth: oh, wow!
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[ audience aws ] [ laughter ] it's so beautiful, but there's something about it that gives me the creeps. >> seth: yeah. >> and i don't -- [ laughter ] know what it is. i mean, audrey hepburn is glorious and i -- but it's just true -- >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: look, if you're creeped out, you're creeped out, that's just -- there's no getting around that. >> i really think that is true. >> seth: another thing that strikes me as it was very personal was the music choices. >> yes. >> seth: for those who don't know, when there's a song you really want in a movie, you have to get permission to use it. >> yeah. >> seth: and you personally reached out to some people via letters? >> yes, i wrote some letters. >> seth: like, for example, there's -- and i do feel like these songs were very -- they kind of had to be those songs. >> yes, they had to -- i had written them into the script, they were very specifically those songs. >> seth: and so you wrote alanis morissette -- >> yes. >> seth: a nice letter. and what were some of your selling points to her? >> well, so, "i have been a fan of yours my whole life. the very first cassette tape i ever bought was 'jagged little pill.' i would listen to 'perfect' over and over in my living room memorizing the lyrics. i remember bringing that same
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cassette to a sleepover party where we all played our favorite songs for each other. i played 'hand in my pocket' because my mother told me that 'perfect' might be a little bit too heavy for a fifth grade slumber party." [ laughter ] "i saw the film 'dogma' because i read that you played god, which seemed totally fitting to me." >> seth: yeah, and you think "breakfast at tiffany's" is creepy? >> yeah, i know. [ laughter ] this is an example of my creepiness. >> seth: no, but this was really great. wait, you have to -- you wrote dave matthews? >> yes. >> seth: and obviously you've moved on -- i like that you've moved on from -- >> yeah. >> seth: cassettes to cds. because you knew you couldn't tell him it was his first cassette? >> yeah, this is --i say, "these were my very first cd purchases. [ laughter ] and i made my dad take me to see you and your band perform when you came to sacramento." so -- and i said -- i said that the song "crash into me," which is the song in the movie, was the most romantic song ever, underlined. [ laughter ] so i -- and i was --
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and then i said, "thank you so much for considering the request. i wish i could go back in time and tell my 16-year-old self that this moment was coming. she'd never believe me, but truth be told, my 32-year-old self can hardly believe it either." [ laughter ] >> seth: i like that the moment you can't believe is that you're writing him a letter. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> i can't believe it. can't believe my letter. >> seth: but -- and justin timberlake, as well, and they all said, "yes." was that -- >> yes! oh, the justin timberlake -- that has a really awkward beginning. >> seth: oh, yeah, let's -- >> yeah. >> seth: i got to hear it. >> yeah. >> seth: like, you're a -- >> okay, so -- >> seth: i like that you're embracing your awkwardness. >> okay, so, "dear mr. timberlake -- [ laughter ] i mean, what can i say? you're justin timberlake. [ laughter ] you were the soundtrack to my adolescence. your rise corresponded exactly with my very awkward puberty." [ laughter ] >> and then it just gets worse. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: "i pretty much wouldn't be an adult without you." >> yeah. >> seth: that's the nicest thing you could say to anyone. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: that's heartbreak -- when your parents -- when they
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hear that they'll be heartbroken. >> they'll be like, "this was justin timberlake's doing? [ laughter ] what were we doing all that time?" >> seth: well, i'm glad it paid off. >> yes. >> seth: because it's hard now to imagine the film without those songs. >> yeah. >> seth: and congratulations on making such a beautiful film. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> seth: greta gerwig, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "lady bird" is in select theaters now and will open nationwide this wednesday. we'll be right back with music from jessie reyez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ so... you like it. little bit. nothing gets a reaction like a gift from kay jewelers. where everything is 25% off. save 25% off all rings, all necklaces, and all bracelets. that's 25% off everything! november 17th through 26th. at kay, the #1 jewelry store in america. dad? ♪ every kiss begins with kay
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over cable for 17 years running. but some people still like cable. just like some people like wet grocery bags. getting a bad haircut. overcrowded trains. turnstiles that don't turn. and spilling coffee on themselves. but for everyone else, there's directv. for #1 rated customer satisfaction over cable, switch to directv. and for a limited time get a $100 reward card. call 1-800-directv credit card skimmers have been found. this time at a gas station in gilroy. that story is updated on our website. and are you headed out of town for thanksgiving? rain or shine? chief meteoroligist jeff ranieri is tweeting his updated forecast. our next newscast is
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: with over 60 million streams worldwide, my next guest is one of 2017's breakout musical acts. performing "gatekeeper," please welcome to the show, jessie reyez, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ twenty million dollars in a car girl tie your hair up if you wanna be a star ♪ ♪ left right left right left right right right thirty million people want a shot ♪ ♪ how much would it take for you to spread those legs apart left right left right ♪ ♪ left right right right oh i'm the gatekeeper spread your legs open up you could be famous ♪ ♪ if you come up anywhere else i'll erase you drink up bitch we got champagne by the cases ♪ ♪ don't you know don't you know we are the gatekeepers spread your legs open up ♪ ♪ you could be famous you know we're holding the dreams that you're chasing you know you're supposed to ♪ ♪ get drunk and get naked twenty million dollars in a car girl tie your hair up if you wanna be a star ♪ ♪ left right left right left right right right
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thirty million people want a shot ♪ ♪ how much would it take for you to spread those legs apart left right left right ♪ ♪ left right right right oh i'm the gatekeeper spread your legs open up you could be famous ♪ ♪ wait 'til five years down the road and you're failing keep these regular dudes ♪ ♪ that are nameless don't you know don't you know we are the gatekeepers ♪ ♪ spread your legs open up you could be famous crawl on your knees don't you know what ♪ ♪ your place is got gold on my girl don't you wanna taste it ♪ ♪ twenty million dollars in a car girl tie your hair up if you wanna be a star ♪ ♪ left right left right left right right right and thirty million people want a shot ♪ ♪ how much would it take for you to spread those legs apart left right left right ♪
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♪ left right right right we are the gatekeepers spread your legs open up ♪ ♪ you could be famous crawl on your knees don't you know what your place is ♪ ♪ know what your place is know what your place is we are the gatekeepers spread your legs open up ♪ ♪ you could be famous crawl on your knees don't you know what your place is ♪ ♪ know what your place is know what your place is twenty million dollars in a car ♪ ♪ girl tie your hair up if you wanna be a star a star a star ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: jessie reyez, everybody! the ep "kiddo" is out now, and head over to for a performance of the song "figures." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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except for every ladies' night. vegetarian... only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. so whatever you throw in the bag... stays in the bag. be happy, it's glad. this is google home mini. it's got the google assistant in it, so it's super helpful. watch this: hey google, good morning. good morning, claire. it's 72 and sunny. don't forget to wear some sunscreen. oh, that's nice. it'll also read you the news, look up traffic, and tell you: your first meeting is at 9am. and you know how sometimes you're in bed and you can't get out of it until you hear that one song that: ok, playing your get out of bed playlist. (nants ingonyama / lion king song plays) ♪ yeah, it can do that too. it's google home mini
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and the rest of the google home family.
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well it's a perfect nespresso hold on a second.orge. mmm. ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"] hey there. want a lift? ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ have a nice ride. ♪ how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? what if home security was different? what if it looked different? what if the measure of working, was that you never had to think about it.
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♪ what if it was so easy to use, you actually used it. [alarm] you have 3 minutes to exit. what if it gave you time, and what you really need from home security. a sense of security. ♪ ♪ >> this week on "late night with seth meyers." chris cuomo, danielle brooks, music from daniel ceasar. and join us thursday for a very special meyers family thanksgiving. head over to itunes to subscribe to the "late night with seth meyers" podcast. you'll get "a closer look" and more downloaded right to your phone. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to amy sedaris, greta gerwig, jessie reyez, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] fred armisen and the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening. i'm carson daly. welcome to "last call" tonight. we've got another killer lineup for you, so let's kick things off right now with tonight's "last call" spotlight. have a look. ♪


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