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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 29, 2017 12:37am-1:38am PST

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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- saoirse ronan! from "the marvelous mrs. maisel," actress rachel brosnahan. comedian michelle wolf. featuring the 8g band with will dorsey jr. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. newt gingrich recently said that the best way to communicate with president trump is through the fox news shows "fox & friends" and "hannity." while the worst way to communicate with trump is to marry him. [ laughter ]
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president trump commented on north korea's missile launch today, saying, quote, "we'll take care of it." that's it? [ laughter ] i have to say, i don't find it comforting that the president talked about enemy missiles the same way a dermatologist talks about a weird mole. [ laughter ] "yeah, we'll take care of it. you got a couple minutes?" president trump spoke to the press today between two empty chairs designated for democratic leaders, chuck schumer and nancy pelosi after they pulled out of a meeting with him. look at him. he looks like the guy who shows up early to your dinner party while you're still slicing bell peppers. [ laughter ] "do you want any help in there? are there any cheese and crackers?" [ laughter ] president trump tweeted this morning that nfl stadiums are having a very hard time filling up due to recent national anthem protests. "yes, that's why," said the cleveland browns. [ laughter ]
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people are mad about the protests. the 2018 grammy award nominees were announced today and jay-z beat everyone with eight nominations. but can anyone beat jay-z? [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] right. always forget that. bernie sanders was nominated for a grammy today for the audio book of "our revolution: a future to believe in." he was nominated in the shouted word category. [ cheers and applause ] "chapter one!" the top-selling items of cyber monday this year included the nintendo switch, apple air pods and the popular children's toy, hatchimals, while this year's least popular toy is tickle me harvey. [ cheers and applause ]
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vice president mike pence announced today that he will travel to israel next month to address its legislative body. and this is scary, while he's out of the country, trump will be in charge. [ laughter ] eric trump tweeted today that he found it ironic that an abc reporter was insulted that president trump called senator elizabeth warren pocahontas, when his parent company, disney, profited off the 1995 movie of the same name. he also found it very ironic that "pocahontas" was the movie his father took ivanka to see and not him and also why doesn't his father ever return his calls? [ laughter ] a teacher in indiana was arrested this week for allegedly snorting cocaine in her classroom. but on the plus side, she covered the whole industrial age in one period. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's right. an indiana teacher was arrested after snorting cocaine in an empty classroom. that's crazy!
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a teacher who can afford cocaine? [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we've got a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] she is the star of the simply fantastic new film, "lady bird," saoirse ronan is here tonight, you guys. [ applause ] she's the star of the fantastic new series on amazon prime, "the marvelous mrs. maisel," rachel brosnahan is here. fantastic actress. [ cheers and applause ] and her new stand-up special, "nice lady" premiers on hbo this weekend. michelle wolf, one of our favorites -- [ cheers and applause ] -- is you're here tonight, so you're here on a great night. white house press secretary, sarah huckabee sanders has been holding a lot of press briefings lately, but i don't think all the questions we need answered have been asked. so we decided to hold another one right here, right now. that's right, sarah huckabee sanders and the "late night" press corps are here in our studio and ready to go. so without further ado, it's time for the "late night" white house press briefing. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: yes, miss sanders, miss sanders. miss sanders, yes, yes, thank you. seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers." secretary sanders, what are the most terrifying nine words in the english language? >> the president will still be here in five years. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: next question. what does trump ask for when he goes into super cuts? >> upside-down and inside-out. [ applause ] >> seth: secretary sanders, did you have a nice thanksgiving? >> i want to share a few things that i'm thankful for. and i think it would be nice for you guys to do so, as well. >> seth: okay, i'm thankful we can use clever editing to make this nightmare of an administration sound silly. >> you're not fixing the problem. you're only making things worse. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's fair. what did eric trump say when he showed up for thanksgiving dinner?
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>> happy halloween. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so close. so close. when was the last time someone tried to drump -- tried to jump the white house fence and who was it? >> this afternoon, the first lady and barron trump. [ laughter ] >> seth: if melania could trade places with any person, who would it be? >> all of us in this room and across this country. >> seth: but given her choice, what would be melania's dream job? >> the single mother. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: if i can switch the focus to the democratic party for a second, how did a young bernie sanders first arrive in washington, d.c.? >> via horse-drawn wagon. [ laughter ] >> seth: how often does the president lie on twitter? >> for the third or fourth time, just today, as well as 10 or 15
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times on both thursday and friday of last week. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: how would you describe ivanka? >> very basic. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> seth: what does paul ryan think about while he's having sex? >> president reagan's 1981 tax cuts. [ laughter ] >> seth: who is worse, bill cosby or bill o'reilly? >> both bills achieved the president's priorities. [ laughter ] >> seth: who do you call when steve bannon gets loose and is running around the white house? >> the fish and wildlife service. [ laughter ] >> seth: how does the president's urologist describe donald trump? >> a small business owner. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: well, it looks like we're out of time. so on behalf of the rest of the press corps, have a great night. we'll be right back with saoirse ronan. [ cheers and applause ]
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and see how affordable renters insurance can be. ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight on drums, he's from the iconic metal band body count, who were just nominated for a grammy this morning. congratulations. the latest album "blood lust" is out now. and for more information, go to will dorsey jr., everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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congrats on the nomination, that's awesome. >> thank you. >> seth: our first guest is an academy award nominee best known for her roles in "brooklyn" and "atonement." she'll be hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest u2. and she is currently starring in the fantastic film "lady bird" in theaters everywhere. let's take a look. >> i'm sorry that you're jealous. >> jen is a moron. you know? >> she's not. she's in a.p. calculus. >> she's a moron in a deeper sense. >> you don't even know her. >> miss patty assigned you a role, by the way. you just never showed up to claim it. >> what role? >> the tempest! >> there is no role of the tempest! >> it is the titular role! >> no. it's a made-up thing so we can all participate. >> you can't do anything unless you're the center of attention, can you? >> yeah, well you know your mom's tits? they're fake. totally fake. >> she made one bad decision at 19! >> two bad decisions. >> seth: please welcome to the show, saoirse ronan everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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>> seth: welcome. >> thank you so much. >> seth: so happy to have you here. >> aw. >> seth: this is a very short commute for you today, because you were down the hall getting ready to host "saturday night live." >> i'm down the hall. yeah. >> seth: how is it feeling so far? >> it's -- it's mental. >> seth: yeah. >> like, it's -- it moves so quickly. it's amazing. we started yesterday. and i met everyone and went into lorne's office. and all i talked about was the goldfish that he had in his tank because i didn't know what else to do. i was like, "oh, look at the great view out your window." >> seth: i wonder how many times over the last 40-plus years he's had people panic and just start talking about his fish. >> i honestly don't know what i said. >> seth: yeah. >> but, yeah. it's great. and it's also great that you're here and there's always, like, so much going on. >> seth: there is a lot going on in the building. and it's a very special "snl." i want to know if it's special
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for you, because it's very irish-themed. you're the host and u2 is the musical guest. >> yeah. >> seth: are you proud to be part of this irish themed "snl" week? >> yeah, it feels like irish are taking over "snl." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> for the whole week. as we should. [ cheers and applause ] it's about time. >> seth: this has long been feared in new york. and now it's coming to pass. [ light laughter ] >> you knew it was going to happen. >> seth: yeah. >> one day in new york. >> seth: there were like -- in the early 1900s, that's when we thought it was going to happen. >> yeah. >> seth: and now, here it is. >> there have been meetings between bono and myself. >> seth: yeah. do you feel a connection between you two? did you care a great deal about them, being from ireland? >> yeah, absolutely. i mean, i love their music. and i know them a little bit. and they're amazing. and i think the great thing like about irish people, even like well-known irish people, is that we're all just very, very familiar with each other. so, like, the first time i met them, it was like, "oh, geez. how's it going? how is the family?" and like, i've never met these people before. [ laughter ] but, no, there's a huge sense of, like, national pride of them. because they're our biggest success story. so to get to do the show with them is great.
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>> seth: that's really awesome. now did you -- were you a fan of the show? do you have a favorite "snl" character sketch over the years? >> i loved -- i mean, i loved all of the sketches that you wrote. >> seth: oh, please, don't. [ laughter ] >> every -- >> seth: this is some real -- >> -- single one. >> seth: irish charm happening right here. >> all your sketches -- >> seth: thank you. thank you. >> are so smart. >> seth: you know, i thought because you seem really smart. and i thought that maybe mine would be your favorite. >> i get it. i get it. only smart people get it. you know? >> seth: there were nights were definitely only smart people got it. and they were elsewhere. [ laughter ] >> no, i love -- i love all of kristin wiig's sketches. >> seth: she's the best. >> so, she's the best. so, target lady and sue and penelope -- "just kidding." they're all so good. and the cowbell, obviously. like, there's so many great sketches. the californians is probably one of my favorites. >> seth: that's fantastic. there you go. so you have a lot of favorites. >> i have so many favorites. >> seth: so i want to ask -- so, in this film you play an american high school student. and it's very much about an american high school. even though it takes place in sacramento, i feel like it will
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feel like everybody's high school who grew up in this country. you obviously did not grow up here. how did you connect to the idea of american high school? what did you know of it? did you know it from pop culture? >> yeah, like, "saved by the bell." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and that's how it is in high school. >> seth: i will say i got a real "saved by the bell" vibe off your acting. >> did you? [ laughter ] "hey, how's it going?" "oh, no, class!" yeah, i think everyone at home -- everyone outside of america, pretty much definitely in the western world obviously grows up with american pop culture. so "saved by the bell" and "sabrina the teenage witch" and "that's so raven." [ laughter ] i know. i thought i was psychic for so long. [ light laughter ] genuinely, when i was a kid i used to do the look and i thought -- >> seth: is that from the show "that's so raven"? >> that's from "that's so raven." yeah, do you not know "that's so raven"? >> seth: no, i kind of missed "that's so raven." [ laughter ] i mean, i'm familiar -- >> it's a classic. >> seth: yeah, i think i aged out of it. i think, in my defense, if i
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told people it was a show i watched it would have been creepy. >> it would have been more creepy. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: so beanie feldstein, your co-star who was in that clip, who is absolutely wonderful. >> yeah, she's amazing. >> seth: she was saying, because she was here, that you guys had to -- because it takes place in a catholic school, you had to teach her catholicism. you had to teach her the hail mary. and she had to teach you -- >> from start to finish. yeah. >> seth: from start to finish. she didn't know any of it? >> no, well, i mean, beanie's jewish. >> seth: yeah. >> and had no way -- she had no idea what -- i don't know if she really knew like where the hail mary started or finished. so she taught me the pledge of allegiance. [ laughter ] because i didn't know that. and i in turn taught her the hail mary. >> seth: that seems a pretty fair trade. >> as a girl who grew up catholic, i felt like that was all i could offer. [ laughter ] let me just sit you down. and i'll teach you the ropes. >> seth: what do you think was harder to remember, the pledge of allegiance or the hail mary? >> for me? >> seth: yeah. well, no, for -- do you feel like -- [ laughter ] >> i think the pledge of allegiance is harder. >> seth: i think the pledge of allegiance might be harder. but that's because the hail mary is like drilled into me. >> seth: yeah, that's true.
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>> and you say it as well for any -- any catholics in the audience? any catholic that -- there's no catholics in here. [ laughter ] no but, you know, at home like, you do a prayer in the morning, at school. you do you it, like, before you start your lessons. you do it for break. then you do it for lunch time. then you do it before you leave. so you're doing it every day, it becomes so quick and sing-songy that you don't really listen to what you're saying any more. >> seth: yeah. i would have argued that most american kids aren't thinking about america too much during the pledge of allegiance either. >> sure. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i think they're using that as the last time to like, just think about the day before they have to start listening to other stuff. >> that's what we do with the prayers. >> seth: yeah. >> you know what i know instead? i don't know the pledge of allegiance, but the school of rock version. >> seth: oh, right. [ laughter ] >> i pledge allegiance to the band of mr. shneebly. [ laughter ] that's the one i knew. >> seth: well, there you go. that's close enough. >> yeah. >> seth: certainly close enough. [ applause ] this is a fantastic, beautiful film about a mother and a daughter -- >> yeah.
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>> seth: and laurie metcalf is fantastic. >> she's amazing. >> seth: always fantastic. she's really great in this. did you -- have you watched it with your mother yet? is it something that she enjoyed? >> i did. yeah. the first person i watched it with was one of my best mates. and we -- i was so nervous going in to watch it. and i said, you know, "i think we should have some alcohol before we watch the film. [ light laughter ] i think that's a good idea." and with the result, we were just like an emotional wreck. and then i watched it with my mom a couple weeks later. and i said, "you know, let's go to the cinema to see it. because i want to see it with real people and a real audience," and stuff. and we went in, and i was like getting prepared to sort of like, you know, keep my head down. >> seth: sure. >> in case anyone would see or clock that it was me or whatever. just 'cause they are going to see the film. and i went in, and there was like six people in the theatre. [ laughter ] i was like, "oh, it's going to be packed." there was like literally six people there. none of them recognized me. >> seth: did you then, out of -- did you start sort of desperately trying to get noticed?
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>> yeah, this is a good film, right? [ laughter ] yeah, it was fine. >> seth: but your mother enjoyed it? >> she loved it. she loved it. and i think it was -- it really, really touched her that laurie was just as convincing as she was. because i think it's, like -- you know, it's not -- it's not a relationship that's celebrated or honored very often, the relationship between a mother and daughter, especially, i think, or mother and her child. and my mom and i are so close. so i think to see that be so honest in the film was what really got her. >> seth: it's really wonderful. there are so many -- and i only know this now through my wife and her mother. >> right. >> seth: because i spend a lot of time with them. like, how they can just go -- they can turn 180 degrees so quickly. to like just being so in love and then they fight in a way that i assume we'll never see her again. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: and then the next morning -- >> that's ladies for you. >> seth: like, they're having breakfast together. and i'm like, "all right." >> like, what are you talking about? everything is fine. >> seth: everything is fine.
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like, oh, wow, because i -- that was very traumatic for me. [ laughter ] >> so you're still getting over the day before. >> seth: yeah. i'm like, oh, i'm sorry. i thought you were both horrible people. and now -- >> i love you both so much. >> seth: it seems like -- yeah, i love you, and i'm so happy you're here. yeah. i want to ask, you were drawn to this pretty early on, performing. you were in a film when you were six years old? >> i was in a film when i was six years old. it was like -- it was a short film. >> and it was like quite, art house and weird. >> seth: and even as a six-year-old, you knew this? >> no, in hindsight i know it. >> seth: okay. >> because my dad is an actor, as well. and he just needed a kid, and they couldn't get anyone else to do it. because the character that i had to eventually play, for some reason was, like, half human, half clown. >> seth: uh-huh. [ light laughter ] >> i don't know why. but -- so i was like a half human, half clown child. and -- yeah. and so that was my first experience on a film set. >> seth: and were you beloved on the film set? did everybody think, "oh, this is -- you're good at this?" >> i don't -- i mean, i should
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ask them. i should definitely ask them. [ light laughter ] there was one producer that was -- that was on set. and he was lovely, but just kept talking the whole time. and i realized very quickly that, you know, when everyone takes their position and when the a.d., the assistant director, would say, "we're rolling," everyone would stop talking. so i was like, "okay, so that's what we have to do. we stop talking then." and she would keep doing it. and every time the a.d. would say "rolling," this producer who was standing on the set would keep talking and talking. and i was like six years old. and it was really starting to get to me. so eventually i just turned around. and i was like, "shh! quiet on the set!" [ laughter ] and he looks at me. and he was like, "who is this child?" he was like telling me how to be. >> seth: not even a child. a half child, half clown. >> half child, half clown. >> seth: that's a terrifying person to get shushed by. >> i will murder you if you don't -- [ laughter ] >> seth: well, congratulations on the film. and i really cannot wait to watch saturday night. break a leg out there. it will be fantastic.
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>> thanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: saoirse ronan, everybody! "lady bird" is currently in theaters. don't miss "snl" this saturday night at 11:30 pm, right here on nbc. we'll be right back with rachel brosnahan. ♪ if your moderate to severe ulcerative colitis or crohn's symptoms are holding you back, and your current treatment hasn't worked well enough, it may be time for a change. ask your doctor about entyvio, the only biologic developed and approved just for uc and crohn's. entyvio works at the site of inflammation in the gi tract and is clinically proven to help many patients achieve both symptom relief and remission. infusion and serious allergic reactions can happen during or after treatment. entyvio may increase risk of infection, which can be serious. pml, a rare, serious, potentially fatal brain infection caused by a virus may be possible. this condition has not been reported with entyvio. tell your doctor if you have an infection,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is an emmy-nominated actress for her work on "house of cards." she stars in the new series, "the marvelous mrs. maisel." the entire first season begins streaming tomorrow on amazon prime. let's take a look. >> there's more to think about besides material. >> really? like what? >> holding for laughs. what are you doing? >> taking notes. holding for laughs. >> working the room. >> working the room. >> dealing with hecklers. how to enter, how to exit. how to use a mic. mics can be very tricky. you ever hear of joey lewis? >> of course. >> they say mobsters cut his face because he didn't want to do a club date. nope. tripped on a mic cord. >> what? >> 30% of all comics die from cord-related injuries. >> that's not true.
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>> well, it's up there. >> seth: please welcome to the show, rachel brosnahan, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi, rachel. how are you? >> i'm good, thanks. how are you? >> seth: good. congratulations on the show. >> thank you. >> seth: this is -- i love the pilot. this is about a woman in the late '50s. housewife, homemaker, who decides to become a standup comedian. >> yes. >> seth: and you based, i heard, on some degree, on joan rivers. is that somebody you were a fan of? >> yeah, i was a huge fan of joan rivers. i remain a huge fan of joan rivers. i looked towards joan rivers for inspiration, and a woman named jean carroll, totie fields, many, many amazing comics. >> seth: did you ever have a chance to meet joan rivers? 'cause i met her and it was one of the great thrills of my life. >> oh, really? >> seth: yeah. >> when was she on? >> seth: she was here our first year of the show and it was
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wonderful, because all she did was tell jokes the entire time. >> yeah. she was a funny lady. >> seth: there was not a genuine moment between us. [ laughter ] >> well, i won't be able to hold a candle. but, yeah, i did meet her once. i did a play a couple of years ago called "the big knife" and she came to see it. and she actually did not crack jokes the whole time. she was so, so kind to us. and all i've ever seen is her -- >> seth: yes. >> cracking jokes all day long. and she was so sweet to us and seemed to really love the show and it was a totally different side of her i hadn't seen before. >> seth: that's really lovely. did you -- is stand-up something that you ever thought about doing in your real life? do you have any -- no draw? that's not a face of somebody that seems drawn. >> no. no, no, no, no, no. no, no. a resounding no. >> seth: 'cause you're very good at it on the show. is it just a difference of acting the part of a standup is being different than a standup, you feel? >> very, very much so. i feel like i can't claim to have ever even approached doing standup, having done it on this show. it's a very controlled environment. there are people there literally being paid to laugh at my jokes. >> seth: there you go. yeah. [ laughter ] oh, man, i should do that. [ laughter ]
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there you go. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> they seem game. >> seth: they're down. this is obviously -- you sort of play a trailblazer in the show. somebody who is, you know -- there were not a lot of women doing standup in the late '50s. but you have been a trailblazer to some degree in your life. you were on the wrestling team in high school. >> yes, i was. >> seth: we have a photo proof of this. >> oh, god. >> seth: here's the team. i think we've got you there. right? >> yep, that's me. >> seth: and i would like to point out, there's not -- i'm gonna say you're the only lady wrestler on the team. >> i was, yes. yeah. [ light laughter ] this is my audition for "glow" season two. [ light laughter ] hello, jenji, i am here. >> seth: and so what did you like about wrestling? >> you know, i loved it. i grew up in a really athletic family and my dad played tennis, my brother played hockey, my sister played soccer, i grew up snowboarding. and a lot of my friends did it and i always wanted to do it in junior high. i loved it. i love that it's both an individual sport and a team
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sport. and i like, that, you know -- people always ask what it was like being the only girl on the team, but i didn't feel like i was at a disadvantage because it's done by weight class. so you're wrestling with other people who weigh the same as you, who have different skill sets. like, i was pretty quick, some people were stronger than me. and it was interesting to figure that out. it was an interesting game to play. i loved it. >> seth: the wrestlers in my high school were always, like, spitting into a cup to make weight. and that -- or running around. >> yeah, me too. >> seth: so you actually do that. >> no, no, no. i was a little bit light for my weight class so i luckily didn't have to wear the trash bag and run around in the sauna and spit all day long. no, i got to eat. >> seth: gotcha. >> yeah, it was a blessing. >> seth: so obviously the people on your team, the guys on your team, were very supportive of you. did you find the people you wrestled against were the same? >> no -- no, well -- eh, not -- not always. [ light laughter ] you know. it was that thing where they they were like -- sometimes they would forfeit against me, which really pissed me off, and pissed off my teammates, too. who could kind of give them some [ bleep ] about -- am i allowed to say that word? i did already. >> seth: yeah. it's too late, yeah.
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>> yeah, yeah, too late. >> seth: genie's out of the bottle. [ light laughter ] >> there's much more where that came from. but, yeah, no. sometimes guys would forfeit against me, but it was that thing where they were like, you know, "i don't want to lose to a girl." so sometimes they would wrestle harder than they've ever wrestled in their entire lives. and sometimes they would say they were going easy on me, but that was absolutely not the case. >> seth: okay, gotcha. but you left wrestling, and i will say this is the greatest reason ever to leave a wrestling team. >> yeah. >> seth: you left wrestling, because -- >> because at my -- there's a little bit of back story. so at my high school, the musical happened every other year. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> not every other year. sorry, every other season. so sometimes it would be in the spring, and sometimes it would be in the fall. and my third year, when i would have been wrestling, the musical fell during the season. and so i quit wrestling to be in the musical "cats." >> seth: that is -- [ light laughter ] i feel like no wrestler has ever quit the game -- [ laughter ] >> no, just me. >> seth: for that ever before. [ applause ]
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>> seth: i do want to point out -- >> thank you. thank you very much. >> seth: that this costume is pretty close to, like, professional wrestling, as well. [ laughter ] >> it is. i didn't stray very far. >> seth: it seems like you brought some of your wrestling. >> yeah. >> seth: but that is fantastic. so you -- and then you went to nyu. >> i did. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: is nyu in the house? >> really? all right! what's our mascot? [ laughter ] the -- there's a -- we don't know! yay! [ light laughter ] >> seth: that speaks to the sports program at nyu. >> we don't sports at nyu. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> no. >> seth: the thinkers! >> yes. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so you -- but you auditioned and were cast in your first film while you were at nyu? >> actually, while i was in high school. >> seth: oh, wow. gotcha. >> yeah. >> seth: and that is -- so what was your first audition for a film like? >> so i auditioned for a film called "the unborn." >> seth: okay. >> with gary oldman, who i never met. >> seth: oh really? [ light laughter ] >> but he was in it. >> seth: okay, great. >> he played a rabbi. and my chicago agent had called and said, "this is the biggest audition you'll ever have in
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your life. so you better skip school to come." i had a calculus exam. i missed it. >> seth: wow. >> i told them that my grandmother passed away. she was very, very old, in fairness, so i didn't will that in into existence. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i don't know if it's better that she was close to death. i don't -- [ laughter ] >> it felt better at the time. >> seth: yeah, okay, good, good. >> maybe i would have said something else today. but, yeah, so i went, and i -- and they told me i was too short, and too young, and then they didn't want someone with red hair. and then i got a callback. and i didn't know that there was a difference between a first audition and a callback. and somebody had told me that in order to be a film actor, you just have to mumble all your lines. >> seth: very good advice. >> it is. >> seth: yeah. >> and so i did that. >> seth: okay. >> i mumbled all of my lines. up there with the best of them. and here we are. >> seth: wow! [ laughter ] you mumbled your way to the top. >> i mumbled my way to an emmy nomination. [ applause ] >> seth: well, congratulations. well-deserved and thank you so
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much for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: rachel brosnahan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "the marvelous ms. maisel" begins streaming on amazon prime tomorrow. we'll be right back with michelle wolf. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ huh. (dog barking) (whispering) i love you so much. we're going to be best friends forever. we're going to go everywhere together and see everything. huh. huh. (sighs) you know that gx is both of ours, right? (whispering) don't listen to him. nothing brings out your inner child like the holidays. experience the excitement of the lexus december to remember sales event. experience amazing at your lexus dealer.
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we )re just hours away from jurors meeting again in the kate steinle murder case. after 4 days of deliberating, the jury could reach a verdict in the morning. we )ll be live with the decision and analysis if they do -- here on air -- and on all our platforms. on twitter: police are expected to release more information in the arrest of a juvenile who they say shot surveillance cameras at booksin elementary in san jose.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a comedian and writer at "the daily show." her hour-long hbo special "nice lady" will premiere this saturday at 9:00 pm on hbo. please welcome back to the show our very good friend michelle wolf, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. >> oh, my god, i was gonna come out and do my irish accent. >> seth: oh, you have one? [ light laughter ] >> yes. >> seth: i love -- i don't believe you have a good irish accent. [ laughter ] [ indiscernible irish accent ] [ laughter ] >> seth: that was it? >> yeah. >> seth: oh, no! you should have a good irish accent. you look like someone who would have a good irish accent. >> i'm 100% german. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: if people who know you -- you look irish, but like i know you. i would guess german. >> yeah, i have the personality of a german.
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[ light laughter ] a 1940s german. >> seth: you like a fair irish lass. but you go back to the table, you're like, "that girl at the bar is german." [ light laughter ] so you spent thanksgiving doing a very cool thing. you were opening for chris rock in boston. >> very weird for you to ask me a serious question. [ light laughter ] >> seth: we should get something out of the way. the reason michelle and i are behaving like this, is michelle was a writer on this show for a very long time. michelle started -- our first writing staff, michelle was one of our writers. give it up. [ cheers and applause ] >> i know. i made the show. >> seth: you made the show. >> i made the show. >> seth: but you sat there before, but i wasn't asking you questions about michelle. >> no. >> seth: you were playing like, grownup annie. >> yeah. or, i don't know. and some other idiot. [ light laughter ] >> seth: your idiot characters were so good. >> they're so me. >> seth: they're so wonderful. >> they're so me. >> seth: you found them. you found those characters. so back to like, the interview. >> yeah, okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: can you handle it? >> yeah.
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go for it. >> seth: how was opening for chris rock? >> it was fine! i mean, it's -- we did -- just after thanksgiving, we were in boston. and it's always nice, like, when you know you have thanksgiving, but then you know shortly after you're going to have to be in front of like 3,000 people. >> seth: yeah. >> you're like, "i'm not going to eat as much." [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> because they're going to -- they're gonna be like, "look at that fat turkey." [ laughter ] >> seth: look at this. this comedian is like dozing off at her microphone. you went to a jay-z concert with chris rock after. >> yeah. >> seth: in boston. >> and i think you can see us all enjoying the music the same. >> seth: yeah, there's chris. [ laughter ] he seems to be in awe. and what are you doing? you're like, looking somewhere else? >> i'm dancing. >> seth: oh, that's you dancing? [ laughter ] why are you the only person looking this way in the entire photo? [ light laughter ] >> well, i think they knew -- the thing is, i knew they were taking a picture. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> and i was like, i'll pose. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: well, let me just say, you nailed it. >> yeah. yeah. i should say, this is the third concert i've ever been to. >> seth: who were the other two? >> i went to elton john, billy joel and then 30 minutes -- billy joel heads? [ applause ] and then 30 minutes of jay-z. >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah, so this is like -- i work a ton and i never really go out. so, like, when i do, i feel like i'm a little -- like one of those kids that was, like, born in a basement because their mom was kidnapped. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. one of those kids. [ light laughter ] >> so when they finally get to see the real world, they're like, "i don't know how to behave!" [ laughter ] >> seth: well, that comes across in that photo. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: so tell me, it's been -- [ applause ] it's been a few years now. i'm so happy for your success. but do you miss anything about working here? >> oh, my gosh. i miss so much. i miss making fun of you every day. >> seth: you did. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: for anyone here who
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doesn't think that's true, you made fun of me every day. >> every day. my goal each day was to make fun of seth as much as i could. and then you promoted me. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] hoping it would stop. >> no. and that just encouraged me. and, yeah. it was -- it was really so much fun. >> seth: well, thank you. was there anything particular that looking back you really -- >> well, like -- there's like nice moments, where, like, we would be back in, like -- like at the end of the day after rehearsal, we'd go to seth's dressing room to do rewrites, like rework some jokes. and you get to see seth preparing for the show like a 50-year-old divorcee in his like housecoat just nibbling on six almonds. [ laughter ] just like -- "i guess charles picks up his socks now!" [ laughter ] >> seth: i can't believe that's how you saw me. >> yeah. >> seth: you have stayed connected to the show. >> wait, i have more things to make fun of. [ laughter ] >> seth: please. [ applause ] please.
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this is your time. >> seth has -- [ laughter ] a jar of pink himalayan sea salt on his desk. >> seth: yeah. >> so at a moment's notice, he's able to grind fresh sea salt. [ laughter and applause ] onto anything he might be eating. >> seth: yeah. well, salt is lovely. >> one of the people. >> seth: pink himalayan sea salt is the best salt. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. and you don't drink coffee. you drink dandelion water. >> seth: yeah. it's a coffee substitute. >> it's a coffee substitute made from a weed. [ laughter ] i think the only thing similar is it's brown. >> seth: what? >> i don't even -- it's just brown, right? >> seth: yeah, it's not good. it doesn't taste good and it doesn't wake you up. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's a terrible substitute. [ light laughter ] >> sounds like you really have it together. >> seth: i do have it together. i want to talk to you real quick about a way to stay connected to the show. because we do a sketch called "extreme dog shaming." >> yeah. >> seth: and it always ends --
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thank you. [ light laughter ] >> dog heads out there. >> seth: more than i thought. [ light laughter ] you still write the last joke of every "extreme dog shaming," which is my dog frisbee. >> yeah, and so one of the writers -- and i won't name him, because i think he would hate the attention. [ laughter ] he really -- he would so embarrassed if we talked about it. >> seth: he hates attention. >> yeah. [ laughter ] really -- [ laughter ] >> seth: we shouldn't say his name. >> we shouldn't say his name. >> seth: he's a real shrinking violet. >> yeah, he would be mortified. >> seth: yeah. >> but he always -- >> seth: it's matt goldich, right? >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he'll e-mail me and he'll be like, "i need some frisbee shames." >> seth: yeah. >> and then i send about 25 shames. >> seth: yeah. >> and i'll keep writing back, and you'll be like, "not good enough." >> seth: yeah. so here's some of the things you've had frisbee say about me
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over the years. i'll let you read them if you want. >> oh, great, yeah. "seth screams 'make america great again' when he climaxes." [ laughter and applause ] "seth calls his penis the dakota access pipeline." [ laughter ] "i know seth's new kid is the baby, but seth is the one who [ bleep ] himself." [ laughter ] i forgot that one. it's funny. "every night i wonder, 'seriously, who got seth's wife pregnant?'" [ laughter ] >> seth: michelle wolf, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "nice lady," which is fantastic. >> thank you. >> seth: premieres on saturday december 2nd at 9:00 pm on hbo. michelle is going to stick around for another bit with us. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ can ytake out the trash? (sigh) ( ♪ )
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dad: molly! trash! ( ♪ ) whoo! ( ♪ ) mom: hey, molly? it's time to go! (bell ringing) class, let's turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. who would like to read? ( ♪ ) molly: i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. it's running much faster now. see? it's amazing, molly. thank you. ( ♪ ) (train whistle blowing) i want a rabbit. thanwhat about you? well, i want an iphone. make sure you get that on verizon. it's the most awarded network ever. and if anyone asks, i want a bigger train next year. (vo) give the gift of any iphone and get up to $300 off.
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♪ sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. grey goose. give the world's best tasting vodka. un poquito mas rapido, no? [instrumental music playing hthroughout] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. ha,ha,ha. [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [rain falling] [wheel squeaking] carlos! carlos! dr. brad needs to see you in room 3. [wheel squeaking] [heart monitor beeping]
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pain from chest congestion can make this... when you have a cold, ...feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. tylenol®. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. we here at "late night," we have a lot of expenses to cover the cost of the show. you know this. >> it's so expensive. >> seth: it's so expensive. and so we took on some pretty terrible sponsors to pay for those costs. sponsors we aren't proud of, sponsors that i'm ashamed we took money from. because we did, we now have to mention them on the air. i would like to apologize in advance for some of our terrible sponsors. and thank you so much for staying out for this. >> i mean -- i just want to help you get through this. >> seth: thank you. [ laughter ] "late night" is brought to you by bug beds. beds for your bedbugs. if you give them their own bed, they won't need yours. [ laughter ] bug beds, don't let your bedbugs bug up your bed. get those buggers bug beds.
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beds for bugs, from the makers of moth sweaters. [ cheers and applause ] >> you're really good at talking. >> seth: next up, keg-nog. finally, eggnog in the size you've always wanted, a keg. [ laughter ] and you better finish it fast. 'cause it's alcohol mixed with dairy, so it will turn. [ laughter ] keg-nog, because nothing says happy holidays like grandma doing a keg stand. [ laughter ] do you want to do this next one? >> oh, yeah, i would love to. we're also sponsored by poops, i did it again! [ laughter ] the only laxative personally endorsed by britney spears. the new and improved laxative from the makers of [ bleep ] me baby one more time. [ laughter ] >> seth: and don't forget about cabbage patch adults. remember the cabbage patch kids? well, they're all grown up. and they need a place to live. [ laughter ] it's cabbage patch adults. they're six feet tall, out of a job, and ugly as a foot. >> oh, no! that's my boyfriend! >> seth: oh, no. [ laughter ] up next, you heard of cage-free
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chickens. now there's free cage chickens. chickens in a cage, for free. [ light laughter ] come pick them up on the corner of 36th and 10th. it's impossible to miss, 'cause they're in a cage and angry as hell. free cage chickens. they're a cluckin' steal. want to do this one? >> yeah. don't forget about all-thong sandals. now you can have a piece of plastic between every toe. [ laughter ] keep those piggies away from each other. in style. >> seth: next up is that little guy on top of your bowl -- wait. next up. next up, comma -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, look, it's one of those guys that corrects people's grammar! >> seth: next up, is that little guy on the top of your bowling trophy getting lonely? get him a trophy wife. a wife for the guy on top of your trophy. [ laughter ] trophy wives. now he's winning at bowling and life. you want to do this one? >> we're also sponsored by the book club of the month club club. >> seth: what?
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>> it's not my show. [ laughter ] had enough of debbie saying, "she's just like madam bovary?" conk her on the head with this book of the month club club. >> seth: next up, the english -- >> i just got it. >> seth: you just got it? [ laughter ] we missed that about you here. >> yeah. >> seth: because you would do the entire show. and then one of the writers would get it right at the end. >> yeah. ah! >> seth: next up, the english to portuguese to dutch translator. don't speak portuguese or dutch but want to know how a dutch person would translate english phrases after hearing them in portuguese? then, this is the app for you. be warned. if you want to know how to say things in dutch, this is not the app for you. this is just for finding out how certain phrases sound after they have been translated into portuguese and then into dutch. to be clear, this app takes your phrase, translates it into portuguese, keeps that part a secret, takes that translation and translates it into dutch. the english to portuguese dutch translator. [ speaking in foreign language ] [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you ever have -- have you ever had an applause break? >> soak it in, seth. soak it in! >> seth: also, unlucky charms cereal. black cats, red ladders, several broken mirrors and blue 13s. frosted unlucky charms. ♪ they magically will kill you ♪ [ laughter ] next up, solo athletic cup. solo is branching out. [ audience ohs ] now solo cups can support you both while you're getting drunk and while you're getting tackled. solo athletic cups -- available in regular and paul ryan. [ cheers and applause ] and we want to pull one of the classics out. in all of the times we did "bad sponsors" when michelle was here, this was your favorite one. so we're going to let you do it one last time. >> tampoons! [ laughter ] finally, a tampon you can shoot like a harpoon! i love this one. it's the time of the month -- for adventure. [ laughter ] tampoons! thar she blows!
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>> seth: that's it for our "bad sponsors." here are some of the good ones. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ the reuben is back for a limited time at subway. so much reuben.
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the reuben is back for a limited time at subway. ♪ so much reuben. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to saoirse ronan, rachel brosnahan, michelle wolf, everybody. will dorsey jr., and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: hello there, you're watching "last call" with me carson daly. thank you very much. tonight, we are here at hyde. the show is solid. coming up, jordan i


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