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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  April 27, 2018 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

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okay. it was a beautiful day in the bay. just ask that whale. check it out. sky ranger spotted the whale around 5:00 this evening just, you know, having a good time, hanging around in the bay. >> happy hour. >> yes, very nice. putting on a show. this is near alameda. absolutely great. >> never gets old. before we go, jeff ranieri with the last word. what were you going to say about the whale? >> they usually get about 40 to 50 feet long and can live up to about 80 years. >> that's a whale of a tidbit. we've made it to the weekend. thanks for joining us. >> you can tell we're punchy at this point. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- dr. phil mcgraw, hailey baldwin,
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comedian julio torres, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 860! connecticut! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome. look at that is a hot crowd right there tonight. that is a good looking, hot new york city crowd. welcome, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "the tonight show", everybody. guys, dr. phil is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause ]
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he is here to answer the question on everyone's mind -- what the hell is going on with kanye? [ laughter and applause ] that's right, dr. phil is here. or as he'll be known in a few years, oprah's chief of staff. [ laughter ] some big news here. the senate has confirmed mike pompeo to be the new secretary of state. yeah. pompeo says he's excited, looks forward to working under trump for the next three to four weeks. [ laughter and applause ] it's a thrill. it's a thrill. pretty cool. today, trump met with the german chancellor angela merkel. he was pretty disappointed when he found out merkel wasn't the neighbor from "family matters." [ laughter ] "just say, 'did i do that?'" "dis i do that?" [ light laughter ] you guys, it's finally starting to feel like spring, doesn't it? [ cheers and applause ] it could be tough for people with allergies though.
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today, trump's lawyer sneezed and a bunch of hush money flew out of his nose. [ laughter and applause ] actually, i saw that trump's lawyer, michael cohen is going to plead the fifth about the stormy daniels case. he said he doesn't want to go to lie and go to jail. but he also doesn't want to tell the truth and go to jail. [ laughter ] [ applause ] trump has got a lot of legal issues right now. in fact, i read that flight record are now disproving trump's claim that he was not in russia the night of the alleged pee tape. here now with more on the story is political correspondent brenda bishop. brenda? [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, jimmy. it's a pleasure to be here to help shed some light on some controversial pee-pee tape. >> jimmy: brenda, what do you have to report? >> well, jimmy, president trump has repeatedly denied that he was in russia despite flight records showing he was indeed in moscow at the time of the wee-wee tape. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry, brenda, would you hind using different terminology? >> moscow is a city in russia, jimmy.
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i don't know how else to say that. [ laughter ] anyway, this story only further corroborates the existence of the rumored wiz tape. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: brenda, brenda, i appreciate the reporting, but i'm not sure that -- if you could say -- >> right, right, right. let me be more clear. before this news came out, the tinkle tape was merely a rumor, but now the piddle-widdle tape seems more likely than ever. >> jimmy: brenda, i'm not talking about the story, i'm talking about the words you're using to describe the tape. >> oh, i'm so sorry. i actually have a few alternative terms i can use. >> jimmy: no, that's not necessary. [ laughter ] >> the number one tape. >> jimmy: brenda, please, you don't have -- >> the nature's lemonade tape. [ light laughter ] the liquid lasso tape. >> jimmy: right. >> the firearm's resource tape. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, but brenda -- >> the steam stream tape. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. >> the mountain dew fountain tape. [ laughter ] the sprinkle rope tape. >> jimmy: okay. >> the penis output tape. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: brenda. >> the dorothy's yellow brick road tape. >> jimmy: brenda, that's enough. brenda bishop, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that's too -- more than enough. come back -- come back when you have a a report. >> what was that?
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>> jimmy: what's that, brenda? >> oh, sorry, i thought you -- >> jimmy: you still there? >> i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: brenda -- brenda, if you can still hear me, are you there? still brenda? >> i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, you're back -- [ laughter ] thank you. brenda bishop, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] some entertainment news. tom cruise said that while filming the new "mission: impossible:" movie, he jumped out of an airplane 106 times. and afterward the director was like, "i think we're just gonna use the first take." [ laughter and applause ] "i like that one the best." this is big. "avengers: infinity war" is out. and i saw that on top of the the avengers, there are also a a ton of other characters in the movie, dr. strange, black panther, spider-man. really too many to name. i mean, just look at this preview i saw today. >> there was an idea -- >> to bring together a group of remarkable people.
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♪ ♪ ♪ >> "avengers: infinity characters." everyone is in this movie. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: that has a lot of people. >> steve: wow! yodel boy. >> jimmy: balloon boy was in there too. >> steve: yeah, balloon boy. >> jimmy: finally, the second round of the stanley cup playoffs started last night. and as you know, at the end of the season, they give out the most valuable player award. but they also give out other awards, sort of like the ones in high school year books. like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show" superlatives. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight show superlatives ♪ >> jimmy: our first player is paul martin. he's a defenseman for the san jose sharks. he was voted most likely to live inside a tent at dick's
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sporting goods. [ laughter and applause ] next up from the tamp bay lightning is ryan mcdonagh. he was voted most likely to be michael phelps doing an elvis impression. [ laughter ] [ applause ] next up from the san jose sharks is brent burns. [ audience ohs ] he was voted human can opener. >> steve: wow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: next up, from the boston bruins is charlie mcavoy. he was voted most likely to be watching his crush get prom-posed to by another dude. [ applause ] next from the sharks we have justin braun. he was voted most likely to be currently enrolled in a a learning annex course called "smiling for beginners." [ applause ] [ laughter ] next from the winnipeg jets, we have joe morrow.
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he was voted most likely to go a year without talking just to make a point. [ laughter ] and finally for the nashville predators, we have eeli tolvanen. he was voted mccauliest culkin. there you go everybody. there's are your nhl superlatives. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. be sure to tune in next week. on tuesday, it's an all ariana grande show. yes. [ cheers and applause ] we have a lot of fun things planned. and she's going to perform for us. it's going to be great. then later in the week, steve martin and martin short will be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i cannot wait. it's a big week. but first, we've got a a fantastic show tonight. he is the long-time host of "dr. phil." dr. phil mcgraw is stopping by.
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[ cheers and applause ] who else hosts "dr. phil"? dr. phil mcgraw! [ applause ] plus, from the new documentary film, "the american meme," hailey baldwin is here. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great stand up. this is one of the funniest dudes -- >> steve: main man. >> jimmy: julio torres is here tonight doing stand up for us. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "my favorite shapes." "my favorite shapes." i remember -- he is a writer on "snl." >> steve: uh-huh. >> jimmy: and i'll never forget just meeting him for the first time, 'cause he's so memorable. you go around and you have ideas. but was just like -- he kind of gets right in there -- >> steve: he gets in your head. >> jimmy: he looks into your soul. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] he's not from this earth. >> jimmy: he really isn't. man, he's funny. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he was pitching an idea, it was something about aliens or something like. and i was just like -- it was the funniest, most bizarre thing. and he's the nicest guy. and i was like, "who was that dude?" [ light laughter ] i don't remember --
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you know, he's brand new. he's like 13 or something. i don't know. [ light laughter ] i'm such an old man now. but he's one of the funniest dudes ever. julio torres is here tonight. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everybody's talking about the new movie "avengers: infinity war", which came out today. millions of people are expected to see it this weekend. you guys psyched for it? [ cheers and applause ] that means that it's time for "avengers: the slippery floor." that's where we send our writer, arthur, down to the 30 rock plaza to get peoples thoughts on the movie. and see whether or not they notice that he's mispronouncing "avengers: infinity war." check it out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ avengers slippery floor ahh ♪ >> how excited are you to see "avengers: the slippery floor"? >> very excited. ready to see how the story goes and how it's gonna end. >> have you seen a lot of trailers for "avengers: i'm visibly sore"? >> yeah, i have -- [ light laughter ] like on youtube, places like that. >> who do you plan to take with you to see "avengers: i'm pretty in shorts"? >> probably some friends that i work with. >> on a scale from one to ten,
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how excited are you to see "avengers: three plus one is four"? >> i'll go 11. >> if you had to guess right now, how many times do you think you'll go see "avengers: i'm pissed that steve snores"? >> well, probably three times. >> who do you plan on taking with you to see "avengers: 'spin city'? yes, more"? >> i haven't made plans yet. >> on a scale from one to ten, how excited are you to see "avengers" virginity score"? >> i'd say about a ten. >> on opening weekend, do you plan on seeing "avengers: new season of 'jersey shore'"? >> definitely. i think , especially since we're here in new york. >> who do you plan on taking with you to see "avengers: bill clinton galore"? >> probably just me and my family. >> are you planning to go dress up to see "avengers: hey, lick me some more"? >> uh, i've never done it, but i'm not against it. i don't know. i'm up for it. >> if you had to say right now, what percent chance do you think you'll see "avengers: the fidgety whore"? >> definitely 25% at least. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, arthur. stick around, guys, we'll be right back with "thank you notes." come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. today -- today is friday, is it not? >> steve: yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and that's usually
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when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: and, of course, i send out "thank you notes." well i was just running -- [ cheers and applause ] running a bit behind today. i was getting my eyebrows threaded. >> steve: threaded, oh my gosh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and i thought if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd like to write out my weekly "thank you notes" right now. is that cool? [ cheers and applause ] i only wish i could have some "thank you note" writing music. >> steve: how could you do that? >> jimmy: james? [ light laughter ] come on. ♪ >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: fantastic. [ laughter ] he's just so much fun to hang out with. >> steve: he's just great. [ laughter ] ♪ your eyebrows look great by the way. >> jimmy: what was that? [ light laughter ] >> steve: your eyebrows look great, by the way. >> jimmy: oh thanks, i just got them threaded. >> steve: oh, i didn't know. [ light laughter ] they look good. >> jimmy: i was busy, i was like, working on the show. >> steve: right, doing stuff. >> jimmy: and then i just stopped by my friend dave's
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house. >> steve: dave? is he still threading? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: is dave still threading? >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, it's like -- when we were kids, like, you know, we would take our skateboards back to dave's house. >> steve: sure, yeah. >> jimmy: throw the boards on the couch, you know what i'm saying? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and then just start just threading each other's eyebrows. [ laughter ] >> steve: do a couple ollie's, thread a few eyebrows. >> jimmy: dude, you totally threaded, man. [ laughter ] >> steve: dude you threaded the 360. ♪ they do look good, though. >> jimmy: what's that? [ laughter ] thank you so much, man. i appreciate that. thanks so much, man. >> steve: my pleas. [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] ♪ they make you look -- they make you look younger. >> jimmy: what happened? >> steve: they make you look younger. >> jimmy: that's very nice of you. why don't you take five? why don't you take the weekend? [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you president trump, grabbing french president emmanuel macron's hand, for looking like a a toddler dragging his dad to come see his duplo castle. [ laughter and applause ] a toddler bringing his dad to duplo castle. [ laughter ]
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♪ >> jimmy: thank you, tupperware for being a great way to store food i'll throw away in three days. [ laughter and applause ] i just don't feel like that any more. >> steve: gonna throw this away. >> jimmy: i'm not going to eat that. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, new royal baby for keeping our mind off the other royal baby. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] goo goo ga-ga. >> steve: whoa! goo goo. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, gmail for updating your design. i can't wait to be mad about it for a day and a half, then accept it forever. [ laughter and applause ] [ angry gibberish ] [ calm gibberish ]
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[ light laughter ] it's not that big of a deal. it's not. ♪ thank you magnolia trees blooming for looking like you got dumped a few months ago, but now you're really ready to get back out there. [ laughter and applause ] thank you to cdc for warning americans to stay away from romaine lettuce. [ light laughter ] when americans heard that, they were like, "no, not our third favorite lettuce." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: where are you going to send that to? who's going to get that note? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know, like a a farmer maybe? >> steve: i guess, maybe. the romaine counsel of america? i mean, i don't know, i'm asking as a curious american. look at me again. wow. [ laughter ] looking sharp.
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♪ >> jimmy: thank you, power walking for being the least powerful i've ever looked. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: ready? >> steve: no. yes. i'm not going to say anything. so, whatever you do, i'm not going to say anything. [ laughter ] [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: oh, no. i can't 'cause -- >> steve: i'm not going to say anything. i'm telling you right now. i'm not going to say anything. you're going to put that pen down, music's gonna go. i'm not going do say nothing. >> jimmy: great. ♪ >> steve: see, i didn't say -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you're a man of your word. that's true. >> steve: i keep my word. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, jukeboxes
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for not being called "old people spotify." there you have it everbody. those are my "thank you notes." we'll be right back with dr. phil mcgraw. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ evacuations are underway as a meteor heads toward the metro area. go, go, go, go, go! we can fit more! there's still more room! we gotta go. juicer! we don't have a juicer! the volkswagen tiguan. it fits everything you need, and everything you don't. it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever so it's harder to
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a "new york times" best selling author and currently in his 16th season as the host of "dr. phil," which airs weekdays in national syndication. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, dr. phil mcgraw! ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look good. it's always good to see you. >> i love these guys. >> jimmy: no, you can't beat the roots. >> yeah. >> jimmy: cannot be the roots. >> i mean, you cannot. i'm going to take them with me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? how is everything? how's your wife? how's robin doing? >> robin is doing great, thanks for asking? >> jimmy: how long have you guys been married? >> 41 years. >> jimmy: is that right? [ cheers and applause ] >> that's right. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> that's a while, huh? >> jimmy: that is a while. >> not too long. >> jimmy: no, it's just -- >> i mean, she's watching, i just want to make it clear. >> jimmy: no, yeah, you're absolutely -- [ laughter ] do you remember your wedding day? >> yeah, you couldn't not remember my wedding day, because there was no booze. this happened -- >> jimmy: oh, really? [ laughter ] >> this happened in a baptist church, marriage and reception. all in a baptist church so, yeah, i remember it real clear. everybody was sober. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow! >> yeah. it comes real clear. >> jimmy: we dug up a photo of you from your wedding. >> oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] oh.
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>> jimmy: i think it's pretty cool. >> oh. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: ladies love it out there. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you're 25, you look very shockingly similar to how you do now. [ laughter ] look at that. >> yeah. bond, james bond. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. oh, i like the -- >> see, there's one advantage to being bald, and only one. >> jimmy: yeah? >> and that is, you look the same year after year after year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's true, yeah. >> i've been bald since i was 12. [ laughter ] i mean, so you do look the same all the time. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and the white tux, that's a choice. [ laughter ] >> listen. >> jimmy: it looks good. >> then, 41 years ago, and now, robin dresses me like a ken doll. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't dress yourself? >> i have no say in -- no, of course not. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did you do on your honeymoon? >> uh -- oh, oh, god.
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is this torture me night? >> jimmy: no, come on. [ laughter ] this is interesting stuff. >> okay. >> jimmy: no one ever asks you this stuff. >> no, they don't ever ask me this stuff because i put it on the "don't ask me" list. [ laughter ] okay, we got -- i was a pilot and i had a very small airplane, she wanted to go -- get this, she wanted to go to "the price is right." [ laughter ] she wanted to go to "the price is right." so i load her up in the airplane in texas and we take off for california. and it was an afternoon wedding, we don't get there, we stop in juarez, mexico and spend the night. but, my brother-in-law unexpectedly showed up so he went with us. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: on your honeymoon? >> on our honeymoon. he's in the airplane with us. we get to juarez, there's only one suite. so he stayed with us. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is perfect. >> that's why i don't let people ask about this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this wedding sounds fantastic. >> yeah. and we did get to "the price is right." she wanted to go, we're standing out back like a couple rubes, in this line out behind television city.
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>> jimmy: because you can't buy tickets there. >> and we got picked. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, we didn't get on. but -- well, she got picked, because she's back there, you know, like this -- [ laughter ] and even then i'm standing over there like, "god, don't let anybody pick us." >> jimmy: bob barker? >> bob barker. >> jimmy: the greatest! well, you brought something from -- >> i did. >> jimmy: 1976? >> robin saves everything. >> jimmy: this is so cool. >> these are our nametags from 41 years ago. [ cheers and applause ] i kid you not. >> jimmy: that's fantastic! >> these are our nametags from 41 years ago, and she has saved them, and they're in pretty good shape, huh? >> jimmy: that's fantastic! >> yeah. >> seth: i've never actually seen one in person. but i love "price is right." >> you didn't go on your honeymoon? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, no. i tried, but your brother-in-law was there so i couldn't -- [ laughter ] >> well, we had fun. we had a great time. it really was fun. >> jimmy: your show, 16th season? is that possible? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that happened fast, huh? [ cheers and applause ] >> it did. >> jimmy: 16th season. oh, my god. >> i was with oprah on monday. we were shooting something on
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monday, and we were talking about how wow, 16 years, it just seems like it's gone like that. >> jimmy: does anything surprise you anymore? because i mean you've seen everything. >> well, i think so. and then i go to work. [ laughter ] and robin says i'm going to have to do the last show ever -- the last season ever on hbo, so i can say what i'm really thinking. >> jimmy: okay, all right, yeah. [ laughter ] we did a game, i think last time you were on or -- we played a game called "two truths and a lie." >> right. >> jimmy: and to see if you could tell i'm lying or not. like, right now you're looking into my eyes. i see. [ light laughter ] you're doing -- yeah, you're already in my head already. you know that, right? wow. >> i do know that. >> jimmy: wow! >> what i'm wondering is if you know it? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: see, already, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't even know what you're talking about. [ laughter ] this is fantastic. i'm going to break this. you're not even blink -- you're not even blinking. [ laughter ] oh, you're real good, okay, all right. now i want to see if you can tell two truths and a lie, and see if i can tell which one is the lie. >> okay, you're going to try
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and psych me? >> jimmy: yep. i'm already in your head. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> good luck with that, james. [ laughter ] okay, i wrote 'em down. >> jimmy: okay. >> and i'm going to give each one the same weight. so i'm going to read three things, right? >> jimmy: yep. >> one of these is a lie. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and you're going to try to figure out which one. >> jimmy: see, already you're doing like -- it's like a a magician. [ laughter ] >> now i'm going to read all three of them. >> jimmy: i understand the rules. yeah, it's okay. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. one of them's a lie. there's two truths. we got that already. >> no, you can't ask any questions until i've read all three of them. that's the rule and i'll make 'em. [ laughter ] all right. [ scoffs ] number one. okay, number one. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i have a cow part in my shoulder. number two. [ light laughter ] i was a roller skating waiter at an a&w root beer stand. [ laughter ] number three. i have taken a bubble bath in oprah's bathtub. [ audience ohs ] ♪
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>> jimmy: she would never. [ laughter ] >> so ask me anything you want. >> jimmy: what'd they sell at a&w? >> well, they sold root beer, they sold all kinds of hamburgers, they sold hot dogs, french fries -- >> jimmy: and you'd wheel yourself out there in short shorts and go give it. >> you would go to the car. they -- you would go to the car. you would take their order because we didn't have speaker boxes at the time. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> you would skate it in there, give it to the short order cooks. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> then when it was ready, you'd skate it back out there, put it on their window. >> jimmy: did oprah know you took a bubble bath? [ laughter ] >> she has a two -- she has both floors of the water tower in chicago. >> jimmy: uh-huh. and there's a guest apartment on one of the floors, and it has everything there that you could possibly want, a bathtub, shower, everything. >> jimmy: bathtub and shower im oprah's? >> right. >> jimmy: yeah. why would you have a cow part in your shoulder? >> well, it's a surgical procedure and -- >> jimmy: was it like a muscle thing or what is it? >> it's a tendon, they put it in if you hurt your shoulder, like, rotator cuff, whatever, they put it in there to speed recovery.
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[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: wow! [ laughter ] i think i did it. i did it -- >> moo! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, i think i broke you. i don't know. tariq, do you think you understand. do you think you know which one's what? >> tariq: i do. i do. >> jimmy: oh, man. do you guys think you know? [ laughter ] you guys think you know which one's a lie? [ audience acknowledges ] i'm going to say -- [ drumroll ] i'm going to say number one is a lie. you do not have a cow part in your shoulder. >> i do have a cow part in my shoulder. [ audience groans ] [ foghorn ] ♪ >> jimmy: what? >> it was installed march, a a year ago, when i crashed a a dirt bike in my own driveway. [ laughter ] i broke six ribs and blew up my shoulder. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: man. are you going to tell me which one was the lie? >> do you want to know? >> jimmy: yes. >> what do you guys think?
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[ audiences agrees ] okay, what's -- >> jimmy: did you take a bubble bath in oprah's bathtub? >> i did. >> jimmy: we'll be right back right -- no, i'm just kidding. [ laughter ] >> i did not take a bath in oprah's bathtub. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dr. phil mcgraw, everybody! check your local listings for "dr. phil." we'll be right back with hailey baldwin. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ with roomba from irobot,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a hugely successful model, who you can see in the new documentary film, "the american meme" which premiered earlier today at the tribeca film festival. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, hailey baldwin. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> wow, thank you. what an honor. >> jimmy: thank you, oh please. thank you so much for coming on the show. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i know your dad, i know your dad, stephen. >> of course. we're basically family. >> jimmy: we're basically family, yeah. [ light laughter ] i know your uncle, too. >> of course. >> jimmy: uncle alec. [ light laughter ] >> uncle -- >> jimmy: but i -- did i meet you when you were at "snl?" >> i met you when my dad was on the show. >> jimmy: i met -- definitely met you here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but did i -- 'cause you were on "saturday night live." is that true? >> i mean, it sounds cooler when you say i was on "saturday night live." >> jimmy: yeah. >> when in reality, i kinda just went on there with alec and introduced the jonas brothers when i was 13. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so you're a big jonas brothers fan? >> yeah. i was into it for sure. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: did you have a a favorite jonas brother? [ light laughter ]
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>> at the time -- >> jimmy: is it weird to say now because you run into them? >> it's fun. it's a little weird to say now because i do see them out, and see them places and we're kind of all the same age now, so it's a little weird. but we actually went to the same middle school. >> jimmy: wait, so you went to school with the jonas brothers? >> well they're older than me, so they went before i went to the school, but yes, we went to the same school. >> jimmy: wow, so they're like legends? >> yeah, totally. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: legends in the hallway. you're like, "oh yeah, i knew nick." and you know all the -- yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i was just seeing if i can hint and see which one was your favorite. i won't get it from you. but then, how -- wait, what do you mean you got to introduce -- >> we went to "saturday night live" when they performed and alec was like, "hey, come out with me, i want you guys to help me introduce their performance." and we were like, "okay." >> jimmy: i mean, how cool is that? we actually have a clip. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: here's 12-year-old hailey baldwin on "saturday night live." she's on the right of the screen. check this out. >> no. >> once again -- >> jonas brothers. >> jimmy: come on. [ cheers and applause ] i mean that is so cute.
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♪ [ foghorn ] what are you talking about? >> the braces! >> jimmy: it's so cute. are you kidding me? >> oh, goodness. >> jimmy: come on, that's fantastic, buddy. >> it's good, it's good. >> jimmy: it is. of course, it's great. i heard that you're going to the met gala that's coming up? >> i am. >> jimmy: i'm gonna go, too. >> yes. slay. >> jimmy: oh, come on, yeah. slay, obviously. [ laughter ] google "slay." yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. definitely slay. i mean, obviously. >> obviously. >> jimmy: duh, i mean, nothing -- slay all day. >> slay. >> jimmy: so when -- so when -- when we get -- when we go -- when we go to the met gala, we'll wave at each other and say hi. we'll party, right? >> we'll, we'll hug, we'll drink. >> jimmy: we will? >> yeah, we'll party. >> jimmy: now, you've been before to the met. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's a beautiful thing, anna wintour, oh my gosh, amazing. and it raises money for the met. >> yeah, it's my fourth year going, actually. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: number 10 for me, but no big deal. [ laughter ] it's cool. i mean, that's just, you know, slay all day.
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it's just like -- [ laughter ] i wanna talk about this documentary. "the american meme." >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what is it about and how are you involved with it? >> "the american meme" is basically a documentary about social media and it follows a a couple people who basically -- why i did it is 'cause i just wanted to sit down and be able to be candid about the highs of social media, and the lows of social media. and how it's impacted my career and my job, and how it impacts everybody's life and also how it's affected me in a negative way. and that it actually is hurtful to read a lot of the things, and it does affect somebody and you can get so sucked into what people are saying. and i just wanted people to understand that it's not this like amazing fantasy life that people think it is from the outside. there's actually, you know -- we're human beings and we they have feelings and they can be really affected by it. >> jimmy: yeah.
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but i want to show a clip, here's hailey baldwin in "the american meme." take a look. ♪ >> i post a lot of things that i genuinely just like. and i've gotten in trouble with my agent before being like, "why would you post this? you can get paid for doing this." being able to like do a little paid post here and there has brought me a lot of power in choosing what movie roles i want. i went into a show fitting the other day and they had a bunch of girls photos next to each other with little post-its on it, with everybody's instagram follower count. i have definitely lost jobs to girls who had more followers than i did. the modelling industry itself is very harsh, and not easy to be successful in. and there's girls that are getting that recognition over night because of an app. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good for you. that's awesome. >> yeah, it's super cool. >> jimmy: "the american meme" is playing in theaters in new york city throughout the weekend. before you leave -- >> yes. >> jimmy: there's a cool life hack that i heard that you can do. >> yes.
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>> jimmy: and i just was wondering if you could maybe -- a lot of our viewers at home, people here want to know life hacks. >> totally. >> jimmy: and it involves -- it involves bottles of beer. >> it does. >> jimmy: now this is -- now this is -- >> all right, you know, i'm going to preface this by saying, don't try this at home. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. now what is the hack here? what do you do with the trick? >> well, the story behind it. i was in the bahamas shooting with a bunch of people. and we were on a boat and we didn't have a bottle opener. and i didn't want everybody to not have fun, so i was like, "oh, you know what? let me just try something." and i cracked it open with my tooth. i then i ended up realizing that i could do this cool thing, and i cracked 16 of them in one go. so -- [ clink ] [ bottle tops popping ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the coolest person i have ever met.
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cheers to you. [ cheers and applause ] >> cheers. >> jimmy: hailey baldwin everybody, right there. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with julio torres. stick around. wow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ experience a blend of refined craftsmanship... ...and raw power. ♪ new innovations... ...and a tradition of excellence. luxury... ...and performance, engineered to take the crown. presenting the all-new lexus ls 500 and ls 500h. experience amazing, at your lexus dealer.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a writer on "saturday night live" and he'll be performing "my favorite shapes" at the soho theater in london, august 6th through the 11th.
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please welcome the very funny julio torres. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hi. hi. >> audience: hi! >> hey. hi. hello. um, i'm a -- i'm sorry if i seem a little bit -- a little bit out of it right now. i just -- i got my lab results back. and just as every doctor suspected, i'm simply too much. [ laughter ] i come to you as a carefree platinum blonde. [ laughter ] but i haven't always been a a carefree platinum blonde. [ light laughter ]
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i was actually born and raised as a brunette. [ light laughter ] but i've been a platinum blonde for about five years now. except for a month long period somewhere in the middle. [ light laughter ] where i had a suspicious mole on my back. that i had to get removed and biopsied. for that period i went back to being a brunette. [ light laughter ] because i thought, "no, no. blonde julio can't deal with that." [ laughter ] "that sounds like a job for a a brunette." [ laughter ] i just updated the software on my iphone. [ light laughter ] and i was mortified to find out that when you update your software, what used to be the shooting star emoji becomes a a meteor.
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[ laughter ] now, i don't know if apple knows that the difference is monumental. [ laughter ] because, of course, the shooting star emoji was this gorgeous stroke of iridescence. it would go from a very deep blue to a very soothing baby blue. it'd be like -- [ laughter ] the meteor, on the other hand, is this aggressive orange ball of fire. so for the longest time, i thought i was being flirty. when really i was being a a psychopath. [ laughter ] i'd get text messages being like, "hey, julio, will i see you later?" and i'd be like, "i don't know, maybe."
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[ laughter ] when really i was going, "maybe!" [ laughter ] i am -- [ cheers and applause ] i brought this up to the genius at the mac store. and he said, "sir, i have to move on with my life." [ laughter ] as you can probably tell by now, my favorite color is clear. [ laughter ] followed closely by shiny. [ laughter ] i first remember the first time i ever been in love with the color clear. i was a little boy, and i saw cinderella's pretty little feet going into that glass slipper. when i saw that, i was like, "what is that?" [ laughter ] mother, let's rewind.
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[ laughter ] and she was like, "rewind to what?" i'm like, "you know to what. [ laughter ] to the shoe." you know, a lot keeps me up at night these days. [ light laughter ] but -- okay. remember that scene in "cinderella" where she has to rush out of the ball and she leaves behind that glass slipper? the prince finds the shoe, and this is all he has left of her. but presumably there's a scene where the prince goes to his subjects and he goes, "have every maiden in the kingdom try this on, until you find the girl i met at the ball." but i bet they were like, "or -- [ light laughter ] you could just come with us and look at their faces." [ laughter and applause ]
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and he was probably like, "but how would we use the shoe?" [ laughter ] you know, just because you have a tool, doesn't mean that you have to use it. [ laughter ] okay, unless there's any questions, thank you, guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: julio torres! [ cheers and applause ] follow julio on twitter @juliothesquare. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to dr. phil mcgraw, hailey baldwin, julio torres, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- tiffany haddish, music from the war on drugs, an all new "jokes seth can't tell", featuring the 8g band with gil sharone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. according to the "new york times", the fbi today raided the office of president trump's personal attorney michael cohen and took rec r

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