Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  May 8, 2018 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

11:34 pm
conference at shoreline. duplex can schedule restaurant reservations, schedule appointments for you all based on your schedule and you never have to pick up the phone. google says that duplex is not listening in on you. it's only activated when you say "hey, google." can you ask jeff ranieri is going to be like for mother's day? hey google. >> thank you for joining us. have a great day tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from stu o 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- trevor noah, gabrielle union, musical guests chromeo featuring dram and the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: teacha-teacha! >> steve: and now, here he is,
11:35 pm
jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, welcome! ha ha! hot crowd tonight. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it! [ cheers and applause ] you're here! you made it. guys, today is national teacher appreciation day. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ our entire audience is filled with new york city public school teachers.
11:36 pm
[ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about right there. welcome. but -- but be honest, how many of you threw on a movie and left school early to be here? [ cheers and applause ] i knew it. i know -- i know that trick. [ laughter ] but teacher appreciation day is very special. it's the one day each year when we tell our teachers that there's no one we're more proud of. and our teachers are like, "there's no one of whom you're more proud." [ laughter and applause ] hey! and teacher appreciation day is a great time to give your teacher a card or an apple or what they really deserve, a a bottle of wine and a straw. [ cheers and applause ] and that's what you-- apples? get out of here! this is very nice. today, teachers can get buy one get one free burritos at chipotle. [ laughter ] or as students put it, "looks like we're going to have a
11:37 pm
a substitute tomorrow." [ laughter and applause ] let's get to some news here. i read that president trump is getting annoyed with rudy giuliani's tv appearances, because he keeps going off topic. [ light laughter ] trump staffers were like, "yeah, it must be really awful having to deal with that." [ laughter and applause ] i've heard the president's tired of giuliani. trump said, "he's unhinged, hard to control, says anything he wants and -- oh, my god, he's me! oh, my god, it's 'freaky friday'!" [ laughter and applause ] get this, uber says it hopes to have flying cars in operation by 2020. [ light laughter ] it's all part of their plan to help drunk people throw up faster. you go -- [ laughter ] what? listen to this, i saw that a a michigan police department added stickers to their vehicles that say "po-po." [ laughter ] to connect with younger members of the community. [ laughter ]
11:38 pm
"po-po"! [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, come on. >> jimmy: the fire department saw that and was like, "hey, we want to be cool too." but i'm not sure about their new slogan. take a look. "lit af." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic! i love you guys. welcome to the show, everybody. today is teacher appreciation day -- [ cheers and applause ] and our audience tonight is made up -- ♪ our audience tonight is made up of over 200 new york city public school teachers. welcome, everyone! [ cheers and applause ]
11:39 pm
so happy you're here. new york city has this great program called "the big apple awards" where they recognize exceptional teachers who inspire their students and promote quality education in their school communities. and everyone here tonight has been nominated for a "big apple award." this is the best of the best, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] absolutely. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: thank you so much. it's going to be a fun night. ah, it's going to be great. everyone's -- everyone's had a teacher who's changed their life. i've had many. >> steve: aw. >> jimmy: i loved all my teachers. i had mrs. gallagher. >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: did english, i loved her. ms. umloft. i remember mr. urman -- edward urman was -- he's one of my all time favorite teachers. he was social studies. and he was just such -- such a a character.
11:40 pm
i liked the funny teachers. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: they were my -- clearly -- >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got the jokes. i wasn't -- i was a good student, i was fun. but i remember one time -- >> steve: they appreciated that you got the joke. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. yeah, exactly. make it all fun for everyone. >> steve: anyway, yeah -- >> jimmy: mr. urman was like -- he was just a character in general. he'd go -- one day i was just kind of -- i was daydreaming, i was looking -- he was like, "what are you doing?" i go, "i'm just looking out the window." he goes, "you want to go out there?" [ laughter ] i go, "yeah, it's a pretty nice day. yeah, i would." he goes, "okay, i'll write you a hall pass." [ laughter ] wrote me a pass and made me get out. and so i left and i went outside. [ light laughter ] and i went around to the window where this class was, waved at everybody and i -- [ laughter and applause ] i'm out here. and then -- and then i kind of got kind of just bored and i wanted to go back into class, you know? [ light laughter ] >> steve: ah! >> jimmy: so maybe just -- maybe it just taught me a a lesson because that's, you
11:41 pm
know. so i went back in, i never did it again. [ light laughter ] but he was -- any little stuff like that i remember, i love it. [ applause ] i loved all my teachers. i loved school. just know that i know it's a a tough job and it's a lot of responsibility. some kids see their teachers more than they see their parents. and so you're shaping these kids' minds and you're doing a a great job. whatever -- whatever you're getting paid, it's not enough. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] and we appreciate you. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: thank you for being teachers. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight. he's the host of "the daily show" and just launched the trevor noah foundation back home in south africa. trevor noah is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, she's the star of the new thriller "breaking in." it's great. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: gabrielle union is stopping by tonight.
11:42 pm
[ cheers and applause ] she's great. i saw her last night at the met ball. gorgeous. gabrielle and i are going to be doing something fun later you don't want to miss. and we have great music from chromeo featuring dram! >> steve: oh! [ cheers andpplause ] >> jimmy: look at that. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: look at that! what? anyways, i saw trevor last night. i saw gabrielle union. looked beautiful last night. i went to the met gala last night. [ cheers ] here in new york. very fancy. absolutely. yes, very fancy. yeah, i get invited every year. i don't know why anna wintour likes me. and so this is my tenth year going or something like that. and i really have no business going there, i'm a comedian. [ light laughter ] but i went, i had the greatest time. it was -- the theme was "heavenly bodies." so it was like fashion inspired by catholic imagination. [ laughter ] >> steve: catholic imagination? >> jimmy: i had a very, very -- i think that was the theme,
11:43 pm
something like that. i think -- but we get there and i remember i was taking the car. i had a car going to the resort. and i took over gq's instagram. and they asked me like "what -- do you have any red carpet advice?" and i said, "never follow a a kardashian." [ laughter ] because they're going to take all of the attention. that's all people really want to see is a beautiful kardashian in a nice dress and that's what all the people care about. so never follow a kardashian. anyways, i was waiting to on the red carpet and you're in like a holding area. and i was right behind kim kardashian. [ laughter ] and then behind me is cardi b. and i go -- [ laughter ] no one's even going to know that i'm there. they won't -- [ applause ] they don't even know i'm -- they're like, "go home. we only want to see those two people." and they both looked great. and it was fun. so i was like, "i just want to get through the red carpet." it's like these beautiful stairs, you walk up the met. it's unbelievable. so i see stephen colbert there with his beautiful wife, eve. and i was talking to them.
11:44 pm
and i go, "do you want to do a a bit or something? do you want to do the red carpet together?" he's like, "uh, yeah." he goes, "all right, i'll take -- i'll take eve upstairs, up the stairs, then we'll do our press line and then i'll come back down and get you." so then he came back down and got me and we walked like we were dates. [ laughter ] and i said, "do you want to do serious face?" he goes, "oh, yeah, let's do model, model faces." so this is me and stephen colbert last night. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: heavenly bodies! >> jimmy: he's unbelievable, man. he's so funny. i love the guy. he's so good. so then you get up to the thing and it's just -- everyone's just gorgeous. and just having fun and i heard the rumor that madonna was going to be performing, because your name's madonna. >> steve: right, yeah. what're you going to do? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so -- >> steve: catholic appreciation. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. so i go -- [ laughter ] so i go in and it's a -- it's a choir from the sistine chapel choir. [ audience ohs ] and i was like, "madonna is going to show up. i know it." [ light laughter ] as i'm watching the thing, who comes up next to me but
11:45 pm
madonna. so i go, "wow." i go, i thought you were -- [ light laughter ] guess she's not, you know, performing. so i go, "you look fantastic." and she goes, "bless you." [ laughter and applause ] madonna. so anyways, madonna leaves -- madonna gets totally bored with me, she leaves. [ laughter ] she wants to go talk to kim kardashian or cardi b. >> steve: that's right. cardi b's right there. >> jimmy: and so i'm just hanging and then i go sit at my table. and you sit at this assigned table and i'm at the table and they -- they -- i think i ate a cracker or something. i had a cracker and that's all i ate. and then the food started coming around, but then you -- you start hearing these gongs. that means you have to go, there's another performance. so i go, "you got to be kidding me." [ laughter ] i don't want to be rude. i mean obviously it's anna's party, and "vogue, and everyone. i just said hi to, you know, amal clooney. looked gorgeous. and i was like, "i don't want to just shove a lamb chop in my mouth."
11:46 pm
[ light laughter ] so i didn't really touch it. and i go, "okay, i'll go to the other gig." so i go to the gig and it's just -- it's like these monks. [ light laughter ] these guys are standing there like -- [ gregorian chant ] [ laughter ] and it's like beautiful and then -- so there's three monks. and then there's like five monks. [ gregorian chant ] [ light laughter ] and then there's like ten monks. [ gregorian chant ] and they start walking down the stairs. and they're like -- [ gregorian chant ] i go, "oh, wow, this is insane." [ light laughter ] and then there's like 20 monks on the thing and the one monk in the middle takes the robe off. it's madonna. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ah, busted! >> jimmy: she goes -- ♪ life is a mystery ♪ and i was like, "yes!" it was awesome. ♪ crushed! crushed, crushed, crushed. it was the coolest thing ever. [ cheers ] she knew what she was doing. she was standing next to me.
11:47 pm
oh, it was fantastic, man. anyway, that was my big night last night. it was really, really fun. [ cheers and applause ] guys, i always say that our show is lucky to have the greatest band in late night. the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] but it isn't always -- it isn't always fun and games. from time to time we put the roots to the test. we pick people from our audience and have the roots make up songs about them on the spot. [ cheers ] this is not planned out, this is real. ♪ it is time for freestyling with the roots. let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ time to freestyle with the roots ♪ >> jimmy: oh, oh! hey, roots! >> tariq: yes! >> jimmy: you guys ready to do this? [ cheers and applause ] who wants the roots to sing a a song about them? [ cheers and applause ]
11:48 pm
there you go, buddy. what is your name and what do you teach? >> my name is steven lombardo and i teach stem in william mckinnley is259. the pride of bay ridge, brooklyn, new york. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey now, there you go. bay ridge. bay ridge, brooklyn. now you teach stem? >> yes, s-t-e-m. >> jimmy: yep, that's -- [ laughter ] wow. [ cheers ] wow, i don't -- i don't look advanced to you, do i? yeah, there you go, yeah. s-t-e-m is how you spell stem. okay, thank you. lombardo, is that what it was? >> yes. >> jimmy: i can't read my own writing. okay, good. now it is teacher appreciation day. a lot of students like to get their teachers gifts to show their appreciation. what is the strangest thing a a student has ever given you? >> i received a doll that came out -- it was like a little -- like one of those chinese dolls that just came out. it just came out. and then at the end of it, it
11:49 pm
was just a little tiny piece of paper in origami that said, "thank you." but it was cute. it really wasn't the funniest, but it was something really nice that i saw from them. and then the russian doll just kind of fell apart afterward. and then when i asked him, i said, "where'd you get it?" he said, "oh, i got it right around the corner at one of the" -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not like he went on vacation or anything. >> yeah, no, no. >> jimmy: he got it from the deli. >> yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: a deli of new york city nesting doll. you think, if he went on vacation, oh, that's a nice souvenir. yeah, no, i got us the deli. okay, cool. all right and help me out if i get this wrong. guys, we have mr. lombardo. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that -- do you mind me calling you that? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: do kids call their teachers by their first names now? >> no, they call them mr. or mrs. >> jimmy: okay, good, perfect. and you teach at what school in bay ridge? >> william-mckinnley is259. >> jimmy: william-mckinnley, oh yeah. william-mckinnley, sorry, i-s --
11:50 pm
>> i-s-2-5-9. >> jimmy: i-s-2-5-9. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: william mckinnley -- 'cause tariq has to make this into a song. [ laughter ] william mckinnley i-s-2-5-9, bay ridge, brooklyn, new york. and the weirdest thing a a student ever gave him was a a russian nesting doll. [ laughter ] from a local deli here in new york city. so since this first -- since it's teacher appreciation day, roots can you guys maybe do like a jackson 5. like "a b c" -- "a b c" style song? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ steven lombardo teaches stem so you know he ain't no fool ♪ ♪ at william-mckinnley i-s-2-5-9 the favorite school ♪ ♪ teacher appreciation day got a bull russian doll ♪ ♪ it was hard to see the origami from nyc inside the doll ♪ ♪ he got nyc origami from the deli ♪ hey got origami nyc a deli
11:51 pm
got origami ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: i like how you got origami in there. origami. oh, i love it. hey, how are you! [ cheers and applause ] excuse me, guys. i want to get over on that side. nice to see you. going to cut across here. how you doing? i'm going to cut across here. nice to see you. yeah, if you don't mind. nice to see you. thank you. hey, how are you? nice to see you, looking good. [ cheers and applause ] sorry about that. hey, how you doing? i'm just trying to cross here. sorry about that. thank you very much. thank you for doing that -- oh, here we go -- [ cheers and applause ] this side! this is the side to be at right here. how you doing? >> yeah? oh, my god, okay! >> jimmy: sure, here we go. what is your name and what do you teach? >> my name is diane flug and i teach 7th grade science. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: diane flug. science. what school do you teach at? >> lower manhattan community middle school. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, there you go.
11:52 pm
lower manhattan community middle school. do you guys have stem over there? [ laughter ] >> i am part of the stem. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. it's -- that's the "s" part. that's the "s" part of stem. that's s-t -- it's s-t-e-m, mr. lombardo? [ laughter ] yeah, thank you. all right, right now we're in the middle of prom season and it's important to have some good dance moves at the prom. what was your go to dance move when you were in high school? >> does it have to be when i'm in high school or what i would do right now? >> jimmy: right now. >> "bad romance" by lady gaga. i would definitely do a dance, yep. i know the dance. >> jimmy: you know the whole dance? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i have a feeling we're going to get to that. [ laughter ] guys -- you guys, we have ms. flug here, okay? who teaches science. and she teaches at the lower manhattan community middle school. >> yes. >> jimmy: and her go to dance move right now and forever more
11:53 pm
is lady gaga, "bad romance." and for this one, abba just reunited. so can you guys do a fun disco, "dancing queen" kind of song? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ okay diane flug with a g teach 7th grade science in lower manhattan community middle school ♪ ♪ and if she was at prom she wouldn't dance like mom she'd do a little gaga to a little bad rom ♪ ♪ she teach 7th grade in the middle grade in the community ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, ms. flug, thank you. thank you, everybody. ♪ thank you, everybody.
11:54 pm
thank you to all of the teachers. thank you to the roots. we'll be right back with trevor noah, everybody. thank you! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:55 pm
merci, to my kids' preschool teacher, miss alelli, for being such an inspiration in their lives. say thank you with merci. the thoughtful collection of european chocolates. perfect for teacher appreciation week. cheez-it grooves. deep flavor, deep crunch. it has grooves like deep valleys of flavor. the grooviest cheese mountain ranges. it's crunchy like a crater. it's a cavern of crunch. and bold like a volcano of cheese. or a bold cheese waterfall! cheez-it grooves. cheez-it like never before. at t-mobile, we don't just see uniforms. we see the people behind them. so we're committed to helping veterans through job training when their service ends... and to hiring 10,000 veterans and military spouses to be part of our workforce in the next 5 years.
11:56 pm
because no matter where you serve... or when you serve... t-mobile stands ready to serve you. so we provide half-off on all family lines for military. a high-stakes debate for the govers race... this was our first and only chance to see the top 6 candidates...on one stage. if you missed it go to nbc bay area dot com to check it out. an east bay school in mourning after the death of a classmate. the san ramon valley high school freshman was found unresponsive at the school )s pool. we )re tweeting the latest on the investigation.
11:57 pm
11:58 pm
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by the host of "the daily show," which airs weeknights at 11:00 p.m. on comedy central and last month he launched the "trevor noah foundation." a brand new youth development initiative in johannesburg, south africa. please welcome trevor noah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: trevor noah! great to see you! >> i just saw you last night. >> jimmy: i just saw you last night. >> we have to act like we didn't see each other now. >> jimmy: i know, exactly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: dude, you were a a stud. i saw you all dressed up. here's a picture of you and i.
11:59 pm
>> who is that handsome fellow? oh, wow. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's from the thing last night. and you looked great, by the way. >> you looked like i caught you in new york and, like, you're the celebrity and i'm some random person. look how happy i look in that picture. [ laughter ] and look at your face. that's how i look. looks, i'm like, "jimmy fallon! ahh!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jimmy show. dude, i'm so glad you're here. >> thank you so much, man. nothing but teachers in the audience tonight. >> thank you! [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: isn't that cool? i thought it'd be fun to ask you, do you have a favorite teacher? do you have a teacher moment that you -- >> i had so many amazing -- i had favorite teachers for different reasons. i had some teachers who were my favorites just because they made me laugh. like mrs. partridge was one of my favorite teachers. she was really, really angry all the time for, like, no reason. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, like, i remember one -- and -- my thing is she'd get angry and say things that didn't match up with why she
12:00 am
was angry. [ laughter ] so, like, one time in class we were talking and then she was like, she's like, "boy, you can't be quiet! did you know -- [ laughter ] that in the year 2010 one in five people will have aids?" [ laughter ] and i was just like -- she was, like, trying to tell us a fact. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, you should -- instead of, like, i get what she was trying to do. she was saying, like, instead of talking you should be learning. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] and it made it sound like she was threatening us. [ laughter ] it's like, "if you guys don't stop talking, one in five of you will have aids!" and i was just like -- >> jimmy: >> yeah. so, she was fun. teachers who always engaged me in a way that made me feel like they loved the subject as much as they wanted me to love it. you know, and they -- and those subjects, they stuck with me forever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, i had a business economics teacher, mr. darby. he, like, he would, like, turn the lesson into an activity. it wasn't on the page. it lived in the world. he was like, "this is business. this is what you need to learn about life." you know, i remember our
12:01 am
phenomenal. like, i love history today because of her because she made it a real thing. she made us talk about -- like, she went, like, "forget the dates." she's like, "a lot of time people focus on the dates. they don't think about the the dates are part of it. but the story is wha supposed to be learning from and so she just went like, "reme it shouldn't happen again, what we and i keep that 'til this day, i love all of those subjects because of those [ cheers and appl >> jimmy: absolutely. >> yeah. >> jimmy: tell us about the "trevor noah foundation." >> oh, man. that's exciting. i guess that comes off of my love for education, teachers, and giving kids an opportunity. so my dream, you know, once i had the opportunity to give anything back was to find a way to help grow education in south africa. one of the biggest things i had growing up was my mother was self-educated, you know. and in south africa during apartheid black people weren't given access to education. my mother still found a way to teach herself, and because of her i got a chance to teach -- to learn in good schools and because of that i think, like, every generation of my family
12:02 am
will get better. and i was like, "that education is that one step, stepping-stone that gets people to the next level." so i decided to get involved. i was like, i'm going to help schools. i'm going to get involved, find schools where they're doing amazing things. so the school we started with is the new nation school in johannesburg. i found this school where basically it's a school for orphans or people that are -- kids that have been orphaned by the state and these kids are learning -- they have nothing. they don't have lunch. they don't have dinner and they eat maybe one meal a day, but these kids are learning. they're working as hard as every other kid. they're proud of what they do. they're proud of who they are and i was like, "if they can do this with nothing, imagine what they can do with just a little >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was like, "i can help them get a lot more than that so --" [ cheers and >> jimmy: just get 'em started. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: imagine, imagine. and bill gates is helping you, right? bill gates and microsoft? >> yeah, well, i was lucky enough to team up with microsoft. like, they said, "hey, what do
12:03 am
you need? >> and microsoft came onboard and they said, hey, we'll give you computers, we'll help you train the teachers, which is as important as to giving access to the kids." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, totally. [ talking over each other ] how are they supposed to how they're doing everything. >> yeah, the programming and their skills. and then because of that, bill gates was, like, "hey, congrats, trevor noah. i'm a big fan of what you're doing with the 'trevor noah foundation.' i'm excited to see what you're going to do." and it was weird because it's bill gates. like, bill gates is like, his thing is to end malaria. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> like, so i was like, "yeah, i'll ha [ laughter and app >> jimmy: you're like a a superhero. >> yes, he's being really nice. so i'm doing my part, but, you know -- >> jimmy: awesome, buddy. >> you yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. congrats on that and y it's just the best. you and your team do a great >> thank you. thank you so much. thank you. >> jimmy: last time we w it really is great. we were talking about -- we were talking about the president and how he has these -- phrases. >> right. right. right. catchphrases. >> jimmy: his catchphrases that stick in your head and
12:04 am
almost -- you said he almost sounds like a reggae. >> well, he's musical. [ laughter ] that's how i hear trump. like, if i -- like, a lot of the time i don't watch news, i listen to the news. so i'll do other things and i'll be listening. and whenever trump comes on -- so for instance, he made a a comment the other day that really angered people in the u.k. he was saying that the u.k. is worse than the u.s. because they don't have guns so they have knife crimes. and he was describing it and he's like, he's like, "so many crimes. they say there's a hospital somewhere in the middle, somewhere in the middle. [ laughter ] they say there's blood everywhere, folks. [ laughter ] it's like a war zone. it's like a war zone because the people just go around, [ laughter ] knives, knives, knives." [ applause ] and i was just like -- >> jimmy: that was fantastic. >> and the way he says, like -- >> together: "knifes, knives, knives. knives, knives, knives." ♪ knives knives knives knives knives don't go stabbing don't go joking ♪ ♪ don't go dying them be dying with the knives knives knives ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ them got the
12:05 am
knifes knives knives ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. watch trevor noah host "the daily show" weeknights at 11:00 p.m. on comedy central. gabrielle union and i are doing something fun after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's time for some straight talk. sign the contract... and get a free smartphone! oh, our lawyer does that every time i say "free." those "free phones" from the big carriers actually lock you into a pricey, long-term contract. tricky, guys. tricky! with straight talk wireless, you can own an amazing new iphone 8 for just under 35 bucks a month. no contract. cancel anytime, no penalties. why haven't i switched? get more high-speed data than ever before with the iphone 8 on america's best networks. find out more at straighttalk.com
12:06 am
you ever had a snickers® ahmend? i love ahmends. do you like ahmends? i like almonds... that's what i said, ahmends. (grunt) (thud) (crash, honk) driver: it's almond with an "l". why shop marshalls? because shopping should thrill you. with big brands at small prices... for the whole family! woo hoo! and unexpected finds you never knew you were looking for. so every trip feels like, an instant victory. that's the fun of marshalls! with brands that wow and prices that thrill. marshalls is never boring. and always surprising.
12:07 am
( ♪ ) mother's day gifts. in stores and at edible.com john tyson's motto was " when better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them." it's why all of the tyson chicken that bears his name is raised with no antibiotics ever. every nugget, strip and drumstick. keep it real. keep it tyson.
12:08 am
12:09 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ school bell rings ] >> jimmy: good morning, saugerties high! you're having a terrific tuesday. this is principal davidson. >> and i am vice principal cook. and it's time for the morning announcements. now, for any of you freshmen out there, just a quick fyi. we have been voted the most entertaining -- >> jimmy: and musical. >> morning announcement duo in
12:10 am
the tri-county area 11 years running. >> jimmy: that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> we like to take popular diddies and put our own saugerties high school spin on 'em. >> jimmy: so all aboard the morning train. next stop, announcement town. choo, choo! >> yeah. >> jimmy: first order, beeswax, we want to remind teachers and students that our local fire department will be stopping by in the a.m. >> well, let's just say things might get a little loud. ♪ ♪ wee woo that's a sound you shouldn't ignore ♪ ♪ just take the stairs then file out the back door ♪ ♪ stop drop and roll there's a fire drill ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what do we have here now? i think s.t.e.m. is spelled s-t- -- >> oh, oh, oh! [ laughter and applause ] what's this? what's this?
12:11 am
oh, gosh, we've got some late-breaking announcements. looks like we're going to need the following students to stop by the office. ♪ ♪ amanda ooh, nah, nah the lost and found has your new camera ooh, nah, nah ♪ ♪ diana ooh, nah, nah ♪ ♪ there's some bad news about your grandma ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: stop. oh, sorry. sorry, we should have read that. we should have read these before we sang it. >> our bad. our bad. >> jimmy: that's is -- >> whoopsies. >> jimmy: that's on me. we have some very, very exciting news. for the first time in 10 years, every senior is on track to graduate. some of you cut it pretty close -- [ cheers and applause ] but -- ♪ ♪ there's no debating the seniors are graduating ♪ ♪ for four years they have been waiting ♪ ♪ this year ain't no one getting held back ♪
12:12 am
♪ you all worked real hard so everybody is passing and yes that even means jason jason, we all thought ♪ ♪ that you'd get held back ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> it's getting hot in hur. >> jimmy: it got hot in hur, definitely. >> it's hot in hur. [ mimicking air horn ] >> jimmy: it's time for our prom, you kids. ours truly will be there. >> and here's a little reminder about your conduct on the dance floor. ♪ ♪ because i don't dance now i just chaperone ♪ ♪ better leave room for the holy ghost ♪ ♪ if i see you dancing dirty i'll escort you to the hall ♪ ♪ i'm the boss you're the students, bitch there's no grindin', y'all ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: all right, everybody! have a great day. have a great day, saugerties
12:13 am
high! ♪ prepare for your demise, mr. billingsley! do your worst, doctor. i will. but first, a little presentation. hijacking earth's geothermal energy supply. phase 1. choosing the right drill bit. as long as evil villains reveal their plans, you can count on geico saving folks money. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. merci, to my kids' preschool teacher, miss alelli, for being such an inspiration in their lives. say thank you with merci. the thoughtful collection of european chocolates. perfect for teacher appreciation week. what's wrong? it's my job to worry about you. mom! we want something in the house. do what i say or you will not survive. you don't know what i'm capable of.
12:14 am
♪ but you're about to find out. rated pg-13. dave, i think they want everyone to try some. dave, this is bordering on inconsiderate. yup, tastes just like us. aww, c'mon. gee, this is why you weren't my best man, dave. it's really good. mhmm. mangoes agree. snapple mango tea tastes just like them. i'm captain obvious and hotels.com rewards me basically everywhere. so why am i stomping grapes with aerobics enthusiasts near this b&b? because hotels.com lets me do me.
12:15 am
mmm. foot juice. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. t.j.maxx asks, what makes your mom unique? she's pretty and nice like me. she is special. he knows me better than my husband some days. my mom likes pink. mommy loves roses. it's a surprise. you picked this out by yourself? it's a purse. i know you love purses! i do! celebrate the unique mom in your
12:16 am
life with values everyone will love. happy mother's day!
12:17 am
there's only one word for the all new together forever-a pixar night time spectacular. ooohhhh. ahhhhhh. okay, maybe two. celebrate friendship and beyond at pixar fest. staring april 13th at disneyland resort.
12:18 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very talented actress and a a "new york times" best-selling author. she stars in the new film "breaking in," which hits theaters this friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome gabrielle union! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: gabrielle, you look fantastic! >> thank you. this is kind of the look i saw you in last night. >> jimmy: that was -- yeah, that's like the mess hall move. you look fantastic.
12:19 am
>> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what were you -- who were you wearing last night? >> provel. provel. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. it was gorgeous. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: do you enjoy those things? >> i had a ball last night. >> jimmy: right? >> last night, we -- it was like we came out of the shadows. we were, you know, just enjoying ourselves full tilt. >> jimmy: you really did go full tilt. >> oh, yeah. we went all in. >> jimmy: well, thank you for showing up today. >> it's a little -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i appreciated that, yeah. >> i did have a hennessy earlier in the day. >> jimmy: perfect, that's great. a little hair of the dog. >> jimmy: a little hair of the dog, they say. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank you for doing the morning announcements. you are so good at that. you are so fun. >> that was -- well, i was trying for my mom's voice -- that's actually my mom's voice, except, i didn't do a great job i couldn't find her voice. >> jim i think i did it -- i did it it was unbelievable.
12:20 am
we're different people, i guess. >> my mom is, she's so gosh. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, geez. >> jimmy: is it with -- >> you guys wanted to play with catholicism last night, huh? you want to play with jesus? >> jimmy: you want to play with jesus? >> you want to play with jesus and make jesus a team? [ laughter ] jesus isn't a team. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> okay? >> jimmy: oh, my god. jesus is not a team, okay? >> he's not a team. he's in your heart. >> jimmy: he's in your heart. >> in your heart. >> jimmy: we have all of these great teachers in our audience tonight. isn't that a great crowd? [ cheers and applause ] this is going to be fun to ask. do you have a story of a a teacher that changed your life or -- >> professor -- yeah. professor hill at ucla who taught african-american studies. and he really empowered me to have so much more pride in my people, and in our history and to take ownership of that knowledge. and it really gave me a lot of pride that i was lacking. >> jimmy: professor hill. >> professor hill at ucla. >> jimmy: that's super cool. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you just said something recently. you and your husband.
12:21 am
very nice -- i thought you had -- you paid for kids to go to the march for our lives march in d.c. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i just think that's fantastic. you gave like $200,000 to help kids from chicago go -- >> 250. >> jimmy: 250. wow, sorry for that. yeah, yeah. i forgot -- tax and stuff. yeah, yeah. but that was super nice of you to do that. >> we just feel like that's our duty as decent human beings that i can afford to give a a little bit more. we all got a lot as kids, and now that we're in a position to give back, we have to, and we also want to challenge our friends so carmelo anthony, he got involved and chris paul got involved and they sent kids from their hometowns to the march as well. so, you know, all different kinds of kids around the country can be represented. >> jimmy: can we talk "breaking in"? >> yes. >> jimmy: i want to talk about this movie. i am so excited about this. and it's the perfect weekend to come out -- it's mother's day weekend. >> yes. and who is more kick butt than mothers? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i know, exactly. i thought about it because i
12:22 am
know it's out this weekend. "breaking in," i saw this poster, i had to show it. it says, "payback is a mother." [ light laughter ] set up "breaking in" for me. >> so a mom, you know, after a a long car ride with her kids, you know, we've all been there. she needed a drink, okay. so she went outside to have a a cocktail and cut to all hell breaks loose. the bad guys break in to her father's whose recently passed away super fortified house and she has to figure out a way to break in to save her kids. >> jimmy: yeah, and i got to say, the scene where the kids are in there, they're like screaming, "mom!" and the shade thing is going down and, you're like, "i'm going to get you, i'm going to get you!" it's fantastic. >> look, what i love is that this woman is capable. so as i'm reading the script, i'm, like, "she better not fall at an inopportune time." [ laughter ] nobody better come save her, and then, i was like, "look at her being all capable and stuff." [ laughter ] so that could've killed you. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: let her be all capable and stuff. >> all capable and stuff. >> jimmy: you're fantastic in
12:23 am
it. it's really, really fun. i want to show everyone a clip. here's gabrielle union in "breaking in." take a look. >> listen, shaun. i want to end this as much as you do. >> great. you tell my children to come outside. you don't touch them, we'll walk into the woods. and you don't follow. when we're in the clear, i'll let him go. >> and how do i know i can trust you? >> you don't, but you'll know you'll do whatever you have to do because there's nothing else you can do. you're a man at the mercy of a a woman. greatest weakness -- >> jimmy: ooh! payback is a mother! "breaking in," gabrielle union, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "breaking in" hits theaters on friday. we'll be back with a a performance from chromeo featuring dram! stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:24 am
( ♪ ) it's the details that make the difference. only botox® cosmetic is fda approved to temporarily make frown lines crow's feet and forehead lines look better. it's a quick 10 minute treatment given by a doctor to reduce those lines. ask your doctor about botox® cosmetic by name. the effects of botox® cosmetic, may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be a sign of a life-threatening condition. do not receive botox® cosmetic if you have a skin infection. side effects may include allergic reactions injection site pain, headache, eyelid and eyebrow drooping and eyelid swelling. tell your doctor about your medical history muscle or nerve conditions and medications including botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. the details make a difference. the man makes them matter. see real results at botoxcosmetic.com/men.
12:25 am
cheez-it grooves. deep flavor, deep crunch. it has grooves like deep valleys of flavor. the grooviest cheese mountain ranges. it's crunchy like a crater. it's a cavern of crunch. and bold like a volcano of cheese. or a bold cheese waterfall! cheez-it grooves. cheez-it like never before.
12:26 am
at t-mobile, we don't just see uniforms. we see the people behind them. so we're committed to helping veterans through job training when their service ends... and to hiring 10,000 veterans and military spouses to be part of our workforce in the next 5 years. because no matter where you serve... or when you serve... t-mobile stands ready to serve you. so we provide half-off on all family lines for military.
12:27 am
12:28 am
12:29 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing "must've been" from their upcoming album "head over heels" featuring dram, jesse johnson, and the roots, give it up for chromeo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i must've been yeah ♪ ♪ one hit of you
12:30 am
i went through the roof your love's so strong that's a hundred proof ♪ ♪ too much of you i ain't drivin' home no i ain't spendin' the night alone ♪ >> here we go. ♪ all this lyin' ♪ got me stressin' yeah tell me why you keep me guessin' ♪ ♪ i wish i'd have learned my lesson but i wanted you yeah i wanted you ♪ >> dram! ♪ i must've been high when i met you out of my mind when i decided to love you ♪ ♪ now i'm just tryin' to forget you i must've been i must've been ♪ ♪ i must've been high when i met you out of my mind when i decided to love you ♪ ♪ i must've been drunk off your words twisted off your kisses i know ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been
12:31 am
high ♪ ♪ i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ oh i must've been high ♪ ♪ could be mary could be molly could be you ♪ ♪ y'all girls got me in a trance hypnotized can't wake up fantasizing ♪ ♪ could be christina or lucy can't believe this how y'all do me ♪ ♪ you only call me to use me and abuse me ♪ ♪ all this lyin' got me stressin' tell me why you keep me guessin' ♪ ♪ you keep me guessin' ♪ ♪ i wish i'd have learned my lesson but i wanted you yeah i wanted you ♪ ♪ i must've been high when i met you out of my mind when i decided to love you ♪ ♪ now i'm just tryin' to forget you i must've been i must've been ♪ ♪ i must've been high
12:32 am
when i met you out of my mind when i decided to love you ♪ ♪ i must've been drunk off your words twisted off your kisses i know ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high when i met you ♪ ♪ i'm comin' down like a flight of stairs i guess i'm finally seein' clear ♪ ♪ i know i promised i wouldn't call but i guess i'm just goin' through withdrawal ♪ ♪ i must've been high when i met you out of my mind when i decided to love you ♪ ♪ i must've been drunk off your words twisted off your kisses i know ♪ ♪ i must've been
12:33 am
i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ i must've been i must've been high ♪ ♪ high when i met you yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, oh, oh! thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! dram, thank you. oh, my goodness! thank you, thank you! chromeo! [ cheers and applause ] dram! jesse johnson! [ cheers and applause ] "head over heels" is out june 15th. we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:34 am
12:35 am
at stanford health care, we can now simulate the exact anatomy of a patient's brain before surgery. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for seizures. and if we can fix damaged heart valves without open heart surgery imagine what we can do for an irregular heartbeat even high blood pressure. if we can use analyze each patient's breast cancer to personalize their treatment imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you.
12:36 am
12:37 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to trevor noah, gabrielle union, chromeo! [ cheers and applause ] dram! jesse johnson! [ cheers and applause ] all of the great teachers in our audience, we love you so much! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching! have a great night! i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

548 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on