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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  April 6, 2019 12:37am-1:38am PDT

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- representative alexandria ocasio cortz, actor and author, andrew rannells, chef and author, carli lalli mussic featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to "the wall street journal," former vice president joe biden has told several supporters that he intends to run for president in 2020.
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oh my god, just announce already. it's like going to a lou bega concert and wondering if he's going to play "mambo no. 5." he's gonna. [ laughter ] joe biden is the kid you played hide and seek with who would hide behind a sheer curtain. we see you. [ laughter ] democratic presidential candidate john hickenlooper revealed in a town hall last night that he once brought his mother with him to a screening of the movie, "deep throat" due to confusion over movie ratings saying, quote, "i didn't know what was an x movie was. we thought it was a little naughty, but we didn't think it was that bad." wait a minute, you stayed? [ laughter ] i saw the topless scene in "titanic" with my mom, and we haven't spoken since. [ laughter ] she's never met her grandkids. according to a new poll, 55% of americans are in favor of abolishing the electoral college, but unfortunately, because of the electoral college, 55% is less than half.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what are you going to do? rules are rules. march madness began today with top seeds going to duke, gonzaga, virginia, and in a stunning abuse of power, trump university. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] new york governor andrew cuomo has endorsed a new two-strikes plans that the would permanently ban people from the subway if they're convicted of two sexual offenses on mass transit. first of all, two? [ light laughter ] you're just telling every pervert in town, hey, first one's on the house. [ laughter ] second of all, two strikes isn't an expression. all two strikes mean is you're definitely going to swing at the next one. [ light laughter ] according to a new survey, nearly half of americans rely on online news sources to stay up to date on current events while others use reruns of "saturday night live." [ laughter ] schools in --
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[ cheers and applause ] schools in england are reportedly removing analog clocks from their exam rooms after they found that many students do not know how to tell time. even worse, they did this. [ laughter ] according to a new study, happiness in the united states is at its lowest point on record. "really? i hadn't noticed," said a wind surfing barack obama. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman in wisconsin was arrested over the weekend after allegedly handing out marijuana cookies at a st. patrick's day parade. police became suspicious when nobody got into a fistfight. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. she is the u.s. representative for new york's 14th congressional district, alexandria ocasio-cortez. is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] very excited to have her here. he is a fantastic actor you know from "the book of mormon," "girls," and "black monday." his new memoir, "too much is not enough: a memoir of fumbling towards adulthood" is available now.
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andrew rannells is back, everyone. and she's the talented chef and the food director at bon appetit who is here to tell us about her new cookbook, and will be making some incredible blts for us. carla lalli music. so you are here on a great night. just a heads up, tomorrow night, i'm going to be at the civic theater in new orleans doing standup. saturday night, carolina theater in durham, north carolina. so, come check me out if you live near either of those places. before we get to the rest of our show and our fantastic guests, the president is already ramping up his re-election campaign as the specter of robert mueller's report looms over him. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: trump's campaign team is signaling to reporters that they want to build a massive re-election machine with tons of money and resources. but as cnn reported this week, trump's campaign also keeps insisting to reporters that trump himself, is in charge. >> we're getting a rare exclusive look inside the trump 2020 re-election campaign that's been humming since his inauguration day.
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we're hearing about the changes that they've made to better use technology, and as cnn's chief political correspondent dana bash now reports, how even the president's campaign manager admits that trump is the communications director, the finance director, campaign manager, and master of the trump train. >> seth: i mean, maybe he has all those jobs because no one else wants those jobs. [ laughter ] after the last -- [ cheers and applause ] remember, after the last election, his campaign chairman, deputy campaign chairman, national security adviser, foreign policy adviser, informal outside adviser, and personal lawyer all got indicted or went to jail. [ light laughter ] it's really hard to make "ocean's 12" when "ocean's 11" is facing 15 to 20. [ laughter ] if you get a job working for trump's reelection campaign, they hand you an hr manual and a jumpsuit. [ light laughter ] i'm just kidding, they don't have hr manuals. [ light laughter ] also can we hear the list of jobs trump supposedly has again? >> trump is the communications
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director, the finance director, campaign manager, and master of the trump train. >> seth: master of the trump train sounds like a fun one they made up to keep his attention in a meeting. [ laughter ] all right, kellyanne, you talk to reporters, stephen, you're in charge of immigration policy. and donald, you get to be the conductor of the trump train. [ laughter ] here's your official hat. [ cheers and applause ] now, no one should assume that trump is going to be easy to beat. but as his re-election campaign ramps up, he's preparing for the political fallout from special counsel robert mueller's looming report which could come out any week now. yesterday trump was asked if he would be in favor of making mueller's report public, and he insisted that he would be. although if you listen to trump's rambling answers, it's hard to believe that he genuinely wants the report to come out. >> i just won an election with 63 million votes or so. 63 million. i got 306 electoral votes against 223. that's a tremendous victory. and now somebody just writes a report. i think it's ridiculous. i know that he's conflicted, and
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i know that his best friend is comey, who's a bad cop. i know that he put 13 highly conflicted, and you know, very angry -- i call them angry democrats in. there's no collusion. there was no collusion. there was no obstruction. there was no nothing. with all of that being said, i look forward to seeing the report. [ laughter ] >> seth: with all that being said," doesn't really work when you just said all that. [ light laughter ] it's like if a cop pulled you over and asked if you'd been drinking, and you said, well, officer, i had three beers, three shots of whiskeys, a screwdriver, a margarita, two mai tais, a martini, a bottle of wine, six jell-o shots, and a line of coke. with all that being said, i think i'm good to drive. [ laughter ] but it's important to remember that mueller's report is not the be all end all, and russian collusion is not the only crime trump is being investigated for. in fact, there are multiple law enforcement agencies investigating virtually every aspect of trump's life, from his personal finances to his business. and this week, we got some blockbuster reporting suggesting that trump may have lied to a bank about his net worth to get
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a loan. >> "the new york times" is reporting that years ago, deutsche bank loaned over $2 billion to president trump even though they allegedly knew that he was lying about his net worth. the story says, quote, "mr. trump told deutsche bank his net worth was about $3 billion, but when the bank employees reviewed his finances, they concluded he was worth about $788 million. >> seth: he inflated his net worth by more than $2 billion. it's like when you see a guy on tinder who says he speaks six languages, and then he takes you to starbucks, and goes can i have a farpachino? [ laughter ] you want a farpachino? make it do so. but the craziest part of this story is that despite all the red flags, deutsche bank gave trump billions of dollars, anyway. time after time the bank handed money, a total of $2 billion to a man who nearly ail other banks had deemed untouchable. aside from his history of defaults, he was an attractive borrower. that is an insane sentence. a history of defaults is what makes you an unattractive borrower. this is like an episode of "dateline" that starts, "he was
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an attractive husband, aside from his history of murder." ♪ [ laughter ] this story is such a perfect microcosm of how the game is rigged for people like donald trump. the guy allegedly lied about his net worth, and defaulted on loans, and yet a major bank was happy to give him $2 billion. compare that to the 2008 financial crisis, when conservatives were furious at the idea that president obama was going to help out struggling homeowners who couldn't pay their mortgages. conservatives said at the time that if you took out a mortgage you couldn't afford, it was your fault. you might even remember this famous rant on cnbc by a guy named rick santelli. this is the rant that is credited by many people with starting the tea party movement. >> the government is promoting bad behavior. how about this, president and new administration? why don't you put up a website to have people vote on the internet as a referendum to see if we really want to subsidize the losers' mortgages. this is america. how many of you people want to pay for your neighbors' mortgage that has an extra bathroom, and can't pay their bills?
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raise their hand. how about we all -- [ booing ] president obama, are you listening? >> seth: to answer your question, no, he wasn't, because we used to have a president who didn't spend all day watching cable tv. [ laughter ] now -- [ cheers and applause ] now if you go on tv and say, "president trump, are you listening?" he would call in five minutes later. [ light laughter ] "heard you loud and clear." and yet despite the culture of criminality and corruption surrounding the president, republicans are already falling in line with his re-election bid, even the ones who have expressed reservations about him. take, for example, texas congressman will hurd, who has criticized trump's demand for a border wall. hurd has cast himself as a champion of bipartisan compromise. in fact in 2017, he famously went on a 36 hour road trip with democrat beto o'rourke. they even live streamed parts of it on facebook. >> after 36 hours and 1,600 miles from san antonio to washington in a chevy impala, democrat beto o'rourke, and republican will hurd have become a little closer. ♪
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♪ we're the best of friends ♪ [ light laughter ] >> on the road they found a mutual appreciation for country music, fast food -- >> whataburger unites us all. >> and topics that you'll never find in any buddy movie. >> we need to be bringing more people on the health care rolls, not fewer. >> building a wall from sea to shining sea is the most expensive and least effective way to do border security. >> seth: wow, that is the most policy heavy road trip since that documentary about legalizing weed starring cheech and chong. [ light laughter ] the road trip went viral, and beto even declined to help hurd's democratic opponent in 2018 as a sign of their friendship. so naturally, when was hurd was asked earlier this month if he would vote for his friend, beto, over the president, he has repeatedly criticized, hurd said he would definitely vote for donald trump. >> who would you vote for between beto o'rourke and donald trump? >> my plan is to vote for the republican nominee. >> seth: man, you know it's bad when you can't even say the name of the guy you're voting for. [ light laughter ] republicans are going to have to print out lawn signs that say republican nominee, whoever that
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is, 2020. [ laughter ] also, you're going to toss beto after all you've been through? because if you went on a road trip and ate whataburger, i can only imagine the fart cloud you two shared. [ light laughter ] right wing pundits who distance themselves from trump are falling in line too, like former fox news host, glenn beck. beck spent most of the years as one of the most unhinged voices on fox, warning that nefarious forces were destroying the country, and trying to prove that obama was a dictator by circling random letters on a chalkboard like he was playing a dickhead version of the jumble. >> obama, the left, internationalists. graft. a.c.o.r.n. style organizations. revolution. and hidden agenda. o-l-i-g-a-r-h." one letter is missing. and then tie them all together into one word. oligarch. the one that's missing is "y." [ laughter ] >> seth: no. no. that's not. that's not the letter you're missing. you spelled oligarhy without a
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"c." [ light laughter ] that's oligarhy. you're closer to spelling olive garden. [ laughter ] now, now -- [ applause ] in 2016, beck seemed to have a change of heart. he apologized for extremist rhetoric, said he would not vote for trump, and even told "the new york times", i think he could be one the most dangerous presidents to ever come into the oval office. at the time many suspected this was all just an act to rebrand himself, and when he went on fox news this week to talk about 2020, he finally dropped the act. >> i will tell you this, if the republicans don't win in this next election, i think we are officially at the end of the country as we know it. >> seth: oh, my god. hold on, you guys. he's on fox news talking about the end of the united states which can mean only one thing, f-u. [ laughter and applause ] and i'm sorry, but we're not -- [ cheers and applause ]
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we're not taking political advice -- nobody wants to take political advice from divorced santa claus over here. [ laughter ] and we can tell he's pandering to trump because he started to dress like the colonel. [ light laughter ] republicans are falling in line with trump's re-election bid despite the culture of corruption and criminality around him. so many of his closest associates have been indicted, and every aspect of his personal life is being investigated. at this point, in order not to find a crime, you'd have to be a -- >> bad cop. >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with representative alexandria ocasio-cortez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill, too. but it's not birth control.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, so happy to have fred armisen back this week. it's been great having you here, buddy. >> fred: thanks, seth. >> seth: our first guest tonight is the youngest woman ever elected to congress. she represents new york's 14th district. please welcome to the show, representative alexandria ocasio-cortez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: welcome to the show. >> thank you, thank you for having me. >> seth: we're so happy to have you here. i have -- i think a lot of people have really enjoyed watching this new wave of people come into congress. of course, you're one of them. and one of the things i particularly enjoyed watching you do is ask people questions on congressional panels. now, this is not something you had experience with. you famously did not have any experience in politics before this job. why do you think it is that you are good at it and do you think anything you did that was outside of politics has been helpful? >> well, i think one thing is that -- i was reflecting because -- i was just reflecting today because exactly a year ago, i was working in a restaurant. i was bartending. and i think that that proximity, just being a real working person in the halls of congress, is actually such a jarring difference --
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>> seth: yes. >> -- from who has historically been there, that it really allows you to cut through the bs super quickly and -- especially with someone who had to, you know, close up a restaurant at night and have to kick everyone out, like, you're really good at just saying, hey. >> seth: yeah. >> enough. >> seth: i -- [ cheers and applause ] it strikes me -- you know, oftentimes you're given five minutes to ask questions and you're given someone who, obviously if given time, you'd want to ask a lot more of. it strikes me as if some of you go in with a plan, you strike me as one of those people. and this is true of a lot of other democrats as well as many republicans, come in with no plan at all. when you're sitting there, are you often taken aback about how bad they are at asking questions? [ laughter ] >> well, sometimes especially with my republican colleagues, they say things and i'm like, what does that have to do with what we're talking about? there's this is one member who famously, every single financial services committee hearing, he says, "i ask everyone this, are
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you a capitalist or a socialist?" and the person's, like, in charge of national flood insurance program, they're, like, what? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and the best thing, too, is this -- you know, last week, he actually said, are you a capitalist or socialist? yes or no? and the woman said, yes or no? and he says, yeah. and she goes, yes. [ laughter ] and it was the whole panel -- and he made everyone go down and everyone said, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. [ laughter ] and then i said, "hey, it's great if we have a mixed economy." it's possible. >> seth: yeah, you don't know which one they are. which one they were saying yes to. one obsession, or i should say, a group of people that seem to have an obsession with you is our friends over at fox news. >> oh yeah. >> seth: they talk about you a lot. are you surprised with the speed at which they seem to have shifted all their attention and programming to you? >> i mean, it's weird. like, why are so many grown men just obsessed with this, like,
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29-year-old? i mean, it's great. i love the -- [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: i mean -- i mean -- >> on second thought. no. but i think it's really funny and the conspiracy theories are great. >> seth: yeah, well today, mike huckabee said that there are -- he did that great thing that people on fox news do which he said, you know, some people are saying she's a manchurian candidate, i don't know. which is a super classy thing to do. if you don't know, mike huckabee is a famous bass player. [ laughter ] are you -- just since i have you here, are you a manchurian candidate? >> i'm not. >> seth: that's exactly what a manchurian candidate would say. >> yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] >> seth: exactly. caught you. >> i'm not a manchurian candidate but i do have amazing staff and in no part thanks to the fact that we pay a living wage in our office. we don't pay any less than $52,000 a year. which means -- [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: yeah. >> which means so far two of my staffers have been able to quit their second jobs in restaurants
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and be fully present at work. and so, you know, i hope it's a lesson to our folks on the other side of the aisle that if you pay your staff, then -- >> seth: you'll be prepared. >> you'll be prepared. you won't be saying yes or no, capitalism or socialism. [ laughter ] >> seth: one thing i'm curious about, because obviously a lot of people, your colleagues across the aisle, they also consume a lot of fox news. do they then get, you know, bad information about you? and how has your interaction with them been so far? >> yeah, yeah. well, it is funny because one of the side effects of, kind of, this fox news lunacy is that other actual members of congress, like, believe it, and see it uncritically. and so i was on the floor once, and this guy came up to me and he was like, "is it true that you got $10 million from netflix?" and i was like, "no." it was like, in the well, like, we're voting on gun reform.
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and i'm like, "what else do you not know?" [ light laughter ] this is concerning. >> seth: he said, did you made $10 million or no money, yes or no? >> yes. exactly. >> seth: did you -- [ applause ] i want to talk about certainly another thing, give you a chance to clarify, the green new deal. >> yeah. >> seth: one of the things we're even hearing the president say is that you would outlaw cows. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: cows farting. that's would be out children, hamburgers, ice cream. any of that true at all? >> no. in fact, i think it is interesting, it's always good to see how these narratives are manipulated, because they're trying to say that the green new deal is about what we have to give up, what we have to cut back on. when, in fact, the green new deal, itself, is a resolution to be more expansive. it is to be able to generate more and to make sure that we're investing in working-class americans so that we all can afford to have more in life. so an affordable apartment isn't
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a dream but a norm and that health care is a right, not a privilege. [ cheers and applause ] and, honestly, the only reason i think anyone would have to cut back on ice cream is if their doctor advised them to. >> seth: yeah. and sometimes doctors will do that. also it should be pointed out, though, there are some democrats who seem a little cautious of how ambitious the green new deal is. how do you talk to your colleagues within your own party to let them know that this is the right path to take? >> yeah. >> seth: and have you met with a lot of interparty resistance? >> yeah, well i think one of the things that's important that doesn't get communicated is that our green new deal legislation is not a bill. it's a resolution. so there's two different kinds of legislation and what a resolution does is that if we pass the resolution in the house, it doesn't go into the senate, and it doesn't go to the president. it is a house resolution.
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it is a declaration. it is an intentional vision document. and what it does is that it puts forward the large scope, the overall vision of what we're trying to accomplish, and to say, listen, if we're going to make progress, we need to declare our north star and our north star is 100% renewable energy. it's medicare for all. it's tuition-free public colleges. it's investing in technology and renewable -- renewable resources and electric vehicles. and -- and as a result, any legislation, any actual bills that do follow from that, are pieces of that. so you can have one bill that just addresses, you know, battery storage like representative takano out in california. you can have bills that just address infrastructure investment. and so all of those are pieces, but the resolution of the green new deal is the vision of what we need to accomplish in the next ten years.
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>> seth: it's really exciting. and i hope people actually look at what it says. [ cheers and applause ] another thing that i think everyone is appreciating about this new generation of people that are in congress is that it strikes me that people show up in congress and then people who've been there longer said to them, hey, this is how it works here. and it seems like a lot of you are now doing us the service of turning to us and going, like, you guys won't believe how it works here. >> yeah. >> seth: and telling us as opposed to just accepting these rules. you posted this photo, which was fascinating to me. explain what's going on here, real quick. >> so i was shocked at this photo. what this photo represents are folks who are experiencing homelessness that have been paid by lobbyists to wait outside of committee rooms so that lobbyists can be the first and oftentimes only seats in a congressional hearing. >> seth: they're basically holding a place in line. >> uh-huh. uh-huh. >> seth: and when you saw that, this has been happening for a very long time.
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and i certainly never heard of it and i appreciate you putting it out on social media, because i think it's a helpful thing for us to know exactly what's going on in this hall of this building that we're all chipping in for. >> and it's not to say that these folks sitting down are doing anything wrong. but, you know, congressional hearings are not a beyonce concert, you know? >> seth: yeah. >> they're two different things. and this is one way in which money and politics has really sunk so steep to the fact that everyday people can't even see their own elected officials because a lobbyist has paid to get in there first. >> seth: i want to point out one more thing on the green new deal before we go because the president said it was, like, a bad report. >> yeah. >> seth: it was a poorly written -- he did not buy the science in it. but it's very unfair to say that about you. you are a winner of science awards. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] the -- i mean, i never, personally never went past like, the paper-mache volcano that my
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dad definitely made, not me. but this was a passion of yours when you were in high school, right? >> yeah, science was my first passion. and i pursued the intel science competition. i studied microbiology and the impacts of antioxidants on model organism known as the c.elegans which is of the nematode family. >> seth: i think that's something you have in common with the president because i think he did that, too. [ laughter ] >> because he's a nematode? >> seth: he's an antitoxin. thank you so much for being here. i really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] such a pleasure. representative alexandria ocasio-cortez. we'll be right back with andrew rannells, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ at jimmy john's, we know how much you care about freshness, quality and value.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a grammy winning and tony nominated actor you know from broadway's "the book of mormon" and hbo's "girls." he currently stars in the showtime series, "back monday." and his new book, "too much is not enough: the memoir of fumbling towards adulthood" is available now. please welcome back to the show our very good friend, andrew rannells, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, andrew. >> thanks for having me. >> seth: this is a delightful book. you track, sort of, from your childhood to your broadway debut. >> yes. >> seth: that's where the book ends, 2005 "hairspray." >> that's right. >> seth: not as -- i guess it was dramatic, but not what you expected. >> it was -- yes. well, i was a replacement in "hairspray." this was -- you know, it's my first broadway show. i was in the chorus of "hairspray." and i was the only new person to join that night.
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so, for everybody else, it was just, like, a tuesday in january. for me, my dreams were coming true. [ light laughter ] so, i was very excited. and we got out on stage and, you know, "hairspray," the first song is called "good morning baltimore." and, like, the whole cast is on stage but we were behind a curtain. and then the curtain is supposed to fly up and then we're all there and we're singing the song. and i am not religious, but, like, took a moment just to be like, "thank you for whoever did this to me. so lovely." but i, like, closed my eyes and was really trying to be present because i watched a lot of oprah then. [ light laughter ] and i then opened my eyes and it was still black. and i thought, i died. [ laughter ] i'm -- or i'm having a stroke at the very least. [ light laughter ] but i really thought that i died. and then this girl, becky, goes right up next to me. she was like," no, the computer crashed, we have to start over." and i was like, "what?" [ laughter ] "that's a thing that happens on broadway? you have to start over?" >> seth: because the computer -- >> yes. >> seth: we got to get the broadway i.t. guy in here? >> yes. [ light laughter ] so, that's what we did. so, we had to start over.
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so, that was my big -- >> seth: that was your big -- and then "jersey boys," of course. >> i did that. >> seth: "book of mormon." >> i did that. >> seth: the first time i was lucky enough to see you on stage. [ applause ] with your successes, do you think you would have handled them differently if they came early for you? >> oh, absolutely. >> seth: are you glad they came when they did? >> yeah. no, i think if i had, like, right out of gate, sort of, gotten what i was after, i'd be in the gutter right now, like -- but i was, you know, 32 when "the book of mormon" opened. and had i been, like, you know, 23, i think i probably would have made some bad choices. >> seth: some terrible mistakes, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: it's lucky sometimes to get those things with the perspective of having some failures -- >> i mean, i still made several mistakes. >> seth: right, yeah. >> but, they just -- more people just weren't aware of it. [ laughter ] i was just another drunk kid on the street. you know, just blend in. that's it. >> seth: you talk about growing up in omaha. >> sure. >> seth: auditioning for "oliver." >> oh, yeah. way to bring that up. [ laughter ] it's very painful, seth. >> seth: yeah, you didn't get it. >> i didn't get it. my first audition was for "oliver."
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>> seth: it stuck with you. >> well, i assumed that i would just, like -- i was like, "how many boys wanted to do musical theater in omaha?" turns out a lot. [ laughter ] so, i just thought there'd be, like, a signup sheet. and it said, "we still have" -- >> seth: and you thought you'd just write, like, "i would like to be oliver." >> "i'll be oliver today." but no, and other people auditioned and i didn't get it. lance polakoff got it. [ laughter ] >> seth: wow, all these years later, the name just rolls right off the tongue for you. >> right? it's just right in there. >> seth: yeah. >> he got it. [ light laughter ] i mean, i'm sure he's a lovely man. we've never -- we didn't keep in touch. >> seth: you never crossed paths with him? oh, he's dead? >> no, i -- [ light laughter ] no, but it is, like, it still does, like, have a little, like -- >> seth: it's great, yeah. >> triggering thing to me, i'm like, "[ bleep ] oliver." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: you -- >> see? it's right there! >> seth: yeah, it's right there. >> it's very visceral. >> seth: you -- you write a note to your mom. >> i do. >> seth: in the beginning. in the, sort of, acknowledgements. >> well, it was pointed out to me that i should have probably done that in the opening. >> seth: yeah. >> i, you know -- >> seth: right. because you wrote it.
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yeah. >> so she still has to read all the sex stuff and then she gets to the end. >> seth: you gave her some advice, read the sex stuff. >> well, i just said if she had any questions about what anything was or what terms were, she should ask my younger sister, natalie. >> seth: gotcha. [ laughter ] was natalie appreciative of this -- >> no, she was like, "you're a dick. [ laughter ] why are you -- why would you do that to me?" but i did put it -- i should have told her upfront. >> seth: yeah. >> i just told her, i was like, "look, if you get to a chapter and there's, like, too many [ bleep ] in it, just skim. [ laughter ] just, like, just skim ahead. you don't need to read all of it." >> seth: you should be like, "i'm going to print you up your own copy where things will different fonts. >> that's what i should -- yes. >> seth: and if you see that font just flip ahead. >> yes, it's just, like, "x"-ed out. >> seth: yeah. >> i should have done that. >> seth: you -- was it -- i can't imagine what it's like going back through your own memories like that. did you find it cathartic to write about? was it harder than you thought? easier than you thought? >> yeah, it was harder than i thought in a lot of ways. i mean, some is fun to, sort of, go back and think about. sometimes you don't really recognize that person. like, at 19, i was like, "who is that guy?" >> seth: yeah. >> what was he up to? so, it was -- with enough
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distance, like, you know, i'm 40 now. so, it was, like, i could think about my teenage years with a little more clarity and a little less judgment. i think i was very judgmental of myself for, like, mistakes i had made. and, the fact of the matter is, like, when you're a teenager, like, you're doing the best you can for the most part. >> seth: yeah. and you came here -- you were very young when you came -- >> 19. >> seth: 19 coming to new york. yeah, i'm very lucky that i -- again, i came here when i was 27. and i think having that extra amount of perspective is helpful. >> it is helpful. >> yeah. i mean, the city is -- it can be very overwhelming. and at 19, it was overwhelming. >> seth: you, obviously, like you said, "book of mormon," you're on "girls." >> yeah. >> seth: "black monday" on showtime. >> "black monday" on showtime. >> seth: which is fantastic. >> it's me and don cheadle. >> seth: don cheadle, right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> there he is. >> seth: have you -- >> there he is. >> seth: have you enjoyed that? >> i loved it. it's a really -- it's fun show. 1980s wall street. very cokey. very greedy. it's a weird, sort of, mash-up of tones, because we are following the lead-up to the 1987 stock market crash. but, like, it's also a very
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broad comedy. >> seth: yeah. >> seth rogen directed our pilot. so, it's, like, it's pretty broad. >> seth: yes. >> and a lot of fake cocaine. >> seth: a lot of fake cocaine, yeah. we talked to don cheadle about the fake cocaine. did you -- have you enjoyed the fake cocaine? >> it's not great. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i wouldn't recommend it. >> seth: yeah. >> it's just, like, snorting vitamin b powder for fun. >> seth: yeah. i look -- yeah, all things being equal -- >> if you're going to do it, just do it. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i mean, we would joke about that. we were like, "if we were actually doing cocaine right now, we would all be dead." [ laughter ] 'cause we were doing so many takes of just, like -- >> seth: well, that's the problem with the fake cocaine. you're like, "this is fine. i can do as much as i want." and then that ultimately will be what kills you. >> probably. >> seth: like, "he od'd on vitamin d." yeah. >> it could happen. >> seth: thanks so much for being here. congrats on -- >> thanks for having me. >> seth: it's always so great to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: andrew rannells, everybody. his memoir "too much is not enough" is available now. we'll be right back with carla lalli music. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ today, molly got dressed for a big night out with her closest friends.
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the phone and network designed to do more. get $250 back on a new galaxy when you switch and save today. say "get a galaxy" to learn more. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." we're here with carla lalli music. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: carla is the food director of bon appetit and the author of the new cookbook "where cooking begins:
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uncomplicated recipes to make you a great cook." welcome, carla. what are we going to make? [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. so, we are going to make today blts with a bacon fat fried egg. >> seth: that sounds fantastic. >> because i just wanted to make it better. >> seth: i do see some alcohol. can we make a drink first? >> absolutely. >> seth: okay, great. >> so, you've probably had an aperol spritz. >> seth: i have had an aperol spritz. >> okay, so, this is like an aperol spritz, expect it's with cynar. >> seth: cynar? is amaro that's made with artichokes. >> seth: oh. >> so, spring is -- >> seth: that is so awesome. [ light laughter ] >> i understand. >> seth: is that -- is that broccoli champagne? >> that's right. [ laughter ] it still gets prosecco. >> seth: okay, prosecco. that's good. >> and a splash of soda. >> seth: splash of soda. >> and then, i don't know how you feel about this, and a green olive. >> seth: yeah, i don't like them, but if you got an artichoke in there. [ laughter ] >> there you go. >> seth: you know, in for a penny in for a pound. there we go. thank you. >> you're going to love it, okay.
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>> seth: it's very good. >> it's not so bad. it's very good. i -- >> it's not like licking an artichoke. >> seth: no, it's not at all. >> good. >> seth: it's great. >> i'm glad. >> seth: it really is great. i like it. >> okay, good. >> seth: oh, wait, no. here comes the artichoke. no, i'm just kidding. [ light laughter ] >> all right. we got to fry some eggs. >> seth: okay, let's do it. >> okay, so, you have next to you -- we both have the same thing. >> seth: okay. >> so, we're both frying eggs. >> seth: yep. >> bacon fat. >> seth: all right, bacon fat. great. >> put a spoonful 'cause you made your bacon for your blt and got the fat. >> seth: okay, great. >> so, it's nice and hot. >> seth: oh, so this is -- okay, gotcha. so, this is the fat from the bacon i already made. >> this is, like, nose to tail bacon fat egg frying. >> seth: great. all right, that's exciting. >> egg. >> seth: okay. >> into the pan. >> seth: all right? >> ready? >> seth: yep. >> oh, i can't get mine open. all right, i got it. >> seth: that was not good. >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. i had a little too much artichoke. [ laughter ] >> i think that looks great. [ applause ] p >> seth: all right, what now? >> okay. so now -- >> seth: two? do two? two eggs? >> do two, just in case. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, i don't know if you have room that second -- you're fine. >> seth: yeah, all right. >> so a little bit of salt. >> seth: okay. great. >> i'll salt you up. i'll salt you. >> seth: hold on one second. one second. there we go. >> perfect. [ laughter ] i love it.
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i love both of these eggs. >> seth: yep, okay. >> all right. so, now we got to make a blt. >> seth: all right, great. >> so, here's some bread. >> seth: all right. >> mayonnaise, of course. >> seth: okay. sure. great. >> here you go. mayonnaise it up. and then we have, you know, the "b," the "l," the "t." >> seth: yeah. but we also have kimchi. >> seth: oh, that's exciting. >> how do you feel about that? >> seth: i love the "k." >> so, that looks good. thank you for mayonnaising me. >> seth: okay. >> and i'm going to lettuce myself. >> seth: okay. >> how do you feel about the lettuce? >> seth: i love lettuce. you can't live without it. >> can't live without it. all right. you know, kimchi is, kind of, like lettuce. >> seth: yeah. >> very spicy. >> seth: now, do you go to "t?" you go "t" next? >> you can do whatever you want. >> seth: oh, look at this. i'm on my own now. [ laughter ] little pickles. >> yep. pepperoncini. >> seth: oh, pepperoncini. that's not pickle. >> yeah. >> seth: why did you say yes? >> a beautiful -- [ light laughter ] >> seth: trying to make me feel good. >> it's a pickled pepper. >> seth: oh, it is a pickled pepper. sorry. >> i didn't mean -- >> seth: i didn't mean to stab you with a fork. >> i feel like you, sort of, deserved it. >> seth: i did, sort of, deserve it. >> all of those things you said about artichokes. >> seth: i know. there you go. >> all right.
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a little avocado. [ applause ] >> oh, they liked it when i said those things about you. >> seth: they like it when i'm -- >> so this is runny. it's not there yet. >> seth: how long does it say? >> we need a minute. usually two and something minutes. >> seth: great, they look beautiful. >> here. this is a trick i'm going to show you. >> seth: okay. >> so, we take a spoon. >> seth: uh-huh. >> you have that. tilt your pan. >> seth: yep. >> and then just get a little bit of the bacon fat. >> seth: oh. >> you know how the top part where the egg white doesn't quite set? >> seth: yep. that's great. i love this little plan. >> and swim that over. >> seth: nice trick. >> right? >> seth: uh-huh. >> that way you don't have to flip it because if you flip it, you'll definitely break your yolk. >> seth: yep, we don't want that. nobody wants that. >> don't want a broken yolk. i mean, i have two eggs that are stuck together but that's my own problem. >> seth: that's right. [ light laughter ] >> you know. >> seth: that's very clear based on where we're standing and the eggs in front of us, that that is your work. [ laughter ] i don't know what to tell you. >> i feel like i got the egg -- >> seth: we got to do a little clever editing and no one's going to ever to know. [ light laughter ] >> i got the egg i deserved, you know? >> seth: all right. >> and it got me. all right. i feel good about my egg. >> seth: you do? >> yeah. >> seth: okay. good. then i feel good about my egg. >> i mean, sort of, but, yeah. >> seth: i've known them from the very beginning. [ light laughter ] >> are yours stuck together? >> seth: yeah, they are stuck together. oh, look at that.
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okay. >> okay. cool. all right. spatula. >> seth: spach. >> it's going right on top. >> seth: of course it is. >> yeah. >> seth: great. >> it's a blt landing pad. >> seth: okay. woo, woo, woo! >> okay, just like that. >> seth: this is so good looking. >> right? >> seth: all right. are you going to put two -- oh. [ laughter ] you made too much noise! [ laughter ] i told you to be quiet when i'm doing my eggs! [ light laughter ] >> i think it looks good. we're just -- a little architecture, you know. >> seth: yeah, that's fine. >> sandwich architecture. >> seth: i mean, it's all going the same place. >> that's right. [ light laughter ] put the tomato on top. okay, and then i do feel strongly about mayonnaise on the top. >> seth: oh, interesting. >> right? >> seth: okay, sure. >> not for you? >> seth: no, whatever. >> you want hot sauce? >> seth: i do want hot sauce. >> okay. >> seth: gotcha. >> i'm going to take the mayo. >> seth: okay. >> awesome possum. >> seth: okay. >> cool. >> seth: oh. >> right. >> seth: all right. >> no mayonnaise on top. >> seth: okay. yeah, let it go. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> uh-huh. >> seth: all right, are we ready? >> i guess. >> seth: okay. oh. cheers. this is wonderful.
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>> cheers. >> seth: okay. >> thank you. uh-huh. >> seth: all right. this doesn't look messy at all. >> delicious. >> seth: should i take a bite? >> yeah, you can. >> seth: all right. everybody, camera three. here we go. >> camera three. >> seth: take a bite. >> oh. >> seth: mmm. >> uh-huh. [ cheers and applause ] yep. >> seth: carla lalli music, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] check out carla's new cookbook "where cooking begins: uncomplicated recipes to make you a great cook." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ while shopping at sears you need to place yourself in the moment. you need confidence in the appliances you select to build the home and life you love. our products and services bring moments like this to every family. shop top-brand appliances including kenmore at sears . [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: every wednesday and friday we release a podcast edition of "late night" so you can catch up on the go. it's audio from the show and includes "a closer look," comedy bits, and guest interviews, plus extra things exclusive for the podcast like bonus backstage interviews, chats with the "late night" staff, original comedy sketches, and more. head to to subscribe, and it's free, which is great. for comfort food at a comfortable price, try my sourdough patty melt combo with fries and a drink for just $4.99. it's the perfect remedy for the uncomfortable things in life... like flying, the dentis t ...and guys named ronald . i have my reasons. try my $4.99 sourdough patty melt combo today.
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my $4.99 sourdough patty melt combo comes with 100% beef grilled onions and two types of melty cheese on toasted sourdough plus fries and a drink. it's comfort food for the uncomfortable things i n life. yep, this guy knows what i'm talking about. try my $4.99 sourdough patty melt combo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: my thanks to representative alexandria ocasio-cortez. [ cheers and applause ] andrew rannells. carli lalli music. fred armisen. thanks for a week, buddy. 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly."
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we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: what's up, everybody?


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