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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 29, 2016 11:37pm-12:37am MST

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>> jimmy: >> jimmy: oh, i love that. thankto tyler pry, ilana glazerabbi jacobn, wagner moura, iliza shlesinger, right there, evebody. phenomenal. >> thank. >>immy: and the roots, rig ther from philadelphia, pennsyania, ladies a gentle [ cheers andpplause ] stay tuned for "late nig with th meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weend. i hope te you next week. e-bye, everybody.[ cheers and applause [ rs andlae ] >> announcerfrom 30 rockellerlazan new york, it's "la nig wh seth meyers." tonit danny devi, comedian whitn cums, musifr t fro botms,
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josh fese. rsppus] laesentl se mey >> setooeving. i'seer is is "late body doingig [ cheersnd alause woful to hr. let's get to t news. jeb bu misspoke dung a mpaign event yesterday and stakenly called president obama's daughter malala instead of malia light lahter ] sasha's name, itamou "i dot wao rufor president anymore. [ lauger ] it's harthan i thought it uld be and don't like it senator lindsey grah said this week that donald tmp ie most unelectable republican 's seen in his lifetime. en he walked ba rror and said, "whoops, neverind! uger ]i forgot aboutt fellowed me." formerlaska govern
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republan frontrunn donald trump. les ta a look. shs clearly enng herself, but lo at trump. he is not having a good time. [ laughter ] th's aace yomake when your mom telling yougirlfriend w you usedo wet the bed. [ ug ] a rent study found that people who usaoe-mail givthe mo moy to polital campaigns cause, you kw,ou can't ke it wi you. [ ughter and applause ] might as wel according according to a neweport, b 2050, the wos oceans will contain relast tsh fi. so theext time youumped,remember, erenty of ash inheea. [ light laughter ] [ yelling ] [ laughter ] we usuly weon't le an audience mber to a heart attack thieay in the show. [ laughter ] a florida man has be aested for steali $500 dog from a
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crac [ ght laughter ] on the plus side, we finally have the answer to the question, "how mucis that doggien the window?" [ ughter little bummed out. fastood chain whitcast announced iseek they will be offering dinr rvns foralentine's y. 's the perfe wayo te pers you le that you don't. [ lahter that's right, ite cale f valentine's day, because there's mathemat mathemicians have diovered a new 22 million digit prime number. though after trying it a few times, mathematicians are beginninto spect that the woman gave them ke number. [ light ughter ] so surpr our num joke didn'kill [ laughter ] such a juicy comedemise. you know, wh you're a comedy writer a writer and you're reading the ne, you' le,oha new prime mber? jokes gonna come." [ ghlahter ]and firefighters in italy recentlyeld woman break
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at'se. it's alws soeawarminwh you he thosetoriesbout firefighters rescuing a kitty. [ en oohs ] oh, wh? it's fine. 're algog to bok. you gu. [ eers and applause ] we havgreat ow for you tonight. he is one theunniest people arth. he's onethe stars of the 11theason of "it's alway sunny in philadelphia" on fxx. danny devi is withs tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how abouthat? legend. also, she's a fanttic comedi. e s a new dy speci "i your girlfriend" on hbo. our iend, whitney cummingss back on "late night"onight.[ eers and alause ] and we will have music from a grt new jersey band, the fnt bottoms. and this is very cl. chrs and applause ] ey u they used a fan-vod itter po to log more than ,0 votes in 24 hours fothe song ey'll ay later in tonit's show. so i'm loo forward to that. wee gonna have a greathow r u guys tight.
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evening. [ cheers and alae ] now, i know it's wednesday. i knowhis happened a few days o, but i'm finally in place where i can lk about it. thnfl playofreoi on right now. i'm urghels fan. they lost laeeked it was a bummer. atbummer for me. and i watcd alo in my apartment with my wife, and she could careess about footba and sports in genera and s was veweet, ough, she stted watchi t gamon the uch withe support. buth she got bored and stard watching a documentary on her ipad on the cch. and it was the documtary "amy," wch is a wonderful film but it's a very it's a tragic sty about amy winehouse. and it's really mean to watch a sad domenty when thether peon ithe room is watching aball game, becauset completely takes away my ability get upset about what's happeng on my thing. [ light lauger ]
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and i'screamin "no, no!" anshe's like, hat happened?" and i said, e fumbled." and then she asks, "but everody's okay, right? [ laughter ] likeobody died i said, "no, everybody's fine." she's like, "okay, i'm going to back to my super tragic real life thing." [ laughter ] sohen her brother cos over and the twofhem arin the kitchen, and thereaving a lovely time becausneither of them care about what's going on. sohey're hapecause their happinesis tieto a human intection that they have control ov, whers i've tied my happiness to events that are completely beyond my control and i'm irrationally passionate abou , game ends,teels se, i turn o the tv, and the immediately walk into e kitchen intoir conversatioto go get a ofater.and st walin a alexi's brotr, my other-inaw, toa, who's lovy, sd,did win, buddy? stead of saying, "no," do this. i turn and i sna " i ag ke they won? [ laer
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[ laughter ] what kind social es are taking from me [ apause d this is the kind of thing mywife ander family have to put up with me all the time. i'm such an as[ bleep ] that a bathinppen to me then i immedly walked into the tchen to become a victim. and i'm ke, "it s bad ough they lost, buthen you asking me. you now have rnemy evening." then i went ithe otheroom and m tting er ay wife and i arexpecting our first child,hich is very exciting, d -- thank yo [ cheers and applause ] and started inking, you know i going to do ts to kid? am i gngo makehem care about spor the way mdad made car me care about sports? is this going toa inthat i put in tir life, a they'll have to alysnothat on any veweheupset or sed on somhing complely impractical? [ ght laughter ]
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started thinking, "oh, i should bua steelers oe. so that thrst y the ba ll be in [ lahter ] also the other tng i do, which is the worst -- becae i think kef ball'm mplete hypri, which is e minuteteam gets elin, i start saying, ou know, concussions ara se ise. and the ownersn sports are ionaesho use public money to build their sdiums, i don't know how anybody n foll it. enjoy evybody whose teams ar still int." [ lit laughter ] so anyway, thank you to my wife and thanyou to family for putting upith me. i'm an i and i'm looking forward tohe selers nning thsuper bo nexye. [ light hter ] w, we heret atnight" have a team of loyal rearchers, statisticians and pollster all of wworked very hard to bring you a ttleegment we likeo ll "this wk mber" [ eersnd alae ] >> sh: >> seth: let's get sed.
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the iowacu also 12, the number of ds left until jebush wal into an iowaornfld disappears. [ lahter ]zero, th zero, the number of blac minees at this year's oscars. also zero, the number blart nominees at thisear's os. [ ughter it's a snub. [ laughter ] it's a blart snub. 10 million, the number of paid subscribers app mic. 9 miion,heumber of them who said, "wt, i'm subscribed to what now?" ghlaughter ] , thnumber of asolic signs. theceare rt si thtoday's dahich falls unr the sign of capricorn, which is an resting gn causwhile pricnsre strong and loy friendstheir independence oft mes them olanoof. 100,he percentou don't wt to bin this convsati aa rty. [ cheers andpplause t six,he number of abs t
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[ light laughter ] 600,0, the number of tim he rd them as "se team 6." [ ughter and applaus] my stomach killed bin lade 5 million, the number of pple whose jobs could be taken over by robots in the next five years, according to a new report. two, the numr of peoplwho may have been bots all along. [ laughter andpplause ] 62, the nu 62, the nu of ultra rich inviduwho heame amouf wealth ae bottom ha othe globalopulatio re thebewe should all ru theon.[ ughter ] three, ain we othree or do we go "on two, ree, go" and go on go? theumbeof tim'v d toxphis. co on,uys, if u don't take ureads o oyo asses we're nevea get our mone ba. [ laught and applause ] 9, the nber stores wal-rt sayth wl ose tw theber of cheout lanes wal-ma says ey will
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thneengood. [ ght laughter ] ree --h just sometimes oh, no, i'm behind. the number of mohs left until the seon premier of "game of thros." [ cheers and applause ] three, the number of month george r. r. martin has left to release his next bk. [ audienceohs ] one, the numbeof advance pies of george r. r. mars new book that i have rhter thatf i'm ing hone, seems lile rushed. chapter and then the drago blew and the people died, and the big r haened.anjaimlaister d mething and did h s then onef thay d hadlear which. and then it was winter, and en wast,nd theew kinwas crne it's the dwarf. thend. [ laughter ] that wasth week in numrs."
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at yr lol merces-benaler. cheersnd appla >> sh: welcome bk, everybody. pl give for . ch appe ] soood toee y guy also we've been so luckyhi week. he's back with us again tonight, one of theost respected drumme in the ness, josh freese h chee and appuse ]sh has worked th everyone om milelcys to 9 inch nails and s been a member of
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with rome and the reacements. thank u so mucfor being here josh. very happy to have you. >> thank you. [ cheend applaus] >> seth: our first guest tonight is a beloved aor, rector a producer who thrghout s career h earned an emmand golden globe as well as an academy award nomination. you can currtly see him starri as franreynol in the medy series "its always sunny in philalphia," whh ai wednesday nhts on fxx. let's takeoo >> the fntaiis ours,rank. laught >> uh, not exactly. tu the whole snow pallet thg s off the ow. i needed to distract local environmentalist group while i fracked the mountain. what? you frackethe untain >> yeah, theanquetthe ra it was allet up. was just a diveion, it was a distraction because i waed toet io this hill and suck out its naral resource >> so all th herwas just one big set-up?
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i hid the hookers so you could rip their tops off. >> that makes sense. >> sh:lease welcome the on th, nnde! [ cheers and applause ] , set eth: so ppy toe u he>> oh, is e be here >>eth: frankeynolds -- i feel like that clip does good b shong u frynols. isa guy ors misueroo he'ee -- 's misunderood. seth: hs misustd. >> no, he'a d gu no, 's gd y. no, he's misdetood. he just wants everything. >> seth: hwants everhing. he's very greedy.>> yeah, he's greedy. >> seth: it's amazing -- we were talkg backste,1 seasons of is snow. th's fantast shu. [ cheers and applause ] hank weave nderl fans. 's ry, seriously like what makes the showo, ande do it em. h:t's great.
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>> sh: yave a fantastic cast. and we e sickndivua. s, that's right. >>eth: youre vlucky beuse, to work with one great st on tevision would be enough for most actors. u, of course, we in one of e greacas of all time in i. set ftastichow. rs and app] a sh i love. and now this -- u gu we on on fove years. u stteon abc and y moved does a hit shomo? likehahappened well atapd s e showasoi rlly we we started o behind a show call "three'compan" >> sh: sure. >> so we had these amazing rating th was when there were only three networ. and itas just, like, unlievable. crawi, wi recognition in one night. ondayou wereike -- y're walking aroun the reet, thne day you cldt go anywhe bse5% o dience w winthe . seth:up bowl mbers.
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>>mazing nbe ay, now,our ar by and the change -- three and a half years go by andheres a change at c, and they kind of start losing interest in our show. not the audience, the network. bah! i an, they're snesyou know what i mean? laughter ] so they move around, which is like one ofhose things whthe dience forgets what -- you're on esdanight, y're a wednesday and then thuy, blah,la blah. anaythanceled aft foeaich was terrle, but is great g brandotartikoff,t nbc, he took us to thfth ye whicwas imant r everyby. >> seth: right. >>au that fiseas y ed. thour -- yav114 sh we used too 22 a y that'shy we ha, 2225 -- mas t mytronsu lighlauger ]
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a year. so we are catching up -- we have passe"tax now in the of shows. >>eth: do you still ecfor axi" >> oh, yea >> sh: that's fantasti >> oh, yea >> seth:hat isantast. >> thank you guys. [ laught ] >> seth: i rememr -- i remember as a kid noquite being awe thatou "snl" whicofourse an nbc show aer show had d to nbc. >> yeah, that was the year we got cancel. >> seth: rht. >> everybody won emmys that year. the showon an my. all won little statuettes, you kn, and weotce so lorichaels, hputs us he ss, "u nna i said"i gon -can come on a do the --?" "bring on the st." soe brout everodonhe sh. it was azing. we h gat time. well came out.t the firsrds idthk, wereo th canceled 'taxi.'" i might have said bc canceled axi.'" [ light laught ]
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[ laughter ] and you guys -- you're s close a cast? >> oh, yeah. we s eacotr althtime. >> seth: that's real woerful. >> oh, we're gat. all the peopleho are still alive see oth. >> seth:hat's ni. >> we k abt e other people. sh: there is a veryams story abt w u auditied for "taxi." i wouldn't say to ung actors to do this nessarily - >> the tng abo tt i al ft like youeed ken essionso wi tdo the ow -- to auditiolly wa t part t i nted t make an preson, so walked to their office, i had a script in my hand. i ne s i threwon e coffee tabnd id, "oneng wto knobefore rtwhwrot blee]?" [ lauger ] [ apau ]yogotta -- youw, you gotta >> seth: yea rember you.>> you know, they remember you. from tt moment on like,t was a louie thin itas good louie characte >> s lieepalma who believe "tv e's"amed the character of all time
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>> it waa good chacter >> seth: d you eve s-audition making le remeer youd yoever try e at backfed? oh, yeaoh yea-- you know, this was my ing from t vy bennin ifouotice, if yore a acto and you want to go in -- i usuay look and i'm lot diffent thanost the op who've auditied for the part. knowhey walk in d they usuallgo he'sngo autionorhis? yeah, therwas a director that i really liked who was a very surreadirector. his name is richard foren. eth:kay. he diphansts" and al surre plays, and he was realood.real likedim. w doi a big sho puic tater a i was going to audion. this w way before "taxi."nody -- u kn, i wajust an actor goir dition and id tthe castdict, "lefore i go in,know this gus work. he'seally --
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>> seth: okay. >> and sheas reallsweet and she goes, "a right, danny. [ light uger ] d she open the door, i laid wn on thndand i the aition. [ hter and alause i rl to audio thguy thguy is, li, y, he. i rolln right there and i art onolue. [ hter and i do the mue thai ned. anit's done. and i thout i was okinat abraham lincoln. he wasoing -- ston nothi. he didot mov eth: that dn'tgood? it get e part >>et no, i'm so soy. [ lahter ] >> i did notet the part. in fac i never, ever heard fr the guy since seth: wow. heevereed a guwho could roll? >> b ihink aer i dth show, i'm going to hr from him. >>et thi thawould be ni. waou guy ronct
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i'd likeo. >>et you went and w "hamn. i've sn "hamilton" o broadway. >>h, b et an incredible show. >> aoluty ntastic. >> sh:s good as everody says it is, ittill blo y awayhen it. >> iknocks you out. itust amazg, smart, nny. everything about ijust -everything clis. i acallyas fortuna enough to gbeforehey ed. i nt ta eview on badway. i didt ha to t alped li you likyo gonna ve to t er ] seth: y so ny beautifuthinuthe s aneverhingd true. >> i led it. seth: but there -- bastage you c g ste d say hi to the castafterwards i d seth:he's aip pter and they a peopltoig. antherwas st an articl new yorkagazine about what so of the celeities ve writwhat didou -you obviously thghthis plas beautifu and intellent -- >> i thought iwas really terrific and vy wuny eat. d -- >> seth: here's the poster --
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to sign it. >> seth: so wherdid you sign ? >> on his ball [ laughter ] >> seth: oy, so went right -- you went rht dowthe, that's y. >> yeah. sh: a i might not be able read it, hat do it sa >> what's it say? >> seth: do you foet what u ot >> no,f se , th, at bitcs"? >>et no.>> no. seth: no. hat'd i write?>> s youid not write anythi thanice.>>hat did e? >>eth: wte "[ bleep ] tches." "[ bleep ] bitches." [ laer ] in i wanted - >> seth:hy tt u e a >> set who do you use that term of endearment with?>>he ] bitches n. [ ht cheers and applause ] eth: aer ething alexandeltor u u ve tnd wri "[ bleep ] bitches" on h s. [ lahter >> bitchesorked hardorit.
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ng anyosouc >> t y. >> s conatulatio on th owcheersnd appus nderful.dadeto, yby. chk ou"it'al sunn iledph" weesday ghts onxx. whney mmin [ chee and appe ]
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ever er look at a squirrel and think, "yea i could use that kind ofener? pretty sure th's howuts wediscoved. larabar. food de from food. iss nry's rd gierle it a refshg d easy-to-in adult be-perct wh you're ady too buck mild. henrha hard.-ish. my meratto severe chronic aq psoriisma aimpltr the grocery store anything b simple. so finally, had animportant conversaon with my deatologist about humira. he elained that humira works inside my dy to target anhelplock spific se of inflammation ttcontributes to my symptoms. in cnicatrialsmost adults saw 75% sk clearance. d thjority we clear or almo cle iju 4 mths.
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[ cheers and applae ] eth: welmeack to "late niy. r ne gst is a ry f actress meanho s he nbs sitcom "whitney" an co-creed the hit show bke gis." her new hour-long standup special, "whitney mmings: i'm your girlfend," premieres saturday night on hbo. ease welco back to the show, ouiewhwhnecummings. [ chrs appe >> sh: >> seth: h areou? >> you tbrg my
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>> how dare -- iust fod ou it was cand just now. o my goness wellthanled "ti" it moved to nbc. so mbe -- >> well, he's still tting redual ccks, i hear. >> seth: yeah.>>'m n. seth: you do not t you never t any. >> n i pay tm year >> set ore? thissou viou-- you fiedhis special while ag you edited it. it's fal ready >> yh. >>et areou excedor ople to see itope. >> seth:oue no >> no. here's t thing, becae wh you finally put something out, you put yo blood, swt and tears,hen have tt opleeeack. >> seth: oh,ht. >>nd i feekehere thig ere, for whatever reas- maybe it's just in cody -- that y always get like, backhanded compliments. ke, haver ppened to you? dotandupnderrm, you me off ste and someons "heygo you abrav" [ u're lik " doeth even meayou kn or yke, coff sge d u ink di and so, "w crowd." [ lit laught ] li"i thoughtt wafine. what dyou me it always ke, eall lo lyoavg fuup there." walkff staget lleg show, and i walkednd
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[ laught ] liit's been hard winter and e a lot to ugh about. what es that haveo nythg? seth: i d't kno i'vehought a it --'v ly been king abo it for n s since. [ light uger >> i had one treal threw ne time. i came upstas thuy go, reat job, de." [ lighughter ] i likesothing about my codyt makes meeem ke i't a woman anore? seth: there go, great job dude. great job, de seth:ude, youilled . hat? >> seth: ilso nt tk out --alking abo weird interaions. live in los angeles. >> yeah, io. >> setou're an east coaste yes. >> seth: h iit going how'th?>>t' i don't know, ople il.a.ll annao talk abt l.a. ke, people ihollywd. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, you go to parti and it's like one giant like, on. likepeopleree, "at a yoworking ?" ju, n't want to do that. cause en i'm lik "i'm working on ts. and 're "oh, what se e workinon?" 's like,okay, at's it. kenothing ever eugh foem you know? >> seth: rht. and y know, i le,oh, i just did a special." they'rli, "oh,ut ware you up t m like, "i just di special." you ow, so, i refu tdo i
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what's goingn, peogo, "what are u upo?" i'm like, "i'm just really working on m seth: owow. light ug ] reay trying to nd balance. d ey -- it drives them nuts. >>et thaisot an sw op wan >> bausehecan't - they cat do bines y know. >>et no. >> so i just, i st bck tm fromt. >>eth:t'a very, ve good blo. well done. >> yeah, thank you. >> set there is a loof hmoong in l. i c't dit. >> seth:ou'rnot od schmoozer? >> no i can'do it. i can't smltalk. i dodomalltalkgotta go straightohe lk people a le, "how are you? i'm ke, l, the lexapro is reallyicking i [ light laughter ] turns out wellbu, not such a goodatch fore.m pret sure thbuas juown irsoe' [ lit laughter ] >>et perfect. we -- know we've had -- i'm jealof you becauseshar oka >> seth: neal brennan. >> so, we have a best friend, neal brennan. listo s freaodcast >> yes, hemps. >>as itngo okay, so we love neal. i'm st coast besfrnd. >> seth: yh. >> youe his eastoast best frnd >> sh: but he livehe we coast now'm jealous. yeah, so 's my st friend. >>eth: yeah. rely see hmo n s y full-ti. hos w are yoguys, w's your
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okay, so neais a friend of ours, who we have both deced that we're going to be in comedy but also like, try to ge healy, like, getetter. like, we're going to therapy >> seth: great. >> we we on like arip to val d dicolor er >>eth:h gdnes >>nde, hngm ga doing pes d all th sff. but i'm worried that comedia can't be funny and messed . like, thhealthier i get mentally, e le funni i am. >> set y're leavinyour funny on the yogropes? >> le, look,'m bombi no one's laughin >> seth: yeah. [ lahter ] so it's, my theory -- my theorys obouy true, becae the more healthy you get, the more deerate you get to make people laugh. you ys aren't laughing at me and i don't care. at's aem >> seth: that is. [ light ughter ] this is going to ruin my entire comedy career. >> seth: y have other frnd that i want to talk to you about. ich is, you have a new dog. >> i have a new dog. eth: and your dog is -did yoknow you were gettina dog this siz at happened? >> oy, iinagm th this g has a dog was thrown out of a car. >> skay. >> andt was inn. i was li, i'll just goett and i'll fd a home. anthen fell inove wi him. thought as sixon bu. i take him to tht eysay he's a two-month great dane
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[ audience aws ] >> seth: that is massi >> i've gothis dkey growing my house. [ lit lauger d lls arenormous. >> seth:h,can see his balls. those are like -- lighlaughter and i will -- for the pho, i feel le heas like, let me just scoot over re, because i want you to get the fu balls. >> they ag on the ound. h: yea iean, they me owith li dt, i had to -- one time, whenever -- is -- we did noprare for this, bu whenever hhas area, have rap them in saran wrap. [ lit ught ] sh: h balls? >> becau his poo his bas. >> seth:h my god. that happens enoh that you a way of gng about it? ghlahter changeist. >> seth: gotch theay, both of those ght be wng. [ ght laughter ] i want cpare dogs. how much does your weigh right now?>> me is abo 110 pounds.
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no balls- no bls on my little girl and she has w tie.>> oh a sie stilhas s balls, so -- >>eth: no,o. veo intest in at. i have no inrest in threproding. >>hat's hename? riee! >> sh. >> howet is that? has rohtou andou toge? seth: yh, very mucho. h, that'so cool. eteah, it's od. think frbee's , like kind of mediates. alws, and i find th tend to fight withfrs rougmy ds and i'li, "well, he ly w t for a walk, but i guess if you just wanto ben your pho the whole time --" kealys use the dog as pawn. seth: yeah, we' had a l "o tog wts to go ale [ light laught ] really how hathe de ts clr >> yeah. i justeekerisbee really was you stop working t weekends. but i don't know, whatever. set wt? no sg ofeproioyo >> gat say >> seth: thankou. [ lauger ] no, you' gna love this segue way. >> that is a pro. >> seth:hais a pro. thais 100% the pro thing i' ever seen. >> seth: rea ing eh ot]
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don't even -- they're li, well, wh areou gng to ask? >> you don't even kn howood thisegue ways. >> sh: l's s how goo speaking of reproductionyo just froze your eggs. >> yes, did. [ laughter and applause ] ata pro! i did. i just frozegs, ich i love lkinge action of pehei say that >> seth: sur >> bause the guys immediately think i'm mad at them or they d something onin gener h, do u know, el like guys d't kw what - y knowhaegg frzing is? >> seth: iea iwhyou i but youon'tnow the procs. seth: rigit's like do it ohot days, you do it to brg your by tempate do. >>old nt yea[ lit laughter ] >> s sth is just >>ou dito th like, i don't nthaveids right no which ameanno wantto have kidsith me rightw, either. it's cseual. both of us have agremend all the n in the wor so, i' juspostponed it, just sohai haveim 'cause h't met -there's too ch presse. as a woman, there's much esre on you. i feelike i've been dati the ong gu. i likm inraff a i'm li, you ys, let'move, i'roinfr theide. liughter , m stony and thenver sie i've frozen my eggs,t's like i'm chilling, m cool.
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>> my agent call me,here li, whe's thcript? i'm like, "i d know, i am sohigh rhtow." light laug ] caar silrman thandle it. i'm not avaible. lii'm chlin. it's great. but do find th guys haveo id wt i sh: yes. i wasng aig.i haanitecause i w on rt from eggreezing, and i camen the next d and he's like, "are okay? i heard u had your ovaries >> seth: oh no. [ t lauger ] >> i w like, no, we tta talk abouthis. it omy speal >> sh: g it. >> seth: and are guys excited whenhey ar it? no,o, guys think it's ird. i thought, tt it'd be ally cool, like an odisiac. that guywould thinat'm li the cl girlhat doesn't want tget prnant right. t th're not into i and he's l "y,o yo ve a cdom?" i'm ke, "d't worryo. my stuff is ice down the airport." [ light laughter ] it's not a sexy droom -- >> seth:ou are -- you date a fair amount, y? >> i do. >> seth: how is that going? >> it's going okay. i've notice though, that t
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ke "th thereas tha book cd "the gam? >>eth: yea>> a there's thepick uarst >> seth: "thpick up artist." yes,, are meanow. i feel like there's this resial effec likeery ti i go ou gs weir 'use gu think theye to ban t yike th.>> set y ias a bar and thi guy's like, "you're g jeans,ou're wearg jes to a ba" i was like, what ith, a "yo mamacoest? it's so mean. and what i, u guys, here's the prm with bng mean toirls toe yolike tm, is th you gu wl never amean to us e alreare to els. liketh not yan say about me that haven't aly thought of. >> seth: rig?light lahter ike,his guy came up he like, "you'reo pa." i was like, i'll do u one better. ao look o than i am, i halute on myutt and i'm nndie one, yo ma [ ughternd appuse ] you don'wanndo this.>> sh:eah. >>'mng to win this. >> seth:oure the winner. ea neal mig bmeanmehan i am to him. our friend nl. clos >> love yo seth. time. can't wait to see yo specia whitney cummingseverybod check t, "whitney cummings i'm yo glfrid" thi saturday night on hbo. we'll be back with more
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we b we brought you here today get youhone opion about this new car. to keep things unbiased, we removed a the logos. feels like amw reminds me a little bit of like audi. sothis car supports app carplay. si, open map shgetse. wow. itlso has teen driverhnoly. itven mutethe radio until the seatelts are buckled. i'm very curious what is. th is the 2016hevy mib and it sells for? it starts at twenty-twfive. what? oh w. mean witall thisechnolog that's a game changer. indulgence. longemes at a price. well, actually it does... but it's jt $9.9 nehosh whiskchicken applebee's grill & bar favorites made a little tt for you. featuring new dishes ad with flavor, and l under 650 caries. althe hardor.. timee rvice. mmity coege...
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w w at universitof phoenix, count your relevant work ancollege experien as cdits toward your learmore at phoex.u. , sunday funda sund funy never gets old, which is why ey live hard
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-ish. with henryard soda, an adult beverage th helps them go buck mild. henry's hard soda. live hard- ish. he heren the city, parking is hard to find. seemlike everyone drives. and those who do shodswitcho geico because you could save hundreds on car insurance. ah, rft. valet pain llo! here's the keys. and, uh, go easy on my ride, mate. , wouldn mind somef that beef wngton... see how much you could save on cainsurance,
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[ rsndppuse ] >>eth: welme back to "late night," everybody. as i mentioned earlier toght, my wife and i have
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d as i take stock of my life, i realize that i am now officily a fullyatured adult. i'married, have do i have a car, a mortgage, wee expecting. buyou ow othis doesn't an that i don'know how to be cool. light lahterst becse i wear a suit ery daand t behind aesk don't ani cat bece cd, baby for me, being s le abo being upn thlatestip trends. no way, se. being cool ioukinghe nrf downn my buick enclav bsting steely dan's eatestity pyer i seown thcoast loing foa hse an il wl a cheeseburger in radise. i got six differt credit cards d one ofhem is a visa signature rrt rewards
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i'ken. [ light laught ] speakitan, when i take myift inner a ce steak wn at ruth chr, i put on my tight blk t-shirt, pinstrid suit, stressed jeans, no socks and tassel loers.oh, and another thing, when i open t rtaurdoor for m wife, i touch thsmall of her back ashe walks paste. yore welcome, bae. [ laughter i ve nothing more than hanging with my remax t brian on my weather proof backeck ase throck aew tates. [ lauger i've spe hed hou o my life lkg to best buy emoys about how ca opmize the speaker systein man cave. i don't fly ony, b. i y ecomy plus. ohye, i li to part you ow what i an? go out to my garage, smoke quarter of a joint, fa aslp watcng "rdball."
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[ lit ughter ] i want to get tan,ike super tan, tthe poinwhle lo ame aay"that guy looks grosand s hairooks ke." thats my goal. thats myream i lo vegasbut not much love orlan.ght [ ght laughter ]when it cometoni, got ay is leathe white leather. top thall-time babeshe you go -- e, renrusso,euce, ld haw three, cori. lauger ] hey, while we got th over e should graphic going how about we shoa video of "sandal ci oh, nice w sh the parth the swba ooh, that okke a great me i'going to boothat vacay
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ok. , i alst fgot. my biggest tn on, th missionary position. or as i call i the mish posi [ laughter ] cture it.l ihink i proved i'm a cool g. we'll be rig back withus fr the fnt bms. [ cheers and applause ] this i this is a cell tow from one of those major carriers. straig talk wireless uses the same cell towers they do. buwe don't build or maintain them. so we can offer you the same great tionwideoverage for ha the cost! t here... .and he... d re well, not here. that wld be ird. thworld needs straight talk. best pnes. best networks. ha the cost. gea msg laxy s6 or bring youowph lited te and dat ist $45 a mo
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this is hes harang it's delicious fres and easyo drinrd soda. not too - u've got s to dorow. henry's ard...-ish. when laqnta.m s craig wilson aeadyor you alert the second his room is ready, yanow what he becomes? great propal! let's talk more over golf. great. hoabt erens? even better. game changer! the ready for u alert, only at our house, we're always down for more... se in poin our handcrafted skydiving chamber. refueling! be hungry for more.
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ic woma i' never rememr althe projects, presentation oreetii gave up my nights for. (music's drums intensify) budays like this i'll never for get ther in t 2016 ford esc unstoppable. this is mght so tck my life song ) is yr head so ngeste it's ready to exple? you may be mdlin through alrgies. try zyrt -d to powerfully clr yourlocked nose anrelieve your other lergy symptoms. so, yocan breathe easier all day. zyrtec -d at the pharmacy counter. mm... apple e th oy fruits nutsand spices. th m the rt of my life el very complicated.
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ee applaus]>>h:ig mic gue are ck a rolband from nersey who are ming thr network television deb. [ cheers ] performing theirong "wesvirgin", which was ndicked by theirans fo is perrmce, pleaelco thehofrt ttom
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i s itni wherar the onlyhi i could thinto a uthingever ht bad as the n th you sd ba ut't e trman ose are just fts the farther you go fr whereou startthe harder it get bk lovoflife gone forever love of myife gone for goo >> this is for all my friends in
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the hed f come the good stuff e go s seems sod to hold hope it s slowyour toat so tte ng rig i'm just aolcano nk ofruptio ig i'sycho ll bent se-destrtion hl bent on selfesuction he bt onself-dti helnt on self-dtruction love of my life ne forever love omy life
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i iisi maysh i mht onday liveifelike pn ad r n'm st aolno on the brink ofruption rightow m stsyo b -dtruction hell bent on self-destruction hell benonselftr hnt on se-destron re orbrothe fe dat days coldesnits r die others forife rkest yscoldt ghts here aint no doctor on rth there ain't no lord up above who knows
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ik like i sa i thou wafocused tught i h iged out w oiz my wdsood before they fall rit t myouth buhave learn at the direc i wng w swron ani ju need a little lpere ma o find the path i ld be on love my life gone forever love of my life f gd love ofy life gone forer t r ck good yokn i sh i could [ rs and applae ] h: the frbottomryone!
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