Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  February 17, 2016 11:37pm-12:37am MST

11:37 pm
[ cheers and applause ]>> jimmy >> jimmy: my tnks to jennifer lopez, jay leno, khlokardasanza once again, lads d gemen! [ scams anause ] thank u, bud. and the roots right there from philadelphia, nnsylvania. [ cheers and alause snoop! sn i'lsee you next time! stun for "late nhth seeys. thank you for watcng. a greatight i pe to seyomorrow. byby everybody. [ chrs and alaus] ,, annou >> announcer: from 30 rockefell plaza in new york, it's "late nig wit seth meyers." tonight -- will f.
11:38 pm
fromtin lynch, featuringhe 8g band with fred misen. dies a genemen, [ cheers and applae ] >>eth:ood ening,'m seth meyers,his is "late gh"hos evody dotonight? ch and appus] that's fantast, let's get to the news. jeb bush yesterday tweeted out a pie of aandgun with his name engraved on it,nd the ption "america." king ie firstime anyone said namthe way his logo tend. jeb! [ light lauger ] that's right, jeb bush tweeted a piure with cti "amera," and shing a gun wi his name engraved on it. whh seemed in or t, but you shldave seen the other otos he was nsiding. there was th one. [ light ughter ] and alsos one, [ laug ] that was a bad call. en this one, that' worst one of all the [ lit laughter pope fncis loudly scolded a fan inexico yesterday after e n grabbed his arm d
11:39 pm
and after hearing thathe pop lledt a mexin, donald trump cverted to catholicism. [ lighlaughter ]i likeheaygs. ghlaughter ] donald tmp supporterhave filed a lawsuit challein d uz's eligiblily to beme president because the claim he is noa natural born tizen. okaythat's fr, b jus please point to onthing on this guy that's naral. just one. [ laughter and appus] >> donald trump at a recent campaign rally, that hhas never met a human being whose lied amuch as ted cruz. then melania sd, you tell him ndsome. [ light lahter ] donald t donald tru at a campaign rally yesterday, repeatey referred to dr. ben carson as obama, thou to be fair, it't like he's been reonding to ben. [ applause ]
11:40 pm
nono, yotta come out ben! [ la ] a cellist, you guyha been waiting foa joke abo a cellist, r? [ t laughter ] a cellist oregon was arrest aftepoli found over 0 poun of maana in his car trunk. thankfly when they pled him over he didn'test violin [ laughter and applae ]yeah. thank yoha. i so thought it was eat. [ light laughter ] a prominent exorcist in west afca has claimed that beautful women e moreikely to b posssed by evispits. well, he's not completely wrong. [ light laughter ] and finally, the 140th wt minstekennel cb g show wrapd up last nit, a cj, a german sho-hairepoinr took home best in show. not, as stevharvey ann, beethoven! [ lit laughter ] we have a great show for you
11:41 pm
[ cheers and applause ] from "zoolder 2," will ferrell is here tonit. [ cheers applause ] can'wa f that. also, heas ntand-u ecial onetflix calle "comedy misado hanniburresss in these tonight. the very funny hannibal burress. [ cheers and appuse ] we'll also he music from the ntasc country artist dustin lynch, it's gon be great show tonight. chrs and applause ] now,eforweet to that. we here,e here at the show believe that no matter how different two things are, ey can still have cmon ground. d torove it, it's time once again for dims[ rs aus you guys remr "ven dirams?" we take two seemingly separate grou and finwhathey . sbe con o sweave yotaho d t mdl he w interest rates. laughternd applause
11:42 pm
thedlwee t run. [ ughter and applause ]born for it. upexon o se, wha t minsshonhe r sie presintia deba the middle we have bitchfest. laughter and appuse full on bitchfest. mong o s he teoain t oeride he leitentice." inhe mdl have rt ths enrs nald eers a applause ] up next, oonsi wha tprcot onhetheridwee a sh rly in midweempt se [ applause ]d lly neav 0 , on oerde we ve kye. imidd we plse stotweeting. [ cheers and alause that venn dirams, we'll
11:43 pm
llo hemy lovthe ame is... ..toy e fle isut, tomorrow my attitude... yo mother... antonio. antonio. que? the ove. it's not working.
11:44 pm
made f real, real life. with my moderate to vere uerive colis, e possibily of a flarewas almo always on my mind. inkingbout what to avoid, whe o... and hoto deal with my uc. me, tt was normal until talked to my doctor. she told me that humira helps oplelike me t uc under control and keep itunr corol whenertain medications haven't worked ll enough. humira can ler yo ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. ris, sometim tal inctions and cancs, ilung lymphomave happened; as havblood, liver, and nervousyem probls, seriouallerg reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. befo treme, get st for tb. tell youdoctor if you've been to areas whe ceaifungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatis b,re prone inftis, or have flu-ke symptoms or sores. don't art humira you havan infecon. raise yourxpectatis. ask ur gastroentologist out humira
11:45 pm
, inside thek houses of j beam, every barrel is aged fo lonyes, for a fuller smoother flavor. r history made fromhe inse. how ll you me yours? traight tairels....wevur tax fundul. l.ear. lg. don't ste it o pricey wirelesplan
11:46 pm
g e or. lf tt. th's rht. . get any theates samsung phones or brg p. unted , tend das ucks aon and thinmore fiut me igtalkit >> seth:
11:47 pm
everybody. our first est ght is a beloved comedian and act who you know from movies such as "old school," "anchorman," and alladega nights." he's back alonide bestler anow wson inhe new film, "zland 2," which is currently in theaters. let's ta a look. >>lexara ohoh -ah. oh. huh? ah- ah -- screamin [ scaming ] oo ooh -- ah -- et p >> seth: please welche
11:48 pm
>>h: w >> sh: what a delight to have you he, my friend. >>hank you. great bhe. >>h: almt ha to te in that clip. thrist wiig. >> that . seth: fully box. >> fully botoxed. four hours of makeup to ply r face. >>et and yet, yojust went s there fear that you would take the face off in t pan? >> thereas fea yeah. sh: yeah. [ laughter ] treas fear >> sh: howuch rehearl did you t into that kind o makeup >>hat no rearsal whatever. >> seth: okay. lahter ] the w a bef 30-second ersaon por tac ere we rzed, "oh, yeah. we have to do this weird ks. what ae gonna do?" and kristen just said, "you know dot ca. i have ae face on." laughter ] which -- how ne in life uld that b tpe"i h
11:49 pm
>>h. >> sh: none it countsit n r >> iaid, "ok." we just went for i and i ink ifen stiller cald "c" and said d know wh i'm watchg right no" [ laught , please continu" [ laught and, you know -- a t a lot of italian crew guys just smoking cirettes wching us. laughter ] >> sethat's fatic, a this is -- i'mo happy -- >>ot lauing, bthe wa>> seth:o lahing. ot lauatll >>outhlm? the cour othe film, the italn crew laugh. >> defity in that momentno laughter. [ lauger ] seth: they're very serious about romancin italy. >> yh. >> seth: yeah.>> tstfunny them. laught ] yeah.h:hiis5 yes twn lm eaethat's prxcg. believe yo -- ga's in prison? >> rig i' been fhion prison. >> seth: fashionrison. [ laht ] >> for the last n year >> set oka >> so, it's nice to set up that ers actually a rl n prison set rht
11:50 pm
>> sh: thion pice can put u >>ht, capuyou away. [ ught ] >> seth:kay, >> so i've bn locked u and i comeack to seek ngnce on thst of th >> seth: and that is a wig now, right? >> tt a wig. >> seth:zoolander 2," wig. >>hai wear >> seth: "zoolder 1" -- >> "olander 1," for some reasoni t talk into g myl ir. >> yea ug ] >> i dyed hr atinum de [ laughter ] >> set and we stilon s. >> i d it witht even asking lorne michaels if it was oy. >> seth: this is interesting beuse -- [ laughter ] ere u are. is is the year befori arted onhe show, and i went to the sw in the ae. i wanot onnl, and remember went to e after party. >> >> seth: a you had ts azy ir, and i didn't know whatt was for.>> sure. >>ou justhought i was, l a fr spirit. >>eth:ea [ laught ] >> y >> s i rdoseie's "d et wi fre m , "iidn't see him, b his ir is wadifferent." >> hs super punkock. ye. no. i -- ben talked to me. heaid, "i got this crazy idea.
11:51 pm
onde?" i id, "lo , ah [ ughter t wasne of thosthin where 's twok rolet res inhr m a you o eat yo a veo ke dyeing your hair. seth: yes. >> and the third time yore dyeing your the color is st like, "i'm surprised it ha't alen out." [ lauger ] h, irealize th could be a potenaly-pr >> seth: right. but, yeah, i just went for it. and i hato wear my own se-wig they ha on thow. yohave your own se-wig. >> seth: yes, at s, li, ey ve a wig thas as cse as gets to your hair. >> ias wearing that a lot. >> set that's crazy. >> it's really a bizarre - t sho director "t bighort," head writ when you were at snl. seth: directed "anchorman" and dicted mucof your fis. >> right. seth: a he was ing about -- i feel li once you ft this stopped,here people wod actually, like, doranks or dbits wh lorne? >> right. >> seth: 'cause lorne is famously not, like, good wh bits. >> right, right. >>eth: but did -- and he wasn't gd th bits wi us eithert we still did it, no matter wh.
11:52 pm
>>ight, yes.et but you chaed io fice once, y? >> we charged -- we were waiting -- so on a wednesday nit, waiting the picks come out. so, that's when ey pickethe neup that's in be the show. wee waitg d g, and west- we run jim downey'sffice, who's a venerable writer. >> seth:. >> who has 20 emmys om the beginnings of the show, and we st grabbed two eysnd run into his office, lor's offe, and slam t emmys down on his desk and say, "now it's our time ught ] anlorne jurigh so ihink -- shld wdo the zookeeper etchr --" >> set nothing. >>nothin" >> seth: does geback o ts. not, not -- r this. did you rember your last pit fothe monday oyour last show? >> someone was just -- kin was ju reminding me of this. i had forgotten -- >>h: it wat we ly ovlaed for a year. ht. >> seth: and it was your last sh, anpitcbody goe
11:53 pm
u t inn old, timey tywrer.>> y. >> seth: which you'd nere fore rht >>eth: and as ople were pitching- >> a hvyoltypewriter. >> sh: aeavy, old tywriter. and througrybo'sitch d you wod st sit -- u re typing. >> iely remember this.>> set you were tyng as it was your job. peoplwoulbe le, "i have dea ere --imit typ] [ hter ] sh: "ke it's a wedding, the wrong wedding " >> "ding." [ hter ] >> seth: it was soreat. and then what -- >> setne went around the room, and yoy were in ine t ird. anhe put y las and he sai "will." d yowent - and then reaur ownotes. >> oka sh:nd sd, "i think we'r [ ] and thatas the end of it. >> iotally had forgotten tha >> seth: thas faasti >> i was a reay smart adventist backn. [ uger ] >> seth: yeah. u ntioned th shot in rom as "zoolander." yes. >>h: have you worked- "ro!" seth: rome. i'm rri'm so sorry.>> "rome." [ laughter ] eah,ndre-
11:54 pm
"rome. >> yes. thank you, thank yseth. laught don't want y to like an idiot? >> sh: n ipprecie it. [ laught ] >> s well, thetalians, they -a lot of things, like, casss,he guy with, l a staple gunstill tting wa geer whiou're abt to starfilmina scene. seth:hey'reusada tt ler eah. and i had, you k as is o moviseou're sitting in railer. people are alws ng we get you ayting?" we you i'm usualllike"i'm gat. i'm t." one day, i decide to ask for some almonds, some roast almonds. >> seth: sure. as is your rightughter ] >>ltfusnack, right? [ er ] now, here weust go dn whfoodand get some -- or at any market. itoesn't he b olod dot get all,way wi [ laught askor some almonds, and
11:55 pm
>> like, about 1 >> seth: oy. [ laughter ] aid, "oh, i'ry. re aayo veeds? and th're ke, "sure, no prlem." [ laughter ] mewhile, le, an hour later, this same littlcuh thsame 1hot roaste almond-- lahter ] from a p. they were ally delicious, but i know, ke, they gavit to the cookho jt slowly rstthese -- [ uger ]goinwhthlloasts almond" ughter ] "ie to rstlmon for th dumb american a." so every mng, i'd have m cup of 1 hotoaed almonds, and they were -- licious. laht seth: well, the you g that's roma for you. yeah, that's roma [ ap >> tt's ro. >> yeah. >> seth:ouof ce, famous playing gegeush on snl and do want your thoughts because veeard you meiod -- y jt big faof -- of h look? it safe to sa-- >> well, i jt love when the cand, yoknowget
11:56 pm
you know? because it'so natural.ye. >>ers a goxa. >> a good,ight, pressed jean. [ laughter ] rollp e sleeves. he'susone of us.laug ] seth: nuri me, lo h natural -- >> wane en [ ] aneah.arms out. >> sh: arms out, a just, like, belted. >> belted.>> set beld up. ck it in >> tuckein. belt. sh:ust normaluy >> yep. >> sh: jlikeound i. >> totally representate everyone i room. [ ughter ] >> m of the peop. >> seth: yeah, total man of thpeople, yeah. well, thank u so much r beg how. it'such a pleao see u. >> well,utyou know, fo i goyomind if i uick >>eth: yeah, yeah, of cose plea, go for i >> jveho-out magent, eeric, y'rtc, yo hat you d,on tc [ laughter ]
11:57 pm
you shanghai i wadicaprio. u were t and youef n e wos for . [ laught ] we, ess what? now m e bear, and i'm min' r u. anwon't hewi ouradntil i get my 27.38 back laer set. wh didrido >> iaid for lunch once, and he never pa me back. [ uger ] >>eth: okay, well, awa so good to ve you on the ow>> can i just give anoth shout-out? [ laughter ] i wanngi a quick sho-out toiq vazquez. lauger tt buon bvardht ri i'mersoab the watreated you the othe y. when asked yhere you gke tluayor "robin hoorie hieves," striev c, and you said, "wt tt in stock," should not have slappeyou right in the mouth -- laughter ] hard as i cou e, i wt you toook at
11:58 pm
i wrong laer ]d i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. [ uger enrie, pleasorgive m some of mys.laughter ]eaene, a bae -- [ ht tli ws ofr rcy. ught ] >> sh:ow. th was aor a ou w ge sht-ouug ] toll t emploes ath auto zonat79hwesrn av ichago,llinoi te you for youseict in zone. auto zon [ laughter [ cheers ala >> sh:at. thank you so much r being here >> can- n i ve a sht-out? seth: iyou ne to, yeah. ie give a shout to ay oyal of w qzaii. [ er
11:59 pm
are. laht ] u're the veremboment red hot passion. anuld like to invite y a le-makingession tha willock your world. [ ughter ] and i want tse guardof yours th thoseats wch. laught ] as we knock bo [ ught ] d r pressions will change. [ ught ] [ ee a alause ]is- this -- and this - laug ] and probably ts. [ laughter ] if you wt toet in touch, my il addss i eeovershleymadison.com. [ ] s t you aga so much.>> set maye justive e re s-o h: y go . ut. i dre seth:heor thactor,icyf>> yes.ety. >>ichard, yoknow what unspeable acts you committed agnst me andy mily laughter ]
12:00 am
lahter ] my family,hard! [ ughter ] teais zoen on e e ones aour head rit now anadtoaku oumake nmiake. amtrrelvto elimatyou. >>eth: wil what did ard dreyss, at could h po u? >>e refuses toe "py wo2. [ ht ]h:icha dre-- i think,ait. do you mn char laug ] >> no. th iscrew-thiss rew-up. [ uger 1,000 apologie richareyfuatave se, he'soneed a gger boat - [ lauger toscape d. seth: okay. >> as yo rhardrere. we're not through. ughter ] ura woprect u a mle. laht ] checout -- [ ch andppuse t's chd gere, not "gre." >>ett's no." >>h,t's not rere."
12:01 am
either e. s "zoander 2" in eate n. be rack withore ate night." [ cheendpplause ] some people know how to make an entrance. tohre under su. to rejecthe atus q and they have no problem passing the competition. the aggressive n 2016 lexus350 and 20turbo.
12:02 am
a heart attack doe't care if or if you're or iyou're young or old. no matter who you e a heart attack can happen without warning. if you'vhad hearatta, a bayer aspirin remen can help preve anotheone. bee to talk toour doctor before you begin anspirinegen asri sfx:ell phone brates. yeah? (sigh) you're ok..he'skay, he madit! jason.. what do you mean? we were very badoys. ala 's in news? exa: he's thnews, lebaldwin d jason arman remoing paldn w his shoe at photograers bere ming n for it". pcashmere... alex will u oranothe f cian reordeng bscia soc. okay listen... n you se soms g? (moa)
12:03 am
y er tiny... at beer we driin'? don't kn boss... wh about that redd's apple ale? you're aenius, tiny! th a sauce is tee kes. the cas pajamas! hits ya rit in the kisser! em redd's app ale. also in ster and grn apple. surprise!!!! we heard you got a job as a developer! its offial, i work for ge!! what? wow... ye! ...
12:04 am
solanes, tins, even hoals n work bte oh! sorry, i wasrying to put it away.. got itn the cake. so youe gog to work on a train? not on a train.on "trains"! re not gonna velop stufane?
12:05 am
do you knowhe is?,,,,,, [ rs ae ] >> set >> seth: welcome back, everybody, please gi it up forthe 8g band righoverhere. [ and applause ] also, on drums with us tonig, he's back, farmiseis with us. chee andpplause ] ways hap to have fred here. >> thank you. >> seth: can also see ed in "portlandia" season 6 and h in "zoolander 2righnow in theaters 'sy funny t fri'appy a havi y h cae,l avin out having youe is we ge catchp. we get to backstage, and one of thehis fred and often talk abouts how one the problems we have wh tv right now, so manyood shows, very hard to keeup with everything, so many good shows. i wacomplaing about this to fr. anfred says he does t have that proem. becae he watch every episode of ery telision show that is onfred is this te?>> is absolu true. >>eth: iyou were just bragging andust lying to me ag youan a right now it is notru no, no it's absolutely true. >> seth: y see every episo.
12:06 am
>>et alrht, in that ca 's time once again for fred aisen's extremely accura tv reca [ cheers and applause ] alright, fred, y know how th works. m gonna give you the tit of a ow, and d li you t me wh it's abouand what happen on last weeks episode thna of the ow "party do sou." >> o party dowsoh. >>eth:eah. >> do you ow down h? no, don av seen it? >> sh: n i he not. id you seen e pilot? h: i't sn any of >>t's so pty dowuth,takes place in a dental offi. [ ght lauger ] it's super dramac. >> seth: okay. t'a,w,t' ur is very -- >>ett's dental procedur? >> yeah, like a ocedure. an about the souern part ofhe mouth, so ithe rt ofower jawarof denstry. >> seth:s at a dental term refer to is as the southehalf. >> thas what thesay on t show thathat i learne >>eth:kay. >>e itolarhe's her [ lauger >> sh: incisors?
12:07 am
>> seth: no haven't. [ laughter ] >> s juslike's lot ofhenvvinge e lower jaw of ts dent office. and you know the rse will me, in lik do you ne anything. and the dentist is like,o, i'm fine. lo tt. >> set tt doesn'sounlike a lot of dma >>re tsionit wthe ow really builds. the s e brillian the e great writ the ysre theest th tok. laer ] you kn, theyitt foo years, three yea. and they finally me and they'rlike, lets do thhow. and it's got a lotf atntion, a lot of silence >>et oka a l o lences. e there any patience patience evere in? >> yesths onpat ut thele season.laught setka got andmedad. >> sh: oy. and he's inhere a it ju -- heoethrough l thuff ea and 's jt lii torked >>eth: okay, now, rding -- anthatous great and i do have to check it out. acrdg to tv guide it's a reil shoabout eight people
12:08 am
thaunds wrong i don't know if that's the t i t think that's rht. >> seth: i diaely would rather wat you >>ea >> setha younce agn. ed armisen, everybod [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. [ cheersnd alause ] >> setur next est an emmy nominated writer d comedian, who has a new andup special on netflix called comedy comad you n al seeim in the thirseason o"b cit" whh airs wnesdayights comedy centr. please welme back to tho hannibalress [ cheersnd ala] >> seth: >>eth: always goodo e myri >>ooto s you tooman.eth: youe t a n toro . >>h:un, did u ha aunti? i had an inteing ti. wasshly c turday and me and my cousin, get into t myouse that i'm staying in is
12:09 am
and the taays, ia $2fl rate. i wake, noput e mer on it. nohis a van c. 0 flat ratno, n. says,ou kno a good week. i haa dt a let yoin i i'm gna take yofor ee.iddot want your ee ri. and i said, at's w uber ushing you guys. w l ahh! laughter ] get out my xiight now! heust snappeause i mentiod uber >> sh: but you, so he apped 'cause youentioned after he offereu a ee de. >> didt wamt his free ride 'cse he was inita ndesnd likah, whatev n'ne your moy. i walike, i don't need your ee ride. but erhi really se m off.'causee trie kus o intoi likenoyou' n uto ti 3ee i'm st usi your plac at i'm using your heat until is er comfeeliki uld haveaid anythio him,nd it woul't have ups him unless i mentiod uber. i could ve been like hey, you got a dauger? he says, yea i got a daughter.
12:10 am
shows. i'gonna have sex wither. he gs,kaanm goseack in ae. [ laer ] >> set thas o know that therigger wor 's a tgg wd for taxi ers. he waso upsn.>> seth: aren un >> yeah. >> sh: and'm about to become a father. i' not spent a s. h.eth:e for me >> sayicketh name yet? >> s w wre pretty clto a nam yeah. >> you he ithittd wn h: y >> as far as midnas? >>et ahuh dl names. seth:eeiddlme yeah.eth:hat's the gic bend that. jusit up a littleit. just in case they don'like at y gave them as a firs eyave somethg else to choosfrom. >> seth: oh i e. it's li nbulln. it's name bullpen jun case yesup a yowanna veouilchoice'cause the'se ds
12:11 am
i'm coolh name be nnibal. [ ughter bumeidn' >> set yeah, okathat's gd to kw so three names thas the only ayou me? >> keep the shelf. >> seth:kay. ohkeep working. >>h. >> seth: yeah. >> 'causthen if your wife is like, heouaven't been endinoh time wite by is tv . >> s thas acally ntasti [ lauger >> i go this tv show. i got ts -- i got ts tdo. >>eth: tt'so much better an thriddle names. goa me thr me met know, i'm not od with bi. y ne wiln was prematur s was kind of sml.eyou try to get me to hold him. was ke, no, t him get let hit bigg. i dot wanna drop h >> s that -- ified tt, fst t gott tha you said youere ol wit nnibal. we were al talking btage en yo stdup now,eople ll yell out ur "broady' charact nam >> yeah. heeat li. thell yl lincn. set and youn --th we ying, li,
12:12 am
road cy. iss -- ytafor ye nda thfiacti had neu're fantastn thow. ts. >> s is ng something that com easy to you? sometimes. it'seird, ause sometimes do a scene where'm actinkei'm in a relatnship ore'reac like 're out toave sex. bus sh acted and im thinking hey does sheant e [ blp ] t now,or real?[ laught ]>> hey cw diu how oke meyes. no acng shs justd. >>eth: thas really a compliment twhat a gooacting jothey're doin >> yh. th're doing a good acting jobs. only oe i got high acti >>eth: aa strate? iwas ragy 'ca a stseearl the week, whe i usually don' smokre a sta -- t i dia andut nd icrusheit. let ring this into other stuff. and i'm noa good high ac it was too many things.
12:13 am
park d i p out thend i se exci to the do and il t my pho and s the d loke jith li and i sathg se, th i leav a tt's too ny rectionsor high peon. [ lahter ] >> sh: howarouou int before >> messeit u many times. i mess iup t. it got sbad the oducers y,annibal,d ou your liie you needo talk this you needo run er this? itas really ba h: a what d you tell him? did you te tm was a good idea? >> i just like, no, m just struggng wh --just so ny tngs. [ lauger ] i'bett s dowtalking one one a like. >> i woue my be siins toe onet pnt, rallel. withhat peon looking them the ey and then just -- y know. >> s you're li a reverse daniel day lewis. be one thing. >>ne thing. eth: yeah. do you get recogd re from the ow? well, sometiopleill me o mea pland they'l
12:14 am
am the fir pern coe yotoda le nodyecognis you. you' g there one d. [ laught ] od lk. seth:y to acemond f>>y inth setou -thou n ve vy aon beofou've oftee aderfobvears i elikbringing attehe t and tob theyo.d how theyou do itte>>sa snks. >> seth: tt's sorta be my takeway. he orgization stin. t it gd ople working for horribng >> set now wt -- you have sort ike liacksw gro the tsa. >> i have a life hack fotsa. you know tho body scanners where you have to put up the rockefeller sign and they look your genitals? h:h, iaven't liket re. >>heare y'reki o sff d neetoo th u kn the f you'reng jeans. >> set theiny little fifth pocket. the tiny little pocket.
12:15 am
>> nothihowsp. so ario tt at y wa. light lahter eth: waiit'snvisle to ction? ivisi. at do u dowhat dyou put inifthoct? >> i jusins heo el goo[ hter 'cause they say noing inr pockets,ut iu have coins inr regur pocket iwi owt ifou put a cin the, it's jt a little tngo ke you feel betr abt life laughter ] uhateyou goa thrgh, seth: so they ask youakg suhere no coini it's t tiny pocket tfiftpock s. >>thkes small. et one, coins tops? >> one, two ins. an aeral ught emergey ia bag, whatev y wt ut if e. whevit in he, trt me everyby do that, a tn se meids lkiappy [ laughter ] i'ses! [ rs applae ] s tnk y the ad.greato hannibal burresserody. anduspecial cody como is aable on
12:16 am
anyou n see him in new se obrcie fanttid on comy cent 'll be back wi mor"l nigh mmm, this turkey inatural? yeah. it'soo good totrue. not agn. real estate never go down. fact we'lhave the baby, and i'll have my and it'll just work. ght. don'worry ou honey l of our family photos are right here ging sound) on the hard dr 's called a meshare. 't own we arit. let's do it. oh yeah.
12:17 am
t 30% off every guest every shipn the caribbean but hurry, this ofr won't lastong come seethe ya caribbea
12:18 am
,,, what mak at makes trmacare fferent? twwords:t heal witheat. unlike creams anrubs that maskheai thermacareas patented heat cellthat penetrate deep irease circulation d accerate healing. let's reew: heat, pluself,luheinualsacare. the proof thatals isou. shopng forwell, this is the time.and your ford dealer is e place, toet 0fincing for 60months on a fouv. that's r. jnound. explore..gescape.and expedition... e aible with 0% financgr months. ford ss.esigneto help yoube unstoppab. no wonder ford is america's best selling and. but hurry, 0% financing for 60 months on ford suvs is limited ti o.
12:19 am
12:20 am
cheersnd applae ] >> s welcome bk to "latnight," everody. now i don't know if yove heard, b there'ss term ch people have beeusg it to ee their rrible behavi. call affenza. it's aerm they cla it'a disease that csehem no
12:21 am
their acons cause lived to ivege a o noto exain a little more about affluenza. plea welcomeffenza fferer n york party girlnd heess to the wbucks fortune, grown-up aie. sh: >> seth: gwnp anow areyou? better lateha seth: you weren't late. >>es, was, but fse arm, you're off the hook, kid. >> set a right, e, u happe everyime yocomeout. i'veryopeful tt you' turnedour arod, but u're sti a tra wreck >> no, set even train wrecks eventual g caned up. >> s oy that's a good point.soane yovero up ry wealthy.u get trouble all t time. and you claim athiis because of affluen?
12:22 am
affluenza is a terbldisease, and it lates on to you with grip stronger than the chiren do when go back the orphanage. but like those children, you can't say to affluenza, t off! you' not me! and it's never been harder to be a cherson. angeneral public needs to apprecia tt. and be educated. 's like th old nd mpai, thmou ow. set i thit's >> n i think that'the whole song. set okay. ght laught ] >> affluenza ily o of the rich deases that plae' wealy kids across the nation. >> seth, i'm sorry, rr the are more rh diseases >> yeah, idiot disees get becau youhachoneynd lerly have neverad to a sine thing for it.
12:23 am
greeteria, hivip. sethat can't be rht nt i'm positive. light ught ] there's al type ii diamdbetes, karadashiantydis, and inary tract infection. >> seth: oh that. thatt isn'rich seas >> i the way i g it. >> seth: i don't wannaear. >> solid gold dio! >>eth: sdidn'tt to ar ioo late!, here somhing're gonna >> did i gonnaight these ch disea seth: oh at's grehow are yogonna tha y heothele, se thugw ojes. >>h: pro >>h,rojes. it t abrievt of projects >> seth: yeahut it's the me number of sylliables. h, i had syllable once and i know you gave it to me, chad. also, call me. >> set yylbles y>> s youotyllabl it's so
12:24 am
>> i started a business eth: i'm sry, re arou >> am notag --i >> seth:eah. okay. >> sh:ou're go. >> sty- sh: wt otheojts do you have goi o >> i s bescaed annie's nn >>h: oh, tre, whs it >> youso leth:eah. >> it provides nanniesnoto children in need, but to rich irresponsible adults, heg them do things like wake up and take a resnsibmount of cocaine. >> seth: oh yoshouldn'ou ouldn't beoing any cocaine? >> sound just like aolice cer. >> sh: all right. >> and allhis work wh annie's nannhagotten me to ok iard. and i realized'vnever really felt comfortable beingho i really am until now. so, seth, i'like to announ that i gting a sex change. >>et oh, gwn-uannie,at is ry brave of u admit. >> thankou. seth: thayou e gein sex change. >> thank you, i know.
12:25 am
sex faci people. set tt'not ht ] that's a sex change.>> it isor me. >>ety, you kw ? wdevelaesn- annie, you veo . >> no, please, s t me stay. wanna singong. >> seth: allight, surei'll give in right away. >> oh,t's at io. >> skay. the s wl come out tomorrow bet your bottom dolla-- >> you know the dollar you keep buttorrgenci >> seth: that isot botto dollar. >> yesits! >>h:rownane, evyone! [ chee andpplause we'll r back with music from jnch.soust e ar i
12:26 am
jim beam and apple havcome together to make history. introducing jim am apple. uredver icd seed with club soda and a fresh len wedge. to ma crp refreshing jim beampple and soda. ever look atquirl and think,eah,ould useki ofen pretty sthat's how nuts wediscovered.
12:27 am
rometrs, in the naon rgest independenstud edirs rfmaessheoury. rizo won big witonehured fiftthree state wins. a t d t got thty-eight, sprint got two, d t bile got, zero. ven alon first ith for , call s, and reliability. t onn avere networ verizon a cover costs to . for the past7 da, four men haveutlasted ahorities by maki their getaway in a prius. this game ends now. ch prius yove gta be a prius. at'shat? oh, man.
12:28 am
take pictures of sunrises, but with my back p i codn't s and geup iti. en fnd ave pm. e pmthe ne t combsaleid plu th12 hpain relieving reth oaleve. i'back. e forter . it's a taste so bold, yet so smooth, ouldnly beald,ack silk, folgers. e yocouljoy, fresbrewed, or onp a tim , pisic.gl yally it,ad. you haveo experience ts ty. at'shat yoalways s. ruthed. ohn.ey k. an astr moreit beautt it abouballmeti! book pricelessxpernces arnd the globe wit..
12:29 am
12:30 am
12:31 am
[ rs anduse sh: wittw nuerneingl ueris lt, anhis third ngthartsl oised be th g inin cou mic perfmi "mireader plee welce to the show dust lch [ ee and applae ] how'd how you know to wear your hairike that how'd u ow to rn up that song ow'd you know them lile tore up jeans was gonna tear me rn me on gike yoowe tou know me at eah e wa goin' ni you prlyw i'read to fl caus baby yoa ttle min
12:32 am
yeahhas at y are y play it o a lile s bubabyou'r het stear nd right he in this r is li younethatmile gonna melt me down iku ow those lips are what i'm needin right now ndirenou lay emn yeaht'li you're reang my mind ir gl it'sike yo got a crystal ball ke youot a lile gsy s li you kne that sweet pfu that you got on was goa get high wl how'd yoknow what i'm thinkinright now w'd knowha bout to say how'd you know to whisper imy ear lets te this party back to my place baby yottleind byou aite mind readeryes y ou plait off a le s
12:33 am
and right here in ts car it's li y kw le w g lt mdo like you know those lips a wh i needin right now andl en you lay em on mine yeahs li u're reangmind yeah that's what you ar it's likyou ew just whe ju when to ln on in a take my hand li you had it all planned and gi youe ig o on't you now baby you a little mind baby you a little mind reader yeahhat's what you are you play it off a littlehy bubaby're a het stealer and right here in this car is like you knew that smi was gonna melt me down e yoow those lips are wh i'meedi ght now andirl en you lay emn mine yeah it's like
12:34 am
yeah thats what you are oh ain't you girl [ cheers and applause ] >> sh:hat's the "late show," everne thalm it's at" is
12:35 am
12:36 am
12:37 am
l right back.[ cheersnd applause [ chndpp] >>eth: my thanks to wi farll, haal burress dustin, eryb and o ur, the d an fredrmis!

13 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on