tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS September 15, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
i feel like i'm enjoying myself. of course, a lot of prep went into this show. for instance, this summer i dropped a few pounds because, because the new suits are, shall we say, slim fit. i think these pants technically qualify a as spanx. i've been trying to watch what i eat, stay healthy. it just so happens here in new york city, the city watches what you eat, too, because starting in december, restaurants will warn you in this city it if their food contains more than the recommended daily limit of salt by printing a black triangle with a salt shakener it next to that item on the menu. that's the new law. and it's going to be hard for a lot of fast food restaurants where the lowest sodium dish is often the salt packet. ( applause ) delicious. it's delicious.
now, i'm a little skeptical whether this new law will change anything. once you've decided you're gonna eat fast food, i think you're beyond caring what's in it. it could be ground up umbrella handles formed into a patty. is it covered in pump cheese? then get in the munch holster. ( applause ) , but i say-- ( applause ) that sounds pretty good. that sounds pretty good, a ground-up umbrella handle with pump cheese. i say if you want to scare people off bad food, forget the salt shaker in the black triangle. just add the skull and crossbones. that's what my mom did to stop me from dinking the pirate juice under the sink. that's what i called it, i called it "the pirate juice." why else would it have a skull and cross bones. tonight, we have more than your recommended daily allowance of joe. i will be sitting down right over there actor jake gyllenhaal.
( cheers and applause ) his latest movie is "everest," about climbers stuck on the world's highest mountain during a blizzard, so there is a chance during the interview i will have to cut him open and crawl inside for warmth. i will also be talking with the cello apple time cook-- i'm sorry that should be the c.e.o. of apple, tim cook. it's the. ( cheers and applause ) it's the damn autocorrect again. ( laughter ) i'm sure-- ( applause ) turn that off. turn that off. i'm sure it's going to be a great interview, although he'll probably just release a cooler, updated version of the interview three months from now. then we will hear a performance by run the jewels and tv on the radio on this stage.
( cheers and applause ) both of them, that is two musical acts for the price of one, and like most music these days, that price is zero dollars. dollars. ♪ ♪ oh! oh, ladies and gentlemen, i love that sound. it's jon batiste and stay human. say hi, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! these guys are gonna play the theme song right now. are you all ready to hear the new "late show" theme song? okay, me, too. before we do, one last thing. pope francis says when he visits here next week he wants to have a new york hot dog, so if you weren't doing it already, pray for him. tonight, i welcome actor jake
stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: that's very pleasant. cheape( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody. you folks out there, out there, in he were, a big reason why i've enjoyed the last week, it's a lot of work but also a lot of fun. how did it go for you guys? >> it was nice, man. we was on a vibe. >> stephen: wow, that's-- that's-- i gotta get on a vibe. >> yeah! >> stephen: can i get a prescription for a vibe. >> yeah, you gotta get-- it's different vibes, classical vibes, jazz vibes. >> stephen: what is this vibe? >> we on a good vibe. >> stephen: folks, that is one of the reasons i took the job is to work with these guys. but another reason-- honest to god. honest to god. the other-- another reason i took this job is to have the privilege to talk about the presidential campaign. ( cheers and applause ) you see-- it is, it's a privilege and an honor to sit up here every night and talk to you about it.
2016 is the fifth race i've been on the tv for. and from this position of experience, let me tell you, this year, there are a lot of candidates. ( laughter ) this one... this guy-- this guy-- this guy-- this is nice. this guy smells like peppermint. ( laughter ) this right here, this is an embarrassment of riches of embarrassing rich people. speaking of which, you want to talk about donald trump? ( cheers ) not as much as donald trump does. and people love this man because he's averaging nearly 30% in the polls, 12 points higher than his nearest rival, neurosurgeon ben carson. of course, this isn't the first time a surgeon has been destroyed by a loud, lumbering monster.
aarrgghh. jeb! jeb! jeb! aaahh! mexican bad. build wall. you're fired. but, folks, it's not just trump. it's all of these people here. america has been captivated by the spectacle of 22 political warriors ruthlessly battling in the arena for our support. it's like "the hunger games." no, it's more than that. it's-- "the hungry for power games." ha! ha! welcome. yes, i love it! i love it, yes. welcome to "the hungry for power
games." candidates, assemble! ah, yes, yes, look here, a fresh crop of tributes for the capital. may the margin of error be forever in your favor. ( laughter ) let's see, let's see. now, who looks expendable this year? hmm, yes, yes. have the large angry one from the east fight the curly haired one from the coal district. yeah! delicious! delicious! but, citizens, sadly over the weekend we lost one of the most promises tributes. james. >> republican rick perry has become the first major candidate to drop out of the 2016 presidential race. >> today, i'm suspending my campaign for the presidency of the united states. >> stephen: oh, rick, oh, rick. rick, we hardly knew ye existed. ( laughter ) ( applause ) because, you were polling at
0.8%. yes. ha! delicious! yes, well behind "none of them" at 4%. yes, oh, oh. ( cheers and applause ) ha-ha! if only-- if only the governor could have been as inspirational as none. but governor perry knew how to make the most of his final moment in the arena, telling a supporter before his speech, "we'll make a little history here." yes, it's like the old saying, "history is written by those who quit 14 months before the thing happens." ( cheers and applause ) cheers. , of course, true, true-- yes. yes. true consors of the games saw this coming. perry sponsors had been fleeing
him for months causing him to lay off staff, shudder campaign headquarters and even downgrade his smart-guy glasses to a smart-guy monocle. he fought briefly but bravely. let us bit farewell to the fallen. farewell, rick peri. ( cannon fire ) ( cheers and applause ) ha-ha! yas much as i'm going to misrick perry, i think i'm going to miss my jokes about his smart-guy glasses even more.
( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) ha-ha! of course, rick perry's fall raises some interesting questions. i think senator rand paul said it best when he tweeted: i'll tell you what it says, senator. it says there's finally room for one of those "duck dynasty" guys to get in. my friends, my friend, the state of our union is... stick around,
citizens, we've got jake gyllenhaal and tim cook. yeah! ♪ why you gotta be like that surprise!!!!! we heard you got a job as a developer! its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay... guys, i'll be writing a new language for machines so planes, trains, even hospitals can work better. oh! sorry, i was trying to put it away... got it on the cake. so you're going to work on a train? not on a train...on "trains"! you're not gonna develop stuff anymore? no i am... do you know what ge is? at sprint, we're building the world's best network. faster and more reliable than ever. we've already invested over 20 billion dollars and 23 million hours.
our customers are noticing. and we're being recognized across the country. because our network is stronger, faster, and more reliable than ever before. and we're just getting started. it's time to move forward and cut your rate plan in half. bring us your verizon or at&t bill, turn in your old phone, and switch to sprint today. no fees, 25% rewards bonus, extra interest, the preferred pricing, merrill edge online investing. -pretty solid, huh? -yeah, i agree. i actually have a bunch of other ideas, but they're not gonna fit on that board. you know, we got another side to that board. i don't see it right now. it doesn't -- it doesn't turn. can we underline some stuff, then? because none of it's really popping out. i've got this underlined in another color. are you gonna use that green marker? because it's just sitting there. you know, let's just... that's just decoration. and i am uncomfortable with the green marker. introducing our 2015 nfl line up. get your favorite team's
it's all right it's all right ♪ >> stephen: all right! welcome back! you know what, folks, let's try this one again. you know, as a warning to parents, this next segment contains references to recreational drug use, so you might want your children to leave the room before they see you getting these jokes. and, kids, you might want to leave anyway, because this segment also contains graphic references to ohio. jim? >> ohio will be the next state to vote to legalize marijuana. a group collected enough signatures on the issue for that november ballot. the 5th state to legalize marijuana for recreational use. >> stephen: that's right, for the first time in history-- ( applause ) a lot of people from ohio here tonight. for the first time in history, ohio could legally be round on
both ends and high in the middle. ( applause ) yeah. this is a big deal. this is a very big deal. you expect the mary jane to be legal in states like oregon or washington or colorado. for pete's state, colorado's state flag is a yarn poncho. but ohio! come on! that's america's heartland where folks are supposed to get high on elbow grease and huff the can-do spirit and free-base a buck eye. but it looks like this thing could actually pass. according to a recent poll, ohioans support legalization 52% to 44%. ( cheers and applause ) this-- this, despite public health officials warning that it's dangerous to legalize weed in a state with the national headquarters of wendy's. wait a second. wait a second. a redhead with braids? that's willie nelson.
( applause ) i'll see you tomorrow, willie. i'll see you tomorrow, willie. remember to bring some "wendy's" with you, enough for everybody, biggie fries, okay. but even if legalization looks likely, the pro-marijuana lobby isn't resting on their dank, sticky laurels. they're bringing out the big guns to appeal to the youth vote. >> look who is coming to college campuses. this is buddy the marijuana mascot. the group is using the mascot to encourage college students to get out and vote this november. >> stephen: yes, buddy, the marijuana mascot. now, first of all, if you're a college student who's high and you see buddy, i'm not sure you're going to go to the voting booth. i'm pretty sure you're going to check yourself into a psyche ward. and second first of all, i'm not convinced that is marijuana. it's got a "b" on its chest and
it kind of looks like a giant brussel sprout. that would be a hard sell to college students. you'd have to smoke a whole lot to catch a buzz. and third first of all, i seriously question whether you need this mascot to promote the idea of marijuana to college students. they already have a mascot, their freshman roommate chief big-bong. and his friend the warrior, who doesn't even go to your college but is always hanging out anyway. oh, yeah, ah, the warrior. on the war path. folks, i think you might as well send a mascot called yummy, the muscular pizza slice, and prophylacto he is here to help the freshmen. his secret lair is his wallet and he never leaves it. some say he's in there still. we'll be right back with jake
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest was nominated my first guest was nominated for an academy award for "brokeback mountain." for an academy award for "brokeback mountain." he he has since played lead roles in "zodiac," "end of watch, "nightcrawler," and "southpaw." and now he stars as a mountain guide in "everest." >> not so good, man. >> he's way, way, way back there, man. >> hey, roberto, i'm pretty sure my whole team made it up, yeah?
>> i saw them. >> stephen: let's see if he can make it out here. please welcome jake gyllenhaal. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: nice to see you. >> nice to see you. >> stephen: the people are very excited. very excited for you. >> so nice to be here. >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> it's an honor to be here. thank you for having me. >> stephen: it's an honor to have you here. >> it's an honor to be here at the end of your first week. >> stephen: you're my first anniversary gift to myself. i said, "someone have jake gyllenhaal washd and brought to my tent." ( cheers and applause ) you're a real actor. >> newer a newborn. >> stephen: i am a newborn. i can barely hold my head up.
( laughter ) one of the reasons we decided to have you on here is because you're, for me, the path not taken. you're a real actor. >> okay. >> stephen: i kind of wanted to be an actor, and instead i do this. ( laughter ). >> you've played a role. >> stephen: i have played a role. i played a role. i got into character for nine years. >> that's a serious role. >> stephen: i had to gain some weight for it. ( laughter ) you really transform yourself. you do the real actor thing, which i've always been curious about. we have a couple of things here. this is like you, you did, like ride-alongs. you've done ride-alongs, is that right? >> yup. >> stephen: you've-- you've-- you've gotten jacked. this is for "southpaw." jake got jacked. you lost 30 pounds for ""nightcrawler." is it harrowing to do that? when you go to take a part, do you say to yourself, "okay, this is--" like this movie-- "this is the mountain i have to claim? and do you ever worry yourself?
because these are worrisome photographs. ( laughter ) >> the sacrifices that we make as actors -- >> it's true, you don't have to do it. you know those hobbits didn't actually have two feet removed from their legs in "lord of the rings." you could c.g.i. this if you wanted to. >> i'd be a great hobbit because i have super hairy feet. i don't have to do anything at all. i mean, you think this is bad -- >> you would make a better dwarf, because hobbits do not have beerdz. >> that's true. they have weird hair, which i have, also, so it's fine. >> stephen: when you throw yourself so far into a part, do you worry the people who love you-- because, again, this image-- >> there's nobody that really loves me. so it's okay. >> stephen: everybody loves you! ( cheers and applause ) your sister. your sister maggie must love you. >> she does. and i love her. >> stephen: does she ever call you up and say, "just act."
>> actually, yeah, she has said that to me. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. i believe in the fact that-- you know, you see someone's face a lot,un, you get to know them. i don't-- i think playing a character you should transforms yourself. i think some things call fur to do things, internally and externally. sometimes not at all. sometimes you have to. i have a visionave character and what a character should be and sometimes i follow it. in the case of nightcriewrl i epivision the character as he used his word and not his body as much so i lost a lot of weight for it. >> stephen: you lost a lot of weight and ran 15 miles a day. >> yes. >> stephen: do you sometimes take a part just to make sure guto the gym? >> yes, yes. >> stephen: if you didn't take these parts, would you be fat? >> yes, yes. actually, you just discovered my secret. ( laughter ) >> stephen: do you-- do you take it home by accident ever? you have ever taken a character home? i would hate to see you take "nightcrawler" home. because i took my character home
a few times, from the old show, i took it home by accident a few times. my wife knew right away and said, "get the hell out of this house and come back as the guy i married." did you ever make a mistake and bring it into your life. >> i am lou bloom, the guy in "nightcrawler." i am just pretending to be me right now does that make sense? >> stephen: it's scary, it's scary. >> yeah, of course, they seep into you after a while. and i think that's why it's called "a craft." you think you prepare yourself with technique and education so you analyze enough and you learn about the craft of acting so you don't get too lost. >> stephen: what about the craft of mountain climbing. you were on everest-- did you have to learn any mountain climbing? did you go do it? >> we actually did it. we actually mountain climbed. >> stephen: do you like heights? >> i'm not a big fan of heights -- >> tough part. >> i don't mind being high up but i don't like heights eye don't like hanging off of something. you picture yourself eye don't know if you ever do this, but
sometimes -- >> i rarely dangle off of things. yeah. >> but sometimes when you're driving across a bridge, you see the top of a bridge, you know, and you think, wow, if i walked up there, some people would be like i could do that easily. i wouldn't be nervous. i don't think i cowl do that. >> stephen: when you drive across a bridge sometimes you look at the top of the expwrij go, "what if i was walking up there?" you sound like a very dangerous driver. ( laughter ) it's 10 and 2,ize on the road. gyllenhaal. if that is your name. >> are you just peeling me back like an onion here. >> stephen: a layer at a time. ( laughter ) ( applause ) speaking of taking it home, as an actor, and as i said, a real actor, does everybody in hollywood know each other. i don't live in hollywood. i have always lived in new york, you know-- ( knocks on desk ) ( laughter ) ( applause ) ♪ ♪ i love it out there. i love it. lovely place. but you know people out there because we had amy schumer on lasted from. >> yeah. >> stephen: and she-- did you know that she was living in your house for a while?
>> i knew that she was renting my house, yes. >> stephen: did you know she was renting your house before you found out it was her or did you rent it to anybody. >> what people don't know is everybody in hollywood just lives in the same house. it's not like-- that's why we're all so nice to each other. that's why we love each other so much and everybody is so great because we live in the same house. >> stephen: that's why you couldn't bring your characters home. they go, he's just playing a psychopath. this is the video. she was at your house. she was there by herself, renting your house while she was in l.a., and you were off doing something, probably climbing a mountain. and she found a frozen cheesecake, birthday cheesecake in your freezer, and this is the video show showed last week that she made for you. let's watch this, jim. >> it says, "happy birthday." because it was your birthday. but i am living here, and i am eating this. ( laughter )
( applause ) it's all good. ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> stephen: do you want to send a message back to amy? >> hey, princess, what's going on? ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, jake, you want to-- >> bite where i bit. no, i'm kidding. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: jake gyllenhaal, thank you so much for being here. >> yes! "everest," opens in major cities this friday, and nationwide september 25th. we'll be right back.
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♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> wow. >> stephen: pret nice, huh? pretty nice. you want to use this for your next presentation? >> yeah, could we arrange that? >> stephen: now, are you used to being in front of a crowd this size without a little controller in your hand? >> i have to admit, i feel a little naked. >> stephen: you're supposed to picture the audience as naked to help calm you down. you got a little reverse there. check your settings. ( laughter ) you do these presentations all the time. you just-- you do these presentations all the time where you come out and you talk about what the new apple products are. and you just did a new one recently. let's see. the iphone 6s. that's the big new one right here. and i've got one right here. this is rose gold, rose gold.
and to be clear, you guys didn't give this to me. but you're not getting it back. ( laughter ) possession is nine-tension of the law, sir. i will see you in court! there's no new charger, right? it's the same old charger. >> same charger. >> stephen: good because i will stab you in the neck with a fondue fork. ( cheers and applause ) right now! yeah? okay. >> we've only changed that once in 10 years now. >> stephen: i understand. >> we only did it because we really needed to. >> stephen: it was heartbreaking. it was heartbreaking. a couple of cool new features on this one. one of them is called 3d touch. what does that do? >> it's incredible. it saves you so much time. it basically recognizes the touch of your finger. you press just slightly, and if you're, like, in an e-mail it will pop or give you a peek so you can see the e-mail. if you push a little harder, it will pop so you can see the
entire e-mail. >> stephen: here we go, ready? that comes up and then i can just peek, push. and if i push again, it oppose. whoa! hold on. hold the phone, chuck. it's there. just take-- hold it. take a peek and open up. oh, that's awesome! and it actually kind of touches me back. ( laughter ). >> it does. it does. so you can feel it. and it's on all of the apps that we ship. >> stephen: so it's got a pressure-sensitive scream. >> absolutely. >> stephen: if i hang up hard enough on someone, will it actually hit themon the on the other side? ( laughter ). >> we haven't gotten there just yet. >> stephen: you haven't gotten there just yet, okay. there's one other feature i wanted to show people and this is a cool thing, what is it called, live photos? >> live photos. you take a snapshot just like normal, no changes at all. >> stephen: okay. >> and it captures the second and a half right before the photo and the second and a half right after the photo. the recognition of the insight is some of the most interesting
things happen before or right after the photo. >> stephen: and you go, "just missed what that photo is about." >> exactly, so the photo really comes to life. it's absolutely incredible. >> stephen: we did one earlier today. this is me and a still up here, this is me and i've just finished reading one of my favorite books, "slap stick: theory and practice." you can see what you want right before and right after. ( laughter ) ( applause ) that tells the whole story. that tells the whole story. >> it really does. >> stephen: how about this? i've had a towsm tech giants on the show the last week. i had elon musk on. then i had travis kalenik, the c.e.o. of uber. when he was here, he said, "you know, apple is working on a driverless car." >> i read that. >> stephen: so he's already given it away. you guys aren't big on secrets. tell me about it. ( cheers and applause )
come on! cat's out of the bag! here, i'll vooment you while you talk about it. ( laughter ) >> we look at a number of things along the way. and we decide to really put our energies in a few of those. >> stephen: they're doing it. ( laughter ) now, you-- steve jobs, who was the founder of the company and the man that you used to work for, was a giant in your field and really changed your industry, the way we communicate. a bunch of movies are coming out right now about steve jobs that aren't that flattering. are they going to come out way movie about you in 10 years that basically is like, "yeah, he was pretty nice." ( laughter ) how do you feel about those movies coming out about the guy you worked for so many years? >> you know, i haven't seen them. but the steve i knew was an amazing human being. he's someone that you wanted to do your best work. he invented things that i think
other people could not. he saw things other people could not. he had this uncanny ability to see around the corner. and to describe a future, not an evolutionary future but a revolutionary future. he was a joy to work with. and i love him dearly. i miss him every day. i think a lot of people are trying to be opportunistic, and i hate this. it's not a great part of our-- of our world. and -- >> one of the things you changed about the company is that it didn't have a charitable component before and you've made that an important part of the work you do for human rights and educational purposes. >> right. >> stephen: you, yourself came out as gay recently. was that an upgrade or just a feature that had not been turned on? ( laughter ) ( applause ) before. ( cheers and applause ) and the reason i ask, the reason i ask is that experience of
growing up in alabama as sort of a resident outsider because of your sexuality, did that inform in any way your trying to help people who are in hardship around the world? >> it did, yeah. in all honesty, every day i come to work i have right in front of my desk i have a photo of robert kennedy and a photo of dr. king, and every day i sort of ask myself-- it was dr. king's quote that said, "life's most persistent and urgent question is 'what are you doing for others? '" and it became so clear to me kids were getting bullied in school. kids were getting discriminated against. kids were even being disclaimed by their own parents they needed to do something, and that where i valued my privacy significantly, i felt that i was valuing it too far above what i could do for other people. and so i wanted to tell everyone
my truth. and many people already knew, and so to many people it was no revelation. it was like this-- it's like discovering something on yurks iphone it's always done but you you didn't quite know it, right? ( laughter ) >> stephen: interesting, interesting. >> and so, you know, it wasn't a revelation to a lot of people they work with. but it was maybe to the broader world. and i felt a tremendous responsibility to do it. >> stephen: speaking of-- with this increased sense of social responsibility, many people criticize apple in the past over your supply chain and how your products are manufactured around the world. have you taken that sense of responsibility to the way the products are created? >> yeah, absolutely. we've taken it across the board. you know, in our supply chain, we train everybody on their rights, and that's the rights as we see them. and we have a really high bar. and so we do a lot of things--
we bring college classes to our manufacturing plant because we want people to grow and move up their own career ladder. and, you know, just like our productproducts are meant to gis to everyone to do better things, to empower them to do things they couldn't do otherwise, we want to leave the world better than we found it. and for us, that means focusing on education. it means focusing on the environment. it means focusing on help rights. and so we put a lot of ourselves into these things. >> stephen: you also put a lot of yourselves into these machines in the form of siri. >> we did. she's great. >> stephen: yeah. when i asked-- when i announced that you were going to come on the show, i asked siri in a tweet if she would come up with some questions for you. and what nobody knows is that y'all did it. there are questions for tim cook on siri that anyone in the world can access, but nobody knew they were there. ( laughter )
so i'd like to do one right now if we have a moment now. i can have siri ask a question? >> >> please. >> stephen: siri, what should i ask tim cook? >> do me a favor. ask him when i'm going to get a raise. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> stephen: you've got some explaining to do when you get home. tim cook, everybody. thank you so much. we'll be right back. thank you so much. ♪ ♪ to do amazing things. our phones but why sign a two-year phone contract just to use them? at net10 wireless you can use the phone you already have. and keep your network and number too. for up to half the cost. only on the bring your own phone plan. that's wireless your way. now, get unlimited talk and text, plus 5gb of high-speed data, on the nation's largest, most dependable networks, for $50 a month. net10 wireless.
let's talk about some ways to promote these. let's just throw everything out on the table. let's just spitball, and there isn't a bad idea, all right? thursdays -- shrimp. uh-huh, yeah. you can have them -- every teller has a big bowl of shrimp. won't they be peeling it? it's like peel-and-eat shrimp? what if we got a rock star? ugh, never get a rock star. how are we gonna get a rock star? -why not? -couldn't happen. you don't think so? sure. people like ham. people like ham?
somewhere. i assume. i'd hate to think they're just wandering the streets at night. we'll be right back. next. ♪ expected wait time: 55 minutes. your call is important to us. thank you for your patience. waiter! in the nation, we know how it feels when you aren't treated like a priority. we do things differently. we'll take care of it. we put members first... join the nation. thank you. ♪ nationwide is on your side
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guest is so hip, their backup band is tv on the radio. ladies and gentlemen, run the jewels! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ♪ a little toast for the no ones ♪ with a nod to the masters to the ones with the riches ♪ from the ones who the rags fit a little smoke for the gone boys ♪ a little nod to the spirits
♪ we're still here runnin' round screaming ♪ they're still here pointing and laughin' ♪ don't walk away when i talk i'm tellin' you ♪ turn around, mister i got a permanent bop ♪ who the hell do i think i am not ♪ and i'm twice as hot as about half of hell ♪ i get lighthouse lit up get down, diduck ♪ the boy got a barracuda bite you can tell ♪ got hope for the living got prayers for the dead ♪ in the sky got whiskey and rye ♪ for the voices in my head ♪ got kush for the pain 'cause the world is dangerous ♪ driven great men insane ♪ anchor themselves with angel dust ♪ somewhere between love and lust ♪ a nut get bust and a baby get made ♪ it seems that trouble trouble us ♪ and follow us like all our days ♪ in every holy book it says we suffer that's what it is ♪ so riddle me this from the womb to the tomb ♪ why do we fight to live ♪ a little toast for the no ones with a nod to the masters ♪ to the ones with the riches from the ones who the rags fit ♪ a little smoke for the gone boys ♪ a little nod to the spirits ♪ we're still here runnin' round
screaming ♪ they're still here pointing and laughin' ♪ got hope for the living got prayers for the dead ♪ in the sky got whiskey and rye ♪ for the voices in my head ♪ got kush for the pain 'cause the world is dangerous ♪ driven great men insane ♪ anchor themselves with with angel dust ♪ you say you wanna be my leader i think you wanna be my god ♪ you say you on the side of the righteous ♪ i say i'm gonna hang with the wrong ♪ there's truth where the filth is ♪ there's lies in the law ♪ you want a whore with a white dress ♪ i want a wife in a thong ♪ you love fear and division i ain't mess with your symbolism ♪ i don't give a [no audio] about power ♪ i'll pluck an eye out a pyramid ♪ cut a ear from a mouse hat go van gogh on a house rat ♪ find another mind to devour i'm really not hearin' it ♪ a pope is a fraud a church is a lie ♪ a queen is the same damn thing ♪ you should pray to your fake god that she die ♪ god really exists i tell you like this it reside inside ♪ and anybody tell you different, ♪ just selling you religion,
tryin' to keep your ass in line ♪ i kill my masters i mentor none ♪ that means when i die that's it ♪ my style is gone i'm a one of one ♪ one half of the great rtj ♪ defeated the odds went to war with the gods ♪ earned all our scars and came back straight ♪ a little toast for the no ones with a nod to the masters ♪ to the ones with the riches from the ones who the rags fit ♪ a little smoke for the gone boys ♪ a little nod to the spirits ♪ we're still here runnin' round screaming ♪ they're still here pointing and laughin' ♪ got hope for the living got prayers for the dead ♪ in the sky got whiskey and rye ♪ for the voices in my head ♪ got kush for the pain 'cause the world is dangerous ♪ driven great men insane ♪ anchor themselves with with angel dust tv on the radio ♪ angel dust, angel dust
captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: well, that's it for "the late show "for tonight. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be kevin spacey, carol burnett, willie nelson and john mellencamp. now stick around for the great james cordon. good night. ♪ are you ready all to have some fun and feel the love tonight don't you worry about the things you like because it'll