tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS January 10, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am PST
colbert is next. our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> join michelle griego for the latest. captioning sponsored by cbs >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes andrew garfield erin andrews and musical guest cage the elephant. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: good to see you! how are you? wooo!
what's going on, everybody? >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: good to see you, my friend. jon, what's up. good to see you. nice to see you. plooz, have a seat, you're too kind. you're too kind. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. sorry, what's this? what's this? oh, this? it's no big deal, just the clemson helmet given to me by south carolina governor nikki haley, and signed by clemson head coach dabo swinney. i wear it all the time. i wear it all the time. i usually take it out before i come out here. oh, hey, i just remembered, last night, clemson defeated alabama
to become college football's national champion! no big deal, national champion. and since i've got the helmet, i'm national champion, too. couldn't play last night because i had to do my show. i was very back-bench. and what a great game, real back-and-forth affair. did you see the game? incredible. first, one team has the ball and their guy was running, then the other team got the ball and their guy caught it. impossible to figure out who was going to win the game, because i was watching "big bang theory." but still, hell of a game. congratulations to all the players. you earned every penny last night. meanwhile, trump's transition is good for you. there you go. meanwhile, what's going on? trump's transition is still steaming along like a-- what's a big steaming thing? anyway, it's steaming is the important thing. anyway, something steaming it clears the pores, when you
put your face over it. today, the senate began confirmation hearings for attorney general nominee and keebler elf who escaped the tree, jeff sessions. these things can get pretty tense, but there were a few laughs. >> we're about to get an answer to the age-old question, "can you be confirmed attorney general of the united states over the objection of 1,400 law professors?" >> stephen: ha, ha, ha. it's funny because nothing matters. sessions' nomination has caused a little bit controversy because of accusations of racist talkie-talk. back in the '80s when his african american assistant attorney uponned
testified that sessions called him "boy" on multiple occasions, and he joked that he thought k.k.k. members were "ok, until he learned that they smoked marijuana." sessions admitted he said that back then, but he said he was joking and today addressed the white elephant in the room. >> let me address another issue straight on. i was accused in 1986, of failing to protect the voting rights of african american, by presenting the voter fraud case, and condemning civil rights advocates and organizations and even harboring, amazingly, sympathies for the k.k.p. these are false charges. i abhor the klan and what it represents, and its hateful ideology. >> stephen: another jeff sessions doesn't love the klan. well, i guess we're done here. everyone be careful not to trip over that extremely low bar as you're leaving the came ber. now, sessions' record raises
concerns for democrats, but it's going to be almost impossible for them to block him because he's too nice. that's just how politics works. andrew jackson that's just how politics works. was responsible for the trail of tears but remember when he ordered pizza for everybody? besides, every office-- even here-- every office has that one guy with some questionable views but you put up with it because he's so nice. we've got one here at "the late show,"" our accounts payable guy, andy. super sweet. >> sometimes i wonder if world war ii ended the right way. anybody else? ( laughter ) oh, come on! tell me you don't think hunting old people on a desert island would be a ton of fun. i'm sorry, i'm going on and on. how's your family doing? have a nice weekend.
remember, just because women can legally vote doesn't mean they should. >> stephen: solid guy. super solid guy. the point is, i don't care how nice scissions is. i just don't think that jeff sessions is qualified for the job. >> my question is very simple. is grabbing a woman by her genitals without consent, is that sexual assault? >> yes. >> stephen: i like him. >> well, what else is going on with the trump people? oh, the rumor i told you about last night is official-- donald trump's son-in-law, jared kushner, will be named senior adviser to the president. now, in fairness-- comnow, come on. give him a shot here. in fairness to kushner, his qualifications go well beyond being donald trump's son-in-law. he's also married to donald trump's daughter. now, a lot of people are saying that this violates the 1967 federal antinepotism statute,
which prohibits public officials from appointing relatives to a civilian position in the agency over which he exercises control. but trump's folks say there is no conflict because, "a," the white house is not an agency. and, "b," donald trump has never exercises control. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ i like that. that was very nice. >> jon: it's trump music. yeah. >> stephen: that's the donald trump music? >> jon: yeah, that's the trump train. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: sounds like we're going off a hill and we jump off the top when we get there. >> jon: that's right, that's right. >> stephen: just like her father-in-law, mr. kushner will not take a salary. and just like his father-in-law, i really wish he would. i want a guy in there who needs the gig, not someone who sees running the country as a hobby,
a way to meet people, like i'm run the country instead of joining an adult kickball league. now, trump needs to hire a lot of people, because unlike previous transitions, trump is getting rid of all of obama hires immediately, everybody is fired, whether he has replacements for them or not. and this is true. he's even getting rid of the people in charge of maintaining our nuclear arsenal. yep, they're leaving our nuclear weapons "home alone." yes, it's a great new movie about a young member of isis out to steal our weapons-grade plutonium. i believe we have a clip. >> excuse me. where do they store the nukes? >> down the hall and to the left. >> stephen: it should be fine. it should be fine. ♪ ♪ >> jon: fly away! >> stephen: here's the thing-- the people of the national nuclear security
administration-- who, again, guard our nuclear stockpile-- legally can only follow orders from the two officers who just got fired. what are they gonna do now, outsource it to a task rabbit? set up a "take a nuke leave a nuke" tray? so while this might be cause for concern, one nuclear official had some words of calm for a troubled nation: "i'm more and more coming around to the idea that we're so very, very (bleep)." ( laughter ) but on the bright side, if the world ends, trump will be a one-term president. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) what else is going on? how about some less-disturbing news, okay. here's one. there's a new biography of margaret wise brown. you know the children's classic, "good night moon." she's the lady who wrote that.
i'm only halfway through the book. don't tell me what happens to the bowl full of mush. why brown's biography is getting some headlines, because apparently she had a pretty wildlife, including long-term affairs with a marry married man and marry's woman. there are rumors that dr. seuss had a kink where he liked to be slurfed with a durf in his glurf. right up the glurf. legally, i can't show a glurf on cbs. but i think we all know what the glurf is. you know what a glurf is. you're an adult. >> jon: uh-huh. yup. >> stephen: that's how they make babies in whoville. >> jon: oh, that's right. >> stephen: they stick it up
your whereville. just trying to keep it light before the world ends. just trying to keep it light before they take our nukes. i'm just trying to keep it light. another big revelation-- brown told a reporter, "i don't especially like children." no surprise there. after all, she let a child sleep in a room with an unattended fire. but the biggest surprise is that the characters in "goodnight moon" are bunnies. and according this biography, brown was an avid rabbit hunter, which explains why the old lady was whispering "hush." margaret wise brown was headed over with a shotgun! shut your mouth or it's "goodnight, everybody!" ( laughter ) ( applause ) well, in light of these revelations, we at "the late show" have acquired an early draft of "goodnight moon" that reflects margaret wise brown's lifestyle when she wrote it.
here we go. everybody get comfy. in the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon. i called my married lovers. they'll be here soon. the kid's fast asleep. i made him go hush by putting some ambien in the dinner mush. ( laughter ) goodnight mittens. goodnight toy house. hello lovers who have a spouse. ( laughter ) >> jon: oh! oh! ( applause ). >> stephen: i'm not sure what's going on here. goodnight you, goodnight me. please, leave this out of my biography." we've got a great show for you tonight. andrew garfield is here.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is a golden globe and tony-nominated actor who scaled walls in "spiderman," patched up american g.i.as in "hacksaw ridge," and now plays a jesuit priest in martin scorsese's "silence." please welcome andrew garfield.
( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: wow! you nailed the landing! >> i don't know what you're talking about. how you have been? >> very good. very happy to be here. i love this show. i love what you're doing. you're voicing everyone's concerns and you're keeping us light, and i'm very, very grateful. >> stephen: thank you very much. >> you're reflecting a lot of the horror that i'm feeling in my heart and body, and i appreciate that as well. >> stephen: thank you. i have enormous affection for you right now for some reason. thank you very much congratulations on this amazing year of yours, between "silence" and "hacksaw ridge," you turned in two of the most powerful performances of the year. you were nominated for a golden globe. you didn't win. i'm sorry about that. >> thank you for bringing that up. >> stephen: you also had one of the most memorable moments. you kind of stole-- ( cheers ) you kind of stole-- stole focus because you were sitting there with ryan reynolds and, he was
up against ryan gosling. >> yes. >> stephen: you know, for the golden globe, and this is what happened when ryan gosling won. this is what happened between you and ryan reynolds. there you go and... ( cheers and applause ) what happened-- what happened-- what's going on there gijust wanted ryan ton i loved him, no matter whether he won or lost. >> stephen: that's very supportive. >> it doesn't matter. it's how you play the game. he showed up and it distribute change anything in my heart displu love him just as much. >> yes. >> stephen: and you're very comfortable with kissing other men. >> i don't even understand the question. >> stephen: me, either, me, either. not everybody is, but i'm totally comfortable with it, too. i just want to you know that at any point-- >> all right. ( cheers and applause )
( cheers and applause ) ( cheers ) >> stephen: what were we talking about? ( laughter ) ( applause ) so, you're-- ( laughter ) you're a very gentle lover. i'm start with that. you're nominated-- you were nominated for "hacksaw ridge." >> yes. >> stephen: and-- and you turned in an incredible performance in "silence." these are both men of deep faith. were you raised with any particular deep faith of your own? >> i wasn't, actually, strangely enough. i was raised very open. i was given a lot of-- you know, it was really -- >> like a freerange chick jean yeah. took the words right now the of
my mouth. you know, it's a weird thing. one of my heroes growing up was mahatma gandhi. that's a weird thing to have as a hero when you're seven, when you're seven or eight. >> stephen: because you wouldn't eat your vegetables and you were like, "mom, i'm like gawnda." why gandhi when you were seven? >> i can't remember how it happened. i remember being very young and going to school for the first time and seeing the playground bully and not really understanding why he was the way he was. and my first impulse was to-- to hug him and kind of tell him, "it's all right. you don't have to behave this we." >> stephen: at seven? >> i don't eye don't understand. it was something-- i think it's my mother's fault. she taught me about unconditional love, and she taught me about hurt people hurt people. people who are hurt, hurt people. hurt other people. am i explaining this? >> stephen: i was with you the first time. >> okay, fine. >> stephen: no, i get it. it's simple but deep. >> yeah, very deep.
and it kind of-- i really owe it to my wonderful mother, lipgarfield. and there was something about gandhi that him and my mother were my heroes growing up, in that regard. but then, of course, i became this bully's target because i saw him very, very deeply. and he understood-- >> stephen: did you hug him? >> oh, yeah. i would protect him from bigger bullies. you know, i was the one that was protecting him and explaining to the bigger bullies, you don't understand, he's just deeply damaged by his-- his mother's abandonmentment of him, and his dad doesn't know what he's doing and he drifngzs-- whatever it was. >> stephen: was there any benefit to this behavior of yours? did he still pick on you? >> oh, yeah, more and more because of it. and i for some reason kept on protecting him. this is bizarre topic on an unhealthy relationship like our relationship with our future president. >> stephen: that's sacrificial. that's very christ-like of you. >> well... yes-- no, no, please.
it was a bit foolish as well. but i mean, yeah, i don't know. >> stephen: "call no man fool." >> what about yourself? can you call yourself a fool. >> stephen: a fool for christ, i suppose. ( laughter ) we have to take a little break, but we'll be right back with more can andrew garfield, stick around. "when the ship comes in" by the hollies ♪ oh the fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path ♪
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( laughter ). >> and he plays himself in the film. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. he's that good. >> that good and -- >> did you have to study-- did you study to be's jesuit? >> i studied with a mutual friend of ours, father james mart glin he was the chaplain of colbert nation. >> and someone i love as dearly as you seem to. i studied with him for a year and i went through the nation spiritual exercise s. >> stephen: what do you do? i never actually study with a jesuit. what do you have to do. what do you do to get ready for it? >> you know, not only do we study the theology and the history of the society of jesus, but there's these processes called the spiritual exercises that st. ignatius created when he founded the order. and it's kind of the basis for all 12-step programs around the world, a.a. being the first. and it's this transformational process where you do the
imaginative, meditative prayers with the life of jesus, where you place yourself in each scene, much like being an actor. i found out stanislav ski who invented modern acting was deeply inspired by st. ignatius' spiritual exercises so i felt kind of right at home and it's this very weird thing where you create a very deep relationship with jesus christ. and i didn't know much about jesus. i hadn't really studied the bible. as i said, i'm kind of an agnostic, but i discovered the jesuits themselves are incredibly pantheists. >> stephen: like zeus and those people. like paying ans? >> no, no, i would never-- don't get me in trouble with father martin. it's how i hear that is finding god in all things. finding god in every single human being, meaning finding love in every single human being, finding possibility in
every single human being, finding in the tree cut down to make this table-- you know, suddenly everything becomes a miracle. i love that. i think it's a wonderful way to see the world air, beautiful way to see the world. ( applause ). >> stephen: these two jez wits are deeply tested. these two jesuits who you and adam driver play their faith is deeply tested because they're captured by the japanese, trying to rid japan of christians at the time. and we have a scene here of the two of you trying to figure out what to do now that you're being tested. how do you continue? jim? >> we don't even know if father ferreira is alive or dead. the villagers never even heard of him. these people are so frightened. it's fear, and lice. >> they have us. we comfort them. >> how much longer can we do that? >> we asked for this mission, we prayed under in the exercises.
god heard us then and he hears us now. >> may he guide us to ferreira so we can know the truth. ( applause ) >> stephen: now, what people may notice in that is you guys both lovely a ton of weight, you lost a ton of weight for that. how much did you lose? >> i lost 40 pounds-ish. and i'm a skinny guy anyway. >> stephen: adam driver said he lost 50 wins. >> he wins, he won. >> stephen: he's 10 pounds better actor. how did you lose 40 pounds? >> goodness, you just kind of don't eat. >> stephen: that will do it. >> and get angry, get very, very angry at everything around you. that's pretty much the process. >> stephen: does the not eating make you angry. >> >> stephen: has anyone gone through a fast. >> it's a beautiful spiritual process, because the idea is you empty out so all of the spirits can enter. and, my goodness, i was empty, and it was-- it was brutal. you know, we would kind of be
sneaking blueberries and almonds in between takes. a little bit of cheat displg you did a week of silence, right? >> silent retreat. myself and adam together. we didn't know each other very well at that point. and he kind of arrived two days after me, and we kind of waved to each other. >> stephen: what do you do on a silent retreat? is there a lot of mime? like aaah! i'm sad. heartbroken. heartbroken. what's the first thing you said to each other when you could first-- like, after a week, when you haven't been able to talk and you haven't really met before, what's the first thing you said to each other? >> we had these seven days and it was so full of this kind of, you know, divine attempt to pray and to meditate and to get close to those deep inner voices and the spiritual kind of exploration we were doing. and i think we got into the car, and it was as if the devil in both of us said where the
(bleep) have you been? because we just had the most disgusting, dirty, awful, dark conversation for three hours on the way to the airport. because we had, had-- it was like-- it was like the devil felt so left out of the last seven days that he just came and made us say the worst, like nasty-- i can't even remember. i've, like, blocked it out. we just-- we went to the darkest place for about three hours. >> stephen: did you talk about any of this stuff with mel gibson, by the way? >> yes. >> stephen: we had mel on here and he believes the devil is real and around us and fighting all the time. do you believe in any of that stuff? >> i believe in that as metaphor. i believe in as energy. i believe in it as our better angels. absolutely. and also, to be honest, certainty, certainty about anything is the most terrifying thing to me. >> stephen: what do you mean certainty is terrifying? >> certainty is terrifying? >> stephen: yes. >> i mean --
>> if you know there was an afterlife, would that be comforting or terrifying? >> how would i ever know. >> stephen: i don't know. >> but, what i mean is -- >> a visitation from an angel. thiewbt? >> sure, but i would question it. you think about thomas martin, the great trappist monk and philosopher, really. his doubt was his greatest ally. he was always constantly doubting. i think a life of faith is not a life of certainty. a life of faith is a life of doubt. and i think it is so healthy to doubt. it is so health tow doubt oneself, it is so healthy to doubt any assumption we make about how to live. and i think-- what i mean when i say certainty scares me, certainty starts war. certainty starts war on behalf of ideology. certainty, "i know and you don't." that's the scariest thing to me. and what a human being is capable of doing. ( applause ). >> stephen: andrew, thank you so much for being here.
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i want that. who's next? i'm next. after her. after him. the cma certification. you've got to earn it. ( applause ). >> stephen: thank you, jon. hey, everybody. my next guest is the lead sideline reporter for fox nfl and co-hosts abc's "dancing with the stars." please welcome erin andrews! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪ ♪ >> hey! i mean, if this dress opened up-- are we going to make out. >> stephen: what? >> huh. >> stephen: i'm in a relationship right now. >> you are?
we all just saw. >> stephen: i'm flattered. >> how did that go? did you do a little listerine before or a check? >> stephen: just went for it, baby. a little more open mouthed than i expected. but i gotta say a-plus. i love-- this is a beautiful dress. >> thank you. i'm, like, holding it together as i'm sitting. hello! thanks, i think-- yeah, they're bugs, right? >> stephen: they're very pretty. >> well, thank you. nice to meet you, by the way. it's crazy i've never met you before. do you not like to be touched? >> stephen: i love to be touched. >> sorry. >> stephen: but if you touch me, i get very quiet. >> oh, okay. >> stephen: i'll show you. i'll keep talking, you touch me, while i'm talking-- >> sorry! >> stephen: this might be-- this might be my favorite shoval time. >> mine, too. >> stephen: so you're a sideline reporter. were you surprised clemson beat alabama last night? >> first of all, i was bummed
out. i didn't get to stay up and watch it. oifs a morning show. people wake up early for that business, huh? but i saw the highlights as soon as i woke up. i went to the university of florida. i know they said you don't know much about football? >> stephen: i know everything about football. ask can me anything about football. >> and alabama, i'm a huge nick sabein fan, he's the head coach of alabama and i told nick sabein when i have my first born it's going to be like "lion king" circle of life. i'm going to give birth to my child and pass him on to nick sabein, raise my kid, win a heisman trophy and go to the n.f.l. how is it that sound? >> stephen: no pressure. >> you're going to hear the "lion king" music. >> stephen: have you played sports? >> i didn't. i watched all the games with my dad and learned all about it. >> stephen: you were sideline at the giants-packers game.
>> this past weekend. >> stephen: at lambeau field. >> it felt like the studio. >> stephen: it's chilly. you don't have 500 pounds of blubber as a linebacker to protect you and i assume you weren't qairing that dangerous dres. what's that like? can you do your best job as a reporter if you can't move your mouth? >> i was wrapped up like from "christmas story" randy, "i can't move my arms now!" do you love this? >> stephen: i do,. >> thank you. i hoped the got that one, too. >> stephen: i have cult caneral references! i'm an american! go ahead, go ahead. >> no, but the biggest factor for me it's not even like you're freezing, it's the constant runnage of the nose. and i just feel like you don't even you're talking to a player and you've just got the snot coming down, so that hail mary... ( sniffs ). >> stephen: it humanizes you. >> it's special, i have to tell you. >> stephen: a lot of criticism from the giants about having the
boat trip. >> didn't hear a thing about it. >> stephen: do you think any of that criticism is legitimate, that they should not have taken the day off? >> this is my thing. they're grown men. thane what they're doing. my only question about it was-- i didn't-- listen, justin beeb ei didn't know the street cred was that high for them. i want to hang with boons bonsa. >> stephen: they were on bieber's boat. >> yeah. >> stephen: listen, you go with the boat you can get, not necessarily the boat you necessarily want. i don't know if beyonce's boat was in the harbor. >> that's a good point. where's your boat. how's your boat. >> stephen: i've got a skiff, 12 feet long, it's wood. you paddle it. do you have a boat? >> not as big as yours. >> stephen: do you actually have a boat? >> no! >> stephen: you have to get a boat. >> i grew up in florida but no boat. >> stephen: how do you get around in florida. soon you'll need a boat to get
anywhere. are you sick of hearing players say the same thing on the sidelines all the time. they always say, "give 110%." >> that's liewcialee in the interview, but from where i'm standing on the sidelines you hear the craziest things you could imagine. i wish i could report -- >> why can't you report on them? >> the n.f.l. doesn't allow you. you can paraphrase. nick asked me, your producer. you do paraphrase -- >> what do you mean "paraphrase?" if you hear two players talking and you think that's news-- >> >> "get your head out of your rear end. you have to start catching these balls. what's wrong with you?" i cannot say, "i heard so-and-so say this to so-and-so." i have to say, "so-and-so was unhappy his wide receiver was unable to catch a few balls." you have to paraphrase. >> stephen: what would nap you say? >> i don't think the n.f.l. would like it.
it's a rule as a sideline reporter. i cannot can repeat verbatim what they said. >> stephen: are you afraid you will get hit by one of the guys? >> it's another thing you really have to be serious about because they're coming or sometimes i'm writing my notes or texting, and all of a sudden they're like, "look out!" i've been nailed in the face by a baseball before at a mets game. it was no joke, hit off my face, went in the stands. and a little kid was like, "you can sign my ball?" and i was like, i hate you. >> stephen: i got hit by a line drive foul ball once, and it bounced off my face and the guy next to me caught it. >> the guy behind me got it, and the security guard in front of me crouched down and i got nailed. >> stephen: the security guard crouched down. >> i was so upset. and my poor dad heard about it and called me and i didn't cry and i was fine. baseball trainers and players were coming up and asking me, and i said, "i'm fine." and all of a sudden my dad
called and i said, "i think i broke my chin." >> stephen: you also have another job, for the last couple of years, cohost of-- of-- "so you think you can dance." >> no, "dancing with the stars." are you insane! >> stephen: there's both dancing. >> umm... but we only have one bruno. are you joking? do we get to redo this? >> stephen: do we get to redo it? i'll tell you what. i'll tell you what, i'll redo it but i'll leave in my (bleep) up. >> yeah! >> stephen: let's try this again. so you're-- you're also cohost of "dancing with the stars." >> i am, yeah. >> stephen: do you think you can dance? >> i did that show, actually. i did! ( laughter ). >> stephen: i'm just (bleep) with you. >> why are you laughing you? know it's not funny. stop making him feel better. is this mine our your s. >> stephen: let's find out. it's yours. y promise you, it's yours. you know something the rest of us need to know is rick perry
was a contestant, and rick perry is going to be the new stct of energy. >> right. >> stephen: does anything from his performance lead you to believe he will be a great cabinet member? >> he did not have much energy on our show. >> stephen: i beg to differ. jim, can we show rick perry dancing? ♪ ♪ that just instills confidence! that's a cabinet member! that guy is in line to be president now. >> that's one of those performances you sit back and you say, "bless his heart." it was so nice he came out and tried to be a part of our family. >> stephen: tell me what orangetheory is. >> it's a workout that i do and i would love all of you to try it and every single one of you here could go to our over 550 studios in the united states. it's strength training. it's card vascal. it's changed my life. why don't you come with me,
tomorrow? >> stephen: absolutely! as far as anyone knows, i accept! >> thanks! check out "orangetheory fitness" in a city near you. you can catch erin andrews on fox. we'll be right back with a performance by cage the elephant. new girl, huh? yeah, i'm -- i couldn't help but notice you checking out my name your price tool. yeah, this bad boy gives you coverage options based on your budget. -oh -- -oh, not so fast, tadpole. you have to learn to swim first. claire, here's your name your price tool. -oh, thanks, flo. -mm-hmm. jamie, don't forget to clean the fridge when you're done. she seems nice. she seems nice. [ door closes ] she's actually pretty nice. oh. yeah.
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>> stephen: and now, performing "cold cold cold" from their grammy-nominated rock album, "tell me i'm pretty," ladies and gentlemen, cage the elephant! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ doctor look into my eyes i've been breathing air ♪ but there's no sign of life doctor the problem's in my chest ♪ my heart feels cold as ice
but it's anybody's guess ♪ doctor can you help me cause i don't feel right ♪ better make it fast before i change my mind ♪ doctor can you help me cause i don't feel right ♪ better make it fast before i change my mind ♪ well it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪ darker in the day than the dead of night ♪ cold, cold, cold, cold inside doctor can you help me ♪ cause something don't feel right ♪ something don't feel right ♪ sweet nurse don't look at me that way ♪ i've seen those eyes before i can tell you want to play
♪ counselor give me some advice tell me how hard will i fall ♪ if i live a double life doctor can you help me ♪ cause i don't feel right better make it fast ♪ before i change my mind doctor can you help me ♪ cause i don't feel right better make it fast ♪ because there ain't much time ♪ well it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪ darker in the day than the dead of night ♪ cold, cold, cold, cold inside doctor can you help me ♪ cause something don't feel right ♪ something don't feel right, something just ain't right ♪ and as the darkness falls it fills up both my eyes
♪ my life before me like a flash in the night ♪ with my arms open wide ♪ ♪ ♪ well it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪ cold, cold, cold, cold inside cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪ doctor can you help me cause something don't feel right ♪ something don't feel right, something just ain't right ( cheers and applause )
now stick around for james corden and his guests, mark wahlberg, jeremy renner, and joel edgerton. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where you come from it's gonna be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from berlin