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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 14, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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the weather, the traffic, everything to start your day. lit be wednesday. you will be happy. you will love it. it will be beautiful. >> goodnight. captioning sponsored by cbs >> if i live to be 100, i'll never forget the big snowstorm that hit last night. the weather closed in and, well, you might not believe it, but the world almost missed "the late show" with stephen colbert." but thanks to the brave "late show" staff the show went on the air as scheduled so all the good boys and good girls could stay up late and watch the-- oh, no! the salt truck! no! it burns! it burns!
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my brood is on your hands, cbs! >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes neil degrasse tyson and todd barry. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey! theer( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. thanks, everybody. welcome to "the late show,,"
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everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. these people are incredible. these people are here through an absolutely terrible, terrible day out there. they went through hell to be here tonight,un. i'm so proud of you people. ( cheers and applause ) i wasn't going to do a good show tonight, but i think i might do a good show because these people put some effort into it. i hope everybody is all right. everybody is safe and warm in here, nobody lost anything to frostbite, nothing, you know, important snapped off, like a graham cracker. and everybody at home, too. here in new york, as i said, we got slammed, the biggest snowfall of the season from what the weather channel is calling winter storm steal and i'm calling winter storm crazy balls, okay. because these people waited outside to see the show, and i absolute their crazy balls. ( cheers and applause )
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by the way, i also want to salute my staff and crew for being here today to do the show. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: thank you all. >> stephen: you know, it could have been worse. it could have been a worse kay. we were supposed to get up to two feet of snow, but it turned to sleet early-- just cold and brittle, right in your face. it reminded me of kellyanne conway. ( cheers and applause ) just cold, right in the face. right in-- >> jon: itin the eye! >> stephen: it got so bad today, someone in times square cut open an elbow and climbed inside for warm ppght but he's fine. i'm sure he's fine. no letters, please. but people here are finding ways to keep busy and get busy, because new yorkers are flocking to the craigslist
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looking for a blizzard buddy. you know, a blizzard buddy. somebody to come over for a little netflix and windchill. it could be fun. there's a lot of cleanup to be done, but the private sector has stepped up to help. one adult video website can i say the name of the website? i can't say the name of the website? legally can't say or cbs does not want me to say it? does not want me to say it. let's say it's a porn site that has a lot of choices. it's sort of like a hub-- it's like a hub-- it's a hub where there-- anyway, this unnamed company announced it would donate snow removal services to several cities in the northeast because it wants to "plow boston." very generous. very, very generous. i'm not sure i trust the porn industry with city services. i mean, these people can barely deliver a pizza.
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( laughter ) but if this works out, maybe porn companies can take over other government functions, because like the trump administration, they feature real, live amateurs. ( cheers and applause ) what else? and despite 5,000 flights being grounded today, nbc's tom costello went to the airport for this in-depth report. >> there isn't anybody here! there aren't any planes here! ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: thank you, tom, for that report from no-(bleep)-istan. that took me by surprise. but that guy, tom, had it easy, compared to most of his colleagues. >> you can see the snow and the sleet is really coming down hard right now. >> we are just getting socked
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with snow. >> it is about as miserable is it can get right now. >> >> the wind pounding in your face. >> of course it feels pretty awful out here i have to tell you. >> stephen: yes, you do have to tell me, because i stayed inside. well, "the late show" will not be outstormed. so here from our award-winning "standing outside team" is brian stack. brian, how is it going out there, my man? >> it's really bad, stephen. it's cold, very windy, with sharp ice crystals being hurled by the wind into my face. >> stephen: that sounds really bad. >> it is bad, stephen. can i please come back in? >> stephen: not yet, brian. we need you out there to tell us how bad the weather is. >> can't you just look out the window? >> stephen: no windows in the studio, brian. you are our eyes and ears. >> well, my eyes are stinging and ears are going to snap off, stephen. i can please come back in! i'm not a meteorologist!
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>> stephen: no, brian. you've got to stay out there. the public needs to know they made a good decision to stay indoors. >> for the love of god, have mercy! is this about the yogurt i took out out of the fridge? i thought it was for everybody. >> stephen: it said deb's yogurt, brian, ok? is your name deb? >> she doesn't even work here anymore. >> stephen: rules are rules, brian. i'm sorry. >> stephen, i hear wolves. >> stephen: maybe the wolves will have some yogurt for you, brian. we'll get back to you later if the storm worsens. >> it could get worse?!! oh, god. they're coming. i can see their eyes! >> stephen: brian stack, everybody! >> they're mesmerizing. >> stephen: brian stack. ( cheers and applause ) he'll be fine, right? he's going to be fine. he'll be fine. he's tough. he can take a lot of punishment. yesterday, the congressional budget office-- is that what it's called-- c.b.o.e., did i get that right, the congressional budget office, the three most boring words in the english language
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the c.b.o. released their analysis of the republican healthcare plan, and they say the number of people losing coverage is 24 million. >> audience: boo! >> stephen: to put that into perspective, look to the person on your right. now look to the person on your left. now do that 12 million mor >> one person who likes the plan is paul ryan. >> i'm pretty excited about it. it actually exceeded my expectation. >> stephen: really, 24 million people losing their health care exceeded your expectations? you sound like the most optimistic die in the donner party. everything is great. i expected to eat my grandma miles ago. if you excuse me, i've got to go salt my cousin. ( cheers and applause ) one supporter of the bill, oregon representative greg walden, argued that the
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c.b.o.e.'s score was incomplete, because it does not include parts of the g.o.p. plan not included in the bill. yeah, that's not fair. when they analyzed the bill, they didn't consider stuff wasn't in there. could be anything-- health savings accounts, nougat, a unicorn that gives prostate exams. ( laughter ) very unpleasant. i wanted to paint a picture for you. and paul ryan's headache is just beginning because brietbart has leaked an audio of ryan on a conference call last october, and he had some strong words about standing up to trump. >> stephen: adding, "by future, i mean between now and the election. after that, i'm going to fold like a trump casino." ( cheers and applause )
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it's a different metaphor. paul ryan's people are trying to downplay this, saying, "obviously a lot has happened since then." yes, a lot has happened since then. even in the field of medicine. for instance, paul ryan underwent major surgery to have his sack removed. ( laughter ) >> jon: oh! >> stephen: yeah, yeah. oooh! oooh. is ray low note he can no longer hit. ( laughter ) woooo! can i get a note on that? ♪ ♪ thank you. so why would breitbart, a far-right website, go after paul ryan at this vulnerable time? well, it turns out, they they think the new health care plan isn't conservative enough because it "does not repeal obamacare." yeah, 24 million people losing health insurance doesn't go far enough. they want health care as the
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founders intended: dying at 35 of scrivner's dropsy. have you heard about the latest trump administration revelation? there had been a lot of them. put butt this is an interesting one it came out last night that tillersonuteed an email alias while he was c.e.o. of exxon to discuss climate change on the sly in the trump administration you can be a sexist or white supremacist, but you want to keep your science talk on the d.l. >> jon: keep it low. >> stephen: the best part story-- ( applause ) the best part story was that instead of using the name rex tillerson in these climate science emails, he used an alias, and the alias was wayne tracker.
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( laughter ) wayne tracker, which actually sounds less like a made-up cowboy name than rex tillerson. ( laughter ) i don't think he should be allowed two cool-sounding manly names. if you're born rex tillerson, your alias should have to be something not manly like mel dampler or humbert knucklebutt now, do not google knuckle butt, by the way. now, exxon-mobil says that the wayne tracker email wasn't used to hide climate change discussions. well, of course not. wayne tracker is a great name for your sexy novel about emailing cowboys. in fact, i happen to have a copy of that book. "the adventures of wayne tracker," written by flex drillerson. here we go. >> jon: all right, reporter, all right! ( cheers and applause ) all right!
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♪ ♪ ( laughter ) >> stephen: we didn't have a guitar in rehearsal. "get on the horse, now!" wayne tracker called. and jessie-anne slipped her soft hand into his calloused one. with a grunt, he heaved her onto the horse just as the water started barrelling down the canyon at them. "is the creek flooded?" asked jessie-ann, as her arms encircled his strong, rippling torso. "no, it's rising sea levels due to an increase in co-2 in the atmosphere melting the ice caps," he smoldered, adding, "but please don't tell anybody i said that." then they did it right there on the horse. ( laughter ) ( applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight. neil degrasse tyson is here! and when we return, i'll have the latest proclamations from a big furry hat.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome back, everybody. give it up for jon batiste and stay human right there. ( cheers ) jon, did you have any trouble getting to work today? >> jon: no, no. >> stephen: everybody in the band is here. >> jon: i know. we made it. >> stephen:esh is here. the staff is here. everybody out there is here. it's amazing. ( cheers and applause ) this is-- nobody stops. nobody stops this show. it's a juggernaut. it's a juggernaut. >> jon: that's right, uh-huh.
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( laughter ) >> stephen: that's the right word, right, juggernaut? sure, why mott. as the host of a talk show, i wield enormous power. but as powerful as i am, there are those even more powerful than i. history's most merciless despots, like genghis khan vladimir putin, and angelina jolie. all of us have one thing in common: a vial of billy bob thornton's blood, and a big furry hat! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause )
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now that this hat is upon my head, any and all proclamations i make are now and forever law. let us begin. from now on, i'm allowed to use my phone in superhero movies to look up who everyone is and why they're so mad at each other. ( applause ) henceforth, the reality show "shark tank" must introduce at least one actual shark. ( applause ) i hereby declare millennials must stop romanticizing listening to records. i would've killed to have free music come out of my rotary phone. ( applau ) henceforth, any wedding deejay
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that doesn't play "celebration" by kool and the gang shall be given a congressional medal of honor. ( laughter ) ( applause ) if i sweat while eating it, it counts as excercise. ( laughter ) ( applause ) anyone who gets called in for jury duty gets to shout "objection!" at least once. otherwise, what are we doing there? ( laughter ) ( applause ) all fast food restaurants that make me wait more than three minutes must be renamed "food made by liars." ( laughter ) ( applause ) from this day forward, the next kevin james television program must feature a wife who is age-appropriate. ( applause ) henceforth, libraries may no
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longer charge for overdue books. they should be paying us to still go to a library. ( laughter ) ( applause ) youtube must stop putting ads in front of movie trailers, which are already commercials. ( applause ) let it be written that if you take your phone out while using a urinal, you better be livestreaming your live stream. ( laughter ) ( applause ) if the weather channel gets to name storms, we get to rename the weather channel. from now on it shall be called: "grandpa's snoozin' screen." ( laughter ) ( applause )
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from this moment on, any meal delivery app that send ingredients you must cook yourself shall be called "ikea for your stomach." ( laughter ) ( applause ) let it be known if you are driving a prius, an "i support npr" bumper sticker is redundant. we know. ( laughter ) ( applause ) henceforth, the drugstore must also have an aisle for male sanitary products. for men, too, wish to have that fresh feeling. ( laughter ) ( applause ) the hat has spoken! we'll be right back with neil degrasse tyson. ,,,,,,,,
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( band playing ) ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause )
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dlr >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, if i could pick one guest to get snowed in with, it would be this guy. please welcome the director of the hayden planetarium at the american museum of natural history, neil degrasse tyson! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> how are you, man? it's beautiful. >> stephen: can we get a shot of that, jim? >> i love what you've done with the place. you've got the moon over there, the planets. >> stephen, of course,, of course. anything for neil tyson. >> happy pi day. that is today! march 143.14 there's more going.
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>> stephen: 9. >> 2. q. 6.>> 5, 3. i don't know. my son is much better at it than i am. >> stephen: kids are always-- they've got the memories. they've got the memories. >> he got 61 decimal places. in the big picture that's not even very much. he's 16 now, but he had that from age 11. >> stephen: wow. >> yeah. >> stephen: but in the big picture of pi, everything is small because it's infinite, right? >> it's infinite. but i think the force is strong with him, yeah. >> stephen: another all right. >> he's got pi digits coming. >> stephen: well listen, you know, i have said many times before that you're my favorite guest. >> well thank you, thank you. >> stephen: and you have cemented-- you have cemented that position tonight by showing up in this snowstorm. >> yeah, well, it's just snow. i mean -- >> stephen: it's just snow. >> that's palm it's just crystallized water. i mean, so what? >> stephen: i know how snow works. i'm not the director of the hayden planetarium, but i know how snow works. >> people just freak out, like, it's just snow.
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>> stephen: it's cold! it's uncomfortable! >> so what? ( laughter ). >> stephen: well, okay, now, listen, this is our weather today in new york city. >> yes. >> stephen: do other planets have snow or is that unique to earth? >> well, there's plenty of weather on other planets but not quite snow. like on mars, mars has polar ice caps that grow and shrink. mars has seasons, like earth does. it rotates once about every 24 hours. it's tilted on its axis. it goes through northern hemisphere, summer and winter. and the caps-- the polar will grow and then shrink, and it's made of carbon dioxide. it will transfer carbon dioxide from one pole to the other. >> stephen: it's dry ice. >> it's simply dry ice. >> stephen: on halloween that must be so spoongy. >> you get that. and that's the only place. there's a moon of saturn, called selenous. >> stephen: that's one of my faves. the phot rose really fantastic. >> there, there is heat down
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under. but it's not like volcanic heat. it doesn't have to be. you just need enough meet heatto make something evaporate. and you have water there, under the surface -- >> stephen: liquid water. >> liquid water that bursts forth, and you have geysers. but that's not the fun part. the fun part is the moment the water hits the low-pressure air, atmosphere, it freeze instantly. it's a geyser hurling ice chunks, basically. and not only that. it spiewz forth with enough speed to escape the moon, and it has made a ring around saturn which we call the e-ring. it feeds the ring system of saturn. it's beautiful. >> stephen: that is beautiful. that is beautiful. >> oh, yeah. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: that's almost-- you made that almost sound sex, neil tyson. >> and not to mention the big red spot on jupiter, which is an anticyclone has been going at least 300 years. the cyclone itself is bigger than earth. so earth weather is nothing
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compared torg planets. i'm just saying. >> stephen: all right, all right. let's talk about other planets not nonour system. people, including mierkz got very excite bade month ago it was announced that there are seven earth-sized planets around a star named trappist one, about 40 light-years away. >> about 40. >> stephen: how excited should we be? there are 70s planet, three in the goldilocks zone, not too hot, not too cold, just right. >> not crystal. what's beautiful is we've known about exo planets since 1995, the first one was discovered. i'm trying to start a movement where anyone born since 1995, we shall deem generation exoplanet because they've only known life with-- at a time when we know of other planets. so since then, we now have more than 3,000 in the catalog. so why should a few more matter? there are seven orbiting one star. it's the biggest star system we've found in three-- it's
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goldie lock s. >> stephen: and not that far away from us. >> 40 light-years. you're still not going there, but it's close. >> stephen: that's in the neighborhood. >> it's in the 'hood, yeah. definitely in the 'needhood. it's there. there's a problem. these plan rets working very close to their host star. it's not a hot star. so you can get really close. these stars are so close they're tiedally locked. we have tideally locked our moon, and our moon only shows the same face to us. they are tideally locked by their host star. they only show one face to the host star. that side will be too holt to live in and the other side will be too cold. if you look for life it there, life as we know it, it would have to be along the edge. >> stephen: a ring of shadows? >> and you need like rotisserie homes so you can average out the cold and the hot to be the temperature you need. >> stephen: sure. just get a home where you just set it and forget it. >> it will be interesting
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science fiction novel to explore that-- that frontier. >> stephen: another set me straight on this. it was-- this was about this time last year, it was announced that there was likely an exoplanet around pox muscenaary. >> we've all heard of alpha centauri. that's a star system -- >> stephen: have we all heard of that? >> alpha centauri. of course, of course. >> stephen: sure. >> so you've got in that star system, the star that is closest among them to our sun is called proxima. and thatta han earth-like planet orbiting in its habitable zone, its goldie lock zone. the fastest spaceships we've ever made, if you straddle them and we aimed you in that direction, it would still take you 70,000 years to get there. so the closest star system is far beyond anything our human physiology -- >> stephen: i've heard about
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the idea of sending up like hundreds of thousands of small probes-- >> project -- >> stephen: like the size of your thumb with huge light sails that get accelerate accelerateds at a third of the speed of light and they're there in 30 years. why aren't we doing it right now, neil? >> they're working on it right now. >> stephen: who? this is uri millener, the russian billionaire. >> stephen: yeah, sure. >> who is one of the set of billionaires who likes space spaceand is putting their money where their mouth is. he wants to set up like thousands of these-- they're called nanosatellites. they're thumbnailed size, attached to a huge sail, and you light up these gigawatt lasers here on earth. and you beam themue don't want planes flying through this. that would be bad. from the earth's surface, you beam them up at these satellites and you can accelerate them basically 20% of the speed of light. they would get there in 20 years. they would contain cameras and telemetry -- >> stephen: and do they act as
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solar collectors to provide power to send back information. >> you are beaming with 20 gigawatts-- that's a lot of power. they'll have power. they'll be fine. they'll be fine pup get there close, and it beams a signal back. that only takes four years. it's a 25-year -- >> stephen: i could be alive for information come back from another star system. >> if you wear your seat belt, yes. >> stephen: we'll be right back with more neil degrasse tyson, stick around. ♪ how do you become america's best-selling brand? you make it detect what they don't. stop, stop, stop! sorry. you make it sense what's coming. watch, watch, watch! mom. relax! i'm relaxed. you make it for 16-year olds... whoa-whoa-whoa!!! and the parents who worry about them. you saw him, right? going further to help make drivers, better drivers. don't freak out on me. that's ford. and that's how you become america's best-selling brand.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: we're back here with my friend and fine wine drinking buddy neil degrasse tyson. you do like a fine bottle of wine. >> i do, i do. i like to see who is doing better, me orthwein over the
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years you. >> stephen: only drink wine that was harvested the year you were born. >> i have a lot-- every now and then i check in and see -- >> stephen:en and then you have less. >> and then i have less. and then one day we will meet at the grave with no wine gleft this is trapus. it looks like a frame from a teterous game. >> i didn't tell you to pull out that photo. >> stephen: it's the only photo we've got. >> it's far away. >> stephen: let's talk about something closer to home that you're associated with that you got in trouble about is that you were on the group of people that was advising whether pluto should remain a planet many years ago, about 10-plus years ago. >> yeah, we-- we-- we voted-- we-- we-- ( laughter ) >> stephen: we elite planet people-- >> we at the american museum of natural history, when we redid our exhibit, we said pluto belongs here not there with his other icy brethren in the outer solar system. >> stephen: you took a lot of
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heat for that. >> yes. i was an accessory to that decision -- >> stephen: you almost said "crime." you almost said "crime." >> no, there are people like mike broan browne who discovered the objects in the out solar system that forced that vote. in fact, he's guilty. in fact his twitter handle is called "pluto killer." he admits it. >> stephen: who is this mike brown you're throwing under the bus, under the space bus. >> he threw himself under the bus. >> stephen: now some of your buddies at nasa want to reinstate pluto as a planet because they want the designation of planet to be closer to people's intuition, rather than some arbitrary scientific designation. okay. >> they should just, like, get over it is what i'm saying. >> stephen: why do you think people want to name it a planet again. >> pluto had it coming from the beginning. it never really belonged -- pluto's orbit crosses that of another planet. that's no kind of behavior for a planet. no! >> stephen: you have to stay in your lane? >> stay in your lane!
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>> stephen: stay in your lane! all right, okay. no! >> our moon has five times the mass of pluto. so just -- >> stephen: what? >> just get over it. >> stephen: was our moon a planet? >> no, it's a moon. ( laughter ) >> stephen: all right. >> you have another picture. >> stephen: explain to me what this thing is right here. what is this? and what are we going to do with it? >> this is currently the largest telescope in the world. it's a radio telescope 500 meters across. that is so large, you could play 25 football games in the area of that-- of that telescope. and the aliens who are trying to talk to us, you can ask who the first people who are going to hear these aliens is the people running this telescope. >> stephen: who is running this telescope? >> china. >> stephen: okay. why aren't we running this telescope? >> because we-- we lost our mo-jo. >> stephen: what. >> mo-jo. >> stephen: that's a science term. >> that's a stifng term. year, the mo-jo-- the science mo-jo is this has never been
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done before. we're going to invest in it. and we're going to be first at it. if you don't have those three pistons alined other people doll it. that's the thing about science, it doesn't matter where it happens. it will happen somewhere pup don't own science. science is for anyone who is curious and wants to invest there and right now the world is passing us by. ( applause ). >> stephen: let's talk about-- i think scott pruitt, who is the new head of the e.p.a., has said that he does not believe that-- ( audience booing ). >> stephen: is it scott? scott prosecute? no one knows his first name. he said he does not believe co-2 is the control knob for climate change. what is the present concens of census on co-2 and climate change. >> it's a greenhouse gas. water is also a greenhouse vapor but that's sort of fixed in the atmosphere, at least for now. yeah, so-- lately, people are just talking. i will act when they actually try to put legislation in to
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place. but people just talk. and i can't chase what people say because it flutters with the breeze. if he puts down some legislation that requires that everyone think that, oh! oh, my gosh! hold me back! because then. ( cheers and applause ) no, no! >> stephen: reporter, i'll hold you back. i'll hold you back. get out of here! he's going to blow! he's a crystal geyser! >> no, i can tell you something? in six weeks, i have a book coming out you. >> stephen: have a book coming out in six weeks. >> it's not out yet. >> stephen: can we say what the book is? >> can i tell you. it's "astrophysics for people in a hurry." >> stephen: will you please come back and tell us about that in six weeks. >> i will so do that. if you've never consummated your love of the universe, that book will do so for you. >> stephen: i'm look forward to that. >> you can preorder it. >> stephen: you're welcome here any time. >> i can come back. >> stephen, of course, you
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can! never leave. >> stephen: "startalk" will be returning for another season on natgeo soon. neil degrasse tyson, everybody! we'll be right back with todd barry. emerge restored. fortified. replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good everyday?
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( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. folks, my next guest has been doing standup for nearly 30 years. you know him from "louie" and "master of none." please welcome todd barry! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: thanks for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> stephen: thanks for making it through the storm, i guess. >> oh,, you know, it's the least
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i can do. i don't know what that meant. >> stephen: you know neil tyson, right? >> i do. >> stephen: i have a picture of you guys here. what's from this from? >> a show we did for m.s.g. network. it was interesting, both of us here tonight because it's just weird to have two astrophysicists on the same show. >> stephen: this says neil tyson. this says, "comedian." it says, "neil tyson astrophysicist." "batodd barry, comedian." you have a new book "thank you for coming to hattiesburg." >> i wanted a title that wouldn't fit in a tweet. ( laughter ). >> stephen: why are you thanking people for coming to hattiesburg? >> they thank me, actually. it's about doing smaller market cities, when you do a show-- a smaller market, they can't believe you're there, so they say things like, thank you for coming t hattiesburg."
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>> stephen: because they wouldn't imagine anybody would come. >> when you do a show in chicago, they're not like, "i can't believe you came to chicago." but in hate ease berg they're like, "i can't believe you came to hate ease burg." >> stephen: what is your favorite town that you didn't think you would like? i toured for years and years and years when i was a young comedian in a 16-passenger van. >> seriously. >> stephen: oh, year, yeah, with the second city. a 16-passenger van. >> yeah, i'm just trying to think of the favorite city. >> stephen: rangely, colorado. >> yeah, that was a good one. now i'm just playing along. ( laughter ). >> stephen: you ever tour with jon stewart when you were on the road? >> i did, actually, years ago, jon stewart and i used to do colleges together. and there was a time he got mad at me. i talk about this -- >> stephen: jon got mad at you? >> yeah, we were driving to ithaca college. ( applause ). >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> i loaded up the audience with ithaca college. i invite aid bunch of people.
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year, we were driving, it was, like air, four-hour drive. and we were listening t listenie radio and a dave matthews band song came on and he was clearly enjoying it and i'm punk rock and i wasn't enjoying it. this dave matthews song came into he was enjoying it and singing along. a few hours later it came on again and i feel, "we don't need to hear this gaining gan." and i reached and changed it and he got so angry with me. it's like the way i get when someone reaches for one of my onion rings or something. >> stephen: year, but i don't like that guy. >> do you have his hot mail address? i'd like to smooth things over. >> stephen: i do. let's put it up on the lower third here. let's put jon's email address on the lower third here so everybody can email jon. you cannot to my home town of charleston, south carolina, in this book. >> too. >> stephen: i did. this chapter right here, very interesting to me, right here. where is this? where is this one here? it says, "the sottile theater.
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you played there? >> i did. it wasn't full. >> stephen: i met my wife at the sottile theater. >> did you really? >> stephen: i did. i have happy memories. do you have happy memories of the sottilepositive theater. >> i do. and the show was very good. >> stephen: if you do say so yourself. >> let me rephrase that. the audience was great. i did what i could. ( laughter ) they-- i dove pret heartily into the food culture. i'm kind of a foodie. actually, i think that's a picture of the best thing i had -- >> stephen: this is a picture. my home town is famous and scrr proud of its southern cuisine. and this is-- you said this is the best meal you had in charleston. >> yes. >> stephen: this is a styrofoam container with a baked potato in it? >> yes. >> stephen: was was this-- it's a dry baked potato. you haven't even opened the
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little lando laking butter pack. >> that's from the charleston airport and i was just very excited -- >> stephen: the food throughout is amazing? have you tried panda express? it's just-- oh, it's amazing. we do this pizza, this place called sparro! >> that picture is actually in the book, and believe it or not, the publishers did not want the baked potato picture in there. they said it was boring. ( laughter ). >> stephen: they didn't think that would move paper. a photo of a potato. >> you got the colored version. it's black and white in the book. >> stephen: let's see how excite ago yeah, now, that's an exciting photograph. ( applause ) >> the version i gave you, the spring onions really pop more. >> stephen: yeah. well, todd, lovely to have you here. >> thank you for having me. "thank you for coming to hattiesburg" is available now. actually it's released today.
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congratulations on the book. todd barry, everybody! we'll be r,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be jessica lange bassem youssef, and judy gold. now stick around for james corden and his guests gillian jacobs and jerrod carmichael. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org
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♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where you come from it's gonna be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from

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