tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS July 17, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
we will see you tomorrow. captioning sponsored by cbs >> red square. when this was the soviet union, we americans were taught it was the epicenter of all evil and should the nuclear fire ball consume this planet, the decision to launch the miss also will come from the men behind that wall. are we in a new cold war? let me ask you caramel frappuccino i just bought over there. >> it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! >> tonight, stephen welcomes former president al gore! issa rae, a performance by
planetarium and russia's state television's only late night show. live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: very nice. hey, everybody! how are ya? hi, jon, good to see ya! ( audience chanting stephen ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: thanks, everybody! thank you so much! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to "the late show." please have a seat. thank you so much, everybody. well, folks, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert.
it is -- it's russia week, and i just want to get out ahead of the story here. i recently met with a lot of russians. i can't remember why. maybe because i was in russia. oh, some of them worked for the government. this week, we'll be showing you one russian field piece. sorry. i meant to say two russian -- my lawyers are telling me five russian field pieces. i didn't think you'd find out. the whole week was supposed to be a secret but someone leaked it to cbs's marketing department. i didn't. anyway, russia's coming up later in the show. meanwhile, back in the united states, russia. folks, things are not looking good for president son and store brand billy baldwin, donald trump, jr. because of a meeting he took
last year with russian lawyer natalia veselnitskaya. and now we've learned that there was another russian at that meeting, russian lobbyist rinat akhmyetshin. funny detail -- he's reportedly a former soviet counterintelligence officer. of course, when it comes to don, jr., there's not much intelligence to counter. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) now, akhmyetshin "denies any current ties to russian spy agencies." it must be true. remember the first rule of spy club -- tell everyone you're in spy club. ( laughter ) point is, there's another lie
because, last week, don, jr. didn't mention this russian guy. no, he said this -- >> this is everything. this is everything. >> stephen: this is everything. must have slipped his mind. with all that hair gel, things just slide out. ( piano riff ) ( laughter ) so there was a fifth person we didn't know about. then we found out there was a sixth person. six! that's more people than are currently working at the e.p.a.! ( laughter ) who was the sixth person? we don't know. i'm guessing the guy who had to keep bringing chairs into the conference room. now, no one's saying there were seven people in the meeting because, turns out, there were at least eight people in the room. eight! and that's not even counting the other russians that are nested inside of them! ( laughter ) ( applause )
don, jr.'s defense this entire time has been that he wanted to collude with russia but got nothing. therefore, innocent? but you know who doesn't remember it that way? ( laughter ) rinat akhmyetshin. ♪ ( cheers and applause ) he claims that natalia, the russian lawyer, gave don "a plastic folder with printed-out documents that detailed what she believed was the flow of illicit funds to the democrats." okay, they never met with russians, but turns out they did. but all they talked about was adoption, but it turns out they talked about colluding, but the one russian didn't give them any documents, but it turns she did and it wasn't one russian, it was five.
this is the first time a trump has lied about having a smaller crowd size. ( laughter ) meanwhile, donald trump has added another lawyer to his team, former federal prosecutor and man hiring the three stooges to move a piano, ty cobb. yes, that's really his name. so who is trump's new lawyer and model train magazine's 2010 bad boy of the year, ty cobb? well, according to the bio on his firm's website, ty cobb gets results the old-fashioned way, which, presumably, is also how he gets his mustache wax and homemade root beer. but he's no slouch. by "he" i mean saltwater taffy mascot, ty cobb.
he's won huge legal cases including when he successfully defended a beef processor against charges of lying to investigators. that was very generous of cobb to help out a rival cattle baron. but just because he's ruthless in the court room doesn't mean that there isn't a soft side to trump lawyer and lollipop guild strike breaker, ty cobb. for example, he was described by cnn legal analyst michael zeldin as "a genuinely nice man." of course, it's not surprising that you'd get a nice vibe from trump lawyer and rejected westworld saloon keeper, ty cobb. today, his new client, donald trump, unveiled "made in america" week. possibly to distract from the fact that his campaign was made in russia. one of the products made in america that he highlighted was a big shiny fire truck! and the president, of course, could not resist getting in.
( laughter ) where's the fire? we haven't found the fire, yet, mr. president, but there's more smoke every day. we've got a great show for you tonight. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) al gore is here. but when we return, i'm in russia! stick around. guys, everybody quiet down... cause this is my jam. showtime! ♪tell it to my heart ♪tell me i'm the only one... nailed it tim, nailed it. ♪ many
welcome back. as you can see, it's "russia week" here at the "late show," which is part of "russia four years" here in america. because ever since trump's election, everyone has been talking about russia. it's in all the papers, it's on tv, it's in the self-incriminating emails we tweet for some reason. in fact, to get away from the russia election hacking story, you'd have to travel all the way to whatever country produces "fox and friends." but despite all the russia talk, we know almost nothing about what average russians think. so i thought, someone should go to russia and find out. and then i thought of the perfect person -- not me. because, and this is true, my executive producer chris over there back in december said, hey, do you want the take a trip to russia? and i said, absolutely not. ( laughter ) and he said, what if i just found out how much it would cost to go?
i said, well, that couldn't hurt anything. the next thing i knew, i was in moscow. ( laughter ) the trip was amazing. the russian people were incredibly friendly and welcoming. in fact, there were teams of them following me about a block behind wherever i went -- in case i needed something i guess. i talked to the people on the street, i spent a day with russian oligarch mikhail prokerov, i met with a russian security expert and putin dissident. i even stayed in the ritz carlton presidential suite. yes, that one. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) yes. very nice. very nice. ( piano riff ) ( applause ) i wore a hazmat suit. ( laughter ) we'll have all of that all this week, and tonight, our first piece from beautiful st. petersburg. >> stephen: when you think of russia, you think of one
thing -- late night comedy. ivan urgant is russia's most popular and only late night talk show host and was gracious enough to invite me on as a guest of "evening urgant." but before i took to the kremlin-sanctioned air-waves of state-run television. i first wanted to hit the streets of st. petersburg to learn a little bit about the russian sense of humor. what's like a classic russian joke? >> the crow flies. >> stephen: the crow flies. >> and it smacks into the stop sign. >> stephen: oh, the crow smacks into the stop sign. >> and then it says, schlagbaum, baum baum... it's the sound of hitting the stop sign. and that's the word that indicates the stop sign itself. >> stephen: oh, so the stop sign makes the sound of the stop sign. >> of the crow hitting the stop sign.
>> stephen: okay. now that i've heard from the people, i wanted to hear from my comrade in late night. so i sat down with ivan urgant himself to discuss the obstacles he faces doing comedy in russia. okay, so let's talk about like restrictions. are there things you can and cannot say on your show? do you feel comfortable doing politics on your show? >> not really too much politics. we do some. >> stephen: do you talk about trump on your show? >> from time to time. >> stephen: because we talk about him all the time. >> yeah, that's why you guys are number one now in the states. thank you, mr. president. >> stephen: thank you very much. >> so we're more close to fallon, than to john oliver. >> stephen: does putin watch your show? >> no, i don't know.
>> ask him about putin. ask him about putin. is he like to sit naked on a horse? i won't say it! >> stephen: that i know of! i was finally ready to make my russian debut. >> stephen: introducing stephen colbert! >> stephen: i love the russian people. >> why do you love russian people? how come you suddenly started loving us? >> stephen: because they're so friendly... they're so friendly, they're so welcoming. i was out on the streets last night here in st. petersburg. >> that's your very first visit to russia? you've never been to russia before? >> stephen: this is the first time i've ever been in russia. i -- >> you've never been to the soviet union? >> stephen: i'd like a lawyer present before i answer that. ( laughter ) i want to tell you, i am so honored to be here right now because you are the number one show here and this is the state tv, so you are officially the employee of the state. and we agreed that i will be on the show.
we-- what's the word for it-- we colluded that i would be on the show, and so i look forward to going back to america and testifying before the senate intelligence committee about colluding with russians. thank you for that opportunity. >> the thing is, look, there's a lot going on between our countries. but we have to be friends. we have to be friends. but before we can be friends, here in russia, we must quarrel -- or to put it simply, to fight. hit me. ( laughter ) ( applause ) now we can be friends. please take a look what i got for you. stephen, stephen -- >> stephen: yes? this is the segment and the game called "the russian russian roulette."
please. ♪ >> stephen: what's this? >> we spin, you take the shot that the arrow points to. and then let's toast-- we like to toast here in russia. you toast russia, and i will toast america. let's try. >> stephen: oh, i'd love to, i'd love to. what do we do with the pickles? ( applause ) >> no, no, no, no. you will find out in the process. you will return a different man to america, a different man. your life will change. come on, spin. well, go ahead. please. okay, easy. that's it. uh-huh. well, probably this one. please. take it out carefully. well, say a toast, drink, and then i'll show you what to do
with the pickles. >> stephen: to the beautiful and friendly russian people. i don't understand why no members of the trump administration can remember meeting you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen. and now right away, right away, right away you eat it. that's it. excellent. give me this shot. >> stephen: is this all vodka? >> well, naturally. >> stephen: then why do we spin it? >> because it's "the russian russian roulette!" >> stephen: so every single one of them is a bullet? >> of course! welcome to russia, stephen! >> stephen: this is suicide. >> i'd like to drink, i'd like to toast the wonderful country america, the united states, which invented internet, thanks
to which we can influence the outcome of the presidential elections in the u.s. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: by the way-- oh, you just smelled it? >> yes, yes, yes. >> stephen: okay, smells wonderful. can i announce something? >> please. >> stephen: i am here in russia... this is not showing in the united states? >> well, it depends-- they show it at trump tower. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: okay. but he doesn't remember. ( laughter ) and i am here to announce that i am considering a run for president in 2020. ( cheers and applause ) >> stop, stop, stop. >> stephen: and i thought it would just be better to cut out the middle man and just tell the russians myself.
if anyone would like to work on my campaign in an unofficial capacity, please just let me know. >> stephen, stephen, you have just ended the game. since you've announced it yourself-- we were actually expecting you to do that after we drink all of it-- i can't deny myself the pleasure to drink with the future president of the united states. to you, stephen. i wish you luck. we will do everything possible on our end to help you become the president. >> stephen: spasibo! a strong america, a strong russia! >> stephen colbert! >> stephen: before i left, i wanted to leave my late night comrade with a cherished gift. >> stephen: there was a crow, a black bird, a crow. and it was flying through the sky, and as it came to land it hit a schlagbaum. and the sign made the sound-- baum baum baum baum baum.
>> this is one of the most funniest jokes i've ever heard in my life. >> stephen: thank you. ♪ >> stephen: thank you, ivan! we'll be back with vice president al gore, stick around! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) the people you love,to does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment? if you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. in fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. do not use if you are allergic to taltz. before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you are being treated
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>> you're in georgetown which is the reddest city and county in texas and i'm a conservative republican. >> okay. but, you know, our duty to our rate payers is to provide them with the lowest possibility utility cost. >> money talks. but doesn't it make sense from a common sense standpoint, the less stuff you put in the air, the better it is? >> yeah. i mean, common sense. you don't need scientists to debate that. >> can i use that line? absolutely. ( laughter ) >> somebody get a picture of me and mr. vice president. >> there is not an endorsement, as you can well imagine. >> stephen: please welcome, former vice president al gore. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
>> stephen: thank you so much for joining us tonight. >> it's great to be part of russia week. >> stephen: it is. it is. speaking of which, i found out recently that you've got a very interesting history when it comes to illicit campaign help. ( laughter ) in 2000, you were prepping for the debates against george w. bush -- >> yeah. >> stephen: -- and i understand you got the debate prep book or someone in your campaign did? >> yeah, someone had stolen it, evidently, from the bush campaign and mailed it to my close friend tom downey who was going to be the bush stand-in and debate prep. >> right. >. it wasn't mailed from moscow, but it was mailed from texas, somebody very unhappy with the bush campaign. >> stephen: but you didn't keep it. >> no, we immediately turned it over to the f.b.i.
( cheers and applause ) and tom recused himself from the whole debate process. >> stephen: now, did you think about the option of keeping it, winning the election and then blaming the whole thing on the secret service? ( laughter ) >> didn't occur to me at the time, but in retrospect -- no. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you met putin in the '90s? >> in the '90s. he was deputy payor of st. petersburg. the mayor was a former law professor, and vladimir putin was in charge of making sure all the details went right. >> stephen: what kind of impression did you get of the guy? >> well, he seemed competent, but if somebody had told me at that point that he was going to be president of russia, i would have said, wow, i'm not -- i mean, i didn't really interact with him all that much, but he didn't immediately jump out as a future president. >> stephen: and if someone
told you donald trump would be president of the united states, what would you reaction have been at the time? >> yeah, less likely, absolutely. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: i want to point out here, for the youngens, we have a young demo here. 17 years ago when you did not become president of the united states, you went off alone for a while. >> yes. >> stephen: and you changed your look. you grew a beard, you got hipster before hipster was hip. >> yeah. >> stephen: would you recommend this to all of us? should all of america just grow a beard and try to get over this? >> 18% of the american people really liked that look a lot, yeah. ( laughter ) >> stephen: was there polling at the time? >> no, i'm kidding. >> stephen: was there polling at the time? pros ( applause ) >> but i don't want to dissuade you from trying it, stephen. >> stephen: i've tried it. i can't do it. it's a little patchy.
( laughter ) now you are the only other living candidate who won the popular vote and did not become president to have the united states. did you speak to mrs. clinton after this? >> i did. i spoke to her after the election. she's going to be fine. the country is another matter. ( laughter ) >> stephen: if you can, did you give her any advice on how to deal with the ridiculous situation at a certain level? >> you just move on. she didn't need my advice. just move on, that's what i did, and looked for other ways to serve. >> stephen: obviously, you threw yourself into educating people about global warming, what was happening to our climate. now, ten years after "an inconvenient sequel," our president trump has pulled out of the paris accord. does that worry you and your
friends who know about global warming? >> i worried it would be a disastrous move. but all the other countries in the world doubled down and said we're going to do more. and even here in the u.s., a lot of our most important governors and business leaders said we're still in the paris agreement and we're going to meet the commitments of the country regardless of what donald trump tweets. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: if i'm not mistaken, did you get a chance to talk to donald trump about this before he pulled out? >> i did. i went to trump tower after the election, and that was not the only conversation i had with him, and i thought that there was a chance he would come to his senses, but i was wrong. >> stephen: well, does it -- when you hear that a piece of ice has broken off, an ice shelf in antarctica about the size of
delaware, do you think that's a direct attack at joe biden and the state of delaware? i guess my question is why is ice always measured in the size of u.s. eastern seaboard states? is that a significant development or just more par for the course? >> well, it's significant as a sign of what is happening to antarctica as a whole. this particular ice shelf, it's already floating, so it won't raise sea level, but if the others behind it also come off, that could release more land-based ice that would raise sea level, and significant part of west antarctica has already crossed a point of no return. >> stephen: what does that mean, no return? i'm asking for a friend who has a beach house. >> i understand. the ice scientists say, unfortunately, there will be continued sea level rise, but we still have the ability to have
an impact on how long that takes and whether or not other big parts of antarctica melt in turn because, if they did, we would lose a lot of coastal cities in the u.s. and around the world. >> stephen: well, the new film is inconvenient sequel truth to power. normally a sequel two movie is a sign it was successful. is it a sign it wasn't successful because we need a sequel to this one? should we have done more by now? i guess that's what i'm asking. >> we should have done more, yes, but 18 months ago there was an historic breakthrough with the agreement in prix paris where just about everybody in the world agreed to bring pollution down to zero in the early part of the second century and that's encouraging. we have made progress.
the other exciting thing is the cost of electricity from solar panels and wind mills has come down incredibly fast and, in many areas, it's now cheaper than electricity from burning fossil fuels. batteries are coming down in cost and electric vehicles are becoming more popular, so we have a lot going for us. we can and will solve this but the real purpose of this movie is to encourage everybody to get involved who's interesting to help solve this. learn about it, go to the movie, get the book, go to the web site, inconvenient sequel.com, and then use your vote and voice in conversation on climate, and when candidates ask for your support, tell them this is important to me, and depending on their position, tell them you are be for them or do everything in your power to defeat them. ( applause ) >> stephen: you've got to go but most important question. >> yeah. >> stephen: we've got to go,
but the most important question i could ask is i know a lot of young people feeling hopeless about this and they read articles and magazines or see interviews on tv and hear it is too late -- you know, don't even have kids because you will only help destroy the planet and there will be no future for them. is there hope, al gore? >> absolutely. go see the movie. you will see there is tremendous hope. we are going to win this. the only question is how long it will take, and to young people in particular, i really recommend this movie as a date movie. ( laughter ) ates hot date movie. it's an amazingly hot date movie. >> stephen: because if the end of the world is coming, you might as well hook up with me. ( laughter ) thank you so much, mr. vice president. "an inconvenient sequel," truth to power, in select theaters july 28 and nationwide on august 4. al gore, everybody! august 4. al gore, everybody! we'll be back with issa rae! stick around!
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! folks, my next guest went from creating a youtube series about her life to creating an hbo series about her life. please welcome, the star of "insecure," issa rae! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hi. nice to meet you. >> you got me through college. >> stephen: did i? yeah, i gave you my diploma but i never picked it up. >> stephen: you can clear something up for me. i have a question about you. that is you had a popular
youtube series called "the misadventures of awkward black girl." >> yes. >> stephen: you seem like a self-possessed african-american woman. what makes you an awkward black girl? >> just life. feeling uncomfortable at all times. i grew up in predominantly white neighbors and -- >> stephen: me, too. i can understand. >> i'm african and it was always a state of transition. a lot of people try to bridge the gap, having conversations with white co-workers, things like that, they always try to find a connective tissue with us. i would be bonding with someone. >> stephen: you and i. doesn't get any whiter. >> you and i were talking. i thought we had a moment, and all of a sudden, you were like, and girl! you put on a black accent --
>> stephen: let me ask you a question -- girl! >> please do not do that. don't start sentences with, hey, do black people. don't do that. >> reporter: because they don't? >> i don't know. i don't know what other black people to. i don't. >> stephen: you can ask me about white people if you want. >> do white people -- >> stephen: nope. hmm mmm. ( laughter ) you've gone from youtube to an hobb show. now that it's a little bit of a hiring profile being on hobb. they market you, you know, they want you not to be able to walk down the street. they want you to be famous. has that been different for you going out there being seen and recognized everywhere you go? >> it just feels like i'm popular in high school, if anything. it's not really, like i'm not really well known. >> stephen: after tonight, you will be extremely well known. >> thank you. >> stephen: it's over. ( applause ) if you have any vices, get them done between now and the time
the show broadcasts. >> good to know. >> stephen: yeah. helping my friend return something that bloomingdale's and i was stand big the cashier, being bored. and the cashier was, like, wait, wait! i know you! i love you so much! i love your music! i was, like, who do you think i am? and she thought i was a beautiful rapper and i said, no, thank you for the compliment, she's beautiful. two minutes later, this person comes up to me and says, yo! i love you so much! and the cashier didn't hear the beginning part. she said, i love you so much, i love your show, can i take a picture with you? and the cashier saw me taking the picture and said, pitch, did you lie to me? i said, no, i'm a different person. i'm sorry. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i get a lot of, i love you, steve carell. i'm, like, i'm not him. i wish i was.
now, this is based on your own life, this series? >> it's partially based off of experiences and a lot of my friends. i honestly just wanted to create something i felt like was relatable and was something kind of for us baned us. >> stephen: we have a clip here. can you tell me what's happening in this one? >> so we opened the season with my character who is also known issa. going and adventuring into the dating world and feeling like it gets a bit redundant after a while. >> stephen: okay. jim? >> where are you from? honestly, doesn't matter what i say because this isn't going anywhere. >> yeah. i'm into burritos now. >> high school kids? sounds tough. you like working with kids? >> how's it working with kids. to be honest, (bleep). but i'm trashed, too, so. >> so how long have you been
unhinged? >> how long you been on boom? are you still single? ( applause ) >> stephen: i understand that a music consultant or supervisor on your show is s solange knowl? >> yes, for the first season. incredible. >> stephen: any way you can get me invited to a party with beyonce? >> i can't even get into a party with beyonce. i always just miss her and it just has been driving me crazy. i would love to meet her. it's crazy, even talking to solange about, when she was an employee on the show, hearing her have casual conversations, yeah, me and my sister -- and i zone out immediately because she's talking about beyonce, beyonce is her sister! so it got very challenging.
>> stephen: because i'll hold the babies or anything like that if she needs the break. >> honestly, if you're baby sitting, i'm baby sitting, too. >> stephen: it's a deal. season two of "insecure" begins this sunday on hbo. issa rae, everybody! we'll be right back! on my travels across the country i came across this house with water dripping from the ceiling. you never know when something like this will happen. so let the geico insurance agency help you with homeowners insurance and protect yourself from things like fire, theft, or in this case, water damage. cannonball! now if i had to guess, i'd say somewhere upstairs there's a broken pipe. let the geico insurance agency help you with homeowners insurance. call today to see how much you could save.
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>> stephen: and now here performing "mercury" please welcome planetarium! ♪ ♪ ♪ all that i've known to be of life ♪ and i am gentle you ran off with it all ♪ and i am faithful all that i felt within my arms ♪ and i am weightless you ran off with it all ♪ and i am speechless all that i said to get it right ♪ and i am confident
you ran off with it all ♪ and i am steadfast all that i thought to be precise ♪ and i am consequence you ran off with it all ♪ and i am sorry and i am sorry ♪ ♪ and i am sorry ♪ all that i've known to be at peace ♪ and i am desperate you ran off with it all ♪ and i am restless all that i've known to be of love ♪ and i am gentle you ran off with it all ♪ and i am desperate all that i dream ♪ where do you run
where do you run to? ♪ and i am evidence all that i dream ♪ where do you run where do you run to? ♪ and i am faithless all that i dream ♪ where do you run where do you run to? ♪ now i am messed up all that i dream ♪ where do you run where do you run to? ♪ carrier, friend where do you run? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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michael key, cillian murphy and comedian matteo lane. now stick around for james corden. goodnight! ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from new brunswick, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden!