tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS September 26, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
good night. show is next. our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night captioning sponsored by cbs >> the president was asked about the laughter he got during his speech before the united nations, and he said actually everything went according to plan. he told reporters, "it was great, well, that was meant to get some laughter, so it was great." >> net flicks presents president donald trump's first comedy special. hail-arty to the chief. >> i am the least racist person that you have ever met. ( laughter ) there was no collusion with russia. ( laughter ) >> you alsoee on both sides. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trust me. i'm like a smart person. ( laughter )
>> brett kavanaugh is an absolute, outstanding person. hopefully, he will be confirmed quickly. ( crickets ) >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, trump's press conference. plus, stephen welcomes candice bergen new zeland's prime minister jacinda ardern and a special performance by jon batiste and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! hey! how are you? ! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey! >> stephen: thank you. thanks, everybody. please, have a seat.
welcome, one and all, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. i don't know if you guys-- you guys check out the internet lately. i saw this yesterday. there's this great story about a moth drinking sleeping bird's tears. >> jon: wow! >> stephen: well, that's tonight's top story. ( laughter ) nothing else going on. ( laughter ) god, i wish i was that bird. ( laughter ) or that moth. because i'm all good on tears. okay, i lied. the top story is still about supreme court nominee and man counting his accusers, brett kavanaugh. ( laughter ) let me-- let me-- let me do this quickly as i can, because it's important. but we have to get to the president's press conference, because it's unbelievable. this morning, we learned new allegations against kavanaugh from a woman named julie
swetnick, and she says that back in high school, she "attended "well over ten" parties where kavanaugh was present and saw him "drink excessively at many of these parties and engage in abusive and physically aggressive behavior towards girls." now, do we want someone on the supreme court who treated women this way, even in high school? >> audience: no! >> stephen: i'm not sure we even want someone who even attended 10 parties in high school. we want nerds, dammit! but from there-- ( applause ) from there-- ( applause ) i gotta warn you, i gotta warn you, sincerely, from there her statement gets extremely dark. she says that she witnessed kavanaugh and his friend, mark judge, dose the punch at multiple parties with what she suspects was grain alcohol and qualuudes, so that the girls could be sexually assaulted by multiple boys. and she says that "in approximately 1982, i became the victim." all of that is, of course, horrifying to contemplate. kavanaugh has responded to the allegations in a statement, saying, "this is ridiculous and
from the twilight zone, and i don't know who this is. >> first of all, let's not malign the good name of "the twilight zone"! available now on cbs all access! $9.99 a month, no commercials. second, he might claim to not know her, but she seems to know him. in her statement, swetnick says she "also witnessed such conduct on one occasion in ocean city, maryland, during 'beach week.'" now, we don't even know if there was something called "beach week." i suppose we could look at the 1982 calendar kavanaugh smitty to see-- okay, there you go. there is-- wow, wow, ain't that a beach. so swetnick made this sworn statement under penalty of perjury. kavanaugh, on the other hand, categorically denies it, and many of his friends say they have no idea who this woman is. how do you know the truth? if only there was some bureau on the federal level that could
investigate things. a b.f.i., if you will. ( laughter ) by the way, the new hit drama, "f.b.i.," also available on cbs all access, from executive producer, wolf dick. ( applause ) so it was against this backdrop that the president decided to call only his fourth press conference since becoming president this afternoon. in fact, when i walked out here to do this, it was still going on. he was still taking questions as i walked on stage. he started by defending why he didn't call for an f.b.i. investigation into the accusers' claims. >> the f.b.i. told us they've investigated judge kavanaugh six times, five times-- many times over the years. they know him very well. but here there was nothing to investigate from at least one standpoint. they didn't know the location. they didn't know the time. they didn't know the year.
they didn't know anything. and it's like where do you go? >> stephen: yeah. where do you go? other than to ask people questions. ( laughter ) i'd love to see how donald trump plays requested clue." "who killed mr. body? it's impossible to know, unless we open that tiny envelope! and we've already opened it five, maybe six times before." then, then trump-- ( applause ) "clue" fans. big fans of colonel mustard here tonight. ( laughter ) then trump summed up his feelings about these allegations. >> a big, fat con job. >> stephen: that is a harsh attack on these women, but it would make an honest slogan: "trump 2020: a big fat con job." ( cheers and applause )
239. technically, a 239-pound con job. ( laughter ) he went on to explain that, just like everything else, this is all a conspiracy against him. >> i think when you really look at it all, it's not going to change any of the democrats' minds. they're obstructionists. and they go into a room, and i guarantee you they laugh like hell at what they pulled off on you and on the public. they laugh like hell. >> stephen: "they laugh like hell... not as loud as the u.n. laughed at me, but still, pretty loud. hello. is this on? hello." ( applause ) ( laughter ) and when fake news cnn's jim acosta got a chance to ask a question, he made a suggestion to the president.
>> if you don't mind, after i'm finished, if weijia or hallie or vivian, or one of our female colleagues could go after me, that would be great. mr. president, just to follow up on these allegations against brett kavanaugh-- >> what does he mean by that? explain. what does that mean? >> i think it would be great if a female-- >> no, what does it mean? >> it'd be great if a female reporter could ask a question about this issue. so if you don't mind. >> i wouldn't mind that at all. wouldn't mind at all. wouldn't make any difference to me. go ahead. >> stephen (as trump): "man, woman, animal, doesn't make any difference to me. i will answer all your questions in a bone-chilling ramble." ( laughter ) that being said, kind of a dic question, jim acosta. we get it. you're woke. then the president warned america that #metoo is an insatiable carnivorous beast that is coming for everyone. >> people are going to be scared, because we could say it
about you-- 35 years ago you-- and you might not know what's going on. what is going on? you know, it can happen the other way. allegations can go the other way, also. you understand that. i could pick a woman, and she could have charges made from many years ago, also. >> stephen (as trump): "i mean, really, at this point, pretty much everyone i know has charges against them." ( laughter ) "so, you know. are you a cop? you have to tell me if you're a cop." ( applause ) but when it comes to the kavanaugh hearing tomorrow, trump wants you to know he'll be all over it. >> i'm gonna be watching, you know, believe it or not. >> stephen: sir, it is hard to believe you do anything but watch tv. and-- and-- ( applause ) and he put this hearing in historical perspective. >> look, if we brought george washington here, and we
said, "we have george washington," the democrats would vote against him, just so you understand. and he may have had a bad past, who knows? you know. he may have had had some, i think, accusations made. didn't he have a couple things in his past? >> stephen: yeah, yeah, a couple of things, a couple of things. that cherry tree. the fake teeth. and oh, yeah. he owned slaves. ( laughter ) but trump knows what these women were going through. >> it doesn't mean they had to report it. because, in some instances, people keep it quiet. it's a very tough situation for a woman. there's no question. >> stephen (as trump): "and i should know. i have put women in that situation a lot. okay. i know what i'm talking about." ( applause ) one reporter tried to get a little more detail on his past
accusations. >> how have your personal experiences being accused by more than a dozen women-- >> i've been accused. false accusations. excuse my, excuse me. >> stephen (as trump): "excuse me. excuse me. shut up, reporter lady. i'm trying to tell these people how women deserve to be heard. excuse me. no, zip it. stop. " ( applause ) but then he seamlessly brought it all back to international relations. >> we were dealing at a very high level with japan. and i was saying things that nobody in the room even understood. >> stephen: finally, finally-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) finally, he said something true! ( laughter ) anyway, the press conference is
still going on? just ended. it just ended. i walked away while he was still on the tv. and i encourage you to go watch it. with someone you love. and i can't convey to you the shambling mess that assured no one who is going to see it. but they're going ahead with the hearing tomorrow with only one of the accusers, right? one of the accusers. no witnesses, and a vote at 9:30 the next day. now, i am not normally in the business of giving republican senators advice, but, gentleman-- and i use that term inaccurately-- ( laughter ) you need to call for an f.b.i. investigation now and get to the truth of all these dark allegations-- ( applause )
because if you don't, there are not enough moths in the world to drink your tears on november 6. ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight. candice bergen is here. but when we return, donuts! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) [ music: "bygones" by oliver ] totally re-mixed. introducing the all-new volkswagen jetta.
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batiste. he has a brilliant new album. tell the people what your album's name is. >> jon: "hollywood africans." >> stephen: and i have seen almost all of these songs live already. >> stephen: in your home town. >> stephen: in charleston, south carolina. absolutely brilliant. and stick around for his performance tonight. what song are you doing? >> jon: "don't stop." >> stephen: my favorite. and also the way i live. >> jon: you have to keep going. >> stephen: keep going on. >> jon: keep pushing through it. >> stephen: this week has been rough. this week has been a rough century of news. and we all need to let off a little steam. but we might be losing one option for doing that, because this week wenedtrt area a hd alcocespende oh, i should have mentioned: axe-throwing bars are a thing. it's like medieval times, but instead of professionals swinging weapons, it's you and your dumbest friend.
so how could this idea have possibly gone wrong? according to the local liquor- control commission, the "ax-throwing bar was lax about safety rules." you don't say! the next thing you'll be telling me is the arson bar isn't up to fire code. ( laughter ) now, the liquor commission was worried about infractions like "drinking alcohol while throwing axes, a lack of monitoring by bar management, and axes ricocheting off targets in the direction of participants, as well as axe throwers wearing open-toed shoes." that is shocking! that is truly shocking! to think that in a bar full of unsupervised drinkers bouncing axes into crowds of drunk people, some of them were wearing sandals! >> jon: biocks. >> steph isuhat the ities d to ste andaxe-thwing bas liquor license "for one whole day." i'm not sure 24 hours is enough time to make your customers axe-proof.
and i'm sure this kind of lax, laid-back punishment is definitely going to inspire copycat bars, like paddy o'crossbow's. ( laughter ) so america's axe-throwing bars might be under attack, but at least there's still one american institution that will never change: dunkin' donuts. but wait, the donuts are gone because dunkin' donuts is officially dropping the "donuts." still no word where they're dropping the donuts, but i'd like to offer a safe haven ( laughter ) there's room for everyone! everyone! even you, glazed blueberry! they explained the change by claiming the company is "on a first-name basis with its fans." yes, by eliminating the "donuts," they're following in the footsteps of great one-name divas, including madonna donuts and cher donuts.
this change doesn't really make much sense to me. dunkin' is a verb. without the donuts, what are we supposed to be dunkin', the egg white turkey sausage wake-up wrap into a large, iced green tea? come on, d.d. didn't you learn your name from ihop who tried to change their name to ihob. or jack-in-the-box when they changed their name to jackin. well, we're going to make this right. dunkin''s orphan donuts need a home. so we're gonna pick up the slack and adopt them right here on "the late show with stephen colbert donuts." we'll be right back with candice bergen! something completely different. capital one cafés. welcoming places with people here to help you, not sell you.
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>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to "the late show." folks, my first guest won five emmy awards playing the iconic murphy brown. after 20 years, she and the show return to cbs tomorrow. please welcome candice bergen! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: hello! so nice to meet you in the flesh. >> i know! >> stephen: i have spokenefore. you did a couple of bits on the old show. so nice to meet you. >> you, too. >> stephen: i'm a longtime fan. >> and i, as well. >> stephen: thank you very much. so "murphy brown" went off the air 20 years ago. it was an enormous cultural
artifact of its time. like, it was an important show because it was groundbreaking in its mixture of politics and topical news of the day and a weekly sitcom. what in today's politics could you possibly find to talk about? ( laughter ). >> it's a dessert. what can i say? we-- we-- we wouldn't have come back if the election had gone differently. so it's really the only thing that i owe the president is... ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: oh, okay. he might call that in. he might call in a favor. >> we're hoping he will. >> stephen: how has the television landscape changed in the last 20 years, ounk >> well "murphy brown," there was no social media. >> stephen: of course. >> and people still had respect for the press. they weren't the enemy of the people. so that's a big change. and so we're kind of trying to restore the respect for the press for certain parts... ( applause ).
>> stephen: sure, sure. now, this is the-- the new show is a morning show, right? >> yes, murphy and her colleagues-- it's the same core cast from 30 years ago. we went off the air 20 years ago. and we've added some three new cast members. who are-- one of them is tyne daily, and jake mcdormand, and they just fit right in immediately. >> stephen: now, murphy gets into a twitter war in the very first episode with the president of the united states. >> that's right. yes. ( laughter ) we wasted no time. >> stephen: no, no, because it's actually the most plausible storyline i can think of. >> yeah. ( laughter ). >> stephen: well, your character, murphy, also in the story has gone on a date with donald trump. but that's actually a story from your own life, i understand. did you go on a date...
( laughter ) candice bergen, with donald trump? -- >> stephen: and i remind you, you're under oath. ( laughter ). >> i was very young. ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay. >> i was about 18. and we're-- trump and i are about the same age. or as he would point out, i'm about six months older. and it was when i was at penn, and i remembered that it was-- i might have invented this because it's so perfect. but i think he was wearing a burgandy suit with burgandy vest and burgandy patent leather boots, and was in a burgandy limousine. so it was kind of a symphony in burgandy. >> stephen: he looked like a big bruise. ( laughter ). >> i was home very early. >> stephen: how did it come about? don't leave out any details. so... so he was at penn, too, right? >> no, he was not-- he was not a student at penn yet. >> stephen: okay.
so how did you meet him? how does a candice bergen meet a donald trump? >> you know, he was not donald trump then. he was donald trump. but he was just kind of, you know, a-- a guy. >> stephen: did you meet him at a party? >> i think he must have called me. i don't remember, really. >> stephen: you don't-- okay. he'd be so insulted to hear that. ( laughter ) well, you've also been on a democratic with henry kissinger, right? >> oh, god, it's like "the world's great conservatives." >> stephen: how did that come about? >> that came about because friends of my parents had a very small dinner for frank sinatra and his date, and henry kissinger, and i was his date, because they were friends of my parents. and he was late picking me up because the secret service couldn't find beverly hills. ( laughter ) and-- and-- but kissinger, you know, was, of course, highly intelligent, very charming. and it was a-- the dinner was just sort of like a mano a mano
between kissinger and sinatra. "i'm the most." "but i'm frank." and that's what it was, and then i was home. >> stephen: who was a better date, trump or kissinger? >> kissinger. >> stephen: another all right. ( applause ) well, our network, cbs fknows how to advertise things. and your name-- you-- you instagrammed or tweeted this thing out. you said, "another so i'm on the front of 5,000 of these suckers, and friends are complaining that i almost hit them." ( laughter ) your face is the last thing a lot of tourists will see in new york. ( laughter ). >> it's-- it's overwhelming. ( applause ) >> stephen: are they really complaining? >> i've gotten several emails from people, and my daughter gets them from people. and one of the buses was stopping in front of our apartment building the other day, and i asked my driver,
pauley, i said, "paul, stop, i want to take a picture of the bus." and so i jumped in front of the bus. ( laughter ) as much as someone my age can jump. and so i said to the driver, "that's me on the bus!" and she goes, "so?" ( laughter ) ( applause ) and then the light changed, and she said, "get out of the way!" >> stephen: that's what i like about new york. >> that's right. so much respect. >> stephen: well, you must have a certain-- at an early age come up with a blase attitude towards famous faces because for those of you, few people out there, who may not know, your farther was edgar bergen, who was the most famous ventriloquist in the world and a comedian in his own right. >> he was also the only ventril quest in the world. i mean, it's not a growing profession. >> stephen: he performed here in ed sullivan, right, back in
the day. >> he did, he did. >> stephen: and you had a child hoopped filled with famous people. this is you as a little girl with one of your father's dummies. ( laughter ) that's charlie mcdonald. >> that's correct, yes. >> stephen: in the background right there. so at what point did you realize you had an unusual childhood? >> actually, the older i get, the more i'm overcome with a kind of nostalgia for it. probably nine or 10. >> stephen: what was the sort of-- triggered it for you "not every kid has this?" >> well, frankly, as i got older and older, people would say, "you mean, fred astaire came to your house and danced with the guests?" and i said, "well, he was a guest at the party." and rex harrison was in town filming "my fair lady," and he came to the house for a party. >> stephen: and i understand walt disney was also a guest. >> walt disney was a very good
friend of the family, and was a lovely man. and he had a train in his backyard-- well, it was like eight acres, so it was more than a yard. and it was-- it was like a train this high. and you would sit on it, and it was on real tracks all over around his garden and a trestle bridge, and you would shovel coal into the little engine. and adults went nuts over this train. ( laughter ). >> stephen: i kind of want your childhood. now. >> it was good. it was really good. >> stephen: well, candice lovely to meet you. thank you so much for being here. "murphy brown" returns tomorrow at 9:30 on cbs. candice bergen, everybody! we'll be right back with new zealand prime minister jacinda ardern. ♪ ♪ i'm going to be your substitute teacher. don't assume the substitute teacher has nothing to offer... same goes for a neighborhood. don't forget that friendships last longer than any broadway run.
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a magical place... that's lookin' to get scared! (laughter) halloween time is back in disneyland and disney california adventure parks! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to "the late show." folks, "the new york times" has called my next guest the biggest thing to hit new zealand since frodo dropped the ring into mount doom. we'll see about that. eainisr of new zealand jacinda ardern. ( applause ) ♪ ♪ lovely to meet you.
thanks for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: just to get out your c.v. as quickly as possible. the youngest female world leader. you are the third female prime minister of new zealand. ladder of the labor party, and the second elected leader in history to have a baby while in office. >> that's right. >> stephen: and you actually-- ( cheers and applause ) who is this? is this neve? >> that's neve. >> stephen: this is a lovely shot. this is you at the u.n. with your baby. has any leader ever brought their baby to the u.n. before? >> no, i'm told it hasn't happened before. >> stephen: that's a first. >> everyone was making that noise about my partner, weren't they, right there? that's clarke. >> stephen: well, you address the general assembly tomorrow. >> yes, that's correct. >> stephen: and i understand you were on the floor of the general assembly, seated at the general assembly, when donald trump gave his address. >> i was. >> stephen: there was laughter near the top of it, which seemed
to surprise him. >> yes. >> stephen: and he says that people weren't laughing at him. they were laughing with him. what-- what-- did you experience? ( laughter ) as someone in the room? >> are you trying to create a diplomatic incident here right now? >> stephen: maybe i'm going to defuse one right now. there was a little laugh and there was a bigger laugh. >> so there was a little laugh. and he said, "i didn't expect that response." and then there was a bigger laugh, and people laughed with him. ( laughter ) the second -- >> stephen: on the second one. the second one people were laughing with him. >> yes. >> stephen: very nice. no war between the united states and new zealand then. >> no, peaceloving nation. >> stephen: the first lafl? the first lawful? >> the first-- the first laugh was a spontaneous murmur amongst-- ( laughter ) >> stephen: it was spontaneous! spontaneous among the people with each other. >> amongst themes. >> stephen: amongst themselves.
and you joined in? >> i observed. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: very well done, very well done. >> thank you. >> stephen: another so donald trump has imposed steel and aluminum tariffs all over the place. >> yes. >> stephen: does new zealand produce steel and aluminum? >> yes, we do, yes, we do. in the a large amount but we do. >> stephen: some. your friends in australia-- are you friends with australia? >> we're friends with australia. just that kind of friendly rivalry. >> stephen: sure. so your friends in australia got an exception. >> yes. >> stephen: to the tariff. did you guys get one? >> we did not. we're still working on it, though. >> stephen: okay. >> in fact i had a very brief encounter with the president at a reception as part of the general assembly week of events, and i did raise it with him. >> stephen: and how did that go? >> well, it was-- it was-- there was a slight distraction. my partner knocked over a flag pole which disrupted -- >> stephen: while you were talking to pump? >> right at the end of it.
i mentioned this-- he acknowledged we're still working on it-- and we are. and then-- then the flag went down. >> stephen: was it-- was it an american flag? >> i didn't catch which flag it was. clarke was scrambling to fix the situation. >> stephen: if security did not escort you to the border, then it was not an american flag. >> as i turned around he was holding this-- this-- what i can only describe as a long metal prong, which i think was the device that splays the flag. >> stephen: okay. >> and i'm surprised no one leapt on him at that point, because it looked like a weapon. >> stephen: you have an impressive resume, as i said before. but perhaps most impressive to me is that you are-- you could technically be described as a hobbit yourself. because i understand you grew up near hobbit town. >> i did. but i do find it slightly offensive that everyone thinks every new zealander starred in either "lorld of the rings" or "the hobbit." >> stephen: were you in "lord of the rings" or "hobbit." >> some of us auditioned but weren't successful, okay, is all
i'm going to say. >> stephen: did you really audition? >> i did, i did. >> stephen: i don't know if anybody told you, but i'm a little bit obsessed-- >> i heard that. the people of hobbit town have heard of this, and they contacted me today and said they would like to make you a citizen of hobbitton. so thank you. ( applause ) i asked-- i asked what that comes with. you get a mug. >> stephen: you get a mug? >> you get a mug. >> stephen: did you bring the paperwork? >> i have it in writing. actually, they're going to the official calligrapher for "the lord of the rings" and hobbiton, "the hobbit" write up your official invitation. so come to new zealand and we'll make the ceremony official. there's a direct flight from chicago, nice and easy. starting in november. >> stephen: we're in new york, though. i have to get to chicago. >> but it's close. we consider that close.
>> stephen: when does that start? >> the direct flights start in november but you can come any time. >> stephen: i wof love to come. we had flight of the concords on the show this week. and when they were here, i asked them if they had a question for you, and they roared a question. if you don't mind. >> sure. >> stephen: jim, can we play the questions the guys asked. >> hi, jacinda. >> we have an important question for you. can we come for dinner? ( laughter ) >> stephen: well? >> they picked me up from the airport, and i'm happy to have them over for dinner. >> stephen: if they pick you up from the airport when you get home. >> yeah, that would be handy. i've met them before. it's new zealand, so we all know each other. ( laughter ). >> stephen: well, jacinda, thank you so much for being here. if you don't mind me calling you by your first name. >> please. >> stephen: in new zealand, does everyone call you by your first name or do they call you madam prime minister. >> definitely not madam, but mostly jacinda. >> stephen: can people walk up
to you and talk to you in new zealand? >> yes, in fact i've had conversations in the most awkward situations, maternity bra shopping, grocery store. >> stephen: i don't, you would find donald trump doing that. >> maternity ternity bras. >> stephen: i don't think you would find him doing that. good luck with the tariffs and everything and good luck with the speech tomorrow. i hope everyone laughs. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> stephen: prime minister jacinda ardern, everybody. we'll be right back with a special performance by jon batiste. stick around. -hoo! the brands will surprise you. mwah! and every trip feels like an instant victory. woman: marshalls. never boring. always surprising.
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public education is definitely a big part of our job, to teach our customers about the best type of trees to plant around the powerlines. we want to keep the power on for our customers. we want to keep our communities safe. this is our community. this is where we live. we need to make sure that we have a beautiful place for our children to live. together, we're building a better california. a on jon i'm always happy you can come out here and do a new song for us. you have a new album. tell us what it's called. >> "hollywood africans. below of. >> stephen: where does that of that come from? >> a painting from 1983. >> i'm working on a musical headed to broadway. it's going to be great. ( applause )
>> stephen: tell me about recording the album. what was the process like. >> t bone burnett and i recorded it together in a church converted into a studio in my hometown. and we cut the lights out, completely pitch-black for about three days, and i tried to channel the heroes you know, nina simone, louis armstrong, charlie parker-- just trying to channel them. and, also, just become vulnerable in the room, and kind of let my truth come out of the instrument. >> stephen: was it spooky at all, because you're in a dark church? >> jon: it was kind of spooky. i could feel that there were some presences in the room. >> stephen: well what, document people to get from the album? >> man, these days things are very, very tough to deal with. and i want people to have a meditation that doesn't result in despair but hope. ( applause )
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be jeff bridges, cedric the entertainer, and author mark leibovich. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org. ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen,