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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  January 11, 2019 11:35pm-12:36am PST

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the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> have a great weekend! >> senate majority leader mitch the white house yesterday. >> why is senator mitch mcconnell not here? >> mitch mcconnell is nowhere to be found. >> and he, so far, has been missing in action. ♪ ♪ >> this is "planet washington." often, during a crisis of a government shutdown, the senate majority leader takes a leading role in negotiations. here we have senate majority leader mitch mcconnell enjoying his lunch. ( laughter ) what's this? it's the washington press corps. what a grand opportunity for mitch mcconnell to display
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leadership. and... he's gone. ( laughter ) >> mr. mcconnell, mr. mcconnell, can we get a comment? >> only on "planet washington." >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight all work and no pay. plus stephen welcomes curtis "50 cent" jackson and jamie oliver, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: whoo!
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hey, everybody! woo-hoo! woo-hoo! ( cheers and applause ) very nice! ( cheers and applause ) ( audience chanting ) >> stephen: oh, that's nice. mark! ( piano riff ) ( rim shot ) >> stephen: welcome, everybody! thank you so much! down here, out there, all around the world! ladies and gentlemen -- ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much! you're too kind! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy friday. ( cheers and applause ) of course, it's not a happy friday for many government workers because this is the first day they're not getting a paycheck due to the shutdown. in fact, t.s.a. agents have started calling in sick because they aren't getting paid, and
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now t.s.a. officers are actually quitting over the shutdown. things are so bad that people who spend half their day cupping strangers' testicles were like, "ah, i'm done!" ( laughter ) the f.b.i. agents association sent a letter to the white house and congress, saying, "the important work done by the bureau needs to be funded immediately." "this situation is not sustainable." (as trump): "wait. if the shutdown continues, the f.b.i. can't investigate me? ( laughter ) hello, chuck and nancy? i'd like to reopen negotiations. my first offer: eat my butt." ( laughter ) ( applause ) that's just an opening. "eat my butt" very popular with
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the people here. ( cheering ) the shutdown is bad news for fans of food, because "the f.d.a. has halted routine food inspections." so food companies are going to have to start adjusting their advertising. now kix cereal is just going to say, "kid tested..." ( laughter ) going to test everything on the kids nowch the staffing situation has gotten really bad at these inspection facilities. take a look at this security footage. ( laughter ) this is a great opportunity to get all your questionable food products on the market, like my "big raw mouth chews!" ( laughter ) not sure what animals are in there, but i can 90% guarantee they're dead. or how about "maybe potato." ( laughter ) it's the wrong color and has a beak for some reason, but it bakes like a potato. and finally, "trust us, it's not butter." ( laughter ) but the shutdown is affecting trump, because the white house
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hasn't been able to pay its bill ding the shutdown. (as trump): "no water? if only there were some other liquid i could splash myself with. call this number and ask for katarina and nadia." ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) ( applause ) allegedly. allegedly. one of the biggest agencies affected is the national weather service. apparently, forecasters aren't getting paid, and weather models aren't being maintained. and you can tell that it's starting to have an impact. just watch today's broadcast of "sunnyside up," with weather-woman tammy flowers. ♪ ♪ >> hi, this is tammy flowers with your weather and, unfortunately, we still don't have any information for ya, but it's winter. let's start there. cold time of year. um, rainy. uh, there can be snow and stuff,
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kids sled. you know what? let's go to the map. ♪ >> never mind. one thing i can tell you about this weather, eventually, it will go away -- as will we all. as will we all. okay, let's look at the five-day forecast! on monday, i won't be able to pay my child supports. that's right, sometimes moms leave, too. and that will hold all the way through the end of the week when hopefully i work up the guts to ask my parents for money. heading into the weekend, you're looking at 100% chance of me sobbing in my shower. back to you! >> stephen: stay strong, tammy. she's good. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: now, we've been focused on the government shutdown for trump's border wall, but there was also disturbing news this week about former trump campaign chairman and guy who just spotted a good place to bury the body, paul manafort.
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poorly redacted court filings indicate that, in 2016, manafort gave trump data to konstantin kilimnik, who's a russian spy. "now, your honor, i may just be a country lawyer, but back down on the bayou we used to call that collusion." ( laughter ) "i rest my -- i said i rest my case." ( cheers and applause ) thank you. thank you. ( piano riff ) later tonight, i'm doing the entirety of "inherit the wind." ( laughter ) plus, manafort instructed that spy to pass the polling data on to a couple of pro-russian politicians, namely, serhiy lyovochkin and rinat akhmetov. ( laughter ) i think i swallowed my tongue there for a minute.
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then after passing his polling data to his eastern bloc buddies, "manafort wrote to his accountant that he expected a payment of $2.4 million." young people, take note. if you want to pay off that student loan, change your major from "art history" to "treason." ( laughter ) evidently, a popular degree at trump university. ( laughter ) arthur flambeau! friend of yours, isn't he? >> jon: yeah, flambeau, man! >> stephen: but it turns out, but manafort isn't the only shady trump supporter having a big week. we also heard from iowa congressman and man asking if this klan robe makes his ass look fat, steve king.trr of, ic immigration policies. he was like the jackie robinson of thinking jackie robinsonbaba ( laughter ) king also pitched the idea of a border wall way before trump did, and even once took to the house floor to show off his
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homemade model of an electrified barbed wire wall. if you're looking to purchase some of steve king's other racist knickknacks, check out his crafting website, "natsi." ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: wow. >> stephen: takes a long time to deliver the stuff. ( applause ) yesterday, king gave this shocking quote to "the new york times." "white nationalist, white supremacist, western civilization-- how did that language become offensive?" wow. wow. ( audience reacts ) i did not know this stephen king is the horrifying one. ( laughter ) this is a sitting member of congress openly defending white supremacy. no wonder that this week it was announced that king will be challenged in next year's primary election. his opponent will be iowa state senator and frankenstein after accounting school, randy feenstra.
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according to feenstra, king is no longer fit to serve iowa because of his "caustic nature." yes, king is very caustic -- like bleach, in that they both want to turn everything white. ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show, curtis "50 cent" jackson is here. but when we come back, big oscar news! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) thisuh huhbag? well that's more than 3.4 ounces you're going to have to toss that... ...or just drink it here. hvr. you either love it or you really love it.
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[indistinct conversation] [friend] i've never seen that before. ♪ ♪ i have... ♪ a flutter of butterflies awaken your senses. we take a deep breath and say yes to forever.
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey, hey, hey, hey... >> stephen: you know who we have tonight? curtis "50 cent" jackson right there. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: who i always call
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half-dollar jackson. >> jon: is he okay with you calling him half-dollar jackson? >> stephen: we're going to find out tonight. i'm pretty excited it's friday because i thought it was thursday. >> jon: yeah, we're doing a lot of shows here. >> stephen: and sometimes i'm, like, i've got to work tomorrow, and i'm, like, no, you're done. this is your last day, you get to go home after this. because i live in the studio, that's what people don't know. i crawl underneath here and jon stewart and i just cuddle underneath the desk. >> jon: it's a tradition. >> stephen: yes. ( cheers and applause ) now that we've had a chance to catch up on the big stories from over the holidays, it's time to sweep up the little pine needles that dropped off the news tree, and bring them to you in our roundup of highly flammable debris that i call, "meanwhile." ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause )
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people love "meanwhile." meanwhile, after a lot of controversy and back-and-forth with kevin hart, no one will host the oscars. instead, oscar producers are planning to leave the spot empty and, instead, focus on clusters of top-tier talent to introduce different segments. which explains the new reality show, "america's got clusters of top-tier talent." ( laughter ) meanwhile, great news for fans of the sky because, this month, we will witness a super blood wolf moon! not to be confused with my goth dad band of the same name. we play saturday afternoons at the milford community center, if alan's wife doesn't need the minivan. ( laughter ) >> jon: come on, alan! >> stephen: and why is this called the "super blood wolf moon"?
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it's "super" because it's at its closest point in orbit, which makes it look bigger. it's a "blood moon" because diffracting light turns it red. and native americans named january's moon the "wolf moon" because in winter it would make wolves howl. and not, as i thought, because it is when wolf blitzer must slake his thirst for the blood of innocents. that's in march. jake tapper, you've been warned. meanwhile, great news for people who love progress because a new saudi arabia law requires women to be notified if their husbands divorce them to end secret divorces, where saudi men end a marriage without telling their wives. a custom known traditionally as "going out for cigarettes." ( laughter ) the new law requires women to be informed of their divorce by text message. ( laughter ) hopefully, a full sentence, and not just engagement ring, poop emoji. ( laughter )
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b.c.ertind reed thaa rarein you know your painting's bad when someone who licks their own anus for three hours a day doesn't like it. ( laughter ) i mean, the cat, not the historian. ( laughter ) the work in question was a painting by 17th century portrait artist john michael wright. i assume the portrait the cat went after was his duchess of hampstead with laser pointer. ( laughter ) according to the art expert, he was actually working on restoring the work of art when the cat launched itself at the painting before raking its claws down the middle of the portrait to leave a large gaping hole. the cat is reportedly expressing its remorse by dng whatever it wants, whenever it wants, and somehow demanding cuddles while also not allowing you to touch it. ( laughter ) meanwhile, in prophylactic news,
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durex is recalling batches of its "real feel" condoms. durex issued the recall in a statement, saying, "we apologize. everyone knows that condoms can never feel real. nothin' beats rawdoggin'." ( laughter ) might have made that up. >> jon: wow. >> stephen: we might have made that up, gentlemen. >> jon: yeah, i guess. >> stephen: true or not, we might have made it up. ( laughter ) durex assured customers that anyone who bought the recalled condoms can "return them to the place of purchase." to which the place of purchase responded: "please don't." ( laughter ) yeah, i'm done with these. yeah, these didn't work. will you take this one, too? >> jon: he don't want 'em! he don't want 'em! get so focused on the smaller stories
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in "meanwhile," i lose sight of the really small and airline-specific news stories, which i like to cover in my regular "meanwhile" segment-segment, "flight attention." ( bell ding ) good news for people whose favorite restaurant is a flight circling over laguardia, united airlines has released a cookbook so you can make airline food at home. ( audience reacts ) it's the perfect gift for the person who has everything and is also someone you hate. ( laughter ) the book contains 40 recipes that are served in united's business class. for the economy class recipes, you'll have to buy their other cookbook, "pretzels or cookies. you get one!" ( laughter ) next on "flight attention," as of january 1st, on frontier airlines, your flight attendant is now accepting tips. finally, a solution for the
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problem of flying frontier airlines and having no way to thank them for the amazing service. ( laughter ) as part of their new policy, frontier's flight attendants won't pool their gratuities. now it's every man and woman for themselves. which is also what it says in the frontier safety pamphlet. ( laughter ) we'll be right back with curtis "50 cent" jackson! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! nice. ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is a business mogul who once rapped about a "bottle full of bub" and is now releasing his own line of champagne.
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please welcome back to the "late show," curtis "50 cent" jackson! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: good to see you again. >> man, it's good to be back. >> stephen: nice to have you back. ( cheers and applause ) now, we had you on almost exactly a year ago on the show. >> yeah. >> stephen: this is 50 cent week at "late show" every year. we'll book you for next year now. i'm not entirely comfortable calling you 50 or fitty. i call you half-dollar jackson. anybody else call you that? >> no. >> stephen: just me. good. whowrhow were your holidays? >> it was good. it starting slow around
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christmas. >> stephen: you got no presents? >> i got me presents. >> stephen: you took care of you? what did yet >> i went car shopping, like, at the last minute. >> stephen: really? what did you? >> i got the new ferrari 488. >> stephen: i didn't know there was a new ferrari. a good one? >> yes, i got the lamborghini. >> stephen: so you have both. you know you can't race yourself, right? >> i know, i know. >> stephen: and what else? what's its name, the rolls royce. >> stephen: yeah, i've heard of that one. >> stephen: what kind of rolls royce did you get? >> the color, the new truck, the jeep. >> stephen: they have a rolls royce jeep? >> suv, yeah. >> stephen: so just three cars, wil huh? that's all you got yourself for christmas? >> i got the dawn, the convertible. >> stephen: you got two rolls royces? >> it just looked so good, i wanted it.
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you got two rolls royces? >> yeah, i got the convertible and the truck. summertime, the truck ain't gonna be as cool as it is now. ( laughter ) >> stephen: did you do one of those things where you actually park them outout in the driveway with big bows on it, you wake up and act surprised? like the commercial? >> who did this for me?! ( laughter ) >> stephen: did you give to anybody else? >> i gave away a lot of presents prior to that, but i didn't give cars or knotting. >> cars are for you. how many cars do you have now, may i ask? >> i had three cars before i went to get those. >> stephen: you only had three and now you have six. >> now i'm going to move them. a little bit in atlanta, a little bit in new york, a little bit in l.a. >> stephen: did you buy yourself new houses to put the cars in? >> i don't want a big house no more. i experienced that with the tyson mansion, 55,00refoot.>> se
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tyson's mansion? i didn't know that. >> you look down the hallway. whenever youo down the hallway in your house and you don't want to go down there -- >> stephen: because it's so long? >> you go, i don't know care what's going on down there, i don't want to go over there. >> stephen: it's like "the shining," like haunted house. >> and things would break because you didn't use it. >> stephen: the house is so big things fell apart because you didn't use them? >> light would flicker them. ( laughter ) like a party space, an event space. >> stephen: do you throw good parties? >> i'm the best. >> stephen: i'm not fishing here, i'm just saying i've never been invited to one of your -- one of your parties, uh, half-dollar. ( laughter ) >> i do something in monaco. >> stephen: he just did something in monaco. monaco, huh? >> threw a little party south of
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france, i was doing it real big, like a different climate, different energy, you know. people, like, came on boats. they really was -- >> stephen: do you like the south of france? i've never been. >> it's really cool, man. >> stephen: what makes it -- people say, oh, let's go to the south of france, like it's the best place. >> no, just -- >> stephen: just rich people, okay. do you like hanging out with rich people? they can be boring sometimes. >> sometimes you get the wrong rich people ( laughter ) >> stephen: and you would know better than i, how do you tell the right rich people from the wrong rich people? >> when they talk to you, you're in the right circle. >> stephen: oh, okay. you're thinking, well -- they're thinking, well, who is this guy? >> stephen: oh, that's the wrong rich people. >> they're snobby. i don't care if you've got money. i've got money, too, folks. >> stephen: wow.
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you got kids? >> yeah. >> stephen: hard to raise kids when you are super rich and going to the south of france and everything like that? >> well, everything's easier when you've got money. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that was a stupid question. >> yeah. >> stephen: that was a stupid question. money does not buy happiness but it does not drive it from your door, necessarily. that's true, okay. >> you have an in-house nanny. >> stephen: i've got to get one of those. you know, i understand -- i don't know if i heard this from you last time or just read this, that you have a crush on helen mirren. >> yeah, she's sexy. >> stephen: yeah, she's very sexy. >> yeah. >> stephen: do you know, and i'm not bragging here, i'm just speaking the truth. do you know i have made out with hillen mirren? >> i saw she kissed you on the mouth. >> stephen: yeah. ( laughter ) was that hard for you to watch knowing you have a crush on
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helen mirren but i have kissed helen mirren? >> i was just wondering how your wife felt about that. ( audience reacts ) stephe't know. let's find out. jimmy, show it again, let's see what's happening here. ♪ ♪ ( cheering ) >> you see that? she knew what she was doing. >> stephen: she knows what she's doing. >> yeah. >> stephen: i did not know it was going to happen, by the way. >> it's like the older hollywood thing. it's that super confidence in there it makes them so sexy, it's unbelievable. yeah, when i ran into her, it's the south of france in monaco. >> stephen: you ran into helen mirren in the south of france? >> yeah, i saw her, but her husband was there, he was, like,
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there on the side. >> stephen: she needs to trade up? >> yeah, i'm focused, man. i don't see none of that stuff, man. >> stephen: she needs to get herself a rolls royce. >> hey, hey... >> stephen: you taught me how to beef last time you were here. who was i beefing with, bobby flay. >> but you didn't really start the beef because you're number one. number one, you have to wait for somebody to come or you appear to be a bully. that's what they call me, a bully. >> stephen: you let them beef >>he sayanu'mbn, die? ( laughter ) >> stephen: i've got to write this stuff down. you had a beef -- or have a beef with ja rule? >> that's old school. >> stephen: wait, i understand in october you did something to get back at ja rule. please tell the people what you did? >> i bought, like, the first four rows in his concert. ( laughter )
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>> stephen: you bought the first four rows in his concert? >> yeah, they was, like, on grew upon for 15 does. it wasn't no big deal. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: so you go on groupon. were you just on groupon or just see it or hear it was on groupon? >> no, they was showing me the stuff on there, my sister. i said, yo, they put concert tickets on there? i said, how much are the tickets? fifteen dollars? i said, okay, give me the first four rows. >> stephen: how many seats is that? that has to be, like, 200 seats. >> it was, like, $3,000. >> stephen: so there were no one in his first four rows of his concerts? >> that tests your showmanship. when you come and nobody's in the front seats, you've still got to perform like everybody's here. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you do not want to ( bleep ) with you.
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( laughter ) that is beautiful. my god, that's beautiful. we have to take a break. >> don't go away. we'll be right back with more curtis "50 cent" jackson, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) my copd medicine... ...that's why i've got the power of 1-2-3 medicines with trelegy. the only fda-approved 3-in-1 copd treatment. ♪ trelegy. the power of 1-2-3 ♪ trelegy 1-2-3 trelegy with trelegy and the power of 1-2-3, i'm breathing better. trelegy works 3 ways to... ...open airways,... ...keep them open... ...and reduce inflammation... ...for 24 hours of better breathing. trelegy won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. trelegy is not for asthma. tell your doctor if you have a heart condition or high blood pressure before taking it. do not take trelegy more than prescribed. trelegy may increase your risk of thrush, pneumonia, and osteoporosis. call your doctor if worsened breathing, chest pain, mouth or tongue swelling,.. ...problems urinating, vision changes, or eye pain occur. think your copd medicine is doing enough?
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>> yeah. >> stephen: and now you've got a new champagne. >> yeah. >> stephen: okay. there you go, right there. ( audience reacts ) what is this here called, the champagne? >> it's called le chemin du roi, the king's path. >> stephen: is this actual champagne from france? >> yeah. >> stephen: it's all shiny and picks up fingerprints. >> hey. >> stephen: it really does. it's a high maintenance bottle right there. can we try it again? >> yeah. >> stephen: why champagne? i mean, because it's a victory, right. it's the celebration. >> stephen: what did you say? it's the taste of victory, the celebration drink. >> stephen: i've heard you call this, this is only for winners. >> yeah, winners only. i'm a light weight, anyway. i can't be drinking hard liquor because i will be walking around and i see things different after i drink. ( laughter ) i drink hard liquor, i start looking over and go, what? everything. music is different now.
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a guy put out one song, he thinks he's in the music business, he only puts out one song. but they go, what have you done for me lately? they got one song playing, they got on the sound cloud. that's yours because you put your finger in it. ( laughter ) it wasn't saying it wasn't. >> hey... >> stephen: thank you very much. mm-mm-mm! cheers. well, here's to the winners. >> hey. >> stephen: what do the losers drink? >> other stuff like moet and -- ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: cristal? this one i had to partner with someone to create this. >> stephen: that's delicious. it's been 8how much will it run?
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>> $160. >> stephen: that's the chess piece. that's the king. >> king. >> stephen: that's fantastic. i want to drink a little bit. >> it's like a bottle of dom perignon, but it's been aged four years. it's better. >> stephen: you're a man who knows what he likes, obviously. >> yeah. >> stephen: we would like to get your thoughts in a segment. we're calling 50's two cents. ( applause ) >> you see that? you don't even really blow up until you start having your own segments and stuff. >> stephen: that's true. by the way, is there anything you can't sell because you've sold everything. anything you can't sell? >> hair care products. >> stephen: hair care products? >> yeah, i'm no box. >> stephen: you've got nice hair, though. >> i'm just not going to do that. ( laughter ) >> stephen: all right. here we go.
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just give me your two cents. these are hot takes. ready? how long is it okay to keep your christmas tree up? >> one week. one week. >> stephen: one week? i think after new year's you take it down. >> stephen: good call. who pays on a first date? >> who pays? >> stephen: who pays on the first date? >> whoever's idea it was to go on the date. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: can crocks ever be cool? >> no, not even if balinciaga makes 'em. >> stephen: nicki minaj or cardi b? ( audience: cardi b! >> audience member: don't do it! ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: you want to pass? yeah. >> stephen: okay, you only get one pass. what's the best cereal?
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>> cookie crisp. >> stephen: do you believe in ghosts? >> yeah. >> stephen: they're down that hallway you don't want to go down, down there. ( laughter ) would you go to mars if it meant leaving behind your car collection? >> if there was something cooler there that they can show me in advance. >> stephen: that's waiting for you like a mars rover or something like that. okay. is a hot dog a sandwich? >> no, it's just -- no, that's not a sandwich. >> stephen: what is it? it's a hot dog. ( laughter ) >> stephen: say ale. ( ughter ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: "le chemin du roi" is available now. 50 cent, everybody! we'll be right back with celebrity chef jamie oliver. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) [sneezing]
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>> stephen: hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back to "the late show"! folks, my next guest is a world-renowned chef and restaurateur who hails from across the pond. please welcome, jamie oliver! jamie, good to see you again. >> thank you so much for having me back! good to be here. >> stephen: happy new year. happy new year. >>we have a little roseé wine to kick iten: off. e i associate roseé with the summertime. is it okay to drink it in the winter? >> go for it all year around. >> stephen: is that right? it's all good. >> stephen: we're going to drink and cook with the roseé. >> that's correct, america. >> stephen: there is a word for that, a problem. >> we call it in england a double pleasure. >> stephen: what are we make tonight? >> before we get sweet, how is january going for you, sir? >> stephen: just fantastic. i had every intention to be dry and came back to work.
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>> thirteen years, i've promised to do it and i broke yesterday. plane was late. >> stephen: 13 years you promised to do it and every year you've done it or failed? >> the latter. ( laughter ) yeah, but there you go. >> stephen: we've got a new book here called -- i don't know where to put this. there you go. it's called "5 ingredients." >> yes. >> stephen: i'm going to guess every recipe has five ingredients. >> five is the magic number. this after 20 years of publishing and writing, it's taken me 20 years to get to the point that gets the most amount of people looking. get the shopping list short, keep it quick and easy, flavor big and have a lot of fun. >> stephen: a lot of people say i'm going to cook more and healthier. >> yes. >> stephen: is this a healthy book? >> seventy% of it is healthy. we have desserts we'll show you a little later. >> stephen: okay. do you want to do some cooking,>>terphen: yes. br?othe
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can i help? >> we have five ingredients. we have roseé wine, some beautiful shrimp, garlic, pasta and pesto. >pesto. don't be afraid to use a jar. >> stephen: one of the five ingredients is a jar of other ingredients? >> yes. >> stephen: that's cheating! this book has done over 2 million copies. it's relating to people. we want flavor and convenience. don't be afraid to use jars. >> stephen: that's like saying five ingredients -- salt, pepper, olive oil and a reservation at a restaurant. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> no, no, no, you need recipes to suit you monday to thursday. you need big flavor, minimum effort. you're busy, trying to juggle kids. >> stephen: roseé pesto shrimp pasta. >> we're going in with the garlic. color happening there.
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on the shrimp, you peel it, you can get them done for you, if you want, but take some whole prudence in there -- >> stephen: why are you leaving the tails on the shrimp? i'm from shrimp country and i'm here to tell you, we never leave the tails on the shrimp. >> i use shrimp in many different ways. first of all, they make fantastic finger guards. secondly, the flavor is in the head, we're browning first. we'll take them by the tail and eat it. so maximum flavor and texture and the whole ones look sexy when you cook it. give me tossing action there. oh, very good! come on! ( cheering ) come on! so what we're going to do is we're going to get nice, fresh pasta or angel hair pasta. get color happening, and the minute the garlic starts to turn the color, then we're going back to your best friend and we're going to put a little vulnerable swig in there. >> stephen: okay, roseé.
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that's nice. cook that away. ( applause ) >> stephen: it's all sterile. it's all sterile. ( cheering ) >> merry christmas. no, happy new year. we'll cook that away and go in with the pesto. it's very subtle and nice. we call this a blushing dish. as this comes up to heat, we wait for this to cook. we'll get that frying. >> stephen: yep. we give that a little stir. >> stephen: d do you put salt or oil in the water? >> never oil. >> stephen: why no oil? you do that in hotels when you cook hundreds of portions. when you do that, just a little salt in the water. >> stephen: how salty? the ocean? >> about that. but most of it will go down the drain. >> stephen: one-half ocean. a sprinkling. about this much. >> stephen: what's a pinch? by the way, what's a pinch? is this a pinch? what's a pinch?
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because i've heard a pinch is like that. >> no, that's not a pinch. >> stephen: what's that? the first one was with a pinch. >> stephen: this is a pinch? yeah. >> stephen: okay, we're good. we'll toss this and go in with the pasta and toss again. the residual water is very important. because we're going to get that in there, add nice olive oil and we want to dress that beautiful pasta and order the flavor. come on, let's have a nice tossing again. that's beautiful. and let's get -- he's good! >> stephen: let's get it. and we'll get in there like that, very nice. you can take the head out, get the flavor from that, and then get it on here. >> stephen: oh. and that's simple. >> stephen: mm-mm-mm. twiddle it. >> stephen: twiddle it? yes. >> stephen: that means something different on this side of the pond, my friend. hold on, now.
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mmm! >> now, you good? >> stephen: oh, that was really ( bleep ) hot. >> yeah. ( laughter ) and good, though! so good. >> it's tasty, right? >> stephen: so good. and we've got a beautiful dessert. >> stephen: what have you got? do you want that or that to be dessert. >> stephen: i'll take both. this is a tatatan. we have maple syrup, puff pay industry and the ice cream. it's a really simple, delicious, impressive dessert. >> stephen: and you can find all of itn jamie oliver "5 ingredients"! jamie oliver, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playi
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, that's it for "the late show," everybody! join us next week when my guests will be jake gyllenhaal, james mcavoy, and sarah pauln. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org
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( band playing ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late late show >> reggie: ladies all the way from oompa loompa

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