Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  August 1, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

11:35 pm
captioning sponsored by cbs >> its u.s. official telling krrk nn that north korea is believed to have launched two short range ballistic missiles today similar to the missiles test fired by kim jung-un's regime earlier this week. >> greetings imperialist swine. now that my missile testing has gotten your attention, i want to announce that i too am running for democratk candidate for president. i have as good as a shot as john delaney. i like to say the opposite of donald trump, is an asian man
11:36 pm
whose father loved him. i have much am common with frontrunner joe biden. i too have a famous black friend. also i am in the best position to defeat donald trump because i have already won over his voting bloc. now please join my campaign, go to jong 30330. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. stephen welcomes meek mill! and nicholas braun, with a special appearance by democratic debate all-stars featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert!
11:37 pm
(cheers and applause). >> stephen: hey there. (applause). >> stephen: welcome, everybody, thanks so much, up here, down there. welcome. one and all, ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages. to the late show, i'm your host stephen wol better. and we are live, not tonight. we were live the last two nights. following the democratic debate. here live shows, ton of fun, a lot of energy. but we are doing the show, about the thing that just happened, minutes before, we don't have time for a lot of complex analysis of what you have just seen it is really just hot takes, okay. but now with some reflection, after 4 to 48 hours to digest what happened, i can confidently say what happened?
11:38 pm
(laughter) i mean also-- (applause) also, also why happened? i mean it is 20 people. and if i am generous six of them should be up therement i'm looking at aw steve bullock, i think could be michael bennet, it's hard to tell. because here is the deal. networks have a vested interest in et going the candidates to fate with each other for the drama. so front runners stand up there, and get brutally horsewhipped for hours while the man democrats really want them to ak ta, dn ald trump is barely mentioned. but you know ho has the courage to talk about donald trump? donald trump. and right now, right now-- (applause) i will catch you up on his latest mouse sounds. in tonight's chopper talk.
11:39 pm
earlier this evening, late this afternoon. >> hi, jon. >> jon: late this afternoon, this evening, this evening is the rally, right, this evening trump held a rally in cincinnati. so for once chili on spaghetti was not the most disgusting thing in town. and st is was trump's first rally since his audience chanted "send her back" about congresswoman ilan-- ilhan omar. fun fact, she's still here. so-- (applause). >> stephen: so one reporter had a simp will question. >> are you prepared. >> i don't know what is going to happen, you i can tell you this, i am going to since nationallee,
11:40 pm
the arena is a very large one and we've sold it out. and we can sell it out probably ten times from what i hear. >> stephen: i've got one thing, and one thing only to say about those terrible racist chan, they really put the asses in the seats. >> stephen: trump continued, trump continued to not answer the question. >> i can't tell you whether or not they're going to do that chanted. if they dot clant, we will have to stee what happens. >> will you stop it? >> i done know that you can stop people. >> stephen: i mean what am i going to do, tell my whole audience to go back where they came from. that is not what america is about, folks. then the reporter-- (applause) then the reporters persisted in their persisting. >> do you have a message for them now, before they. >> i do have a message, my message is for the people, do
11:41 pm
you know what my message s i love them. and i think they love me. i actually think they love me. >> stephen: they love me, they really love me. or they really hate mexicans, you know. potatoe burrito. in the aftermath. (applause) in the aftermath of last night's debate, everyone's po kussing on the performance of frontrunner joe biden. >> biden did well enough to stop some of the fears. but not to give people that overwhelming confidence this is our dpie. >> i think bied endid okay. >> he did just fine. >> he did well enough, was he amazing, was he perfect, was he entirely consistent? no. >> stephen: okay, there you have it. democrats have gone from yes, we can. to that will do. i will take it. i'll talk it. i'm fawn with that. >> you like that.
11:42 pm
>> i'm fain with that. but there is 34re7b9 plenty of time, right. the election is still 126 months away, you have to have a lot of people at first, right. it's like sea turtles hamping on a beach, okay. lots of birds srk willing overhead but there are thousands of them, one of them has to make it to the water. plus it's going to be so fun to watch those birds drag off bill de blasio. >> jon: oh, oh! (applause) dz circumstance-- . >> stephen: srk elf life. and the race is going to get even more contentious, as reuters put it, joe biden and elizabeth warren are two high speed trains on a collision course and you did not want to challenge joe biden to a train fight. it is his natural habitat. some candidates are trying to claim vic real estate for the debates. for instance tim ryan clearly thought he scored a point here against bernie sanders over
11:43 pm
emission standards. >> i didn't say we couldn't get there until 2024, bernie. you don't have to yell. >> yes, i do! i do have to yell, especially after the early bird special, yelling is the only thing that keeps me awake. and-- the i will have the honeymoon salad, lettuce, no dressing. >> stephen: yesterday ryan's campaign tweeted out a new campaign motto, you don't have to yell. congressman ryan, you don't have to run. if you go to ryan's website you can even get a you don't have to yell sticker. order ship within seven business days so order now and get yours the day after he drops out. now after last night, was it just last night. >> yeah, that was last night. >> after last night tulsi
11:44 pm
gabbard was the most searched candidate on google, although joe biden was the most searched on rotary (laughter) thank you very much. there is also some good flus for cory beerk. he may not have increased his donations ten fold. we just learned that jon bon jovi will host a cory booker fundraiser at his hampton home. makes sense, makes sense, after all booker's campaign is living on a prayer! ♪ and booker really needs that fund raise are because since he is polling below 2% he's not even. ♪ halfway there. ♪ oh. ♪ of course considerree book
11:45 pm
certificate not the only one with big fancy celebrity friends. right before the debate bernie sanders sat down with hip-hop superstar cardi b. she must be feeling the cardi bern because the two got together to film a 2020 presidential campaign video meant to appeal to young vote ares. >> donald trump is a billionaire without does not care about the american twerking class. (laughter) >> i make my money move. >> stephen: thank you very much. this unlake leigh celebrity friendship began in 2018 when cardi b name checked one of brnie sander's heros in a gq interview saying fdr is the real make america great again president because it t if it wasn't for him old people wouldn't even get social security. yeah. no surprise a rapper loves fdr. we all remember the famous rap battle of the bulge when roosevelt defeated m.c. hitler.
11:46 pm
(laughter) yeah, sure, sure, why not. very few people know that. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: very few people know that. >> jon: don't hurt him. too legit to quit. >> stephen: please hitler, don't hurt him. the video is not out yet but cardi b posted this photo of the two hanging out in a high end nail salon. >> cardi, i want you to know i believe in mani pedi care for all. >> stephen: sometimes-- (applause) sometimes all the political stories are so upsetting as they are frequently, jon, as you know, it can be disspiritting sometimes to be out here talking about all the crazy things going on. sometimes you have to talk about something else in the news. unfortunately that is jeffrey epstein. and we just learned that the alleged sexual predator and alleged multimillionare apparently had an interest in cryonics. and told people that he wanted
11:47 pm
his head and penis to be frozen. you know what, if jeffrey epstein wants to cut off his head and his penis and have him frozen, i say give the man what he wants. i mean who are we, who, who are we? to stand in the way of this man's dream. although if anybody-- you have to remember, do not store your heads and your penis in the same freezer bag, okay. and you end up having to run them under hot watt tor separate them. an just pop them in the micromicrowave, pop it it in the mimewave and hit reheat penis, there you go. don't use the popcorn button. not even on popcorn of thely, says right on the back. why is there a popcorn button, you are asking. >> i don't know. >> epstein had other really weird science interests including funding fort des to identifies a mysterious particle that might trigger the feelings that someone is watching you.
11:48 pm
actually scientists did discover that. it is called met. we have a great show for you tonight. meek mill is here. when we return. ♪. >> the late show with stephen colbert sponsored by panera, food as it it should be, order online today. they make everything better. like our strawberry poppyseed salad and new strawberry summer caprese salad. order online for delivery. panera. food as it should be s before she puts them in the dishwasher. so what does the dishwasher do? (vo) cascade platinum does the work for you. prewashing and removing stuck-on foods, the first time. (mom) wow! tt'ea (vo) cascade platinum.
11:49 pm
wireless network claims are america's most reliable network. the nation's largest and most reliable network. the best network is even better? best, fastest, best. enough. sprint's doing things differently. they're offering a new 100% total satisfaction guarantee. i mean i think sprint's network and savings are great, but don't just take my word for it. try it out and decide for yourself. switch and get both an unlimited plan with hulu and one of the newest phones included for just $35 a month. for people with hearing loss, visit but one blows them allmany moisturizers... out of the water. hydro boost with hyaluronic acid to plump skin cells so it bounces back... neutrogena® and try our hydrating makeup.
11:50 pm
♪ don't stop, i can't feel the heat ♪ ♪ yet don't let it catch you whoa! ♪ i can't feel the heat
11:51 pm
11:52 pm
>> stephen: hey, everybody, give it up for jon the batiste, stay human, right over there, killing it, killing it every night. (applause).
11:53 pm
>> stephen: jon, you know, i'm excited, meek mill is here tonight, he will be out here am just a moment. >> jon: yes, yes. >> stephen: you know what else i am looking forward to, jon. >> jon: what is that. >> stephen: you know the residency vanguard, superspelings to see t was an amazing performance, how many nights. >> six nights in a row. >> stephen: i think i saw maybe the last night. >> jon: the last night. >> stephen: very special. i just wish everybody out there could have seen and heard that performance that you guys put together. it was amazing, once in a life time thing to have heard you gies play. >> thank you. i love playing. >> stephen: jon has some good news, because you can, tomorrow the album drops, anatomy of angel jon batiste at the village vanguard. >> jon: hey, there st. look how cool. >> stephen: thank you. look how cool that is.
11:54 pm
>> jon: yeah. >> stephen: can you give me one scoop of your cool, please, you need to cool me up a little bit. >> jon: you already there, you already already there. >> jon: i done know about, that con the gratlations, look forward to hearing it. >> jon: thank you so much. >> stephen: i spent so much time cur rating the news stories of the day to carefully plan the spectacular destination wedding that is my monologue but sometimes i like to get drunk and wander threw newstown and pick up whatever forgotten stories look my way, stand by the highway, stick out my thumb and elope with the drifter of news that is my segment "meanwhile." (applause). >> jon: that's right, that's right, gret in there get in the car and ride. >> stephen: meanwhile, in senior news, a woman who just turned 107 years old shared her secret to longevity, i never got
11:55 pm
married. and you never will with that attitude, missy. come on, the biological clock is tick iting. meanwhile, a tennessee woman came home to find an intruder in her clothes making dinner and drinking her wine. why do all the good crimes happen to other people? i would love to come home and discover someone else had taken over my life. i would be like heads up, you need to call comcast about the router, it is on the fritz, also you have an colonoscopy coming up and you are at an age where you really should be think being that. you know, here is the deal, sometimes i get so focused on the smaller stories and meanwhile i lose sight of the really small. and airline specific nuses stories which i like to cover in my regular meanwhile subsegment, flight attention.
11:56 pm
(applause) pleen while, passengers on a southwest flight were surprised when they opened up the overhead compartment and found that a flight attendant had climbed inside. video of the incident immediately went viral and there she is, hello! (laughter) all right, folks, welcome to denver, please be careful when opening its overhead bins as items may have shifted during flight. also watch out for dianne, she is insane. and she is a biter. on spirit airline thras is actually krdz economy plus-- actually considered economy plus. next up-- that's comfortable. that actually looks really comfortable to he me. next up on flight attention, in
11:57 pm
minneapolis a delta pilot was removed from a fully boarded plane and arrested on sus pegs of being intoxicated. you can't get hammered before you fly a plane. it's not a swret ski. -- jet ski, while waiting to get on the plane the arrested pilot saw there was a screening procedure happening and ducked out of line to the men's room where a 1.75 liter bottle involve ka was found in a trash can. well, of course he had to throw it out. it was over 3 ounces. well, this, this obviously grossly reckless and left the plane without a pilot. luckily, the airline found a replacement when we come back, my staff has some questions for the democratic candidates. what are they? (applause) harge?
11:58 pm
yeah battery charging. ♪ ♪ thank you so much. battery charging. ♪ ♪ miles and miles and miles. ♪ chasing a dream only fools like me would follow. ♪ i'm just go with the flowing ♪ no matter where i am going ♪ and i got no plans on slowing down. jeremy. jeremy, you ready to go? ♪ i'm a nomad, nomad... jeep compass. freedom to do it all. delivered to your car door so you can do
11:59 pm
more refill. more recharge. more relax. target run and done. and let's make it work.pens, grab those command strips they hold strong with a peel, stick, and press. and with that college life begins. i said, college life begins. oh dear, let's take that down damage free. stretch release and look no marks no mess, much more you. command. do. no harm. ♪ here i go again on my own
12:00 am
♪ goin' down the only road i've ever known ♪ ♪ like a drifter i was-- ♪ born to walk alone! ...barb! you left me hangin' on the high harmony there. if you ride, you get it. geico motorcycle. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more.
12:01 am
12:02 am
>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. folks, well, this latest round of democratic debate is finally over. it felt a little like thanksgiving dinner. everyone was fighting, it was way too long and at the end grandpa asked everyone to call him. but even after two nights there is still so much we don't know about these candidates. in fact, many staff members here at the late show wish they had a chance to ask the candidates just one question, so i let them do just that. this is the late show's just one question. >> why did you decide to run.
12:03 am
>> i love my country. and i know we are better than this. >> i think i'm one of millions of people asking deep down how could i possibly help. how could my skill set possibly be of use. and this is what i came up with. >> if you had to name just one policy issue that you believe is the most important what would it be. >> probably the most important one is climate change because it represents an existential threat to our country and our world. >> what are your top 20 favorite words. >> oh, my top favorite words, love, kindness, tenderness, beauty. >> how many of the the other democratic candidates can you name. >> hmmmm, okay, so there is cory and kirsten and elizabeth and bernie and i think there say darryl, is there a darryl? is there a darryl. i think there is a darryl in
12:04 am
there. >> compassion, nature, a few names of people that i don't want to say. >> you were a bomba's secretary of housing and urban development, what do you think of it the imie currently doing that job. >> no one is currently doing that job. >> i thought it was ben carson. >> exactly. >> babies did i reach 20 yeet? >> you have been commended for your questioning during congressional harrings, how hard is that to do? >> excuse me, i'm asking the the questions here. >> no, i was specifically told i got to ask you a question. >> is that a yes or a no. >> to what? >> yes? or no? >> yes. >> i yield back the balance of my time. >> i would like to ask about an issue that is very important to me. do you believe in ghosts? >> i believe that there are many dimensions of experience beyond what the eyes can see.
12:05 am
>> how about vampires. >> aw vampire to me is a description of a force of consciousness. but do i believe that there is a force of consciousness within all of us that is filled with fear and takes forms that are dark in human relationships, yes, i do. >> wait, so that is a yes? >> next question. >> let me ask you this. as president mow would you handle independence day. >> well, i know one thing, i wouldn't make it all about myself the way donald trump tried to. >> no, i mean like the movie, independence day. how would you save us from an alien invasion. >> well, for that i would consult an expert. >> julian, thank you, yes, yes, you came to the right guy. here is what you do, i thought a lot about this. and here is exactly what you do. you upload a computer virus to the alien mothership, of course. but, and this is important. you have got to use a macbook
12:06 am
from 1996. >> awesome. >> can you say something positive about donald trump? >> i'm pos it tiff he should not be president. (applause). >> stephen: we'll be right (applause). >> stephen: we'll be right back with meek mill. ♪ (applause). >> stephen: we'll be right we all care about amazing taste. that's why we've been making the best mayonnaise for over 100 years. best foods. we're on the side of food.
12:07 am
12:08 am
( ♪ ) only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol®. for fast pain relief. ♪ no i, i can't feel the heat ♪ yet don't let it catch you ♪ i can't feel the heat - ok who... - iall of us.old navy? his stripes, her dots, my spots, it's all old navy honey. - really? - we cool? - yea. we're cool. styles at two, four, six and eight bucks! all kids and baby on sale up to sixty percent off. - now at old navy. - what just happened? colon cancer screening for people 50 and older at average risk. i took your advice and asked my doctor to order cologuard, that noninvasive colon cancer screening test.
12:09 am
the delivery guy just dropped it off. our doctor says it uses advanced science. it's actually stool dna technology that finds 92 percent of colon cancers. no prep, and private. colon cancer screening that's as easy as get, go, gone. ask your doctor if cologuard is right for you. covered by medicare and most major insurers.
12:10 am
12:11 am
>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to the show leer on the cbs television network. ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is a rap are and an activist with a new documentary series called "free meek." please welcome to the late show meek mill. (applause) how are you doing? >> i'm doing well, thanks for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: you had a really significant week this mast week. >> yeah. >> stephen: explain to the the people, sort of succinctly as you can, what happened 12 years ago and this fight you have been having to get a new shot at a trial for the last 12 to 13 years. >> basically when i was 19 years
12:12 am
oldk i am 32 years oldk i come from north philadelphia. (applause) i come from i would say like the hood part of north philadelphia, you know, out of poverty, you know, kind of like pockets of bad environments. and i was actually brought up in one of them environments a and being at the wrong place at the wrong time i was falsely accused of a lot of charges. i got found guilty of all charges. i'm 32 years old now, have i never been back to prison for crime and probation has sent me back to prison three or four time was committing a crime. >> stephen: you went in, you had a short sentence original leigh. >> it wasn't a short, a year ain't short. >> stephen: my apologies. a noarks i know, any length of time is wrong. >> yeah. >> stephen: but you had a relatively to some other sentences, relatively short. and because of prot base system, any minor infraction in the the last 12 years, you go right back. >> yeah. for those not familiar, it could be like making a u-turn, police
12:13 am
contact is actually a technical violation, they call it tech nal violation because st not actually committing crime. but going over the new jersey brej is a technical violation, police contact. >> stephen: because you are leaving the area you are supposed to be living in. >> if you cross the line, in philadelphia you go to the mall in-- you might cross the county line without knowing you crossed the county line and are you in technical violation. or just traveling, taking your kids to disney world like a regular thing, it restrictions you from a lot of things. >> stephen: so you are out of jail but in some ways not fully free. >> yeah, i just looked at it as telling someone like me, you have to think about the average person, i am in the music industry, making millions of dollars, mi able to provide for my family. have i a job. i provide jobs for people, do i community service, i pay taxes. and at the same time i wasn't involved in crime, at the same time i was still getting pulled back into the system, being placed in jail. >> stephen: so what happened last week that might change that for you.
12:14 am
>> last week they ruled for me to vey new trial to review the case that i was initially put on probation for, i got a label with jay-z the same day, i got the news the same day, you know. (applause) thank you. i'm not a felon any more. i am not on probation any more. i just have an open case. (applause). >> stephen: looking great. >> thank you. >> stephen: the new documentary series on amazon is called as i said before "free meek." do you feel like the world is finally hearing your side of the story? >> i just think in today's time we got so many platforms, we have social media, you have got google, you have places where you can actually research. you have data now, and people can focus and pay more attention, like a lot of these things really like common sense. me and myself, i have been on probation my whole adult life. i haven't been involved or accused of any crime since have i been on this probation at the
12:15 am
age of 19, but small infractions, small mistakes kept stretching the probation out. i started off with ten years of probation. police contact, making 16 years of probation. so it is keep stremping out. for the average person, trying to get a fair shot in america, that is like kind of extremely hard. so you know, we came up with the reform alliance, me myself, robert craft, jay-z, clarra mike ruben, a group of people that kaism together to come together for a better cause, and we are working on it on a daily basis. >> which have a clip here were "free meek." i believe this is jay-z talking about your experience. >> yeah. >> a lot of people don't really understand what is going on. or don't believe it until they really see it, meek is not the only one.
12:16 am
you tell people these stories, you can't believe it until you hear it, like you hear it from a source. and are you like oh, this is not fantasy, this is fact. you know, these are just things that are so far, that i have to say something. >> stephen: it is not just jay-z, as you were saying, there are a lot of public figures coming out in support of you and saying free meek. how aware were you of the free meek move. , were you incarcerated at the time. >> yeah, i was incarcerated while it was going on. and i was hearing a lot about it, when i call home, they would tell me the effects of it it but i was so stressed out and de pressed, i couldn't really feel the full effects am then i started seeing it on major news platforms. and then talked about every day. and that was the year the eagles won the super bowlk any eagle fans in the building. (applause) they won the super bowl and they came out to, they celebrated to my song after the win.
12:17 am
jay-z and beyonce had a song come out with dj khalid, jay-z is may homie, he shout me out, that was like a dream for me, beyonce shoutedded me out, that had me excited when i heard her on the radio. i would see it it on the news. i had grouping of people from my city marching for me out in the rain. that is what motivated me to come up with something like the reform alliance to give back to the people without actually stood up for me. because i believe that they had people caught up in their same situation if not being caught up themselves. so when i came home i wanted to dedicate some of my time to giving back to those people who stood up for me. (applause). >> stephen: you now spend some time speaking in community centers, what do you say to the kids who are growing up in the 15eu78 kind of communities that you grew up in. what advice are you giving them? >> i always give them advice to
12:18 am
chase their dreams. and my record label is called dream chasers, for every kind in the world, everybody has a dream. i always them them chase their dream because the veument i came out, i don't know if everyone is familiar with it. i came out of environment where you might have people selling drugs on your step, shootk around your neighborhood, you were raised in violence. some people grow up am love, we were raised in survival because it is survival, a dangerous place, a lot of bad things happen. i always tell young kids be a leader. i always was a leader. of course i came up am that environment,nd i couldn't be a survivor in that environment but i always was a leader and i did what was best for me and not just follow the crowd, that is how i ended up in the position i am in now. i will be a leader and never let nobody mislead you and do things that you don't want to do, and follow your dream, chase your dream. >> thanks so much for being here. >> thank you, i appreciate it. >> free meek premiers on amazon august 9th. meek mill, everybody.
12:19 am
we'll be right back. with nicholas braun from hbo's succession. -keep it down there. i have a system. -keith used to be great to road-trip with. but since he bought his house... are you going 45? -uh, yes. 55 is a suggestion. g's kind of like driv with his dad. -what a sign, huh? terry, can you take a selfie of me? -take a selfie of you? -yeah. can you make it look like i'm holding it? -he did show us how to bundle home and auto at and save a bunch of money. -oh, a plaque. "he later navigated northward, leaving... progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents. but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. but we can protect your home and auto hey, you wanna shoot me one? steady the elbow. ♪ oooh. amateur.
12:20 am
someone show him how it's done. ♪ ♪ ahh boom shaka laka. feisty. ♪ ahh dangerously cheesy. did you know you can save money by using dish soap to clean grease on more than dishes? try dawn ultra. dawn is for more than just dishes. with 3x more grease cleaning power per drop, it tackles tough grease on a variety of surfaces. try dawn ultra.
12:21 am
you...and mom also gets aoss shoppiback-to-school bag? that's yes for less. ross has the brands you want for back to school. and it feels even better when you find them for less. at ross. yes for less.
12:22 am
and realize you can get youeverything you need...oss oh, yeah. yep. yes! feel like a boss? that's yes for less. 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices for every room and every budget. at ross. yes for less.
12:23 am
seventh generation gets the laundry detergent from plants, not petroleum. and this stuff beets stains. its kind of a big dill. lemon tell ya. it squashes sixty of your toughest stains. and leaves your clothes looking raddishing. so lettuce make the right choice, and choose seventh generation's plant based detergent. was that too corny? seventh generation. powered by plants. tested on sixty of your toughest stains. hi, it's real milk, just00% farmwithout the lactose, id.
12:24 am
so you can enjoy it even if you're sensitive. delicious. now, i've heard people say lactaid isn't real milk. ok, well, if it isn't real then, i guess those things over there can't actually be cows. must be some kind of really big dogs, then. sit! bad dog. who used expedia to book the vacation rental which led to the discovery that sometimes a little down time can lift you right up. expedia. everything you need to go. expedia. delivered to your door try tso you can do more.very. ♪ feels so good ♪ feels so good ♪ feels so good target run and done.
12:25 am
12:26 am
>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back. welcome back to the late show. my friends, may neighbors, ladies and gentlemen, folks, you know my next guest as cousin greg on succession. >> nice a bode, man. are you okay? what is the news? what is going on? >> how are you doing? >> good, good, dude. >> it this place is sick. >> oh yeah, its fashion week, pent houses. >> no, i mean, it could be way better, i just don't know how. >> stephen: please welcome nicholas braun z.
12:27 am
(applause) >> please have a seat, there you go. >> thank you. >> stephen: nice to meet you. >> nice to meet you too. i really enjoy you on the show. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: i understand this is the first time you were ever on a late night show. >> yeah, this is my first time. yeah. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: it's going to be great. >> st really happening. >> stephen: it is going to be great t is over before you know t it flies by. >> i'm blocking it out right now. >> stephen: you watch it at home and find out what you said. now since you have been on this show with billionaires, the excess, the superfancy helicopter crowd, has it gotten you invited to any events like that? >> yeah, jeremy strong who plays kendall on the show. >> stephen: sure, the older brother. >> alan ruch plays the oldest brother but he is kind of not quite all there. >> stephen: that's right. >> not totally, officially. but so jeremy invited me to this
12:28 am
party in the hamptons last fall. >> stephen: that's fancy. >> superfancy. and i was very nervous. i didn't know what this was going to be about. it was going to be at this big, beautiful exownld in the hamptons. sco i think-- . >> stephen: is that what this is from? >> yeah, it is, yeah. >> stephen: when you say the the person's name, i will show the photo. >> perfect, perfect. so it's crazy. (applause) you got this, baby. >> this is fun. >> stephen: so jeremy strong, here we go. >> stephen: he plays the second oldest brother on the show, alan ruch actually plays the oldest brother. >> exactly. >> stephen: a lot of people make that mistake. go aheadness have got it. >> stephen: go ahead.
12:29 am
>> so jeremy invites moo he to this party t is going to be at this big compound. i take the long island railroad out there. >> stephen: what time was the train. >> i guess the point of that is to say-- . >> stephen: you did not arrive by helicopter. >> i'm still greg in life, i'm basically just greg. >> stephen: yeah, i can tell. i like you. it it is a compliment. >> he's getting there. >> so anyway, so i get on the train, the train is really sweaty. >> stephen: what train. >> the long island railroad. i was told to milk this. (laughter) (applause) >> thank you. >> stephen: people are wondering who this is a photo of by the way. >> we will never show you the
12:30 am
photo. >> stephen: none of this will go on air, we are done am they turned off the camera an hour ago. >> people have walked away. >> stephen: exactly, yeah, uh-huh.. >> long story short. >> stephen: too late. >> jerm's picks me up from the long island railroad and he is in a red convertible, looking really cool and i am like very sweaty and confused and i was born on long islandk haven't been therefore in a long time work he go to this beautiful compound, incredible house, they are going to have this big party and the sort of mat ree arc of the house is working on a list of all the names of the people staying at the compound which is like 25 people. >> stephen: are you staying out there. >> i'm staying there, yeah, i'm going to stay at this place. >> stephen: sure. >> so she is making this list and she is like what is your last name, i'm like it is braun, nicholas braun. she is like okay, and your middle name.
12:31 am
>> nicholas joseph braun. and then, secret, and so i'm quliek are you taking a tally of names. and she says well the secret service is coming tonight. i said oh, cool, i know those guys. you know, my boys. and she says you know the secret service, they are going to come, vet the place, scout for any threats and stuff. so i hide all my weapons and then, so the party is happening, party is going on, no governmental figure thrses yet. >> stephen: okay. >> and she comes over to me. she says hey, do you want to meet hillary. i said yailt, cool. so i get up kind of in a fog, kind of like i am right now, you know. and i go and i shake hillary's hand and i say some stuff, i
12:32 am
can't remember. and you know, and then i think she kind of moves on to another conversation but i see bill, bill is also there. and he is regaling a group of people. (applause) nd so anyway, i kind of lurk over him long enough for somebody to say oh, hey, bill, this is cousin greag, like he's on succession, you should watch this show, you will love the shoi. and so bill sticks his hand out and like we end up talking for 20, 30 minutes. >> stephen: did you talk about the show. >> talked about the show, he was talking about you know, famous media families. >> stephen: did he have anything to say like the murdochs or the redstones, people that have given him a lot of hell over the years. >> yeah. >> stephen: what did he say? >> he said they are just doing their thing. you know. >> stephen: just doing their
12:33 am
thing? that is what he said. >> no, no, no, i can't remember, well-- drch (laughter). >> stephen: are you allowed to tell me what he said? >> yeah. >> stephen: then for the love the christ, say it. >> bill was pitching story lines. >> stephen: no way. >> yeah, he was pitching story lines. he was like maybe you guys should talk about this family or that family. i can't remember the names of people but he had specific families. he is like this could be really funny if you guys did this. >> stephen: wow, wow. >> yeah. >> stephen: and how does the story ends. >> so the story ends. >> stephen: does the story end, i suppose. >> no, is it tomorrow yet. >> stephen: it is. >> so i mean i guess i said to him you know bill, because he hadn't watched the show, i said bill, do you like the show. >> stephen: you called him bill. >> yeah. >> stephen: you called the president of the united states bill? and this is the first time you
12:34 am
ever met him? i have interviewed him five times. i have spent an entire day with the man. i would never dream of calling a president of the united states bill! you called him bill? did he like that? >> i think so. (applause). >> stephen: when does the show start? >> august 11th. >> stephen: season two of succession begins on august 11th on hbo. nicholas braun, ever 6789 we'll be right back. we are here to discuss jessie's online time.
12:35 am
and out of respect, we will let you make the first offer. thirty minutes. thirty minutes? objection! overruled. one hour. sweeten the deal by doing the dishes and i'll consider it.
12:36 am
i wouldn't do it. i hate the dishes. one hour with the tablet, you walk the dog and do the dishes. if you insist. congratulations. only xfinity xfi lets you take control of your family's online time. that's simple, easy, awesome. xfinity xfi gives you the speed, coverage and control you need. manage your wifi network from anywhere when you download the xfi app today.
12:37 am
>> stephen: that's it for the late show, everybody, now stick and for james corden. good night. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on