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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  August 6, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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captioning sponsored by cbs >> we've seen a major escalation in the rhetoric of this trade war recently, the u.s. overnight now labeling china officially a currency manipulator, and the real question here on wall street is how much longer does this game of chicken between the world's two largest economies last? >> are you worried about trump's trade war causing economic calamity? need a photo to express your frustration that nothing can be done, and you have no idea how this will turn out? then visit: men-with-hands-on-their- foreheads.com. we have a stock photo for every financial concern: the dow crashing, china devaluing their currency, trump switching to a cheeseburger standard.
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we have distraught white men, upset asian men, or men feeling unnerved together, an auditorium full of anxious men. even a worried guy on a toilet. so visit: men-with-hands-on-their- foreheads.com today and find the perfect image that says, "i'll never be able to retire." now hiring for head models. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight the leave us a-lone star state. plus, stephen welcomes amanda seyfried, jacob tremblay brady noon, and keith l. williams. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! a ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: come on! hi!
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i ran a little faster. beautiful! wonderful! how delightful! thank you so much. please, have a seat, everybody. welcome. welcome, one and all, in here, out there, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. the country-- ( cheers and applause ) the country-- you can feel it out there. the country is still stunned by the mass that'sing this past weekend. and one of the disheartening aspects of the aftermath of one of these tragedies is how predictable every stage of it will be. it makes it feel like you're living the same tragedy over and over again. one of the stages of that tragic cycle is the president going to
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the community shattered by this violence. for instance, tomorrow, the president is going to el paso. but here's something different: they don't think he should come. el paso's congresswoman veronica escobar said this on msnbc: >> from my perspective, he is not welcome here. he should not come here while we are in mourning. >> stephen: it really speaks to your leadership when a town in mourning an unspeakable tragedy thinks you would bring the mood down. ( laughter ) escobar explained that, given trump's history of hateful rhetoric, he should know why he's unwelcome. >> i would encourage the president's staff members to have him do a little self-reflection. >> stephen: oh, i think he does plenty of self-reflection. (as trump) "morning, handsome. lookin' fleshy today. who's got two thumbs and is ready to demonize some immigrants? this guy!" ( applause ) she thinks trump is partially responsible for the shooting because of his rhetoric.
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and it's not helping that the el paso shooting suspect's manifesto echoes trump's language. that is upsetting... to call what trump speaks a language. ( laughter ) now, there is one public official who is welcoming trump to the city, el paso mayor dee margo. well, welcoming, sort of. >> this is the office of the mayor of el paso in an official capacity, welcoming the office of the president of the united states, which i consider is my formal duty. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that is some obligatory enthusiasm. i would like to see that guy's wedding vows. "i am now entering into the formal and legal arrangement of marriage, whereby i, the office of husband, take you, the office of wife, to be a bride. i will now touch my lips to
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yours, which i consider my formal duty." laugh now, there's another reason-- ( cheers and applause ) beautiful. i love a wedding. i love a wedding >> jon: oh, yeah. nice to see a nice wedding. >> stephen: there's another reason this visit is going to be a little awkward. trump held a maga rally in el paso back in february, and he still owes the city more than $470,000. (as trump) "look, it is too soon after this tragedy to talk about things like gun control or the money i owe you. ( laughter ) i, for one, refuse to politicize me not wanting to pay you back." in fact, donal trump is so late in paying back el paso that the city has also imposed late fees, which bring the bill to more than $500,000. well, sure. sure. it's the vig that gets you. donny, donny t.'s in deep to the juice man. i'd say two guys are gonna come break his kneecaps, but i'm not
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sure there's any more bone left. at this point, i think it's just meat and mascarpone cheese down there. mmm. mmm. i could go for a little. i could go for a little kneecap. ( applause ) now, the city of el paso claims they sent trump multiple invoices since the event and even sent him a letter: >> nope. trump famously doesn't pay anybody-- he owes $20,000 to the leave-a-penny, take-a-penny industry. and it's not like he doesn't have the cash. in the second quarter this year, trump's campaign and the republican national committee raised $105 million. i mean, the last time trump made that kind of money, he got it
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from a shadowy donor known as "dad." yesterday-- ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ yesterday, we heard from someone whose name doesn't come up that often anymore: 44th president and man three minutes into a conversation with someone whose name he can't remember, barack obama. now, in the wake, in the wake-- ( cheers and applause ) i know. i know. >> jon: can't beat that. >> stephen: wow. y'all remember him, i guess. now, in the wake of this weekend's tragedies, barack obama released a rare statement, saying, "we should soundly reject language coming out of the mouths of any of our leaders that feeds a climate of fear and hatred or normalizes racist sentiments. and it's time for the overwhelming majority of americans of goodwill, of every race and faith and political party to say as much clear and unequivocally." oh! oh! ( cheers and applause )
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oh, now you want to be my dad? you left! ( laughter ) you don't get to tell me what to do anymore. ( voice breaking ) ( cheers and applause ) papa, come back! gah! i was bad! i'm sorry! don't leave me with the badman. please come back. you can still smoke. ( laughter ) now, obama never mentions a ci statement. hmm, who could it be? well, the friendly friends over at "fox & his friends" have a pretty good idea. >> i guess he is talking about the president trump. >> ya think?
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( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: "ya think?" come on, doocy! don't accuse brian kilmeade of thinking. it's more like whatever mental activity is involved when a leaf decides to fall off a branch. kilmeade went on. >> i'm just wondering, did george bush ever condemn president obama after sandy hook? did president bush ever come at-- he had 32 shootings of four and more mass shootings during his reign. not many people said, "wow, it's this president. president obama is out of control." >> stephen: wait. why are you acting so offended? obama did not say trump was the racist. you just did. ( cheers and applause ) it's one of the few times that you've stated a fact on camera.
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it's like if you said, "look, it's time for someone to stop taking dumps on my lawn," and your neighbor goes, "you can't prove i did it." but trump's not paying attention to all this stuff. he's too busy targeting the real threat to our democracy: google. yesterday, both fox news and fox business aired segments saying google was biased against trump. so trump tweeted, "i watched kevin sernekee, a google engineer, say terrible things about what they did in 2016 and that they want to 'make sure that trump losses.'" ( laughter ) okay? no, it's true. it's shocking, jon. it is terrible. they do. i'm telling you. google does terrible things to me. they want me to loss, but i'm no losser. i'm gonna whine, 'cause i've always been a whiner. ( cheers and appla
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we're going to whine so much, you're going to get sick of all the whining." he whined on, "lou dobbs stated that this is a fraud on the american public. @peterschweizer stated with certainty that they suppressed negative stories on hillary clinton, and boosted negative stories on donald t-tump." ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: it doesn't really-- doesn't... >> stephen: now, i wasn't sure who donald tuh-tump was, so i googled him, and it said was he was a tuh-torrible tacist who shouldn't be puhtesident. and a real losser ( cheers and applause )
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meanwhile, the democratic primary is starting to get serious, and i'll tell you all about it in tonight's "doin' it about it in tonight's "doin' it donkey style." the first two rounds of debates had 20 people on stage, but for the next debate, the current number is around eight people qualifying so far. that's because in order to qualify, democrats have to poll at 2% in four surveys and have 130,000 unique donors. as opposed to the first debate, when you could qualify just by guessing the answer to a riddle from a bridge troll. (as troll) "answer ye my riddles three: who pays for medicare if we get it for free? and would you like to stroke my goatee?" ( laughter ) ooooooh. ( applause ) but the d.n.c. just announced
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the rules for october's debate the one after september's debate, are the same as the rules for september's debate, with a later deadline. which means after culling the field for the september debate, the rules could let some candidates back in for october. no! no! damn it, no! the whole point is elimination. here's a reason that march madness doesn't go "elite eight," "final four," "terrific twelve," "nifty nine," "thrifty thirteen." they go down! ( cheers and applause ) one candidate who will almost certainly not qualify for... well, anything, is new york mayor bill de blasio, seen here delivering his signature catchphrase: why am i here? ( laughter )
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de blasio recently did an interview with "politico," and they asked him all the hard-hitting policy questions, like "do you have any tattoos?" to which he replied: "no... i think i'd want something roman. big gladiator fan." why am i reading this? we have de blasio on tape: >> you like movies about gladiators? >> stephen: he continued, "i'm just being proud of my heritage, the wellspring of democracy, and i'm also pissed off that they screwed up the roman republic, so i still haven't gotten over that." hasn't gotten over-- i'm glad he's got his finger on the pulse of what matters to voters in 44 b.c. (as de blasio) "it is time for commonsense javelin control. we must stop demonizing the celtic immigrants, and i will seek long-awaited peace with gallic chieftain ontaeogon." ( laughter ) and they also-- look it up!
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look it up! ( applause ) they also asked de blasio if he had to go on a road trip with another 2020 candidate, who would he choose to travel with, and he answered, "bernie." oh, my god, can you imagine that going on a road trip with bernie sanders? (as bernie) "turn off the a.c. i'm rolling down the windows to do my hair. i'm hanging oit like a golden retriever. slow down. my tongue is getting dry. now, pull over. i need to redistribute 90% of the gatorade i had earlier." ( laughter ) ( applause ) "put on!" ( applause ) "drink your big black cow and get out of here!" of course, de blasio's odds are pretty low.
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and by low i mean in a recent poll of new hampshire voters, out of all of the people they talked to, bill de blasio got zero votes. not 0%, zero votes, none. in fact, there is footage of the focus group rendering their decision. we've got a great show for you tonight. amanda seyfried is here. but when we return, "meanwhile!" (sprintern) did you know you can switch to sprint and get both our unlimited plan and the brilliant iphone xr included? (paul) go on. (sprintern) for just $35 per month. (paul) go on. (sprintern) and it has a longer lasting battery life. (paul) go on. (sprintern) and...well that's it. it's that simple. (paul) it sure is. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com
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( cheers and applause )
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>> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) lovely. lovely. lovely. jon, jon, we have a couple of lovely guests tonight. are you aware of who we have here tonight? >> jon: indeed >> stephen: we have amanda seyfried. you might know her from "mamma mia" >> jon: she's got a great voice! >> stephen: "mean girls sm of the she is-- she is fetch. and, also, three lovely young men here from the movie "good boys." is that what it's called, "good boys"? it's the new seth rogen movie. "good boys." we have three kids. thaerk like, 12 or 13 years old. one's 13 and two of them are 12, something like that, absolutely adorable. of course at that age, they're right at the edge of becoming monsters >> jon: oh, wow >> stephen: catch them
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tonight. they turn into teenagers and you can't do anything until they turn 21 >> jon: you let them loose >> stephen: the end of the day-- >> jon: like animal s >> stephen: exactly. beloved pets. you just hose them down at the end of the day, that's all you can do. count their fingers and toes. 10 of each, they're good. you know, i spend most of my time over there, marie kondo-ing the day's big stories into the perfectly-organized news closet that is my monologue. but sometimes i like to root around in the news crawlspace for the unread magazines, the old camp t-shirts, and the broken lite brites that no longer spark joy, i thank them for their service, toss them in a cinch sack, then lean out my car window and drop it into the salvation army donation bin that is my segment: ( cheers and applause ) "meanwhile" heals a nation. it soothes the troubled soul of this great experiment we call democracy!
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meanwhile, passengers aboard a spirit airlines flight were in for a surprise on wednesday when a bat appeared and flew back and forth through the cabin. here it comes again. there it goes. yeah, there it goes again! i know that's kiind of shocking, but in spirit airlines' defense, their slogan is, "look, you want to fly to chicago for 60 bucks? you get bats." ( laughter ) ( applause ) meanwhile-- if you're lucky! if you're lucky you get bats! the only thing i've ever seen on spirit airlines is raccoons. meanwhile, a dog shelter here in new york says that "an adorable puppy with a 'mustache' already has a long list of families waiting to adopt her." the puppy went viral last week thanks to her unique mustache-like markings. but for some reason, there's still no interest in her brother. and to whoever-- hello. and whoever ends up adopting dolly, the name of the dog here,
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i just have one request: please dress her up like a little saloon owner. thiss not-- ( applause ) this isn't even a setup for a joke, it's just something my writer, kate sidley, thinks would be adorable and i agree with her. if saloon owner isn't possible, kate will also accept dolly as a dastardly villain tying a hamster to train tracks, dolly as tom selleck in "magnum p.i." or dolly as 1972 burt reynolds. ( laughter ) meanwhile-- that's key. that's key-- key paw placement. meanwhile, coors light has just branded itself the official beer of "drinking in the shower." that's actually an upgrade. previously, it was the official beer of weeping in your ex-wife's birdbath. check out this little ad they actually made:
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♪ ♪ >> stephen: coors light and taking a shower are the perfect match. you're going to catch some water in your mouth anyway-- why not make it a cors light? make it a coors light? that's good-- actually, tonight, i'm going home and doing this. also, can i just ask why it says "do not attempt?" ( laughter ) i am sick of commercials telling me not to do the thing they're doing in their commercial. if i want to go off-roading in the arctic in my ford f-150 like you did, ford, that's my business. and if i sideswipe a tree and get stranded on a frozen lakebed and have to eat my own foot until i'm rescued, the first thing i'm gonna do is go straight home and shower off with a nice coors light.
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but, hey, getting people-- ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ but, hey, getting people to consume your product in the shower is a whole new profit av and other brands are already getting on board. jim? >> after a long day there's nothing like a hot shower. but if you're also hungry, there's bon gelder shower chili. while other chilies can be thin and watered down, bon gelder's is thick and chunky and can take the heat and it's perfectly seasoned, giving you the kick you need while hosing off. so the next time you're stepping into the shower, crack open a can of bon gelder shower chili. the official chili of eating chili in the shower. >> stephen: we'll be right back with amanda seyfried. low battery sound.
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it runs on doritos. want to tr[dog barks]me machine? okay. yes! [humming, thumping] this is the greatest moment of my life! get out of my yard! [birds chirping] jimmy? you're so old. [crunch!]
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back. that would be fun. bk. back. ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest from "mean girls," "first reformed," and "mamma mia." she now stars in "the art of racing in the rain." please welcome, amanda seyfried! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: welcome, welcome. ( applause ) >> i'm going to stand until you te: t t sit. they stand.
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you get to sit. nice to you have here >> thanks >> stephen: you felt like you had been here before. i felt like you had been here before >> i feel like i know you >> stephen: but this is the first time we had you on the show. we met before because we go to similar fancy things. >> functions >> stephen: we went to the met gala. nothing fancier >> soup's fancy displi don't know the vocab for that >> neither do you. >> stephen: hi >> thanks for having me >> stephen: pleasure to have you >> my mom is here >> stephen: she is? where's your mom? >> i don't know? >> stephen: is she out here or back there? >> she's out here. she knocked on the door with her friends. she's like, "i'm amanda's mom, expwts they let her in. i didn't know. she happened to be around times square >> stephen: does she live in new york? >> she lives wherever i am she's my full-time nanny/mother/mother-in-law. >> stephen: good for grandma,
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good for mom, good for kids >> i think this is what we should be doing. they used to do that. they used to support mother with the child and the family used to live together and now we all separate. i'm meant to live with my husband alone! i'm kidding >> stephen: but you live kind of an old-fashioned lifestyle, anyway >> i do >> stephen: you live on a farm >> i live on a farm. it was my dream -- >> stephen: but a real-- a farm >> it's not a working farm. i mean, we have eggs and crops, but like -- >> stephen: eggs and crops >> we have -- >> stephen: eggs i understand. that's very limited. crops is very general >> it's very general. if you want to get specific, we have a lot of cucumbers. we're getting peppers in and stuff you >> stephen: have a lot of cucumbers. so if civilization falls, you will starve to death in a week >> maybe two >> stephen: there's no nutritional value in a cucumber >> you're correct. but i'm preparing to pickle >> stephen: pickling is where all the nutrition come frrkz the salts. >> right >> stephen: and the dill >> and the vinegar. it's got some property >> stephen: so why did you
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want to live on a farm? >> because i like animals. i wanted to be around them and i wanted space. >> stephen: did you grow up in the countryside. >> i grew up in suburbia. i wanted to ride horses and we didn't have the funds to do that. i don't know -- >> stephen: do you ride horses now? >> i do ride horses now >> stephen: this is not a horse. this is-- this is a-- >> that's a donkey >> stephen: that's a donkey >> stephen: >> you say it like my dad, a dun-key. my dad says dun-key >> stephen: what is the donkey's name >> gus >> stephen: that's a good name for a donkey >> i didn't name him. that was my christmas present. it was the best christmas present i ever received >> stephen: how do you wrap up a donkey? >> you don't. there's no way you could do it humanely ( laughter ) ♪ ♪ >> oh, we have a piano for that! >> stephen: you thought this through, and everything you agined is justoo>> yeah, it's wl
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me >> stephen: so what do you do with gus? >> i feed him. he just walks around. he's, like, a cool guy >> stephen: he doesn't work at all? he doesn't harvef thest the cucumbers >> he has some leg problems. he was at some point in his life. i don't want to say it >> stephen: not treated well >> yes. and he got around to lets us spray him, his legs for bugs. and i don't want to do anything but give kidness and love and teach my daughter that things die. oh, my god! it's just another-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) there he goes again >> stephen: thank god your mother is on this farm! >> i know >> stephen: you get your own eggs from your chickens. >> we do. i eat them almost daily >> stephen: because you have to, because they produce them almost daily >> and when you don't, you kind of get kind of annoyed with them >> stephen: when they don't >> when they're molting or when
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the seasons change they don't produce as many eggs, and it's kind of annoying. because you're, like, what are you doing? what they're doing is, is spreading love and kindness and being innocent animal s >> stephen: and chickens do die often >> chickens die often, man >> stephen: chickens die all the time >> it took a chicken an hour to put her to sleep >> stephen: you drove a chicken an hour to put her to sleep. there's another way to end a chicken's life >> i know that. i get it. i thought-- i thought quickly about that. but i will tell you that the vet did say, "do you want us to put her in the i.c.u.?" and i was like -- >> stephen: a chicken in the i.c.u.? >> and i had that moral-- that question, am i a bad person if i don't provide for this chicken that is so clearly almost dead? or do it to sleep. or do i pretend i don't want to put it to sleep pup but i clearly want to take it out of her misery. and the doctor is like, "i don't
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know. she could make it." and i thought this is weird. and i never thought i would be dealing with this, but that's farm life, yo. >> stephen: yo >> you know? ( applause ) you know what i mean? >> stephen: so now you've got the movie. it's-- what is it called >> about a dog >> stephen: it's called "the art of racing in the rain." it's a little bit of a complicated title, based on a set ofselling book. it's got you. it's got milo venti i it, and kevin costner is the voice of the dog >> yeah >> stephen: and this is a conscious dog >> a conscious do, a very funny, very wonderful, sweet dog. they all are >> stephen: inhabited by the spirit of-- >> kevin costner >> stephen: kevin costner. no doubt his character from "big chill" who dies and reanimates >> as a dog! >> stephen: reincarnation, and comes back as a dog >> some people come back as dogs. some dogs come as humans.
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which is what our dog in the movie wants to do. which is really cute-- i don't know. i read the book and became a dog person because of it >> stephen: we have a clip. you can tell us what's going on here? >> i think the clip is when milo's character, and enzo, the dog, meet eve, what the dog thinks destroyed his life by moving in >> stephen: jim >> enzo, this is eve >> hi, enzo. how you doing? >> my first impression of eve was as complicated as the cents in the air >> i'm not really much of a dog person >> a melange of produce and pheromones >> he's more person than dog >> denny was clearly taken with her grooming. she probably bathed every day for all i knew >> does he always stair at people like this? >> if he likes them >> he's a really cute dog, man ( applause ) he's a good dude >> stephen: so lovely to meet you. thank you for being here >> thank you.
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>> stephen: "the art of racing in the rain" premieres this friday. amanda seyfried, everybody! we'll be right back with the stars of "good boys," jacob tremblay, brady noon, and keith l. williams. ♪ i want it that way... i can't believe it. that karl brought his karaoke machine? ♪ ain't nothing but a heartache... ♪ no, i can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my car insurance with geico. ♪ i never wanna hear you say... ♪ no, kevin... no, kevin! believe it! geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. did you know you gcan save moneye you fifteen percent by using dish soap to clean grease on more than dishes? try dawn ultra. dawn is for more than just dishes. with 3x more grease cleaning power per drop, it tackles tough grease on a variety of surfaces. try dawn ultra.
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( cheers and applause )
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>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. ladies and gentlemen, oh, goodness gracious. folks, my next guests are the talented young actors who star in "good boys." >> we're sorry! we just wanted to learn how to kiss >> it's none of their business >> we should have just told the truth. we're going to a kissing party and none of us have ever kissed and we're squared >> i've had sex before, but i've never kissed a girl >> look, can we please have the drum back? if you don't give it back, i'll tell my dad you stole it >> and i'll tell him you're a pervert >> we'll tell everyone you're a misogynist >> i never massaged anyone >> this is what happens when you don't respect women >> i respect women. my mom's my best friend >> what about me? it >> stephen: please welcome brady
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noon, jacob tremblay, keliams! theboys ba town e into ♪ the boys are back in town ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: the future! the future! oh... fantastic. hey guys, thanks so much for being here >> thanks for having us >> stephen: we're going to be seeing a lot of you in the future. you guys are hilarious. congratulations on this movie >> thank you so much! >> stephen: let me ask you this: is this the first time you all have been on a talk show? >> i've been on one other talk show, jimmy kimmel and that wasn't that long ago >> stephen: jacob? >> i've done a couple before >> stephen: what have you been on? >> i just did fallon yesterday >> stephen: okay >> dikimmel a couple of times >> stephen: okay, so you did fallon before you did my show. interesting. you have a lot to learn, buddy. you have a lot to learn.
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how about you, brady, have you been on a talk showor no, this e >> stephen: what's up, buddy. good to see you. obviously, obviously i'm just joke, guys. now, in the clip, as we saw, you guys have never been kissed in the movie >> nope you >> stephen: never had a kiss in the movie. and you're on a quest to learn how to kiss before you go to a kissing party. and, jacob, i understand that you actually had your actual first kiss-- >> yup >> stephen: on this set >> a c.p.r. doll, yeah ( laughter ) technically, there are two. there's the c.p.r. doll, and then a person. >> stephen: okay. and the obvious question is which did you prefer, the c.p.r. doll or the person? >> how about neither? i mean -- >> stephen: yeah, it's a messy business. wait >> it's yuckie. >> stephen: once you start, you can't stop. how about you two other guys? you guys-- you guys interested in kissing eventually? >> well, i haven't had my first
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kiss yet because i don't think-- i've had a set kiss >> stephen: a set kiss? >> yeah, basically what jacob said. >> set kisses don't count. >> they don't >> right, yeah? >> stephen: yeah. brady, did you get a set kiss? did you get a set kiss >> no-- no, i didn't >> stephen: i haven't got's set kiss, either. >> so we're in the same boat >> stephen: i'm constituent waiting for my first set kiss. i have guests on night after night, and nobody will smooch me. did you get any advice? did any of you get any advice from people on kissing, how to kiss good >> for me, my mom was basically, like, telling me, keep your mouth dry, okay." every second i was wiping my mouth like this. my mom was like, do it again." "okay." "do it again." "okay." >> stephen: here's a hint. each a bunch of sau sal teen
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crackers before you kiss. >> my mom just kept giving me mints over and over again >> stephen: that's nice >> it wasn't like a real kiss. it was-- like our mouths were both closed. so i don't know why i needed mints >> stephen: i don't know what else you would do. brady, what about you? did you get advice from anybody? >> don't kiss? >> stephen: that's right, that's right, that's right. wait, wait. save it for when you're married ( laughter ) so the movie's-- the movie is-- the movie is called "good boys" >> "good boys," yeah >> stephen: and i understand you guys are actually-- and i believe this, i believe you guys actually are good boys >> really! >> stephen: yeah >> thank you. surprising >> stephen: i totally believe you're good boys. >> that's a shock >> stephen: what is the most trouble any of you have ever been in? >> oh, i know! ( laughter ) uhm-- why did you guys laugh? like, i mean... i-- i guess-- i mean, i took my mom's wedding
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ring to preschool and i proposalsed to a girl ( laughter ) >> stephen: wait a second. wait a second. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's nice. that's fun >> you guys can relax. she said no. >> audience: ooooh! >> stephen: you asked a girl-- you asked a girl and you didn't even get a kiss. she just said no >> no. she was just like, "no!" so then the preschool teacher called my mom and she's like, "we have your wedding ring here." my mom was like, "i knew i was missing something when i woke up and nothing was on my hands." like-- uh... yeah >> stephen: all right, we have to take a little bit of a break, but when we come back, we'll find out if these good boys are really good or not. stick around, everybody. this is the couple who wanted to get away
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sit down, my friend. we're back here with brady noon, jacob tremblay, and keith l. williams, from the movie "good boys." i want to figure out right now, we're going to play a little game-- do we have time for this? a little game right here. we're going to figure out who is the baddest good boy.
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okay, so i'm going to ask you-- "good boys gone bad." what we're going to do right now is i am going to read you a series of questions, situations, and you give me an answer. this is "good boys gone bad." question number one: have you ever faked being sick to get out of something you didn't want to do? >> yup >> yes >> yes >> stephen: okay. very bad. that's very bad of you to have done >very, very bad. >> cut school >> stephen: me too, all right. have you ever sworn in front of your parents? >> no, >> no >> i would get in so much trouble, so much trouble. i would be dead >> stephen: you guys swear in this movie >> that doesn't really count ( laughter ) because they -- >> stephen: it's a stage kiss, it's a set kiss. >> they approved it >> it was like a free-- it was like a free pass to curse >> stephen: exactly. this is a very important question and i need an honest answer: have ever of you ever
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dealt it but claimed you merely smelt it >> i mean, i just did it, if i'm being honest. >> stephen: sure, sure. listen, i want-- i want to joint gang. i'm-- i'm a good boy. i want to join the gang. what-- what do i need to know, keith? >> you know how to do the wall, first of all? >> the wall >> the whoa >> stephen: what's the whoa? >> come on, stephen! >> i'll toss it up to you >> the whoa. toss it >> ready? >> we have a lot of different ones. ♪ ♪ >> i know that one. it's like... >> yeah, you have to, like... >> stephen: what do i do? >> give me a long one >> toss, toss it >> hey! >> hey! >> here, toss it up! toss it up! >> stephen: hit me. hit me >> yay! >> that was so good! that was so good! >> whoa!
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>> toss it up! toss it up! >> i dropped it. hang on. >> toss me one. toss me one. ♪ ♪ >> hey! ( applause ) >> stephen: i'm open. >> okay. ( laughter ) >> medic! medic! >> stephen: "good boys" is in theaters august 16. brady noon, jacob tremblay, and keith l. williams, everybody! we'l be right back.
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be tiffany haddish, jared harris, and musical guest, the smashing pumpkins. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, all the way f

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