tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS August 21, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
captioning sponsored by cbs >> nearly 1.5 million people have joined a group on facebook that plans to storm area 51. >> you're watching c-span 3, the tv channel you turn on to fool burglars into thinking you're home. we now go live to the area 51 press conference. >> good morning. i know there's been some confusion about what's happening at area 51, so we thought it important to make this statement-- ( screeching ) >> listen, this whole thing about area 51 housing aliens, it's laughable. it's just some dated weather equipment, various aircraft, and a human organ liquifier used to fuel our vehicles and breed our pod babies. i will now take questions by
latching on to your face. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. tonight: hot mess! plus, stephen welcomes: john oliver. and joe namath. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen stephen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hello! ( cheers and applause ) please, have a seat. welcome, one and all, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) it's friday. that's a friday crowd right
there. i hope everybody is cuddled up with a loved one tonight and then shoving them away because it's too damn hot. ( laughter ) because the country is in the middle of a massive heat wave. this week, it has been 90 degrees or warmer for nearly 90% of americans. let me put it this way: if you know anyone who uses natural deodorant, no longer know them. ( laughter ) now, if you're wondering what that kind of heat looks like on a map, check it out. there it is. in fact, if you zoom in, you'll see new jersey is now just a flamin' hot cheeto. ( laughter ) yeah. looks good. of course, some of the heat this week comes from trump stoking the flames of racial hatred, with his baseless attacks on women of color in congress. it's put a lot of strain on one persecuted group: trump's fact- checkers. ( laughter ) this week, cnn's daniel dale
told us a trick of the trade for fact-checking donald trump. according to dale, if trump uses the word "sir," it's a telltale sign trump is being dishonest. the other telltale sign: when he is talking. ( laughter ) apparently-- ( cheers and applause ) watch for that. watch for that. apparently, the word "sir" seems to pop into trump's head more frequently when he is inventing or exaggerating a conversation. ( as trump ) "then the queen said, 'arise, sir trump, knight of england and lord of all hogwarts.'" ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) but trump better watch out, 'cause there are 25 democrats trying to keep us from ever calling him "sir" again. and i'll tell you all about it in tonight's "doin' it donkey style."
>> tax the rich! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: first up on donkey style, democratic candidate metaphysical guru marianne williamson, seen here learning she can't bring her emotional support lemur onto the debate stage... ( laughter ) now, on monday in los angeles, williamson spoke to a crowd of several hundred, including people in flower crowns and mickey mouse ears decked out as giant purple orbs. ( laughter ) so now we know what unites williamson's supporters: they've all had sex on the coachella ferris wheel. ( laughter ) and-- they have a ferris wheel at coachella? do they have a ferris wheel at coachella? >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: is it roomy? >> jon: i've never been on it. >> stephen: you've never been, okay. >> jon: i've never been on the ferris wheel. >> stephen: but you have been to coachella? >> jon: yes. >> stephen: why haven't you been on the ferris wheel? >> jon: i'm not interested. ( laughter ) >> stephen: not interested in ferris wheels? >> jon: not particular, but
especially at coachella. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yes, bring a lot of hand sanitizer. but then williamson led her own audience chant: a brief call- and-response: "and so it is," she murmured. "and so it is," the audience echoed. ( laughter ) that's really refreshing to hear a chant at murmur level. ( laughter ) maybe trump should try it. ( as trump very quietly ) "send her back. send her back. ( laughter ) i receive your hate-filled screaming with gratitude." ( laughter ) williamson did seem aware that people think she is a little kooky, saying, "coming back to los angeles always gives me a sense of soul base. i think like so many people here think. you don't actually think you're wacky when you're here. you just think like everyone else." ( laughter ) ( as williamson ) "in los angeles, i am not crazy.
i'm just a woman, standing on a street corner, asking if anyone knows where i can buy some organic placenta capsules. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and so it is." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) has to be quiet because you have to murmur it. >> jon: have to murmur. >> stephen: have to murmur it. very few punch lines in this job that you murmur. then there's also news about vermont senator and man pointing to where the squirrels got into the airshaft-- ( laughter ) bernie sanders. big celebrity endorsements, perhaps none bigger than rapper cardi b, who once told her fans to "vote for daddy bernie." ooh! oh, she called him "daddy." i think this makes him what the kids call a "zaddy."
or, more accurately, a "zandpa." ( laughter ) this week, bernie was asked to respond to cardi b's support, and he said this: >> what's your message for cardi b and her followers? >> well, first of all, i thank her very much for her support. i spoke to her a few weeks ago. she is very sharp and understands a lot about politics and a lot about history, and i am very appreciative to have her support. >> stephen: it's cardi and bernie! it's the mashup of the century! ( as bernie ) "look, i don't dance now, i make money moves. in fact-- ( laughter ) i'd like to move money from the billionaire class to the 99%. 'cause i'm a boss in a skirt, i'm a dog, i'm a flirt. and it is high time we had medicare, it's high time we had medicare for all you broke ho's. i know a bad bitch when i see one. tell ri-ri i need a three."( ch) )
( cheers and applause ) hey, comic-con! comic-con has started out in san diego. they've got great new toys. it's a whole new era of toys in comic-con right now. ( cheers and applause ) a whole new era. and the fans got a real treat when tom cruise surprised everyone with "top gun: maverick" trailer. well, i watched the trailer online, and not to nit-pick, but they seemed to have strayed pretty far from the original. apparently, maverick is now played by judi dench as a giant cat and jennifer hudson sings a big-- i'm sorry? i'm being told i watched the trailer for "cats." i'm sorry. ( laughter ) i always mix those two up because they were both written by andrew lloyd weber. okay. let's watch some of the actual trailer. >> the end is inevitable, maverick. your kind is headed for extinction.
>> maybe so, sir. but not today. ( jet engine ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: wow! a cocky tom cruise, motorcycles, shirtless volleyball, singing in a bar, fancy jet maneuvers. i got to say, i'm on board for watching the original "top gun" again. ( laughter ) ap ) >> jon: that's a great movie. >> stephen: the candy at my house is free and the floor is just as sticky. ( laughter ) dia craze, "faceapp."t trend ts you upload p
showsou what you'd lookay oer. everybody's been doing it: lebron james, drake, mindy kaling, me. ( cheers and applause ) got to say, not bad. hello, zandpa. ( laughter ) now, this is the only fun thing that happened this entire week. so, of course, there's a nefarious dark side. turns out, by using the app, you grant the company a "perpetual, irrevocable and worldwide" license to use a user's photos, name, or likeness in practically any way they see fit. so, congratulations to the new official spokesperson of k.f.c. lebanon: old you. ( laughter ) and one of the big reasons this has people worried is, faceapp was developed by russians. oh, come on, what's the worst thing they can do with all that personal data? they've already elected donald trump. what are they gonna do, re elect him? oh, they can do that? i didn't realize.
okay. there might be nothing to worry about! ( booing ) there might be nothing to worry about because, while the app was developed by russians, its servers are based in amazon data centers in the u.s. oh, phew! ( laughter ) so putin doesn't have my photos. they're just in the hands of a massive, shadowy empire run by a bald tyrant with his own space program. ( laughter ) but some people are worried, such as the people over at the democratic national committee, which this week warned presidential campaigns against using faceapp and urged campaign staff to "delete the app immediately." aw, man, the candidates were having so much fun! check out what pete buttigieg looks like in 50 years! ( laughter ) so-- ( cheers and applause ) 40, actually. it's 40 years! looks good. he looks good. so it looks like faceapp is just too risky. besides, people are already into
a fun new app that asks for nothing, other than your most intimate private data. jim? >> say hello to pony points. just whisper your deepest darkest secret into your phone, something that would destroy your life if it ever came into the light, and we'll give you a free picture of a pony! >> in the summer of 2011, i stopped at a bar outside of town and i got into it with this guy and beat him right there in the parking lot. and i just drove off. don't even know if he's alive. is that who i am? ( neighing ) hey, a pony! >> pony points! we own you now. >> stephen: we've got a great show for you tonight! john oliver is here! stick around!( cheers and a
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( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to "the late show"! ladies and gentlemen, oh, what a treat for these people, jon, they're going to love this. ladies and gentlemen-- ( cheers and applause ) the excitement in this room is palpable because my first guest tonight is the host of "last week tonight." ( cheers and applause ) he now stars in disney's "the lion king," please welcome john oliver! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause )
>> good evening. good evening to you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello. >> hello. >> stephen: hello, john oliver. >> hello, stephen. lovely to see you. >> stephen: john, john, john. john oliver. >> yes, stephen. >> stephen: we have known you as many things. ( cheers and applause ) >> yes. >> stephen: we americans, your loving fans, have known you as many things. i've known you as sort of a coworker. >> that's right. >> stephen: a fellow traveler of "the daily show" world, host of your own show. >> host, that's right, yeah. >> stephen: you're a standup comedian. >> true. >> stephen: but now, now you are a star-- >> that's right. ( laughter ) >> stephen: of a disney--
>> yeah, that's right. >> stephen: major motion picture. >> that's right. >> stephen: "the lion king." >> yes, i'm a movie star. i'm a movie star now. ( cheers and applause ) i'm a movie star. >> stephen: you're more than that. >> yeah? >> stephen: you're a disney princess now. >> that's right. ( laughter ) i'm a gigantic movie star. >> stephen: yeah. >> as of today. >> stephen: right. >> and things are going to change around here. ( laughter ) my personality is shifting under my feet. >> stephen: right. >> i'm going to get jacked. >> stephen: flex. >> i'm going to develop a debilitating cocaine habit. ( laughter ) >> stephen: not at first. >> that's right. >> stephen: not debilitating at first! no, it'll supercharge it! >> i'm going to get so much done i'm going to buy a monster truck. that's what they do, right? ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah, sure. a collection of 'em, have a garage just filled with monster trucks. >> i'm sure disney is happy with the fact i've said the word "cocaine" two minutes into the interview. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah. pretty exciting though. abc is owned by disney. but i don't care. disney is amazing. have you been to disney world? >> uh, no.
( laughter ) >> stephen: really? >> have i? >> stephen: you would know. you would know. >> i guess not. ( laughter ) oh! i did! i did! ( laughter ) and i'll tell you why-- why i forgot was, i did a standup gig there once-- i think it was-- >> stephen: you did standup at disney world? world or land? like, florida or california? >> florida. >> stephen: world. >> it was a mistake for everybody concerned. ( laughter ) because i think if you are at disney world, the last thing that you want in that atmosphere of magic and anything possible-- >> stephen: sure. >> is a comedian telling you that the world is going ( bleep ). ( laughter ) it really was-- disney and i had different things that we wanted to do with people's evenings. >> stephen: yes. well, they have that ride there. "it's a ( bleep ) world after all." >> that's right. ( laughter ) ( cheering ) if there-- if there was a british disney world, it would
be just someone sitting in a dark room saying, "just think about the fact that everything is gone now." ( laughter ) sit there and wait for the release of death. >> stephen: now, you play zazu. >> i do, zazu. >> stephen: who is the secretary to-- mustafa. >> that's right. >> stephen: mufasa, sorry. ( laughter ) it's mufasa, right? >> it's mufasa. you said mustasa. >> stephen: i did. >> and i thought i'll let that slide and thankfully you corrected yourself, because i was about to. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yes. and we have a clip. >> i've never introduced the clip. >> stephen: never? >> no, because i've never been in movies. >> stephen: you were in "the love guru." do not try to pretend you've never been in a movie. >> that's true, that's true. >> stephen: nice try. >> as were you! >> stephen: i admit it! >> as were you. as were you. as were you. >> stephen: i admit it. >> this is mutual destruction here. >> stephen: exactly. >> this is a double edged blade. no, no, no, let me set it off! ( laughter )
>> stephen: i was going to roll "the love guru." ( laughter ) >> i've seen this happen so many times on shows like this. >> stephen: let me set it up differently then. so, you have the new movie "the lion king." i hear great things. >> oh, thanks very much. it was a really fun time on set. the cast was very close. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i hear donald glover is a bit of a prankster. is that true? >> oh, yes. so many pranks. i really love it. this is a good one. >> stephen: we have a clip here. i don't know-- do you know what this is? >> oh! i don't know what it is. ( laughter ) i don't know. i mean, i think it's zazu or something, he's talking to mufasa-- or mustafa, as some people like to call him. ju-- j >> stephen: i'm sure it's great. jim, let's see it. >> sire! >> morning, zazu. you have the morning report? >> yes, sire! ten flamingos are taking a stand. two giraffe were caught necking. the buzz from the bees-- >> ready for some fun? >> the birds were tweeting at
4:00 in the morning. i'm like, birds, we get it. >> stay low to the ground. >> i got this. >> check the wind, the shadows, wait for the perfect moment to pounce. >> --are going ape. of course, as i say, cheetahs never prosper. that's what i say. do you get it? i'll say it again, cheetahs never-- aaahhh! ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> it's good! very exciting. very exciting. >> stephen: amazing. yeah. >> the whole thing. >> stephen: while that clip was rolling, you said to me i haven't seen this. >> no, i haven't seen this. >> stephen: you haven't seen the movie? >> i've seen some clips while we were recording it, but i haven't seen that clip, so that's very, very exciting. ( laughter ) >> stephen: wow. >> this is my actually excited face. >> stephen: so with this amazing cast and there's this beautiful photo, i don't know where this is from. what is this from, "vanity fair" or something? >> no, it's just a general-- >> stephen: there's the most
beautiful cast here, everybody there. >> yeah. >> stephen: so let me show you this. i'm going to ask you a question. there's been a lot of speculation. here's you. >> that's right, that's me. >> stephen: right there, okay. >> yeah. >> stephen: and there's beyonce. >> that's right. >> stephen: who plays nala, the love interest for simba. and there's a lot of speculation here that everybody else in this photo-- jim, could you go back to this photo, please? a little bit wider, please? there you go. everybody in this photo is actually there except not beyonce. ahe-- people are speculating she was photoshopped in. >> right. >> stephen: and you're right next to her. >> yeah. >> stephen: can you tell us whether she was there? >> yeah, she wasn't there. >> stephen: she wasn't there. >> she wasn't, no. >> stephen: was everybody else there? >> i think almost everyone else was there. we were setting up the shot and we were sitting in the front and he said you need to be careful where your foot is. i lookow pie of te on the floorith beyonce's name on it.
literally, it was like a literal electric reaction, oh ( bleep )! just-- just the future presence of beyonce was so intimidating. so if you look at my face in there, i look really intimidated, and that's because what i'm doing is imagining that i am about to be put into a photo with beyonce one day, and that was nerve-racking enough. >> stephen: i can tell right here because, look at the gap, look how much room. >> yeah. >> stephen: that's the biggest gap of anybody in this photograph. >> that's only appropriate. it's only appropriate that there was a significant gap between me and the actual queen. ( laughter ) >> stephen: happy-- >> wow! wow! ( cheers and applause ) it didn't seem like it was that controversial. if you had a choice between beyonce and queen elizabeth ii-- is anyone, including queen elizabeth ii, taking the second one?
>> stephen: have you met queen elizabeth ii? >> no, of course i haven't, i'm a peasant! >> stephen: they troop you guys in every so often and they say, we want to see this one. >> no, the whole british class system is set up so we will never be in the same place. >> stephen: we have to take a break, but don't go away, we'll be right back with me john oliver right there! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) g) hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?! i'm here to steal your car because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪
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and realize you can get youeverything you need...oss oh, yeah. yep. yes! ...to feel like a boss? that's yes for less. 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices for every room and every budget. at ross. yes for less. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're here with our dear friend john oliver. big soccer summer. >> yeah, for sure, if you want to use that word, yeah. >> stephen: it was an excellent season for football. >> thank you, yes, it was. it was very good. and for you. >> stephen: and for the u.s. team. ( cheers and applause ) >> magnificent. >> stephen: but just as important to you or perhaps even more so... >> yeah. >> stephen: your t
>> yes. we won the champions league. >> stephen: what does that mean? >> champions league, we're the champions of europe. it was amazing, absolutely amazing. they are a wonderful team, liverpool, with a very charismatic manager. >> stephen: and what's your connection to liverpool? >> my whole family is from liverpool. >> stephen: but not you. >> not me. you get grandfathered in. the one thing i couldn't do in my whole life was support any team other than liverpool. >> stephen: you can do anything with your career. >> anything. >> stephen: marry who you want. >> anything. you just have to support liverpool. and i'm absolutely passing that down onto my children now. they'll have a lot of choices in life. >> stephen: tell me what's going on here. >> oh, yeah, because they're doing a pre-season tour of america and so they brought the european cup to my office. and that is about as happy as i ever get. ( cheers and applause ) it was absolutely magic. i texted-- i texted that photo to my wife and she responded "that's the happiest i've ever
seen you in a photo," and i'm afraid she's right. ( laughter ) >> stephen: wedding pictures don't match? >> this is more exciting. also i'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to lift a sporting trophy but i think all sports would be better if that was the case. >> stephen: is it heavy? does it feel good? >> it was heavy, but you have to factor in my upper body strength, so it might be light. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's true. how early does your love of liverpool go? >> it goes down since i was a kid. my first thought as a child. i better support liverpool or i'll anger father. ( laughter ) >> stephen: was that a frequent concern? >> sure, yes. >> stephen: i need some u.k. political advice or knowledge. can you give me a little bit of that? >> sure. what do you want to know?
it's not going great. that's the kind of nutshell version of it for you. it's chaotic and it's about to get worse. >> stephen: in some ways i'm kind of off the caring of what happens with the brexit train because it's taken so long. let me know when it all implodes or doesn't happen. >> yes, that's fair. >> stephen: but i'm interested in who the next prime minister is going to be because the leading guy right now, correct me if i'm wrong, is a guy named boris johnson. >> right. >> stephen: tell me about him because he looks like a failed clone of donald trump. >> right. >> stephen: like they tried to clone donald trump with a toenail clipping that didn't quite take. what's his deal? >> to say he's a failed clone of donald trump is perfect because it's an insult to both of them somehow, that's why i like it. >> stephen: yeah. >> but we'll see. i guess he's likely to become prime minister. >> stephen: what's his deal? >> what's his deal? >> stephen: what's he known for? >> like entitlement from an
early age, a kind of deep, deep white-hot ambition pulsing through his life, no real principles to name of any kind. a kind of-- >> stephen: and what about boris johnson? what's he like? ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> well, that's the thing. superficially, they are similar. >> stephen: i believe the term is supercalifragilistic. >> that's correct. yes, and their different in meaningful ways, yet the end result is the same. it's like, what do you want to eat for dinner? a bowl of ( bleep ) or a bowl of screws. they're both awful and will hurt you in different ways. ( laughter ) >> stephen: there was a dustup kind of in the press and between politicians because these diplomatic cables. i love the term diplomatic cable, by the way. the british ambassador to the united states, a guy named kim duroche, a very polite guy, very
diplomatic -- >> and british diplomat, but he can really contain all feelings about anything and just calcify them into a diamond. >> stephen: and then he -- but in his cables, he was very frank and said this guy's an idiot, he's trying to blow up the world just because he's bitter about barack obama. >> i would argue that's still within the language of diplomacy with what he could have said. >> stephen: yeah? >> yes, he did say that. but it wasn't meant for public consumption. >> stephen: so he resigned. >> yes. >> stephen: boris johnson did not support kim duroche. >> no, he hung him out to dry. >> stephen: what does that pressage of what trump and johnson's relationship going to be like or who might take that place? >> who knows? boris johnson ( bleep ) talks most people on earth himself. he said trump was an idiot. so he's accusing kim duroche of- >> stephen: but if he says
anything nice about trump, he forgives you, it's all over. lindsey graham sad horrible things about donald trump. >> that's true. boris johnson has no principles whatsoever. so he's kind of like a moral wind sock. he will go whichever way the wind is blowing. >> stephen: sadly, we'll take another commercial break. you can stick around. can you stick around? we'll be right back with more john oliver! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) you know that look? that life of the party look. walk it off look. one more mile look. reply all look. own your look with fewer lines. there's only one botox® cosmetic. it's the only one fda approved to temporarily make frown lines, crow's feet and forehead lines look better. the effects of botox® cosmetic may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness may be a sign of a life-threatening condition. do not receive botox® cosmetic
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're back. we're back here with john oliver. john, does anything give you hope, john oliver? ( laughter ) >> if anything gives me hope -- >> stephen: yes. >> for the situation in britain or just-- >> stephen: just in general, what is it-- because things can be very dark, people can get very down, it's summertime, keep it light. ( laughter ) what is-- what do you turn to to like, buck up, stiff upper lip and all that? >> genuine hope or just the shell of optimism? >> stephen: this is too long of a pause between. i think i have my answer at this point. >> yeah. >> stephen: genuine hope. ( laughter ) all right. let's flip that one. what depresses you the most? >> oh, wow, okay. ( laughter )
well, oh, boy, it's-- you're presenting me with a smorgasbord there. >> stephen: i believe they call that finding thepo >> yeah. do they? is that what they call it? >> stephen: they do call it that, yeah, exactly. >> yeah, i don't think i hope, i guess i hope that humanity in general, in its localities and in the global sense can turn this around. i hope, you know, you see kids being nice to each other, that's something. >> stephen: yes, that is nice. that is lovely. >> you just think, maybe you'll pick this baton up in the future and run with it. >> stephen: yes. >> but yeah, things have, well, as you well know, when you imbibe the news to the extent that we do, when you take that fire hose and just hold it over your mouth. >> stephen: when you lower yourself like carbon rods into the radioactive sludge that is the news today. >> yeah, it really-- the stink stays on you and i realize that you're just coming back from a
two-week vacation so you may have forgotten, we're ( bleep ), stephen. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: doesn't get any better than that. folks-- you know what i have to say to you? you know what i have to say to you? >> what? >> stephen: hakuna matata. >> yes. ( laughter ) >> stephen: "the lion king" is in theaters now. john oliver, everybody! we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) what! she's zip lining with little jon? it's lil jon. even he knows that. thanks, captain obvious. don't hate-like their trip, book yours with hotels.com and get rewarded basically everywhere. hotels.com. be there. do that. get rewarded. in a jimmy john's delivery zone. and you realize, holy moly, we won a house in a jimmy john's delivery zone. enter to win a house at jimmyjohns.com. because sandwich.
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( ban ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, what a treat. my next guest tonight is a cultural icon who, 50 years ago, led the new york jets to a super bowl victory and took home the m.v.p. award. he's no stranger to broadway. please welcome back to "the late show," joe namath! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) good to see you!
>> wow! ( ( band playing ) >> stephen: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: happy to have you back here in the ed sullivan theater where you were, 50 years ago, right there with mr. sullivan after winning the super bowl. you haven't changed a bit! you're actually remarkably unchanged. ( laughter ) now, i look a lot like mr. sullivan at this point. now, you're not just a sports hero, but you're also an icon of many things, but style is one of them. you've got some extraordinary sartorial choices.
( cheers and applause ) why-- when did the furs start? why so many furs, joe namath? >> i just got lucky, you know. i like clothes, and i figure i like the style-- >> stephen: were you often cold? >> yes, i get cold. i mean, it's cold in here, too, as a matter of fact. >> stephen: well, if you're cold, would you-- joe, i got you a little something here if you want to wear it. ( cheers and applause ) it's faux! >> you got that for me? oh, my gosh! >> stephen: it's 2019, so it's a faux fur, sir, if you don't mind. wow matter of style!su. >> how about, wait a minute, wait a minute! ha! ha! ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay, i'll try.
oh! there you go. >> all right! >> stephen: that's nice. there we go, yeah. >> we're going to take this another step further. >> stephen: we're going to take this another step? >> you've got to be cool, now. >> stephen: i've got to be cool? >> yes. >> stephen: all right. >> you've got to take those off. >> stephen: yeah? >> i mean yours. >> stephen: you brought your own props, i like this. >> i did, i did. it's your team, you know. >> stephen: all right, all right. there you go. ( cheers and applause ) really. this feels-- >> whoo. this feels good. i like this coat. >> stephen: this feels right. ( laughter ) it actually really strangely does look right on you. not everyone can pull that off. now, you're known as broadway joe. you lived the high life, you know, you went out a lot. how could you go out during the season and still play or still
practice? how did you maintain both of those, mr. joe namath? >> i tell you what, stephen, we got lucky. we had a coach, named weeb ewbank, that did not want to practice before game time. game time is usually 1:00 in the afternoon, so we had to be at the stadium to practice every day at 12:00 high noon. now, i'm pretty good at math, and it didn't take me long to figure out, for me to get seven hours' sleep-- because shea stadium was very close, what time would i have to go to sleep at night? this is new york, man, right? >> stephen: sure. >> well, hey, i made a good run. >> stephen: 5:00 in the morning and you're fine. >> well, four was good. you could get seven hours. >> stephen: you have a new book called "all the way," and, in this, you do play-by-play, essentially, you do analysis of
your own plays, your own action on the field. but i've got another play-by- play i'd like you to do for us right now. we've got some footage of you. i'd like you to tell us, well, see the footage and tell us what's going on here. jim? >> this commercial will prove to the women of america that beauty mist panty hose can make any leg look like a million dollars. >> yeah. now, i don't wear panty hose, but if beauty mist can make my legs look good, imagine what they'll do for yours. >> somehow everything looks better through beauty mist. >> especially your legs. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: now, you became-- that was famous, that was very famous. that caused quite a splash in the day. did you, like, when this idea was brought to you, did you jump straight at it or you're, like, i'm not going to do that.
>> now, you know what, man, we looked at the story board, and we thought it was fun, a partner of mine and i. we turned to the lady, the secretary in the room, and said, "so, what do you think about this?" you know, we were excited about doing it because it was a good product, certainly. and she said, "oh, it's funny, but my dad wouldn't like it." why? what do you mean your dad wouldn't like it? "he said football players aren't supposed to wear panty hose!" and i said, "well." it was a good day, it was a good company and a good payday, so we went for it. >> stephen: sure. >> and one good thing about it, i went back to alabama after it was made and the gentleman came in a restaurant that i had there, and he was an old timer about 80 years old and he said, "looky here, joe willie's son." he said, "i don't mind you wearing them there panty hose, boy, but did you shave your legs?" ( laughter ) yeah! the fact of the matter is, if you tape your knees and tape your ankles, you better shave
your legs ahead of time, yeah. >> stephen: well, sure, sure. did you ever-- you were also known for dating quite a few quite beautiful women, did you-- were you ever intimidated back in the day? are there any stories of your intimidation in here of asking a young lady out? >> yes. ( laughter ) >> stephen: would you, and i don't mean to pry, but would you be willing to share one of those stories with us? >> no, no! ( laughter ) no! it's in there, you know. >> stephen: you've got to buy the book or you won't tell us the story? you went out with raquel welch. >> yeah, we went to the oscars together, that's right. >> stephen: that's got to be intimidating. >> that was. yeah, that was really intimidating, and she was very special, of course. >> stephen: now, i've got to go here in a second, but just personally i've got to ask a question-- i'll switch over here so i can see who you are. there you are. you actually, you guest hosted "the tonight show" for johnny. what an amazing experience. what was that like for you to
sit in that chair? >> steve, it was terrifying. i mean, it wasn't terrifying because i had been a guest on the show a few times. >> stephen: of course, but it's a difference to have to drive it. >> freddy de cordova was over here helping me, guiding me, ed mcmahon, you know, and so, what happened though, buddy hackett came on. >> stephen: great comedian, buddy hackett. >> yeah, man, he was really something. and, so, we're setting up this part where buddy is supposed to get up and go do a bit, a talk. and i said, "well, mr. hackett, buddy, you're going to do a bit for us, come on, let's go." and he said, "nope." ( laughter ) i didn't know what to do. >> stephen: right. >> i didn't know. i said, "oh, okay, well, we'll take a break. we'll take a break here." >> stephen: yeah. >> i was stunned. >> stephen: did you by any chance at any point ever ask buddy hackett to tell a story about being intimidated by some of the beautiful women he asked out? ( laughter ) and he said, "no you have to read it in the book?"
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>> ste >> stephen: good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from a r ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from inside cupplepups, whipple flich,