tv NBC Nightly News With Lester Holt NBC February 12, 2016 5:30pm-6:00pm PST
- oh hi mrs. jefferson. - hello florence. - something wrong? - it's this telegram. - uh oh, telegrams always mean bad news. they usually mean somebody died. - well this one's worse. it says somebody's coming. - oh shoes that ain't nothing! i like meeting new people. you hear new ideas, fascinating stories, you'll have a lot of fun! - it's an old friend of george's. - i'll barricade the door. - no. that won't stop johnny moore. he's loud, obnoxious, chauvinistic, and the worst part of all, george really looks up to him. - well at his height, who don't he look up to? (audience laughs) - oh i don't know what i'm gonna do about johnny, he's just one of those people. - well what do you mean? - well, have you ever been cleaning a window
that just refuses to wipe off? - i don't do windows. (audience laughs) - oh. then have you ever been cleaning under a bed and come across one of those stubborn dust balls that refuses to budge? - i don't do under beds. (audience laughs) - oh. then have you ever been cashing your paycheck and gotten a lot less money than you thought you should've? - yeah, but what does that got to do with johnny moore? - nothing, but that happens when you don't do windows or clean under beds! (audience laughs) - you know, i bet you're worried about nothing. mr. jefferson's friend must've changed by now. - oh i don't know florence. - believe me mrs. jefferson, everybody changes. who do you know that stays the same year after year?
- louise, i lost one of the biggest accounts of my life today. i mean let's face it, i'm all washed up, i'm all burned out. - so that's what happened to the rest of your body. (audience laughs) - florence how can you say that to me after i defended you today? - you defended me? - yes! a man at work said "florence sure is an old maid." i said "how dare you call her a maid." (audience laughs) - george please. now what's so bad about losing an account? - because louise it's the third account this month. - fourth, but who's counting? - but this is my biggest account louise. this was the chateau michelle restaurant chain. - but i thought you said it was a piece of cake? - it was, see that's what i don't understand. okay, i go down with the contract this morning right. so the owner monjur deluse said that he would sign the contract over lunch. so here we are at lunch. i ordered a duck a l'orange and then i asked the guy to pass me some ketchup and he gets up and walks out.
- you put ketchup on a duck? - why not, it's meat ain't it? - then why don't you try wearing some ketchup on your head. mrs. jefferson, do you mind if i take the rest of the day off? i want to go to a movie. - no, you have to stay here and work. - work? - yeah, it's a new fad that's sweeping the country. a lot of employees are into it now. - i resent that. - oh, i'm sorry, i forgot the word sweeping offends you. - you know, from up here your head looks like a little brown egg in a nest. (audience laughs) - well being part of the vulture family, you should feel right at home. - now listen, oh never mind. all i get is insults. i mean day after day, week after week, month after month, year after miserable year. i work hard! and what do i get? a friendly smile? an occasional pat on the back. a little word of encouragement like
(audience laughs) no, not from you. not from anybody. i mean where does it end? where's my reward? where?! where? where?! - oh florence, we had no idea you felt that way. poor dear, listen, why don't you take off the rest of the night and go see a movie. - okay. (audience laughs) oh i hope i didn't ruin my makeup. nope, it looks fine. (audience laughs) - she's got a lot of nerve. i'm the one that hangs the tidy bowl. i'm the one that should be going to the movies. i've got all the troubles. maybe i should just hire a salesman and turn the whole thing over to him. yeah but then he'd probably want a lot of money or something. - uh george, why don't you read this telegram
- what is it? - well let's just say it will cheer you up a lot more than it did me. - your aunt gladys died?! johnny moore! louise, johnny moore's coming to town! - i know. - how long has it been since we saw him?! it must've been at least nine 10-- - 11 years, five months, two weeks, and three days. - how do you remember that?! - it's easy george. it's the day you and the neighbors had to get me off the ledge. - yeah, well thank god after your behavior he's willing to come back. florence! why don't you get john-- - george, george, george. now why don't you let johnny stay at a hotel this time? you know i'm not sure that he's too fond of me. and besides, when you two get together you're like two little kids. - i know louise, but see me and johnny go back a long time. i mean he taught me everything i know.
he taught me everything i know about life. he even taught me everything i know about women. (audience laughs) - that's the main reason i don't like him. now george, please, let him stay at a hotel this time. i'm asking you as a friend, as a wife, and as a woman who may beat you to death. - okay louise since you put it so nicely. - good, cause i really hate to get nasty. - but you gotta remember, we're much older now. i mean, let's face it. i'm more mature than i was then. and i'm sure johnny is too. - georgey. - johnny! - georgey! - you hurt me johnny! - i'm sorry georgey! hey look georgy i gotta joke for you. - oh man. - what were adam's first words after god made eve? - i don't know. - oh god, what's a headache.
- oh that reminds me, you remember louise? - yeah right. sure is good to see you georgey. - so what brings you to town? - a d-c 10. - a d-c 10. you hear that louise, a d-c 10! - he's going george. - hey georgey, you know i came on the spur of the moment. you know, i mean year after year i'm selling life insurance. i make the million dollar club, and the boss wants to send me to europe or somewhere. but this time as i was boarding the plane to monte carlo i said to myself "sexpot," that's me. "why not do something you want to do for a change!" and the thing i wanted most of all georgey was to come back here and spend a little time with the homeboy! and you louise. - you hear that louise, he called me homeboy. and he called you louise!
(audience laughs) - you know, i just remember the last time i was here louise. you served me a bloody mary that ranks up there with those of the famed ch teau de la b tiaz over in switzerland. remember, it was perfect! and might i add, it's a memory only overshadowed by the gentle ageless hands of the graceful lovely woman who created it. (audience laughs) - in other words, you would like a drink. - what a girl! - he's only moments from death george. - so johny where you staying? - hey listen, i reserved this little penthouse over at the plaza. you know, i mean this was all of a sudden. i figure i can't barge in on you and besides, the boss is picking up the tab so why not go for the best huh? - johnny! - exactly, and the plaza is definitely the best place for you johnny. - too true louise, all too true.
(george and johnny laugh) - [johnny] georgey! - [george] johnny! - georgey, johnny! george! - [geroge] yeah louise. - it's after two in the morning! come to bed! - [george] be right there. (george and johnny laugh) that's all right. - it's about time george! and from now on i want-- - hey georgey, i beg your pardon! (louise screams) - hey! - you gotta hear this one! - you better count your blessings louise. he could've told me this outside you know. go ahead johnny. - well the other day i went to the dictionary to look up the word bigamy. the definition was having one wife too many. then i looked up the word marriage.
(george laughs) - ain't he great louise? - him, out, now! - georgey, i better turn in. - awe man. - hey, come on man. would pryor do his whole act in one day? would cosby, would carson, would dressing? - who's dressing? - the rockettes, wanna watch? yeah, yeah, yeah, night georgey. - oh boy, what a great guy. you know i've never laughed so much in my life louise. that guy's a lot of fun. - sure, fun. like yesterday when he put the tabasco sauce in my lipstick. - oh yeah, now that was funny. especially the part where you were sucking on that ice cube that johnny put the fly in. (george laughs) - george, i just don't like that man. and if he stays here one more day you're gonna find him in the oven!
- now tomorrow morning, i want you to put him up in a hotel. preferably in bay route. (audience laughs) - a hotel louise? but that would be an insult to him and he ain't did nothing to nobody. (female screams) - [johnny] oops, i'm sorry florence i didn't know this was your room. (glass breaks) owe! - [florence] well i knew that was your head! (george laughs) - george! a hotel! - okay louise, but you tell him. you the one who told him to stay here in the first place. so you tell him to go to a hotel. - but! - [george] but nothing! - [george] look, johnny's my friend. i don't wanna hurt his feelings. now you the one that told him he could stay here in the first place and now you tell him he's gotta go to a hotel. right, enough said, lights out. good night. (george laughs) one wife too many. (george laughs)
(george laughs) - hey tom, hey tom i'm sorry man, but accidents happen. - yeah willis, be a sport. besides, you look good in blue cheese dressing. - i don't care george, i don't want to talk about it anymore! - hey florence, you find that little rubber lizard i put in your shoe this morning? - mmm hmm, i threw it in the incinerator. (johnny laughs) along with your suit. (audience laughs) oh mrs. jefferson did you enjoy your lunch? - florence, i've never been so embarrassed in my whole life! - what happened? - 15 years we've been going to that restaurant. and this is the first time the chef ever came out to see us. of course it was to bury a meat clever in our table. - oh it was a lousy restaurant anyway florence. bad food, bad service, and a bad attitude
(audience laughs) now look, if it's good food you really want, i know this little place down in new orleans. play your cards right and i'll take you there. huh, what do you say my little handy wife? (audience laughs) (audience applauds) hey florence you owe me two bucks! - for the cigar or the suit? (audience laughs) - florence, johnny is my friend and a guest in this house. and i demand that you show him the same respect that you show me. (audience laughs) - i can't. he ain't short and bald. he's short and fat. (audience laughs) - look, don't pay her no mind. i'm gonna change my clothes, why don't you go make yourself a sandwich? - that's a great idea georgey. hey don't mind me, i'll just fix a little snack.
- only if i can make it with poison. - ah, i'll get it myself. tom, i'm so sorry about your suit. i'll have it cleaned as soon as possible. - oh that's all right louise. but there is one thing that burns me up. - what? - i don't think this is real blue cheese dressing at all! i think it's imitation cheese food. i mean at those prices-- - oh thank you tom. - oh helen, what am i gonna do? i don't want to push too hard because george and johnny are friends. but when they get together it's as if they never grew up! - disgusting. - well now dear, in both their defense, it's only natural for two good friends to try to recapture their youth after a long separation. i remember-- - oh tom, in the name of decency, not another story! (audience laughs)
that happened to me some years back. you see my good friend steven mceven and i were raised in boston around a little park. but outside of this park was a sign that said "no bicycle riding allowed." well of course being a boisterous all american boys we strictly obeyed that sign and rode our bikes outside the park. - oh. (louise laughs) - i'm not through yet louise. 15 years later, i ran across steven in boston. and it wasn't five minutes til we were into a deep dish pizza and when we started talking about that gosh darn sign. oh sure we laughed at first. but then, it suddenly dawned on us. i mean, who are they to tell us what we could and couldn't do? i mean after all, it was our park and our bikes! i mean that's the kind of frenzy we worked ourselves up into.
- so what happened tom? - why did you ask? - it slipped. - well you can imagine what happened. steve, oh that's what i used to call steven. you know. steve and i, oh we had a couple of beers and then we marched over to that park! and if they hadn't put a bank up in that spot the word no in the no bike riding sign would be crossed out today! (audience laughs) - is he finished? - it's hard to tell. - pretty powerful stuff huh? - he's finished. look louise, if there's no other recourse with johnny you just have to ask him to leave. - that's what george said, but helen i just couldn't. (tom laughing)
- look louise, just throw johnny out. after all, this is your home too. - but johnny is one of george's oldest friends. - and you're one of yours. now if he is crass? - which he is. - and chauvinistic. - oh yes. - and loud, and obnoxious, and makes you miserable, what other choice do you have? - but i-- - stand up for yourself! look out for numero uno! now the next time that man gets on your nerve honey you just lay down the law! - that's right! and feel free to use the bicycle story. sure, it's yours. - uh, helen, do you really think i could be that forceful? - sure you can. - oh no, i can't. - sure you can! - oh no, i just can't.
- get out! (audience laughs) - we better go tom. well what for helen? i mean louise likes us. - yes. - oh helen, i think some croutons worked their way down into my shorts. (audience laughs) - you really want me to leave louise? - listen johnny. now you and george are the best of friends. and i wouldn't want to ruin that, but when it comes to you and me. well, i just think it would be better if you stayed somewhere else. and i believe i'm speaking for tom and for helen. - [florence] and for florence! (audience laughs) - and for florence. and just to show you there's no hard feelings you can still visit george whenever you feel like it. and i'll make reservations for you at the plaza right now. - louise i can't afford the plaza. - with the money you make?
- but i don't understand johnny. your job in chicago. - ended six months ago. i got fired. i mean everything else is true. the million dollar club and the trips and all that. you see, i had this streak of bad luck. i met this gorgeous beautiful woman who fell madly in love with me. - what's so bad about that? - she was the boss's mistress. and when he got the news i found myself out of a job and it's been that way ever since. - oh i'm sorry johnny. but you must still be a great salesman. if you made the million dollar club. - louise, i'm getting older. employees seem to shy away from that no matter how good you are. but look, let's not dwell on the past okay? i'll go pack. but just do me a favor? - what is it? - don't tell georgey about this. i mean he's always kinda looked up to me and the last thing i need now is pity.
- [george] hey johnny! - hey georgey baby! i gotta fly back home tonight! - what?! - yeah, i called in and the boss say everything is falling down around him. so i gotta go back and bail him out. as usual. - [george] as usual. - [george] man, we're just starting to have fun. - hey i'm sorry. and you know i'm the last cat in the world to get mushy. but the longer i stay the harder it gets for me to leave. well i'd like to thank you for putting up with me though. the both of you. - george, since we have john here right now. why don't you tell him about that sales job you've got open? - oh come one louise, i don't want to insult him. johnny's beyond that. - ask him anyway. - what are talking, i don't want him laughing in my face! - ask me george, i'm walking as slow as i can. (audience laughs) - okay johnny look, i got a job for a salesman at the cleaners. but you wouldn't want to leave a successful job like you got for something like that would you? - when do you want me to start? - see i told you louise.
you would? - hey man look, i realize it's a major step backwards for me, but georgey you need me. - what a guy huh? - you got that right. - hey, okay i'll take you downstairs and we'll look over the operations okay pal? - [johnny] okay. - this is great, johnny and georgey back together again! - [johnny] yeah! - [george] ain't that great louise? - i'm all a dither. (audience laughs) - hey georgey i want to thank you man. and especially you louise. hey, let's go have a drink! let's have a lot of drinks! okay, you wanna come louise? - well-- - no on second thought this is a night out for the guys. right georgey? can't have a good time dragging the old ball and chain around! - see ya later. - oh just a second johnny! just to show you how i feel about you. i wanna try something. - what's that? - johnny! - louise!
- i meant to johnny! - hey! (audience applauds) - florence, did you finish your work yet? - oh to tell you the truth mrs. jefferson i'm a little tired. i thought i'd call it a day and just relax. - not until you finish your work. - okay, i'll do it, as usual. day after day, month after month, year after miserable year. where's my reward, where? where, where?! - here, here, here. (audience applauds)