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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 20, 2015 10:34pm-11:37pm CDT

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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 330! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey! [ cheers and applause ] love you guys. hey, welcome. welcome, everybody. welcome to the "the tonight show." thank you so much for being here. thank you. oh, you all made it. this is all you. this is you. [ cheers and applause ] looking good. welcome to "the tonight show." i'm your host, jimmy fallon. and if you're watching us after
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the debate, you can turn up your volume now. [ laughter ] big night for politics. big night for us here. we have democratic presidential candidate and former secretary of state hillary clinton on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] big deal for us. and, we have rapper fetty wap on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] did somebody say running mates? [ laughter ] as you can imagine with hillary clinton being here, security is very tight. the secret service has been here all day, sweeping the halls, sweeping the offices, the hard drives. i mean, everything. [ laughter and applause ] guys, get this. jim gilmore was the only g.o.p. candidate not invited to the republican debates tonight. but i saw that he actually
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plans to live tweet it. [ light laughter ] when he heard that, jeb bush was like, "can i do that? [ laughter ] i don't want to be -- i don't want to be here. i don't want to do this." that's right, jim gilmore plans to live tweet tonight's debate. so, get ready, world. [ light laughter ] and by world, i mean jim gilmore's almost 1,500 followers. [ laughter and applause ] he has almost as many followers as miley cyrus's pet turtle. [ laughter ] that's very interesting. a little trivia. get this. a conservative super pac just announced yesterday that they plan to spend $1 million on campaign ads attacking donald trump. trump was like, "make it $2 million and i'll star in them." [ laughter and applause ] "i'll do it. what do i care?" listen to this, you guys, a a donor that gave rick perry $5 million said this week he wants his money back. [ light laughter ] which only got worse when rick perry was like, "but i
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[ laughter and applause ] and this isn't good here. i saw that according to the new poll, almost half of florida voters think their own candidates, jeb bush and marco rubio, should drop out of the race. [ audience oohs ] while the other half of florida keeps asking what happened to eisenhower. [ laughter ] "i love ike. where did he go?" [ light laughter ] check this out. mark zuckerberg announced yesterday that facebook is working on a dislike button. [ audience ohs ] now the options will be "like" or "dislike." yeah, i don't know. i still feel, it doesn't feel like enough. it's too black and white. i feel like there's more. so, we came up with more buttons that say how we really feel about things that we see on facebook. [ light laughter ] check this out. like first, there's the "your third baby isn't as exciting as your first baby" button. [ laughter and applause ] we've seen it. congratulations. then there's the "we get it, you got engaged" button. [ laughter and applause ]
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[ cheers ] after that, there's the "i clicked 'maybe' to be polite, but there's no way i'm going to your band's show" button. [ laughter and applause ] then there's the "get over yourself, you made dinner, not history" button. [ laughter and applause ] beautiful. >> steve: nice. >> jimmy: and finally, there's the "it's just a 5k, so quit acting like you won 'american ninja warrior'" button. [ laughter and applause ] that would make facebook much easier. we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fantastic show tonight. former new york senator, secretary of state, and first lady of the united states, hillary clinton is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh!
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come on! >> jimmy: i cannot wait to talk to her. it's gonna be fantastic. plus, she's getting great reviews for her performance in the new movie "black mass." dakota johnson is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: i like her. and we have great music from fetty wap, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: here's fetty wap. guys, we're in week two of the nfl season. and sunday night's big match-up is between the seattle seahawks and the green bay packers. [ scattered cheers ] yeah. now, as you know, at the end of every season, they give out awards like "most valuable player." but they also give out awards at the beginning of the season, sort of like the ones in high school year books, like "most likely to succeed," "class clown," stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show" superlatives. [ cheers and applause ] tonight show superlatives >> jimmy: our first player is josh sitton. he's a guard for the green bay
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packers. he was voted "most likely to be the old photo santa used for his tinder account." [ laughter ] >> steve: looks good. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. next, we have bryan bulaga. he's a defensive tackle for the packers. he was voted "most likely to change the channel by throwing a beer can." [ laughter ] [ slurring ] "i ain't watchin' 'house wives'!" next up is j.r. sweezy. he's a guard from the seattle seahawks. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] he was voted "most likely to say, 'as you wish, master,' every time the qb calls a a play." [ laughter and applause ] next from the packers is b.j. raji. he was voted "most likely to be what shaq looked like as a
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[ laughter ] "goo-goo ga-ga. goo-goo ga-ga." [ laughter ] next up from the seahawks is jon ryan. he was voted "most likely to get sunburned by the moon." [ laughter ] >> steve: my skin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: next from the seahawks, starting quarterback russell wilson. he was voted "most likely to wave with just his fingers." [ laughter ] next up is mark glowinski from the seahawks. he was voted "most likely to ask you if you wanted to go pig ticklin'." [ laughter ] next from the packers, we have ha ha clinton-dix. [ light laughter ] he was voted "most likely to have someone else order for him at starbucks." [ laughter ]
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you do it." next we have will tukuafu from the seahawks. he was voted "most likely to have literally turned his smile upside down." [ laughter ] could we see what it would look like? there you go. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: i'm sad. i'm happy. >> jimmy: finally, from the seahawks is marshawn lynch. [ audience ohs ] ladies and gentlemen, he was voted "most likely to say, 'jimmy fallon? i love those guys.'" [ laughter ] there you go, guys. those are nfl superlatives. we'll be right back with hillary clinton, everybody! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] the most advanced iphone yet. get the new iphone 6s at t-mobile. the network that's doubled its lte coverage in the past year.
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dear future, life is good. no, great. i'm like, a man. only better. but even though i know everything, i still feel like you could surprise me. like that skateboard incident with the squirrel. but life is sweet now. hey, what could go wrong? it's you and me all the way, future. let's get going. [ cheers and applause ] [ phone ringing ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. who's this? >> jimmy: congratulations. you're speaking to donald trump. [ laughter ] >> oh, hello, donald. >> jimmy: how are you, hillary?
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last wedding. >> well, i'm sure i'll see you at the next one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anyway, i just finished the g.o.p. debate. as usual, i was fantastic. everyone loved me. now, look, i know you're about to go out for your interview with jimmy fallon. but he's a total lightweight, so i'm going to do him a favor and interview you instead. >> that's great. you know how much i love being interviewed. as long as you don't start talking over me when i'm trying to make a point -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. question one. [ laughter ] you recently said, "mr. trump insults and dismisses women." but tell me, what would you do to help women in this country? >> you know, donald, i've spent my entire career fighting for women's rights. i'll push for equal pay in the work place. [ cheers ] for protecting women's health and reproductive rights, making quality affordable child care a a reality for families. that's what i believe in. that's what i'm fighting for. and you know, i'm really
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curious, donald. what is your stance on women's issues? >> jimmy: look, i know a lot of women, and they all have issues. [ laughter and applause ] next question. [ laughter ] how do you plan to get your message across to the american people? >> well, look donald, it's a a long campaign, and i'm traveling across our great nation. i'm listening to people's stories. i'm confident americans will see i can deliver for them, that they can count on me for them and their families. >> jimmy: see, you sound like a a robot. [ laughter ] bleep bloorp bleep bloorp, does not compute. you want to win, here's what you gotta do. first, yell. [ laughter ] i yell all the time. in fact, this phone isn't even plugged in. [ laughter ] i'm just yelling. [ cheers and applause ] and you're hearing me. okay.
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next -- [ laughter ] pick three things everyone loves and say that you hate them. watch. puppies -- stupid. [ laughter ] rainbows, total losers. fall foliage, tree puberty. [ laughter ] are you writing all this down? >> um, hold on. let me grab my pen. [ cheers and applause ] okay, donald, i got it. >> jimmy: all right. next question. immigration. wall or giant wall? [ laughter ] >> you know, come on, donald. america was built by people who came here, they worked their hearts out for a better life. and that's what many immigrants are doing today. their dream is to become american citizens. [ cheers and applause ] and you know, you're trying to stop them. i mean, do you have any idea
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what it's like to work so hard for something, to be so close to getting it, but then someone pops up out of nowhere and tries to take it all away? >> jimmy: are you talking about bernie sanders? [ laughter ] look, i hate to say this, but i think he's losing his hair. [ laughter ] >> well -- >> jimmy: i hate to say it. he's a great guy, fantastic. i hate to say it he's losing his hair. >> yeah. well, at least he doesn't have just one strand that he twirls over his head like a soft serve at dairy queen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: toupee. i mean, touch\. [ laughter ] anyway, you're welcome for this interview. i just really helped your campaign. your poll numbers are going to be fantastic. they're going to be big. >> don't you mean they're going to be huge? >> jimmy: that's right. they're going to be huge. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a former first lady, senator from the state of new york, and secretary of state. she's also a best-selling author, a grandmother and the leading democratic candidate in the 2016 presidential election. please give a warm welcome to hillary clinton, ladies and gentlemen.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, welcome. thank you so much. thank you for being here. i really appreciate it. it really means a lot to me. >> i'm thrilled to be here. this is my debut on your program. >> jimmy: it is. >> it is. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy to have you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, i have a lot to get to here. this, of course, tonight was the gop debate. >> yes, that's true. second one. >> jimmy: this is the second gop debate. >> right. >> jimmy: the two leaders over there on the republican party, one is a real estate mogul. >> right. >> jimmy: the other guy is a a neurosurgeon. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's in the lead, the other candidate. you were a senator, you were a a first lady. secretary of state. >> right. >> jimmy: is it possible that you have too much experience to become the president of the united states? [ laughter and applause ] is that possible? they have no experience. >> you know, it's really up to the voters to decide. you know, when you think about it, you can just, sort of, throw your head into the future and you could have the white house renamed the trump house.
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>> jimmy: yeah, yeah, sure. >> and you could have dr. carson doing surgery in the basement. >> jimmy: we could make it all work. >> it could all work. we're adaptable as americans. you never know what to expect from us. right? we can get it done. >> jimmy: we could do it. trump, is trump going to make it? is he going to last all the way? how long do you think he will last. do you feel like he's gonna go -- are you just maybe, waiting back, like rope- a-dope style? until he just gets tired, and then he's tired, and then you go, all right, out of the way, buddy? >> well, look, i think that he's going to go as long as he wants to go. and more power to him. that is one of the great things about this country. if you're over 35 and you're eligible as an american citizen, you can actually run for president. and so, he's making the most out of it. i'm having a good time watching it. i find it -- [ laughter and applause ] i do. i find it amazing. i mean, you were saying how much experience and all that. and you know, i know how hard
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this job is. i know what you have to do to try to figure out how to do it well. i obviously watched my husband. i worked with president obama. so i'm just sitting there thinking, imagine, you know, all of a sudden, you're in the kremlin. and somebody comes rushing in and goes, "oh, my gosh. did you hear what president trump said today?" [ light laughter ] you go, oh, my goodness. what does that mean? it might cause everybody else to just calm down because they wouldn't want to get it to be too excitable. >> jimmy: so they're all going to try to bring it down. >> just try to bring it down. you know, it could be good, i'm not sure. >> jimmy: we don't know. >> i love scenarios. >> jimmy: oh good, i like it -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i think you're very, very, very tough. i know you're a mother and i know you as a grandmother as well, but you're a tough mother. >> a tough mother? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. no, no, no. no, no, i meant that in the best way. [ cheers and applause ] you are, i mean, seriously,
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[ laughter ] i wouldn't mess with you. no, i wouldn't mess with you. i wouldn't fight with you. you're like if ronda rousey shopped at ann taylor loft. [ laughter ] you know what i'm saying by that? a lot of people go like, are you tough enough to be president? are you tough enough to be president? >> yes i think so. [ cheers ] but, you know, look, you've got to be a lot of different things to be a good president. you've got to start with really understanding what people are going through, and trying to figure out how you can help everybody have a better shot at a future they deserve. that's my, you know, mission in this campaign, and as president, but there are problems in the world. and there are, believe it or not, some people who don't agree with us. and might want to cause some mischief. so, you do have to be prepared to do it in a sensible, smart way. not bullying, but you know, with a little more diplomacy. i think that's how you get the right combination. >> jimmy: speaking of trump --
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[ laughter ] >> which you seem to do a lot of, jimmy. >> jimmy: he's the best thing that happened to our show. in every monologue. >> have you ever been able to let him touch, let you touch his hair? >> jimmy: his real hair? >> his real hair. have you ever really touched it? >> jimmy: he's only been here, it feels like a hologram when he's here. i've never touched his real, i don't know, i think it is real hair. he never let me touch his hair. >> you want to touch mine? >> jimmy: of course. >> okay, go ahead. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's real. it's real. it's real. it's real and it's got wave, and it's fantastic, you guys. and it smells great. [ laughter ] >> you can't say the same thing about the color. but the hair is real. >> jimmy: but you're getting close. >> it's getting close. >> jimmy: we can work on that. >> exactly. >> jimmy: he was saying, he was talking about you. we had him on the show. he was great. we talked to him.
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he goes, "you know, hillary clinton uses the teleprompter." >> yeah. >> jimmy: scripted too much. >> right. well, yeah. >> jimmy: what do you think? >> well, you know, i have used them from time to time. i learned that from watching how successful president obama was. because he knows what he wants to say, and he really is intent upon delivering it. but i could go more stream of consciousness. you know, this is a huge election. you never know what might happen. let's get rid of the people who don't agree with us and only talk to the people who do. you could do that without a a teleprompter. >> jimmy: yeah. that's perfect, yeah. [ light laughter ] that was a good impression. if i need somebody, i'm going to call you. [ applause ] i'm gonna go unscripted. i'm gonna go unscripted. >> oh, good. get rid of the script, get rid of the teleprompter. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm good. >> just be liberated. >> jimmy: yup. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: where were we? can i just talk about the e-mail scandal? >> sure. >> jimmy: what is in the
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e-mails? can you just say what's in the e-mails? that's all we want to know. if you tell us what's in the e-mails i'll get over it. >> yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what we're thinking is probably much worse. are you just like typing in all caps? is it embarrassing? >> a lot of misspellings. >> jimmy: is it like my mom where everything is in the subject line and nothing is in the body? [ laughter ] >> well, it's kind of a a variation on that. and there are thousands of them that are already out there. most people have gotten bored after reading ten or 12, because they're boring. they're kind of, you know, what are we doing? how do we do it, when is the meeting? now, the most significant one that has come to light because this was a really important issue. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i had to talk about it on e-mail. and that is i was asked if i could get gefilte fish into israel in order for it to be used in time for passover. and, so -- >> jimmy: that was the gefilte fish. >> that was the gefilte fish
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email. >> jimmy: well, here's the thing, everyone was saying, oh some of these are top secret e-mails. and they go, top secret, and they go top secret, and we got into the -- hacked into things. and they go, "but we're were going to release them, and we'll let everyone know what hillary --" and i go, "wait, do we want everyone knowing what the top secret e-mail is?" >> look, i said i have taken responsibility. i'm trying to be as transparent as possible, but nothing that was sent at the time or received was secret. this is all retroactive. it would be, it's a little hard to explain, but sometimes different government agencies argue about what should or shouldn't be what's called classified. then they say, hey it wasn't at the time, but maybe it should have been. someone else says, no, i disagree. they say, to be safe, maybe we ought to cross out some of the words. it wasn't at the time. and the stuff that's in it i think is really boring people. which kind of hurts my feelings. >> jimmy: no, no, very exciting. the gefilte fish is unbelievable. very exciting e-mail. i think the headline -- they missed a big headline. the headline should be "grandma knows how to use an e-mail."
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that's amazing. again, my mom has no clue what's going on. texts are like, blow her mind. but here you are, you're very good with social media. i want to ask you, you're using vine. you're doing vines, you're doing selfies. you're on twitter. do you know how to do these things, you know what these thing are? >> yeah, i do know what they are. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay good. >> now, i don't do them all myself. >> jimmy: no. >> obviously, you know, i work with a lot of people because i'm on the road all the time. things pop up and hey, what about this. somebody says the same to me. but, you know, it is the way to communicate. and you have to be, you know, excuse me, involved in hearing what's on people's minds and responding. i actually like it. i think it's a great way for people to feel like they're sharing ideas. they're part of a bigger community than you could ever be in reality. it's the online community. >> jimmy: but you took a selfie the other day with kim kardashian. >> i did. [ light laughter ] i did. >> jimmy: my question is, did
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you know who kim kardashian was when you took the selfie? >> of course, i did. absolutely. yeah. >> jimmy: i have a follow up -- >> and i have to say, she and her husband, kanye, came to one of my -- >> jimmy: what was his name again? >> came to one of my fund-raisers in l.a. i didn't know they were coming. they were just delightful. i really enjoyed meeting them and talking with them. and she's a pro about the selfie deal. she says to me -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. she's pretty good at that. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> you want to take a selfie? i said sure. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: pretty good, yeah. >> i got to tell you, jimmy. you know, i've had a lot of people take selfies with me, as you might guess. you know, at events today, you finish talking to people, you do a town hall, you go down, you shake hands. it used to be say, wait a a minute, i want to ask you about, you know, what our nuclear force posture might be. now they say, can we take a a selfie? i say, of course we can. and it's a huge part of the culture. >> jimmy: do you remember this
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story, 'cause i'm going to talk about this one time when i met you. you told me a great story when you were first lady at the white house. it's fascinating to me. you went out on your own for a a walk. you like to walk. >> right. i love to walk. >> jimmy: yeah, and you were walking in front of the white house. and there was a tourist that was taking a photo of the white house. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you remember this story? >> well, i was -- i walked out. i was at the back of the white house. and i was heading across the mall. i liked to go for walks. >> jimmy: no one knows who you are. >> nobody knows who i am. i have a pair of sunglasses, i have a baseball cap on. and there's -- it looks like a a family of tourists, and i'm waiting to cross the street, and they're standing there and they say, "would you mind taking a picture of us in front of the white house?" [ laughter ] i said, "i'd be happy to." so i get them posed up. this is back in the '90s. you didn't have a cell phone. >> jimmy: exactly, a real camera. >> it was a real camera. took the picture and off i went. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the first lady of the united states is taking a a photo. more with hillary clinton after the break, everybody.
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october first marked a change in how your debit and credit cards are protected. but some retailers fear it could interfere with holiday sales. we'll tell you what you can do to avoid any problems with your new cards. plus.... fall is in the air! unfortunately, so is ragweed. we'll have the details on how to help those allergies to make the
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're hangin' out with the former senator of the great state of new york, hillary clinton right here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] i was just saying, we -- the first time you and i met, i was with my wife, we just had a a baby. >> that's right. >> jimmy: and i was asking people for advice. and i asked you for advice. and do you remember your advice? >> i do, i do. and i think you and i went off. and i said, you know, whatever you do, read to your baby. and just read and talk and even sing. and you could do all of that. but especially reading to your baby. >> jimmy: yeah, and i was like, great, but she's an infant. i don't think she'll understand anything i'm saying. >> yeah, i know. you had a lot of questions like that. >> jimmy: but you were like, no sit down. i'm gonna tell you. this is really -- real advice. >> it is real advice. i mean, you -- you know because you've done it. and it really does make such a a difference to your child. and people say, well, why would i read to this infant? you know, what do they understand?
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they don't understand -- you're literally building their brain. you know, 80% of your brain is physically formed by the time you're three. and you're laying the foundation for the vocabulary that you will one day see as a a child learns to speak. so read, read, read. and you did it. and i hope everybody who watches you does it. >> jimmy: no, i did do it. and honest to gosh, their favorite book "the art of the deal" by donald trump. i don't know why. it's so weird. >> the illustrated version? >> jimmy: is there any other version? a lot of pictures. please, it's in my house. i need a lot of pictures. >> but you wrote a book. >> jimmy: i did. i wrote a book called "your baby's first word will be dada." >> yeah, you really made sure that winnie's first word was dada. >> jimmy: really, i tried as hard as i possibly -- >> should be sent into the wilderness. >> jimmy: i did. and we really worked hard. today was the first day of preschool. >> oh, my gosh. how are you doing? i don't even know how you're here. you're like working. >> jimmy: i was a mess. the whole day was -- i was just a mess. i mean, i walked in with my wife. we held her hand and i go,
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she's going to be crying. i wanted her to be like, oh daddy, you know? nothing. just went right in. [ laughter ] just her little hand left my hand. >> oh, my gosh. it's another one of those milestones. >> jimmy: it really was. >> it's hard. >> jimmy: i love it, but we have a 9-month-old baby. >> i heard. >> jimmy: and we're gonna just -- we're not gonna -- >> don't even send her to school. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] we're just gonna stare at her and just read to her all day. 'til she grows, 'til she gets married. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i wanna ask you some quick questions. we're running out of time. quick questions, you can give me quick answers if you want. >> great. >> jimmy: trump has immigration. >> right. >> jimmy: and bernie sanders has big business. >> right, right. >> jimmy: what would be your issue that defines your campaign? >> raising americans' incomes, getting more money into your paycheck so that you can have a a better chance and a better shot. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so, you have income. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you plan to make college more affordable? >> i've got a plan so that if you go to a public college or university, you will not have
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and i have a plan to lower the debt. reduce the interest rates, give people more of a chance to pay it off by doing some kind of service. [ cheers and applause ] and put a date certain where you're done. you've gotta to get out from under the twin problems of college is not affordable and the debt is just so burdensome. so, i'm addressing both. >> jimmy: and last question. [ applause ] where do you see yourself in five years? [ light laughter ] >> well, okay. if you agree, sitting right here, talking about running for re-election. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you for being here. >> thank you! >> jimmy: our thanks to democratic presidential candidate, hillary clinton, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] dakota johnson joins us after the break. stick around. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest stars opposite johnny depp in the new movie "black mass" which opens in theaters on friday.
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ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the show dakota johnson. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dakota. >> hi. >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. >> sorry i'm late. i was just chit-chatting with hillary. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yes, you met hillary. yeah, yeah, it's fun, yeah. that's what happens in our hallway. yeah, you have senators, you have secretary of states and now and then we have like live animals that walk down the hallway. it's a very weird hallway. very show business hallway back there. it's very interesting to have those people and actresses like yourself as well. thank you for being here. i'm psyched. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: last time we gave you a trophy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: last time because you were a third generation. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in your family to be on "the tonight show." >> yeah, i -- >> jimmy: your grandma. >> yeah. and my mom. >> jimmy: your mom, and then you. >> and then me. >> jimmy: yeah,
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congratulations. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i have never won anything before. >> jimmy: you never won a a trophy or anything? >> no. >> jimmy: in high school, nothing? >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> no. 'cause i was -- i'm just not very good at anything. >> jimmy: no. >> but i -- >> jimmy: sports? did you play sports? >> no, you know how sometimes when they give trophies to people, they also have an area where you can buy them? >> jimmy: i didn't know if i knew that, no. >> this is what happened last time. i don't know why, i just start laughing when i see you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're allowed to laugh. that's what the show's all about. have a good time. >> look. that's real tears. >> jimmy: yeah, show the cameras so we all understand that's what happens. >> which one? >> jimmy: that camera there, yeah. [ laughter ] but good. i want you to be happy that you get to be here. don't let makeup run or anything, yeah. [ laughter ] oh, my gosh.
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all right. let's focus here. we're talking about the trophy. >> you're gonna have to cut all of this out. >> jimmy: no, we won't. we'll leave all of it in. we'll leave all of it in. you won -- you won. you're telling me that you can buy trophies. [ laughter ] you can buy a trophy, yeah? [ laughter ] okay, let's just get off the trophy thing. we don't need to talk about the trophy thing. it's fine. you just keep crying and laughing and then i'll just talk. i want you to have fun. no, i want you to really try and enjoy yourself. [ laughter ] you just try to frown? that's not gonna work, either. you're trying to get sad? >> okay. >> jimmy: no, this is good. >> here we go. >> jimmy: you got it together. >> no, that guy. i can hear that guy laughing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have him removed. whoever's laughing, have him removed! throw him out of the theater. let's get into something else. let's talk about "fifty shades of grey."
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we can talk about that. congratulations on that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: being the biggest hit in the whole wide world. [ cheers and applause ] is there music playing? i hear music cranking. i can hear the music, but we'll just pretend we can't hear the music, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: even though it's thumping through the wall. >> that's hillary's dressing room. >> jimmy: no, it's not! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tell her to go home. tell her to go home. all right, now look. "50 shades" made half a billion dollars. oh, my gosh. are you excited? that's unbelievable. >> it was -- yeah, it was amazing. >> jimmy: it's your first big film, and it's the biggest -- one of the biggest films ever. >> yeah. but now here you are in "black mass." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's this giant movie. whitey bulger is johnny depp. it was just fantastic. >> johnny depp is whitey bulger. >> jimmy: yeah, i said whitey bulger, it's johnny depp. >> oh. >> jimmy: i slur my words sometimes. >> okay. >> jimmy: i was drinking with hillary. [ laughter ] >> me, too. >> jimmy: sorry.
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johnny depp is whitey bulger. and he's very convincing. and you play whitey bulger's or johnny depp's girlfriend. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, girlfriend, mother of his child. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you're very, very good. you're fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i like you. i really like you in the movie. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: you're fantastic. and you have a boston accent. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which i'm telling you, if you -- do you know anyone from boston? >> yeah, if you mess it up, they -- they might kill ya. >> jimmy: no, yeah. no, no, no, they won't go that far, but they will disown you, they won't talk to you. people in movies try the boston accent and it doesn't work. >> yeah. >> jimmy: if it's not perfect, they go get outta here. that's bad. i mean, that's not even that good. i can't do the boston accent. get outta here. >> get outta here. >> jimmy: get outta here. see yeah, you do it, you're so calm about it. yeah, but what did you do? did you study with a dialect coach? did you freak out? did you live in boston? >> i did. i worked with a dialect coach a a little bit. but i have a thing with eavesdropping. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, but you eavesdrop, you listen to people, where do you go? like train stations? >> well, no, yeah.
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well, if i was at restaurants or, you know, places i would just listen to the accents and then practice. >> jimmy: oh, really? so, say this movie was not whitey bulger. say it was set in france. could you do whitey bulger's girlfriend? >> yeah, i could do that. >> jimmy: what would it be like? >> monsier whitey. monsier blanc. monsieur blanc? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that french for white? yeah, blanc-y? blanc-y, une baguette, blanc-y. >> blanc-y, why ooh? >> jimmy: why? >> why do you to do these things? why ooh? >> jimmy: why ooh? that's really good. >> why ooh? >> jimmy: why ooh? i didn't know that's -- that's how you speak french. why ooh? >> ooh. >> jimmy: what if it was set in australia? >> okay, okay. so, whitey, it's so weird. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> what you're doin' is so weird. it's like not good. not good. so, bad. >> jimmy: so, bad.
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all right. [ laughter ] what if it was in the south, last one. >> whitey, why -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a lot of questions in this movie. why aren't -- why did you make that pecan pie? >> whitey! whitey, you gotta stop killin' people. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: see, that's -- dakota johnson, knows how to do it. thank you. for those who don't know the story about whitey bulger, it's a true story. can you set it up? can you explain it at all? >> it's about whitey bulger, who made an alliance with the fbi to bring down the italians in boston. and also he, you know, did a a lot of terrible things. >> jimmy: yeah, no, yeah, he's a very -- yeah, he's a tough, tough, tough -- >> based on the book "black mass." >> jimmy: here's a clip of her and johnny depp in "black mass." take a look at this.
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>> is that why you think you got in trouble?e 'cause you punched him in the face? all right, here's the deal. you did not get in trouble because you punched this sneaky brat in the face, not at all. you got in trouble because you punched a sneaky brat in the face in front of other people. >> i really don't think that's the right thing to be teaching your kids. >> no, that's absolutely what i should be telling them, viv. so the lesson you gotta learn is if nobody sees it, it didn't happen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dakota johnson, everybody. "black mass" is in theaters everywhere friday. fetty wap performs for us next.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest made his network debut on "the tonight show" this summer, and has since made billboard
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hip-hop act to chart his first four singles in the top ten at the same time. wow. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. performing "679" off his upcoming self-titled album, with a little help from monty of remy boyz and the roots. give it up for fetty wap! [ cheers and applause ] >> ladies and gentlemen. "the tonight show with jimmy fallon." fetty wap! come on! baby girl you're so damn fine though i'm tryna know if i could hit it from behind though i'm sipping on you like some fine wine though and when it's over i press rewind though you talking bands girl i got it benjamins all in my pocket i traded in my trues for some robins he playing batman fetty's gon' rob him i got a ---- in my 'rari 17 shots, no 38 i got a ---- in my 'rari 17 shots, no 38
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i'm like yeah, she's fine wonder when she'll be mine she walk past i press rewind to see that ass one more time and i got this sewed up remy boyz they know us all fast money no slow bucks no one can control us ay yeah baby tell me what you see is it money or it's me? i smoke twenty smell the weed i got hunnies in my v they like monty can you be my baby daddy i'm like, yeah i got robins on my jeans you see the wings on every pair all you see is remy boyz you know my ---- everywhere and if somebody got a problem we could meet up anywhere now go say some don't you ---- play dumb you know where we came from you don't want no a1
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yeah, she's fine wonder when she'll be mine she walk past i press rewind to see that ass one more time and i got this sewed up remy boyz they know us all fast money no slow bucks no one can control us ay, yeah baby [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fetty wap, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] monty! they've got the album out september 25th. my thanks to hillary clinton, dakota johnson, fetty wap! monty and the roots, right there, ladies and gentlemen! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in seth meyers." tonight -- neil patric harris. mayor of new york city bill de blasio. music from panic! at the disco. featuring band with abe laboriel jr. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. let's get to the news. presidential hopefuls donald trump and ted cruz held a rally yesterday on capitol hill in order to protest obama's proposed iran nuclear deal. the rally was also attended by sarah palin, glen beck and one of the villains from
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