tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC January 4, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CST
guests -- sylvester stallone, john stamos, musical guests shawn mendes and camila cabello, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 392, northern cyprus! whoo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. you made it. thank you for being here. this is it. you're part of the show. [ cheers and applause ] this is exciting.
how are you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: nice to see you. he wants to say hi to everybody. he made it. you made it. here he is. he's here. here he is. [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. find out that guy's name later. find out that guy's name. fantastic. [ laughter ] i want to start off by wishing everybody a happy new year, and thank you show much for being here. i appreciate that. i know a lot of you are a a little sore today after going to the gym for the first time since last january. [ laughter ] so, i appreciate it. i know how hard you work. [ applause ] as we start off the new year, the election is on everyone's mind. and get this, according to a a new poll, donald trump was the candidate americans would least want to have as their neighbor. [ laughter ] it makes sense because he'd build a massive wall between your yards and make you pay for it. he's like -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] "your tree's growing over my wall." actually on "face the nation" yesterday, donald trump accused ted cruz of copying his immigration reform plan, specifically his idea of
[ laughter ] then china said, "ah, hello, i think we kind of invented that whole wall thing." [ applause ] and senator lindsey graham suspended his presidential campaign over the holiday. so in honor of lindsey leaving the race for president, let's take a look at some of his greatest hits. >> maybe we need to drink more in washington. if i'm president, we're gonna drink more. that's the first thing i'm gonna do as president. we gon' drink more. [ laughter ] i'm 60, i'm not married, i don't have any kids. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: drink up, lindsey. drink up, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] he's a good guy. and get this, in a recent interview on npr's "morning edition", president obama said the question he would want to ask candidates is why they want to be president. a few of the candidates actually responded. check out whey they had to say here. bernie sanders says, "i want to bring back more economic equality." ted cruz said, "i want to stop government overreach." and hillary clinton said, "i have a list of names. [ laughter ] they're the names of every
friends, relatives. some know who they are. some won't know until it's too late. i remember everything and i never forgive. and soon, very soon, i will have all of the power in the world. and then when those people don't expect it, i will strike, and then 'hell' will only be a a word." [ evil laugh ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that's rough. >> jimmy: guys, listen to this. a new poll found that women in america are angrier about current events than men. and if you want to make them even angrier just tell them they seem angry. [ laughter ] you seem -- you seem angry, honey. what? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: the same poll found that white americans are angrier about current events than african-americans and latinos. african-americans and latinos would be more upset, but they're having too much fun watching white people get angry. [ laughter and applause ] did you guys see this
the buffalo bills beat the new york jets. but during the game, buffalo bills kicker dan carpenter missed an extra point attempt. and of course, he was pretty upset, but his troubles didn't end there. check out what happened. >> carpenter upset at himself, after the extra point try. >> you know, he was playing the wind. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: it got even worse when he turned around and stepped on a rake. it was like, ooh. [ thump ] [ laughter ] this is pretty cool, you guys. i heard that a man in london just took uber's one billionth ride. and to celebrate, uber gave him a years worth of free rides. [ audience oohs ] the man said he's excited to spend the entire year drunk. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i took an uber -- [ drunk mumbles ] [ laughter ] parents, you might want to listen to this. i just read about a new survey that found that teens in the u.s. are less rebellious than they used to be.
a bad ass when your name is kaleb. [ laughter and applause ] you tell him kaleb told you that! [ laughter ] i saw that koko, the 44-year-old gorilla that knows sign language was recorded giving a new year's message where she said that humans are stupid and need to protect the earth. [ laughter ] then koko's sister was like, "see this is why you're 44 and still single on new year's eve. [ laughter and applause ] i mean this is -- you can't go around being such a downer." [ cheers and applause ] koko. >> steve: koko. >> jimmy: yeah. and finally, i heard that china just installed new public bathrooms in beijing that actually offer wi-fi. yeah. a wi-fi enabled bathroom, or as we call that in america, starbucks. [ laughter ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots right there!
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. hot crowd. it's the first monday of the new year. we're so happy to be back. we have a big week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, kristen stewart will be here. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're gonna go head to head in the whisper challenge. plus, later this week, billy joel will be here. [ cheers and applause ] we have mark ruffalo, kendrick lamar, tyler perry will be joining us. it's a big week. but first, tonight is the show to be at. >> steve: yeah, this is it. >> jimmy: this is a fantastic show tonight. i mean, what a better way to kick off the new year than have a big time bona fide movie star as our first guest. he's up for a golden globe award this sunday for his fantastic work in the blockbuster "creed." rocky balboa himself, sylvester stallone is in the house tonight! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] rock.
and also this guy is a stud as well. from the new comedy "grandfathered" john stamos is on the show tonight. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: love that guy, too. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: and we have great music from shawn mendes and camila cabello. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good song. it's a hot song. i dig it. do you want to hear a little bit of it? >> steve: it's h-o-t, hot? >> jimmy: just a little, yeah. this is h-o-t hot. i know what you did last summer just lie to me there's no other >> jimmy: that's it. that's all you get. yeah. >> steve: what? that's it? >> jimmy: yeah, it's it. i can only do a dance with one hand. >> steve: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, it's time for screen grabs. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] make me wanna screen grab >> jimmy: hey! screen grabs. now, these are some weird, funny things that you guys have found on the internet or other places and then sent in to us. and so we're going to show them right now. the first screen grab was sent in by kevin anderson in highland, utah. he found a great deal on a
>> steve: oh, good. >> jimmy: check this out. "cyber monday lodging special, two nights for the price of three." that's a -- >> steve: oh, that's a good deal for the hotel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that sounds -- honey, i think we should go for it. >> steve: yeah. how much? >> jimmy: what if you give it to me for the price of four? >> steve: all right. there you go. double the fun. >> jimmy: guys, this next one was sent in by derek timm in philadelphia. he was filling out a health questionnaire online and came across this question. "how many fatal heart attacks have you had in the past year?" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. last year? >> jimmy: fatal. >> steve: last year? >> jimmy: i'm not sure that one counts. >> steve: that was more of a a stroke. >> jimmy: i'm gonna say zero. yeah. next one was sent in by tyler dyemint, in south portland, maine. he was searching netflix for something to watch. let's see what he found. oh, cool. "the legend of frosty the snowman." >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: let's take a look at the description here. [ laughter ] "20 years behind bars for a a crime he didn't commit. life as a free man is hard, especially when no one believes
>> steve: i murdered a man. i tore his face off. >> jimmy: all right. hey, hey, hey. frosty, frosty. >> steve: then i wore his skin. >> jimmy: the next one was sent in by kristin nicolas in hartford, connecticut. she was on facebook and spotted an s.a.t. book for sale. let's see the description here. "s.a.t. prep brook. like new. barely used as proved by my daughter's terrible s.a.t. scores. not the book's fault." [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh man. >> steve: has not been opened. >> jimmy: not the book's fault. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: my daughter didn't used it. >> steve: it's the kid. it's the daughter. >> jimmy: unused. >> steve: just awful scores. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by christi kimball in lehi, utah. she was shopping for a car seat online when she saw this. "chicco nextfit convertible car seat." sounds good. look down here at the bottom. "for use for child from 540 pounds in rear facing mode and up to 2,265 pounds for forward facing mode." [ applause ] i mean, big kids. >> steve: america's getting bigger. >> jimmy: but they gotta be
>> steve: yeah >> jimmy: you gotta be safe. >> steve: even big -- even fat kids gotta play it safe. >> jimmy: the car -- you drive the car. just taking junior to preschool, honey. >> steve: i want food. >> jimmy: all right. i'll feed you! i'll feed you! hurry up. >> steve: i want happy meals. >> jimmy: okay, we'll go get some happy meals! [ laughter ] why did we -- >> steve: me eat arm. >> jimmy: all right, all right, no eating arm. [ screech ] [ laughter ] he's still cute though, isn't he? >> steve: get him in the car. you gotta buy a convertible. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by logan lyles in rochester, new york. love rochester. shout out to my friend damian who lives in rochester. >> steve: oh yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. well his kid's second grade holiday schedule. second grade holiday schedule was texted to him. let's see what they got here. see what's on that here. "important dates, december 1st, cookies and milk with satan." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, come on. >> jimmy: everybody celebrates -- everybody celebrates in their own way. >> steve: you know what -- yep. don't be the judge. >> jimmy: whatever you gotta do, man.
makes a dang good cookie. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i don't know. >> steve: they're devilishly good. >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] >> steve: what the hell? >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by hannah biggs in houston, texas. it's one of those mugs with inspirational quotes on them. let's see what it says. "have the courage to follow your he-rat." [ laughter ] it just, it just warms the he-rat. >> steve: oh, it just warms the he-rat up. >> jimmy: warms the he-rat. >> steve: how many fatal heart attacks does your he-rat -- >> jimmy: i think i'm having a a he-rat attack. i'm having a he-rat attack. >> steve: is it fa-tal? >> jimmy: no it's like -- it's not fa-tal. no. [ laughter ] we're down to our last one here. this one sent in by edmunds kalnins in riga, latvia. yeah. he saw a photo from a local theater production of "snow white and the seven dwarves." he spotted a dwarf he says looks like me. [ laughter ] i don't know if i see it. take a look at this. like does this guy -- that doesn't look like me. [ laughter ] barely, barely, barely. >> steve: well. >> jimmy: does that look like me? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: let's try something here.
>> jimmy: let's see if this works. thank you, quest. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you know, the seven dwarves. it's fun to stay at the y-m [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i gotta see that. that's all the time we have for screen grabs. if you have a funny screen grab, e-mail it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. we might put it on the show. stick around, we'll be right back with sylvester stallone!
(cell phone rings) where are you? well the squirrels are back in the attic. mom? your dad won't call an exterminator... can i call you back, mom? he says it's personal this time... if you're a mom, you call at the worst time. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. where are you? it's very loud there. are you taking a zumba class? cheez-it grooves are the perfect union of a cheez-it and a chip. you mean like they got married? umm... i guess... you'd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. oh, it's a lab coat so... hey everyone, joe's getting married! bam bam ba bam. oh, i'm not. we take time for our cheese to mature
paris: there's a lot to do on a dairy farm. nobody's gonna do it for you. you have to get out there and do it yourself. bernie sanders is a well-known friend of family farms. bernie cannot be bought out by big money. bernie's opinion cannot be purchased. it's time for our next president to get in there, roll up his sleeves, take off the gloves, and take on wall street, take on big business, take on big money, and get the working class back to where they should be. he's a rock. sanders: i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody.
for a golden globe award this sunday for his wonderful work in "creed," playing, once again, the iconic film character he created and starred in almost 40 years ago. please welcome rocky himself, the one, the only, sylvester stallone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: looking good, as always, buddy. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: happy new year to you. >> likewise. >> jimmy: we had michael b. jordan on the show when "creed" first came out. he said, he goes, "you know, sylvester always wears
the nicest suits. and he's got the best style." and you really do. that's a beautiful suit. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look great. >> i had it painted on this afternoon. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's very nice. very interesting, yeah. you always look like you're in
do you have to be, because you're rocky? >> no, actually, it was just -- >> jimmy: i mean, i don't know. >> rocky's falling apart a a little bit. >> jimmy: no. absolutely not. >>
he's starting to become, like, roxanne. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. but i mean, i feel -- like, do have any new year's resolutions? do you have a thing where like -- you would never say, "oh, i got to work out more or go to the gym more." right? >> no, no. i've decided to not to go to the gym anymore and decided to -- i really want to eat everything. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah that's fantastic. you should do that. but this is a good time for you. you should be eating, because you're getting nominated for all these awards, golden globes this sunday. congratulations, for "creed." i mean, you're phenomenal. this is great. [ cheers and applause ] that's got to feel good. that's got to feel good, buddy. >> no, it was quite a pleasant surprise. i have to give total credit though to the director, ryan coogler, and michael b. jordan. they're extraordinary. i was just hanging on for the ride. >> jimmy: no, no, no. i told you backstage. i go, "you made me cry." like, oh, my gosh. it's tough for a man to tell another man, you did that. [ laughter ] but i had to do it, because it was moving. it was great.
this at first. >> no, no, because i was really happy with the last -- the hardest film i ever had to get off the ground was the last "rocky", because "rocky v" didn't work, and i just wanted to go out with kind of, like, some sense of accomplishment with the last, "rocky balboa." but they said, "hey, you know, it's kind of tough to do a a boxing film when you're following a bomb 15 years later and you're a 60-year-old fighter." it's like looking at a a 200-year-old pole dancer. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not -- no, no. >> the same thing. >> jimmy: that was one review. one review. big deal. [ laughter ] no, but i see this, you rebranded it. now it's a new thing. and you got michael b. jordan, who's fantastic as well. >> yeah, he is. >> jimmy: you guys work well together. after hearing all the stories, i mean, i think what people like about this is they feel for the character, rocky balboa, and you feel like anyone can get this. this could be anybody. this one, it tugs at your heart strings. and, just like --
it's one fight. there's one thing to be competitive in sports. and i thought, you know, this kid came up with an idea, the one fight that every one of us is going to have to fight is your own mortality. and whether it goes well, it goes bad, you're going to have to go down that road. and it's how you deal with it that makes it an interesting journey. >> jimmy: yeah, because you start the movie, the "rocky" movies, started off with just a a young guy who had nothing. >> nothing. >> jimmy: nothing to lose. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and now here we are. >> he's lost everything. >> jimmy: we followed the character all the way. it's like, it's just moving. i read up about you. i told you this, because i'm a a big fan. but the first "rocky", and tell me if i'm making this up, you had to sell your dog? >> yeah, i did, poor butkus. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: wait, hold on. there's a happy ending. >> when i moved to new york, for some reason, i've always liked dogs. i always had a dog. i had a very, very small room. it was about $28 every two weeks. they charge you by the week -- by every other week. so i bought a dog that was
>> jimmy: perfect. [ laughter ] he can fit in there. >> he was like barking furniture. >> jimmy: why not? >> a very large bull mastiff. anyway, i came out to california and i wrote "rocky." before i wrote "rocky", i'm sorry, i was pretty broke. and i had to go to the 7-eleven store. and i said, "you know what? i can't afford to feed the dog anymore." >> jimmy: can't afford to feed it? >> no, no, no. and i thought he was going to eat me eventually. [ laughter ] i said "one of us has to" -- >> jimmy: town ain't big enough for the both of us. >> so, a fellow came along and bought the dog for $50. supposedly, it was going to a a good home. then "rocky" happened, and i finally got paid. i went to the guy. i said, "can i buy my dog back?" he said, "sure, for $1,500." [ laughter ] "and a part in the movie." i said, "no, no, i'm not quite like that." but that was -- so the dog came back in the film. i just figured he had been through that whole journey, even though he didn't quite fit in the movie.
dog doing in a pet shop?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but he did. butkus. "yo, butkus." >> "yo, butkus." >> jimmy: that's my dog. he made his mark in the movie. >> he's still my screen saver. >> jimmy: is he really? >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: he's your screen saver right now? oh, my god. i love that story. i love that you got him back, too. and you took care of the guy, too, right? >> yeah, and he got to be in the movie. everyone lived happily ever after. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love it. i love people. yeah, "50 bucks? yeah, give me $1,000." >> $1,500. >> jimmy: you have a thing, a a saying in the movies called the "dead man walking scene." >> "dead man walking scene." when you do a "rocky" film for some reason, we decided to have this, kind of, initiation that you have to be clobbered, usually by a man infinitely stronger and larger, such as carl weathers, who is brilliant. he played apollo creed. but, you're talking about a a world-class athlete. >> jimmy: getting punched, really punching. >> oh, my gosh. if you want to know the weather for the next week. boom. [ laughter ]
so anyway -- >> jimmy: who hit you the hardest? >> dolph lundgren put me in the hospital for four and a half [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: dolph lundgren, really? >> it was unbelievable. [ laughter ] i mean, really. >> jimmy: what did he do? >> he hit me so hard in the chest, that the next thing i know, i was on a low altitude flight to intensive car at st. john's hospital surrounded by four nuns. [ laughter ] i thought, "here i go." >> jimmy: here's the end right >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? st. peter knows to call me. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so, michael b. jordan goes -- >> so, michael .b jordan goes, "hey, man, i'm part of the 'rocky' family." i said, "no, you're kind of like dead man walking, because unless you take the shot, you really can't be part of the family." he goes, "well, bring it on." so i go to the other fellow, who is a world champion, and i said, "just give a little hip to it." now, when a real pro hits you, it isn't like, you see the bar room brawls or these westerns, a big punch. it's boom! next thing you know, you're talking to angels. [ laughter ] and it just -- it's really
you. so michael goes, "bring it on. if you can do it, i'm going to do it." so i say, "be careful what you wish for, michael." >> jimmy: this is a clip. this is real. it's a clip of them filming, behind the scenes. but this made it into the movie. here's michael b. jordan getting the "dead man walking" watch this. it's real. >> set. background, sound speed, and action. [ laughter ] >> the band loves it. >> jimmy: i mean, wow! wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! >> can you believe that? >> jimmy: yeah. and you did how many "rocky" movies? [ laughter ] >> i'm telling you, man. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> it doesn't take much. i swear, it really doesn't. oh, no. >> jimmy: oh, my god. i want to show everyone a clip of the film, itself, that actually made it to the final. but this is more of a dramatic scene between you and creed, and just telling about the
and it's just fantastic. sylvester stallone as rocky in the film "creed." check this out. >> everything i got is moved on, and i'm here. but you know what? it's okay. because i said to myself, "if i break or i'm hurt, whatever, i ain't gonna fix it. why bother?" >> and i'm just a bum who's living in your crib. just nothing. >> you're a good kid, a good fighter, but you got your whole future ahead of you. mine? back there, like all them guys on the wall, in the back, in the past. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, no! sylvester stallone, everybody! nominated for a golden globe award for "creed" this sunday! best of luck to you, buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with john stamos. come on back, everybody.
come seek the royal caribbean. mmm, this turkey is natural? yeah. it's too good to be true. not again. real estate never goes down. fact. we'll have the baby, and i'll have my band, and it'll just work. right. don't worry about it honey. all of our family photos are right here (banging sound) on the hard drive. it's called a timeshare. we don't own it, we share it. let's do it. oh yeah. that is good. - mm-hmm. finally, something that's not too good to be true. it's oscar mayer natural turkey breast, and it tastes great. [ scanner beeping ] sir,could you step asisi? "sir"? come on. you know who i am. progressive insurance? uh, i save people an average of over $500 when they switch? did you pack your own bags?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy-nominated actor and producer, with a career spanning 30 years in television, film, and theater. you can now see him in the new comedy "grandfathered", it's a a funny show. ititeturns to fox tomorrow at 8:30 p.m. and you can see him in the new series "fuller house" coming to
[ cheers and applause ] everyone, please welcome john stamos. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy fallon! >> jimmy: it's always great to see you. >> i love you. >> jimmy: congrats on everything. >> congrats to you as well. >> jimmy: i have so many things to talk to you about. >> well, lets talk. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: including -- >> that's why i'm here, ririt? >> jimmy: do you remember the first time we met? >> tell this story, because he tells this story where i apparently fish hooked you in the mouth at a concert? it gets weirder. >> jimmy: no, i didn't -- fish
name -- i didn't know there was a name for what happened. >> yeah. >> jimmy: a weird thing. [ light laughter ] >> love? >> jimmy: it was a weird thing. it was definitely love at first sight. we were at a concert. we saw -- >> mccartney. >> jimmy: paul mccartney at citi field. >> right. >> jimmy: and it was unbelievable. and i'm sitting there and i'd never met you. i was there with my wife and hanging out -- >> alec baldwin, too. >> jimmy: i was there with my wife, alec baldwin. [ light laughter ]
we're not married anymore. well. bob saget, yeah. i was hanging out, i had a [ light laughter ] john stamos. or john's there or something like that, and i go, oh, and i turned around. but you already had your hand out to meet me. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and i turned around, and your thumb, your thumb went in my mouth. [ laughter ] >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. definitely. >> i would remember -- >> jimim: that definitely happened. >> that i i uld remember. >> jimmy: i know for a fact it happened. >> how could you -- explain -- >> jimmy: it was weird. >> do it on me. sam i'm -- >> jimmy: you were like this. i was sitting down. >> so i'm you. >> jimmy: you're talking that way. >> hi, alec. >> jimmy: hey, how's it going? like that. see, like that. [ laughter and applause ]
what i did. no, wait, so the whole thing. it kind of happened like that, really fast, it was really quick. it happened. we acted like nothing happened. we were cool with it. >> right. >> jimmy: you were cool. you're john stamos. >> one more time. say you're you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: you were coming in hot from that angle. [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah. >> hey. hey jude don't make it bad [ laughter ] >> something like that. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, so here's the deal -- >> now i remember. >> jimmy: now you remember. [ laughter ] but the concert goes on. and it's great and it's unbelievable. paul mccartney is amazing. and i'm sitting there. [ light laughter ] at one point i just look over and then we both made eye contact. [ light laughter ] we kind of nodded. we knew something went down earlier. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy, if you want to date me, just ask. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't remember this at all. >> i don't. but it's a good story. >> jimmy: it's a good story. and i was honored to have john stamos's thumb in my mouth.
because you know i'm a fan of yours. here you go, so "full house." now "fuller house" on netflix. everyone is going nuts about it. [ cheers and applause ] it's good to be you right now, man. february 26th. >> yeah. young girls are hosting binge parties all night, and saget is going to go to each one of the parties. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, he will, yeah. is it fun getting you guys back together? >> it's so fun. >> jimmy: with dave coulier and -- >> yeah, everybody. it brought back -- it was just like a family reunion, where some of the family members didn't show up. [ light laughter ] but it was -- it was -- a lot of old stories came e ck. you knkn, we used to carpool together, the three of us, to work. >> jimmy: did you really? >> yeah, and this is a 100% true story and bob tells it. we were driving and someone got hit in front of us. jackknifed and the car is spinning around. we bolt out, the three of us, and a woman is unconscious in the car. she comes to, and the three faces she looks up at, bob, dave, and me.. [ light laughter ] it's like she died and went to sitcom hell or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would have been amazing.
up and it's the cast of "growing pains." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hi, are you okay? oh, no. yeah, exactly. >> it's like explaining to the doctor. when i came to, i saw uncle jesse. locked h h up in the loony binin [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but also congrats on "grandfathered", it is a giant hit on fox. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's really funny. it's a great show. >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know one of the a great writer. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: funny, funny guy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and it's interesting that you would play a a grandfather. >> they called me, "we're doing a show about a bachelor grandfather." i said, "great, who's the grandfather? abe vigoda?" [ light laughter ] they go, "no, you." i said, "me? who believes i'm old enough to be a grandfather?" "everybody." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's not true. yeah. >> i love this show. please watch it. i have been waiting my whole life for this television show. >> jimmy: it's crushing. it's so good, and you're great with kids. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you have a way with children. >> i took the twins on the show to disney land. >> jimmy: just to be nice? >> yeah, sure. yeah.
no, because i don't like them. no, because josh peck who plays my son, and we went, and his wife to them, because babies are a great chick magnet. i didn't know if you know that. >> jimmy: i don't know this. >> i was carrying i think it was amelia on my shoulder and i see a girl. she's flirting. she wanted to take a selfie. back when we started, selfies were, you know, when you couldn't get a date. right? >> jimmy: yeah. [ light lalahter ] >> and she -- she -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what it was called. >> a selfie, right? >> jimmy: a selfie. yeah, sure. >> you remember, jimmy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. no, no, i don't remember. i don't remember that at all. >> anyway, i went over to hit on this girl, and the baby peed. i felt a warm feelinin pee all the way down my -- god bless her. >> jimmy: you had a girl coming over to get a picture with john stamos. instead, she would up getting a a picture of a baby peeing on john stamos. >> she got it. >> jimmy: it's really cute. you're great with kids. and i want to challenge you to a game called "kid dictionary." >> okay. >> jimmy: because i know you
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm hanging out with my best pal here, john stamos, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] his show "grandfathered" returns tomorrow night at 8:30 p.m. on fox. john, you've worked with a lot of kids throughout your career. do you think you're good at figuring out what kids are talking about, getting inside their heads? >> i think so. yes. >> jimmy: very good. >> i get along with you, so -- [ light laughter
] >> jimmy: thank you. we asked parents -- we asked parents to send in videos of their kids defining words for a game called "kid dictionary." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] tonight show kid dictionary >> jimmy: this is what we're going to do. >> okay. >> jimmy: i should have asked you before the show. but john and i are going to watch some of these videos andnd see if we can guess which word each kid is trying to define. okay? >> yeah. >> jimmy: ready. here's the first one.
manners and you climb on the cable, and when you burp, you don't say excuse me. and you are being bad at school. and that means you are -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: john, what do you think she's talking about? >> when you burp, you don't say excuse me. >> jimmy: when you jump on the table. >> you're a table jumper. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i would say a slob? >> slob, okay. >> jimmy: slob? what was the word? [ buzz ] rude. >> rude. >> jimmy: you're being rude. >> out of the
10,000 games they play on the show, i get a bomb. go ahead. [ light laughter ] this is good. this is a good game. go for it. [ laughter and applause ] i'd have been happier playing ping-pong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can't play ping-pong. >> that's rickles. ririles told me, i don't want to play ping-pong on the sw. >> jimmy: i don't want to play ping-pong. >> keep going. this is great. >> jimmy: let's check out another one.
serve food and drinks. it's really expensive, but
my mom still goes all the time. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a place that -- >> serves foododnd drinks. and it's expensive. >> jimmy: and her mom goes all the time. >> do you have a ping-pong table? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we're not playing ping-pong. >> a restaurant. >> jimmy: restaurant, right? [ buzz ] starbucks. [ light laughter ] all right. >> the kid could have said coffee. >> jimmy: could have said coffee. the kid d dn't say that. let's do one more, because i can tell you love this. >> let's keep going. it's good. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: mr. kid dictionary himself. here we go. last one. >> sort of a toy or object tool that spies use. some things like -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, wa. i think i know it. >> wake me when you get the answer. >> jimmy: no, no, no.
i know exactly what that is. that's a hand shake from john stamos. [ light laughter ] it goes -- >> how do i get people to watch "grandfathered"? >> jimmy: they're doing it right now. >> they are? >> jimmy: knowing that you're on here and they're going to watch, yeah. >> i want to give a visual. like a -- when people promote their stuff, they say, "oh, it's the greatest. i'm so proud." like, what you did with "fever pitch", remember? [ laughter ] it could turn out to be anything. you know what i'm saying. >> jimmy: yeah, it was the greatest. it was the greatest. >> it was like the "citizen kane" of fenway movies. >> jimmy: fenway park movies. yeah. >> right, yeah. >> jimmy: well, what do you want to do? together. a double whammy. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah. we can do that. guys -- i don't know. you have to go around this way. >> if you're flipping channels around on tuesday night, you don't know what to watch, , t this in your mind. >> jimmy: we're both turning around and saying hi to each other? like this? [ dumroll ] john stamos! "grandfathered" returns fox.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are two of the most talented young musicians around who have teamed up for a new single here. performing "i know what you did last summer," with a little help from the roots, give it up for shawn mendes and camila cabello. [ cheers and applause ] [ thunder ] ahh hey
ahh hey ahh ahh he knows dirty secrets that i keep does he know it's killing me he knows he knows does he know another's hand have touched my skin i won't tell him where i've been he knows he knows he knows it's tearing me apart she's slipping away am i just hanging on to all the words she used to say the pictures on her phone she's not coming home coming home coming home i know what you did last summer ah-ah just lie to me there's no other hey i know what you did last summer tell me where you've been i know what you did last summer ah-ah look me in the eyes my lover hey i know what you did last summer tell me where you've been i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know
i know i know i know i didn't mean it no i didn't mean it mean it no i can't seem to let you go can't seem to hold you close i know when she looks me in the eyes they don't seem as bright no more no more i know then she loved me at one time would i promise her that night cross my heart and hope to die it's tearing me apart it's tearing me apart and she's slipping away i'm slipping away am i just hanging on to all the words she used to say the pictures on her phone the pictures on my phone and she's not coming home i'm not coming home oh na na na yeah i know what you did last summer ah-ah just lie to me there's no other hey i know what you did last summer tell me where you've been i know what you did last summer ah-ah look me in the eyes my lover hey
last summer tell me where you've been i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i can't seem to let you go can't seem to keep you close hold me close i can't seem to let you go i can't seem to keep you close you knonoi didn't mean it though tell me where you've been lately tell me where you've been lately just hold me close tell me where you've been lately tell me where you've been lately don't let me go i can't seem to keep you close i can't seem to let you go i didn't mean it though i know you didn't mean it though i know you didn't mean it though i don't wanna let yoyogo tell me you didn't mean it though no no no tell me you didn't mean it though can't seem to let you go seem to let you go i know you didn't mean it though i know you didn't mean it though i know you didn't mean it though just hold me close i know you didn't mean it though i can't seem to let you go
i know what you did last summer ah-ah just lie to me there's no other hey i know what you did last summer tell me where you've been i know what you did last summer ah-ah look me in the eyes my lover hey i know what you did last summer tell me where you've been i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! hey! fantastic. oh, my gosh.h. shawn mendes, camila cabello! catch shawn performing on the people's choice awards this wednesday night. we'll be right back, everybody.