tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC January 14, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CST
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- hillary clinton, lucy liu, musical guest flo rida, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: show 400, whoo! >> steve: and now, here he is,
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello! thank you! hot crowd. oh! hello, everyone. welcome. wow. yeah. woo! hot crowd, tonight! hot crowd! welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you guys made it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show to watch. thank you for being here. i love it. thank you, guys. guys, we have former secretary of state and democratic front-runner hillary clinton on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. backstage she told me she's a a huge fan of the show and i was like, "i know, i read it in your e-mails." [ laughter and applause ] she's very nice.
with her about the election, and things seem to be changing all the time. in fact, a new national poll found that jeb bush has actually passed marco rubio for third place among republicans. which means rubio now has the same feeling as when you're running a marathon and get passed by the guy dressed as the statue of liberty and you go, "come on, even that guy, too? he's a novelty runner." >> steve: c'mon. >> jimmy: jeb has actually been making fun of marco rubio for wearing a pair of boots with high heels on the campaign trail. i think the heels help rubio a a lot. i mean, just take -- take a a look at the latest campaign ad he did without his boots on. look. >> our allies don't trust us. [ laughter ] our enemies don't fear us. the world doesn't know where america stands. >> jimmy: give him a break. he's got a nice message. listen to what he's saying. come on. doesn't matter. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: get this, i read that there are actually four stars in the universe named after donald trump. [ light laughter ] you believe that? a burning ball of hot air has
>> steve: wow. [ applause ] >> jimmy: isn't that amazing? this is pretty funny, here. there's some old footage going around i just saw of bernie sanders giving a speech on the floor of congress in 1991. and it really shows you how far he's come. take a look at bernie sanders. >> clearly, the united states and its allies will win this war, but the death and destruction caused will not, in my opinion -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: no one -- you know even the cleaning lady opened the door and was like, "nope, wrong door. i'm sorry. i apologize. i'll come back. [ applause ] i don't want to be in there." seems like a drag in there, yeah. some other big news today. the oscar nominations came out this morning. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: see that? yeah. [ cheers ] a lot of people are upset, because for a second year in the row, all the acting nominees for the academy awards are white people. or as this year's host chris rock put it, "oh, this is going to be fun. this is going to be fun." [ applause ]
not one black actor. not one black actor. [ laughter ] not one! [ laughter ] couldn't get to the black storm trooper. [ laughter ] couldn't get nothing. [ laughter ] [ applause ] r2d2 maybe? actually, one of the actors nominated was leonardo dicaprio for his movie "the revenant," which tells the true story of a a 19th century man in south dakota wilderness who survived a bear attack. apparently, dicaprio prepared for the role by wrapping up a a victoria's secret model in a a bear rug and having a tickle fight with her. [ laughter and applause ] just him, yeah. >> steve: secret. >> jimmy: yeah. big announcement out of russia yesterday. vladimir putin said that russia has invented the world's most
yeah. when asked if he tested it on rats, putin said, "you could call them that. [ laughter and applause ] sure, yeah, yeah. they're rats." uh, guys, this is pretty cute here. apparently the world's oldest living land animal, a a 183-year-old tortoise named jonathan was recently put on a a new diet of fruits and veggies, and it's already helped him become more active. yeah. even had enough energy to spell out his first message. look at that. [ laughter ] kilm? kilm? >> steve: kilm. >> jimmy: kilme. >> steve: kilme. >> jimmy: finally, this is just crazy. i saw that a self-driving car in southern california got stuck going in circles without anyone behind the wheel. police had to use spike strips to get it to stop, which is the first time in history that cops put a stop to making doughnuts. it's very intersting. [ laughter and applause ] we have great show, everybody. give it up for the roots!
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great crowd tonight. fun show. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, the very funny ray romano will be here. tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] human being. plus lucy hale will be here, brandi carlisle will be here. and thank you notes. that's all tomorrow night. but first, she's the leading democratic candidate in the 2016 presidential race. former secretary of state hillary clinton is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. plus, from "kung fu panda 3," the beautiful lucy liu is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] we love lucy liu. and performing his new hit single "my house," we have music. the whole album's great. flo rida is on the show tonight!
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's great. this is a fun show tonight. guys, we did a cool thing or fun thing the other day. we set up a camera downstairs here at 30 rock and we asked parents if they wanted to bring in their kids to get a picture taken for a new nbc website called "nbc online preschool playroom." total lie. [ light laughter ] what they didn't know is that me and a bunch of characters from "sesame street" were going to sneak up behind them and photo bomb all their photos. it was super fun. check this out. >> oh, boy! oh, boy! >> hey, guys. guys, guys, guys. >> yes. >> jimmy: we're doing a photo bomb. you know what a photo bomb is, right? >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. a photo bomb is when someone takes a picture -- >> uh-huh. >> mm-hmm. >> -- then we go up in the background and surprise them. >> uh-huh. >> and then they don't know >> uh-huh. phone. >> oh, boy!
>> jimmy: you guys understand what we're doing? >> uh-uh. >> jimmy: okay, let's go. let's go. >> oh yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, yeah, yeah. >> all right. ready, and three, two, one. [ laughter and applause ] [ shutter click ] three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ laughter and applause ] three, two, one. [ laughter and applause ] three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ laughter and applause ] that's great. [ shutter click ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's do this. it's called the double hoagie. >> oh, the double hoagie! that's a good one. >> three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys? >> yes, jimmy? >> jimmy: we just did the double hoagie. >> that is two people on a a hoagie. let's do the the quintuple hoagie. [ inaudible ] >> five people on a hoagie! pandemonium! >> jimmy: here we go. and three, two, one. [ shutter click ]
three, two, one. [ shutter click ] okay, let's do double hoagie. >> no, no, no, no. double cookie. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ applause ] >> nom, nom, nom. nom, nom, nom. >> jimmy: cookie monster. >> cookies. >> ha-ha-ha. hello, there. >> hello. >> hi, good to see you. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: look, right there. right there, look. [ laughter ] >> three, two, one. [ shutter click ]
>> check please. [ shutter click ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the cutest thing ever. our thanks to our pals at "sesame street" and all the parents and kids that showed up. season 46 of "sesame street" premieres this saturday, january 16th, on hbo. stick around, we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: the legendary roots crew has been brought to you by the children's television workshop. and the don't you won't.
marco rubio. he ran for senate saying he opposed amnesty... then he flipped, and worked with liberal chuck schumer to co-author the path to citizenship bill. he threatened to vote against it. and then voted for it. he supported his own dream act and then he abandoned it. marco rubio. just another washington politician you can't trust. jeb bush. he's a leader, so you always know where he stands. right to rise usa
>> jimmy: isn't that nice? he's inviting everyone to his house after the show. isn't that cool? we're all going to flo rida's house. but you just gotta get yourself to florida. [ cheers and applause ] impossible. he can do it. >> steve: you have to fly yourself? >> jimmy: yeah, you have to fly yourself to florida, big deal. guys, it's time for "hashtags." here we go. let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] hashtags hashtags >> jimmy: all right. you guys -- are you guys on twitter? anyone out there use twitter? [ cheers and applause ] we use twitter on our show every single week. so if you watch our show and you want to play along we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since the big powerball drawing was last night i went on twitter and started a a hashtag called #ifiwonpowerball. yeah, i asked you guys to tweet out something funny or weird that you would do with the money if you won powerball. what is it, $1.6 billion? >> steve: something like that. >> jimmy: billion dollars. >> steve: billion. >> jimmy: yeah. we got thousands of tweets.
number one trending topic worldwide. [ cheers and applause ] worldwide. so thank you for those tweets. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite "if i won powerball" tweets from you guys. this is good. this first one's from @cmack823. he says, "i would pay donald trump to shave his head just to see how it grows back." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] kind of interesting. i'd do that. >> steve: how does it flow? yeah, where did it go? >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know. i don't know what to tell you. a lot of cow licks i think. [ laughter ] this is from @premiumcoco. >> steve: premium? regular coco was that from? >> jimmy: no, this is premium coco. [ laughter ] he says, "i'd hire a butler specifically to press the 'continue watching' option when i'm on a major netflix marathon." [ cheers and applause ] that's living the life. that's living the life. >> steve: yes, sir. >> jimmy: this one's from @logiehenderswag. [ light laughter ] >> steve: logie henderswag. >> jimmy: wasn't that our buddy? logie? >> steve: oh my god, it is. logie henderswag. she says, "i would buy all the seats to an adele concert so
and go, hello, it's me." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: logie. >> jimmy: ah. this one's from @amp88fan09. he said, "i'd buy a lamborghini with pennies then change my mind after they count it." [ laughter ] >> steve: that's cruel. >> jimmy: that's cruel. >> steve: i just want the engine. lodgie would never do that. no. sweet. she gives and gives and gives. >> steve: and then you know what she does? >> jimmy: she gives more. [ laughter ] this one's from @ughitsdanielle. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] she's the opposite of lodgie. >> jimmy: ugh, you hear this. yeah, but i -- i'm like, i'm the opposite. i'm like, "oh, it's danielle!" >> steve: she has low self-esteem, danielle. >> jimmy: she got it back. she got it back together, man. ughitsdanielle. she says, "i'd hire a drummer to follow me everywhere and a dum tss whenever i make a joke."
not bad. >> steve: we got one. >> jimmy: yeah. pretty funny. i mean, well it's good if, you know, if she had that people would be like, "oh, cool, it's danielle!" [ laughter ] [ drum ] [ applause ] >> steve: maybe not. maybe not. oh boy. gold american. >> jimmy: this one's from @teenprochafsca. he says, "i'd buy hella drones and stray kittens, strap the kittens to the drones. random kitten drone delivery. all getting kittens." [ cheers and applause ] no, no one's getting kittens. this guy's crazy. this one is from @eburington. >> steve: e. burington. >> jimmy: he's a butler, apparently. >> steve: e. burington, sir. >> jimmy: yes. >> steve: you rang? >> jimmy: e. burington. he says, "i would buy out forever 21 and rename the ontari company, face it, you're 30."
truth hurts. truth hurts. last one is from @jessica. she says, "i'd hire oprah to follow me around and yell what i'm doing. 'she's cooking spaghetti!'"cinando there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hash tags. to check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around. we'll be right back with hillary clinton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] this is iphone 6s. not much has changed. except now you can say... hey siri... hey siri... hey siri... which changes how you get in touch. how you get answers... penelope cruz: who was the prime minister of britain in 1868? the answer is benjamin disraeli. oh, you knew that. find me a very expensive... coffee shop with outdoor seating... and dancing. you can do almostanything, just with your voice. play the number one song from 1979.
points, points, our points. there has got to be a way to redeem our hotel points. i just want to take a vacation. this seems crazy. oh really? tell us something we don't know, captain obvious. ok. with hotels.com, when you collect 10 nights you get one free. oh. so you only need to know how to count to 10 to earn a free night at places like that nudist resort. yeah i don't know how that got there. because you stayed there, took a selfie and hung it prominently on the wall. hm? hotels.com. they won't judge your life choices. she's always stood strong... ...to get the job done. hillary clinton. she stood up to china... ...and spoke out on women's rights... ...went toe to toe with russia on human rights. the drug and insurance companies spent millions against her... ...but hillary didn't quit until eight million children got health care. i've never been called a quitter and i won't quit on you. she's got what it takes to do the toughest job in the world.
hillary clinton! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming back to see us. >> i am so happy to be here. what have you been doing? >> jimmy: well, i've been hosting "the tonight show." >> that's a good thing. >> jimmy: i'm not running for president. >> you got steady work. >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. [ laughter ] last time you were here was the second republican debate, and tonight is the ninth, and you're here again. >> is that a coincidence, you think? >> jimmy: i think you're dodging watching these debates. >> i am actually. >> jimmy: you'll do anything to not watch the republican debates. >> yeah. i think you nailed that. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] do you -- you have to watch the debates, right? >> well, usually i'm not home when the debates are going on. i have other things that i'm out doing, so i do try to catch up on them. >> jimmy: what's it like? >> and i'd love to be able to
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's always nice. that's always fun. what is it -- is it hillary clinton with a bowl of popcorn and just sitting back with a glass of wine watching them going, "uh, this is -- no. oh, that's wrong." [ laughter ] do you watch with bill? does bill watch as well? >> sometimes, yeah. >> jimmy: does he get into it? does he, like, pause it and stand up, like a football coach and go "that's not how you do it." [ laughter ] "that's who's making the mistake. he should have went --" >> were you over -- like, were you in the kitchen when we were watching it? >> jimmy: does he do it? >> you know, he does have a we both do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> "can you believe when he just said?" >> jimmy: yeah, yeah yeah. >> "what does that mean?" "i have no idea." we have an ongoing dialogue about it. >> jimmy: because you have to know -- and gosh, i hope it doesn't happen, but they might say something bad about you. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: do you believe that? >> yeah, that's happened more than a few times. >> jimmy: yeah, you should have a drinking game, every time they say your name, you do a a shot. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> well -- >> jimmy: it's fun.
make it past the first half hour. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but your next debate, the democratic debate, is january -- this sunday. >> sunday night. >> jimmy: january 17th on nbc. >> yep, it is. >> jimmy: my man lester holt is the moderator. >> he is. we're excited. >> jimmy: you're heading into iowa here. are you prepping differently for this one? >> well, this one is in charleston, south carolina. >> jimmy: yep. >> and we are, you know, really excited about being down there, bringing a debate there. so, it's the same kind of prepping, but there's a lot that's happened since our last debate, and obviously the republicans have said a lot more things. and so, you got to get sort of up to date and prepared. >> jimmy: yeah, it's just you and bernie this time. >> no, governor o'malley is there, too. >> jimmy: oh, he is there too? >> the three of us are there. >> jimmy: okay, good. so, it's going to be a full-on debate. we had donald trump on the other night. i don't know if you saw it. >> i didn't. [ laughter and applause ] i tell you what, he's a lot more obsessed with me than i am
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you think so? [ cheers and applause ] you think so? yeah. we were talking to him. i asked him, "how is hillary? how do you think hillary's doing?" he goes, "not good." [ laughter ] and he said, "i haven't even started on hillary yet." >> oh. >> jimmy: and i was just wondering, does he intimidate you, donald trump? >> no. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: that's -- that's what i -- >> no. >> jimmy: you just gave me the look. you just gave me the look. >> yeah, no. >> jimmy: that just intimidated yeah. >> i mean, if i'm so fortunate to be the democratic nominee, obviously, i'll run against whoever they nominate, but if it's donald trump, it will be quite the -- quite the showdown. >> jimmy: can i ask, this is a a personal question, but -- >> oh, no, really? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm really gonna, no, nothing. that's me, yeah. [ laughter ] i'm wondering about sleep.
get enough sleep, sometimes you just get loopy and don't know what you say, and then everyone picks up you just said something bad -- >> this is serious. you're serious because, yeah, i mean, lack of sleep, being fatigued, is a big problem and any kind of stressful situation, whether it's hosting "the tonight show," running for president, whatever it might be, yeah. >> jimmy: but secretary of state, did you learn to, like, sleep on command? >> i did. >> jimmy: can you sleep anywhere? >> yeah, but i was so tired all the time. i was perpetually in a sleep deficit, so it was kind of easy for me. i would just go, "oh my gosh, i've got ten minutes. bang." because what used to happen -- you know, jet lag is really serious when you're flying through time zones around the world. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so i would have to get off, and i'd have to go be ready to go to a public event, to meet with, you know, the president, prime minister, leader of the country. and i'd be standing up there and i'd be digging my fingernails into my palms to keep myself awake. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because, you know, i could -- i'd be standing on the stage, or wherever i was, everybody i traveled with would
out. [ laughter ] and i'm looking at them. they're all asleep. i'm having to answer questions on behalf of our country. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like being on a a diet and somebody is eating a a slice of pizza right now. >> it's so hard. >> jimmy: they're going, "how's that diet going?" >> exactly. >> jimmy: "get away from me!" yeah. >> i can't believe it. that's one trick if you're tired. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that helps a little bit. but, you know, seriously, you need to get into a routine, which is hard. you got two little babies. that's hard, and you want to spend time with them and you have so much else you have to do. but as much as you can -- >> jimmy: babies don't care that you're jimmy fallon, and you have to wake up. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: they're just like, "i'm up. change me, feed me." >> that's what they're supposed to do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i saw the opening segment with you and the photo bombing with "sesame street." and honestly, there's something about the "sesame street" characters that just grips little kids' hearts. >> jimmy: yeah. >> my granddaughter, among her very first sounds was "elmo. elmo."
>> elmo. >> jimmy: did you see how they melted with that? >> oh, my gosh. you know, for christmas one of the things that i got her was this elmo peek-a-boo doll where you turn it on and it talks. and it talks in little elmo's voice. and then it lifts up the little cloth and hides itself. "peek-a-boo." she was so carried away. >> jimmy: oh yeah, no, toys are the next generation thing, you can type in their names, and elmo will say, "hi, winnie. hillary." it's the craziest thing. technology has taken it to the next level. >> i know. >> jimmy: i know you're very involved with social media, technology, and tweeting. you tweeted the state of the union. will you tweet the republican debate tonight? >> well, i won't be watching it, so. >> jimmy: you won't. >> but my campaign will be, i'm sure, responding. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. but you're on, like, instagram and all this stuff. >> yeah, snapchat, twitter. >> jimmy: can we do a snap? can we do a snapchat? [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. yeah. let's do it. >> jimmy: i can do a snapchat. >> you're pretty adept, yourself, right?
to do here. i'll just come in the background. >> here we are. where are we gonna be taking -- >> jimmy: i think you just -- >> your arms are longer than mine. >> jimmy: i know, but i like that you're doing it. [ laughter ] i think it's cool. are you ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: snap, snap, snap, snap. we're snapping. we're snapping. snapping. there you go, okay. [ laughter ] all right, now -- here you go. that's it right there. all right. all right. [ laughter ] all right, so that's -- i'm going to send this out. >> yeah, send that out. okay, good. >> jimmy: all right, is that cool? >> yeah, yeah, that's great. >> jimmy: now, i'm going to -- now i'm going to go to -- yeah, okay, the story. and now i'm going to go to this. and this is something i do. i don't know if you've done this one. you hold this in, right? >> yeah. here we go. >> jimmy: if you recognize the cologne, it's the axe effect. [ laughter and applause ] >> oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. you can't stand it. i know. i know. watch this. you put this thing on.
look at that! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now watch. >> you got to show them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. there, i'm good. now i'm just going to send that out anyway, even though it's your snapchat, i'm sending it. [ laughter ] too late now. it's there. >> oh, it's gone. it's gone. >> jimmy: it's history now. it's gone. more with hillary clinton after the break, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] no more snapping. you can have your phone back. woah! father, why can't we have directv like the macgregors do? we're settlers, son. we settle for things. like having cable instead of directv. hey, jebediah, how's it going? working the land. hoping for a fertile spring. all right. so we have to live with lower customer satisfaction? i'm afraid so. now go churn us some butter, boy, and then make your own clothes. yes, sir. (vo) don't be a settler. get rid of cable and upgrade to directv.
adventures from $599, plus up to $300 to spend at sea. come seek the royal caribbean. offer ends february 15th. i filed my taxes online at h&r block for $9.99. what? i filed my taxes online at h&r block for $9.99. oh, that's super reasonable. what? that's super reasonable. yeah... will you marry me? what? nothing. file state online for $9.99.
can be hard. we'll show you some apps that can help you stay on track with your fitness goals. and members of a karate club in eastern iowa are training to become jedi's. we'll meet the one's wielding the force. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can't beat them. they're the best. welcome back to "the tonight show," everybody. we're here with former senator from the great state of new york, hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] you can see her in the upcoming democratic candidates' debate moderated by lester holt this sunday at 9:00 p.m. here on nbc. thanks again for doing this. i want to talk about the debate here because it's a big deal. they just came out today with the -- the new york times, or someone came out and said national numbers -- that bernie and you are kind of close.
>> jimmy: you have, like, a a giant -- you had a 20-point lead at one point. >> well, yeah, but you know, that's really artificial. all of those early soundings and polls -- once you get into it, this is a democratic election for our nominee. and it gets really close, exciting. and it really depends upon, you know, who makes the best case that you can be the nominee to beat whoever the republicans put up and try to get your folks who support you to come out. i find it exciting. i mean, this is not a job they give away. you really do have to work hard for it. >> jimmy: yeah. the world. so i get up every day and go right at it. >> jimmy: and every -- i feel like different people endorsing each other. bernie sanders just
got endorsed by ben & jerry's. >> yeah, that's good. >> that's a delicious endorsement. >> jimmy: that's a big deal. is it a big deal to get endorsed by a certain thing? >> well, i got endorsed by planned parenthood action fund on sunday. that was a big deal. [ cheers and applause ] because i believe so strongly
these efforts to undermine and demonize the work that planned parenthood does. and they know that i'll fight for them, and that's exactly what i intend to do. >> jimmy: and they will -- they
change your numbers. when somebody endorses you, people go, "oh." >> yeah, especially -- if people -- there are a lot of different issues. i got endorsed by the brady campaign because of my stance on trying to get common sense gun safety measures. because i believe strongly -- what the president announced last week is exactly the right approach. so if people are really focused on a particular issue and they, for example, care deeply about protecting women's access to all of their health care, including reproductive health, that is a very meaningful endorsement. if they care, as so many people do today about the fact we lose 90 people every single day to gun violence, that's a a significant endorsement. so i'm just honored to have the support of people whose causes
and obviously that gives me even more incentive to go out and do my best. >> jimmy: yeah, interesting. [ applause ] you said something earlier, they don't just give this job away. you really got to work for this job. >> you really have to work. >> jimmy: and so i'm just wondering, this is the biggest job in the world. it's almost like you're applying for this job. >> right. >> jimmy: and we're hiring you. >> it's like a job interview. >> jimmy: it really is. >> it goes on for months, but it is a job interview. >> jimmy: well, i was wondering if you'd like to do a job interview now. [ laughter ] >> sure. >> jimmy: like you're applying for a job. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, absolutely, absolutely. >> jimmy: the biggest job in the world. >> let's -- yeah, let's do it. >> jimmy: president of the united states. >> okay, all right. good, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: hi, hillary, thank you for coming down. >> my pleasure. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: how'd you hear about the position? [ laughter ] >> fourth grade social studies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? >> well, i think that i have
qualifications to tackle the range of challenges this job presents in the economy, national security, foreign policy, health care, education. i've done a lot of work, and i have references. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why do you want this job? >> because i really care about what happens to our country. it means a lot to me to make sure that we keep producing good opportunities for people, help everybody have a chance to live up to their god-given potential. and there's more we can do. and i want to try to make that happen for everybody. >> jimmy: what are your strengths? >> well, i'm tenacious. i'm determined -- [ laughter ] >> i've gotten results. i can in a pinch. >> jimmy: okay. are you a one-finger typer or two-handed? >> you know, on a real keyboard, i can actually type with more than one finger, but on an iphone --
me. >> it's hard. i got to tell you. i'm still struggling. and you know what i really get annoyed by is their spell check takes the word i'm trying to type and totally throws it out and puts something else in that has absolutely no meaning whatsoever. i have to start all over again. >> jimmy: let's not veer off the questions, here, hillary. [ laughter ] let's stick to -- again, we're interviewing you for this job. good for you, standup comedian maybe, but not for this job. >> well, you got to have a a little bit of that. don't you think, mr. fallon? >> jimmy: boy, you're chatty, hillary. [ laughter ] you are chatty. you're a chatty cathy. are you willing to relocate? [ laughter ] >> for the right job, i am. >> jimmy: all right. perfect. describe yourself in two words. >> um -- uh -- strong, focused. >> jimmy: lastly, is there an
discover card hey! so i'm looking at my bill and my fico credit score's on here. yeah! we give you your fico credit score. for free! awesomesauce! the only person i know that says that is... lisa? julie? we've already given more than 175 million free fico credit scores to our cardmembers. apply today at discover.com all the hard work... time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree.
james drove his rav4 hybrid, unaware death was lurking. what? he was challenged by a team of lumberjacks. let's do this. he would drive them to hard knocks canyon, where he would risk broken legs, losing limbs, and slipping and dying. not helping. but death would have to wait. james left with newfound knowledge, a man's gratitude, and his shirt. how far will you take the all-new rav4 hybrid?
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy nominated actress who stars in the cbs show "elementary", and starting january 29th you can hear her as viper in the animated movie "kung fu panda 3," in theaters nationwide. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our pal, lucy liu! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. you look gorgeous as always. welcome back to the show. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: how's the little baby? you have a -- lucy has a tiny, beautiful little baby named rockwell.
>> jimmy: who i was lucky ago. >> jimmy: yeah. that was my daughter's first >> that was fun. >> jimmy: what a rager that was. >> it was fun. crazy. >> jimmy: crazy. >> it was like -- >> jimmy: we went from, like four -- >> drunk people, but they were small. >> jimmy: 3:00 to 4:00 o'clock. >> falling down the stairs. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> running around. it was crazy. >> jimmy: but, he was a cute little thing. he was strapped to you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and he was just, like, sleeping the whole time except when i went to say hi to him. >> his eyes popped open. it was so cute. >> jimmy: he just looked at me. the most beautiful little baby. what is he up to? >> he's five months old today. [ laughter ] hey, that's fantastic. >> he's hanging out. >> jimmy: yeah, what is he up to? what's the new thing that your son likes? >> actually nancy, your wife, gave me some information. >> ji the way? by th nancy, nancy. i knew it w >> you know, becau had that little se >> jimmy: yeah. it was the best >> that's what i go >> jimmy: oh, you did.
and we just -- room. >> right there at the table, so he's going to start eating, like he can start eating at five months. so -- >> jimmy: this is a >> yeah. >> jimmy: what are you going to start feeding him? >> well, i'm not going to do that whole like, here comes the plane. i'm just going to do the thing where you give them -- >> jimmy: well you know you can't do it half ass like that. you go -- [ laughter ] here comes the plane. >> the plane. >> jimmy: here comes i got to go for it, yea >> no, i'm not goi i thing, it's call leg meaning, and you p of food out for them, just sort of smash it around they throw it. it's like on y their face, it's in their hair. it's on the floor. it's on, like, the artwork. >> jimmy: goo that's really a -- [ laughter ] >> it's a good way to diet. for five months old. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. hand over the jackson pollack -- >> and then, like, eventually -- the dog would be, like, this big. >> jimmy: fattest dog ever. yeah. >> this dog is huge. >> jimmy: babies -- >> but they kind like -- >> jimmy: the baby can eat now. it's like the dog is eating all this crap. >> they build a relationship with food, and they ev get some stuff in. they have the bottle then they wean themsel because they get more food. >> jimmy: how are you doing all this with the show and the movies and -- because it's just -- you don't sleep at all.
it's no -- there's no sleep. >> jimmy: last time i on the street before that, you were like -- dude i've just been shooting for four days straight. >> i don't know what's goin >> had been helpful. i think that it giv of a schedule. cau you're there for 14 or 16 hours. y you get up, you go to the gym, you know energy. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> but with the baby, he wakes up now. and then nancy will sew and drew also helped me put the baby on a complete sleep schedule. so he goes to bed at, like, 8:00 and he wakes up at 7:00. crazy. >> jimmy: yeah. me too. >> he gets more sleep than anyone. >> jimmy: i'm on t i'm on the same schedule as t bab >> right? >> jimmy: oh, that's so >> so good. >> jimmy: that's great. so you have -- what you up to now? four? >> yeah, we're in the middle of four now. >> jimmy: and it's and you're going to direct an episode? >> i'm directing another episode, yeah. in march. >> jimmy: why are you adding more work to yo >> i don't know. i don't dir busier. it's like -- i don't know. it's fun because you know how it is when you g it's busy. >> jimmy: >> that's kind of -- all the juices ar flowing. yeah. >> jimmy: it all starts working, yeah. absolutely.
you have "kung fu panda 3." >> yeah, which i can't -- i mean rockwell i but i thin it will be really fun for him to actually see some of movies. >> jimmy: yeah. does that change the way? now you're doing the movie, cool. like, my kids gonna be watching cartoons." >> no, i look at my niece and nephew are watching "tinker bell." which i did the voice for silvermist, and they don't know that i'm the v >> they are so in that, too. so it's sort of this i think when you do animated stuff, you know, like kids everywhere can, i don't know, be a part of it. you know? and also do it in different languages. >> jimmy: you go to the premieres, and stuff like that? kids go to the premieres, right? >> in fact, i got a bunch of the premiere happening?" it's only in l.a. >> jimmy kids. >> just so disappointed >> jimmy: ye a lot of kids down he >> i know. called every cast member like, no! you in new york. >> jimmy: no, no, no. it's just -- it's crazy. we were showing earlier with the "sesame street" and elmo. >> oh my god. we were, like, tearing up in the back. >> jimmy: it's cute. >> it's so good. that's my favorite thing. >> jimmy: that's the thing with an animated movie. "kung fu panda." because adults can laugh at this. there's some good jokes in there. >> no, but the cookie monster,
>> jimmy: isn >> no, it's so grea it. >> i can't even believe it. >> jimmy: if rockwell is sleep training -- if you're awake right now listening to mommy, here's mommy in a cartoon. this is late, so now he definitely won't be able to sleep. >> what is that? >> jimmy: here's lucy liu in "kung fu panda 3." check this out. >> we await your instruction, master. >> all you have to lose is our respect. >> seriously, how bad can it be? there there! there there, now! >> okay. okay. let's switch it up. removable mountain stamps. >> yes, master. >> tigress, tornado back flip! >> yes, master. >> my fault. crane go high. i mean low. oh. >> oh my quasi. >> you two do a swarming insect fight with a yellow tail, yellow jacket spicy. >> tuna. >> good job, po. >> jimmy: come on. it's for everybody. [ cheers and applause ] come on. now you can go to sleep now, rockwell.
cordes: most nurses are tough. they're problem-solvers. they like making things better. people don't have access to healthcare because they just can't afford it. bernie sanders understands how pharmaceutical companies and major medical companies are ripping us off. bernie tells the truth, and he's been consistent. he understands that the system is rigged,
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our musical guest tonight has sold an impressive 100 million singles worldwide and currently has the number one song on the itunes hip-hop chart. performing "my house", with a a little help from the roots, give it up for flo rida! [ cheers and applause ] open up the champagne pop hey it's my house come on turn it up hear a knock on the door and the night begins cause we done this before so you come on in
tell me where you been pour yourself something cold baby, cheers to this >> check it out. sometimes you gotta stay in and you know where i live yeah you know what we is sometimes you gotta stay in in welcome to my house baby take control now we can even slow down we don't have to go out welcome to my house play that music too loud show me what you do now we don't have to go out >> and everybody say! what? come on, hey! welcome to my house >> you heard me. yeah. welcome to my house morning comes and you know that you wanna stay close the blinds let's pretend that the time has changed
open up champagne let's continue tonight come on celebrate sometimes you gotta stay in and you know where i live yeah you know what we is sometimes you gotta stay in in welcome to my house baby take control now we can even slow down we don't have to go out welcome to my house play that music too loud show me what you do now we don't have to go out >> and everybody say. what, hey, come on. welcome to my house welcome to my house welcome to my duck the pad but my house is your house if you throwin it back excuse me if my home bringing the sad soon as these happy faces land you can run
homerun slam dunk touchdown pass mi casa es tu casa so it ain't no holding back another shot of vodka you know what's in my glass it's my house just relax welcome to my house baby take control now we can even slow down we don't have to go out welcome to my house play that music too loud show me what you do now we don't have to go out welcome to my house welcome to my house welcome to my house it's my house [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ho-hoo! yes! mi casa, mi casa es su casa.
"my house" is on itunes now. my thanks to hillary clinton, lucy liu, our friends from "sesame street," flo rida once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching, have a a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight --