tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC November 24, 2016 10:34pm-11:33pm MST
and the broncos are in playoff contension. give thanks too, that one of mr. b's final decisions before he surrendered day-to-day operations was to hire john elway as general manager. the broncos have played 100 games since elway took charge. they have won 71 kubiak is 22-7. don't moan, but give thanks that the broncos play another prime time game this sunday night against the chiefs. it's the 16th prime time home game since 2011, the most in the nfl. the broncos are 14-2, by the way in hose big games under the lights. finally, i give thanks to you, the broncos fans. you have sold out 384 home
i'm a broncos insider. your fanatic passion for the local football team has given me a job. mike cliss, 9news. it's as much a part of thanksgiving traditions as turkey is. nfl football. three games played today. all six teams above .500. or at .500. that's what the steelers and the colts were. i just say were, over that mark, without andrew luck, indy no match for pittsburgh. pittsburgh rolled 28-7. the cowboys hosting the redskins, looking to improve their nfl's best record. dallas has only been beaten once. ezekiel elliott ran for 2 touchdowns. dallas kept on rolling, 31-26. the lions have been playing
1934. the former broncos kicker, matt prater playing with the game time, and game winning field goal in the last two minutes of the 4th quarter, including that walkoff. the lies beat the vikings, 16- 13. finally, speaking of those kickers. we had brandon mcmanus on the broncos huddle last night, so emmanuel sanders decided to show off and try an extra point himself. >> i want to try it. >> do not hurt yourself. >> i guess i've got to do it how a kicker does it. count your steps? >> this is an old fashioned st figure out the wind. even though we're indoors. i got it. >> yeah! [cheering]
it's your turn now. >> oh. just fyi, behind the scenes, the audience has no confidence in me making this. but i'm going to sue. here we go. i'm doing rich carless, i'm going barefoot. >> i hope you guys have insurance. >> i'm going to use that as my tee. >> oh, man. >> rich carless, ready? >> look at my foot go. 3, 2, 1. >> let's go. >> oh! >> a little to the right. >> rod mackey's sock, it's famous now. >> why did you take off your shoe? >> i think it broke my foot. the kicker footballs are just like rock hard. i wanted to keep the sock off,
slip. >> at what point in your head did you think, if i take off my shoe -- >> i was waiting for a charlie brown moment. >> the thing is, i had made those kicks before, and emmanuel didn't make anything and the lights came on, of course, and he actually made it. this guy hooked it left, and now i have a broken foot. >> is that what the boot is? >> i just feel like my question's not getting answered. >> there'sre >> we're going to keep discussing this, and we'll be
>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. welcome to "the tonight show," everyone. this is it. you made it. happy -- [ cheers and applause ] i want to wish everyone here a a happy, happy thanksgiving. hey! [ cheers and applause ] ? i get to spend it with you. spend it with you, perfect,
oh, man, this is just exciting here. earlier today we had the macy's thanksgiving day parade. that's right. thousands of parents woke up extra early to bring their kids to the city, snag a spot in the front row only to hear, "dad, i have to go to the bathroom." you go, "yeah, i know. i knew you were going to say that." [ cheers and applause ] "i knew you were gonna say it. go in your pants." [ laughter ] i saw that -- i saw that some of the parade route was two and a half miles long and took about 90 minutes. yeah, while the float from kenya finished in just 60 minutes. but that's the fourth year in a a every year. >> steve: it's not fair! >> jimmy: i don't know how -- i don't know how it happens. check this out. i read that this year's macy's parade features 1,000 clowns. it got weird when macy's said, "we only hired 500 clowns." [ laughter and applause ] [ clown laugh ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is interesting. [ laughter ] sorry, that's my ringtone. [ laughter ] >> steve: it is pretty funny. >> jimmy: i have a scary clown -- scary clown
it turns out the balloons for the parade came from new jersey. and, yeah. [ cheers ] and they actually went through the lincoln tunnel to get to new york city. yeah. to make sure they fit, they had chris christie go through first. >> steve: hey, hey! [ cheers and applause ] oh! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa! >> steve: oh, oh! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa! >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: whoa, hey! >> steve: hey! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: on thanksgiving. don't do it on thanksgiving. hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> steve: dvd! >> jimmy: jimmy, come on. this is for you. 's meanwhile i read that donald trump and his family spent thanksgiving at his mar-a- lago resort in palm beach, florida. marking the only thanksgiving dinner where you are actually allowed to bring up donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] you've got to be really careful. i guess trump really loves thanksgiving because it's the one day a year he can talk about legs, thighs and breasts without getting in trouble. [ cheers and applause ] so, it's perfect. >> steve: oh! hey, hey!
>> jimmy: i saw that snoop dogg just posted a 30-minute video of himself smoking weed, eating turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. [ light laughter ] yeah. asked if he was having a good thanksgiving, snoop said, "it's thanksgiving?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, that's interesting. happy thanksgiving." and, finally listen to this. a doctor in arizona said there is a 25 to 30% increase in emergency room visits on thanksgiving, but don't worry. most of the time, it just turns out grandma was just napping. [ applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] ? you name it ?
it is thanksgiving! [ cheers and applause ] and boy, we have a special show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this guy is one of the funniest human beings out there. he's the star of "kevin can wait" and the new netflix film, "true memoirs of an international assassin." kevin james is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] funny man. funny man. >> jimmy: it's going to be fun. we have fun things planned out with kevin. he's always great. you want to stick around for that. plus, we love when he stops by. from "project runway," tim gunn is dropping in. >> steve: yeah! ch >> jimmy: and we got great music. [ singing "sta" thr warse ] [ light laughter ] ? >> jimmy: the weeknd is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applae ] >> jimmy: he is so talented, this guy. he is unbelievable. i love the weeknd. it's going to be fun. he's, like, doing a cool medley, special for us tonight. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers ] >> steve: thanksgiving medley. >> jimmy: a fellow thanksgiving medley. you guys, today is thanksgiving.
so, i thought, what a better day to write my weekly thank you notes? if i could do it right now, do you guys mind? [ cheers and applause ] got note cards here. i got my envelopes there. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ? >> jimmy: wow. [ light laughter ] he's still doing the mannequin challenge. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he hasn't stopped doing the mannequin challenge. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: he's been doing it for three weeks now. [ laughter ] >> steve: he's been doing it for, like, six years. >> jimmy: six years. >> steve: yeah. au >> jimmy: six years, the longest running mannequin challenge.?/ he's the one who started it. [ laughter ] he forgot to put a tie on it. ? >> jimmy: thank you, "trolls" balloon at the macy's thanksgiving day parade for being the second biggest troll filled with hot air in neyo there you go. >> steve: hey-oh! [ cheers and applause ] ho, ho, ho, ho! hey! [ jersey accents ]
>> jimmy: "no." ? >> jimmy: thank you, pilgrims, for dressing like tim gunn handed you a bunch of belt buckles and said, "make it work." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: a hat with a buckle. >> jimmy: a hat with a buckle, man. >> steve: buckle it j??up, man. >> jyos sometimes. >> steve: you don't know. you go outside, you go, "man, i wish that this hat was smaller." "buckle it up." ? >> jimmy: thank you, cranberry sauce for making my plate of [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wh happened? >> jimmy: yeah. do you like -- i love cranberry sauce.?4 >> steve: do you really? >> steve: no.you put it on i refuse to. >> jimmy: what are you talking -- >> steve: no, i don't want to do it. >> jimmy: "no, i refuse. i have a" -- >> steve: "i make myself" -- >> jimmy: "a special sandwich" -- >> steve: "made with home-made mayonnaise." >> jimmy: "home-made mayonnaise and aioli, saffron aioli." >> steve: "aioli, and i whipped that with an immersion blender."
i do, i do -- >> steve: i know. you don't like mayonnaise. i get an al pacino? and can i get a, you know" -- because they were named after famous actors and stuff, all the sandwiches? and i go, "can i get a a jimmy fallon?" [ laughter ] and the guy was like, "what's that?" and i go, "i'll get an al pacino." "oh, i got that." i go, "robert de niro?" "yeah, now what was the other one you said?" i go, "yeah, a jimmy fallon?" he's like, "yeah, i forgot that. what is that?" "it's turkey with cranberry sae." [ laughter ] now, they tell those tales. >> steve: now they've got it. >> jimmy: yeah, at the time.
>> steve: when you first started. >> jimmy: yeah, this is back when james started the mannequin challenge. [ laughter ] still doing it. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: still doing it. they call that commitment. all the commitment, jimmy baseball, mr. commitment. ? >> jimmy: thank you, crescent rolls, for looking like a a baby's thigh. aw. [ laughter and applause ] that's cute. ? >> jimmy: thank you, macy's thanksgiving day parade for celebrating your 90th anniversary this year, which explains why this year, the parade wandered into l park and got ther [ laughter ] it'll be fine. [ applause ] it'll be fine. don't worry about it. we saw where it went. >> steve: "i know where i'm going." ? >> jimmy: thk you, t sos,espresor not being called "mug shots."
>> steve: nice. >> jimmy: it's a thinker. >> steveyou open up a chain of those. ? >> jimmy: thank you, gourds, for being a squash that's going through its awkward years. [ laughter and applause ][ laug] ? thank you, the kid being a fun place for kids a any adult who there you go, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] those are my "thank you notes." i'm so thankful for you. happy thanksgiving. we'll be right bacth k wi kevin james, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ??7?z??7
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he has a brand new action-packed comedy film called "true memoirs of an international assassin." it's now streaming on netflix, just in time for the big thanksgivingol please welcome the very funny, the always entertaining, kevin james! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: welcome back! >> that is a -- that's a heart rate checker, right there. >> jimmy: that's a heart rate checker there. thank you very much. always know how to make an entrance, my friend. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. thank you for spending part of your thanksgiving holiday with us. >> happy thanksgiving.
very thankful that you're here. >> yeah.?i?? >> jimmy: do you -- do you enjoy a big thanksgiving? do you do all the a -- >> no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't mean that. i meant, do you enjoy -- do you celebrate ?2it? what's your favorite holiday food? >> my favorite? if i had to pick one? >> jimmy: on the menu -- on the thanksgiving menu. >> oh, that's ke, sophie's choice right there. [ light laughter ] i like them all. the thing with me though -- i like, simple foods. like the classic. you know, that's the thing with me, when i do a holi -- it. you go to someone else's house. i just like the classic -- the basics. we got turkey, you got your mashed potatoes, you get your stuffing, you get cranberry sauce -- and i like the cranberry sauce, out of the can with the rings on it. i want to see that thing on the plate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: me, too. that's my favorite. >> nah, that's the worst. when you hear they're adding chutney to it or like blackberries, or something like that. that's the five worst words i can hear from anybody, is that we made our own stuffing. i don't want to hear that. [ ght laughter ] >> jimmy: really?
stove-top, they know what they're doing. let them do it. [ cheers and applause ] honestly, every day for 100 years, these people drive to a building that say stouffer's on it. they go in there, and they make stuffing all day long. and you in your little kitchen in wankankama, are going to try to bang out some stuffing that's gonna to top this? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: wankankama. >> it's literally, that's like me going -- you know what? i'm gonna go into the olympics next year. i'm gonna be the one -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so, yeah. what are you gonna to do?
much." [ audience aws ] i know, i know. and then i'm like, "i love you so much." and she's like "no, no, no.than" and i was like, "i love you re and then she literally said to me, she goes, "no." and she said this, she goes, "i love you more than ice cream." [ audience aws ] and i was like -- [ laughter ] what do you say? i'm not gonna lie, i was like, "thank you." i don't know. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's, she's taking it too far. >> jimmy: i can't do that. >> i'm like, iove you more than cottage cheese.
and i threw up on him mediately. immediately. [ laughter ] mediately, like right -- like right away. it was like bang-bang. that's how fast it happened. no, but the reason i tell you this is, my wife got mad at me for throwingp on him. like -- like i meant -- she was like, how can you? that's your own flesh and blood. why would you throw up -- she said, why would you -- why would i throw up. like i made a conscious decision, to like you know -- >> jimmy: yeah, and you can just do that too, yeah. [ retching ] >> jimmy: it's almost there. hold up. yeah. and are you anything that you're not good at as being a a dad? i mean, is there anything one day you're like, "well, i'm not the best at this." >> i'm not -- i'm not good at answering -- like my father knew -- i don't know. he knew everything. any question i ever had, i asked my dad, how do planes fly? how does, you know, the tv work? he would explain it to me. and i just, i don't have that. if i don't have like, the internet near me or something
she'll be like, you know, how do you make ice cubes? and i'm literally locked up. i'm like -- [ laughter ] i know, i mean i'm like well, what happens is the water gets -- at a certain point it gets very cold, and then it -- and she knows she kind of has me. 'cause then she'll be like, she's like, "well then what happens?" i'm like, "well, then it freezes." she's like, "but how does that happen?" and i'm like, the um, the mole -- uh -- >> jimmy: it's an ice cube. >> it's magic. i go to that a lot, i go it's magic. >> jimmy: yeah, you've got to do that. all right, i'll use that well. i'll use that. 'cause i don't know how to explain it. >> i'm horrible with it. j and congratulations, on your giant hit. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's the biggest show on tv. it's funny. it's also -- you know, going in not knowing the show, and not knowing what could happen i just loved it immediately, right off the bat. and it's like kind of like a a comfort food. >> it's a classic sitcom. i love the four-camera shoots, and i love the old shows that just made me feel like, you know, with a song in the beginning, and then just go into it. >> jimmy: and it looks like you're having fun. >> it is. >> jimmy: please, can't we just
it's with sandler, with ray romano. they were great. ah, we've had a bunch of guys. and it's just so much fun. we got -- i got billy joel coming up, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's gonna be on the show? >> yeah. i'm not supposed to say anything. but, i don't care. >> jimmy: all right, he doesn't care. oh, wow, oh my god. >> yeah, he's awesome. >> jimmy: he's the greatest. >> yo, he loves you by the way. >> jimmy: well i know, i love him, too. oh, man and then you have the -- netflix movie as well. this is called, "the true memoirs of an international assassin." >> jimmy: i love it. >> i know, i play -- >> jimmy: i love it. i'm in already. i mean, you're great. [ cheers and applause ] >> i know, yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: you know, it's -- it is not really the true memoirs of an international -- >> no, no. i play an author and a deadly assassin, which i'm not sure which ones harder to believe. it's a bit of a stretch for both. but i get mixed up -- >> jimmy: i can see -- i can see you as an author. >> i don't know. i -- i don't know. the last book i read was "clifford the big red dog." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a classic. that's it.
>> yeah, but it -- no, it was a a fun movie, 'cause it was a a stretch for me to play this stuff. and i had to literally learn all these crazy moves, and learn how to fight. and i never shot a gun before. i really never -- never really -- so they taught me, and they said to make sure your finger's always on the outside of a gun, 'cause you gotta be careful. unless you're going to shoot it, unless you're firing it. which -- >> jimmy: on the ring, on the outside? >> yes, yes. you always keep it on the outside, unless you're ready to fire it. and then you put it on the trigger. and during the whole movie, i have my hand on the outside of the gun. i'm like, not -- until i'm ready to shoot. and then when i was shooting they said, they tooke you've gotta stop doing this one thing. and i was like, "what is it?" and they go, you're going -- you're saying bang with your mouth. [ laughter ] i was literally -- i was like -- i go, "you're out of your mind." i go, "i'm not doing that. i'm not doing that." and they played it back for me. and i'm going "bang, bang, bang." [ laughter and applause ] so, yeah. >> jimmy: no, that's fun for everybody. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, yeah. well, i want to show a clip. the idea, is basically that, to sell this book someone made up
i know a lot of stuff about that, and i get mistaken for an international assassin, and then i get abducted. so it's pretty crazy. >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip. here's kevin james in "true memoirs of aninternational assassin", now streaming on netflix. take a look at this. >> look, what we have seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot here. >> no, i'm on the right foot. the foot of you and not the ghost. >> what makes you so sure? >> the ghost would never have been kidnapped so easily. >> it's a fair point. but, you know, maybe i wanted to be kidnapped. >> and maybe you're a fraud. and a liar. or maybe i kill you right now. so, what is the ghost going to do about it? >> that's a good question. [ grunting ] [ crashing ] [ cheers and applause ] >> all right.
>> come on, man. >>immy: that was awesome, man! >> no bang there. no bang there. >> jimmy: no bang there. break and flip! more fun with kevin jas when we come back, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ? ?p? i just see a crazy stuff, man. what--what is this? it's like some 3d virtual world. can i see? oh yai yai y yai yai yai.
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! happy thanksgiving. we are here with the hilarious kevin james, once again. kevin james. kevin, you play -- in your new show you play a retired cop but this is not the first time you have played a cop on tv, because back in the '80s we were actually on a show together. do you remember this? >> oh. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. you're talking about -- you're talking about "point pleasant." >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. the show was called -- [ cheers and applause ]
department." >> yes. >> jimmy: and it took place in lovely point pleasant, new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] we played two detectives. we couldn't see eye to eye so we'd get in a lot of arguments. >> right. most people, they think of us as comedic actors and players and stuff like that. but this really, it was a a stretch for us. this was intense. i mean it was -- >> jimmy: it was dramatic. two cops would get in a lot of arguments, and always seemed to end up in messy situations. we actually have a clip from the popular thanksgiving episode. >> are you kidding me? >> jimmy: yeah, would you like s [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> jimmy: happy thanksgiving, palmer. >> you, too, pete. [ laughter ] you -- you appear to be pretty peppy. [ laughter ]
sergeant parker picked me for a a promotion. >> pardon? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i repeat -- sergeant parker picked me for a a promotion. [ laughter ] [ sputtering ] [ laughter and applause ] >> remember, pete, we are all -- [ laughter ] part of the point pleasant don't put yourself on a a pedestal. [ laughter ] capiche? [ laughter and applause ] ? [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: you know, watching it back now, it's even more intense than i remembered. [ laughter ] >> it was very, very in your face. they were very in your face. >> jimmy: you have a goatee? >> i grew that in the break. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well we actually have another clip from that same episode. >> we do? that was a long one -- >> jimmy: oh, no. this is more better for my character, i think. take aoo [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: potatoes, palmer? >> pass! [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] i'm actually -- [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: i'm on the edge of my >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can -- feel, literally feel the emotion in that scene. >> yeah. you can pretty much taste it. and re-taste it, yeah. >> jimmy: you're not going to believe -- [ laughter ] you're not going to believe this. i think we have one more clip from that episode. [ cheers and applause ] >> not the dinner scene? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> was it the dinner scene? >> jimmy: it's the dinner scene. and this one, the tension just really comes to a boil and things get out of control. check it out. [ cheers and applause ]2h?m
>> well, pete. [ laughter ] it's been a pleasure. protecting the point pleasant -- [ laughter ] people with you for p-thanksgiving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's not even a p in that word. p-thanksgiving? [ laughter ] [ sputtering ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: just like the pilgrims. >> precisely. [ laughter ] how about --
[ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we were pretty good policemen. >> jimmy: my thanks to kevin james. check out his new film, "true memoirs of an international assassin," now streaming on netflix. stick around. we'll be back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] it's only getting bett. it's only getting better. w york times" best-selling author and emmy award-winning host of "pro r" which is currently in its 15th season on lifetime. ladies and gentlemen, give a a rm welcome ttim gunn! [ cheers and applause ] ?s9ce >> jimmytim -- i actually thought it was pre-ped. it wasn't. >> jimmy: oh, no, at was all -- >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: we have the best hair and makeup, wardrobe. they're the greatest. they clean everything up. i still got stains everywhere. >> i was convulsing. >> jimmy: i have whipped cream -- oh my gosh. >> convulsing. >> jimmy: thank you my friend. i've had you -- we have been friends for a long time.
>> jimmy: people are going to be hitting the gym tomorrow. i was saying to you back stage, you look -- that you're extra fit. >> thank you. >> jimmyreally great shape, bu you look extra fit. >> i have never -- [ cheers ] thank you! i have never been more fit. and i will tell you why. >> jimmy: explain this to . >> jimmy: crossfit. >> this incredible individual. dynamic, inspiring, an olympic medalist -- silver -- silver medalist. three-time olympian by the name of --
[ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: you did not wear a a pairf sweatpants. >> i do, every single workout. abso -- yeah, five days a week. >> jimmy: who makes thesj1&;e sweatpants? >> j. crew. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, not bad! >> brand you know well. >> jimmy: yves st. laurent i thought you were gng to day. but fencing, you wouldn't think, i don't know how -- it's tricky. >> it's incredibly daunting and difficult. and i fence saber and we saber people are snobs. there is epee, there's foil, and there's saber. >> jimmy: here's a picture of you -- >> oh, you have one! >> jimmy: this is threal al. and that's tim morehouse. >> jimmy: hey, that's pretty fantastic. >> but it's really -- it's so carefully choreographed and the
it's always great. do you like the finalists? this year? >> yes. very, very much. >> jimmy: this year you like them. 'cau last year you were kind of -- >> i was over last year. over it. but this year, we are back on our game. i'm crazy about our six finalists. semi-finalists, i will call them. it's a great, great, great season. >> jimmy: you did mething at -- er at universal studios. >> we did, in orlando. we loved it. what is it?
and we're both screaming, fine. except i want an ambulance at the other end. >> jimmy: no, no, it'sot like that. this is like more -- it just goes this way and that way. >> oh, all right. >> jimmy: you get hit with -- you go in the east river. you get hit with water. you smell pizza at one point. >> how fantastic. >> jimmy: it's the most fun ride. and you would just love it. [ cheers and applause ] i love the whole park and orlando is great. didn't you love the theme park? >> i'm crazy about it. crazy about it. >> jimmy: i lo theme parks in general. i just love them. orlando, you just see families, they'rjust out there, everyone's having a good time. big smiles on their face. >> everyone is having a great time. so, when does it open? >> jimmy: i think it opens in the springtime. bit i'll email -- i'll email you and we'll do it. >> i will be there. >> jimmy: in the meantime, i will see you fencing. >> yes. >> jimmy: hey, you're a good man. >> thank you. >> jimmy: tim gunn right there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "project runway" airs thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on lifetime. we'll be right back with a a performance from the weeknd is here! [ cheers and applause ]
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