tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC November 27, 2015 12:07am-1:07am CST
>> thank you. >> jimmy: i know it was a big thing for you to make that even happen, and you just hit that one out of the park, man. >> that project was 22 years in the making. >> jimmy: oh, god. >> to take something down that long. >> jimmy: you can sing, though! my gosh! i mean, i've known you forever and i know you sing, and i know you can rap, but i mean, you can really, really, really sing. amazing. i go, "oh my gosh, you gotta get the soundtrack to 'bessie.'" >> please do. >> jimmy: check it out, because you will freak out. it's amazing. and now i think -- is that what made nbc go, "hey, would you like to do 'the wiz'?" or how did this come about? >> honestly, from the moment i heard neil and craig were doing this -- those are the producers. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and i've done "chicago" with them and i've done "hairspray" with them. i've had great success, and they've been -- i know they're top-notch producers. and they did the last two that were here on nbc -- "sound of music," "peter pan." >> jimmy: oh, they're giant. >> it's great. so just a hint of the word that they might be doing "the wiz." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the whiz. there's no h in there. >> what? what are you talking about? >> jimmy: the whiz.
>> i'm pretty sure that there's a h in "the wiz." >> jimmy: no, it's not w-h-i-z. not the whiz. >> it's the whiz, jimmy! >> jimmy: the wiz. [ laughter ] >> it's the whiz! >> jimmy: no, it's the wiz. not the whiz. >> that's what i said. the whiz. >> jimmy: no, no. [ laughter ] so this comes up -- >> w-i-z. wiz! >> jimmy: wiz. okay, yeah. this comes about, and not only are you in "the wiz," you are -- >> i'm the wiz! >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, you are -- [ cheering ] >> i'm the wiz! i'm the wiz! >> jimmy: look at this. >> oh, you got a picture of it. >> jimmy: whoo! look at that. [ cheers and applause ] how cool is that! >> i love photoshop. they took a little -- they shave a little off, a little -- [ laughter ] look how lean my thighs are. >> jimmy: do you have any input into this look? >> i did. paul tazewell is the costumer, and he is fantastic. he -- we kinda -- he came up, obviously, with the idea, but they let me work with them hand
in hand, all along the way to make sure it felt right, sit right, it could move well. >> jimmy: yeah. all the previews i've seen, everyone looks fantastic. >> it's going to be incredible. >> jimmy: let's go through the cast. >> i mean -- >> jimmy: mary j. blige. >> let's talk about mary j. blige. >> jimmy: no, she's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> eviline. >> jimmy: who's that? >> eviline. >> jimmy: eviline. okay. >> mary j. blige. uzo aduba. >> jimmy: who? >> uzo aduba. >> jimmy: uzo aduba's in it? >> you probably know her as crazy eyes. >> jimmy: i know her as crazy eyes, absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] >> there's not going to be crazy eyes. she is gonna blow your minds in this. amber riley, we're talkin' about ne-yo. elijah kelly. >> jimmy: neyo! >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i heard he's fantastic. >> the tin man. he is magnificent. >> jimmy: somebody said ne-yo is unbelievable. >> he is magnificent. you're going to be crushed when you hear some of these songs he sings. he sings so beautifully, such a a great actor. elijah kelly. >> jimmy: my man. >> shanice williams, a new discovery, as dorothy. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know her. >> from jersey. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> they discovered her out of thousands of people.
>> and then, come on, your boy. >> jimmy: david alan grier. how is he doing -- [ cheers ] he's the cowardly lion? >> david alan grier is the -- >> jimmy: he's one of the funniest people i've ever met in my life. >> jimmy, you know how hard it was to do "taxi," man. come on. we couldn't even keep a a straight face. >> jimmy: 'cause we were crying the whole time. >> it's the same thing with david alan grier, but he's in a a lion outfit tryin' to have -- "so, dana --" he calls me by my real name. "so dana, when --" but he looks like this. >> jimmy: yeah, he's a giant lion. >> he's a huge lion. >> jimmy: you can't have a a conversation with a lion. >> with whiskers. [ laughter ] no, man. you can't have that conversation with me. he's fantastic. >> jimmy: you've done "the wiz." i go, "oh my goodness, the first --" not the whiz, sorry. [ light laughter ] and you've done "the wiz" when you were a little kid. i didn't know this. >> yeah. i played dorothy in, like, seventh grade -- sixth grade or seventh grade. i went to c&s catholic school and there were, like, three dorothys in the play. >> jimmy: because of turnout. >> and everybody had to get to be a dorothy. >> jimmy: yeah, everyone. why not? >> but i was like -- there was one dorothy for each act, and one kind of looked like
dorothy, and one kinda was a a good actor, and i kind -- i could sing the song. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i was like, big. i didn't look nothing like dorothy. [ laughter ] but i could sing "home," and that was the -- i sang "home," which is like the big song that stephanie mills, who is in "the wiz" -- >> jimmy: i know. >> stephanie mills. >> jimmy: stephanie mills is in it. that's right. >> oh, my god. who played dorothy on broadway is in it. >> jimmy: and now she's auntie em. >> sang that song. got a standing ovation, and that was the first time and i was like, "oh. snap!" [ laughter ] you know, i do this and then they do that? >> jimmy: you got the bug. you got the bug, and now here you are. >> and one day i can be the whiz! >> jimmy: the whiz! [ laughter ] >> starring alongside stephanie mills. >> jimmy: queen latifah, everybody. do not miss her in "the wiz." [ cheers and applause ] look at this pretty face. thursday december 3rd. thursday, december 3rd, 8:00 p.m. right here on nbc. >> right here on nbc! >> jimmy: we'll be right back with rashida jones! >> the wiz!
i'm not a fan of putting my personal info in these online shopping forms. hellloooo??? i don't have time to be filling out my address, i need to be buying a dress. that's why i use masterpass. less typing, more dancing. sfx: tango music como te llamas? yo soy camarones. dip me. the easier way to shop online. masterpass from mastercard and your bank. it's the shortcut to priceless. squire?! what beer may i fetch you, my lord? umm... i'll have a redd's apple ale. and perhaps a wrench.
no. a wrench, a wrench. redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. just press clean and let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. roomba navigates your entire home cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. which means your floors are always clean. you and roomba from irobot
i'm going to ask you one more time, where's the million dollars? mr. dogg. my money is in the bank, baby. i'm not a baby, baby. oh, you wanted a million dollars? what are you doing here? you're supposed to be in the getaway car. why don't we just go to old navy, they're giving away a million dollars on thanksgiving. a million dollars? someone in line when stores open on thanksgiving will win a million dollars and everything's 50% off on thursday and friday! why would they do that? let's go to old navy! yea.
here's a penny just for you. that's no penny. that's a galaxy s 6 at u.s. cellular on black friday. whoa, thanks, grandma!! you're welcome. you can also get an lg g4 or an lg g pad f 8.0 with that penny. nice! isn't that just delightful? pennies for everyone! get penny doorbuster deals on great devices this black friday from 8:00 a.m. till noon
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! our next guest is a talented writer, director and performer as well as my annual holiday medley partner. starting sunday, january 17th, you can see every episode of her new comedy series "angie tribeca" in the 25-hour marathon that kicks off at 9:00 p.m. on tbs. it's a new thing they're doing. please welcome back to the show our pal, rashida jones! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, rashida jones, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] >> i love the "taxi" theme song. >> jimmy: i know, i love the "taxi" theme song. thank you for coming back to us
and singing the holiday medley. >> are you kidding? it's the highlight of my year. >> jimmy: no, it's so good. >> thanks for letting me do it. >> jimmy: no, it's the best thing ever. it's just so fun. we started it on "late night" and we just might as well keep doing it til -- >> forever. >> jimmy: until forever. >> forever! >> jimmy: i know. i hear that you were practicing your "hotline bling" dance before you came. >> i was. >> jimmy: i was trying to. it's tricky. >> you know, i feel like there's a little, like -- there's a lot of like, carlton from the "fresh prince" show in that. [ light laughter ] right? >> jimmy: is there? >> yeah, there was like -- there was like a neck thing. >> jimmy: i wasn't doing that. i just had -- call me on the cell phone like that? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. maybe, yeah. >> you know? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we were having turkey. that's how i dance. that's how i dance. when i come in the party, i'm like, "oh, my gosh. thanks for inviting me." >> you don't even have to try. >> jimmy: no, thanks for inviting me. it was so cool! [ laughter ] this is the best party i've ever been to. i was dancing all night last night. >> you're in natural "hotline bling" dance mode all the time. >> jimmy: thank you so much.
you're here for thanksgiving, helping us celebrate, then you're off to do this -- on netflix, december 4th, "a very murray christmas." murray. >> murray. murray christmas, everyone. >> jimmy: murray christmas. it's bill murray's christmas special on netflix. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and now explain this. it's so fun. it's -- sofia coppola directing? >> sofia coppola directed it, and it's like this really cool, beautiful weird, musical -- musical number, bill murray and huge special. >> jimmy: and who's in it? we have our pals -- amy poehler's in it. >> amy poehler's in it. maya rudolph. [ cheers and applause ] yes. maya rudolph. >> jimmy: maya rudolph is in it? >> yes. >> jimmy: love her. >> miley cyrus. >> jimmy: miley cyrus is fantastic. >> george clooney. >> jimmy: cloonberg? >> i mean, it's really -- it's really -- star-studded. >> jimmy: star-studded, yeah. so you do that, and that's going to be fun. december 4th, netflix. everyone check that out for the holidays. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now let's talk about "angie tribeca." >> yes. >> jimmy: because we were
talking about this for a long time and i go, "oh, my god, i'm so excited." like, yeah, i'm working this secret project. it's super fun. steve carell is the -- >> steve carell and his wife nancy created it and it's basically like -- it's a spoof of procedurals. so it's, like, imagine "csi," but if it were "airplane!" or "naked gun." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so excited about this. this is great. so, wait, but then, tbs is doing this thing. i've never heard of this now. >> yeah, it's a new thing. that's why. >> jimmy: 25-hour marathon of the brand new episodes. like, 'cause we can binge watch in a row? >> in a row. the idea is to just get the first season out there. there's ten episodes. they're showing it all day long, three times in a row and you can just sit there, stuff your face, enjoy some comedy, because it's the kind of show, too, you want to watch -- you're going to want to watch more episodes. like "law and order," but the funny version. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] and each episode stands alone or they're all connected? >> yeah, yeah, no. they're like procedurals, so it's like you follow the mystery from the beginning to the end. you know? >> jimmy: i love it. this is genius, yeah. >> maybe. >> jimmy: so you're like leslie nielsen.
>> i mean, yes. i'm trying to be. >> jimmy: yeah. this is fantastic. i want to show everyone a clip here. we have a clip. here's rashida jones in her new series "angie tribeca," premiering january 17th on tbs. check this out. >> i just don't know what to do if i'm not working. >> go out. meet someone! have a relationship! go on a date! lower your defenses, tribeca. i know you're lonely. >> you don't know me. >> both: i'm fine by myself! i don't need a relationship! i'm done with dating! >> ugh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rashida jones, everybody. "angie tribeca" starts sunday, juanuary 17th at 9:00 p.m. on tbs. we're cooking thanksgiving food with chef daniel humm after the break. stick around, everybody. it's gonna be fun! [ cheers and applause ]
don't miss olive garden's new flavorfilled pastas, with raviolis so nice we filled them twice. like indulgent lobster ravioli, freshly filled with lobster and cheese in a lobster alfredo sauce with sauteed jumbo shrimp. or chicken marsala ravioli, a new twist on an old favorite. bursting with roasted chicken and italian cheeses. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. enjoy double the deliciousness. new flavorfilled pastas, for a limited time! at olive garden. we're all family here. now get a $10 bonus for every $50 you spend on gift cards. we're testing hanes underwear and socks with x-temp technology. hey dad! emily? ready? no! wait! slow down a little! oow! it's designed to keep help keep you cool. hanes revolutionary x-temp technology.
do you know the secret to a happy home in these modern times? it's a housewife who's in control of the finances. actually, any wife, husband, or human person can use progressive's name your price tool to take control of their budget. and while the men do the hard work of making money, she can get all the car insurance options her little heart desires. or the women might do the hard work of making money. [ chuckling ] women don't have jobs. is this guy for real? modernizing car insurance with -- that's enough out of you! the name your price tool, only from progressive. where is your husband?
grandma is so happy to be here for your very first christmas. i hear you're quite the expert at waking people up in the morning. let me show you how grandma does it. your daddy made this when he was a little boy. this is your dad at my house, where he had his first christmas. thanks for making the coffee. well look who's up. i'm really glad you're here mom. me too. look who's here! here's a little healthy advice. take care of what makes you, you. right down to your skin. aveeno daily moisturizing lotion with 5 vital nutrients for healthier looking skin in just one day. aveeno . naturally beautiful results 'tis the season to save big at lowe's. so hurry in to your neighborhood store today for great black friday deals on all things christmas. now get 25% off select
proud of you, son. ge! a manufacturer. well that's why i dug this out for you. it's your grandpappy's hammer and he would have wanted you to have it. it meant a lot to him... yes, ge makes powerful machines. but i'll be writing the code that will allow those machines to share information with each other. i'll be changing the way the world works. (interrupting) you can't pick it up, can you? go ahead. he can't lift the hammer. it's okay though!
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: check us out again next week, everybody, from the giant new blockbuster movie "star wars the force awakens" j.j. abrams, harrison ford, and adam driver will all be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus we'll have performances from gwen stefani and sting. it's gonna be good. but right now i'm here with a a six-time james beard award winner. he's the chef and co-owner of the 3 michelin star, 11 madison park as well as the chef and co-owner of nomad. he's just released his third cookbook, the nomad cookbook. everyone, please welcome chef daniel humm.
>> jimmy: questlove, yeah. you guys know each other. this guy is a genius. he's so fun. the first time i went to your restaurant i didn't -- i thought i went to the wrong restaurant. do you remember that? >> yes. >> jimmy: and i kept saying, yeah, this is okay. it's pretty good and you go, no, you have not been to my restaurant. i go, "oh, yeah, we went to it." then you go, "no, that's the place next door." but then i finally went and i'm sorry. the other place was a great hot dog place. [ laughter ] anyway, but i went and you said, i want you to pretend like you're having clams on the beach or something, a clam bake. and i go, "okay." and you came with plates of sand and then clams done four different ways and then you were leaving and you go, "oh, by the way, and you threw like hot water on the seaweed and you smelled the ocean as we were sitting --" and i go, "oh, this guy's a magician." [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah, it was good. so, you were doing tricky stuff. you're here, you have this cookbook out. here's the nomad cookbook. this is all the stuff you cook in your restaurant, yeah? in nomad. >> yep. >> jimmy: all right, good. step by step and then the secret cocktail book in the back. [ cheers and applause ]
yeah. >> rashida: that's so cool. >> jimmy: now, why the secret cocktail book? >> well, my business partner and i were inspired by the prohibition era and during that time, obviously, alcohol had to be hidden. so, we wanted to hide the cocktail book and it's just like you in your little mug, the bourbon you have in there. [ laughter ] you hide it. no one knows about it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, now look, now, you told me this evening that if you eat turkey and thanksgiving food if you eat it, it makes everyone sleepy, but you said if you read -- if you eat it upside down that you do not get sleepy. >> yeah. it's crazy. my family and i eat upside down all the time and i really want you to try it. it really works. >> jimmy: okay, i'm gonna try it. i'm gonna do it and you're gonna feed -- these are takes on traditional thanksgiving food and you're gonna feed me and i have to guess what the
[ cheers and applause ] >> rashida: is the idea that you're so terrified that you're upside down that you don't fall asleep? >> you're so awake that you actually can taste the food so much better. >> rashida: okay. >> jimmy: where -- now where exactly are you from again where this is normal? [ laughter ] >> rashida: make sure you hold on to your handles. handles! [ laughter ] handles! >> jimmy: okay. >> rashida: oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. you ready? >> rashida: how do you feel? >> jimmy: better hurry up. >> this is your first one. >> rashida: oh, no. >> jimmy: i see why you don't get tired, 'cause all the food comes back up, yeah. [ laughter ] let me guess the first one. here we go. >> the first thing, what is more american than a hot dog? >> jimmy: nothing.
[ laughter ] >> i give you a hint. what do people love most about thanksgiving. >> jimmy: stuffing! >> stuffing. >> jimmy: that's stuffing. stuffing hot dog. >> jimmy: am i right? >> questlove: is this number one? >> number one. >> questlove: you got it right. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay, jimmy. >> jimmy: hurry up. i'm getting light headed. >> i know you love keg stands. so open up wide. >> rashida: so nervous. why? why is this happening? [ laughter ] >> yeah, rashida. >> jimmy: that is mashed potatoes. that's mashed potatoes and gravy. >> mashed potato. >> rashida: oh, that's amazing. >> jimmy: am i right? [ cheers and applause ] what is the last one? >> okay, jimmy. i know you love canned foods. can you help me? >> jimmy: i love canned food. >> i know you love canned
>> jimmy: oh, my -- is it canned turkey? >> rashida: i'm out. [ laughter ] >> now, jimmy, here comes the airplane. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is this turkey jello? >> this is momma humm's jelly turkey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, wait. can i ask a question? i'm the only one upside down here. >> jimmy, i wanted to tell you that this whole upside down thing, it doesn't actually work and i don't even know what you're doing here. it's a total joke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get me out of here! what's wrong with you? you are the worst -- i knew something was up. all right. let's go -- i want -- let's get a shot right now. this is thanksgiving. oh, my gosh, chef daniel humm, everybody!
[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- a special thanksgiving edition of, "late night" featuring larry, hilary, and josh meyers. we'll play, "how well do you know your meyers?" and cooking with hilary meyers. featuring the 8g band with brian chase. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." happy thanksgiving, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. let's get to the news. the nfl has three thanksgiving games today between the eagles and the lions, panthers and cowboys, and bears and packers. but the most exciting matchup
was still between your conservative uncle and his lesbian daughter. [ laughter ] rapper big sean performed during half-time of the eagles/lions game today. of course, before thanksgiving dinner he was just sean. [ light laughter ] many retailers this year launched their black friday deals a day early with some even starting at 6:00 this evening. so yes, grandma, i do need to bring my laptop to the table. [ laughter ] the first thanksgiving feast took place in 1621 but historians say that mashed potatoes, pumpkin pies, and cranberries were not present. and there certainly wasn't any celery in the stuffing, aunt carol. [ light laughter ] over 1,000 clowns performed in this morning's macy's thanksgiving day parade.
bands. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] the macy's thanksgiving day parade is the world's second largest consumer of helium after the u.s. government. [ light laughter ] said government officials -- [ high voice ] "wow that's shocking." [ light laughter ] that's your -- that's this thanksgiving's dumb helium joke. [ light laughter ] after weeks of touting her appearance on the campaign trail, donald trump's wife melania took the stage wednesday night and spoke briefly, telling the crowd, "good evening, isn't he the best? he will be the best president ever. we love you." a speech that was also word for word her wedding vows. [ laughter ] after critics said that one of donald trump's golf courses incorrectly claimed to be the site of a great civil war
battle, trump asked, "how would they know that, were they there?" said one critic, "i was." [ laughter and applause ] i mean, i was a kid, but i remember. [ light laughter ] a new poll found that 32% of americans do not like cranberry sauce. so even cranberry sauce is polling higher than jeb bush. [ laughter and applause ] a hunter in france is expected to make a full recovery after being hospitalized when his dog knocked his gun to the ground, jumped on the trigger, and shot him in the arm. fortunately, help arrived before his dog could finish reloading. [ laughter ] and finally, according to a new study on migrating tree frogs -- wait. i'm sorry. i could be wrong here, but i think i smell smoke. and that can only mean one thing. it's time for "ya burnt!"
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the burn zone! we got a lot of topics to sizzle through, but not a lot of time. over here is the burner, let's turn on the gas and load her up. [ light laughter ] whoo ow wow wow. [ laughter ] first up, hey, stuffing, let's call you what you are. a bunch of chewed up bread that spent the day in a turkey's ass. [ laughter ] and stuffing, could you be any drier? what's your secret ingredient? sand? stop trying to choke me. i'm not your tinder date. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] explain it to grandma tomorrow. hey, stuffing, go stuff yourself. ya burnt! [ applause ] breaking the wish bone. what kind of monster conceived this tradition? it's bad enough we eat the turkey, but do we have to rub it in by breaking his bones? that sounds less like a holiday tradition and more like foreplay for goblins. [ light laughter ] also, the wish part is total bull crap. because every time i crack a wish bone, i wish for the same thing and yet, here we are,
eating the same dry-ass stuffing. double burn, stuffing. >> double burn! [ laughter ] >> seth: hey, what's the story, wish bone? ya burnt. [ applause ] decorative gourds. you ain't decorative, you ugly. [ laughter ] you look like a bowling pin with warts. it doesn't help that we put you in a cornucopia, the only basket that encourages spilling. side burn cornucopias, or is it cornucopiae? >> cornucopii. >> seth: cornucopii? are you sure? >> i don't know. i'm not google. >> seth: don't say anything then. [ laughter ] decorative gourds, you gross weirdos, ya burnt. [ applause ] once-a-year relatives. the annual reminder that the family tree could use a couple less branches. let's face it, you are don't care what i've been up to and i don't care what you've been up to, so let's go full a.m. radio and stick to traffic, weather, and a little bit of sports. [ laughter ] and aunt judy, stop telling us how entrepreneurial your son greggy is. i'm friends with him on facebook.
no one is contributing to his vape shop for dogs kickstarter. >> puffpuffpooch.com. [ laughter ] >> seth: relatives, you may be family, but guess what. ya burnt! [ applause ] the rolls. oh, the rolls! oh, no! i completely forgot about the rolls! oh, no no no no -- no no! [ laughter ] oh, no! rolls -- ya burnt. [ laughter and applause ] gravy. the savior of thanksgiving dinner. all i have to do is pour you over any dry, tasteless meat or side dish and suddenly it all goes down smooth. and i don't get just a dollop of you, either. i get a whole boat and that's why you're this week's unburnable. ascend to safety where you can finally know how wonderful it is to eat yourself. [ applause ] next up, people who don't make enough gravy. what the hell is wrong with you? [ light laughter ]
get your head in the game. you have a tiny bowl of gravy and a vat of green bean casserole. you're like a drug dealer that's out of crack but has tons of claritin. [ siren ] uh-oh! that sound means that things are really cooking up. it must be time for our speed round. the blaze! [ cheers and applause ] hey, turkey pardoners. don't pat yourself on the back. you're a publicity stunt, not the oscar schindler of flightless birds. and also, ya blazed. candied yams. you're 10% yam and 90% candy. calling you a vegetable is like calling justin bieber a recording artist. ya blazed. [ laughter and applause ] the top button of my pants. i guess toys r us isn't the only thing opening at 4:00 p.m. on thanksgiving. ya blazed. [ laughter and applause ] the good china. more like the old china. my grandpa has newer plates in his back. ya blazed. [ laughter ] pilgrims. when the native americans asked you to bring something to dinner, they weren't talking about smallpox. ya blazed. [ laughter ] the detroit lions.
cecil the lion. ya blazed. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] oh, i'm not confident about how this next one is going to go. [ light laughter ] tryptophan. thanks, but i'll take my main course without a roofie in it. you're the bill cosby of thanksgiving dinner. [ cheers and applause ] ya blazed. cecil's not so bad anymore, is he? [ applause ] people with nowhere to go on thanksgiving, you -- [ buzzing ] oh, that buzzer means we have run out of time. looks like you lonely a-holes will have to garner our sympathy another time. this has been ya burnt! [ cheers and applause ] you guys! tonight we have a very special thanksgiving show for you. the meyers clan is in the house tonight. [ cheers and applause ] that is my father larry, my mother hillary, and my brother josh. we'll be playing america's favorite game show "how well do you know your meyers?" and then later we will be cooking with my mom as she makes my favorite snack of all time. her homemade chex mix. we'll be back with more "late
[ cheers and applause ] ing to ask you one more time, where's the million dollars? mr. dogg. my money is in the bank, baby. i'm not a baby, baby. oh, you wanted a million dollars? what are you doing here? you're supposed to be in the getaway car. why don't we just go to old navy, they're giving away a million dollars on thanksgiving. a million dollars? someone in line when stores open on thanksgiving will win a million dollars and everything's 50% off on thursday and friday! why would they do that? let's go to old navy! yea. that is insane... some drinks are hardly refreshing. [glass breaking] i think we'll grab a redd's wicked apple. haaaaa. redd's wicked apple and new black cherry. refreshingly hard. we're all familiar with this, axe daily fragrances. but what you wouldn't have seen is this, axe dry spray antiperspirant. why are you touching your armpit?
i was just checking to see if it's dry. don't, that's weird. the first ever dry spray antiperspirant from axe. (exec 1) well, directv beat us in customer satisfaction again for the 15th year in a row. but we have a plan. (exec 2) when our customers are on hold, let's up their satisfaction with some new hold music. (exec 2) that's glenn from the mailroom. he djs on the weekends. (exec 3) sorry, who is it? (exec 2) it's glenn, from the mailroom. he dj'ed bill's wedding. (exec 3) he what? (exec 2) he goes by dj glenn, he works way downstairs. (exec 3) what'd he say? (exec 2) glenn, from the mailroom! (vo) get rid of cable. and upgrade to directv.
i am never getting married. we're never having kids. mmm-mmm. we are never moving to the suburbs. we are never having another kid. i'm pregnant. i am never letting go. for all the nevers in life, state farm is there. stuff your stockings with big savings at lowe's. hurry in today for great black friday deals on all of your holiday gifts. ooh. now get this 20-volt dewalt
"i asked people to include gift receipts when they give me presents." [ laughter ] bad dog. >> very bad dog. >> seth: that's just tacky behavior. >> all right. who do we have next? [ audience aws ] aww, i like this little guy. "i asked people if they haven't been working out." [ laughter ] >> steve: that's terrible. >> bad dog. >> seth: terrible thing to say to somebody. bad dog. who do we have next? oh, he couldn't have done anything too bad. "i knowingly came to work with a fever, and then when everyone got sick, i said, 'hmm. it must be something going around.'" [ laughter ] that's just like, irresponsible. >> yeah, super bad dog. all right, who's next? this guy is adorable. "in the early '90s, i was hired by philip morris to suppress information that cigarettes are addictive." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: why would you do that? >> that corporate shill. >> seth: it's a corporate shill. [ light laughter ] who do we have next? [ audience aws ] this one seems like a good little boy. "i go to improv shows and shout out, 'dildo.'" [ laughter and applause ] not a helpful suggestion. >> also, unoriginal, dog. >> seth: it's not original. yeah, a lot of people have
yelled out, "dildo" at improv shows. >> funny word though. >> seth: funny word. [ laughter ] >> all right. who do we have next? aww! that's all i can say about this dog is "aww, what could he have done?" "i listened to adele's new album and felt nothing." [ laughter ] >> seth: how? >> bad dog! >> seth: how is that possible? who's next? what could he have done? i am currently catfishing eleven prisoners on death row, and they all think i am their fiance. [ laughter and applause ] god. >> creepy. >> seth: bad dog. >> yeah, bad dog. who's the next pooch taking the walk of extreme shame? i love a golden retriever. "my mom asked me how to join facebook and i told her it was $12.99 a month." [ laughter ] >> seth: bad dog. >> bad dog. smart dog. >> seth: very smart dog. i wish i'd thought of that. who's next? this is what you call a cute little fella. "whenever i'm hungover, i go to the e.r. to get an iv." [ laughter ] oh, god. what a loser. there's real sick people that need to be in the e.r. you just have to stop drinking
so much. [ light laughter ] >> all right. who do we have next? this is a good guy. "my mom got back surgery, and the first thing i asked her when she woke up was if i could have some of her percocet." [ laughter ] >> seth: that's just terrible behavior. you have a problem. >> i have a lot of friends like that dog, too. [ laughter ] >> wait. how'd this guy get in here? "i'm a dog. please don't eat me." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: that's not gonna work. >> nice try, buddy. >> seth: it's very creative. >> yeah. >> seth: and it's a shame that someone, somewhere right now is eating a turkey that had the power to make a poster-board sign. [ laughter ] all right. who's next? wait a minute. this is my dog, frisbee. frisbee, what did you do? "i prefer josh." you know -- [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] one day i'm going to win you over, frisbee. that was "extreme dog shaming." we'll be right back with our parents.
you may not even think about the energy that lights up your world. but we do. we're exxonmobil. and the cleaner-burning natural gas we produce generates more of ourelectricity than ever before... ...helping dramatically reduce america's emissions. because turning on the lights, isn't as simple as just flipping a switch.
and i have known for as long as we can remember. [ light laughter ] they currently reside in bedford, new hampshire and are often mentioned on this show. please welcome back our parents, hilary and larry meyers. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hi, you guys! >> hi! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you look beautiful. >> thank you. >> seth: thank you. are you excited to be back? >> i am very excited to be back. >> seth: okay, got ya. now, i want to talk -- the last time josh was on the show, he was on a show on amazon called, "red oaks" that took place in the '80s. and one of the things he was talking about was back in the '80s when we were living in michigan, we had a very -- you guys had a company party that was very '80s themed. i think a part of it could only
party to your best memory. >> josh: well, it wasn't '80s-themed. it was the '80s. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, that's true. yeah. [ laughter ] i remember everybody was wearing '80s clothes, '80s music. >> josh: you are right on the money. but, like, we had -- mom had a big cadillac, and dad tied a rope to the back of the cadillac. and they had gotten a bunch of roller skates to, like, pull people up a hill, and then come down the hill. >> seth: yeah. >> josh: but it just seemed, like, really dangerous. it was a dangerous thing you wouldn't -- >> seth: did you put on the roller skates? >> i had never roller skated in my life. you know i have a fear of falling. >> seth: yeah. >> and i have a fear of danger that i've passed onto you. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> so i had never had roller skates on in my life. >> seth: how did you make it to that point of your life without having roller skates on? >> i don't know. >> chicken! [ laughter ] >> i was scared. i was tall, so when i put on skates, i was like six feet tall. and then dad says, "there's -- nothing's going to happen.
just hold onto the rope." >> seth: okay. >> so you're going wicked fast. the cadillac takes off, and then, i let go. and all of a sudden -- >> seth: why would you let go? >> he told me to! [ laughter ] so i crashed to the ground and my hand -- this is no lie -- black and blue all the way through. >> seth: wow. were there a lot of injuries at this party, dad? >> no. >> how many people went to the party? about 30? >> seth: yeah. >> one. >> seth: one injury. so it was just you. so you were the only person. >> one injury. >> josh: but then, the biggest swing and the miss from the whole thing -- >> wait, that was a miss? >> josh: that was a miss. >> 29 people loved it. [ laughter ] >> josh: all right. you can have that. >> it was a death trap. >> josh: the biggest swing and a miss, dad thought, "what's a great activity for your company company to do together?" and came up with mud wrestling. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> josh: so he dug a ten-by-ten-foot pit in our back yard. >> seth: i just remember -- imagine being a kid and seeing your dad just, like, digging a hole -- >> josh: and putting, like, the garden hose in it.
so you have cold hose water filling up a, like, rooty, rocky pit. >> seth: did this mud pit plan go as well as you had hoped? >> not quite as well. there were some cuts and bruises. yeah. >> seth: i don't remember anybody even getting into the mud-wrestling pit. >> i think i forced two people to do it just so i wouldn't look completely like an idiot for doing it. [ light laughter ] >> seth: but ultimately, this turns out this is not the way to do a mud-wrestling pit. you don't just dig up dirt and add water, right? >> no, i think you buy like, clay or something. >> seth: you buy proper mud. [ laughter ] >> we haven't done it since. >> no, no. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> it was a fad that came and went. >> josh: i don't know if you can even call mud wrestling a fad. >> a very short fad. it was the '80s. stuff happened in a hurry. you're too young to remember. [ laughter ] roller skating -- gone. >> josh: it was that one scene in "stripes." >> seth: now, another thing i remember -- because you guys would host a lot of parties at the house, is any time there was a party, you enlisted josh and i to help. but you basically made us work
as bartenders. >> no, waiters. more, waters. >> seth: more waiters than bartenders. how old were you saying we were doing it? >> 6 and 8? [ laughter and applause ] and you had -- daddy would always give you a dish towel and put it over your arm. and a little tray and you'd have to take it around to people. >> seth: yeah. and we would just go order drinks and people would tell us what to get. what do you remember about our time as waiters? >> josh: i just remember that people would say, like, "oh you pour a stiff drink." [ laughter ] and i would be like, "yeah, i'm 6." [ laughter ] and i don't know if we -- i don't know if we made drinks that mom would like or if she got her taste for a stiff drink -- >> seth: from the way we made drinks, yeah. >> josh: i don't know. >> seth: you do like them pretty stiff. >> yeah. >> there was reasoning behind that. if we were having a party, the idea was to kind of let everybody see our kids, right? and they would all get to meet you, and you were doing
[ laughter ] then you'd go somewhere and be out of the picture after awhile. i thought it was kind of cute. >> josh: yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: and again, this is another interesting story, when child services showed up. no. [ laughter ] we had to pretend we weren't home. [ laughter ] now, of course being thanksgiving, christmas is around the corner. we're going to now go through this dance of trying to figure out what everybody wants for christmas amongst us. famously, you guys get each other terrible presents. >> right. >> seth: you love each other very much. i would say you know each other very much. you cannot for the life of you figure out what each other wants for christmas. >> no. >> nada. >> seth: can you remember the worst one ever, josh? >> josh: the pink cowboy hat. >> seth: yeah, so talk this through, and say exactly what mom said when she saw it. >> josh: well, the wrapping's always beautiful, so mom gets this nice, box and unwraps it and takes out, like, a fluorescent pink cowboy hat. >> we live in new hampshire. >> seth: yeah, well, that's true.