tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC January 21, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CST
and medicare... or shut down planned parenthood...
she'll take on the gun lobby... finally get equal pay for women... and stop the republicans from ripping all our progress away. so on february first, stand up for hillary. because if you want a president who knows how to keep america safe... and build a stronger economy... hillary's the choice... i'm listening to you, i'm fighting for you, and with your support, i'm going to deliver. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his sarah silverman, republican presidential candidate marco rubio, musical guest wet.
>> questlove: 405, oklahoma city!
>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, everybody! welcome. [ cheers ] welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you guys made it. you're here. you're safe. you're warm. this is the show. [ cheers and applause ] and you're watching from home. thank you for watching. guys, i'm your host jimmy fallon. guys, we have republican presidential candidate
tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and to make marco feel comfortable during the interview, we have five other guys who are going to interrupt him every time he talks. [ laughter and applause ] "my turn." "okay, my turn." [ laughter ] here's the latest on the election, you guys. at a donald trump rally in oklahoma, sarah palin called president obama a weak-kneed capitulator in chief. [ laughter ] when asked if she knows what a a capitulator is, she said "of course i do, it's one of those worms that turn into a a butterfly." [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah, sure. this week, the manager of a a pizza restaurant in iowa put up a sign that said donald trump could eat for free, but trump never showed up. [ laughter ] shortly after, thousands of restaurants across the country put up signs saying donald trump could eat for free. [ laughter and applause ] i just thought it was odd. why would they do that?
come by. >> steve: chris christie, i know. >> jimmy: check this out. a new "people" magazine profile on bernie sanders said that he still does his own grocery shopping. grocery shopping usually takes bernie a while because he always stops for an hour to yell at the 1% milk. [ laughter ] "what about the other 99%? no one talks about that milk. no one talks about the 99% milk that you should be drinking." [ light laughter ] the article also said that bernie sanders' son calls his dad the bernster. [ laughter ] while jeb bush's son calls him "my mom's friend, jeb." [ laughter and applause ] that's sad. you shouldn't do that. cold. guys, i saw that a new ad from bernie sanders uses music from simon and garfunkel. at first, people wondered how they got the rights, and then they looked at old photos and realized bernie sanders might be garfunkel. [ laughter ]
[ applause ] we're finding out now. we're finding out now. we're still finding out. we're still finding out. >> steve: they don't know yet? they're still looking. >> jimmy: guys, listen to this, the white house just announced new guidelines that say doctors must let patients see their medical records if they request them. and doctors are like "just so you guys know, 'lard ass' is a a medical term. [ laughter and applause ] so -- it means healthy butt." and get this, a leaked memo revealed that espn told its reporters and announcers not to make political comments on air. seems weird, but looking at a a few games they've aired recently, you can see where the problem is coming from. >> green holds on to it. good hands. he passes it on ahead. iguodala, slam dunk. obama's not my president. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have to listen -- it's there. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: you gotta listen close, but it's there. you can hear something. >> steve: that's insane. >> jimmy: you got to listen close. it's something there. >> steve: no wonder the memo. >> jimmy: no, yeah.
later. you can hear it. [ light laughter ] of course, the other big story right now is winter storm jonas, which could drop over two feet of snow on parts of the northeast. meteorologists say winter storm jonas wasn't that strong until it left its brothers joe and kevin. [ laughter ] then, unstoppable. [ applause ] hit after hit after hit. i mean, unstoppable. little entertainment news here. i saw that jennifer lawrence is set to star in a biopic about a a spy who became fidel castro's lover in the late '50s. i won't spoil why they broke up. let's just say he had a little bit of a cuban missile crisis. [ laughter ] >> steve: zoink! rink! ronk! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, this really made me laugh. have you seen this, higgs? this is really funny. last night on "wheel of fortune," we love "wheel of fortune." we love pat and vanna, and everybody. we were watching. these two contestants had back-to-back guesses that were
watch this. >> and the category is the ever popular food and drink. [ ding ] >> homemade waffles? >> no. still time. [ ding ] everybody else. christine? >> homemade waffles? [ laughter ] >> still not that. >> jimmy: still no. still no. yeah. "i'm sorry, pat, she's -- what are homemade waffles?" [ laughter ] "that's the wrong show." "pat, i'd like to buy a a waffle." "we don't have any damn waffles." [ laughter ] guys, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, right there! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice, very nice. guys, it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, my pal jeff daniels will be here. >> steve: yeah!
that's going to be fun. plus, we have music from st. lucia and thank you notes. because it's friday. it's going to be good. so tune into for show tomorrow. set your tivos or whatever you do. you know, your dvrs. >> steve: dvr it. >> jimmy: betamax. >> steve: film it. >> jimmy: whatever you guys got, yeah. >> steve: 70 millimeter. >> jimmy: cd-rs. >> steve: sure. fisher price. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. she's a unbelievable comedian. she's a bestselling author, and earned a screen actors guild award nomination for her dramatic performance in the film, "i smile back." sarah silverman is here. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love sarah silverman. sarah and i are going to catch up and talk about her movie, then we're going to play a a round of word sneak. it's a fun game. so you don't want to miss that. plus, from the great state of florida, he's seeking the 2016 republican presidential nomination. senator marco rubio is joining us this evening. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and making their television debut with us
we have music from wet! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: there it is right there. wet. >> steve: oh. ooh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: freaky -- freaky album. i posed for that. >> steve: did you really, you're the shadow in that? >> jimmy: that's my hand. >> steve: or was that your back? >> jimmy: it's my back. [ laughter ] that's me with my shirt off. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah, it's cool. i've known wet for a while, so they figured they'd just put me on the cover. i was like, "can i be on the inside?" and they go, "sure." there i am. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my mustache. >> steve: that's your mustache that you shaved? >> jimmy: yeah, i used to have a mustache. >> steve: used to be like a a salvador dali. >> jimmy: long time ago. yeah, yeah. >> steve: back in the day. >> jimmy: anyway, good stuff. you want to hear a little bit of wet? here you go. this is "weak." oh baby baby baby if you're -- that's it. that's all you get. you're going to get that tonight. [ applause ] wet is here tonight, guys. hey, it's time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go.
hashtags >> jimmy: oh, that's right. you guys are on twitter? anyone use twitter? [ cheers ] it's fun. we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since there's a huge winter storm predicted to hit the northeast this weekend, i went on twitter and started a a hashtag, #awwhellsnow. [ laughter ] i asked you guys to tweet out a a funny, weird or embarrassing story about winter. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s., so thank you for those tweets. [ applause ] i appreciate that, for playing along. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite "aww hell snow" tweets from you guys. this first one's from @yesitsvicky. "i once slipped on ice outside a supermarket, and when i came in they were replaying it on the security cameras." [ laughter ] >> steve: ohh. >> jimmy: "oh, hi, yes. hi, how's it going?" >> steve: ha, ha, ha, ha! >> jimmy: all right. this one is from
[ laughter ] >> steve: he is that guy. >> jimmy: yeah, i think he is that guy. yeah, no. he says, "i had to call home in second grade because i moved the carrot on the school snowman to the place where dad put it on ours at home." [ applause ] >> steve: oh, boy. zoink! >> jimmy: you should also move the lumps of coal. [ laughter ] this one is from @weslyngray. she says, "i pushed the sunroof button instead of the garage door and ended up with a foot of snow in my lap." [ laughter ] that's great. >> steve: avalanche! >> jimmy: this one's from @robertcarnell. he says, "sled riding with my 2-year-old cousin. i could see we were going to hit the house so i rolled off and let him hit it." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: 2-year-old cousin. >> jimmy: every kid for themselves! >> steve: get out!
this one is from @bluesdrew. he says, "my brother convinced me to give my clothes to the snowman we were making in the yard, then he locked me out of the house in my underwear." [ applause ] >> steve: that's what brothers do. >> jimmy: that's what brothers do, man. >> steve: it's his job. >> jimmy: this is from @amonmissladdy. she says, "when i asked my dad if we could get a snowblower, he said no because there had to be some use to having children." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: yay, dad! >> jimmy: this one's is from @thehexican. he says, "my buddy got stuck in the driveway, so i helped him dig out push for ten minutes. he had the emergency brake on." [ laughter ] "it ain't budging, man! it ain't budging, you gotta dig more!" "hey, thanks for coming by, man." >> steve: you got it! you got it, dude. you got it. >> jimmy: see you later. this last one is from @clonenick. she says, "i once saw my neighbor salting his driveway with a table salt shaker." [ laughter ] there you have it, guys. those are our "tonight show"
to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around, we'll be right back with sarah silverman, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] real cheese, yes please. introducing new melty mozzarella sticks at mcdonald's. made with 100% real cheese. served hot. dip 'em in zesty marinara deliciousness.
congress doesn't regulate wall street... wall street regulates congress. it's a rigged economy that sends most new wealth to the top 1%. and it's held in place by a corrupt political system where wall street banks and billionaires buy elections. my campaign is funded by over two and a half million small contributions. people who know
you can't level the playing field by taking more money from wall street. i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a brilliant standup comedian, she's a multiple emmy-award winner, a "new york times"-bestselling author and recently earned a s.a.g. award nomination for her performance in the dramatic film, "i smile back," which is now available on itunes and on demand. she's fantastic in it. please welcome our pal, sarah silverman, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my goodness. oh, we missed you. oh. sarah silverman, good to see
here at 11:30. this is the first time on our "tonight show." >> i love what you've done with it. >> jimmy: thank you so much. i appreciate that. you look gorgeous as always. thank youfor dressing up. >> you have no idea what's happened. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm going to go back to being sloppy me, i think. i did a year of whatever the fancy people told me, but i am literally -- about 90 seconds ago the whole zipper of this dress just popped open. the teeth just went, "hi!" [ laughter ] so i'm kind of like, sewed in. >> jimmy: all right, well don't move. you look fantastic. you look great. that's perfect. don't touch it. perfect. don't even, yeah. you're very fashion forward. i always know that of you. you're very fashionable. i follow you on twitter. i saw that you wanted to start your own perfume. >> i really do. >> jimmy: yeah. @sarahksilverman. that's you, right? >> yeah, that is me. >> jimmy: yeah, i follow you. [ laughter ] you said you want to start your
interesting. >> well, all these ladies have scents, and i want one because i think about it every night when i walk my dog. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> i live in an apartment building and i live -- like, i actually live in an apartment building where there's a a laundry room and everyone does their laundry. there's one washer, one dryer on every floor. and when i walk my dog, i walk past there, and it always -- i would call my scent, "laundromat." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. i love that smell. >> and it just has that hot smell. i'm going to be honest, it's tide. it's probably tide. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: something, yeah. >> but it would be called "laundromat." i love the smell of the laundromats here. >> jimmy: me, too, i love that, too. >> there's a heat -- >> jimmy: you got to do "laundromat." >> it's a warm, clean smell. >> jimmy: it could also be a a dryer sheet, too. [ laughter ] i'm not sure. >> i find dryer sheets too perfumy. i appreciate you pitching. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm just spitballing, here. i'm just spitballing. >> that's what we do as comedians, but, no.
in real life? >> my friend heidi's going to laugh, because, yes. >> jimmy: you smell nice. >> i wear -- when i moved to new york city when i was 18, my mom gave me white musk from the body shop, and that is still what i wear to this day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really? white musk. >> the body shop is a store that is from 1980. you go into a time machine and then you buy your white musk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think it's still around, right? it must be if you still wear it. >> i do. >> jimmy: and that's your smell. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you smell good. >> you smell that? >> jimmy: i do. yeah, it smells great. it's clean. it's not too much. yeah. not -- it's not too much. not too little. it's perfect. yeah. >> you put it on a clean body. it's not supposed to cover filth. [ laughter ] i'm not -- i'm sorry. i just, when men -- all right. never mind. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. do you like it when men wear cologne? >> no, i don't. >> jimmy: i'm not wearing any. >> why am i so angry? i'm passionate about this. >> jimmy: not angry.
>> i love uber, as we all do. it's convenient. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. >> i will only uber-x because i want to get in someone's nice, clean toyota. i don't want to get into some limousine that smells like b.o. and drakkar. [ laughter ] it's gross. >> jimmy: so they're putting it -- they're covering it is what you're saying. >> it's so strong, and it makes me -- i've become my mother, but it makes me sick. i put my nose in a tissue like i'm like, "uh." [ laughter ] i really can't take it. >> jimmy: really? your boyfriend doesn't wear -- he doesn't wear cologne? >> no. >> jimmy: natural scent? >> i love his smells. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> he gets mad at me because, like, one time he burped in the kitchen and i was like, [ sniffs ] and he goes, "stop it!" i was like, "i want to know all your smells. i love you." [ laughter ] but i do -- >> jimmy: i want to know all your smells. >> my -- >> jimmy: so romantic. >> this would be a pheromone, i don't know -- no, that doesn't make sense, but i love, like, the smell of his armpits make me crazy. i love it. [ laughter ]
[ laughter and applause ] he's in the audience sitting with todd barry. i don't mean to name drop. [ laughter ] and i love the smell of his armpits. and he's shy, and we have to negotiate, like, letting me get in there. [ laughter ] because he doesn't like it. and i like his smells. so one year for my birthday, the year before last, he did the most selfless, beautiful thing. he spent a whole day with a a cotton ball under his armpit and under his balls -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, come on. >> -- and one in his ass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> i feel like he was doing the magic three because it's not like i've been looking to smell his ass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: magic three, what are you talking about? >> the comedy magic number of three. i don't know. really it's just the ballsand the armpit that i -- >> jimmy: what would he do with these cotton balls? >> he put them in little glass vials and label them and presented it to me and it's on my piano.
>> jimmy: and it's gonna be on this week's episode is "dateline." [ laughter and applause ] "he gave her a vial of his --" yeah. >> that's right. i have his dna in so many ways. >> jimmy: you really do. absolutely. [ laughter ] oops. [ laughter and applause ] >> where is he? where is he? >> jimmy: it's a true story. yeah, okay. good. just so you know, everybody. it's not preplanned. a little todd barry cameo there as well. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want to talk to you about your movie. i want to talk about your performance, "i smile back." you just got nominated for a a screen actor's guild award along with cate blanchett, brie larson, helen mirren, and sorcha ronan. >> i did. >> jimmy: yeah. that's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] well done. that's got to feel good. a s.a.g. award. that -- >> it feels so nice. it really is. it was very special. >> jimmy: yeah. you tweeted out, "horrified to
hacks." [ laughter ] >> that's pretty pedestrian funny. i concede. it was a funny tweet, calling them hacks. we all know they're not hacks. they're brilliant actresses. >> jimmy: that's one of the coolest awards, i think, because it's just a community. it's like, voting for each other saying, "hey, you did a a great job. you were awesome in this movie." and i think, as a comedian, you go, "i'd love to get a dramatic role and be able to score in it." and you did. you got the role, but then you scored in it. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you were great. >> well, you know? you're a beautiful actor. >> jimmy: and jacques charles is great as well playing your husband in the movie. basically i don't really know how to describe the movie. do you really know how? >> i still haven't figured out how to nutshell the movie. listen, it's a woman, a a housewife who is, on paper, has a great life, husband, kids, but she's a drug addict,
depression. and i don't think it's a a really, necessarily a very -- it's a unique story, but i don't know that it's a unique story in terms of i think it's a bit of an epidemic. >> jimmy: a common story, yeah. how did they find you for this? like, the director? >> it's become, like, the story of how movies are made. i was on howard stern. >> jimmy: hey, all right. >> our pal, howard stern, talking about my own experience with depression. and amy coppellman, who wrote the novel, was driving down the highway listening to howard and just decided that this part had to be me. luckily it was, like, a really bleak, kind of kismet. >> jimmy: man, was she right. it's good, and it's jarring in a way because i watched and go, "oh, good, sarah. i can't wait to see it. you're funny." and then -- [ laughter ] it goes -- it swerves. yeah, it swerves off the road.
i'm, like, "hi, i'm driving!" >> jimmy: no, no, no, it gets deep. it gets dark. man, oh man, you handle it so well. i want to show everyone a clip. i'm tired of talking about it because i want you guys to see it. here's a look at sarah silverman's s.a.g. award nominated performance in the dramatic film, "i smile back," it's available now on demand. check this out. >> and itunes. >> this point in the year, eli is familiar enough to get to his own classroom. he'll be fine. >> i'll take janey? okay. >> i'm okay, mom. >> are you sure? wait, janey, give me a kiss. all right, baby. >> i'll see you later. >> is that how you want to raise your kids? >> yeah, that's how i want to raise my kids.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're here with sarah silverman , once again. [ cheers and applause ] her critically acclaimed new movie, "i smile back" is available on itunes and on demand. "i smile back." check it out. now, sarah, i want to keep the interview going. let's spice up the conversation with a little word sneak. here we go. work sneak word
sneak >> jimmy:now, here's the way
we'll each get five cards with random words written on them. our goal is to work the words into the conversation as casually and seamlessly as possible. are you ready for this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good. there are your cards. you start with one. look at one. i'll just start with a question and then you -- did you make any new year's resolutions this year, sarah? >> you know, i never really do. i'm trying to hunt more. [
laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what you want to do for 2016? >> yeah, i mean, you know, because it keeps -- its good for the animal population. if you hunt deer, you hunt moose, you hunt whatever, and it keeps them, like, somehow it's good for them or something. >> jimmy: that's a good point. yeah. i don't hunt. i don't hunt. if i do, i just like to beat them down. [ laughter ] i like to get right in as close as i can. >> what do you use? >> jimmy: i use a stick and i just -- you know, like, i hit them like a pinata.
until i feel satisfied and then i'm done. >> that's great. >> jimmy: yeah, it's fun. it's just something i've been doing. [ laughter ] something i've been doing. something i've been into. it's just a little quirk no one knows about me. >> when you do beat animals to death -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah? >> and have you ever noticed this, because i actually am trying to think of animals right now. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> do they have belly buttons? [ laughter ] when they're born, there is an umbilical cord, right? and, it's just, they, do they just chew it off or they eat it off? they don't have someone, like, snipping it off, but either way, it's -- >> jimmy: i don't even know because once i'm done beating them, i'm just, i'm on my hoverboard and going to the next animal. [ laughter ] ready to beat -- off to the next one. i don't -- i mean, i do it -- it's a time thing. more of i don't care about how many animals, so i do 30 minutes of hunting every day. [ laughter ]
use a tennis racket, sometimes you want to use, i don't know what i'm trying to say. i don't know where this is going. i'm like, in the middle. all i'm thinking about is i'm re-watching "l.a. law" when i'm on the elliptical. so, it's like, i want to see susan day. i wanna see jimmy smits. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you say "l.a. law"? >> sarah: yeah. >> jimmy: because it's funny, every night after the show, i get home, sit in my bean bag chair, glass of warm buttermilk -- [ laughter ] and an e-cig. just sit back, watch "l.a. law" reruns and just enjoy myself. and just go, "hey, i deserve it, man." >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: yeah, i had a tough day. that's just how i like to relax. you flashed it back for me. it's interesting. [ laughter ] what are you thinking about? >> my beaver. [ laughter ]
it's not what you think. it's not you think. it's what i call my [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a name of the a new pitbull song which i just heard. [ laughter ] [ ding ] i'm gonna end it right there. you're in trouble, missy. that's a great conversation right there with sarah silverman, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] always a pleasure. thank you, thank you, thank you for being so funny and awesome. senator marco rubio joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] why fit in when you were born to stand out.
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job in the world. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a u.s. senator from florida currently seeking the 2016 republican presidential nomination. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome marco rubio! [ cheers and applause ]
everybody. that was nice. >> did he just sing "rubio?" >> jimmy: rubio, rubio. yeah,
yeah. >> they got permission to do that? >> jimmy: we got permission from -- yeah. we can pay for that one, yeah. [ laughter ] thank you so much. >> those are nice. where'd you get those, man? >> jimmy: i just -- thank you very much for being here. oh, i'm sorry. do you like my boots. >> i do. can i keep them? [ laughter ] i need a backup pair. >> jimmy: can you believe that your boots -- >> i need one in iowa and one in new hampshire. so you gotta give me the -- >> jimmy: why is it a big deal that you wore these? i love these boots, by the way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and people made a big deal that you had heels on your boots. who cares? these are great boots, by the way. these are floor -- no floor shine. weekends. >> jimmy: you only wear them on >> yeah.
>> jimmy: you wear them to bed? >> yeah. the truth is, they're a step up. when i was in, like, in college, i bought some boots like that and remember the old foam parties? remember that? you don't remember that. >> jimmy: yeah, a foam party? >> yeah, yeah. so i bought some of those and when i left the foam party, they were white. cause the foam like washed the dye out of it. it was really bad. so these are like a step up. >> jimmy: you used to go to those dance parties? >> i went one time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't say that you go to them all the time. you went once. >> yeah. well that's all you need. they ruined my boots. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think they're cool. my dad wore these zipper boots to work. he worked at ibm. and i got into them and i started wearing them, too, and i know will ferrell lov to wear them around the office, >> yeah. >> jimmy: wh >> because he went to a foam party. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's probably why. but i think you shoul wear them. have you stopped wear >> no, they're in an they'll be used at the appropriate time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: undisclosed location. hiding. yeah. back out. don't let people bully you, man. they look
you can do whatever you want to do. you're running for president. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to our show, and thank you for being here. >> thank you. jimmy: appreciate it. new york city h meaning for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: because -- >> i got engaged here. >> jimmy: yeah. what's the story behind that one? yeah. >> it was like a long time ago, but it was -- yes. [ laughter ] but it was a good. it was a good thing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so we came here on valentine's day in 1997, and i told my -- i wanted to propose to her on top of the empire state building. she liked "sleepless in seattle," is that the name of it? >> jimmy: sure, yeah. great movie. [ light laughter ] it's great movie. >> yeah, i thought it was about insomnia, but it's not. it's like a -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no that's where they get you. yeah. >> it was cold. and she didn't want to go up there to the top so i had to figure out quickly, like, how am i gonna get her up there. >> jimmy: she didn't' wanna do to the top of the empire state building? >> no, it was cold. and we're from florida. so it was like 40s. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not even cold. yeah. >> so we wanna go up there. so, i finally convinced her, i said, "look, as a child, i always loved king kong. remember king kong was on top of the building?"
a real story." i go, "i know but i liked it. let's go." so i got her up there, i proposed and then i was afraid -- i don't know why it was this thing, i thought i was going to drop the ring off the side. so i grabbed the ring back and gave it back to her when we got to the bottom. [ laughter ] i was just worried i would lose the ring, like, it would fall off the side. you're not gonna find it. >> jimmy: just don't go to the empire state build >> it's in new york gonna find it. >> jimmy: this is l >> i know. but that's wher "sleepless in they sh by, you know, somewhere flatter. [ laughte >> jimmy: you just g renting other movies. but i mean you're happily married. you got four great kids, ri >> they the show. they said, "they're going to boo at you, dad, they're going to boo at you when you wa out." [ audience aws ] and it didn't happen. that's good. >> jimmy: they don't boo anybody. [ cheers and applause ] they can. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: they can if you want them to. i mean, we -- > anybody. but now they can't watch the show tonight because segment was kind of -- the question thing. [ laughter ] i mean there was a couple points there where i have to figure out how to in the dvr or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll send you a clip of this. >> yeah, just send this clip. >> jimmy: yeah. cause they anywa >> and l too, yeah.
>> yeah. >> jimmy: they don't > think one of them migh bought it for me. >> jimmy: really like the boots. >> oh, you did? >> jimmy: yeah. i'm not making fun of the boots. >> no, i thought it was a a comedy show. i didn't know. i thought we're -- okay. [ laugh >> jimmy: you're gonna get boots. [ laughter you keep this u you keep this up actually really do enjoy the boots. i think that you should wear them. >> i'm actually tired of talking about [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think it's gift. i actually do find them very comfortable. for those of you who don't know what your message is, do you want to let everyone know why you're running for president? >> yeah. well, obviously this country's changed the history of my family. my parents came here, actually to new york in 1956 and my dad stopped going to school when he was 9 years-old because his mom died, so their whole life they kind of struggled, they worked hard. they were able to achieve what i call the american dream. you know, they were able to own a home and raise their kids. and i just want this to remain that kind of country. i want it to remain a place where people can do for their
and i'm afraid we're losing that. if you go around the country you see so many people that will tell you we're working harder than we ever worked yet we can't seem to get ahead. so that really bothers me. so we're not just going to save the american dream, i want to expand it to reach more people than ever. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] what is your tragedy going into this? because, i mean, donald trump is just leading, right, in the polls? >> who's that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's running for president. >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. and ted cruz. >> yeah. i know him. >> jimmy: yeah, you know him as well. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: jeb. you know jeb very well. >> i know him. >> jimmy: is that awkward for you, you and jeb to be debating? >> well, there's a lot of other people up there, too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i mean yeah. we've known each other for a a long time. we just happened to have, like, run for president at the same time, so, but - - [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is a weird coincidence. >> but i like jeb very much. he's my friend and will always be my friend, so. >> jimmy: how do you pronounce guacamole? >> guacamole? >> jimmy: yeah. >> guacamole. >> jimmy: oh yeah. jeb does, guacamole.
i just wanted to hear you say it the same way jeb does. >> yeah. no. >> jimmy: what is your strategy going into this? this is crucial. this time period right now. >> yeah. i mean we're working as hard -- that's why i'm on the show tonight. if you live in new hampshire or iowa, please vote for marco rubio. [ laughter and applause ] i approve this message. >> jimmy: you have to -- you approve this -- >> just in case. just in case, yeah. >> jimmy: what if you don't win those two states, is it still possible? >> oh, sure, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but we want to win. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean we want to do as well as possible so let's not talk about not winning, you know, because we're going to do real well there. feel good about it. >> jimmy: that's why you're doing all this stuff. that's why you're doing -- obviously like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: would you -- this is a -- >> i mean, i have a little bit of an impediment in new hampshire. i don't like the new england patriots. so it's hurt me a little bit because i'm a dolphi [ boo ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. there you go. >> yeah. see. i told you they were gonna boo me. >> jimmy: you you got one. hey, you did it, [ laughter ] >> jimmy: y hard for that and you got it. so this is just a fo question. say if you don't win the
being vice president? >> no. no, that's not what i'm thinking about. i either -- i want commissioner of the nfl, which is more powerful than president sometimes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you want to b commissioner i mean they have one n i'm just sayin next one comes up because -- i'm serious, that's a great you have a lot of power in that job. you can, like [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes of cou yeah. but the president is obviously -- >> no, that's >> jimmy: second is -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just, i love that >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is really fun, yeah. well, i luck. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and come back an yeah, and if that -- then, know, you can send me some jerseys or something like that. [ laughter ] >> or some boots. >> jimmy: or some boots, yeah, i love the boots. please. marcorubio, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] senator marco rubio, thanks for coming on the show. wet performs for us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] to those who deliver dinner... and get dinner delivered. to those caked in flour... coated in dust... even covered in lava. to those who are up all night...
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you are all i ever need oh baby baby
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oh baby baby baby please don't leave me leave me leave me you are all all all i ever need need need baby baby baby if you're leaving leaving leaving you would only only only take from me me me baby baby baby if you're leaving leaving leaving you would only only only take from me me me baby baby baby please don't leave me leave me leave me you are all all all
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to sarah silverman, senator marco rubio, wet once again! [ cheers
and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching, have a a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow.