tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC January 22, 2016 10:35pm-11:38pm CST
jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that makes me feel great. oh, i love you. i love you. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome everyone, to "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd here in new york. new york city. a great crowd tonight. oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. you guys look like a great friday night crowd right here
[ cheers and applause ] and if the snow gets too heavy, it might wind up being a great monday and tuesday night crowd as well. [ cheers and applause ] get comfortable. we're staying over, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] it's a slumber party. let's do it. getting cozy. thanks for being here. let's get to some news here. of course the iowa caucuses are coming up. yesterday, lindsey graham criticized donald trump and ted cruz and said choosing between them is like having choosing between being shot or poisoned. [ light laughter ] said graham is supporting jeb bush which he said is like choosing to be slowly suffocated by an expensive pillow. [ light laughter ] did you hear this? a researcher found lyrics to a a song that woody guthrie wrote over 50 years ago about donald trump's father, fred trump. i believe it was called, this land is my land and this land is my land, and this land is also my land. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this land is my land.
ppp that's right. someone found lyrics to a sound written about donald trump's father, and donald was like, big deal. pink floyd did an entire album about me called "the wall," and i made them pay for it. [ cheers and applause ] seems like we're learning more about all the candidates. in a people magazine profile on bernie sanders revealed he proposed to his wife in a a friendly's parking lot. [ laughter ] in fact, a lot of the other candidates have come pretty -- have come up with interesting stories about how they got engaged as well. take a look at these. first, donald trump said i got down on one knee and told melania, "you're hot, i'm rich. let's do this." [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's romantic. >> steve: that's romantic. >> jimmy: that's romantic. season of love. next is ted cruz. he said "funny story. first time i asked her, she actually said no. but the second time, she also said no. the third time i said it real fast. she said huh. i said, that counts." [ applause ] [ laughter ] isn't that nice?
>> jimmy: yeah. after that, hillary clinton she said of a romantic candlelit dinner, i leaned over and whispered let's merge our respective brands for the betterment of our combined political influence. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] heartwarming. >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: finally, there's chris christie. he said, "i actually asked her, will you marinate meat. [ laughter ] she misheard me, so i just went with it." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sure, let's get married. very interesting, and very romantic. >> steve: marinate meat. >> jimmy: yeah. will you marinate meat? [ light laughter ] >> steve: will you do that for me? >> jimmy: that's the best way you have it. >> steve: yeah, yeah. you got to marinate it. >> jimmy: you have to marinate it. yeah. >> steve: you got to keep it marinated. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: experts at this week's world economic forum that said in the future, cell phones will likely be tiny computer chips implanted in our brains. great, now i have to worry about leaving my brain in the couch. [ light laughter ]
it's just another problem. i have to be up. some more tech news. samsung has a new washing machine that can connect to your smartphone and send you updates about your laundry. [ light laughter ] they say it's perfect for people who are either extremely busy or have nothing else going on. [ light laughter ] [ alert ] oh, i got a text from my washing machine. [ light laughter ] it says, you up? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ alert ] my washing machine again. [ light laughter ] >> steve: what does it say? >> jimmy: new phone. [ laughter ] i connected -- i connected myself to the washing machine. >> steve: my gosh. >> jimmy: i'm the one who set it up. [ light laughter ] >> steve: rude. you're all wet. it's bad. my washing machine's ignoring me. deleting me from its contacts. a new report found for the first time ever, old music is outselling new music.
to older music, kids said our parents liking our music. [ light laughter ] you used to call me on the cellular phone you used to call me on the cellular phone hotline hotline bling anyway. turn it down a little bit. turn it down, that's better. that's better. [ light laughter ] and finally, saudi arabia's highest religious official announced that playing chess goes against the rules of islam and should be frowned upon. which is weird because if you're at a chess tournament, you're definitely going to meet 72 virgins. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was a good one. hey, guys.
our friends in flint, michigan, who are having a terrible crisis right now. they need our help, so please go to the community foundation of greater flint and donate whatever you can. people need some drinking water. thank you very much if you do that. [ cheers and applause ] guys, come back again next week. kate hudson will be here. josh brolin will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and natalie portman will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] plus, we have great music next week. we booked him. we got him. i'm so psyched about this. billy ocean will be here. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] suddenly life has new meaning to me there's beauty up above
[ grunting ] [ light laughter ] wake up suddenly you're in love [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: want to put people in the mood there. >> steve: yeah. emotion. >> jimmy: he falls asleep at the end of the song, and he actually wakes up, and suddenly, he's in love. yeah. what other jams we got? we got "caribbean queen." we've got -- when the going gets tough when the going gets tough hey hey hey hey >> jimmy: caribbean -- what am i missing?
lover >> jimmy: yeah, do we know what song he's doing yet? >> questlove: he's going to do "suddenly" and "caribbean queen." >> jimmy: oh, snap. that's it right there. come on. that's fantastic. "suddenly" and "caribbean queen?" >> quest: yeah. >> jimmy: billy ocean will be here. [ cheers and applause ] i'm so excited. and we have a very, very special performance from my girl sia. sia will be here next week. [ cheers and applause ] she is so talented man. she's insane. but first, we have a great show tonight. a fun time, we love this guy. he's a great actor. just had two huge movies out, and now he's back on broadway in "blackbird." the tony nominated jeff daniels is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he can act. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: he knows how to act. plus, she's a youtube superstar known as superwoman. if you go on -- oh, my gosh. she's funny. lilly singh is stopping by, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you know lilly singh? man she's great. she does all sorts of sketches
she plays her parents. she does a version of them. we'll show you what she does. man oh man, she makes me laugh. we're also going to play a game of fast family feud later in the show. [ cheers and applause ] then we have a band that is gigantic, and they're just going to be even bigger. i'm so psyched they're here tonight. they're fantastic. st. lucia is here tonight, guys. [ cheers and applause ] good album cover. want to hear a taste of "dancing on glass"? ready higs? >> jimmy: is that how you dance? >> steve: that's how i dance? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: when you're on glass. >> steve: right. because i don't want to cut my feet. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not broken glass. >> steve: no. it's not? >> jimmy: but you could slip. >> steve: oh, okay. >> jimmy: i think that's the
yeah, like -- it's like -- three, two, one, safety dance. [ cheers and applause ] dancing on the ceiling guys, today is friday, and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. [ cheers and applause ] i check my inbox, i return some e-mails, and i send out some thank you notes. so i was running a bit behind. [ cheers and applause ] you guys don't mind? thank you very much. i appreciate it. i have to write some thank you notes right now. james, james, james, do you have any -- do you have some thank you note writing music perfect.
that's perfect. perfect. forgot to put his tie on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: someone stole his tie. and his pocket square as well. >> steve: he won the game because of his tie. >> jimmy: pocket square is gone. yep. [ light laughter ] he's dressed like harry styles. and he's acting like nothing is going on. >> steve: the david lynch collection. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: he's cute, though. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. your mic's on. thank you, bernie sanders, for releasing a new campaign ad using the simon & garfunkel song "america" not to be confused with the song jeb bush uses at his rallies "the sound of silence." [ light laughter ] [ applause ] two different songs. >> steve: two different songs. >> jimmy: he's the one choosing them, right? >> steve: he chose that song. >> jimmy: thank you, musical cats, for returning to broadway this year.
back to broadway, but i'm going to guess it's giant laser pointers. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, people who are disappointed that the newly discovered ninth planet is just named planet 9. [ light laughter ] or as uranus put it, wanna switch? [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] better than my name. >> steve: planet 9. >> jimmy: thank you, dolly parton, for celebrating your 70th birthday on tuesday. you don't look a day over 38-24-36. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: spicy. >> jimmy: thank you, government officials, for issuing a a warning that people riding
extinguisher with them. [ light laughter ] great, now people on hoverboards are going to look so stupid. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] [ crash ] >> jimmy: thank you, vases behind glass, for being a a museum's way of saying you can probably skip this part. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] honey, want to look over here? >> steve: very sad. >> jimmy: is that a vase or a
>> steve: what is it? i don't know. >> jimmy: they use it as a a vase. protect it as a very famous vase. >> steve: what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, owls, for never asking the important questions like what, when, where, or why. [ applause ] i told you who. [ applause ] thank you, north carolina, for making it look like south carolina is wearing donald trump's hair. [ light laughter ] there you guys have it right there. [ cheers and applause ] s those are my thank you notes. jeff daniels.
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the world a president has to grapple with, sometimes you can't even imagine. that's the job. and she's prepared for it like no other. a tireless secretary of state, standing up against the abuse of women and girls. negotiating a cease-fire in gaza,
leading the diplomacy that keeps us out of war. the presidency is the toughest job in the world... and she's the one leader who has what it takes to get every part of the job done. i'm hillary clinton, and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is great, guys. our first guest is an emmy award-winning actor about to star on broadway opposite
called "the blackbird." previews begin february 5th with an 18-week limited engagement through june 12th at the belasco theater. please welcome the very, very talented friend of the show, jeff daniels. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great having you back! you're a stud. welcome back, buddy. we love you. >> i'm a stud. >> jimmy: you are a stud. >> i'm a -- >> jimmy: yeah, they know you're a stud. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm a stud. >> jimmy: you are! are you happy to be here in new york city for the big blizzard? are you excited? >> oh, my god. i just -- what poor timing. horrible timing. >> jimmy: no, this is great. you love this. >> well, i'm from michigan, so we kind of, you know, we, we -- [ scatter applause ] yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you're used to it. >> so, we gear up.
>> jimmy: right? >> i mean, you know, you have to. if you live there, like -- you know, i love the seasons. i love the changing of the seasons. >> jimmy: yeah, me too. >> that means you've gotta also love winter, which can be 20 below windchill. and you know, there are a lot of people that leave michigan in the winter. >> jimmy: they do. >> they go down to florida. they're called snow -- [ cheers ] they're called snow birds. >> jimmy: people call them snow birds. >> yeah, those of us who stay in michigan, we call them pussies. [ laughter and applause ] make a note of that. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah. >> no, but you gotta embrace it. it's a great time of year. there's snow. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like new york city's gonna get 12-plus. that's nothin'. that's nothin'. >> jimmy: it's fun, right? >> you stand around with your other michiganders, and you go, no. i like -- i like -- i like living in mi-mi-michigan.
>> jimmy: you convince yourself that it's great! >> yes! you like going to the pet store to buy expensive thermal wear for your dogs. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, that makes sense to me! >> you like going to the grocery store wearing 12 layers of clothing. >> jimmy: that's something that makes everyone look good. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: we actually got you something in case you're walking around, because of the big snow storm here. we got you a nice hat. this is the roots. >> oh! oh! [ cheers and applause ] oh! >> jimmy: that's respect. that's respect right there. yeah. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! >> jimmy: look how good you look. that's what i'm talkin' about. see? no, you don't have to -- yeah, it's fine. that says it for you. that says what's up for you. >> bring it on. >> jimmy: no, no, that's not what it means, either. it's fun and enjoying the blizzard. >> i'm gonna stand in central park tomorrow and go, i got the roots. >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] that's all i want to hear.
come on. it's the best. you know, i've been dying to ask you this -- to tell this story, because i don't think you've told it on any show before. and it's a very, very interesting story, because you know i love "saturday night live." >> i heard. >> jimmy: yeah, and i love jeff daniels. that's you. and this is a combo story, because when you host "saturday night live" sometimes you get like a face -- like a a face mask or fake nose or fake ears. >> yeah -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> i did. >> jimmy: and the process of that, to do that, well, i don't wanna ruin the story. >> well, this is before you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is like '95 or something like that. mike meyers was doing the ronnie wood sketch where he does ronnie wood talk show. i can't do it, but it's very funny. >> jimmy: that's great. >> and i had to play liam neeson in that movie he did with jodie foster. chick-a-pea, chick-a-pea. that thing. whatever that was. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. i remember that. yeah, yeah, i remember that.
mask of a mold of my face made so that they could put liam's nose, which i got a nose, but he's got a bigger nose. so, they wanted a big nose. so you go into makeup on friday night before "saturday night live." friday night, you're there, i'm there at 7:00. i just had the pre-show dinner or the rehearsal dinner that -- i had jambalaya. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> this is key, jambalaya. [ light laughter ] they put the mask on. so, it's like a quarter-inch of this white stuff, and they had two straws in my nose. and covered that -- so everything was covered except this. and so 15 minutes, it hardens up. then, off it comes. and then they make -- then the next day, there's a nose. well, they go to take it off, and it wouldn't come off. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not laughing -- >> they used the wrong stuff. >> jimmy: i'm not laughing because i'm -- >> yes, you are. >> jimmy: i'm laughing because here you are, and everything worked out. okay. [ light laughter ] >> no one was harmed in this.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did you do? >> they used the wrong stuff. they used plaster, like you would put oh, i don't know, on your wall. [ laughter ] so i've got a quarter inch of plaster, thick cement on there. i got three days of stubble. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> i got eyebrows. i got eyelashes. everything is attached. >> and -- [ muffled ] that's happening. >> jimmy: two straws. >> so, he's trying to put -- the makeup genius is trying to pull it off. [ laughter ] and it ain't coming off. and i push him away. he's going, "you have to relax. it's your -- you're the one who is causing this." [ laughter ] [ muffled ] mother[ bleep ] mother[ bleep ] >> jimmy: i can kind of understand what you said there. >> sort of. sort of. then he, you know, pulled it. now he's going to get a hammer. and he's going to go -- just hold still.
i swear to god. so i pushed him away. now, it's an hour and a half of i'm trapped inside. >> jimmy: so sorry. >> and the jambalaya is talking to me now. [ audience ohs ] the jambalaya is goin', "we want to come up. we're comin' up." >> jimmy: you're gonna throw up? >> yeah, i'm gonna throw up. i'm gonna throw up in the next 90 seconds. i'm goin', i got two -- i'm breathing out of those two orifices. where's it gonna go? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where can i throw it? >> where's it gonna go? i talked myself out of throwing up, which is not easy to do. then, finally, i was able to pull it. i literally plucked my own eyebrows. there was nothing here. bald as a baby's butt. just -- you can see, there's a little something. oh, good. nice and tight. [ laughter ] yeah.
it didn't grow back. so anyway, so pulled that off. now the eyelashes are attached. he's gonna yank it. [ muffled ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> he yanks it. they were able to -- then lorne comes in, concerned. lorne comes in, "says i know a a surgeon at a party." and he pulls a guy over out of a party in new york city. and the guy shows up with his bag. pulls out an x-acto knife, and says, "hold the chair and do not move because i'm going to cut your eyelashes. i'm going to put it down and cut your eyelashes, but if you move, i'll cut your eyeball or eyelid." >> jimmy: jambalaya. jambalaya. jambalaya. >> jambalaya. jambalaya. now we're here. wire cutters. now we're here. now we're santa claus with a a white plaster beard and three days of stubble. which meant 25 shots of novocain. boom. boom. boom. boom.
by 1:00 in the morning, this took six hours. by 1:00 in the morning, i was ready to go and do "snl." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: acting! it's the business. [ cheers and applause ] you are a trouper for that. you're a trouper for that. it's a legendary story. and we all respect you for that. we all love you for that. i'm gonna come see you on broadway. i'm not gonna tell you what night. 'cause i just wanna come check you out. but here you are. you're in this play with michelle williams. now, this is -- the play opens march 10th. i know you're just doing previews right now. what is the play about? it's a dramatic play, right? >> it's a tough, tough drama. it's a mystery. there's a secret between these two people that happened years ago. it's a horrible, horrible thing that he did with her. and she's confronting him. and for those who like drama, who -- from page one we come in and we grab the audience and
i've never done a play this tough and this challenging and this honest to god dramatic from beginning to end. and then it's got an ending that just you don't see coming. we did it off-broadway, i did it with alison pill, 2007. and it just killed. so i'm glad to do it on broadway with michelle. >> jimmy: i cannot wait to see you. and thank you so much for coming by our show again. we love you so much. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: jeff daniels, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] go see him on broadway in "blackbird," previews begin february 5th. we'll be right back with lilly singh, everybody. stick around. fortifying the gravity-defying... adventure-collecting... friend-connector... fortifying the going-places... off-to-the-races... day-seizing... you. you're strong. and we're here to help you stay that way.
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the republicans from ripping all our progress away. so on february first, stand up for hillary. because if you want a president who knows how to keep america safe... and build a stronger economy... hillary's the choice... i'm listening to you, i'm fighting for you, and with your support, i'm going to deliver. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the star and creator of one of the most popular channels on youtube, where she's known as, "superwoman."
documentary about her world tour called "a trip to unicorn island," which will be available exclusively on youtube red in early february. please welcome lilly singh, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like that. i like that. come on. >> i try.
>> jimmy: i'm so happy to meet you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming on the show. >> thanks for having me. i'm excited. >> jimmy: oh, please, please, please. i want to give people an idea, if they don't know you, how giant you are on youtube. 7.6 million subscribers. over one billion views. one billion. [ cheers and applause ] you were named in "forbes" "30 under 30." and you just did a worldwide tour of 27 cities and 31 shows. >> mm-hmm.
>> thank you so much. thank you. >> jimmy: well done, and yeah, you deserve everything that's coming to you. i want to get into it. i want to talk about everything, because i watch your videos. you doing your parents. are your parents like anything that your character is doing or no? >> you're gonne get me in trouble, here. i'm supposed to say no. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, yeah. pretty good. i do that. >> my parents are like, "don't." but they're actually -- the elements of them are true, but they're very exaggerated. my parents are super cool. >> jimmy: does your dad, like -- does he swish his hair back and go, "hello?" >> my dad doesn't do that, but a lot of lines are directly taken from my dad. so my dad has this line called, "old is gold, but i am platinum." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "old is gold, but i am platinum." >> so, i put that in my video, and he's always asking about royalties, because he thinks i owe him money now for my videos. [ laughter ] i mean, elements are true. >> jimmy: he's got to be so proud, right? proud of you? >> i mean, now, yes. now that i'm on the jimmy fallon show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, please. she's a star. that character, i love that.
your mom is very traditional. i just saw one where it's your parents, you as your parents, watching the justin bieber video. and man, oh, man. it's so funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: she's like, "oh, no, no, no." >> yeah. >> jimmy: "oh, no, no, no, no." [ laughter ] >> the character is strict. my mom in real life is actually super cool. she knows all of drake's lyrics. [ laughter ] she actually is the one who recently taught me that the weeknd song is about drugs. [ laughter ] i didn't know that. she's like, "you know that song is about drugs, right?" i'm like, "mom?" [ laughter ] she's super with the times. >> jimmy: even down -- i don't know if you realize, but your fingers are different when you do your mom's character. >> yes, everything about me changes. i don't know what -- as soon as i put -- all i have to do is draw a beard on my face, and i'm like a different person. [ laughter ] that's all it takes. >> jimmy: you think? yeah. your parents -- did they know you were doing characters, that you were doing, kind of, them? >> oh, no. i didn't tell them i started making videos. i don't have a death wish going on. so, they actually found out when one of my relatives from vancouver called and was like, "is your daughter on the internet?" they're like, "one second.
[ laughter ] so they found out like that. >> jimmy: really? why did you start making the videos? just for fun? >> you know, it was 2010 when i posted my first video. so five or six years ago. and the honest answer was i was a really sad person. i was sad, and i thought if i could make other people laugh through videos, i could make myself laugh. >> jimmy: is that right? oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: very honest. very honest to say that. are you happy right now? >> i am so genuinely happy. actually -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: that's good to hear. >> that's what the tour and movie was all about, "a trip to unicorn island." unicorn island is a synonym for my happy place, because i'm a a very mature adult, as you can see. unicorn island is a synonym for my happy place, and that's what the movie and tour was all about. >> jimmy: so, it's a happy place. unicorn island. everything that makes you happy. what makes you happy? >> so everyone has their own unicorn island. i do, you do, everyone else here does. mine has, like, skittles and popcorn.
is shirtless. [ cheers ] ryan gosling, you know. yours might look different. >> jimmy: no, it's a similar list, yeah. we're pretty close to the same, yeah. >> exactly. >> jimmy: that's super fun. this documentary is you going around to all these different places and making people happy. >> yeah, i mean, it kind of has two stories. one is, like i said, sad person deciding to be happy and spreading that message with the world. for people who have no idea of who i am and have never seen my videos, it's the story of how the heck am i going on a world tour. like, i know nothing about this. i have a psychology degree. what am i even doing? so, it was a really cool story. >> jimmy: did you have the most fun? what was the cities that you were like, "i had the greatest time just now." >> i mean, we truly went around the world. like, india, australia, singapore -- >> jimmy: really? >> hong kong, dubai. yeah. dubai was -- i had a lot of interesting experiences in dubai. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, we tried to get into a a club one day, and one of my under-aged dancers couldn't get in, so someone literally called the prince of dubai to get him into this club. [ light laughter ]
called the prince of dubai. and he was like, "this is frustrating for many reasons, because now this is setting my expectations for every other guy that asks me out, doesn't call the prince. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "hello, just call the prince and get me in, man. >> "if you're not calling the prince, what are you doing really? >> jimmy: "hello, what are you doing, buddy?" absolutely. >> exactly. >> jimmy: no way. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: how fun is that? i didn't even know you could just call the prince of dubai. >> yeah, apparently, again, you can. >> jimmy: yeah, i want to show everyone a clip of this. "a trip to unicorn island." it's on youtube red. here's lilly singh. >> do not let anyone, including yourself, let you believe for even a second that you don't deserve to be so happy, because you all deserve to be so, so happy. [ cheers ] so stop everything. you know i got to do this right now, right? [ cheers ] you know i got to do this right now. superwoman in so-cal, check 'em out. [ cheers ] [ inaudible ] check 'em out. [ cheers ] i'm in bangor, check 'em out. manchester, check 'em out.
hong kong. i'm home in toronto. check 'em out! [ cheers ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we all want to go to uniforn island. you're awesome, pal. come back. i'm a big fan. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much. stick around. lilly and i -- hey, before you go, can we play a game? >> i love games. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: lilly and i are going to play "fast family feud" after the break. it's gonna be good.
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its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay... guys, i'll be writing a new language for machines so planes, trains, even hospitals can work better. oh! sorry, i was trying to put it away... got it on the cake. so you're going to work on a train? not on a train...on "trains"! you're not gonna develop
stuff anymore? no i am...
hmm hmm hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm-hmm let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together [ cheering ] i've got some real estate here in my bag
counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike they've all come to look for america [ cheers and applause ] all come to look for america all come to look for america all come to look for america
(donkey noise) (elephant noise) (mic screech) there's a big difference between making noise... (mic tap) ...and making sense. (elephant noise) (donkey noise) when it comes to social security, we need more than lip service. our next president needs a real plan to keep social security strong. (elephant noise) hey candidates! enough talk.
give us a plan. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we're hanging out with lilly singh, everybody, right here! [ cheers and applause ] and we're gonna play a game that's just like "family feud," only faster. it's time for "fast family feud." here we go. fast family feud fast family feud [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:you ready? >> i'm ready, i'm ready.
not the game, like, real-life situations every day. >> jimmy: you really? >> yes, "family feud." like, i'm ready for this. >> jimmy: you're ready. everyone knows the rules of "family feud," right? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: i don't have to explain it, right? okay. let's -- [ buzzer ] no, no. you can't buzz in already. >> i was testing, testing. >> jimmy: is that the first time you hit a buzzer? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's pretty good, right? [ buzzer ] don't you just want to do that? it's the greatest thing ever. okay, here we go. we'll go to the next one. the next one. all right. okay, everybody. okay, we surveyed our audience, and the top three answers are on the board. let's hear the first question. >> name an animal that begins with the letter "f." [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: ferret. [ buzzer ] [ ding ] no one in the audience said ferret? >> i know this is incorrect, but i feel like people are going to say frog. [ buzzer ] [ dings ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wait. say it again? >> the next question. >> jimmy: we'll start with the next question. so we never had this question. [ laughter ]
okay. >> all right. >> jimmy: you beat me on that one. >> all right. >> jimmy: frog, okay. okay, here we go. the next question. >> name the best valentine's day gift you can receive. [ buzzer ] >> chocolate. [ dings ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: all right! of course it's chocolate. now, do you even like chocolate? >> i'm just saying that i am so brutally, like, single right now. i don't know how i got that. [ laughter ] i have massive commitment issues. that was just a guess. that was a guess. >> jimmy: chocolate, yeah. what is number two? flowers? [ dings ] [ dings ] well -- >> who gets a vacation for valentine's day? >> jimmy: i have very rich audience members. [ laughter ] "honey, i got you a vacation." that is a good present. >> prince of dubai. >> jimmy: "prince of dubai, hooked me up." yeah, absolutely. here we go. this is how fa feud" is. it's okay? this is for all the marbles. here we go. let's hear t >> name the [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: shave. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] why would i say shave? >> checking your phone. [ dings ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! you are like a genius. oh, i love her right there. lilly singh is the winner, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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you should be able to get ahead and stay ahead. but so many families don't feel like their hard work pays off. that's not the way america is supposed to operate. i want to go to bat for them every single day. get incomes rising... get equal pay for women... cut the cost of health care and child care so people can actually get ahead. hillary clinton, she has what it takes to get things done.
us so the blood in our veins are just chemicals better believe i keep my demons to myself better believe it's getting harder but i'm never gonna stop until it's broken never gonna stop until it's broken how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it dancing on glass dancing on glass we all have our secrets
our violence mistaken for silence, oh better believe i keep my reasons to myself better believe it's never been easier and never gonna stop until it's broken never gonna stop until it's broken how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it dancing on glass dancing on glass
dancing on glass how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it how long 'til we learn dancing is dangerous how long 'til we find the devil inside of us how high is too low we're not that young so we're never gonna stop never gonna stop never gonna stop until we break it dancing on glass
[ cheers and applause ] the world a president has to grapple with, sometimes you can't even imagine. that's the job. and she's prepared for it like no other. a tireless secretary of state, standing up against the abuse of women and girls. negotiating a cease-fire in gaza, leading the diplomacy that keeps us out of war. the presidency is the toughest job in the world... and she's the one leader who has what it takes to get every part of the job done.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jeff daniels, lilly singh, st. lucia. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. bye-bye. thank you.
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- rashida jones. from "kocktails with khloe," khloe kardashian. star of "crazy ex-girlfriend," golden globe-winner, rachel bloom. featuring g e 8g band with glenn kotchie. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doin' tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well, isn't that wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. earlier tonight, there was another republican debate, and this morning, the oscar nominations were announced. here are the nominees. "the big short." "bridge of spies." "the revenant." "the martian" and "mad max fury road." [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]