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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  October 10, 2016 11:37pm-12:37am CDT

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?? >> announcer: from the warner theater in washington d.c., it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- sarah silverman, host of cnn's "the lead" jake tapper, a closer look at last night's presidential debate, featuring the 8g band with thaddeus dixon, corey glover and vernon reid. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." we're in washington dc! [ cheers and applause ] give it up, washington! we're so honored and excited to be here for the week. and now that we're here, let's get to the news. what a great time to be in washington. the nationals won yesterday.
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the redskins won yesterday. [ cheers and applause ] and the orange-skin lost. [ cheers and applause ] after a video surfaced of donald trump and billy bush making lewd sexual comments about women, nbc announced bush would be suspended from "the today show," indefinitely. bush could not be grabbed for comment. [ audience groans ] donald trump last night wrote off his past controversial remarks about women as, "locker room talk." i don't want to be a fat-shamer, but that does not look like a dude who has spent much time in locker rooms. [ laughter ] unless, i don't know, does kfc have a locker room? [ laughter ] trump campaign manager, kellyanne conway said this morning that "last night's debate was a good night for democracy." but, i think what she really meant was "good night, democracy."
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the debate!" no democracy just go to bed, it'll give you nightmares. you don't want to see this, democracy. [ laughter ] after hearing donald trumps' lewd comments about women, vice presidential nominee mike pence canceled a campaign event in new jersey today even worse, he forgot to tell chris christie. [ laughter and applause ] during last night's debate, donald trump of being hateful and racist before adding "oh my god, he's right behind me, isn't he?" [ laughter ] melania trump reportedly refused to participate in a joint tv appearance with donald trump this weekend following his comments about women. but it's only because she is busy re-reading all 6,000 pages of her prenup. [ laughter ]
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night, that he and running mate mike pence have not spoken about their key points of their policy plans and furthermore he thought that pence was a very biased moderator. [ laughter and applause ] "those fancy glasses don't fool me, pence, i know that's you." [ laughter ] and finally foxx news's geraldo rivera said this weekend, that he has additional embarrassing tapes of donald trump, and if geraldo thinks they're embarrassing, you [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we got a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] she is one of the stars of showtime's "masters of sex." she is a good friend of the show and a good friend of mine, sarah silverman is here. [ cheers and applause ] the very funny, sarah silverman. he is the host of cnn's "the lead" with jake tapper and he has been doing incredible work this election season, jake tapper is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ]
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you know the last time i was in washington d.c. doing a show was at the 2011 white house correspondents dinner. and at the time, donald trump was making a lot of noise about the fact that he did not think that president barack obama was born in this country. and because of that it seemed only fair that we would make some jokes about donald trump, but at least he was a really good sport about them, let's take a look. >> seth: donald trump has been saying he will run for president as a republican. which is surprising, since i just assumed he wa [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] donald trump often appears on fox which is ironic because a fox often appears on donald trump's head. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] donald trump said recently he has a great relationship with "the blacks." though, unless the blacks are a
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i thought it was over, and yet now here we are five years later! five years later we're back in dc, and donald trump is still the story. [ laughter ] and it looks like this week will forever be remembered as the one when the trump train collided head on with the "access hollywood" bus, resulting in severe injuries to one major political party. the most recent week of horrors for donald trump was capped off last night by the second presidential debate, for more on this it's time for "a closer look." ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: going into this debate, the trump campaign was in crisis, precipitated in large part of course, by this footage that by now you probably know better than your 5-year-old knows "frozen." >> i moved on her actually. you know, she was down in palm beach.
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>> whoa! >> i did try and [ bleep ] her. i moved on her like a bitch. i couldn't get there and she was married. you know, i'm automatically attracted to beautiful -- i just start kissing them, it's like a magnet, you just kiss. i don't even wait. and when you're a star, they let you do it. you can do anything. >> whatever you want. >> grab them by the [ bleep ]. you can do anything. >> seth: cool, cool. [ laughter ] so a man who is this close to the highest office in the land now occupies the lowest office in the land, the pervert on the bus. even the act of departing the bus managed to be embarrassing for trump. >> it's always good if you don't fall out of the bus. like ford, gerald ford, remember? [ knocking ] >> down below. pull the handle. >> seth: sorry, what's more pathetic, a major party nominee that talks about women like that, or one who thinks you get out of a bus by knocking on the glass? [ laughter and applause ]
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is the man to defeat isis, as long as isis isn't on the other side of a door. [ laughter ] and by the way, let's not forget that donald trump isn't the only one being disgusting on this tape, there is also billy bush who somehow passed jeb as worst performing bush in 2016. [ laughter ] poor jeb, he must be sitting somewhere thinking, "i can't win anything." [ laughter ] and once they got off the bus, billy bush somehow managed to add a layer of nacho sleaze to >> are you ready to be a soap star? >> we're ready, let's go. make me a soap star. >> how about a little hug for donald, he just got off the bus. >> would you like a little hug, darling? >> okay, absolutely, melania said this is okay. >> how 'bout a little hug for the bushy? i just got off the bus. >> bushy, bushy. >> here we go. >> seth: they're so entitled, they think they deserve hugs for getting off of a bus. "and it wasn't easy. you couldn't just knock on the glass, trust me, i tried. [ laughter ] now it should be noted, nbc suspended billy bush from "the
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which means there is currently a higher standard for host of the third hour of "the today show" than there is for republican nominee for president. [ laughter and applause ] now, the release of this tape threw the trump campaign into chaos and after 15 months of tolerating explicit misogyny, bigotry, calls to violence, erratic behavior, and overt racism from trump. somehow some republicans decided this was the final straw. many withdrew their endorsements while others, like house speaker paul ryan tried to distance themselves without fully renouncing trump. >> paul ryan, the house speaker, saying he is done defending donald trump saying that on a conference call with republican members just now. >> what is distinct about this is that paul ryan is not publicly withdrawing his endorsement. >> seth: so, he won't defend him but he still endorses him. paul ryan is so spineless, at this point they now carry him to
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[ laughter ] and he has company. he is not alone, so -- [ laughter and applause ] in fact, instead of reckoning with trumps' misogyny, his supports have been trotting out the lamest excuses possible like his former campaign manager and current frowny-face emoji, corey lewindowski who said this. >> i think the american people know exactly who donald trump is, he's a person. and what has been such an attraction to donald trump is that he is not a career politician, he doesn't measure every word. speaks the way many people talk around their dining room table. >> seth: yeah, that's right. he was talking to billy bush the way other people talk around the dining room table, "honey, this meatloaf is fantastic, i'm going to move on it like a bitch." [ laughter and applause ] even seemingly basic facts were contested by trump supporters. a phenomena cnn analyst kirstin powers encountered first hand when she tweeted quote, "i think grabbing a woman's vagina is assault."
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you a pass. not this time. the vagina is internal, check an anatomy book it cannot be grabbed. [ laughter ] but of course powers had the final say when she responded. quote, "i know where my vagina is." [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] as opposed to donald trump who thinks vagina is a swing state. "they love me in vagina. [ laughter ] you know, they love me even more in west vagina. i'm doing great -- [ laughter ] i'm doing great in both the vaginas." [ laughter ] so as expected, the tape was the first order of business at last night's debate and when he was asked about it, trump tried to make the case, that it was idle talk. using one phrase in particular over and over. >> you bragged that you have sexually assaulted women, do you understand that? >> no, i didn't say that at all. i don't think you understood what was said. this w lasocker room talk. yes, i'm very embarrassed by it, i hate it, but it's locker room talk.
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>> first of all, no it's not. that is not the way men in locker rooms talk. second of all, this is the problem, trump treats the entire world like the inside of a men's locker room. and you just know he is the locker room type who towel dries his hair while he's buck-naked with one leg up on the bench so everyone has to avert their eyes to avoid looking at his saggy ball sack. [ laughter and applause ] of course, trump didn't stop at casually dismissing the charges against him. ls overreached. >> i have great respect for women, nobody has more respect for women than i do. >> seth: and that great respect for women was on full display, in the way trump lurked behind hillary clinton on the debate stage every time she answered a question. >> every american feels like he or she has a place in our trcouny. [ laughter ] who have real life experience. [ laughter ] who have not just been in a big law firm, and maybe clerk for a judge. [ laughter ] we'd just turn it back to the insurance companies and the way it should be.
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swap that the obamacare approach to take. like i say, 20 million people now have health insurance. >> seth: "okay, now, i know you're upset but you have to understand that wasn't lurking, that was just a locker room walk." [ laughter ] "you know, when you're a man in a woman's locker room and you have to stand behind a woman so she can't see you?" [ laughter ] "and then when she turns, you turn, always staying out of her field of vision. it's a locker room walk, all guys do it." [ laughter ] now you might say, "trump would never go into a woman's locker room." fair, but he would go backstage at a miss universe contest while the contestants were changing. >> i'll tell you the funniest, is that i'll go backstage before a show. >> yes. >> and everyone is getting dressed and ready and everything else. and you know, no men are anywhere. and i'm allowed to go in because i'm the owner of the pageant and therefore i'm, "inspecting it," you know? >> right, right. >> i'm inspecting and i want to make sure everything is good. >> you're like a doctor, you're there -- >> "is everyone okay?" you know, they're standing there with no clothes, "is everybody okay?" and you see these incredible looking women, so i sort of get away with things like that. >> seth: yeah. we should give him more power.
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already shocking revelations, trump managed to out-do himself last night with an even more dangerous statement. becoming the first presidential candidate to promise that if he's elected, he will throw his opponent in jail. >> i'll tell you what. i didn't think i'd say this, but i'm going to say it. and i hate to say it, but if i win, i am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation. >> it's just awfully good that someone with the temperament of donald trump is not in charge of the law in our country. >> because you'd be in jail. >> seth: says the pervert on the bus. [ laughter ] so trump finally revealed his inner dictator, which probably shouldn't come as a surprise given that he has repeatedly praised other dictators who jail political opponents. >> i think i would have a very, very good relationship with putin. he is really very much of a leader, the man has very strong corol over a country. >> saddam hussein killed terrorists.
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he would kill them immediately. he didn't do it politically correct. he found a terrorist, they were gone within five secdson, okay? >> if you look at north korea, this guy, this main -- i mean, he is like a maniac, okay? and you gotta give him credit. how many young guys, he was like 26 or 25 when his father died, take over these tough generals. and all of a sudden -- it's pretty amazing when you think about it. how does he do that? >> seth: seriously, how can we be surprised by anything from a man who put these two sentences back to back. and you gotta give him credit. >> seth: it's not even "but!" it's not even "but you have to give him credit!" [ laughter ] fortunately none of this seems to be working on voters. the majority of whom thought hillary clinton won the debate according to post- debate polls. a fact trump's campaign manager kellyanne conway disagreed with in a way i thought was telling. >> who won the debate? 57% said hillary clinton won the debate, 34% said donald trump won the debate. that is the results of our cnn
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debate, but thank you. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's right, you were watching a deferent debate from a different reality. [ laughter ] maybe that alternate reality is the same one trumpas w inhabiting when he thought it was totally normal to just start walking off the stage when hillary was giving an [ laughter ] where is he is going? what's back there? the ash-heap of history? [ laughter ] does he think there are naked women behind every stage? this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with more "late night" from washington dc.! [ cheers and applause ] ?? i'll have that goat cheese garden salad. that gentleman got the last one. sir, you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie
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?? [ cheers and applause ] seth: welcome back, everybody. and please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also we're very excited this week, we've got some incredible musicians joining our band from the ground-breaking grammy award-winning rock band living colour, he's simply an incredible vocalist, corey glover everybody. [ cheers and applause ] also, from living colour he's an innovative guitar hero, vernon reid everybody right there. [ cheers and applause ] be sure to check out the latest ep from living colour,"who shot
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the band next year, and also joining us on drums he's playing with some of the biggest acts in music, and is currently holding it down with bryson tiller, thaddeus dixon is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thaddeus has a new song out "all about you" featuring timothy bloom and talib kweli. thank you guys so much for being here. it's going to be an amazing week having you. [ cheers and applause ] this, you guys, this, next thing, is very exciting. i believe what you're about to see is the first example in being done. the obama's were nice enough to let us, because we are here in washington d.c., put a go pro camera on their portuguese water dog, bo. [ laughter ] we're calling it "the first dog cam", and we are so excited to have bo give us a behind the scenes, and under the table glimpse at the goings on, around 1600 pennsylvania avenue. please take a look. ??
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>> oh, hey look at this, looks like we've got a visitor. [ aws ] >> uh, marty, watch out he's coming for your french dip. >> i think you're right, look at that. you want this? you can't have my french dip boy, you know why? this is people food, okay? all right. oh, man, oh. mmm. >> it looks good. >> oh, come on, that is nice. [ laughter ] >> yeah, no i can't have it. >> that's the thing. >> i'm shocked it's going to go through. >> oh, i know. >> i can't believe it's gonna pass. [ talking over each other ] [ laughter ] [ barks ] >> hey, bo, what is it?
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[ laughter ] [ barks ] >> oh, bo is back, guys, we're trying to work here, can you take the dog some place else? [ barks ] you getting high on the job, pal? >> that's not mine. >> yeah, sure it's not. >> no, i'm serious. >> you are done here, let's go. >> what? that is not mine, guys, you know, >> that's enough! >> bo? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> oh! hey there, bo, how you doing, boy? [ barks ] [ dog whines ] >> sorry, pal, can't let you out today, they're spraying the lawn. [ barks ] sorry, boy, can't do it, i'll take you out for a long walk later on, okay?
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>> crazy game last night. >> word, i'm glad i stayed up for it. >> tell me about it. >> hey, bo, wait, what is it, boy? [ barking ] >> we should check this out. [ barking ] >> what? what is it now friend? >> wait, what's that? [ growling ] a headless barbie doll. >> i've never seen that before in my life. >> frank, isn't this what the serial killer's been leaving at all the crime scenes? >> the barbie doll killer! >> what? >> you twisted son of a bitch. >> what are you talking about? hey, get off of me, what is this? bo, help! bo. the dog did it! >> oh, tell it to the judge you sick freak. >> no, no, it was the dog. bo, why?
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>> today, i stand in front of you humbled by the sacrifices that, oh, hey there, bo! sorry boo-boo, daddy's busy. [ growls ] [ laughter ] [ barks ] >> reminds me of this one time michelle was eating a pulled pork sandwich, uh, oh hey, bo, what do you got there? okay, we'll just put this away and let's play ball. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you so much, the
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right back with our friend, sarah silverman, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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?? >> the lincoln memorial. located on the western end of the national mall, the lincoln memorial is a fitting tribute to the life and times of abraham lincoln. but did you know that the sculpture inside also serves as a perfect likeness of our 16th president. who was a massive 36 foot tall, marble man with an 860 pound head? [ laughter ] though many credit lincoln's astute political acumen, and his gifts of oratory for ending slavery. most people believe it was because he was a horrifying marble man, who lumbered through the south during the civil war. the earth, shaking under foot as he stomped members of the confederacy to death. [ laughter ] sometimes if he was really angry, he would eat them.
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>> seth: our first guest tonight is a two-time emmy award-winning writer, comedian, and actress. she's currently in the middle of a nationwide stand-up tour, and you can see her on the series "masters of sex" which airs sunday nights on showtime. please welcome back to the show, our friend sarah silverman. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you have to, you have to promise to come back and do the show in new york within that tiny little studio, now that you've been here in this giant theater. >> i know, now i'm spoiled. >> seth: yeah, this is a spoiling night for my guests. >> 'tis. >> seth: uh, 'tis. but you've, you've played some big rooms this year. you were at the first night of the democratic national convention. how was that? >> oh, yes. one of those. >> seth: and you, it was a night that sort of set the tone, and you were on stage with senator al franken, and what exactly happened? how would you explain what
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>> um, you mean, that when i said, "you're so ridiculous?" >> seth: you were speaking to bernie supporters, yes? >> there's kind of nothing worse than accidentally creating your own awful catch phrase that will haunt you for several months after. i have people coming up to me, "hey, am i being ridiculous?" and you're like, "kind of?" [ laughter ] it certainly was not anything planned. they told me, >> seth: because you ended up on stage, first of all, explain this. because, what do you, you seem like you're posing. [ laughter ] there because what happened was, i had a two minute speech. they said you have to keep it tight. keep to two minutes, you know? and i finished my two minute speech and then we're supposed to introduce paul simon. and something, they were having trouble setting up his band or something. and i look over and the stage manager is literally going, "stretch!" like we're in the catskills or something.
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uh, i had so much i wanted to say but now i'm sitting here and i'm supposed to stretch. and after awhile i just go, screw it. i'm just going to look as hot as i can for still photos. [ laughter ] which i did. >> seth: also, with all due respect to the senator, nothing really ups somebody's hotness than standing next to al franken. [ laughter ] >> yeah, it's, it's kind of like when you put a number two pencil next to something for size. >> seth: yeah. >> no, he's very handsome and i love him very much. >> seth: so, you've been in 'cause we actually, you and i, we saw each other in 2008, in denver, the democratic convention. but i did not remember this, but here's a photo of you talking to al gore and can you explain why you're making that -- >> i can explain that. >> seth: okay. great. >> i can. >> seth: because that's very intense. >> i flew there from new york. always had my backpack and forgot that i had, the night
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pot guys at ucb. >> seth: gotcha, so you know they're good. >> they're great. a half is more than enough. >> seth: so how much did you have. >> i ate a half. >> seth: okay, great. >> and just as it hit me, and you know, before it hits you, i don't know if you know this, [ laughter ] but uh, before it hits you is always when you go like, "i don't really feel anything?" [ laughter ] i think whatever triggers that is what, it's always followed by, "oh, no!" [ laughter and applause ] and then, and then i look up and they go, "sarah, you know al franken." >> seth: oh, al gore? >> oh, sorry yeah. [ laughter ] i do know al franken. >> seth: wait, did you, did you take one now? [ laughter ] >> so, uh, it's just hitting me. i don't feel it. oh. i've never held up the card for the camera. >> seth: yeah, it's fun right? >> this is fun. >> seth: you've got to angle it that way. there you go.
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it kind of looks like maybe i'm saying like, "rawr, i'm going to eat you!" or, "i'm a monster!" but, he took it with aplomb. >> seth: i think in a weird way, you're probably lucky he wasn't the president, because it feels like secret service could really maul you for what you're doing right there. [ laughter ] >> i know, my hands get really, really -- >> seth: really aggressive. >> all my passion is in my hands. i don't know where that shirt is. i loved that shirt. >> seth: that's a great shirt. also, you know, people may not, you know who that little dude is? >> bradley cooper. >> seth: that's bradley cooper! i've been holding up >> that is true. >> seth: yeah, there you go. >> yeah. >> seth: this is uh, this photo is worth a ton. [ laughter ] um, you're going to stick around, we're going to talk more, right? >> -- yeah. >> seth: all right. >> sleeping over. >> seth: we'll be right back with sarah silverman after this. ?? [ cheers and applause ] initiating retrieval sequence.
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?? [ applause ] >> seth: we're back here with sarah silverman everybody. and you were active on twitter but you are not the only silverman. your father tweets. >> yes he does. >> seth: your father donald silverman has a twitter account. >> @rantsfromboca. >> seth: @rantsfromboca. so he lives in boca and he rants about it. >> he hates rich people. do you want to read that one for us? >> boca jewelry rule, if it shines, it's mine. [ laughter ] i don't get -- >> seth: i don't really, yeah. >> i don't know if i get that but he doesn't -- he hasn't figured out having a comedic angle. >> seth: gotcha, here's this one too. >> family, it's all about family except in boca where families fight about money. then it's all about the money, idiots. [ laughter ] >> seth: this one i like though -- because i feel like this is for today's political climate.
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>> i'll do it in his accent -- a muslim, a jew, and a christian walk into a coffee shop. no, i'm not good at accents though. that's really not his accent. [ laughter ] coffee? anyway, "a muslim a jew and a christian walk into a coffee shop and talk, laugh, drink coffee as good friends. it's what happens when you're not an ass [ bleep ]." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: there you go. i think that's very, very good messaging. >> he doesn't really craft it. he doesn't really like know how to have an angle that has like t but -- >> seth: right, but it must be strange for him. because he has had a daughter who has been in comedy for a long time and is very accomplished in it. does he ever pitch you jokes? >> he -- you know, i loved jokes and he would send me to camp, sleep away camp, which was terrible for me, because i was a bed wetter. but he would send me with joke books because he knew i loved jokes. but i was an 8-year-old kid with "truly tasteless jokes" one and two. he did --
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when i was like 8. this joke, which i didn't understand until about two weeks ago. [ laughter ] how to get rid of crabs. >> seth: how do you get rid of crabs? >> yeah, and by the way, nobody -- do people have crabs anymore? >> seth: i don't know. >> i think -- >> seth: it's a hard thing to ask because -- >> people don't have pubes anymore. >> seth: right that's the issue. >> that's what it is. >> seth: it's also impossible to test. because, if you say "hey give it up if you've got crabs!" >> who has crabs! >> seth: nobody, nobody would make noise. we don't know if that's accurate. hear about crabs. anyway, back then -- >> seth: it was an issue. >> people had bushes in full bloom. >> seth: yeah. >> and crabs were maybe more rampant. >> seth: a brazilian rain forest of pubic hair. >> so i just remember that his story of how to get rid of crabs, you go to the movies and you put -- oh i talked into my mic. >> seth: yeah. >> you go to the movies and you put popcorn on your pubes and then when the crabs go to get a
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which i do think is very funny actually. >> seth: it's good. but also it like takes you awhile. like in your case it took years to get it. you have to sit on it -- >> yeah, i was at a red light like two weeks ago. oh! it's a venereal thing. >> seth: and you mentioned camp. your dad, this i a true story your dad is still friends with all of his camp friends. >> this is just a true story. my dad grew up, he sent me to summer camp as a bed wetter that sounds like torture. it's because that was his joy, camp you know. and he went to the same summer camp samoset for many years and then became a counselor and you think, you think of counselors as older because they were older when you when to camp. they're 16-year-old kids, you know, so he's this kid, and he's in charge of filling out a form for each kid every week, you know, are they getting sleep, are they brushing their teeth? are they going to the bathroom and then under that it says l/h
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>> right, but he, it was under bathroom, he didn't know what l/h meant and he was afraid to ask so he assumed it meant loose or hard. [ laughter ] and that he was to circle one. [ laughter ] so he would have his campers come get him before they flushed the toilet. so he could inspect thei and i just love it because there's probably just a generation of older men in therapy going well, i did have a camp counselor when i was young who was like obsessed with my [ bleep ]. "you were abused." >> seth: well, he sounds like a wonderful guy. [ laughter ] >> he's a great guy. >> seth: he's a great guy. you're a great person. thank you so much for being here. what a great way to kick off our washington d.c. week with you here. everybody, give it up for sarah silverman!
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handsome michael sheen. the very handsome michael sheen. we'll be right back with jake tapper. ??
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>> "late night with seth meyers" in washington d.c. check out more election stories by adding the nbc news "red white and you" flash briefing on your amazon echo. and then, ask for the news. ?? >> seth: welcome back to "late night" everybody, out next guest is cnn's chief washington correspondent. he hosts "the lead" weekday afternoons as well as the network sunday show "state of the union." please welcome back to the show, our friend, jake tapper. ??
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>> seth: welcome! >> alright! >> seth: i want to start by complimenting you. i think you have done a fantastic job during this campaign. i feel like you try very hard to keep both candidates and their surrogates in line and it seems like this is maybe harder than ever to do that. >> my hair is a lot greyer. >> seth: yeah. >> than it was when we met. >> seth: and you started having to do something with your show which ou because of the things that are said on this campaign. >> i did it today. i felt like i was going to be quoting the republican nominee from the tape. >> seth: yeah. >> and, you know my kids sometimes watch the show. it's on at 4:00 p.m. eastern. >> seth: yeah. >> and, you know, i said viewer discretion advised. parental advisory we're going to be talking about the election. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so watch out. >> seth: and so you haven't -- obviously you are careful with your own children as far as how
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>> oh, it's brutal. i mean, first of all, i have a little boy. you're going to see this one when your boy starts growing. but i have a little boy. he's 7. boys are -- i have a girl and a boy -- boys are apes. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i mean, they are a different species really. >> seth: uh huh. >> and there are certain behaviors that boys exhibit. i don't want to sound sexist but girls are better. >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> and anyway, i don't want him to learn any bad lessons. >> seth: yeah. >> and he already walks around the house calling people, "stupid." and i come down in the morning, "here comes fat daddy." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. so you don't want him to learn new vocabulary. >> no, exactly. >> seth: but, you actually, there was some vocabulary about you. there is this trove of new leaked clinton emails, wikileaks has released them, and you were mentioned -- this is very exciting. you were mentioned by name by
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yes? >> it's quite an honor. >> seth: and let's take a look realy quick at what he said about you. [ laughter ] >> first of all not the first time that's been asked. >> seth: yeah, why is jake tapper a dick? >> and my family, my staff, everyone who knows me, eager to have hillary clinton find out the answer to that question. >> seth: yeah, get to the bottom of it. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i know i mean, seriously. first area 51 then jake tapper being a dick. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, this is interesting because the clinton team, the surrogates were all, real emails. they were saying -- >> so strange, right? >> seth: so strange. they were say hey these came from the russians. don't even look at them. these are so fake, don't even look at them. >> yeah. >> seth: so you had her running mate tim kaine on your show and he was sort of playing this part of he could not verify whether or not these were things that she had said and i really appreciated what you asked him. >> is this document then, is it accurate? did she tell brazilian bankers
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i have no way of knowing. >> well, you could ask her. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: pretty simple. >> "i have no way of knowing." >> seth: yeah. i have no way of knowing. >> you don't know her? >> seth: yeah. you've had -- i feel like i have enjoyed "exasperated tapper" over the course of this campaign. and for me one of your greatest hits, was i guess this was last week with rudy giuliani. and you were asking him about -- trump's made a claim on the campaign trail that hillary had cheated on bill. >> and let's just say for one second of all the things you can say about that relationship, she cheated on him? [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> there's a treasure trove of things that did happen. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, real stuff. >> congressional investigations. >> seth: it's almost as though people are so put off by the
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in this election, they'll say i'm going to lie about something else. [ laughter ] but this -- we'll talk about it after but this seems to be the most exasperated i've ever seen you on television. let's take a look. >> i think the accusations are about hillary clinton taking money from countries that kill women. >> the accusation was that hillary clinton was cheating on bill. that's what the accusation was, it was an unhinged and wild accusation. i can understand why you can't defend it because it's indefensible. mayor giuliani, thank you so much. i appreciate it. >> well, that's your opinion. [ cheers and applause ] was that the worst? [ cheers and applause ] >> i know that it's become a meme. >> seth: yeah.ese pele what are you doing? what are you saying? stop. >> seth: is it? you've been doing this for awhile. i feel like there's always the tendency to say this is the worst that's ever been. is this, as far as the truth and the relationship with the truth, is this the worse it's ever been? >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> and when people say, "oh no, because thomas jefferson's
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john adams was a hermaphrodite." [ laughter ] but that wasn't thomas jefferson saying it. >> seth: right, and thomas jefferson had terrible friends who said stuff like that all the time. >> and you know, john adams was a hermaphrodite. >> seth: he was a hermaphrodite. [ laughter ] you, my last question for you, because last night, you know it is such an incredibly high stakes and i feel like anderson and martha did such a nice job keeping things in line last night. >> two great people, great people. >> seth: you moderated a debate with 11 republican candidates was that just impossible? >> don't do it. >> seth: yeah. >> don't. 11 is too many. >> seth: yeah. >> and when you --and also by the way, these are not small personalities. you know, i mean, trump, christie. i mean, so yeah, 11, that was ridiculous. and was it 7 hours long? how was it -- >> seth: it was really long. they're real bummers. but you did a great job. are so are you looking forward to it being over. >> real bummers. >> seth: they are, it's just a
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here. [ laughter ] >> seth: exactly, hey man this whole thing -- let me tell you how i see it, it's a bummer, man. will you be happy when it's over? >> i will be but i also know that, i mean i remember three years ago when we were like trying to come up with -- well we have an hour every day. >> seth: yeah. >> what are we going to do? you know, what are we going to do every day for an hour? and sometimes we would be grasping at straws and today, you know, every day we have like five hours of show. >> seth: yeah. >> to fit in one houit going to end at some point. so that part is sad. >> seth: yeah, when you're talking about the debt ceiling in a few months you'll think i miss that sweet election. [ laughter ] >> but also like, it's nice as a journalist in a town full of nuance, it's nice when you can actually take a moral stance and say, you know, "this is not true." >> seth: yeah. >> as opposed to well, he did say this about benghazi. but -- >> seth: it's nice when they're just straight up liars.
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>> seth: for both of us. >> but only us and none of you. >> seth: none of you. give it up for jake tapper, everybody. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: my thanks to sarah silverman, jake tapper, everybody. thaddeus dixon, corey glover, vernon reid, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? >> carson: what's up guys and gals, you're watching "last call" from skylark right here in new york city. tonight we've got a little something for everybody. including hard rock, courtesy of our friends "band of skulls."


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