tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC November 14, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CST
musical guest, little big town, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 570, scranton! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hi! [ cheers and applause ] looking good, sounding good. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. this is the show to be at. [ cheers and applause ] big fun show tonight. here's what people are talking about.
interview since being elected and get this, he said that he will only take $1 a year as president. [ light laughter ] all part of trump's unending commitment to never pay taxes. he's just not going to do it. [ cheers and applause ] not going to do it. trump said that he would not accept the standard $400,000 salary that presidents get. that story again, trump made his first deal as president elect and lost almost $400,000. [ laughter and applause ] already. of course, trump's "60 minutes" interview covered a broad range of topics. but for those who didn't see it, here's a recap. >> most amazing, tremendous, terrific. very smart, very nice, terrific. incredible, tremendous, very, very good. very strong, very confident, very warm. very nice. that was so great. >> unbelievable. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good. that's what the next four state of the union addresses will be. the union's terrific. it's very great. it's really fantastic. the end. [ laughter and applause ] very good.
get this. i read that after donald trump met with president obama, trump seemed surprised by the scope of the president's duties. [ laughter ] trump said, "who knew?" and hillary was like, "i did." [ laughter ] "i knew. i knew exactly." [ applause ] so, i guess it makes sense that after the meeting, trump said that he would seek obama's advice in the future. well, it seems like he's already started. just listen to tse voice messages that he left on obama's phone. we got an exclusive. here at the tonight show. >> steve: wow. how did you get these? >> jimmy: i can't -- can't reveal my sources. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: these are voice messages that he left on obama's phone. >> steve: wow. [ phone ringing ] >> hello, you've reached president barack obama. leave a message after the beep. [ beep ] >> hey, barack. quick question, should i give sara palin a cabinet position? what about don jr.? 'cause if i give him a position and i don't give one to eric, the holidays are going to suck.
hit me back, bo. [ beep ] yo, barack, you know like you have your dog, bo, at the white house? do i need to get a pet? has anybody president ever had a fully grown bengal tiger? would love to be the first. [ beep ] hi, barry, want to make sure if it's cool if we paved over michelle's vegetable garden and put in a putting green? i know it's something you probably wanted to do anyway. i'm going to make it happen. [ laughter ] disregard. [ beep ] dude, seriously i'm starting to freak out about this gig. what if i made you secretary of staying president? [ laughter ] i'll throw in a complimentary memberships to all my golf course we can make america stay the same again. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "make america stay the same again." >> steve: that's his new slogan. >> jimmy: hey, i want to say happy birthday to prince charles, who turned 68 today. happy birthday prince charles. [ applause ] his friends got him a cake, which was nice until queen elizabeth popped out of it and shouted, "still here!" [ laughter and applause ] come on. don't rub it in. this is pretty cool. apple just released a new app that lets you read books with
or as dads put it, yeah, this book is about the patriots/seahawks game. [ laughter and applause ] it's a thriller. i read about a set of quintuplets in michigan who all work at the same mcdonald's. or as their manager put it, "carl is the single most productive employee i've ever seen." [ laughter and applause ] i mean, one minute, he's at the fry machine, next he's at the register. he's unbelievable. [ light laughter ] >> steve: he's the best. >> jimmy: he's the best. carl, employee of the month for at least the last five months. yeah. [ laughter ] i don't really know what to make of this, but scientists have discovered that rats actually enjoy being tickled. and even have their own version of laughing. scientists have very excited about this discovery, while everyone else is like, "how's that zika cure coming along?" [ laughter ] are you still tickling rats? that's good. they have senses of humor? yeah, zika, dude.
[ light laughter ] i think rats would really like netflix if they could understand english. >> steve: they would love that punch line. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: finally, this is a a very big deal. did anyone see -- can you see it now? the super moon? has anyone seen it yet? [ applause ] couple people. this is a big deal. this is the biggest super moon in 69 years. it happens when the moon appears bigger because it's much closer to the earth than usual. apparently 2016's been so crazy that even the moon was like, i got to see this for myself. [ laughter ] what is going on there? [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for tuning in. thank you for being here. guys, it is monday. we're so happy to be back.
>> jimmy: big week for us. tomorrow night, academy award winner warren beatty will be here. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how exciting is that? plus later this week, jude law and macklemore will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] thursday night, thursday night's a big deal for us. big deal for nbc, because thursday night football is coming to nbc. [ applause ] so, big ratings for us. saints versus the panthers. after the game, we have a giant show with nicole kidman and miranda lambert. that's thursday night. >> steve: yeah, thursday. [ cheers and applause ] your vcrs, set your tivos as well. also, we're doing something fun with metallica this week. so, stay tuned for that. that should be fun. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a giant show tonight. he stars in the new movie -- i'm so excited they made a a sequel to this, "bad santa 2," billy bob thornton is here! [ cheers and applause ] talented guy. plus we love it when this guy stops by. he's the host of "watch what
book out called "superficial: more adventures from the andy cohen diaries." andy cohen is on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. >> steve: come on, man. >> jimmy: then, if you need more we have more. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: little big town is here, you guys! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we were talkin' about -- yeah. we're going to play a game with them and then they're going to perform for us. little big town is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] uh, guys, as you know, we always like to showcase new talent here at "the tonight show." there's so much of it right here in new york city. so we sent our writer becky down to the streets to find the most talented people in this new segment called, "tonight show sidewalk of fame." here we go. ? tonight show sidewalk of fame ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, as i said, this is live. becky is down on the plaza outside 30 rock right now. we're going to have three
decide who's the winner. okay? becky, how's it going? how are you, becky? there she is. >> going great, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, well the audience seems psyched behind you. the crowd seems wild. [ laughter ] they're on sedatives of some sort. how's the weather out there? is it cold? >> it's perfect. it's 59 degrees fahrenheit. >> jimmy: that's the exact -- that's the exact number. [ laughter ] >> that's what it feels like. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. it feels like exactly 59 degrees fahrenheit? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] becky, did you find any talented people out on the street of new york city? >> yes, i found three. >> jimmy: that's enough. [ laughter ] >> steve: three is better than none. >> jimmy: there's probably more than three. who is up first? who's the first contestant? very exciting for us. oh, there he is. >> this is darren from brighton, england. >> jimmy: wow, you're from england? >> yep. >> jimmy: and is it brighton?
brighton. brighton. >> jimmy: brighton. >> brighton. >> jimmy: brighton, england. over pronouncing all of the syllables in words. [ laughter ] consonants and vowels. we're on in england. we're on e! in england. fantastic, they'll be rooting for you. what is your talent, darren? >> okay, so, my talent is to impersonate a horse. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. this is -- okay. well, we're setting the bar high. [ laughter ] do we know what horse you're impersonating? is this a famous horse? >> any horse. any horse. >> jimmy: generic -- generic horse impersonation. >> i'll make the noise of the horse. >> jimmy: the noise a horse would make. okay, here we go. darren, whenever you're ready, we would love to hear this. [ horse noise ] [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. yeah! [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: just short and sweet. that's it. >> steve: yeah, that's it. [ laughter ]
>> okay. [ horse noise ] [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: come on! set it and forget it. >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know if it's set it and forget it. that's pretty good, darren. i appreciate that. it's almost like a hybrid of horse and a maybe like -- >> steve: it's an english horse. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe like a a harry potter dragon horse thing or like a fantastic beast. i like that a lot. darren, thank you very much. becky, who do we have next? >> this is rachel from cleveland, ohio. >> jimmy: hey, rachel, how >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm fantastic. rachel, what is your talent tonight? >> i can make a tree with my forehead. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is why i love new york city. this is fantastic. >> steve: yeah, everything here. >> jimmy: she can make a tree with her forehead. this is an amazing talent. i've never seen anyone do something like this. i'm very excited to see what this will look like. whenever you're ready, please. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow.
i see it! ?? i see it! i see it! >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: i see. that's fantastic. >> steve: i have about a a thousand trees on my face. >> jimmy: no, that's fantastic. how did you find out that you had that talent? >> one day, i was just looking in the mirror, creasing my forehead as usual, and i was like, cool, i have a tree on my forehead. >> jimmy: there you go. yeah. [ laughter ] that's the way to do it. becky, by the way, you're doing a great job hosting down there. >> thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: becky, do you have any talents besides hosting? >> yes. >> jimmy: you don't have to do it for us. [ laughter and applause ] i just wanted to know. just wanted to know if you had any other ones. [ laughter ] becky, who is our -- [ laughter ] who is our last contestant? >> this is alex from fairfield, connecticut. >> jimmy: hey, there he is, alex from fairfield, connecticut. how are you, alex? >> i'm great, jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: doing great. do you have a backpack or something? >> yeah, i was on my way to
i work in a basement, and i was just about to fold clothes for six hours. and then you guys saved me, so i'm very, very happy to say the least. so -- [ laughter ] i'm not kidding. >> jimmy: alex, are you going to be in a basement for six hours? alex, can you look in the camera? can you blink three times if you're being held hostage? [ laughter ] you're not being held -- everything's cool. all right, so, do you need the backpack for this talent? >> no, no, i'm good. we can put it do you're good. we're good. >> jimmy: no, whatever you feel like doing. something with your hands. is it magic? >> it's cold out here. if i stand out here any longer, i can cut diamonds. it's freezing. it's cold. >> steve: hey oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is your -- what's your talent? >> i sing. >> jimmy: hey, very nice. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're a singer. well, let's -- let's see it. let's hear it. this is fantastic. yeah.
last night with you hold me like i'm more than just a friend ? ? give me a memory i can use ? >> jimmy: hey, there you go right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: what do we have? >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: we have -- we have the horse impersonation. >> steve: yep. [ laughter ] forehead tree. >> jimmy: yeah, we have -- yeah. >> steve: and singer. >> jimmy: tree forehead. yeah. and then -- wow. this is all very good, but again, i don't decide this. our audience decides this. let's line up the great contestants that we're -- thank you guys so much for doing this. our audience will now decide the winner by round of applause. was it contestant number one? [ cheers and applause ]
[ cheers and applause ] or contestant number three? [ cheers and applause ] right there! contestant number three is our winner! congratulations! [ cheers and applause ] how exciting. how exciting. becky, what prize do we have? >> our winner gets $100 and a a "tonight show" t-shirt. >> jimmy: not bad! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't go folding that down in the basement there. >> guys, you didn't win, so you each get $50 and a "tonight show" tank top. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's not quite as good but still -- still good. >> thank you guys for playing. >> jimmy: not bad. thank you, becky, and thank you. another round of applause for our great contestants. [ cheers and applause ] oh, you guys are fantastic. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ? i never over think it do what i want ?
? that's right let's celebrate ? ? yeah we're all about a good time ? ? yeah we're all about a good life ? ? you won't believe until you see this ? ? is gonna be a fun ride ? ? yeah we're all about a good time ? ? yeah we're all about a good life ? ? good energy come follow me oh ? save 10 when you spend 50 on ocgreries at target. y do people put why does your tummy go "grumbily, grumbily, grumbily"? no more questions for you! ooph, that milk in your cereal was messing with you, wasn't it? good, right? mmm, yeah. lactaid. the milk that doesn't mess with you. ? ? hey, is this our turn? honey...our turn?
[ tower pinging ] [ whistling ] we've got a problem, friend. half off any smartphone for anyone who switches? blem? the naughty list shouldn't get deals! yeah, but anyone who switches gets half off of any smartphone. even these? yeah, any smartphone. call the big guy! [ bell dings ] santa? no, jingles. [ knuckles crack ] [ spits ] ooo. ouch. [ neck cracks ] [ darien ] switch and get half off any smartphone.
oh, we love you. welcome, welcome, welcome. all right, now, now. muah, muah, muah. we're about to play a game called "stranger strings." okay? >> oh! >> jimmy: "stranger things," "stranger strings." here's how it's gonna work. before the show, we all wrote down a few facts about ourselves that no one else knows. those facts are on these cards. we also have these full cans of silly string. and we're going to take turns reading a card. then we'll count to three and everybody sprays silly string at the person they think wrote that card. [ light laughter ] it's like a getting to know you game. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here we go. glasses on. safety -- safety is sexy you guys. [ light laughter ] here we go. >> i look much smarter. >> my fake glasses are hitting my glasses. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: your fake glasses are hitting your glasses. here we go. i'm going to read the first card here. here we go. ready? and then i'll read the card and then i'll count to three. you ready? >> i'm gettin' ready. gettin' ready. >> jimmy: someone here said, "i won a state-wide modeling competition when i was 18." [ laughter ] all right --
>> no. i've never been a model. >> it wasn't me. >> jimmy: oh, no, it was you! no, it's not. you did it? way to a state modeling -- we can't spray after -- can't spray after the fact. you really want to spray him bad. wait, state modeling? really? were you a state model? >> well, no. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> alabama state model. >> i'm from a small town so -- >> jimmy: still, wow that's rad. >> jimmy: no, this is great. i'm sorry it's going to be tough getting out of your hair. sorry everybody. it's all right. we'll have it out by the time you perform. phillip, why don't you go next? >> all right, let's do this here. okay. "i once ditched the cops by driving down a dirt road with my mom in the car." [ light laughter ] not me! >> jimmy: wait, wait why -- i don't know why -- i was going to go you. [ light laughter ] why is everyone here hitting you? >> jimmy: who was it? who ran from the cops? was it you?
i told you. >> jimmy: oh, it was you. [ cheers and applause ] i knew it was you. you're so close. wait, you were running -- >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: you were running from the cops? >> i saw him come this way and he, like, metered me and i was like, "mom, hang on." and i went down a dirt road and i parked and she was like, "stop it!" and then i -- >> jimmy: pull a "dukes of hazard." >> and then he went by. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> i know. in the south. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. all right, all right. we're getting to know everyone. >> it's gettin' good. >> jimmy: kimberly, it's your turn. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: i won't -- i won't -- i promise i won't hit you on this one. >> okay. >> i won't either. player." >> aw! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there's nothing left of my face. >> you need to take your glasses off and -- it's gonna work. >> jimmy: i wasn't a -- i wasn't a college baseball player, but i did play baseball for one game in college. so it counts. >> so it was you. >> jimmy: it was me.
it was a j.v. game. >> there wasn't a rule for, like, below the head, right? >> jimmy: i mean, that was unbelievable. you all went right for the face and it was a big target. >> we do everything in harmony. >> we didn't plan it either. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. y'all winked at each other. >> jimmy: jimi, here you go. you're up. >> oh, dear. >> all right. here we go. >> jimmy: i got the worst of that one. >> wow. >> jimmy: you're not getting off easy. >> this is impressive. "i can count to ten in korean." >> what? i don't know! i don't even know. i don't know -- [ light laughter ] i don't know. >> jimmy: who's got the most? kimberly, you got the most. >> she's slowly turning into dolly parton. [ laughter ] right? >> jimmy: well, i'm slowly turning into george clinton. who was it? >> who was that? >> it's me. >> jimmy: it is you! we got it right. [ cheers and applause ] can you give us a taste? >> yes.
yeol! >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. ?? [ cheers and applause ] i mean, not bad. >> with a georgia drawl. >> jimmy: with a georgia drawl. yeah. >> my husband and little girl take karate, so that's how i know. >> jimmy: aw, that's so cute. come on. all right, this is the last one here. and i -- you got off so easy. oh my gosh. >> okay. "i can do a mean michael mcdonald impression." >> jimmy: it's one of you guys. wait. i think we know who. i think we know what -- [ laughter ] all right, stop, stop! >> i feel like i was being set up for that one. oh, my -- >> do it. >> jimmy: well, you must know that yeah -- wait. >> can he do it really fast? >> jimmy: yeah, of course he can do it. roots, what song is it? oh, roots might know it. >> let's see. let's think of a good one. >> you look scary. >> hang on, let me use this for a microphone. >> jimmy: other cans, by the way, under the table. >> i'll do it.
? you don't know me but i'm your brother ? [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: by the way, that's fantastic. ? i was raised here in this living hell you don't know my kind in your world ? ? fairly soon the time will tell ? ? you telling me the things you're gonna do for me ? ? i ain't blind and i don't like what i think i see ? ? taking it to the streets ? ? taking it to the streets ? >> jimmy: my thanks to little big town! they're performing their new single "better man" for us later in the show! come on back! billy bob thornton joins us, tonight. [ cheers and applause ]
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was great. that was a great impression. that was a great michael mcdonald. i love little big town. they're awesome. thanks for doing that again, guys. our first guest is a golden globe award winning actor, and an academy award winning writer, sequel, "bad santa 2," which opens nationwide next wednesday, november 23rd. please welcome the very talented billy bob thornton. ?? [ cheers and applause ]
good to see you, buddy. thank you so much for being here. i appreciate this. >> oh, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: congrats on "bad santa 2." i was, i was looking at all the different movies and stuff like that, that we've all loved you in throughout the years. and it's been, "sling blade", i think, was the first time i saw you. and a lot of people. it's been 20 years, this month, 20 years since "sling blade." >> yeah. >> jimmy: can you believe that? [ cheers and applause ] it went fast, huh? >> 20 year anniversary, yeah. >> jimmy: do people come up to you, and just quote everything from "sling blade" or yell at all like, "hey." [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ as sling blade ] >> jimmy: "french fried potatoes, mm-hmm." [ laughter ] >> sometimes, yes. >> jimmy: they do, yeah. >> but that's, that's what they always say, too. for some reason, that stuck with people about french fries. i don't know. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well, america loves french fries. >> yeah, they do. >> jimmy: and we love "sling blade." i think we should combine both and we should open a theme restaurant, called "sling blade's." >> "sling blade's." >> jimmy: well, all the -- all
[ laughter ] "welcome to sling blade's, mm-hmm." [ laughter ] the only thing that, the only thing is that i think it's funny. they have to be out of -- [ as sling blade ] "sorry, it breaks my heart to tell you, but we're out of french fries potatoes." [ laughter ] they have to do, it has to be, the restaurant can't sell french fried potatoes. >> the thing you go there for, they don't have any of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they're out of, yeah. i'm telling you, we could do a a pop-up. i'm an investor, if you want to do this. [ laughter ] i'm in. i think we do a pop-up, we do it for a week, dn right outside the "today show." >> let's test it out and see how it works. >> jimmy: all right, done. [ cheers and applause ] you, we were talking back stage, and you told me there's a thing called "actor movie face." where you're good at certain, certain faces like this. and i know -- >> well, i'm not good at them. i just hate them so much that i -- [ laughter ] it's really about posters is what it's about. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like you can do a movie, it doesn't matter what it is, and
you, along with the photographer, into this -- there are only two or three faces, ever, on posters. but the main one, and i don't even know how they get you to do it. but i've done it, a long time ago. i've caught on now, but a, but a lot of, a lot of actors on movie posters are going like this. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i would see that movie. i would see that movie. >> and i'm not really sure what that is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you mind doing it? >> yeah, let's do it. you're a little too timid. [ laughter ] no, this is, imagine that you're looking far, far away with your mouth open. like you're looking at the desert far, far away. [ laughter and applause ] you have to squint. eye trouble. >> jimmy: i have to see far away. bad lasik. >> yeah, exactly, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we were talking about it, because i was saying "bad santa", i enjoyed the poster.
santa 1", you had a thing where you were posing, you had like a a cigarette dangling out of your mouth. cause' it's, he's a thief. >> well, yeah. i had the christmas sack over my shoulder, and i had a a cigarette dangling out of my mouth, because that's what the guy does. he drinks and smokes and other stuff. [ light laughter ] and, you know, so i got the bag, and i'm looking with the sly look and i've got the cigarette. and they took the cigarette out and put in a toothpick. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i, why -- why replace it with a toothpick? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: because heus he's a "bad santa", man. >> he's a bad santa, yeah i mean, after every meal, this guy gets wrecked. [ laughter ] i mean, >> jimmy: he, like, might have like a chewy, chewy steak or something. you know, don't really want to know, what he ate. >> i mean, here's a guy who lays in a gutter drunk half the time and yet he has good dental hygiene. [ laughter ] you know? i just don't understand that. >> jimmy: we should have had him flossing, and he's giving him flossing. yeah. that's a real bad ass, yeah. well, i'm happy that it's back. gosh, i love it. it's got a cult following because it was, and it's, he's
you're playing a thief who is dressed as santa, who uses that to rob. and your mom, kathy bates, is in this. she's worse than you are. >> yeah, she is. >> jimmy: yeah, she has like -- >> oh, she makes me look like a a kitten. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's really funny, though. and it's great and it's actually a nice, it has some holiday messages in there. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: that makes, you have to put that in there as well. >> well, yeah. but it was a little more emotional. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a comedy. it's very, very funny. i want to show a clip. here's billy bob thornton and christina hendricks in "bad santa 2." take a look. >> aren't they great? regent likes to focus on the business, but i'm like you. i am all about those kids in the christmas concert. we all participate, volunteers, staff. if you're interested, you could join us. >> are you out of your [ bleep ] damn mind? i ain't dancing around with a a bunch of candy canes and [ bleep ]. 'cause i'm all about the birth of christmas. you know, the wise guys kicked him out of the hotel.
him some perfume. and king midas or one of them, threatened to cut the kid in half, turn him into gold. [ laughter ] and it's a heavy deal for me. pretty damn heavy. >> are you talking about the true meaning of christmas? >> exactly. [ laughter ] l [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a heavy deal. it's a heavy deal for me. >> it's a heavy deal. >> jimmy: billy bob thornton, everybody! "bad santa 2" hits theaters next wednesday, november 23rd. we'll be right back with andy cohen, everybody. stick around. ?? ? we love knowing what's happening.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest, one of our favorites. he's the host of "watch what happens live", which airs sunday through thursday at 11:00 p.m. on bravo. he's also "the new york times" best selling author. his latest book, "superficial: more adventures from the andy cohen diaries," is in stores tuesday, november 15th. everyone please welcome
[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: you exude fun. you are a fun human being. >> you're a fun human being. >> jimmy: no, you are really a a fun human being. >> you're funner. gh >> jimmy: and you will find out when you read this, this book, "superficial." this is a sequel to "the andy cohen diaries." >> yes, a deep look at a a shallow year. >> jimmy: but this is a -- >> a deeper look at an even more shallow two years. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: ooh, double the years. >> i dubbed. i dubbed 'em up. >> jimmy: you dubbed up. >> i dubbed up. i dubbed up. >> jimmy: but, this is, you said that you may lose a few friends over this one. maybe, because it gets a little deep. >> i know, i'm worried. you're not mad at me over anything that's in there, right? >> jimmy: i'm in this, right? >> you're in it a few times,
>> no! okay, good. i agree. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what story, what -- which ones are in it? i only read a couple of them. >> okay, good. i don't know. no, there's nothing in there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what, well, i read the things -- >> it's all good. >> jimmy: about when we went to sushi and i thought i saw -- >> oh, yeah. we go to sushi one night and he comes back to the table, he goes, "oh, do you know, do you know any of the olsen sisters?" >> jimmy: the twins, yeah. >> twins. and i go, "i know ashley." and he goes, "oh, i know m.k." you said. i think. >> jimmy: i don't know if i said "m.k." >> mary kate. and then you said, "yeah, one of them's over there, i don't know which one it is." and i go, "oh." and i go, "well, i do know ashley." and so on the way to the bathroom, i'm like, you were like, "yeah, you should check it out. say hi." and then i -- >> jimmy: because i didn't know -- i think i, i didn't look at anyone when i was -- >> and it so was not, is all i can say. but it was someone else who is, like, a workout queen lady in new york city, who i do kind of know. >> jimmy: tracy anderson. >> tracy anderson.
it was terrible. [ light laughter ] it was terrible. >> jimmy: i didn't know. i thought it was one of the olsen twins. >> jimmy: but it's a great fun story. >> thank you. i'm really excited about it. >> jimmy: and you have wacha on the front cover. >> yeah, little super wacha. little guy. >> jimmy: i mean, come on, i love your dog. dude, congrats on the show. it's over 1,000 episodes. >> yeah, i'm so psyched. it's been seven and a half years. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, you guys. >> jimmy: "watch what happens live." >> but did we tell you what we found? >> jimmy: no. >> there was a show in serbia that is -- they rippedf. they ripped off my set in serbia. >> jimmy: i don't see, i don't see the real -- >> okay, so that's mine. >> jimmy: this is you and your set. >> okay, there's our d'wheel. we spin to play d'wheel breakers, our rug, everything. >> jimmy: yeah, you always have fun games. >> that's it. that's the serbian show. >> jimmy: yeah, this is the serbian show right here. >> yeah, "the ami g show"? i mean, this is the same -- [ laughter ] and that's the ami g. that's the me of serbia, with the mustache.
>> there's no similarities, right? isn't that crazy? in serbia! >> jimmy: i got to be honest. i like his show a little bit more than yours. >> a little bit better. [ laughter ] i know it has more energy. >> jimmy: it has more energy. >> yeah, it does. >> jimmy: when i'm in serbia, that's the only show i watch. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's the best. we always think of your show, because we have so much fun, if i can come up with a dumb, silly game. like we did the shotski. that was fun. >> yes, you brought me the shotski. every wednesday night on my show, it's jimmy fallon shotski night. >> jimmy: yeah, and you have -- you have random people. [ cheers and applause ] >> together on wednesday nights. it's bring shotskis -- ? shotskis bring the people together ? >> jimmy: yeah, i have a new -- i have a new thing for you here. >> you have a new game? >> jimmy: yeah, it's called -- i call it right now, i think i'm going to call it the a a "muff of truth." >> "muff of truth"? i am in. >> jimmy: this is the "muff of truth." >> okay, this is the "muff of truth"? >> jimmy: this is it. i think it's the "muff of truth." >> okay. >> jimmy: so here's what we do. we both, okay, this card is for you. you hold this card. >> okay. >> jimmy: with that hand.
the muff. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then we interlock. >> do we touch? >> jimmy: yeah, we shake hands. >> we're shaking hands. >> jimmy: it's getting hot in there, right? >> yeah. i don't love this. >> jimmy: heat is rising. heat is rising. >> it is warm in there. >> jimmy: we never shake hands this much ever. >> no, it's humid. >> jimmy: what the idea of it is, though, this is now we're in the muff of truth. ?? >> we are. >> jimmy: we have to confess something that -- >> it's humid. >> jimmy: it's humid in there. >> okay. >> jimmy: we have to make a a confession. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay, that we've never said publicly. >> okay. >> jimmy: it doesn't have to be anything that crazy, but this is the moment. >> okay. >> jimmy: and we have to, it's so you have to tell the truth, so you read this card. >> okay. >> jimmy: and then you reveal what your truth is that you've never told anyone publicly, maybe. or maybe you have, but it's just a confession. and then we'll always have this connection. >> love it, the "muff of truth." >> jimmy: were right now, it's in there. it is getting hot. >> it's like hot as hades in there. >> jimmy: it's getting sticky. >> got to say. okay. >> jimmy: here we go, look down, i'll stand up. >> okay. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: are you ready? >> this is the muff of truth. okay. >> jimmy: here i oh -- here we
[ light laughter ] the time has come, enough's enough. i, jimmy fallon, for the past two years, have watched "the gilmore girls" every night to go to sleep. [ cheers and applause ] >> come on. >> jimmy: yeah. i'm gearing up for the next one. >> you are? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's taken you two years? >> jimmy: there's so many seasons. >> how many seasons are there? >> jimmy: it's so many seasons. you have no idea. and, dude, rory just came back from college and it is like -- >> oh, my gosh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't even want to say. oh, dean's involved. yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay. you have to read the card. >> oh, yeah, yeah. the muff is warm, our hands are sweaty -- they're really sweaty. >> jimmy: yeah, they are. >> thy truth be told, for i am ready. i, andy cohen, once mistakenly sexted my sister. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the muff of truth.
pull that out. andy cohen! "superficial: more adventures from the andy cohen diaries", is in stores tuesday november 15th! >> tomorrow! >> jimmy: that's tomorrow! we'll be right back with performance from little big town. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ?? this holiday... tic on. get your appreciation on. and get your unexpected on. kay jewelers. where right now, you'll save up to 30% on select ...diamonds in rhythm... stunning diamond fashions. ...and this charmed memories gift set. so go to kay... the number one jewelry store in america... ...and get your kiss on. ? every kiss begins with kay. ?
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take on any galaxy with a car that could stop for you. simulation complete. the new nissan rogue. rogue one: a star wars story. in theaters december 16th. ?? ? i never over think it do what i want ? ? and i do it my way (okay) ? ? we live the life we want to live ? ? that's right let's celebrate ? ? yeah we're all about a good time ? ? yeah we're all about a good life ? ? you won't believe until you see this ? ? yeah we're all about a good time ? ? yeah we're all about a good life ? ? good energy come follow me oh ? save on butterball turkey
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these guys are fantastic every single time they come on. what's the jam i -- "your side t oh my gosh. it's just killer. they're just the best. they're a grammy award-winning band. they just took home the cma award for vocal group of the year for the fifth year in a a row! [ cheers and applause ] that's how -- they're so good. performing "better man" off their upcoming album "the breaker," give it up for little big town!
? i know i'm probably better off on my own than lovin' a man who didn't know ? ? what he had when he had it and i see the permanent damage you did to me ? ? never again i just wish i could forget when it was magic i wish it ? ? wasn't 4:00 a.m. standing in the mirror saying to myself you know you had ? ? to do it i know the bravest thing i ever did was run sometimes in ? ? the middle of the night ? ? i can feel you again but i just miss you and i just wish you ? ? were a better man
like the back of my hand ? ? and i just miss you and i just wish you were a better man a better man ? ? i know i'm probably better off all alone than needing a man who could change his mind ? ? at any given minute and it's always on your terms ? every careless word hoping it might turn sweet again like it was ? ? in the beginning but your jealousy i can hear it now you're talking down ? ? to me like i'll always be around you push my love away like it's some ? ? kind of loaded gun boy you never thought
? of the night i can feel you again and i just miss you and i just wish you ? ? were a better man and i know why we had to say goodbye like the back ? ? of my hand and i just miss you and i just wish you were a better man ? ? a better man better man i hold onto this pride because these days ? ? it's all i have and i gave you my best and we both know you can't say that ? ? you can't say that
a better man i wonder what we ? ? would've become if you were a better man we might still be in love if you were a better man ? ? you would've been the one if you were a better man ? ? yeah sometimes in the middle of the night ? and i just miss you and i just wish you were a better man ? ? and i know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand and i just miss you ? ? and i just wish you were a better man we might still ? ? be in love
blem? the naughty list shouldn't get deals! yeah, but anyone who switches gets half off of any smartphone. even these? yeah, any smartphone. call the big guy! [ bell dings ] santa? no, jingles. [ knuckles crack ] [ spits ] ooo. ouch. [ neck cracks ] [ darien ] switch and get half off any smartphone.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to billy bob thornton, andy cohen, little big town! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. thank you. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- aaron eckhart. star of "good behavior," michelle dockery. music from margo price. featuring the 8g band with atom willard. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight out there? great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to a new poll, 75% of americans were surprised when donald trump was elected president. here's a photo of two of them.