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tv   Up to the Minute  CBS  September 18, 2015 2:50am-4:01am EDT

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human being. >> i got 24 inches. i got 26s. then here i come. say look at vince, he ain't nothing, driving around on rims and tires the same size the engineers designed for the damn vehicle. getting optimum gas mileage. you know, it is about cars when they do the hip-hop stuff. i just recently became a car guy. up until recently i was a non-car guy. i had a four-door beige honda. that was my first car. loved that car. i put $8 worth of gas and go four years. and the car was brilliant, man. and i'll never forget i was driving down the street in my little four-door honda, i was proud of it and just driving down the street and eddie murphy pulls up next to me in a beautiful bentley. he was right over there. i was like hey. it's like 3:00 in the morning. we're coming home from the club.
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he saw me and he pushed this button and the electric windows went -- i thought hey! and he was -- and drove off. >> i know you a long time, man. >> yeah, we're both getting older. >> by the way, your honda's still running well. i got it. >> just listening to vince, when i go to music, i stop basically in the '70s. started off with records and a needle. my first was a sears $60, turn table drops down about six inches. for stereo you had to put your head on the turn table. look at you, fashion diva. i understand you just like all in your clothes these days.
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>> wait a minute! i move to my own music. i got to strap one on! >> okay, let's hear it. >> all right? ♪ i want a guy with a mobile home ♪ ♪ has an extra wide chromosome ♪ ♪ who retains water in his head ♪ ♪ who talks to me like mr. ed >> that's what i'm talking about. >> what do you think about the asian stereotype? >> asians can't drive. you know? we're smart but we can't drive. if they made the steering while like a mouse. asians can't drive but at least
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we have car insurance. know what i mean? >> we got to take a break. don't go away, we'll be right back. ugh, this pimple's gonna aw com'on.ver. clearasil ultra works fast to begin visibly clearing up skin in as little as 12 hours. besides, its not like acne will last forever. just like your mom won't walk in on you... forever. stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! see what i'm saying? acne won't last. but for now, let's be clear. clearasil works fast.
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♪ it's the final countdown! ♪ ♪ the final countdown! if you're the band europe, you love a final countdown. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. i'll see you at home. the egg mcmuffin. made with a fresh cracked egg and real butter. only at mcdonald's. i'm lovin it. ugh, this pimple's gonna aw com'on.ver. clearasil ultra works fast to begin visibly clearing up skin in as little as 12 hours. besides, its not like acne will last forever. just like your mom won't walk in on you... forever. stephen!
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all right, welcome back to "comics unleashed." you've been talking about male/female hormones. >> i'm living them. i have a daughter who became a woman. that's what her mother said, she's a woman now. i had no idea what i was in for when her mom and her linked up on the same menstrual cycle and i became trapped in a women's prison movie. men have hormones too. we can get a testosterone overload any time, women have seen this, a guy's been working out doing something, setting, in the house, testosterone overdrive. i'm going to tear this wall down, put the refrigerator there. slow down, no talk, no talk. just got to bang for awhile. man's hormones drop down, i'll just pay somebody to finish the job. >> get a sitcom. >> you know what, here's the
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thing, you know what, byron, i need to be caught in a scandal. >> yeah. >> that's right. i wanted to become addicted to painkillers, you know, the problem is i'm catholic and i live for pain. you know? i still have nightmares about my eighth grade non-sister godzilla. got mad at me because i gave her a shaving mug for father's day. >> judy, you're going to hell for that. oh, good, we can car pool. hello. by the way, that's a big male fantasy, men want to see two women together, don't you? >> no, i don't. >> yes, you do! don't lie to me! guess what, we women want to see two men. that's right. we want to see two men. one to cook and one to clean. maybe if i had been more like
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that monica l, maybe if i had played swallow the leader. nasty, nasty, nasty. >> been traveling, man? >> every week, road dog. >> are you really? >> yeah. >> how are they treating you at the airport? >> people want to racially profile at the airport. i'm like, hell yes. america was founded on racism. we should do what we do best when we need to do it. you know what i mean? we actually are professionals at racism. i'm in line, right, i get pulled out of line, there's a guy hovering on a piece of carpet next to me. and you take away my carmex? >> have you been traveling? >> yeah, you know, my favorite thing is they sent me on the airplane, always sit me between
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a land mass and a glacier, you know? it's fine until we hit turbulence and i get smashed into a mammogram breast, you know? until i look like one of those tropical fish with an eye on each side of my head, you know, like tori spelling. daddy! oh, that's my fault now! >> i like your haircut, man. >> got the same haircut. >> there you go. >> you look good, though. >> thank you. >> black people look good with bald heads. asians, we look like buddha. you know what i mean? white people look sick. >> we're going to take a break. we'll be right back. don't go away. to find out how to be part of our studio audience, visit many prescriptions can cause dry mouth. act dry mouth mouthwash and toothpaste relieve dry mouth symptoms
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welcome back to "comics unleashed." what's going on, man, heard you were talking about viagra. >> you want to get some? it's everywhere. you don't need a prescription. when it first started, you need a prescription. now it's internet. what i get is, i read about that
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most of the men who are taking it, like 80-year-old guys are taking of this stuff and dying of heart attacks, yet they know it, which tells you everything you need to know about men. they are saying, look, the doctor's going you can either have ten more years of life with no sex or take this viagra, have sex and maybe have a heart attack. give me the pill. >> they are going to market viagra as a soft drink, that's right. now every guy can pour himself a stiff one. >> you think racism will ever end? >> man, that's a good question. i hope so. i think human beings need to get their stuff together. i think we all need to get the stuff together as people. i don't want to preach racial harmony and love, because i don't want to get shot. >> anyone in history of man kind that's had a message of love or harmony, gone, jfk, pow, martin
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luther king, pow, gandhi, jesus -- so we can ease into the ending of racism, not abruptly. i hope we can get our act together. >> what do you think about interracial relationships? >> i think it's good. i think it's good. it's important, you know what i mean? we have to learn about each other's differences and cultures. like my sister married a black guy, he's a good guy. he's a lawyer. good to have a lawyer in your family, right? i never thought that my brother-in-law would be a brother-in-law. >> what do you think about white people? >> white people, they are all white. white people are cool, they are good, until they get fired. right? then they go postal and shoot everybody. when blacks and latinos get fired, it's about time, sucka.
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right? fire a white guy, i'm fired, what? i'll be back. go home, get the guns, come back, and they shoot everybody. i know because i'm filipino. a lot of filipinos work in the post office. you don't see filipinos in the news shooting people. if we're on the news, it's because we're the witness. i saw the whole thing from the back counter. the gun firing, it was bobby, he's crazy. >> we got to take a break. we'll be right back. don't go away. for more laughs, visit closed captioning brou ugh, this pimple's gonna last forever. aw com'on. clearasil ultra works fast to begin visibly clearing up skin in as little as 12 hours. besides, its not like acne will last forever. just like your mom won't walk in on you... forever. stephen!
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welcome back to "comics unleashed." what's going on, man, with romance? >> you're in the relationship, that's the maintenance, the romance maintenance, i think, is the toughest thing. the big holidays are the pressure for the guys, valentine's day, the super bowl of romance. a friend of mine told me what he did for his wife the first valentine's day, he led a trail of chocolate kisses that led her to the bathroom where he's waiting for her in a bubble bath with champagne and flowers. i know women are like, oh, that's nice. guys are thinking what's he going to do next year? i got to stay in the jewelry path, that's all i do, buy jewelry. one year, what does she really want for her birthday? i was really paying attention. every morning she went in the bathroom, every day said this thing is a piece of junk, it's broken. i know, i know.
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i know. everybody here knows the mistake i made. i should have gone, well, said something, honey, i'm surprised that scale even registers light as weight as yours. something like that of the instead, i went out and bought a new thing. do you know how much i had to spend after that to make up for the scale? thousands, i'm still paying. >> if a woman asks do i look fat on these jeans, that is a trick question. >> have you been been pulled over by the cops? >> today, yes. >> being pulled over is no joke. you know what i mean? when you get pulled over, it's scary as hell. you know what's worse, have you been a passenger in your friend's car when they get pulled over. that's when you start finding out things about your best friend you never knew existed. damn, damn! you're like, man, what's up? this car is not even registered.
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what? i got a handgun in the glove box. cocaine under my seat. i am wearing a wig and we got a dead body in the trunk. i'm like, steve, what are you talking about? man, my name's not even steve. >> oh, man. >> i got pulled over too. >> did you get pulled over? >> yeah, because i was swerving. but they let me go because i'm asian. oh, okay, they do that all the time. >> what's the story, man, i understand you're a good catholic boy. >> man, you know what, i can't help it. i got raised by a catholic family. my mom, there's pictures of jesus in my house everywhere, impossible to masturbate. but yeah. i love with mom, you know what i mean? it's cool, i go to church. i don't belief in premarital
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sex. ladies, if you want to have sex with me, you have to be married first. no, just joking. you can be engaged. but yeah, catholicism is a big part of my life. spirituality is real important. >> there you go. >> without god, we wouldn't be here, right? >> that's right. >> it's important to have good family roots. we stick together, like rice. sticky rice. now that i'm american, uncle ben's. it's all separated. if you think about it, it's the white man's rice that's trying to separate. a why is the yellow pages separate from the white pages? think about it. >> round of applause. thank you for watching. until next time, keep laughing.
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this has been a production of
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the "insider" from hollywood. your 24/7 celebrity conversation. >> i'm donald trump. i've made billions and billi of dollars. >> more energy tonight. i like that. this is a country where we speak english. >> the gop debate becomes a trump reality show special. >> we don't need an apprentice in the white house. we have one right now. >> i'm in t middle of all the media madness. >> does america want a celebrity
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president? >> i have the ideas. >> then the demand for kanye as potus grows stronger. a new campaign video that is trending. >> i'm not no politician, bro. >> plus, modeling's biggest money makers get a major wage increase. ♪ did taylor turn her bad blood crew into fashion's top earners? ♪ all night long then lionel richie takes las vegas. we're inside his new residency, and will he be taking a third trip down the aisle? >> don't get too ahead of ourselves, ladies and gentlemen. >> now hollywood from the inside out, it's the "insider" together with yahoo! inside the war on shandaland. we have the primetime players hoping to take down shanda's angels. and from tgit to must-see tv. no bigger trending story than last night's gop presidential debate. i felt like i was watching an episode of "the real housewives
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of simi valley." >> i'm not going to lie. th might have been a table flipping in there somewhere. absolute insanity, especially the center of the room. cnn's live debate watched by over 22 million people. just shy of fox news' 24 million. safe to say a lot of it was due to the trump factor. social media tracked his every word. is it just proof everybody is overdosing on the donald? >> three hours is probably a record setting long debate. >> why did you say it? >> i guess you were selling a lot of commercials. >> it was the trump show 2.0. once again the donald emerged with more screen time a moments than the rest of the pack. >> i'm donald trump. i say not in a brag doeshs way, i've made billions and billions of dollar >> the lead elephant in the herd trampling the rest when it comes to media hype. >> very supportive daughter. very proud.
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>> aspiring first daughter ivanka trump was there with her brothers. but cameras did not catch during the debate was trump speaking with her consistently throughout commercial breaks. >> what were you talking about? >> you have to talk to somebody. and i talk to everybody. we had a great time. >> while a father's love is typically prypriceless, for a billionaire republic front-runner, he can show it with as little as ten bucks. >> what woman you would like to see on the $1 >> i think my daughter because she's been sitting there for three hours. other than that, rosa parks. >> i don't think we've come across a presidential candidate who knows celebrities. >> now they're making ghost busters with only women. what's going >> who has the plus of what we were talking about better th donald trump. >> cnn anchor kate baldwin saying how unique of a politician she is. and on stage the zingers were flying. >> i neve attacked him on his looks, and believe me, there's plenty of subject matter right there.
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that i can tell you. >> he swung a strong back hand at rand paul and said this after being tattered by jeb bush. >> i didn't want to -- jeb -- >> more energy tonight. i lik >> but as i saw in the aftermath, all this continued attention comes to the chagrin some of fellow candidates like bobby jindal. >> does america want a celebrity president right now? >> donald trump is a narcissist. he's an entertainer. give him his reality tv s back and fire him. he doesn't believe in anything but donald trump. >> no sign of momentum slowin down anytime soon. trump is the most social candidate with 4.1 million twitter followers. but according to our washington inside yahoo! senior political correspondent john ward says his residence with voters stretches far beyond. >> the majority of americans are not on t i think it is a minority of them. four million is a big number. but his numbers in the election are going to be a lot bigger than that. >> let me tell you something. in another life i was an anchor at fox news.
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this was unlike anything i ever experienced before covering political stories. at time it felt like the super bowl than the debate. especially in that spin room. >> it looked like the super bow i thought somebody was going to get tackled. >> somebody almost did. >> glad you're back and safe. if trump does get the gop nomination, i know who i want as his runnin how about this, trump-west ticket. we have a lot more on that. where is your button, buddy? >> i'm still working on it. it is going to be a huge button. i'm down all the way in social media. it is going bananas over the brand new endorsement video. now kanye is concentrating on his other passion, that is fashion. see, i'm a rapper, too. his new york fashion week takeover is trending on yahoo! celebrities. kanye west getting through models is trending hot. yesterday he unveiled the second season of the line as wel dropping his new track. and, of course, the scene was star studded. seth myers and kim k. west were front row.
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>> see what i'm doing is getting closer to what i'm dreaming about. >> backstage, west open up to talking about becoming a dad again and his show. >> does this change the concept of fashion? >> yes. it's about being relaxed and comfortable. like the way my daughter is. i want to be able to swing her around. >> his little one north was also at dad's show along with her aunts khloe, kendall and mommy west in the center. kim also posted this adorable shot of north behind the lens with the caption "our own personal backstage photog," which received more than one million likes. >> i've decided in 2020 to run for president. >> meanwhile, the #kanye2020 continues to trend. one kanye fan created this video that is going viral with close to 900,000 views. >> i have the idea
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>> tom brady said he thinks will be great if donald trump was president. >> last night's gop debate s trending. tom brady was also making some headlines with his support of the donald. >> do you think he's got what it takes? >> i hope so. >> tom who just recently had his four-game deflategate susp overturned is a friend of the gop presidential hopeful. trump loves to tweet about brady calling him a friend and total winner. tom is winning on all fronts. not just last week's patriots win over pittsburgh but today we learned that two employees also suspended for their involvement with deflategate have been reinstated to the patriots organization. i'll tell you if trump calls you a winner, you must be a winner. >> thank you. >> huge. >> well, tom's other and much, much richer half gisele also generating buzz day. >> she certainly is. gisele clearly the all star on the supermodel roster bringing home the most bacon this year. maybe bacon isn't the
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appropriate word there. i'm not sure super models eat. i'll tell you what they are doing, they're getting paid, especially the ones ranked on forbes' new model rich list. >> what is your name? >> gise >> that was then. this is now. the brazilian bombshell topped forbes list of highest paid super models at $44 million. >> she really is a force reckoned with and earned more than any other model every year since 2002. that brings her total career earnings to $430 million. >> her brands include this underarmor ad. gisele pummeling a punchi social commentary in the background. it made a powerful impress with 5.5 million facebook fans and 6 million instagram followers. >> what does it feel li walk down the runways in channel? that's unbelievable, girl. >> i can't believe it happened.
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>> some models can demand more money if they have a really large social media following. kendall jenner is a case in point. she has over 36 million instagram followers. that's part of the reason why she's so young but has been able to get massive gigs. >> here right now doing this. it's weird. >> delavigne's 19 million instagram followers makes her one of the darling of social media and celebrity. >> she already is number two this year. she did work for at least 13 brands. >> then there is the taylor swift effect. appearing in her hugely successful "bad blood" video. taylor and her cat walk crew big on posing and posting. >> hanging out with her is a beneficial relationship. taylor is much cooler and far more fashionable by being surrounded by super model. being on taylor swift instagram really exposes the models further than anything on their >> the oldest on the forbes
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list, kate moss. she's been modeling for almost 30 years. here she is auditioning as a teen for lor r'oreal at 41 she's still making bank. >> she is still one of the highest paid models. >> and probably the most voluptuous model on that list, kate upton. she was at 17. raking in a cool $3.5 million just to be h >> yeah, but she looks that hot. >> wow. straight ahead, america's prima ballerina grades hollywood's love affair on the wig stage. and how does her pirouette measure up with the whip nene? that's next. closed captioning provided by --
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what's your favorite beverage? >> pineapple juice. >> who is the person you would like to have pineapple juice with? >> misty copeland. >> i would love to have pineapple juice with you.
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oscar winner name-checking america's prima ballerina in the 73 questions video >> let me tell you something, it has been a great year for the 33-year-old who made history as the first african-america female principal dancer at the prestigious american ballet theater. keltie knight is joining after going toe to toe with misty. >> i don't know about toe to toe. a girl can dream. misty clearly on pointe in the ballet world. but does she think hollywood can say the same? do you feel like hollywood gets the ballet world right? >> attack it. attack it! >> we saw natalie portman win the oscar for "black swan." we see all these dance mov >> it's not as competitive and crazy as they make it seem. >> what happened to my s girl? >> she's gone! >> misty's dramatic turn from prima ballerina to hollywood sweetheart -- >> his choreography is so challenging. >> i love this girl.
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>> -- has landed her on the covers of "time" and "essence" where she announced her engagement to attorney o. lou evans. >> this is my story. >> and now she has a new documentary based off her best-selling book. "a ballerina's tale" takes us inside misty's difficult rise to first position. >> i have a large chest. i'm muscular. it's very similar to any professional athlete. >> and just like any professional athlete, i had to keep misty on her toes. you are the dance icon of our generation. but you have competition from silento. are you hip to the whip, nene? >> i couldn't do it. but i know wha >> you could be like whip, nay-nay. i bet you would make it so beautiful. i'm just sayin'. >> i'll work on it. >> you saw what happened there, right? she didn't want to mess with my whip nay-nay. >> that is hard to foll keltie.
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coming up, lionel does vegas all night long. but will be he living the single life in sin city? >> plus, primetime's war on shanda land is on. but do shanda's angels have a secret weapon in their tv arsenal? it's next. first, a catch of the emmy's sitcom "modern family" gets together for an epic throwback thursday tribute. >> oh, my. then julie bowen tried to turn the world on with her mary tyler moore style. i was nervous to do it because i worshipped mary tyler moore. >> and who better than sophia vergara to take back ed o'ne the phot all in the new issue of the "hollywood reporter." and broke real bad as brian skran ston. >> this is cute. >> not only cute but also a dream. >> i just loved her so much. >> you nailed it.
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today our social snap, katie
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couric enjoying a slice of her debat
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♪ all night long, oh, all night long ♪ >> lionel richie's hit shot t number one across the pop r&b charts. obviously one your favorites. one of the many chart toppers the four-time grammy winner will be singing when he starts the sin city residency at planet hollywood. i hope he wears that outfit because it is epic. epic! he is following the trend of all of the big stars bringing their voices to las vegas like celine dion, mariah carey, elton john and now lionel. when the 66-year-old music legend hits the stage, he won't be alone. >> i'm actually moving into vegas with my kids. ♪ whoa sin city to me is okay, i have to be the supervisor of other group that's coming in. ♪ oh, what a feeling >> famously the father of nicole
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richie, the music icon is also dad to 17-year-old sophia and 21-year-old miles. >> my son and daughters are planning on coming in and hanging with me. i keep thinking, that's not the way vegas was when i first got there. hey, guys-how are you? a hands-on dad as seen an "candidly nicole," the family will be joined in vegas by someone new. >> do you take viagra? >> lionel's new love lisa perigi is ceo of a fragrance line and a lifestyle blogger who speaks four languages. he admits their meeting started with a simple "hello" at a dinner party. ♪ hello >> she is swift. it made it interesting. things i thought i would brag about she had no idea who the heck i'm talking about. she's from another place. >> but after going through two divorces, lionel is careful to shoot down marriage rumors to lisa, who is reportedly half his age. ♪ once, twice, three time lady
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>> this is a very bad business for relationships. i'd love to tell that you charming, charming adventure. but in the entertainment business, i love how they meet on monday, oh, my god the love. tuesday, they hate each other. what happens between monday and tuesday? so i like it -- right now it's happy. leave it alone. >> but what do the kids think? >> how many women have you been with since you divorced? >> i don't like the mandatory we have to like each other. that's not how kids work. we've been very luc they all like each other. so we're on to something. ♪ >> lionel's also on to something with his new show opening april 27th, which he promises will be pure vegas. ♪ we're here to party >> dancing will be involved. i won't say another word. that is pretty much where that's going to g
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♪ dancing on the ceiling ] >> that is a show i want to see. get this, there is one song that you will not hear him singing. >> what song is that? >> "hello." you want no though why? >> why? >> because the crowd freaks out whenever he sings it and they sing every word right back to him. >> you're the crazy lady in the audience. ♪ hello ♪ hey >> yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ >> stock up on your red wine and popcorn, people. the ladies return one week from tonight. i can not wait. it looks like they're going t have serious primetime competiti >> yeah, they are. the network strategizing with counterprogramming attacks, even fooling a quarterback sneak. but do they have what it takes to take down the gladiators? the war on shandaland is tonight inside story. >> we're shocked and awed and excited to be here. filled with gratitude. >> it's scandal. >> well, not so fast. yes, it's the second year that tv mastermind shanda rhymes has
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dominated a night of network tv with her series "grey's anatomy" "scandal" and breakout hit "how to get away with murder." as you can see, the other networks are pulling out their best players to turn the lights out in shandaland. >> shanda land is wildly successful. it is a ratings gold mine. nothing it can touch it unless it's football. >> this fall, the nfl's golden season is coming to cbs. >> first up, cbs, who airing thursday night football throughout october will be a ratings touchdown. our tv insider eliza wagmeister says it's a wise move. >> it's a really smart move to bring their biggest stars which aren't in the script. >> but just into the ring, swinging by introducing the long standing hit "bones" paired with the adventure thriller "sleepy hollow." >> they're big fan favorite shows. in terms of the numbers, they don't stand a chance against tgit.
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they go from 5 million to 7 million. tgit is 10 million to 15 million, which is a huge number. >> "the heroes" are being reborn on nbc followed by the "blacklist" and wesley snipes prime time debut as "the player." can he stop the ultimate drama diva? viola davis? >> don't disappoint me. >> we now have two african-american superstars on different net shanda land is going to kill it. "how we got away with murder" is a much bigger show. >> and don't count out the cw. they're betting on the new two hour shows "vampire diaries" to take a bite out of "the gladiators." >> there soot chapter. >> that's why they made dvr so you can watch everything, debbie. >> tgft, thank god for that.
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back to tgit for a minute, who does a better olivia pope? kerry washington on her co-star scott foley? find out
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it just makes you feel kind of a little bit more like i can do this. i can do this. and with the coolsculpting procedure you can do it too. so if you want to see a slimmer you when you look in the mirror, go to today to receive a limited time offer for a free consultation. >> that's tomorrow on "the insider." >> travel consideration provided by -- all right. before we head out of here, the scandalous scott foley went head up with ellen today.
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>> impersonating his primetime lover. here it is. >> how do i do nine seconds, ten seconds. listen, i want to know everything about this person and know it now. when it handles you give me a call. >> kerr >> yes. >> oh, he handled that for sure. >> yeah, he did. >> "the insider" together with yahoo! >> take care, everybod >> yahoo!!
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mirrors. they show us all our problem areas... those places that we can't wish or squish away. well now fear no mirror, and eliminate those problem areas with coolsculpting - the patented cooling technology targets and kills fat cells, with no surgery or downtime. so if you want to see a slimmer you when you look in the mirror, go to today to receive a limited time offer for a free consultation.
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it's the funding fight that could lead to another government shutdown. conservative lawmakers lead the charge to defund planned parenthood. silence. donald trump doesn't step in when a questioner says president obama is a muslim. >> we know our current president is one. you know he is not even an american. ball is out! it is picked up by the broncos roby and he's in the end zone for an unbelievable touchdown! >> and kc collapses! the denver broncos stage a stunning come from behind victory against the chiefs in the final minute of "thursday night football." this is the "cbs morning news" for friday, september 18th, 2015.


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