tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS April 21, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
>> stephen: hey! hey, everybody! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the late show, everybody. thanks so much. yeah! welcome to the slate show. i'm your host, stephen colbert. (cheers and applause) something about you makes you seem very attractive to me right now? (laughter) now i don't know if you guys are anglophiles or anything, but if you are, if you are into england it's queen elizabeth's birthday today. (cheers and applause) she is turning ninety years old. she is the first queen to ever reach that age.
there would have been others but they were beheaded. (laughter) really, really shortens your life expectancy. scientists find, without this, really cuts down on it. now to celebrate liz as she asked me to call her-- liz is going to have a huge party and i hear it's going to be princess themed. that should be fun. but it doesn't stop there, okay. queen elizabeth is having her portrait done by annie leibowitz. she's releasing a new stamp in her honor in may. there is a public celebration of her birthday. in june there is a service at st.paul's plus a big parade and she gets to wear her birthday tiara all year long. that's a lot. (cheers and applause) you may not insult her majesty the queen that way. >> what is the problem, what do you mean. >> there is a problem. you're being very rude and i'm going to take you down, to funky
town. hit it, boys. >> stephen: surprise, your majesty. i got you a stripper. (applause) wait, that's all you're taking off? >> we're english. we're very conservative. (laughter). >> jon: i'm sorry, your majesty, i thought he was going to show you his bangers and mash. i-- i don't know what-- i don't know what-- i don't know. i tell you what, i also got you a television show. but first let's say i had to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. (applause) ♪. ♪
(cheers and applause). >> stephen: now before we get started, i just want to take a zen in case the people in here don't know and haven't heard the sad news. today the world lost a great artist. prince passed away today at his home in minnesota. i know, it was a shocking-- shocking and sad news. and i have been a fan since i was in high school. i remember a guy in my choir skipper graham brought in the very first prince album into our choir room. and we-- you know, there were so many things to love about it one of it was obviously the music was so powerful. and also we had to wear the head phones so the adults could not hear the lyrics to any of the songs. but of course as sad as i am, i was just a fan. but jon, i understand that you and some of the artists over there actually got a chance to work with prince which must have been a tremendous honor.
do you have any memories of him you would like to share? >> jon: yeah, he had a huge aura, his energy and presence in a room just kind of filled everybody's heart. you know, he had a certain kind of way of being aware of what was going on. i remember one time we were back stage and i was talking to him. and without even looking in the direction, just pointing his finger, he says courtesy. and then you look over there's five people over there. you don't know what he is talkk about. and then you turn, and they had a cat with his phone filming our conversation. and he figured out through all that was going on back stage, musicians playing, everything happening, you know, courtesy. put the phone away. then he said down. cat put it down, in your pocket. he put it in his pocket. thank you very much. okay, jon, so how are you? >> stephen: wow, total awareness of what was going on him. >> jon: his energy. >> stephen: besides being a beautiful artist.
not many people are as influential enough to be known by one name let alone by one color. but he was. so in a small gesture of respect tonight we would like to change the set in his honor. (applause) (cheers and applause) well, if you're following the news you know that the 2016 republican primary toboggan ride is rapidly approaching the oaktree of their summer convention. (laughter) and if you think that you're worried about what is going to happen in this race, just consider reince priebus, rnc chairman and man whose name is an anagram for crisp bee urine. (laughter)
reince is in a really tough spot right now. as his party approaches a contested convention, it appears to be going up in flames. as he told reporters yesterday, sometimes you can't fix it. sometimes you can just take a seven alarm fire and make it a four alarm fire. it's still burning but not as bad as it was. (applause) okay, okay, very happy. not as bad as it waws, reince, you understand how fire departments work, right? you're not allowed to leave and say hey, i think we put a dent in it. good luck. but don't worry, priebus insists everything's fine. >> you are the man in the middle, they say. and it's all your fault. >> i mean so, i'm so used to it that i don't-- i don't even care. it doesn't bother me. >> you're not pulling out your hair. >> not-- no, i'm not. >> stephen: no.
he's not pulling out his hair. it is fleeing of its own accord. (laughter) (applause) we're out of here! but really, really, he's good. >> people assume oh, you must be miserable. you have a horrible job. but i don't see it that way. i'm not pouring baileys in my cereal. i'm not sitting here trying to find the johnny walker. this is fun. >> stephen: yeah, it's fun. (laughter) this is fun, right? how many more months of fun do i have? six, oh great, yay. so i have to say, mr. priebus, uh, uh, i'm not pouring baileys on my cereal is a very specific
rerchesz for something-- reference for something. (applause) for something you are not doing, sir. methinks he dot priebus too much. here is the thing, we care about you reince priebus. i need to know about any other very specific things you're not doing. for example, please tell me you're not using jagermeister as a salad dressing. that you're not huffing ether out of a scooby-doo gym sock. that you're definitely not soaking swisher sweets and gasoline and wrapping them in bacon and then-- that you're not-- keep going. (cheers and applause) i really, i really need to know that you're not doing rumpleminz body shots off an unemployed mall santa. now if you will excuse me right now, in honor of reince
priebus-- (cheers and applause) i am going to treat myself-- i'm going to treat myself to a little bailey's on my lucky charms. or as i like to call it, an irish konl breakfast. hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. hmmmm. (cheers and applause) ♪. ♪ please tell me other people could hear that drumming. (laughter) it might just be the lucky charms and bailey combination
>> thank you so much. thank you. this is great. >> stephen: look at that. >> that's lovely. but seriously, good night sweet prince, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. it's a tough day, tough day sz sad and shocking. >> i'm going to be 60 this summer. (cheers and applause) you know, 60 is the new 58. i don't know if anybody has told you that. but i saw prince on either don kersh fr rock concert or the midnight special, remember those horrible midnight shows. >> stephen: fantastic. >> he was a young guy and i said who is this grand funk micer that will take us to the revolution. mi sitting with my dad and my
step mother's house just trying to stay up late, just, you know, because that's the only truly controversial thing can i do. because i'm such a (bleep) , you know, i'm staying up until 1:30 tonight. and i don't care who knows. and don kershner rock concert, the midnight special came on. >> stephen: wolfman jack. >> i guess he did. let's hear it for prince. and-- it is not often that you watch tv and you think this is a brand new thing. cuz he was really frungy-- funky in the late '70s, am i wrong? it was like-- it was like finally someone cracked rick jaims code. he took it and elevated it to this other-- and that was just the beginning of decades of that. and now he's gone, and god bless him, we're going to miss him. (applause) not that he has me pouring
baileys in my lucky charms. >> stephen: i had some lucky charms and baileys. >> why don't you share that with your guests, (bleep) come on. let's break it out. cheesier plaws. >> what i love is i love the st.pattee's day theme to this. >> stephen: we're a little late for the st.pattee's day parade. >> first of all, these are the scariest colors found in nature. i don't know what these little-- give it a shot. (applause) >> the truth is for a 60 year old man with type 2 diabetes, this is-- . >> stephen: a cry for help. (laughter) >> not exactly the breakfast of champions. man oh man. >> stephen: not bad, huh.
>> you know, after having a bite of that, i think i'm changing my political affiliation. and i'm going to vote republican every chance i get. cuz they're having such a great time. >> stephen: they're going to be serving this at the convention as part of the suicide pact. (cheers and applause) now we've got to talk about your movie a little bit. >> can we just admit that this is frigin delicious. >> stephen: it is so good. >> you will not believe it. somebody at home is going to mom and dald's liquor closet and the breakfast pant ree right now to give this a shot. >> stephen: you know, the baileys, alcohol really cuts into the marsh mellow. >> it does. >> stephen: the moons, the stars and the clofers and mellows them out. >> and the blue elephants and the-- . >> stephen: you know it really
shocked me when i tried it. >> i would love to have a pack of smokes right now, sit back and really-- . >> stephen: maybe a swisher sweet wrapped in bacon. >> whatever that joke was supposed to be. >> stephen: it's lost on humanity. we don't know. >> it is as good as a completed line, my friend. >> stephen: i agree. speaking of a completed line, you say a lot of them in your movie, he said in segway. >> pretty smooth, huh? can i say one thing first, you just got a building named after you. >> i did. this is at-- state university. >> stephen: congratulations. >> it is a big deal. this is the, i never had my name on a building before. >> stephen: that's nice. >> i have had my photo, you know, as in wanted. i have had that on some buildings. know, write state university, they just opened it. it is a great honor. and to have your name on a building and knowing that, you know, people are going to go in there and learn the ten ets of
film making. >> stephen: the kids getting up going oh, i have a 9 a.m. over in hanks. >> that's what i am looking for. okay, can we see that? you can't do a an acronym, the thcfmp. that's not going to fly. so you just want those hungover college freshman say i got to get to hanks. what are you working on now. >> i got to do some post production on a short film over in hanks. that's what you want. the hanks. and it's the only blue building on campus. >> stephen: really? any reason why it would be blue for you? >> first of all they said number one, it would be blue, with my name on it. >> stephen: they said. >> they said it will be blue. and secondly there is also a three bedroom conned minute yum that goes along with it that i can use any time i am a's in dayton, ohio. >> stephen: seriously? that's really nice. >> yeah, my friend. >> stephen: it's all paying off. finally the career is paying off. >> at last i've got some purchase to go along. respect. finally! >> stephen: your new movie,
because i really enjoyed this new movie of yours called "a hologram for the king." you play an american businessman salesman who has to go to saudi arabia to try to make a sale for an information technology over there. >> three dimensional hold o graphic video conferencing system. >> stephen: and you are constantly faced with challenges of like not being respected because you're not a local, nothing is prepared for you. >> no one shows up. >> stephen: the king is never there. >> they stick me in a tent. they drop me off, yeah. it's a disaster in every way, shape or form. >> stephen: we have a clip right here. >> let's look at the clip, yes, indeed. >> dow know why we're not in that building? >> well, maybe all the vendors are in here. and maybe we're just the first. >> kind of weird being out here. >> it is a brand new city. it's unchartered territory and we are the trail blazers. >> where are we supposed to eat? >> guys, come on! we are in the kingdom of saudi arabia. with the deserts and the camels and the sheikhs and the tents.
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makes cuts to social security benefits. and the plan raises the retirement age. it's true. the a.a.r.p. opposed the plan, citing dramatic cuts to medicare benefits. the plan sestak supports means higher out-of-pocket costs for millions on medicare. any way you spin it, the truth about sestak is gonna hurt. women vote is responsible for the content of this advertising. >> stephen: hey, welcome back, everybody. here with tom hanks. now just getting back for a second into this little center you got. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: this is a milestone in your career. do you remember the first milestone, the thing where you went okay, everything is-- i might be able to do this for a living. >> i got it chipped. >> stephen: yeah. >> it was the zen i could afford to have my car repaired.
>> stephen: not afford the car. >> so you are driving the used car, right, that's been yours for awhile. and a red light comes on the dash that says check voltage regulator. i don't know nothing about cars. but you know what that meant? bankruptcy, failure. >> stephen:s that is how you were teetering, how thin the ice was. >> all of my life, as soon as i started driving i lived an absolute total fear of the red light on the dash board. >> stephen: what would you do? >> i would wait until it would with go off. i would hope if i can make it to corning, the red light might go off. i had a faulty regulator once and it was coming on and off. but then you get, you make some cash. you meet with some success. and guess what, red light on the dash board, i hope they all light up. how about that. (laughter) i hope they all-- . >> stephen: bring it. >> alternator, regulator. >> stephen: is that all you got! >> not only can i afford to fix this car, i can afford to have it towed from anywhere in
america. when that happened, i said i'm going to be fine. i slept easy. >> stephen: what was your first car. >> my first car was a 1970 volkswagen bug. it was beige. >> stephen: that is an exciting color for a young man about town. >> i was a wildman. i went to-- i went to shabo-w college which was a junior college in oakland n heyward, actually. god bless. i wanted to have a college sticker in my rear window like other people went to mit and kal. they had stickers that say shabow college. i didn't want them to know that i went to shabow so i just cut sha bow off and put college on the back of my car. which-- . >> stephen: as far as they knew, anything could have peeled off the top. >> yeah, oxford college. >> i went to har vrd college, you-- harvard college, you know, whatever. >> stephen: you made it now. you have made it now. you're at the top of your game, at the top of your profession. both you, but both you an i are
sort of. >> we're doing good. >> stephen: we're doing good. we're top notch actors, you know n a way. i'm an acker in my own way. you're an actor. >> yeah. yeah. >> stephen: you've got a bunch of os cars for your work. >> thank you (cheers and applause). >> stephen: and i've got a bunch of emmys for my work. >> brafo. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: they're basically, basically the same thing. >> no, they are not, sir. they are not. >> stephen: they are the same. >> there is a big difference between the two, my friend, yeah, yeah, huge difference. >> stephen: the point is you have two os cars, so between the two of us that averages out to one oscar a piece. and it is rare that two actors of our caliber, you know, are together like this. i think we should take a zen right now just for the aspiring actors out there watching this, we could offer acting tips to help them get up to our level. >> great idea. let's help the kids. >> stephen: great. >> just to be clear, we're on
the same level? >> stephen: you said it, tom. (applause). >> stephen: great. >> it was a question. >> stephen: so all you amateur actors, listen up, because it's time for on your mark, get set, act, with tom hanks and stephen kol belter-- colbert. first tip. crying scenes are tough, personally onions make me cry, so when i have to cry, i think of a dead onion. (laughter). >> stephen: if you're having trouble inhabiting a character, just ask important character questions like what's my character's name. what is the movie about. and is my character in it? (laughter) >> to keep your eyes from
shifting around, focus on just one object. unless your character needs to look shifty. in which case make sure that one object, a fly. >> stephen: never work with children or animals. one exception, baby werewolves. box office gold. (laughter) >> never read bad reviews. instead, kidnap the critic at gunpoint. (laughter) i find they're much less likely to tell you you suck at gunpoint. (applause). >> stephen: all the best actors know that emotions live
in the arms. if you are scared, flail your arms around in terror. if you are sad, flail your arms around sadly. (laughter) >> if you are doing a love scene, make sure the directer and the cameras are there. (lau ghter) (cheers and applause) otherwise you're just having sex. (laughter). >> stephen: that's a rookie mistake. >> amateurs, yeah. >> the most important part of acting is listening. so always act like you're listening. tilt your head and say things like hmmmm, yes, i understand because i'm listening to you. >> sometimes it's hard to remember all those words. and here's what you do.
you get a dog and you name the dog line. then you shave the words you're supposed to say in to the side of the dog that the camera cannot see. then if you forget what are you supposed to say, call line. he runs up to you, and you can read it right off the side of your dog. i learned that one from marlon brando. he toll me. >> stephen: well, tom, thanks so much. that was really-- (cheers and applause) >> yeah? >> stephen: line? (laughter) great advice.
that triggered the financial meltdown -- goldman sachs. just settled with authorities for their part in the crisis that put seven million out of work and millions out of their homes. how does wall street get away with it? millions in campaign contributions and speaking fees. our
economy works for wall street because it's rigged by wall street. and that's the problem. as long as washington is bought and paid for, we can't build an economy that works for people. sanders: i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message.
♪ i want to be in the room where it happens. ♪ i want to be in the room. ♪ i want to be, i want to be in. ♪ i've got to be. ♪ i've got to be in the room ♪ hold your nose and close your eyes. >> stephen: please welcome lesley odom-- leslie odom, jr. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: nice to seat you. >> you too. >> stephen: i can't believe i was able to score a ticket to interview you tonight. (laughter) >> anybody that introduces us at
the grammies gets a ticket to the show. >> stephen: that was a great honor. i got to be the person that announced your category. that was incredible. what does it feel like to be part of thee at kal history? like be in something that is so culturally significant. because you can't go see it without going i'm seeing something different, truly significant, truly beautiful. >> it is, you know, just the great joy of our lives to be a part of something that is-- you know, to do something this big that is actually art. it's just not something that you prepare for when you are sing. you prepare to do big movies. you prepare to do paib a big tv show if you are lucky. but to actually get to penetrate the consciousness like this in something that feels like great art is-- we're very lucky. >> stephen: and you have an enormous variety, an incredible variety of people who have fallen in love with this work. and somebody who comes back stage to say i had to you guys,
is there a pecking order as to who says hi first when you go back stage? >> there kind of is. it happens-- . >> stephen: everybody wants to come back stage and say hi. >> it is funny, tom hanks was actually one of the very first influential people that came to see the show down at the public. >> stephen: we were talking back stage, he said it was a couple weeks into the run when it first started. >> none of us really knew what we had. we believed in it but to have people like him, and spike lee, shonda rhimes, people coming and confirming that this thing was special, gave us a lot of confidence. down at the public, there was one night where it was busta rhymes, sal man rushdie and mannedy patinkin. >> stephen: that runsz the gam et. >> it really did scz who do you say i had to first. >> busta is big. so-- . >> stephen: like big in your heart or large person. >> both. >> stephen: you had one guest came to the show a month ago. and this is-- it's prince who called it the best history class
ever. >> yeah. >> stephen: what a beautiful thing to have an artist of his caliber, what does that mean to you and the other members of the cast to hear that, even before the sad news of today, to know someone like prince who has been so influential saw you doing something different? >> i mean it's-- it's humbling. and you know, we don't take it for granted at all. i remember that he had a private concert, we got invited the day of this private concert that he was going to give in harlem. it was a secret concert that he gave. he went at like 2:00 in the morning and played until 3:30 a.m. so a bunch of the cast went down to see that and he came the next night. he sat right in the box, with his shades on the whole time. but it meant the world to us. and then prince didn't come back stage. he wasn't big on stuff like that but then we were all waiting to see, did he like it, did he care about it. and he sent that tweet, so we'll never forget stuff like that. >> stephen: you play aaron
burr in the production of "hamilton." who is ostensibly the bad guy. >> yeah. >> stephen: do you still see him as a bad gie? spoiler alert, he shoots hamilton. (laughter) >> i feel bad about it every night. but no, i don't. i think there are very few people that come to earth to be the incarnate of evil. there are a couple of people we can think of but most of us are just trying to do the best we can with the hand that we're given. and i think that that was burr. he lived-- he graduated from princeton at 16 years old. if you read his writing at 13, 14 years old, the writings of this kid, you know, it's astonishing. this was a brilliant man, a war hero who kind of gets boiled down to the guy that shot hamilton. and what lin has done, what the show has done, it's forcing us to look at these guys with empathy. it's forcing us to look at somebody like thomas jeferson in a little bit more of a
complicated-- . >> stephen: with not as much empathy. >> right. >> stephen: jefer son is not the good guy in this one. >> not in our show. digs is good but jefer son is not the greatest guy in our show. >> stephen: my favorite song in the musical is yours which is the human where it happened. which is an extraordinary song because your character is-- burr wants to be in a room where jefer son and madison and hamilton are making a deal about where the capital would be and where the banks in america will be. and you want to be in that room. and i feel like a lot of politicians today do not have a plan or something they want to achieve. they just want to be in the room. they just want the power to be there, to make a decision if there is one to make. that seems so res nabt to our present political times. >> that might have been true of burr too. >> stephen: he really just wanted the power, not nesesly having a plan. >> i think that that was the major difference between him and hamilton. hamilton really had many, many plans of how to make this a
great country. i don't think that was burr's strength, but yeah. >> stephen: you are married and you and your wife both sing. i saw something, a vien you guys put out recently. >> oh yeah. >> stephen: this is, this is you and your wife. you come home, you've had a little something to drink. and you decided you're going to sing together. which a lot of people do. maybe just having fun. but not everybody sound this good. can we share what you posted. fly away old glory. ♪ fly away. ♪ in the morning. ♪ when i die, hallelujah ♪ cheesier plawses. >> completely wasted. we're toasty. >> stephen: i wish i sounded that good when i wasn't. >> we're feeling good. >> stephen: please invite me to that next party. >> bring on the lucky charms.
>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thanks so much. you know, all week besides having i think the best band on television over here, so lucky y'all have been joined by some jazz great this week. we had sandoval. the heap brothers last night. and another beautiful musician with you tonight. tell me who is jamming with the band tonight. >> we have a drummer who has played with charlie parker, louis armstrong, everybody. and one of the ventures of bee bop drums an jazz, roy haynes. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: now mr. haines, i understand you are 91 years old. (cheers and applause) you have to do a little bit of mr. haines on the jazz.
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worst polluters. as secretary of state, hillary clinton forced them to the table... making real change by laying the groundwork for the historic global agreement to combat climate change. as president, hillary will invest in clean energy jobs. on fracking, she'll protect families' health and safety and stand with communities that want to ban fracking, and their right to say "no." because our future depends on getting this right. i'm hillary clinton, and i approve this message. >> stephen: here to perform their song spirits, please welcome the strumbellas. ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go
♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't ♪ i been looking at the stars tonight ♪ and i think oh, how i miss that bright sun ♪ i'll be a dreamer 'til the day i die ♪ but they say oh, how the good die young ♪ but we're all strange and maybe we don't wanna change ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ but the gun still rattles the gun still rattles, oh
♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ i spent a lot of nights on the run ♪ and i think oh, i'm lost and can't be found ♪ i'm just waiting for my day to come ♪ and i think oh, i don't wanna let you down ♪ cause something inside has changed ♪ and maybe we don't wanna stay the same ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ but the gun still rattles the gun still rattles, oh ♪ but the gun still rattles the gun still rattles, oh
♪ and i don't want a never ending life ♪ i just want to be alive while i'm here ♪ and i don't want a never ending life ♪ i just want to be alive while i'm here ♪ and i don't want to see another night ♪ lost inside a lonely life while i'm here ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ i got guns in my head and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head and they won't go ♪ but the gun still rattles the gun still rattles, oh ♪ but the gun still rattles the gun still rattles, oh
that's what congressman for wsestak did.ceos - sestak was one of only eight democrats to join republicans to allow ceos of bailed out banks to pay
themselves unlimited bonuses using bailout money. an "outrage," according to newspapers. katie mcginty- tough on wall street ceos, a fighter for pay equity for women. praised by former gov. ed rendell, "she'll stand strong for working families." katie: i'm katie mcginty and i approve this message.
julia louis dreyf-uss. from game of throans
nikolaj nikolaj-walda-u and sam morel. don't go away, james corden is up next with his guest charlize charlizetheron. . >> good evening, ladies and gentlemen, we had already shot tonight's show when we heard that the reports had been confirmed that prince had passed away, and it didn't feel right for me to start an entertainment show without coming back down here and turning the lights on and saying something about it before we begin.