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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  October 20, 2016 11:50pm-12:53am EDT

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>> a local brewery hopping on the wentz wagon the beer inspired by the rookie quarterback. >> there's a certain comfort knowing he's watching over us. >> sports director don bell goes one-on-one with flier's manager and how the team is working to keep the legacy of ed smid snyder alive. >> truth is i'm a modest perso person, very modest. true. >> this is such a special event that i took a break from any rigorous nap schedule. >> fresh off their final debate the presidential candidates get comical. don bell and hillary clinton dine together for an important cause. good morning i'm ukee washington and. >> i'm nicole brewer in for jessica dean there's plenty of laughs and dinner in new york and moment when laughter turns
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to boos. >> there were timing the event was uncomfortable to watch. >> this was supposed to be a fun, light dinner with plenty of laughs. there's no question there were a few times things got uncomfortable [ applause ]. >> friends turn foes donald trump and hillary clinton sat with new york cardinal timothy dolan as buffer inside the waldorfes toreia hotel. >> we have proven we can actually be civil to each other. in fact just before taking to this hillary clinton accidentally bumped into me and she very civilly said, pardon me. >> this is the first time ever, ever, that hillary is sitting down and speaking to major corporate leaders and not getting paid for it.
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[ laughter ]. >> a few minutes into his speech trump took a serious tone. members of the audience began top boo. >> here she is tonight in public pretending not to hate catholics. >> and then clinton stopped into the spotlight. >> it's amazing i'm up here after donald, i did not think he would be okay with a peaceful transition of power. >> donald, after listening to your speech, i will also enjoy listening to mike pence deny thought ever gave it [ laugh ter ]. >> clinton, too, went for the jugular. >> people look at the statue of liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants, a beacon of hope for people around the world. donald looks at the statue of liberty and seize a four, maybe
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a five if she losses torch and tablet and changes her hair. >> this is likely the last time we'll see the two in such close quarters and the debates are done. last one was last night an election less than three weeks awayment reporting live, david spunt, cbs3 eyewitness news. >> on the campaign trail, don bell will number newtown tomorrow night and earlier today he was in ohio. republican nominee said he would accept the results of the election under one condition. >> that i will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election if i win. >> during last night's presidential debate trump would not say if he would accept the results. hillary clinton was off the campaign trail today and president obama stumped on her behalf miami garden, flour day.
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he slammed that it was riingtd and clinton is trying to turn the traditionally red arizona, blue. >> hillary has prepared her entire career to be president. her opponent, well, i'll just say this, hillary has comprehensive policies to help people. her opponent has tweets. you decide. >> clinton will visit philadelphia on saturday. >> and we are now just 18 days away from election day. keep it right here on eyewitness news for continuing coverage of campaign 2016. we now know eyetive good samaritan shot five times trying toy stop a robby at rittenhouse park. he remains hospitalized tonight nript was shot trying to stop a
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17 yeertd teen and another suspect from robbing a couple in the park tuesday night. police state 17-year-old knew the couple he was robbing and police continue to search for him. >> philadelphia businessman sam katz said he was embarrassed after caught carrying marijuana at the philadelphia international airport. he pchd it for a weekend fishing trip in florida and put it in his briefcase. tsa agents discovered the marijuana when he wept through security check point. police seized marijuana and gave cats a $25tic sglet hopes are high this season as flyers drop the puck for home-opener tonight. >> don bell got a chance to go one-on-one with flier's general manager and the team is celebrating 50 years. >> philadelphia flyers. he's a third generation hockey guy his father played in the nhl and grandfather.
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it's in his blood. so is the orpth and black. >> there is annen tire generation that remember ron hextall like this. the man between the pipes 7 seasons and revolutionary player willing to throw bows. to this day, he still down plays it all. >> do you talk to the players about it. >> i try not to. >> they don't ask you. >> once in a while, once in a while sfwlu take the low kia approach. >> i try. there's imposter out there, that's all i know. >> despite a decorated career on ice helptall is writeing a new chapter in third year as team general manager he's willing to make a bold move like hire dave helptall first go from college to pro since 1987. >> i told mr. snyder who i had
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my eye on and he's like who, you cannot do what is popular and what the public thinks you should do. you have to do in your mind what you know is right. >> from 1986 to 1999 helptall spent plenty of time with the flyers. he was with ed who lost his battle in april. >> there's a comfort knowing he's watching over us and certain onlyization that we have as the top hockey people in the organization to continue the tradition and history that he's created over his 50 years. >> with snyder no longer with us helptall is leading his pursuit of the first stanley cup since 1975. it wail take pain wednesday. we want to build a 7 or 8 year window where we have a chance to win. it's hard to win. there's 29 other teams out there and next year 30 trying to win. it's hard. you have to build a window you say okay, we have a shot the
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next three, four, five, six, seven years if we do things right. we're on the front end of the process and we look forward to good things not only this year but years to come. >> don't let hiscool demeanor steer you. his obsession toss bring the cup to philly supersedes any desire to focus on anything else. >> when you're a gm you kind of are consumed by it all and sometimes i have to apologize at home when hi mind is somewhere else. it's consuming and when you're passionate about something, it's not work, it's fun. >> hockey, hockey, and more hockey. don't worry about it fill lirk he's working with you. don't worry if he's dedicated he's all about. it coming up later in sports flyers kicking off 50th season. highlights later in the show. >> we like that grin he got when he talked about how little he was as a player. >> time to play it down. >> we know better. >> great job, thank you, don,
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appreciate it. >> other news convicted chaka fattah scores a small legal victory in his corruption case. a judge three out some charges based on post trial motions. four aids and advisors were convicted and no sentencing dates has been set on fatah remaining 18 counts. >> prosecutors charged a burlington county police officer with vehicular homicide in connection with a crash in lawrence township. he was off sduty had his car struck a utility pole september 23. that crash killed the loan passenger with him arian awilliams of florence. prosecutors say a bloods sample showed rodriguez drank excessive amount of alcohol. he's us is spended without pay sfwh a class action lawsuit is filed against the city of philadelphia over traffic tickets issued by the philadelphia police department.
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and the plaintiffs take issue withtic fretz philadelphia police on roads such as interstate 95. schuylkill and vine street expressway. jurisdiction on those roads was shared with pennsylvania state police until 2012. since then, state police is have jurisdiction. if the suit goes further drivers ticketed by philly police will be contacted by mail and may join the suit if they wish. >> day two of a strike by 14 colleges and university across the state of university. 100,000 students are out of the classroom including those at west chester university. professors members of the association of state college and university faculties walked off the job wednesday morning. contract negotiations with the state system of higher education broke down over curriculum issues, healthcare and salary. well, craft beers are all the rage right now and eagles fans cannot stop talking about carson wentz.
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>> so a local brewery decided to put the two together. straight ahead, heading to the village idiot brewing company the new batch of beer and how the brewy got the unique name. >> 'tis the season for candy. survey is out on the most popular treat state by state. wait until you hear what tops the list in pennsylvania, datey. >> it's been a warm recor record-breaking stress but we have changes on the way. our next front approaching from the west i'll tell when you this rain gets into our area and when it's going to feel like no better than the 40s this weekend. that's coming up at the 7 day forecast. >> and why hundreds gathered in a popular philadelphia park to smoke we'd. that's when eyewitness news continues. that's when eyewitness news continues. we'll be back.
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dear fellow citizen, time spent with my son really makes me appreciate "the now". but i also have to plan for my family's future. and that means taking on debt. in a smart way. like my mortgage - it's working for me. and if he needs a college loan down the road, that'll be worth it too. it's all about having a strategy, that fits your life. so, if you have a question about how to make debt work for you, ask me. sincerely, brandon heaven fellow dad and fellow citizen.
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about how to make debt work for you, ask me. is >> halloween is right around the corner and what would it be without a little candy. a survey shows the top fleets each state. here in pennsylvania, chocolate is not the sweetest choice
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[ doorbell ] if there there was a time to sea your sweet tooth halloween would be it. >> what do you hope land in your back or gets leftover. >> reeces, snickers, skittles, m&ms, the classic. >> a new survey byproduct review site found common ground after surveying 40,000 users the site compiled list of state by state halloween favorites. in pennsylvania, swedish fish swan swam to the open. it's a big seller. >> in new jersey sour patch beat out traditional sweets. >> and in delaware three musketeers took no prisoners. >> who did the survey. >> the same one that found ebb hob larone are for californiaians. >> lifesavers. >> fruity kind or minutey kind? >> adding to confusion the candy of choice in the most number of states popular yet
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poll arizeing candy corn. >> it's the best thing about candy and corn combined. okay. well, that's being hotly debated on social media by the way along with rest of study's findings. if there's something we take seriously in this country it's candy. >> i'm a candy corn kind of guy and kit-kat bar. >> because hershey is the sweetest place on earth. >> about 200 people showed up on an event called a popup weed garden. it marks two year anniversary of decriminalization of parj marriage in philadelphia. time for a taste of torey. featuring a brew that honors philly teams. >> how a local brewery decided to cavlt a beer in honor of war son went.
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>> let's talk suds, ladies and gents. point and growlers are topped off with fresh aland brews. >> we do a peanut butter porter. >> banana bread. >> anything goes village idiot brewing company. >> that's how the place got a name after a foolish mistake he and his partner made when they decided to get their first bank loan. >> we showed up a week late. >> redeeming in self sense ever changing list of craft peers has a huge following and it's grown bigger since eagles fans got whipped of new batch inspired by quarterback carson wentz. >> i saw an article in the paper carson was at belgium
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cafe and gwynn staff anya would be a nice name for a pier. >> we traveled as far away as north dakota. >> one of the guys working here picked up the phone and he said it's a guy from north dakota. he said i would like that went beer shipped up here. because carson our pride and joy. >> since this special wheat batch won'ting released until eagles play vikings it's a taste tease for now. >> that smells good. >> we're waiting on carson then. >> yes. >> he said he would be here right? >> yes. >> stand ago around like a bunch of idiots. >> right i'm sure he's working hard on the game plan for the weekend. >> cheers. >> in the meantime. >> cheers. >> cheers. >> cheers success. >> cheers to us all. >> gwynn stefana.
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>> it's a nice fit. >> i thought he said gwynn stephani. >> i was sitting here thinking how many beers could i put the name in. >> i love a good pun you guys. >> the cricket. >> sorry. >> it's all right i'll stick with what i'm good at. a record breaking stretch we've had for two days broken records. not so much anymore. get ready for a big chill coming in this weekend. it feels completely different outside saturday than it has been feeling this week. and this week has been so far above average and saturday below average that the difference will be more of a slap in the face. let's take a look outside. i want to show you quickly the shore shot. not a beautiful shot or anything like that we're looking at fog and that's when i want to draw your attention to. it's foggy down the shore and we're dealing with patchy fog overnight to tomorrow morning. so you may have slow downs especially if out early for friday morning commute.
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quick look at storm scan three shows a front out west producing severe thunderstorms over north central pennsylvani pennsylvania, williamsport area around interstate 80 staying away from us for now. you can see trajectory for this front. it's an interesting setup. we have the front and it looks again robust with lots of rain. this will start to tilt negatively and we'll see it really take almost a south to north shape tomorrow. very, very slow progress and continues to guilt and will rotate out during the day saturday. this is not a quick hitting front sometimes a line of thunderstorms and showers come through and this hangs around a little while, late tomorrow to first part of saturday. in the meantime, temperatures still made outside, 68 atlantic city. and cape may at the airport in philadelphia just dropped below 70 mark midnight and in reading at the whitfield elementary school 59. big temperatures swings. characterized by average high
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65. how do we get averages, highs and lows. and not a record today but by saturday season's coldest air arrives in philadelphia. >> and it will do so with wet weather that is starting to move in along that same front and also very strong gusty winds. that didn't want to load for me but i tell you tomorrow after into saturday morning scattered showers and pockets of steadier rain and wind picking up saturday at noon winds will gust, 30 u. 35 miles in an power. tomorrow afternoon feels mitd to upper 70s. one the front comes through saturday 11 a.m. feels 30s and 40s and does not feel better than low to mid 40s all day saturday thanks to the wind and showers. overnight cloudy and mild with areas of fog. for tomorrow morning fog giving way to scattered showers in the afternoon and evening. tomorrow is still mild. like we said, 74. about ten above average and saturday 58. that is totally misleading.
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it won't feel warmer than 145 at any point during the day. whipped, surround is betser for eagles game and monday nice and tuesday. wednesday, highs in the 50s. >> it will kick in soon. >> summer flirtation is over. >> i'm over the winter alread already. >> come on, don. >> who is this man. >> hockey weather. >> we'll talk about the fliers as well. it was not typical home on for fly guys. why tonight's game was social for orange and black and fans in the stands.
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afoot and light-hearted i take to the open road. healthy, free, the world before me, the long brown path before me leading wherever i choose. the east and the west are mine. the north and the south are mine. all seems beautiful to me. >> 1966 it all started for the flyers. the team celebrating its 50th anniversary during home-opener against the anaheim ducks.
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the game a pregame ceremony by the team honoring all those flyers that pass away in the 50 years of franchise. but also honoring founder, ed snyder. raising name to raft terz his seat in owners box left vaikd. now for the game. second period. we go. flyers down 1-0. wayne simmonds third of the year and we're tied at one. later in the period. fly guy striking again this time matt read, there you are, with your fourth goal of the year. 2-1 flyers game tied in the third. and ducks it's ryan garbett if if i canning up first goal of surprise and buzz kill in south philadelphia. flyers lose tonight 3-9 fine wall to regulation losses in the aa row for the flyers. >> two too many. you lose one game you should be able to hopefully turn it off. we're in a little hole there's no need to papic here. >> we're plague good hockey
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tonight. there's things we can do bette better. we wake up tomorrow and get going with a confident group and it's a tough game fwrun saturday and we have to get our foyk us on inside information. espionage. these are things that can get you behind bars for a long tim time. nfl, not so much. players that changed teams are ovrp intear gated and new squad wants all the information they can get on old team bradford knows doug pederson's system. remember he was named starter until traded 8 days before the season. is he giving vikings information on the bird. no. is it an issue. a in ah. >> he could focus on all our keep edges.
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you're so focused on your job as an individual and you don't want to take away. you go out there and compete and perform at a high level. i'm pretty sure he's focused on next few. >> or here's the play book, here you go. >> i did not realize that. that made sense. >> dlots that sholly. >> how is me new. >> a twiingt cruise nights
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and so when i saw that, that was completely disqualifying. i'm a republican, but this election is so much bigger than party. my son max can't live in trump world. so i'm crossing party lines and voting for hillary. i don't always agree with her, but she's reasonable. and she's smart. she can work with people to solve problems. i want to be able to tell my kids that i did the right thing when it really mattered. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message.
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i've always taken on the status quo. in harrisburg, they didn't like it when i stopped their perks and pushed for reform. as head of pennsylvania's third-largest county, i cut out wall street middlemen to protect pensions. now, as chairman of the pennsylvania commission on crime, i'm leading the fight to stop the epidemic of heroin and opioid abuse. as attorney general, i'll prosecute anyone who scams our seniors. and i'll hold the oil and gas companies accountable to keep our drinking water safe. i'm josh shapiro. i'll be an attorney general who always fights for you.
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>> college takes a a pink mraer in the fight for breast cancer. . the pink light is remind to schedule a mammogram. this pink toyota camary was there tonight. all october long when you see the pink camary snap a selfie and share via facebook, instagram or twitter using #pinktoyota. for every photo shared they'll donate $1 to susan komen up top 5 sglous wul trade the short sleeves for swaert shirts this weekend. look at highs on saturday in poconos. only in the 40s all day long it will feel like 30s moist of the day. in city high of 68 feel no
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better than with gusty whipped and showers. same story at the shore.
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afoot and light-hearted i take to the open road. healthy, free, the world before me, the long brown path before me leading wherever i choose. the east and the west are mine. the north and the south are mine. all seems beautiful to me. when government bureaucrats refused to approve a cancer vaccine equally for both girls and boys, i stepped in to change that rule. when my own party held up recovery funds after sandy hit us, i took them on and won. and when veterans were forced to travel out of state for health care, i brought in new local clinics and expanded services. but there's much more to do. my mission is to protect south jersey's way of life. i'm frank lobiondo and i approve this message.
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i would support legislation in pennsylvania that would ban abortion and i would suggest we have penalties for doctors who perform them. would you put people in jail for performing abortions? at some point doctors performing abortions i think would be subject to that sort of penalty. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising.
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>> thanks for staying up late with us. for kate, don, jessica who is off, everyone here, i'm ukee washington. >> remember ear always on cbs the late show with stephen colbert is next with tiger woods. >> have a good night family, and sleep well. >> have a good night family, and sleep well. take care.
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captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: elijah wood! so great to have you on the show! >> i'm happy to be here stephen... again. >> stephen: you were on this show before? >> yep. >> stephen: you sure? >> there's video tape of it. >> stephen: a lot of guests come through here. >> it was only a few months ago, stephen. >> stephen: mmm -- you stopped by to tell me how great it was to have me on the show. >> stephen: doesn't sound like me >> well, i don't think i want to say what that says about a host who can't remember his guests. >> stephen: i say, i would love for you to say what is says, and then i'll say what is say
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>> something about a guest who isn't going to say what it says. >> say it! >> stephen: it says you're uncool. >> this is a vintage sweater. i challenge you to settle this like gentlemen! ♪ ♪ ( shouting ) (two months later) >> stephen: elijah, great to have you on the show. >> i've been here a couple times, stephen. >> stephen: are you sure? >> remember i was on that one time, and then i came on again and we argued about you not remembering the first time? >> stephen: no, sorry. >> and then we jousted? >> stephen: uhhhh... no. >> you still have a lance sticking out of your gut.
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>> stephen: that's always been there. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight stephen welcomes tiger woods, elijah wood and jorge ramos, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey! thank you, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: jon batiste, everybody! ( cheers and applause )
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welcome to "the late show"! thank you so much! good to see you! ( piano riff ) hi, everybody! thank you so much! awfully nice. awfully nice. ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. everybody feeling all right? ( cheering ) >> stephen: thank you so much for your energy. we have a trump hangover. we are all still recovering from last night's third and final debate, if there is a god. now, everybody's wondering who won. well, cnn named the winner hours before the debate began. they say it was excedrin, for their tweet, "the possibility of a debate headache is high, be prepared with excedrin."
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cute. of course, after watching the debate, we know the real winner was: "nyquil-- sweet darkness of sleep, it's your only escape." the polls say clinton won, but trump is no longer accepting the polls or really anything else because this is what he said. last night, when chris wallace asked him if he would accept the election results. >> what i'm saying is that, i'll tell you at the time. i'll keep you in suspense. >> stephen: yes, suspense. that's presidential. it reminds me of fdr's first inaugaral -- >> the only thing we have to fear is... stay tuned to find out! ( dramatic music ) >> stephen: yeah! yeah! got chills. didn't know. didn't know.
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spoiler alert. it was nazis. ( laughter ) now, a lot of people say not promising to accept the results disqualifies trump from the presidency. so, today, trump assured voters that he believes in the peaceful transfer of power. >> ladies and gentlemen, i want to make a major announcement today. i would like to promise and pledge to all of my voters and supporters and to all of the people of the united states that i will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election. if... i... win. ( audience reacts )
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>> stephen: ha-ha! oh, come on! you got to give it to him! you know, you really got me for a second there! i actually believed you had a shred of integrity. what an amazing psych-out. it's like that classic joke where you offer to shake somebody's hand, but when they go to shake it, you undermine our system of government. ( laughter ) so, how did we get to the point where the fate of the american experiment rests in donald trump's tiny, whining, loser hands? ( cheers and applause ) truly. truly, the (bleep) has grabbed us. ( laughter )
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( cheers and applause ) watch it. and undermining 250 years of representative democracy to protect his ego wasn't trump's only contribution to the debate. listen to what he said about mexican immigrants. >> we're going to get them out and secure the border and, once the border is secured, at a later date, we'll make a determination as to the rest. but we have some bad hombres here, and we're gonna get them out. >> stephen: yeah, bad hombres. i think he thinks he's running for sheriff. we got hombres, mu chachos, compadres, quesadillas. ( laughter ) i am actually kind of surprised that trump didn't do better because he prepared. trump held practice debates with chris christie playing the role of hillary clinton. so trump was ready, if hillary started weeping quietly while she handed him his mcdonald's order.
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of course, hillary also had her moments. here's what she said about her tax plans -- >> we are going to go where the money is. >> stephen: and she knows where the money is. it's where she gives her speeches. now, say hello to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: yeah! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: oh, well, it's been an upsetting campaign, hasn't it, jon? >> we have to deal with it, but it's only four years. >> stephen: we're just a few weeks from election day which means it's time for every american to perform their civic
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duty, threatening to move to canada if their candidate doesn't win. this happens every four years. canada is like america's safety school. i thought, what would it take if you wanted to move to canada. jim? i met with toronto-based canadian immigration lawyer, andrew cumming, to find out how to turn over a new maple leaf. thanks so much for talking to me today. >> pleasure to meet you. >> stephen: so what do we got here? ask away, on behalf of my audience. >> so, your name, exactly as it appears on your passport. >> stephen: it's stephen colbert. c-o-l-b-e-r-t. >> stephen, do you have any nicknames? >> stephen: oh, let's see: steve, steve-a-rino, eightball, hambone, brangelina. >> stephen, how old are you? >> stephen: how old do you think i am? don't worry about my feelings.
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just shoot from the hip. you're not going to, you're not going to. you're not going to hurt. whatever you want. what do you think? how old do you think i am? >> 52. >> stephen: okay, ( bleep ) you. all right. i mean, i apologize. i mean, correct. i mean, good for you. good for canada, you. >> sex? >> stephen: sure, yeah. let's do it. >> i'll take that as male. >> stephen: what? >> color of your eyes? >> stephen: tell me what color they are. do you remember? >> dark brown. >> stephen: okay, pretty good. you are a very attentive lover. your eyes are beautiful, they are like jade. >> thank you. >> stephen: like polished jade, like precious stones that i found in a tomb in a forgotten valley somewhere in mongolia. and as i held the glistening stones in my hands and run the fresh spring water over them to reveal their agate glory... >> that will not assist you in the application. let's move along. >> stephen: will not, okay. you do have beautiful eyes. >> thank you. any criminal issues we need to be aware of?
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>> stephen: not that you need to be aware of. >> any concerns with war crimes or crimes against humanity? >> stephen: i'm not concerned at all. >> and no previsions convictions? >> stephen: convictions? yes. >> stephen: no. >> excellent. so then, i need you to sign this paper work. and, do you have a photo? we need immigration pictures. >> stephen: okay, i got one. i got one right here. >> um, stephen your eyes are not brown in that picture. >> stephen: nope, they're not. the lighting is bad in here. but this is what i look like when i am properly lit, in canada. >> so, stephen, let's assume we can get you permanent residency in canada. if you want to move to canada, i have to warn you that there will eventually be a citizenship test in order for you to become a canadian citizen. >> stephen: okay. >> and i think it would be worthwhile to go through some of the questions, for you to get a bit of the flavor for what is involved. are you ready for that? >> stephen: i am in. >> how are members of parliament chosen? >> stephen: oh, umm-- lumberjack competition?
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the octagon? the canadian octagon? >> no. >> stephen: two men enter, one man apologizes? >> no! ( laughs ) >> stephen: no? sorry. >> let's move on. let's try this one. name two canadian symbols. >> stephen: the maple leaf, and the barenaked lady. >> ( breaths in ) i am going to give you half a check for that. >> stephen: okay, great, all right. things are turning around now. >> ahhh-- what are the three branches of government? >> what are the three branches of government? >> stephen: umm, the n.h.l., tim hortons and alan thicke. >> i will have to give x, x and x to that. >> stephen, what are the three responsibilities of citizenship? >> stephen: to defend the queen, for some reason. um, protecting children from wandering polar bears; adding unnecessary "u"s to words like flavor and color; and you must be able to sing at least one
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gordon lightfoot song at karaoke. >> can you do that? >> stephen: name one! >> "the wreck of the edmond fitzgerald." >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ the legend lives on from the chippewa on down, of the big lake they called gitche gumee ♪ what else? name it. >> "sundown." >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ sundown ♪ you better take care ♪ if i find you been creepin' 'round my back stairs ♪ >> i am very impressed. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ if i could read your mind, love ♪ ♪ what a tale ♪ it was ten degrees or colder, down by bolder dam that day i heard you talking in your sleep ♪ ♪ that's right, yes i heard you call ♪ >> okay. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ carefree highway, let me slip away on ♪ ♪ second cup of coffee and i still can't face the day ♪ >> that is impressive. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ through the woodlands, through the valley comes a horseman wild and free ♪ ♪ tilting at the windmills passing ♪ ♪ who can the brave young horseman be ♪ >> i am going to give you a check for that. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪i heard you talking in the night ♪ ♪ that's right, yes i heard ya call ♪ ♪ but i could hardly hear the name you spoke ♪ ♪ that's a name i don't recall
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heartbreaking, how come people don't sing more gord? come on, i am a canadian! i bet justin trudeau couldn't name that many gordon lightfoot songs-- i can sing them, baby! >> that was very, very impressive. >> stephen: thank you, thank you very much. so, am i a citizen now? >> not quite a citizen. in fact, not even a permanent resident. but we would love to have you. >> stephen: well, andrew, i would love to be had. thank you so much. canada, here i come! maybe. we'll see what happens on november 8. >> good luck! >> stephen: thank you, canada! we'll be right back with tiger woods! ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back,
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everybody! ( cheers and applause ) my first guest tonight is a golf legend and pop culture icon. he has 14 majors, 11 p.g.a. player of the year awards and 20 years of the tiger woods foundation. ladies and gentleman, please welcome tiger woods! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: everybody's excited to see tiger woods. not a lot of times to friends call me up and say, can i come to the show. allot of the time it's a big band and tiger woods. you are an event. >> i don't know about that. >> stephen: no, you are if someone cares about golf.
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>> that's a good point. >> stephen: otherwise, people go, seems like a nice enough guy, why is everybody so excited. >> yeah. >> stephen: 14 majors, 79 pga tour wins, only missed 15 cuts in over 300 pga tour events. that's a 95% ratio of making the kurt there. jordan speef is only 22. he missed more cuts than you have. did you call him up and talk to him? >> no, that's 15 too many. >> stephen: all right. so when are you getting back to golf? because you have been teasing us here with the idea -- >> yeah, i hear ya. >> stephen: you're supposed to play the safeway open. >> right. >> stephen: you said you're healthy but your game's not there. where's your game? >> my game is coming. it's getting there. i'm not quite there where i can shoot. i feel like i can shoot 63s and 64s in tournaments. i'm shooting low rounds at home but i don't feel i'm ready to
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shoot those types scores in tournament conditions. >> stephen: you were going to play turkish airlines, not going to do that. next one the hero world challenge which you're hosting. >> yes. >> stephen: i'm buying my airline tickets. you will actually play? >> i'll be there playing. >> stephen: okay ( cheers and applause ) now that we've got upeverybody excited for you coming back, why come back? ( laughter ) you've done it all! you've got nothing left to prove. >> i love competing. i love playing. >> stephen: reel lie? i love trying to beat these boys, it's fun. >> stephen: and they are kind of boys compared to you because it will be 20 years since you absolutely destroyed everybody at the masters. >> i was giving jordan pretty good grief at the ryder cup because when i won the masters, he was still in diapers. >> stephen: not a metaphor. no. i have been doing this for a while, but i love being out
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there and competing, i love trying to win golf tournaments and competing at the highest level. >> stephen: are you ever tempted to retire to you can do what retirees do and play golf? ( laughter ) because that's win-win, tiger woods. >> well, here's the deal, golf, when we want to relax to go fishing, what do fishermen do to relax? >> stephen: stop fishing. top fishing. okay. >> stephen: so how long has it been since you played in a pga tournament? >> it's been august, over a year. >> stephen: so anything about your time off, has it been humbling to you about your time not playing? >> yeah, i've had two back surgeries since then and, you know, i like to practice and compete all day. that's one of my things. i like to dpriend it out, but the thing is i wasn't able to do that on the golf course. so i applied my same intensity in my craft, my focus to call of
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duty. ( laughter ) don't laugh. ( applause ) ly spend eight -- i will spend eight hours a day, get a 30 minute lunch break, be in my reclining grandpa chair playing. i thought i was good because i got through the campaigns, no big deal, and went online. when 7-year-olds are beating you from around the world, humbling. >> stephen: time to stop. by the way, i like the beard. >> talk about three -- took about three and a half months to grow. >> stephen: really? you look like tiger woods' evil twin right now. you can psych out your opponent with that. >> i'm half asian, so it doesn't quite fill in through here. but i can get this thing going. >> stephen: okay. something like that. >> get a little twirl to it, yeah. >> stephen: i have to ask you one question about your ex-wife. you told "time magazine," less than a year ago, that she is one of your best friends.
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how is that possible? keeping your ex-wife your best friend, given how that ended, my trend -- >> right. >> stephen: -- that's more impressive than being 11 time pga player of the year. ( applause ) ( laughter ) ♪ >> stephen: honest to god, how did you guys work it out? >> you know, it becomes two simple things, okay, is that we have sam and we have charlie, and we love them so much, we're going to do whatever it takes to make that work. ( applause ) >that's how it happened, and she's been one of my best friends. i've talked to her about so many different things and she does a does same thing with me, we go back and forth. we communicate so much better now, it's incredible. i wish we had done that earlier on, but it's been incredible to have a best friend like that. >> stephen: all right.
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well, that's good to know. i want to talk about your foundation. we have to take a lilt break but back with more tiger woods. ♪ ( cheers and applause )


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