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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  January 25, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am EST

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>> this summer, see the movie white people at the golden globes were talking about. >> you're not listening to me. i'm trying to explain it to you the best way i know how... a fence does not go into space! >> hidden fences. >> can i have everyone's attention for a moment? thank you. they're going to be asking us questions about our work. i think that's pretty reasonable, giving that we're taking a fence and shooting it into space and that's never been done before. >> based on the true story of people who think all movies about black people are the same movie. starring black actors, black actresses, kevin costner, and introducing... a fence. if movies starring black people confuse you, then this is the film you've got to see.
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>> mr. zalinkski, i'm a negro woman, i'm not going to entertain the impossible. >> and i am a polish jew, standing next to a fence that will be traveling to the stars! >> "hidden fences," based on a true story. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. tonight stephen welcomes billy joel and josh holloway, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey! thank you so much! thank you, sir! hey, jon! what's up?
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good to see ya. welcome to the late show. ( applause ) i'm so glad to be here. i'm your host stephen colbert. i'm so excited. tonight we've got the great billy joel here tonight. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ we've got a special dome here tonight for billy joel, the piano man. ( cheers and applause ) we've got a special dome here look at that. isn't that beautiful? anybody watch the golden globes last night? ( cheers and applause ) i didn't because it wasn't on cbs and i was testing all of you. failed. i hear it was pretty good. there were a lot of great movies this year, but there were two movies that got confused last night twice, "hidden figures" and "fences," creating a fun new mash-up. >> so you're nominated for "hidden fences." >> for best supporting actress
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in a motion picture, here are the nominees. octavia spencer, "hidden fences." ( laughter ) >> jon: oh! oh! >> stephen: i think it's obvious why these are the two nominated films that got mixed up. both had their a.d.r. mixing done by sound man chris navarro. ( laughter ) huge navarro heads. >> jon: yeah, yeah. >> stephen: plus, all the african-american presenters kept saying "manchester by the lala land," so it's fair. but the real star of the night and every night in my opinion was meryl streep-- ( cheers and applause ) -- who won a lifetime achievement award and stole the show with her acceptance speech. >> but there was one performance this year that stunned me. it was that moment when the person asking to sit in the most
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respected seat in our country imitated a disabled reporter, someone he outranked in privilege, power, and the capacity to fight back. disrespect invites disrespect. violence incites violence. when the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose. >> stephen: yes, we all lose, except donald trump who won. ( laughter ) of course, president-elect trump was too focused on defeating isis and creating jobs to pick a fight with a celebrity. ( laughter ) just kidding, trump tweeted: "meryl streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in hollywood..." wait a second, i'm sorry, what?! ( audience booing ) what?! what did you just say? meryl streep overrated?
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have you seen "sophie's choice?" have you seen "the french lieutenant's woman?" have you seen that one with the dead people that she's even funny in that one? ( laughter ) look, mr. trump. you can refuse to release your taxes, you can call to ban an entire religion, you can play footsie with a dictator, but calling meryl streep overrated? no! ( applause ) no! too far! ♪ ♪ you know, i wasn't going to go to that million woman march, but now i am. ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm going to go now. this is it. it's going to be a million meryl march. i'll be the one holding the blu- ray of kramer vs. kramer and weeping. ( laughter ) and in response to all this, this morning, trump spokeswoman and future award-winning meryl streep role kellyanne conway weighed in on the reporter controversy by explaining we
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shouldn't get hung up on little things like what donald trump says and does. >> you can't give him the benefit of the doubt on, on this? and he's telling you what was in his heart? you always want to go by what's come out of his mouth rather than what's in his heart! >> stephen: yes, stop listening to his mouth and stop making fun of what's in his heart. that would be cruel because his heart is severely disabled. ( applause ) it is medically incapable of empathy. come on! of course, for months, we've been talking about how somebody hacked our election and donald trump had his theory of who that was. >> i mean, it could be russia, but it could also be china. it could also be lots of other people. it also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay? >> stephen: well it turns out trump was right to blame a 400- pound man sitting on a bed, assuming putin sleeps with his horse.
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( laughter ) because, on friday, the director of national intelligence released a report that found that putin ordered the effort to undermine faith in the election and help trump. apparently, after russia was embarrassed by the olympic doping scandal, putin wanted to discredit the image of the united states and cast it as hypocritical. hey, putin, we don't need any help looking hypocritical. okay? we're the country that invented both chili cheese fries and open heart surgery. we got this one. ( laughter ) well, after months of denying it, trump now accepts that the russians hacked our election. and he knows exactly who to blame -- "gross negligence by the democratic national committee allowed hacking to take place." he went on to say that all bank robberies are the banks' fault, and if people didn't want to get stabbed, why does their ribcage make such a sturdy knife holder? ( laughter ) ( applause )
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now this russian hack is disturbing, you know it's a little upsetting, but trump's chief of staff reince priebus, says there's a thing that everyone needs to understand. >> here's the thing that i think everyone needs to understand -- when, when this whole thing started, it started from the russians, 50 years ago. in other words, this is something that's been going on in our elections for many, many years. it happens, every election period. >> stephen: yes, don't worry. it happens. the russians have always picked our presidents. who can forget the famous headline "putin defeats truman." and, besides, according to trump adviser kellyanne conway, this hacking is not a bad thing. >> all of this amounts to a very
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simple fact, which is that alleged attacks, alleged and aspirations to interfere with our democracy failed and they failed and we know that because donald trump won. >> stephen: yes, donald trump one. america, zero. ( cheers and applause ) speaking of trump and his family, did you hear the breaking news today about jared kushner? kushner, of course, is trump's son-in-law, don't know if you guys heard about this, he's also america's worst-selling brand of marijuana. ( laughter ) do not smoke the jared kushner. and according to people close to trump, kushner will be named a senior advisor to the president. the pick makes sense -- trump and his son-in-law see eye to eye on a lot of issues. for instance, they both think ivanka is hot. ( laughter ) but-- based on a true story, that joke.
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( laughter ) but trump hiring his son-in-law is raising a lot of questions, like "is this legal?" and "does trump know anyone who's not in his family?" ( laughter ) speaking of sources of shame for new york city, any giants fans here? no? ashamed to admit it? it was a brutal game last night. the giants lost to the green bay packers 38 to 13. eli manning could not get anything going, odell beckham jr. kept dropping passes, and the defense even let aaron rodgers throw a hail mary. luckily, new york fans are used to being embarrassed, since we also have the jets. ( laughter ) some angry giants fans are now pointing to this photo of several players on a boat in miami last week, saying they should have been focused on the game. instead, yesterday, the players on that boat had a combined three dropped passes, and two of them would have been for touchdowns, just think, if they had caught those touchdowns, the
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giants would have lost by only 11 points. way better. and it doesn't help when you zoom in to that photo you can see eli manning water skiing behind the boat on top of two dolphins wearing a shirt that says "i don't care about football"! ( laughter ) we've got a great show for you tonight, billy joel is here! stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. gentle, non-habit forming advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. like paperless, multi-car, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. any questions?
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-yeah. -how do you go to the bathroom? great. any insurance-related questions? -mm-hmm. -do you have a girlfriend? uh, i'm actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly $600 when they switch, so... where's your belly button? [ sighs ] i've got to start booking better gigs. [ sighs ] then shielding lubrication. and cooling. brrr. with lubrication before and after the blades. shields and cools while you shave. proshield chill from gillette. ♪
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♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for jon batiste and
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stay human! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ you look like you're riding a tilted pony. that's very nice. >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: well folks, my first guest tonight has sold over 150 million records, has six grammy awards, a tony award, a kennedy center honor and is in both the rock and roll songwriter's halls of fame. please welcome the one, the great, billy joel! ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome. >> i saw that.
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very good. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the show. >> thanks. >> stephen: nice to have you on. wow. billy joel. i don't know how to explain to you what an important thing this is for me to have you on the show. i mean, you name any one of your songs, i can sing every single one of your hits from beginning to end without pause. >> okay. >> stephen: "piano man." ♪ sing us a song, you're the piano man ♪ ♪ i'm in a new york state of mind ♪ ♪ i love you just the way you are ♪ ♪ i'm moving out ♪ only the good die young ♪ always a woman to me ♪ you get to be a big shot ♪ you may be right ♪ still rock and roll to me ♪ don't ask me why ♪ living here in allentown ♪ tell her about it
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♪ uptown girl ♪ for the longest ♪ i'm the entertainer ♪ she's got a way ♪ i'm going to wait for you ♪ she cuts you once, cuts you twice ♪ ♪ rosalinda's eyes ♪ 52nd street. ♪ sometimes the fantasy. sleeping with the television on ♪ all go down together ♪ in the middle of the night ♪ we didn't start the fire ( cheers and applause ) >> pretty good. >> stephen: just think what a great song-- what a great song it would be just to put all the titles of your songs together. >> that's pretty good. you should come to the garden and do that one night. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i'm there. now, we think of you starting off your career as the piano man, a little smoky bar, but you play just huge stadiums now. for the whole last 20 years of your career, you're the only guy to play wrigley, fenway and citizens park in philly, four
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years in a row selling all those stadiums out. you just announced shows 86 and 87 of having performed at madison square garden. you're like artist in residence at madison square garden, you sell it out in three minutes. what's it like? ( applause ) i will eventually let you talk in this interview, i promise you, but what is it like to play for 20,000 people on a piano? >> it's a hoot, man. it's a lot of fun. it's a good job. i picked a great job. >> stephen: do you have to change the way you perform for a stadium as opposed to, you know, a room this size? >> you have to throw it a little more in a stadium. we played in wembley in london and 62,000 people there and that's three times madison square garden so you have to kind of project more and give it a little more english because it's england. >> stephen: of course.
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well, this is the stage, this was the stage of the ed sullivan show, the ed sullivan theater. do you remember seeing the beatles on here? i know they were a big influence on you. >> oh, yeah. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: were you sitting at home with your family, watching tv? >> i didn't have a tv at home. the tv broke in my house when i was about two years old, so i went to somebody else's house to watch tv, and the beatles were on. 1964, february, i remember that. also, it was three months after john f. kennedy has been assassinated, so the country had the blues, everybody was kind of down in the dumps, he was, like, our guy and they took him away. and then these four guys came from england with weird hair, wrote their own songs, arranged their own music, played their own instruments, and the country went crazy, we all went nuts, okay, those are the guys, those are ours. it was a really exciting time. >> stephen: how old were you when that happened? >> 14. >> stephen: and were you already playing piano at the time?
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>> yeah, i had been taking lessons since i was like four. but i didn't want to be a classical pianist. that wasn't in my cards. >> stephen: but you've composed classical music before. i heard you often start with a classical motif when you're writing one of your songs and then you rock it up. >> i love classical music. but i fell in love with rock and roll when i was a teenager. the beatles kind of kicked me into doing that. i saw them and i said, that could be done. they didn't look like they were manufactured in hollywood. they weren't movie star looking guys, they were from liverpool which sounds even worse than where i'm from, hicksville. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you're hicksvillian. now, you also, you've become friends with mccartney. >> yes. >> stephen: and you closed shea stadium with him. >> yeah. >> stephen: they played shea back in 64, right? >> they kicked the door open. they played that stadium first. >> stephen: well, what was that like? you closed out shea stadium with him. >> yeah, they were going to
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close down the shea stadium and i called paul and asked him if he wanted to come because you guys opened it up. i've known him since the '80s i guess, when my first daughter alexa was a little girl, paul used to see us at a party or something out in the hamptons and he'd say, oh, alexa, it's your uncle pauley, come here, come here, uncle pauley. he's, like, a real dad and she would scream, didn't know who he was. and i'm going, it's paul mccartney! come here, it's your uncle pauley. so i've known him for a long time and i called and asked him if he could come to the shea show and he had visitation with his own daughter. i said, i understand visitation, i get it, i have been married four times, i understand visitation. >> stephen: four times? >> yeah, may the fourth be with me. ( cheers and applause ) so he said he had a visitation
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and i said i understand, he wasn't going to make it. and then as we were playing shea and we're coming to the end of the show, the second show we did, all of a sudden my road crew guys come over to me and said, he's on his way. i said, who's on his way? the eagle has landed. and we were getting to where we're going to do piano man, and all of a sudden i look over on the side of the stage and there is paul mccartney walking on the stage tuning his hofner bass with a butter knife. i said, this is bizarre, this is insane. and he came on, we played a couple of songs and ended the show by doing "let it be" which is poetic justice, i think. ( applause ) >> stephen: well, we'll take a little break here and be right back with more billy joel. stick around. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're back here with our friend billy joel. you have not put out a pop album since 1993. >> correct. >> stephen: billy joel, you were really good at writing songs. why not give us more billy joel songs? because you're selling out the stadiums. how about some fresh meat? ( laughter ) >> i thought i'd had my say. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. i just said, yeah, okay, just shut up now. i put out 12 albums. how many albums did the beatles put out, 12 albums? >> stephen: yeah. >> that's a nice round number, i'll stop. >> stephen: elton john said you should put out more albums. >> i told him he should put out less albums. ( applause ) >> stephen: what's a big show-- when you were a kid, do you remember big shows, big concerts that were formative for you?
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>> yeah, i snuck in to see jimi hendrix play at the old worlds fairgrounds. it was called the singer bowl back then. i think now it's a tennis stadium. arthur ashe tennis stadium. it was called the singer bowl. we didn't have tickets. it was with another guy who was in my band, and we snuck in by putting cables, holding cables and, you know, talk with english accents, "jimi's got to get his cables, he will be really pissed off." i got to the stage and i kind of bulked my way up to the stage and i was talking with an english accent to all the different security, and we got to the stage and jimi's roadie, road manager, was a guy named keith robinson, famous english roadie, he's been the roadie for every big english band and he looked at me and said, come here, you, you're pretty good. and i said, well, thank you. you're going to help load up jimi's amp. so there we are carrying stacks of marshall amps onto the stage. pretty cool. and i got to watch hendrix.
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>> stephen: he knew you were faking. >> i was faking. >> stephen: but he was like fine with it. >> it was a good fake. he appreciated it. >> stephen: i heard a story. i know you and bruce have become friends. >> i don't know if you can do that anymore. >> stephen: i snuck into paul simon's graceland concert that way. >> really? >> stephen: yeah, back in the '80s i said i was a t-shirt salesman and watched the show from the fly gallery. i don't know if you can do that anymore. the '80s were different. >> yeah, it was. >> stephen: can you explain to me what this is? i understand that this is something to do with bruce springsteen. can i get a shot of this? what is this and why does it have anything to do with bruce springsteen? >> this is the voltage regulator that came off the bike that springsteen broke down on on veterans day. >> stephen: this veterans day? >> this past veterans day, yes, november. i built bruce a couple of bikes. i built him a 650 and i built him a touring bike, a moto guzzi, and this was the voltage
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regulator from the moto guzzi and it pooped out. so bruce got stuck by the side of the road and these guys picked him up and took him where he needed to go. i called up bruce and said, i read you broke down on a bike. was it the bike we built for you? he said, yeah. i said, i'm sorry, man. but it's all fixed up and fine now. >> stephen: good. you do a good mccartney, a good bruce. do you ever do their numbers? >> yeah, all the time. >> stephen: in their voices? yeah, try to. i do tony bennett. >> stephen: you do tony? >> yeah, i used to do joe cocker a lot. >> stephen: what tony song do you do? >> what tony song do i do? ( mimicking tony ) >> stephen: you are beautiful! >> you're beautiful! i love the young people, they got the energy. so much energy, the young people. we would sometimes do a new york state of mind at madison square
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garden and at shea stadium with tony bennett. we would rehearse the ending. okay, here's how it ends. ♪ i'm in a new york state of -- ♪ drum roll ♪ ♪ -- mind got it. got it rehearsed. then we would get to the live show and be, "i'm in a-- i'm in a-- tony would say, new york, new york, greatest city in the world! you're the best town! the best people! we were looking at each other, where is he going? follow tony i just love the energy! energy is great! but tony does what he wants to do. >> stephen: tony bennett. >> i know, so you just follow tony and we got out of it okay. ( laughter ) but you never know. >> stephen: we had bruce on here. i asked him to rank the top five bruce springsteen songs. would you do us the honor of ranking the top five billy joel songs? because people always shout out what they think the best songs are.
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if you were at a billy joel concert and you were yelling out to you, what are the five songs you think. five, four, three, two, one. >> i actually think of it on stage what i want to see me do but i tend to like the album tracks, not the ones that are the hit singles. >> stephen: okay, what have you got? >> i'd say "vienna." >> stephen: great song. i think that's my favorite song of yours. >> you give the audience a choice, do you want "vienna" or "just the way you are," they pick vienna. >> stephen: that's five. four. >> four, "and so it goes." >> stephen: "and so it goes." got it. >> "you may be right." >> stephen: mm-hmm. number two. >> there is an obscure song called "she's right on time." >> stephen: "she's right on time." and can i have a drum roll, please. ( drum roll ) number one billy joel song is. >> "scenes from an italian restaurant." ( cheers and applause )
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>> stephen: you know, i would love to hear some of the stories behind, you know, some of these songs because people think songs mean one thing but in fact we find out the songs mean something totally different to the artist who created them. you've got so many great stories. you're a story teller with your songs. is there any chance we can go to the true stories behind the hits? >> yeah, sure. >> stephen: great. because this is "true stories behind the hits"! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the dark cave that is my studio now. this is true stories behind the hits. billy, what's the first hit that there is a true story behind tonight? >> "only the good die young" was the second title actually. the original was "the evil shall live forever."
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( laughter ) >> stephen: fascinating, billy, fascinating. not many people know this, but billy's doo-wop song "the longest time" was inspired by how long it took his toaster strudel to cool from the microwave. ( laughter ) >> in "just the way you are," when i wrote the line "don't go changing", i was referring to the incredible hulk. >> stephen: most people know that "captain jack" is about a drug dealer billy knew growing up. but his full name was "captain jack crunch" and the drug he was dealing was crunchberries... and heroin. ( laughter ) >> in "tell her about it," the "it" i want him to tell her about is his third nipple. ( laughter ) >> stephen: only fair. it's only fair. in "scenes from an italian restaurant", the "bottle of red" was ketchup, and the "bottle of white" was "horsey sauce."
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and the "italian restaurant" was an arby's. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> piano man was originally about a super hero character, "pianoman!" i wanted to make a movie where he teamed up with elton john's "rocket man" to fight bob dylan's "tambourine-man." ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: i'd watch that. i would see that movie. i would see that movie. the lyrics to "river of dreams" -- "in the middle of the night, i go walking in my sleep... to a river dreams" is about an adult bed wetter. ( laughter ) >> okay. a lot of people-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) a lot of people think "we didn't start the fire" was about cold war anxiety, but i actually wrote it because back then we didn't have wikipedia. so i just wrote one song that
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included everything that happened in history. ( laughter ) >> stephen: thank you for that. >> you're welcome. >> stephen: "miami 2017" was written in 1975 but turned out to be prophetic. it is actually about a bunch of football players partying on a boat instead of practicing. ( applause ) and that was "true stories behind the hits." ( cheers and applause ) ♪ billy, i love the song "miami 2017." is there any chance that we could get you to do that song for us tonight? ( cheers and applause ) >> okay. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. >> stephen: all right. we'll be right back with billy joel. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! you know, folks, billy joel has upcoming tour dates in philadelphia, boston, chicago, cleveland, los angeles, atlanta and of course at madison square garden here in new york city. ladies and gentlemen, billy joel. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ seen the lights go out broadway ♪ i saw the empire state laid low ♪ and life went on beyond the palisades
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♪ they all bought cadillacs ♪ and left there long ago ♪ they held a concert out in brooklyn ♪ to watch the island bridges blow ♪ they turned our power down ♪ and drove us underground ♪ but we went right on with the show ♪ i've seen the lights go out on broadway ♪ i saw the ruins at my feet ♪ you know we almost didn't
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notice it ♪ we'd seen it all the time on forty second street ♪ they burned the churches up in harlem ♪ like in that spanish civil war ♪ the flames were everywhere ♪ but no one really cared ♪ it always burned up there before ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i've seen the lights go out on broadway ♪ i watched the mighty skyline fall ♪ the boats were waiting at the
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battery ♪ the union went on strike ♪ they never sailed at all ♪ they sent a carrier out from norfolk ♪ and picked the yankees up for free ♪ they said that queens could stay ♪ and blew the bronx away ♪ and sank manhattan out at sea ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you know those lights were bright on broadway ♪ that was so many years ago ♪ before we all lived here in florida
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♪ before the mafia took over mexico ♪ there are not many who remember ♪ they say a handful still survive ♪ to tell the world about ♪ the way the lights went out ♪ and keep the memory alive ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> thank you!
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: billy joel, everybody! we'll be right back with josh holloway! stick around! then shielding lubrication. and cooling. brrr. with lubrication before and after the blades. shields and cools while you shave. proshield chill from gillette.
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♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back, folks. you know my next guest tonight as sawyer in "lost." he now stars in the usa network drama, "colony." please welcome josh holloway! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: wow. billy joel was just sitting here, you know. >> stephen: do you feel the greatness? do you feel the greatness in the seat? >> i should probably sit over there, because it's too great for me. >> stephen: that's all right. no, fantastic. who gets to come on and have billy joel open for you? come on! ( laughter )
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>> stephen: this job doesn't suck is what i learn every so often. >> it's kind of good. >> stephen: i have one bone to pick with you. you have a tan. it's january. where have you been? >> i have been in hawaii, my friend. i just got back. >> stephen: you went to visit the smoke monster? >> there they call it paca. >> stephen: they do? >> i'm kidding. >> stephen: i'm not sure i would want to go to the beach after eating over christmas. >> it was a note to self -- do not schedule your beach vacation at the end of the holiday season because you are sporting the dad bod like there's no business, you know. >> stephen: i could go dad bod to dad bod for you. >> dude, ready. >> stephen: buddy, no. i would beat you today, so i'm not going to sport it because i could really get there. so i was sporting the dad bod on the beach before my kids wake up. >> stephen: how old are your kids?
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>> i have a 3-year-old this month, hunter, and java is 7. so i'm building a sand castle, hot. sun comes up and my daughter is, like, dad, put a shirt on. it's, like, why, baby? we're at the beach. you're fat. i'm, like-- >> stephen: is your 7-year-old calling you fat? >> yes. she saw my expression. she goes-- just a little, daddy. just a little. like she's trying to save me from it. at the same time i'm looking down like this and my boy yells at some girl that walks by in a g string, and i'm, like, where did you learn that word? >> stephen: kids are humbling. >> yes! >> stephen: i'm from south carolina.
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you're from georgia, i understand. >> yes. >> stephen: are you from real georgia or are you from, like, atlanta? >> i would be more dirt road and dogs. >> stephen: what part of the state are you from? >> north georgia. >> stephen: up near tennessee, south carolina. >> where we would get our fireworks because they weren't legal. >> stephen: south carolina, we have a death wish, all fireworks are legal in south carolina. >> legal? >> stephen: totally. they're fantastic. >> they have warehouses up there in your part of the woods that you can blow up america. they have, like-- not that we need-- >> stephen: i'm sorry. what was that? ( laughter ) what was that gesture you were just doing? because we can't show that on cbs. i'm going to say that's a rocket. >> that was a rocket, yes. >> stephen: now, the new show you've got on u.s.a. is called "colony" about aliens who have landed in los angeles and they've taken over part of the
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government, right? >> yes. >> stephen: yes? yes. >> stephen: are the aliens more vicious than most people in los angeles? people in hollywood? >> can we say equal? >> stephen: sure, okay. >> so my guy is an f.b.i. agent, and when the walls went up, we had the idea first, bozo. ( laughter ) you know who i'm talking about. nobody. so the walls go up, our family is separated, and my guy is trying to get them back together and survive. so it's centered around a family, but it's a microcosm for the entire planet. >> stephen: do you believe in aliens? >> i do. there must be aliens. look at me. ( laughter ) >> stephen: what about you? only an alien would consider that a dad bod. ( laughter ) >> there has to be aliens, right?
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>> stephen: i would like t0 think there are aliens but why haven't they contacted us yet? >> they're putting in the proxy government now, if you haven't figured that out. >> stephen: possible. thank you for being here. season two of "colony" starts thursday on u.s.a. network. josh holloway, everybody! aliens are real! ♪ ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) goodnight! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight ♪ don't you worry about your ♪ pants smoothie ♪ it will be all right ♪ it's the "late, late show." ladies and gentlemen, all the way from atlantis, minnesota, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden!

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