tv Eyewitness News CBS October 13, 2017 2:22am-2:53am EDT
by sean combs, p. diddy, puff daddy, the p. diddy puff. >> everybody is a monday tor. >> james: is this true, because of him you either don't sleep or you have trouble sleeping srk that right? >> insomniac, yeah t is hard to sleep. the motto is you get enough rest when you are deadment but recently i sent him a text, yeah, keep it going, you know, don't get any sleep until you're dead. he is like that doesn't work any more. >> james: so how many hours of sleep do you get a night. >> with a child who keeps me up until 2 in the morning, sometimes, man, i might get, who knows, like four hours of sleep. >> how can he look like that. >> james: i know, lack at him. >> great, thank my mother, man, thank my mother. >> reggie: >> james: regie, do you have a question for any of our guests tonight? >> reggie: you know it. tonight's question goes to everybody on the couch. if you were playing a board game that created a lot of animosity between friends, would you
attack the friends outside of the game and say never play that game like that or i will excommunicate you or would you just be like if is just a game, come on man. (laughter) >> what? the second one. >> yeah, the second one, whatever that was. >> reggie: i think you're correct. >> james: they're absolutesly correct. please thank our incredible guests, usher, luke ever ans, lindsey buckingham and christine mcvie are here when we come back. 7 ♪ one look at you and i can't disguise ♪ ♪ i've got hungry eyes ♪ applebee's 2 for $20. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood.
helen: fand every year,, we get a giwe split it equally. except for one of us. i write them a poem instead. and one for each of you too. and one for each of you too. helen: cool. that actually yours... that one. yeah. regardless, we're stuck with the bill. to many, words are the most valuable currency. last i checked, stores don't take words. man: some do. oh. (alert beeps) not everyone can be the poetic voice of a generation. i know, right? such a burden. pay back a friend day is october 17th. get the bank of america mobile banking app today.
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here's some bad news. a florida man playing in the swamp was eaten by a 12-footal gator, but the good news is i just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to geico. say hello to dj ed one! ♪ ♪ very funny people here tonight. dean edwards! [ applause ] [ indiscernible ] >> leslie jones! and rob harris! [ applause ] >> are you enjoying the single life? >> well, you know how -- all the single ladies in the house say
hey! what's up, you lonely bitches! ♪ ♪ >> you know! you know that's how we do it, by. i'm single and when we close that door, we be, like, oh! ! >> did you just celebrate a birthday? >> yea, man, but i don't know about celebrating, but i had one. you know you go out to these restaurants and they're i go out to my buddies and they come out and sing the stupid song to you? >> i go to a restaurant by myself to get cheesecake and sweet tea and i look and i look and my server is over there singing to some 88-year-old dude.
he's old -- he's probably dead at the table. he doesn't know the words to the song. he's 88 and to the other people in the restaurant and i'm waiting on my food and my server is over there singing to your old-ass granddaddy. that's how i see it. and then i get kicked out of applebee's. >> one of your kids just celebrated a birthday, right? >> i have two little girls and whether when you see little girls you realize those are two vaginas you have to worry about, you know? for real! men want son, you know what i mean? every man -- i love my daughters to death. they are soldiers and they hold you down, butsome deep down you're, like, come on little boy so you can take credit for something, man, you know? you have a little boy and he's a good athlete and people are like, your son's pretty good.
where do you think he got that from? all i do is get blamed for how bad they act. i was there when the babies came out and my wife was mad because i didn't watch. my wife was, like, why didn't you watch? that's too much information. you never had problems rummaging around. she used the word "rummaging," like it's a luggage rack. i found it! it's here somewhere! and those babies, man, you see them come out and your whole world changes because my wife was screaming, get it out! two and two! and the baby came out and, you know, you see that child come out and she's screaming at the top of her lungs you realize she been lying to you for a long time. my daughter came out 6 pounds, 14 ounces, i guarantee there
ain't a man in here 6 pounds, 14 ounces. i ain't doing no damage. i was there rummaging, don't try to -- [ applause ] >> denzel washington. >> hey, you're watching "comics unleashed" with the man, the myth. stay tuned for more! we'll be right back, don't go away. for more allergies can hold you back. breakthrough with non-drowsy allegra® for fast 5-in-1 multi-symptom relief. breakthrough allergies with allegra®. ready to of your back pain? icyhot lidocaine patch & cream. desensitizes aggravated nerves with the max strength lidocaine available. icyhot lidocaine patch & cream. brushing teeth - easy!
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it's like what sucks is in some parts of america, you know, like black people hate on latinos. that makes no sense to me, you know? i got home boys, all the reason the latinos get right is because what black folks did in the civil rights movement. which is true. but that's the point, civil rights movement. how are you going to get jealous? the i have a dream speech was for all races. >> let me ask you something.
is it always the man's fault? >> no. let me let you know something, ladies, about men. they have a don't give a damn chip installed right here. it's activated as soon as you open up your mouth, okay? you know, as women we hold on to stuff too long. i went out with this guy for three years. great guy, great relationship. he cheated on me. i forgave him. you know we don't forget about that. every time we got into an argument, i brought it right back up. he couldn't get away with nothing. you know we out of cookies? what? did that bitch eat them cookies? [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] you only eat cookies with me. i'm the only cookie eater here
in the house. >> you talking about a good marriage? i heard you was thinking about getting marriage. >> marriage is really nothing more than two people who just agree on a bunch of stuff. that's all any relationship is. you go to church? yeah, i go to church too. okay. well, do you watch movies? yeah, i like movies do. let's have sex. okay. can i really promise to agree with you forever? i can't do that. i don't even know if i like "csi: miami" or "csi: new york." >> i heard you were a big fan of rappers in movies. >> they're doing a "bad boys 3," but they're not bringing back martin lawrence and will smith. they're talking about having y jay-z in there. it's going to be miserable.
jay-z going to be all, how crazy is that? they got guns and everything. denzel washington, oh, you said you want to be actors? don't you come in here and lie to me! and chris rock is the director. cut, cut! what are y'all doing? what the hell are y'all doing? jay-z and 50 cent, 50 and jay, hold up, wait a minute! how the hell you get beyonce with those big ass lips? >> all right. we're going to take a break. we'll be right back. don't go away. if you battle chronic back pain? turn it off, with icy hot® smart relief.