tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS October 25, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
>> the late show with captioning sponsored by cbs temperature in los angeles topped 100 degrees again today and is expected to be hovering near 100 when the first pitch is thrown. tonight's game could be the hottest in world series history. >> it's a real scorcher here at dodger stadium for game two of the world series. >> oh, yeah, it's a hot one. >> there's veteran third base coach yogi greenburg. >> lou, you're an exbaseballat'? >> if i'm reading his sign correctly he's signing, "lay down a bunt and bring me a pitcher of ice water." >> oach ernie ripkens seems to be signing, "i could really use talcum powder." >> i have a historic case of
swamp ass. >> i feel like the melting bad guy in the "indiana jones" movie. >> damn, this global warming. >> i don't know. the science on global warming isn't it yet. >> are younsane? campers could roast marshmallows over my testicles. >> weather is cyclical. >> screw this? >>. i'm going to go coach hockey. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, trump's g.o.p. lovefest. plus stephen welcomes: hugh laurie. gretchen carlson. and ben affleck and michael stevens. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause )
>> stephen: how are you? hey, folks. thanks very much. ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, welcome-- welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) hey, i don't know-- i don't know where you guys live, but you ever see, like a crazy old guy yelling on his front lawn into, like, a crowd of people gather together and start taking pictures and, you know, yelling pictures of him? well, today that lawn was 1600 pennsylvania avenue, because this afternoon, grandpa baggy-suit held an impromptu press yelling next to what sounded like an industrial grain combine. and he had some specific things he wanted to talk about--
specifically, everything. for instance, a lot of people have been talking about the fact that three republican senators-- flake, mccain, and corker-- have called donald trump unfit for office. sure. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: i'm ready, i'm willing, and i'm able. >> stephen: sure, scientists, psychiatrists, human rights activists and world and religious leaders have also said it. but, eventually, republicans catch on. they're late to everything. they just found out about gangnam style. is that it? is that what it is? is that what it is? >> jon: something like that. something like that. >> stephen: but trump claime everybody got along great at yesterday's big republican unity lunch. >> i think we had a tremendous-- i called it a "love fest."
it was almost a love fest. maybe it was a love fest. >> stephen: "maybe a love fest. could have been a friendship orgy, possibly an affectionate ass pile. we're still checking. it was wonderful. it was love-- i-- i." and what is his evidence of this lovefesting? he tweeted that republican senators gave him standing ovations. multiple standing ovations." and "really, they just gave me a standing o!" don't you get it? you're president. they have to stand when you walk in the room. it's part of the gig. that's like saying, "my proctologist likes me so much, he stuck his finger right up my butt, okay? right up-- no co-pay." ( laughter )
"i've never co-payed for it in my life." luncheon, it wasn't just the standing ovations that trump enjoyed. a reporter overheard a member of trump's secret service saying that trump ate rice and two pieces of cherry pie, took a few sips of his drink, and that quote, "he loves rice." ( laughter ) well, of course he loves rice. it's the same reason he loves mike pence: bland and white. ( cheers and applause ). >> jon: oh! >> stephen: and-- sure, sure. we're all adults. and rice and pie? that's what he eats? is he president, or a baby at denny's? "great meeting. fantastic meeting. i got standing ovations. but i was focused on business: finishing my rice so i could have more pie." what does donald trump's food pyramid look like?
pie, rice, steak, ketchup, coke button, and beautiful chocolate cake? ( cheers and applause ) "the most beautiful, unbelievable." ( applause ) meanwhile, back on the white house lawn, trump assured everyone that senator jeff flake's recent comments won't hurt him in arizona. >> i'm very high in arizona. i love the people. they like me. >> stephen: and if they like you, they also must be very high in arizona. thank you, thank you. really? a little of that. thanks. trump also addressed the recent reports that he couldn't remember a fallen soldier's name. >> i certainly respect la david, who, by the way, i called la david right from the beginning, just so you understand. they put a chart in front: la david. it says, "la david johnson." so i called-- right from the beginning, there's no hesitation. >> stephen: remember when barack
obama would go on tv to brag about being able to read a name off a chart? ( laughter ) i don't remember that. i don't. ( cheers and applause ) did that happen? did that-- do you remember that? >> jon: i don't remember that. >> stephen: i don't remember that. now, keep in mind, if donald-- now keep in mind, keep in mind, if barack obama ever held a press conference like this, the dow would be at zero, and we'd all be fighting over feral cat meat. ( laughter ) and trump explained why he was able to remember the name that was written on the chart in front of him. >> one of the great memories of all time. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's true. it's true. see that. he did that. it's true. look. he remembered to put his hair on today. yes, vague memory. yes, that's, memory, right there. yes. that's why everyone calls me "the elephant in the room." because my memory is so good."
above all, trump just wants the press to know he's just misunderstood. >> i think the press makes me more uncivil than i am. you know, people don't understand. i was a nice student. >> stephen: you were a "nice student?" let me read you this actual passage from "the art of the deal." "in the second grade, i actually gave a teacher a black eye. i punched my music teacher anything about music." ( laughter ) so, yeah, he was a nice student. on his report card under "works and plays well with others," he got "please don't punch me!" ( laughter ) okay, to be honest, that may not be entirely fair. trump did have a point. sort of. >> i went to an ivy league college. i was a nice student. i did very well. i'm a very intelligent person. >> stephen: it's true. i mean, just look at his senior
thesis, "i like rice and pie." ( cheers and applause ) "i like kidneys, kidneys." oh, there was more senate news today. people had been speculating about a possible senate run by michigan rap-rocker and fedora host organism, kid rock. ( laughter ) earlier this year, kid rock even launched a website: kidrockforsenate.com, featuring him and his potential running mate, a terrified deer that he murdered. well, yesterday, kid rock addressed the senate rumors with howard stern. >> (bleep) no, i'm not running for senate. are you (bleep) kidding me? >> thank god. >> like, who (bleep) couldn't figure that out. i've released a new album on november, whatever-- third or something like that. he's not running for-- (bleep) no. are you (bleep) (bleep) me? ( laughter ) >> stephen: so, just to translate, kid rock is not
running for senate. ( laughter ) but, even though he's not running, kid rock is still a trump guy, and he proved it in the interview by taking on the "new york times." >> i get very upset when i hear people knocking "the new york times," which i think is probably the greatest-- >> i'm gonna knock it. >> i do believe that papers like "the new york times" are a miracle. the-- the reporting. >> it's a little bit gay. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i'm not sure what exactly kid rock thinks is "gay" about "the new york times," but i'm going to guess it's the reading part. anyone? i don't know. i don't know. ( applause ) i don't know. hey, anyone here use amazon? you heard about this thing? ( cheers and applause ) if you're not familiar, it's an online bookstore that also makes tv shows and spaceships.
well, today, amaannounced its newest innovation, amazon key, a new service that lets couriers unlock your front door. it's perfect for anyone who loves their uber driver but wishes there was a way they could sneak in and watch you sleep. ( laughter ) clearly, this is going to be huge for amazon, so other companies are stepping up to make their services even more direct. for instance, uber itself has they are offering a new service where they pre-eat the food and put it directly into your mouth. it's called "chew-ber." we have a great show for you tonight. hugh laurie is here. but when we come back, trump's cabinet needs some cleaning. stick around. ♪ ♪
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♪ i'm waiting for your company and hoping that you'll come back to me ♪ >> stephen: jon batiste and stay human. yeah! ( cheers and applause ) that was-- that right there. ( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody! jon, that's-- what were you guys just playing just now? what were you playing? >> jon: fats domino. >> stephen: fats domino. the great. >> jon: yes, amazing. new orleans own. >> stephen: "blueberry hill." >> jon: "blueberry hill." >> stephen: passed today at the ripe old age of 89 years old. fats will be missed.
i want to thank fats domino-- wherever you may be, fats-- for making it to 89 with the nickname fats. that gives a lot of hope to us who don't really want to watch what we eat. >> jon: you can just go for it. >> stephen: he wasn't "slims domino. of he wasn't "let's do some crunches domino. of the he was" let's enjoy lunch dominoes. odominoes." here today, gone, like, in 89 years. you know, we talk a lot about donald trump on this show. don't know if you noticed. ( laughter ) but once in a while, it's nice to stop looking at all the horrible things trump is doing and focus, instead, on the horrible things his cabinet is doing. tonight we're doing that in a new segment we're calling "skeletons in the cabinet." that was a very direct little graphic we had there. >> jon: yeah, literal.
>> stephen: "skeletons in the cabinet." a cabinet what, do you expect to be in there? a skeleton. tonight's skeleton: head of the environmental protection agency, scott pruitt. ( laughing ) pruitt is no stranger to the environmental protection agency, because when he was oklahoma attorney general, he sued the e.p.a. more than a dozen times. putting pruitt in charge of the e.p.a. is like putting voldemort in charge of hogwarts, which, of course, is impossible, because trump already picked him to run health and human services. and since-- since-- ( applause ). >> stephen: a lot of voldemort fans here tonight. a lot of voldemort fans. misunderstood. and-- no he was a really nice student, voldemort. so nice. very smart. very smart. and since taking office, pruitt has spent more time protecting himself than the environment because unlike previous heads of the e.p.a., pruitt is hiring a dozen more agents to work in
shifts providing him round-the-clock protection. over a dozen? to put that into perspective, eric trump only has two secret service agents, and that's just to keep him from choking on loose change. ( laughter ) but it's delicious. quarters are delicious. shiny. but don't worry, the e.p.a. is taking some action, because last week, pruitt pulled e.p.a. scientists out of a climate change conference talk. oh, that is a nerd, nerd punishment. "gentlemen, you cannot participate in that academic conference. i'm also banning usb drives, lanyards and dobbs whether marvel has overextended its universe. for the record, it has. ( laughter ) it has. according to the e.p.a.'s official statement, the scientists would be permitted to attend but not speak, because "it is not an e.p.a. conference." yes, e.p.a. scientists can speak only at e.p.a. conferences, just
like only guys named ted can give ted talks. ( laughter ) that's who they mean. that's who they mean, that guy right there. he's a good guy. you'd like him. he's a good guy. and who is behind this inflammatory, wildly political event that pruitt doesn't want scientists speaking at? the narragansett bay estuary program. that's right, n-bep. and now scientists and citizens alike are protesting pruitt's muzzling of the e.p.a. great job, scott pruitt. if you hadn't made such a big deal of this, nobody would even be talking about the narragansett bay estuary program. most people don't even know what the hell an estuary is. until today, i thought having too much estuary is what caused men to grow breasts. >> jon: oh, oh! yeah, something like, that right? glut. >> stephen: but with prosecute in charge, the
silencing of climate scientists could continue, which means they need to figure out a way to communicate their findings at conferences where they're allowed to attend but not speak. and i believe they can do that with a simple game of charades. jon, will you help me out? >> jon: yes. >> stephen: i will convey to you an environmental idea. this is an environmental idea. here we go. >> jon: three words. you're running. walk-- walk-- walking. something big. huge! trump's ego! planet earth! dying. anthropogenic mass extinction! >> stephen: yes! >> jon: got it! ( cheers and applause ) yes! >> stephen: or these scientists could get their point across through the art of mime. more powerful hurricanes. deforestation forcing animals into smaller habitats.
( laughter ) or this: only because i'm good at it. ( cheers and applause ) and, of course, without saying a word, all of these scientists can deliver a powerful message to scott pruitt. we'll be right back with hugh laurie. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) my wife got me to be a devoted vegetarian... except for every ladies' night. only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. so whatever you throw in the bag... stays in the bag. be happy, it's glad.
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( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, folks, oh, folks, i'm so happy. you know my first guest as dr. house from "house" and now dr. chance from "chance." please welcome hugh laurie! ♪ hugh! ♪ hew! ♪ hew laurie ♪ hugh ♪ hugh ♪ hugh ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> stephen: thanks for coming back. >> it's-- it's a thrill. it's an absolute thrill to be back. thank you. >> stephen: it's a little bit different than the last time you were here, because the last time you were here, you were here for
one of our live shows. >> it was the second-- i believe it was the second presidential debate. >> stephen: right, right. >> i had gone on that evening, and so you did a live thing. how the hell you do that, i will never understand. >> stephen: well, you were there. you it wily sat in when qeer wee eating-- we had writers in there. >> oh, that's what they were doing. i didn't know -- >> stephen: just groupies. >> i thought you were just welcoming people in off the street. no, it was amazing. >> stephen: i was so grateful you came that night because doing a show live is much different than doing it now. there's more pressure. and you were driving around a seg segway, a little segway i had. i was so grateful, i sent one of those to you for christmas this year. and i was wondering if you ever got it, because i never got a
thank you note. ( applause ) and before you-- before you answer. i know you got it, because i got the notice that it had been delivered. that's you, hugh laurie, down here, beverly hills. and up here, it says, "yeah, yeah, good news. it's been delivered. of th."so i got you a present tr a little early. it's stationery. ( applause ). >> and does it have any particular-- >> stephen: you did get it, right? you did get it, right? ( applause ) >> i did-- i did-- i honestly-- stephen, i am horrified. >> stephen: are you? >> horrified by this. >> stephen: yeah. >> because i, in my mind-- and i like to inning reality, too-- wrote you a letter thanking you for this incredibly generous gift. i have no idea why it did not
reach you? >> stephen: uh-huh... >> i'll be honest, i didn't buy you anything in return. >> stephen: yeah. >> um-- >> stephen: year, i noticed. ( laughter ) >> but i am convinced that i wrote to you, and in sort of february, and i can't believe-- and i just feel horrible. and you're welcome to take both of my kidneys now. ( laughter ) and -- >> stephen: how are they? are they good? are they high-quality kidneys? >> not bad. i wouldn't offer you the liver. >> stephen: all right, good. >> that's a mess. >> stephen: we'll put this here for a little later. >> and i just feel like -- >> stephen: and you don't have to send me a thank you note for the thank you notes. >> i will. >> stephen: you absolutely don't need to. >> i will send you two arab stallions. i don't know what you're going to do with those. >> stephen: sounds delicious. >> what would you like? >> stephen: what would i like? >> what size are you in arab stallion? ( laughter ) no-- >> stephen: i'm a medium. >> a medium. >> stephen: i'm a medium. a stallion of any kind.
doesn't have to be arab. >> here's the image i of you-- maybe you've never done this. do you fence? >> stephen: i don't. but i have. >> you have fenced. >> stephen: yes. >> i can picture it. >> stephen: i can picture you fencing, too. >> there's something chivalrous about you. i can see you enguard. -- >> stephen: one of my producers, paul, i gave them epees for his birthday, and all we used them for was we would throw old dvds and cds at each other and swat them out of the air with the epees. a wonderful flash. i recommend it. >> did he send you a thank you note? ( laughter ) >> stephen: he did, he did. >> he kind of did, huh? >> stephen: he did. ( applause ) all the thanks i need is that you're here again. >> no, i don't think that's enough. but thank you for saying that. >> stephen: you're welcome.
last time you were here you said-- you are a little worried about donald trump perhaps being elected, but you gave us kind of a hopeful story about this cab driver who had driven you to the studio that night. >> that's right, yes, yes, who saw all sorts of good things in the future. >> stephen: yeah. >> because he told me-- he said-- he said, "i'm middle eastern," and i didn't want to correct him, because you don't. i mean, i'm in his cab. he said i'm middle east-ren. and you can probably from my appearance. and i said yes. and he said, "i can see a lot of opportunities for me playing a terrorist in tv shows." >> stephen: well, that was very hopeful. did he know you were a tv star gitold him-- it's the first thing i say when i get into a cab. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> stephen: "my good man!" >> i'll have you know. take the long way around. and he said-- i said, i could-- i look like a terrorist, don't
i?" and i said, honestly, i don't know what terrorists look like, but, yes, i-- what do you say? but anyway he was very excited about the opportunities that would open up for him when he traveled west to hollywood, and he was going to make his name as a middle eat-ren -- >> stephen: have you kept in touch with this fella? >> we send cards, yeah. >> stephen: you have played a doctor so many times at this point. do you have a prescription pad or anything like that? i could use a little zoloft. >> i do. >> stephen: you have a prescription pad? with dr. house's name on it or dr. chance? >> i have both. i have a hefty supply of both. they're not legal document s. >> stephen: farm sifts don't know. >> a pharmacist won't know that. that should be your first question, say to the pharmacist, "do you get hulu? you don't get hulu? i'd like to fill this, please." >> stephen: so you played dr. house for eight years.
now you're playing chance. what's chance's first name? >> eldon. >> stephen: eldon chance. let's go with chance. dr. chance who is a neuropsychiatrist? >> correct. >> stephen: what is a neuropsychiatrist? >> well, a psychiatrist, obviously, is mental disfunction generally. neuropsychiatry is the field of psychiatry arising from disease or trauma to the brain and central nervous system. you have a car accident and suddenly don't recognize your grandmother, or whatever it might be. although, you attach neuro to anything, it sounds good. >> stephen: right. >>ing i think of you as a neuro-host. it's just everything sounds -- >> stephen: sure, sure. i host a talk show, but i also could look in your brain. we have a clip here from the new hulu show. and what is happening in this? >> what's happening-- characters are in conflict. if i remember. >> stephen: all right, characters are in conflict.
one is a neuropsychiatrist. we'll find out about the other. jim. >> lindsey, mr. winter is in a fragile state right now. he needs constant medical supervision. it's possible he might hurt himself or someone else. >> i will lodge a formal complaint with the state medical board. >> i get it. you care about him. so do i. we're on the same side here. >> you will lose your license, face charges. should i keep going? >> listen, if anything happens to him, you could be held responsible. >> i am trying my best to be civil, dr. chance. you don't want to see what happens when i stop. >> or maybe i do, lindsey. >> stephen: "or maybe you do." ( applause ) hugh, always a pleasure to see you. >> thank you very much >> stephen: "chance" is on hulu now. hugh laurie, everybody! we'll be right back with gretchen carlson. ♪ ♪ ( applause )
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a former fox news host and current activist in the fight to stop sexual harassment. please welcome gretchen carlson. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ). >> thank you. thanks for having me. >> stephen: thanks so much for being here. >> of course! >> stephen: one of the nice things doing this show now, after doing my old show for 10 years in character, is i get to sit down and have nice conversations with people i made so many jokes about in the old days. >> i was so happy to oblige to give you so much material to work with. >> stephen: you're most welcome. you talked a little smack about me. but this show is like america--
everybody comes together and now we are friends. >> yes, and i'm glad to know we are now. >> stephen: we are. i want to thank you for writing this book. it's called "be fierce: how to stop harassment and take your power back." >> thank you. ( applause ). >> stephen: you absolutely were and are fierce in what you have done. it was a year and a half ago that you brought your suit publicly against roger ailes? >> yeah, it's a date you never forget, july 6, 2016. >> stephen: it really did change a lot. not just in media, but in the united states. it-- you know, when i heard you had done this, i thought, "oh, my god, she must have something on this man," because people forget now because ailes is no longer with us, and his fall was so precipitous, but he was a very powerful and dangerous man in the media industry, especially. what did you think was going to happen when you opened your mouth over this thing that-- this abuse that you were holding
on to? >> probably the most powerful person in media. i mean, it's an excruciating choice for any woman to make this kind of decision because before the environment of what you're in right now you're automatically called a liar, not to be believed-- worse. you know, you just can't take a joke. so this was really an excruciating choice for me to make and to decide that i would do something that might not be good for my children. i mean, that would be the most paramount-- you're a dad. do you do something like this? how your kids going to fare from this? in the end, i did this for all the other women across america who have faced similar indignities. ( applause ) >> stephen: given the present climate, it's easy for people to forget that when you first did this, you were attacked. people were saying, "oh, she's just doing this to further her career or because she was feeling marginalized by roger," something like that.
that there were ulterior motives you had because this couldn't be the proof. >> because so many women want to come forward with sexual harassment claims to be famous and make money. i've never, ever heard of one woman wanting to do that. >> stephen: it's not an uncommon accusation. >> it's an accusations and it's the myth i go through in the book. here's what happens now, stephen-- thank god more women are being fierce and they have found the courage from within and the bravery to come forward and say, "me, too." and they're saying they're not going to put up with this crap anymore. ( applause ) and if i had anything to do with that, i am eternally grateful. if i gave the courage to one person to come forward and be fierce, then my mission has been accomplished. ( applause ). >> stephen: well, i cannot speak for the people who came forward, i can't, of course, speak for the people who came forward and their motivations and how you might have influenced them, but i think it's undeniable that the fact that you came forward and were
proven right was a chirchg in the armor a silence that surrounds powerful men. >> it's so true because, you know, especially with settlement agreements, the women are gagged forever from saying what happened to them. >> stephen: you can't talk about tright? >> i can't talk about it. but my complaint is public for anyone who wants to google it so go ahead and do that. >> stephen: you can't say anything but i can online-- >> you can go online and find out all the salacious details. but here's the point-- i got a public apology. that never happens in a settlement agreement. and to me, that apology was for all of the other women in america and across the world to let them know that if you stand up and you speak up, that you will be heard. heard. ( applause ). >> stephen: well, now we've seen the fall of harvey weinstein, bill o'reilly, roger ailes, roy price, terry richardson, james tobak, the director. , of course, our president has
many accusations against him. do you believe the women who have accused the president of this kind of abuse? >> so, in fact, i feature one of the women who accused president trump in my book "be fierce," because i thought it was so important to give those women voice. >> stephen: so you do believe that. >> i believe the "people" magazine reporter. she tells her story in the book. look, those stories went away pretty quickly. what changed in our culture-- which is amazing because cultural shifts take a long time to change-- in these 15 mongst, all these women who are coming forward now, their stories are still in the news. that is absolutely amazing that we're not discounting them anymore. and men are coming forward, too. this is not just a women's issue. but we need men to help us, so i hope you're going to join my "be fierce" movement. >> stephen: i would love to know more about it but if it's what i, it is, of course,. >> it just means coming forward and helping pem you. >> stephen: can't talk about what happened to you at fox news or your settlement.
you can't talk about your time at fox news. >> dut butt it doesn't matter. >> stephen: it matters to a certain extent because i'm curious of what your time was like there. you are a stanford grad, a high school valedictorian, high school violinist, a deeply intelligent, well educated woman who from the outside seemed fiercely antiintellectual, anti-expert. and how did it feel to carry water. ( cheers and applause ) for no-nothings, as such an intelligent person? i had a friend who had the exact same situation as yours, exactly the same as yours in every way. what do you imagine she felt about her situation? >> well, to the extent that people can be brainwashed within corporate cultures and become part of a cult, you know, that can happen to people. and i'm sure it happens actually here. does it ever happen here. >> stephen: i-- i-- i can only say if you say the trigger word. >> okay, but on a more serious level are here's why settlements should not be secret anymore.
>> stephen: okay. >> because we have decided as a society that we're going to silence women. and that's wrong. >> stephen: and that's what n.d.a.s do, for the most part. >> what they should be doing now is instead of talking about hiring back serial predators, they should be talking about hiring back all the women who lost their jobs as a result of having the bravery coming forward about sexual harassment. ( applause ). >> stephen: but do you-- and i know-- i know we've got to go. before we go, i wanted to ask you, given what has happened, what has happened to harvey weinstein, given the proof of your allegation, the fact that you got a public apology, do you imagine that there's any world in which if you said something about your time at fox news, that the news corp would come after you? wouldn't than the dumbest thing they could possibly co? do you really think that they would lift one finger to call a lawyer to come after you? >> yo i have no idea. but all i know is i'm on a
mission to continue this fight. i'm on capitol hill to change the laws, to take the secrecy away so women have a voice. i've started a fund, gift of courage, to empower women and girls financially so that they can have the resources that i had but they may not to do this fight. and so my mission right now is really about all the other women. it's pervasive in our society, and i want to help them because i have a 12-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter, and i don't want them to face the same indignities that i have faced, ever. and i don't think anyone watching wants that for our kids. >> stephen: that's a fight worth having. the book is "be fierce." the woman is gretchen carlson, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by adam savage and michael stevens.
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of youtube's biggest all right, ready? here we >> and now to review for me and for you and for us of whom in science we trust: ♪ smoke's not just smoke mingling with the air ♪ it's a particular reaction of particulates in attraction ♪ to other things to science things ♪ dinosaurs exist in the plastic toys of kids ♪ made from petroleum ♪ that came from crude oil which ♪ ♪ what dinosaursate might exist then ♪ was just hydrocarbons ♪ stuff decomposing in all of our gardens ♪ even when dinosaurs lived next to dinosaur gardens
♪ how can our synapses be so happy when they're ♪ starved of all the facts that make them fire around real fast ♪ inside our brains? ♪ are made to study microbiology ♪ and physics and astronomy and motion, in the ocean, in the ♪ air, or over there, i do not care ♪ what you study just so ♪ long you make a buddy out of meteors, geology ♪ and matter, dark or light, it doesn't matter doesn't matter in all these things that we sing ♪ they are brain, brain, brain, brain brain candy >> yeah! ♪ a big blazing fire is the
opposite of a plant ♪ it's an exothermic reaction making heat and light ♪ and co2 in its action all from a breath ♪ of what me and what you survive on ♪ oxygen yes now photosynthesis opposes a ♪ fire in every instance it's an endothermic reaction ♪ using heat and light and co2 as its passion fire in every instance all to give us what you and me survive on oxygen, but oh, how can our ♪ how can our synapses be so happy when they're ♪ starved of all the facts that make them fire around real fast ♪ inside our brains? ♪ brains are made to study microbiology ♪ and physics and astronomy and motion, in the ocean, in the ♪ air, or over there, i do not care ♪ what you study just so long you make a buddy out of ♪ meteors, geology and matter, dark or light, it ♪ doesn't matter
♪ of fact, to me, there's commonality ♪ because all these things that we sing ♪ they are brain, brain, brain, brain brain candy ( cheers and applause ) >> well done! >> stephen: "brain candy live" is on tour now. adam savage, michael stevens, everybody. thank you. a bridge shut down over politics. their biggest triumph was a traffic jam. chris christie and kim guadagno's failures shortchanged our future. after 8 years- incomes are down, costs are up and our economy is crawling. we are better than this. i'm phil murphy together we'll build a stronger, fairer economy that works for every new jersey family. christie and guadagno left new jersey stuck. i'm serious about moving new jersey forward.
>> stephen: that's it for the "late show," everybody. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be julianne moore, jermaine fowler, and musical guest, fleet foxes. now, stick around for james corden and his guests, anna wintour and zac posen. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show ♪ ladies and gentlemen, from all the way inside an anonymous tin